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The Vanilla Alternative

Rating: OK
We visited TVA on the 18th Aug.

Although the club was pleasant and clean with friendly people it wasn't for us.

The good points

Clean

Friendly

Good music

Good Bar

Not so good points:

No lockable play rooms

Hot tub full of single men

Showers had no hot water and in main play room.

Overall TVA is an OK club for us but many people find it wonderful and it works for them.

We don't like the fact that on couple only nights there are still single males allowed in, We know this happens as we chat to many single guys who go.

They say a few select males will be attending, Who decides and how many is a few?

Everyone at TVA was friendly but we did feel a little awkward having to avoid a "Few" single males,We would move they would appear, We go into the hot tub they would sit next to us, Even seemed to be in the toilet when we came out of the cubical.

I'm sure this club works for most but sadly not for us.

Happy Swinging all



Date: 27 August 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Return visit for us after a couple of months, Slightly quieter night due to the success of there camp/outdoor activity weekend but still a fantastic mix of visitors.

We prebooked our room 6 weeks ago and got the one we asked for, Greeted at the door like old friends and taken to our room, Lovely huge clean bath towels, double ended bath, copious hot water and bathroom toileteries.

Jacuzzi seemed to be the place to be as it quickly filled but there was always space,The play areas are spotlessly clean as is the whole club.

One thing i like is the way the hosts are always walking round chatting to members/visitors love the personal touch.

Looking forward to our next visit.


Date: 26 August 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Went back on Sunday for my fifth visit and over the moon I did....loved the chilled out atmosphere from the last day of their festival of fun...lazed in the hottub and had great laugh with members and staff...excellent day thanks guys will be back real soon....

Date: 20 August 2012

Rating: Fabulous
It was our first visit to the VA this weekend and we can't praise the staff highly enough, they made us feel so welcome and relaxed. We were taken on a tour when we arrived and were immediately impressed by the layout of the venue, its an extremely beautiful and sexy club, the playrooms are amazing and the jacuzzi is divine, we sampled both and can only say WOW !. We loved the dancefloor and the music was fantastic, there is a quieter room at the back of the main bar area which is cosy and perfect for a chat. The place is immaculate and the staff are constantly walking around and checking everything is clean and tidy.

We found everyone extremely friendly and the vibe is sexy, fun and erotic.

Would highly recommend this club to anyone both newbies and experienced swingers. We really can't wait to go back and are already planning our next visit !

Thank You VA for creating such an amazing club and for making us feel so welcome.



Date: 19 August 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Terrific. We had a super first night at VA. The venue itself is immaculately presented. We were shown round by Colin who put us immediately at ease. He (rightfully) has a great deal of pride in what they have built. More so than any of the clubs we've visited in the UK today, the place oozes quality. It's been done up very tastefully. The play areas are vast. The hot tub is a fantastic feature. It's terrific.

We stayed in the hotel. The hotel offers good value for money. The towels and bedding were immaculately clean which is the most important thing, but the rooms themselves aren't quite up to the standard of the rest of the club itself. It's a nice option to have and can save a late night drive home.

We will be back! xx


Date: 12 August 2012

Rating: Fabulous
OMG This place has changed our lives, few weeks ago we decided to take the plunge into this hobby and went to VA can not fault it its very clean and the staff work hard through out the night keeping everything tidy and in order. Its very tastefully decorated with plenty of relaxed and play areas and the hot tub is cleaner and nicer then any we've known from any hotel or spa. Its attracts a very nice crowd and the bacon sandwiches best i've ever known and i've had enough bacon sandwiches to judge this amazing work guys see you all sunday xxx

Date: 3 August 2012

Rating: Fabulous
we attended VA on a saturday night and we can only give top marks for a great venue. From parking up the entrance was clear to see and as we waited to be signed in had a good bit of banter with others waiting and that just set us up for a great night. The owners and staff were all smartly dressed and oozed sex appeal as well as being comfortable and aproachable with any questions. The bar area is vast and very comfortable. The Hot Tub well what else can we say other than WOW we want one that size. Was huge and well planned out area. Everyone we spoke to was friendly and we were amazed how there was no cliqueness at all. We will be going back for sure, feels petty to say anything about the place was poor as so much thought and design work has gone into the place to make it such a pleasing and comfortable atmospehere for all to enjoy. All i would say folks is maybe some grip pads along the side of the hot tub as the women kept floating away lol. Overall we cant fault or complain on a great venue and a great night of fun. Thanks guys and we,ll be seeing you soon xxxxxx

Date: 23 July 2012

Rating: Fabulous
The prices hadn't changed when we visited recently, so as far as we are aware they are the same. (Or lower as one of the operators pointed out)

Date: 23 July 2012

Rating: Fun
re prices, unsure what prices you are looking at but our members prices have gone down on a friday and sunday and remained the same on a saturday !!

