FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Guys pushing their luck.

Guys pushing their luck.

By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

However, whilst chatting over messages he implied he wants to meet me on my own. I find this so frustrating, we were incredibly clear from the start that we will never meet separately. I find it disrespectful to my husband and our marriage that he asked.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx

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By *olfandtazCouple 15 weeks ago

Bristol

Some people want their cake and eat it. It's happened to us after one meet.

It ended in us blocking them and deleting them

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By *exyScientistsCouple 15 weeks ago

Castlebar

If you don't ask you don't get!

But more fool him for risking it. However I would say that there are couples who say one thing in there profile and do things differently when it suits. 🤔

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"If you don't ask you don't get!

But more fool him for risking it. However I would say that there are couples who say one thing in there profile and do things differently when it suits. 🤔 "

I understand that. But we were so so so clear from the start. I made a point of making it very obvious it was never going to be an option xx

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By *end1Man 15 weeks ago

southend on sea

Sadly your always find a few guys try this.i would block him and take time to find a guy who respects your boundaries and addresses you as a couple at all times. Us respectful guys are here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Some people want their cake and eat it. It's happened to us after one meet.

It ended in us blocking them and deleting them "

The same thing happened to you guys ?

We haven't blocked him, we've removed him from our friends list and won't be meeting him again. It's annoying because we liked him xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Sadly your always find a few guys try this.i would block him and take time to find a guy who respects your boundaries and addresses you as a couple at all times. Us respectful guys are here."

We thought he did. It is surprisingly difficult to find guys like you describe. But yes, that's exactly what we are working on xx

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By *exyScientistsCouple 15 weeks ago

Castlebar

"If you don't ask you don't get!

But more fool him for risking it. However I would say that there are couples who say one thing in there profile and do things differently when it suits. 🤔

I understand that. But we were so so so clear from the start. I made a point of making it very obvious it was never going to be an option xx"

I guess he thought he was that good that you'd change your mind 🙄

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By *evonrobMan 15 weeks ago

Kingsbridge

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx"

Can only say that the guy must be a blithering idiot!! I’m sure you can set your own parameters to the many others who would be delighted, and very lucky, to meet you both on your terms! More fool him!

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By *andPextraCouple 15 weeks ago

North West

Not quite the same circs but met someone in a club.

Laid out clear boundaries.

Went along with our rules for about 90 seconds and then pushed his luck, leading to me curtailing it there and then.

We then didn't involve another man for about 12 months as that put me right off

Very annoying in terms of how quickly he went from "yes boss, whatever you wish so we can play" to "sod that, I'll do as I like "

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"If you don't ask you don't get!

But more fool him for risking it. However I would say that there are couples who say one thing in there profile and do things differently when it suits. 🤔

I understand that. But we were so so so clear from the start. I made a point of making it very obvious it was never going to be an option xx

I guess he thought he was that good that you'd change your mind 🙄"

Hahaha yeah maybe. Silly really to not understand what makes the meets good is sharing the moment and pleasure with my husband xx

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By *om and JennieCouple 15 weeks ago

Chams or Socials

Lots of slimey people about and its not just single guys, i have seen couples do this and try and meet just the mrs behind her hubbys back. One of the reasons im starting to lose faith in the lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago

Some guys just never learn. Id be happy with a 3sum all day long would never even consider asking for a solo meet unless the couple implied that was a possibility even then it would be the womans decision to ask.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Not quite the same circs but met someone in a club.

Laid out clear boundaries.

Went along with our rules for about 90 seconds and then pushed his luck, leading to me curtailing it there and then.

We then didn't involve another man for about 12 months as that put me right off

Very annoying in terms of how quickly he went from "yes boss, whatever you wish so we can play" to "sod that, I'll do as I like "

Oh really ? that's bad ! did he just think you'd go along with it once you had started playing ?

that would really have put me off as well. Good for you stoppingthe meet there and then xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Lots of slimey people about and its not just single guys, i have seen couples do this and try and meet just the mrs behind her hubbys back. One of the reasons im starting to lose faith in the lifestyle.

Oh really ? I hadn't even thought of that. For us, we are secure in our marriage, we are extremely happy together, the fab side of life is fun but it doesn't define us. But I guess not all couples are like that. That's an interesting point you mentioned and I'm glad you did xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx

Thank you, very kind xx

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 15 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx"

I've had a request for a threesome recenrly and I intend to meat both everytime because there so dam cool, if there's a second of course.

Why are people like this, is it some kind of ploy to get the trust of the women?

I dunno I'm tired

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx

I've had a request for a threesome recenrly and I intend to meat both everytime because there so dam cool, if there's a second of course.