As for age group,that really depends on what night/event you attend,its different most weeks


Date: 19 July 2012

Rating: Fabulous
we agree with the other comment

a very well run and great club

extramly clean and very well organized

we will be back soon


Date: 17 July 2012

Rating: Fabulous
VA is a very well run and thought out club.

The staff, hosts and owners are all really lovely people, willing to help where they can (including joining in the fun if the night allows - we've seen it happen). The guests are all lovely, friendly and welcoming.

A very nice club with a great feel and lovely décor - no mdf or dodgy industrial location here! Huge hot tub, separate and adjoining bed spaces - and a few curtained off private areas for the more shy amongst us all. Dance floor, snug areas to boot for a civilised chat away from the music, and a lot more too.

For us, this is the club to go to facilities wise, however it does attract an older club goer those of around 40's plus. Most likely due to it's rural location, away from large towns and cities and it's higher prices on entrance and at the bar.

If you are of a older age like 40's plus and are the type to enjoy a discerning night of pleasure with like minded and like aged guests then VA should probably be your first choice. Think it got 2nd place in the UK with a recent "sex in the cities" book review too, we can see why!

If you are of a 20/30's age group (like us) and looking for the same then it may not be your type of club as younger guests are very few between - shame really, well for us anyway! So if you like the club or are interested in the club then it would probably be best to take a group - oh, and please send an invite our way too, cheers! lol.


Date: 1 July 2012

Rating: Fabulous
We went to VA a couple of weeks ago and had a really enjoyable night. The club is very luxurious and has a quality feel to it. The owners were very friendly and gave us a very in depth tour of the club. We stayed in the VA hotel as well and found that it was very comfortable and good value for money. Both the club and the hotel were extremely clean and well kept. We would highly recommend this club to anyone and look forward to going again when we are in the area.

Date: 10 June 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Absolutley fabulous club, facilities are excellent and the staff are friendly and very helpful. It has a very relaxed atmosphere and everyone was friendly and enjoying themselves. We will definatley be going back there soon.

Date: 4 June 2012

Rating: Fun
This is our third visit to the club since it opened, but it’s been sometime since our last visit (early 2011) The club is about an hours drive out of the North London suburbs, getting there by public transport is not recommended and there is plenty of on site and well secured parking. As with the previous visits, we have always gone on a Couples Only Night. We had organised something of a ‘Treasure hunt’ with the club that night, so our apologies to anyone who were playing while people were sneaking past looking for clues under pillows and such. We did leave them in such obvious places we thought they would all be found well before the normal playing emmigration hour.

If you want a detailed description of the layout of the club please scroll down to the previous review near the bottom of this forum. In brief the club is in a converted pub / hotel on the A1 and the owners have done a fantastic job of converting the place. The facilities and staff are all great and it’s clear that Jules is the anchor of the place. The DJ did a good job but even though the dance floor has been moved, (big improvement) people still didn’t get up to dance (Male pole dancer demonstration aside) This was odd because every girl and some of the guys that we spoke to, and we spoke to lots, all wanted to get up and have a boogie and they liked the music, so the question is why didn’t they? We think the DJ though great, as stated by one of the regulars, needs to take control of the crowd a little bit more, interact and get them going. One of the issues with the venue is how ever you lay it out, you really do have to fit in with the floor plan of the building and it’s not too likely to fit in with you. So we can fully appreciate the owners have their work cut out with getting every space here to fully work for them. Although the old dance floor area is a great space that is waiting for alternate use and does provide a great area for visiting groups/private hires we would certainly like to see it some how ingratiate its presence more on a weekly basis. Certainly foam parties on a hot summers day (if we get any more) would work really well here. Having read over the criticisms that were mentioned elsewhere below, we cannot agree with comments about lack of towels or dirty toilets. The toilets have always been spotless here, and there is never a shortage of towels around. Certainly the club is not faultless. The hot shower near the vast Jacuzzi wasn’t working. Its aware that with the current layout some areas of the club are more redundant than they should be. Some additional toiletries in the hotel bedrooms would be most welcome, but the bedrooms are clean, the beds comfortable and the shower hot (both when we arrived and when we got up) are the most important things on our list but we were aware that if someone has an impromptu orgy in the room next door until 5am while doing their best to win the Oscar for biggest screaming and most often repeated female orgasm, then you will hear it!! (Hazard of staying over at any swingers venue really) Be aware that not all the rooms are the same, and vary in size. The club is very friendly and we do not feel its cliquey at all, the staff are always on hand to help out without being intrusive even if they do occasionally look like they are undercover for a Presidential motorcade. We have heard comments of people saying the clientele were more on the older side when we have been out elsewhere and as with any club, on some nights that might be true, not so last Saturday. An extremely youthful looking crowd were in attendance, we don’t mean to suggest that there weren’t people of all ages, there were, but they certainly looked great. There was as much socialising as there was playing and the new couples that we spoke to said for their first club experience they felt very comfortable there. Though there is still work to do at VA, this is a great club, and there’s probably only ten clubs in the UK of a similar standard. If you’re going to book a room when you visit, booking ahead is advised it’s often booked up two to three weeks ahead, but always double check last minute for cancellations. If not there’s no shortage of hotels in the area.



Date: 4 June 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Read the review left by cheekygirl. Anyone who has ever been to the clubs named by her would know she's on an agenda! Yes, nowhere's perfect and all can pick issues with every club, but VA is the classiest club in the uk right now!! All the issues she desribed, every club has them from time to time. So, please ingore her stupid agenda driven comments and see for yourself as you'll be amazed at how good it really is!!

Date: 3 June 2012

Rating: Fun
This was our first visit to a club and we think we picked well.The club is very clean,lots of sexy play areas,hottub was amazing!! Staff were very friendly and helpful.Met some lovely people and would definately recommend with club.DD XXXX

Date: 3 June 2012

Rating: Fun
Spent a fun filled evening in the hot tub at VA last night. Made to feel welcome, club is visually stunning.

Date: 27 May 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Just been reading threw the reviews and came across the one on the 15th of April, and have to say they must have gone to the wrong club. VA is the cleanest club I have gone too, staff are help full, and a good laugh,

By reading the reviews on VA which are all true, the person writing the review on the 15th need to get there facts right.... Love VA be back soon


Date: 16 May 2012

Rating: Fun
We went on the sunday, on there free open day, great idea for first timers to check this wonderful venue. Host were lovely and even went out of there way to come and get us, as we got lost on the black cat roundabout, after me taking directions from the wife. If she says turn left, i usually turn right and so on, but on this occasion gave her the benefit of my ever increasing doubt to get us to the venue, as she had the trusted satnav. problem was she tapped in anywhere!!!!!! say no more. Anyway rant over, back to the venue and hosts. Open areas were great and busy throughout the day. We spent alot of time in the hot tub with some very chatty and funny guests, a good laugh actully, and met some familiar faces. The food was welcome, well done guys!!! and plenty of seating to lounge to unwind with a cool drink from the bar. Thanks for showing us the hotel rooms on offer and took note when the gentleman informed us on future works planned to these areas, but as they say Rome was not built in a day so chill, its all good. The art sculpture in the open areas are a nice touch as are the white towels on the dark bed sheets, illuminating these features, very effective, very clean, well done. I could go on but all in all a good day. Only down sides no lockable rooms but to be fair it made a nice change to have something different. Thanks to the hosts who were full of smiles, keep up the good work. xx Mick & Bunny xx

Date: 16 May 2012

Rating: Fabulous
We went to VA yesterday for there open day and we loved it the lay out is so well done Jules is such a good host and they all made us feel so welcome ppl there was so friendly and there was no clickey feeling to the place... The hot tub is more like small swimming pool lol the best hot tub we have ever seen there is plenty of room for playing and socializing im trying very hard to find a fault with the place but honestly i cant. All we can say is try the club out and im sure u will leave with membership keep the good work up guys as all your hard work is paying of see ya on the 25th love cheis n jackie xxx

Date: 14 May 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Had my first experience of a club at VA last night. Absolutely loved it. Lovely venue, lots of space, very chilled atmosphere.

The staff were great, felt very comfortable and welcome. Can't wait to come back xxx


Date: 7 May 2012

Rating: Fabulous
No doubt the best club in the UK. So spacious, clean and comfortable. An amazing venue with a great management team in place, you really are made welcome here. Caters well for all and includes a huge hot tub / jacuzzi, and dancefloor. Professional bar service at reasonable prices and special free nights for those that become members (membership being optional another huge bonus for those who like to try before committing). This is the only club you will find me at these days. :)

Date: 7 May 2012

Rating: Fabulous
I adore this club, it's setting, the ambience and the staff....as a single female swinger it is the only club I feel 100% safe in...with the staff & owners always keeping a watchful eye on me I can safely say I relax here as much as I do at home.

Just a truly wonderful club & always a pleasure to attend...see you all soon and thank you for caring xxxx


Date: 7 May 2012

Rating: Fabulous
We have been away from VA for a while (checking out the clubs over in the west london area) and thought it was time to 'pop up the road' to VA.

Friday night, wow - loads of people, nice and chilled, lots of fun on the pole and a great atmosphere all round.

Spent some time in the tub and the rooms and....didnt have a pack of men following us around or (as we now call it) doing laps ;-)

Great chilled, no stress night, VA is still our number 1, keep up the good work guys :-)


Date: 6 May 2012

Rating: Fabulous
I know, another silly arse jumping on the bandwagon waving the flag and stamping our feet..

OK 185 reviews all positive and 2 not so positive

Think that says everything really..We have been members from day one and think it is fantastic..You certainly have our support

just one point, does make one think a little when any Club is rubbished and 2 others are promoted (not that we have been to the other two, so not really in a position to judge them)..

See you soon at this lovely place, with the lovely staff and their very sexy fan base


Date: 2 May 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Hi all, its Jules here from The VA, thank you all so very very much for the kind words in support of the club, I have to say that the horrid review did upset me but hearing all your kind words has cheered me up no end. THANK YOU xxx

Also for those of you that dont know yet, Michelle and \colin have left the club to go back into retirement and Lesley has joined me, for those of you that have met Les and her hubby Julian you will know that they are both a huge bundle of fun, so to give everyone a chance to meet them properly, on the 13th May ( Sunday) the doors are open to everyone members and non members alike free entry for all. Come and see what we have to offer and have a great days fun.

Again thankyou all, im so chuffed


Date: 1 May 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Been to this fantastic club twice in the past and cant wait to go again, we've really missed it. Hope to get back sooner rather than later. Stayed in the rooms on both occasions as it's a fair old trek from us and couldn't fault the facilities. The staff are awesome and really go above and beyond to ensure you have a great time!

If you haven't been yet, give it a try. You won't be disappointed.

S&P xXx


Date: 25 April 2012

Rating: Fun
Have to agree the club is very clean, it has a country pub feel making it very inviting. Couples there tend to be classy dressed and rather attractive. The Jacuzzi is a good ice breaker but is a bit daunting stepping in whilst everyone looks on. Only downside is its rather expensive at £45 for non members and I think that might have contributed for it being a bit quiet on the night we went.

Date: 22 April 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Have to make a comment after the negative review...... All the staff are very very friendly. They go out of their way to make you welcome. Just wished they were closer to us and we'd be there more often. Have met some very very nice people and had some great times and good laughs. Whether you're a newbie or not, give VA a try - you'll love it. Gert & Bert

Date: 21 April 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Been to this club a few times and love it there. Staff are very friendly, Facilities are great. Hotel has got better, don't stay if its really cold out but the jacuzzi is the main focal point of the night. You can play privately or openly. We would recommend this club to newbies or experienced people. Only down point i can find is you should have to be naked to use the jacuzzi. Can be off putting to new or inexperienced couples. Overall 9.5 out of 10

Date: 20 April 2012

Rating: Fabulous
Fabulous is Not the Word it should be TOP CLASS 5*.

We also can not believe the 1 & only Bad Review that a couple gave & we Totally Agree 110% with Everyone else who has wrote a review on VA.

I Myself am also a very Fussy & picky person.

We have visited many venues before, but after Just one visit back in Feb 2012, we became members with out thinking twice, we have been back many times & every single time it has been 110% in ALL AREAS.

Julie & Scott are the most nicest, friendliest, helpful people we have ever met.

But as we have always said the prove is in the eating.

Who you gonna believe ??? 1 couple or the other 99.9%

Also we have stayed over night, Not had the Luxury room, but our,s was 100% CLEAN, even had our own TV, Kettle with all different drinks, Clean Fresh Towels,Soap & Shampoo provided & the Bed was so so comfy.

Now all this is from one very Fussy Lady.

Dont believe me contact me on our profile.

Bobbie & George

xxxx



Date: 20 April 2012

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