Why are people like this, is it some kind of ploy to get the trust of the women?

I dunno I'm tired "

I'm really not sure. I hadn't thought of it like that, perhaps his plan was to earn my trust then steal me away from my husband. That thought hadn't crossed my mind. Because we are open and honest with people I assume people are the same in return. Perhaps I'm being naive ? xx

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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago

Maybe he just didn't feel as lucky as you both did?

I get halves of couples (real couples where I've met the lady and she really exists!) asking to meet alone pretty routinely.

It's not usually for me, and my personal profile makes that clear. But, equally, it just means I'm not for them. Most people aren't for most people

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Some guys just never learn. Id be happy with a 3sum all day long would never even consider asking for a solo meet unless the couple implied that was a possibility even then it would be the womans decision to ask."

Agreed xx

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By *andPextraCouple 15 weeks ago

North West

"Not quite the same circs but met someone in a club.

Laid out clear boundaries.

Went along with our rules for about 90 seconds and then pushed his luck, leading to me curtailing it there and then.

We then didn't involve another man for about 12 months as that put me right off

Very annoying in terms of how quickly he went from "yes boss, whatever you wish so we can play" to "sod that, I'll do as I like "

Oh really ? that's bad ! did he just think you'd go along with it once you had started playing ?

that would really have put me off as well. Good for you stoppingthe meet there and then xx"

I think that was his plan. Initially tried to laugh it off with "youre so hot I couldn't help myself" comment and I replied "you're so disrespectful you can fuck off" which after about 10 seconds he realised I wasnt joking. He's since come over to me I a club again and I've told him to get lost in no uncertain terms.

His loss, not mine. He probably doesn't realise single men are quite frankly ten a penny and pushing his luck is going to be counter productive in the long run.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Not quite the same circs but met someone in a club.

Laid out clear boundaries.

Went along with our rules for about 90 seconds and then pushed his luck, leading to me curtailing it there and then.

We then didn't involve another man for about 12 months as that put me right off

Very annoying in terms of how quickly he went from "yes boss, whatever you wish so we can play" to "sod that, I'll do as I like "

Oh really ? that's bad ! did he just think you'd go along with it once you had started playing ?

that would really have put me off as well. Good for you stoppingthe meet there and then xx

His loss, not mine. He probably doesn't realise single men are quite frankly ten a penny and pushing his luck is going to be counter productive in the long run. "

Good for you, I really like that you had the confidence to say that to him and put him in his place !

And you are quite right, there are lots of guys both on here and in the clubs it's easy to move on to another one. I imagine he'll soon get a bad reputation for himself.

On the plus side, there are some great people on here. We've had some amazing meets where boundaries have been respected.

I'm trying not to let the exception spoil it for us.

more fool him I guess xx

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By *rsKOTCTWoman 15 weeks ago

Leeds

It happens, we had the same with a woman when we politely said no thanks she decided she'd go after the Mr alone, turns out she's some bat shit crazy fucker but still, it's just rude and disrespectful.

Mrs

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By *ellinever70Woman 15 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I imagine it's because he just wanted to have sex again

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By *appywarkscoupleCouple 15 weeks ago

West Midlans

We haven’t met that many guys off here but all bar one of them have tried this.

It feels like guys who say they want to meet couples only tolerate it in the hope they use it as a springboard for one on one meets.

This hassle is one of the main reasons we cannot really be bothered with meets from here any longer - just too much aggro.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"It happens, we had the same with a woman when we politely said no thanks she decided she'd go after the Mr alone, turns out she's some bat shit crazy fucker but still, it's just rude and disrespectful.

Mrs "

It's definitely just as rude and disrespectful. Boundaries and rules should be respected regardless of if it's the guys or us women.

We've had a few private messages from this post, I'm beginning to realise it's more common that I thought.

But come on, do people seriously think they will come between a married couple ? honestly I'm still shocked/annoyed by it.

Thank you for your comment, I better keep a closer eye on my husband after we meet with other women haha xx

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By *hegentlemanbullMan 15 weeks ago

Southam

Hi OP, and all.

As a single gent it is a privilege to join a couple - whether the dynamic is stag/vixen, hotwife/cuck - and luckily that knowledge has helped me enjoy a nunber of very sexy liaisons over the years.

No tolerance for silly single chaps that let the side down.

TGB

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By *espectfulSilverFoxMan 15 weeks ago

sunbury

Not all like that...i was a longterm lover to a couple...loved meeting them both before and after...always respected the boundaries that i was the lucky one to be able to join them

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"I imagine it's because he just wanted to have sex again

He could have done that with my husband there. Why ask to meet separately ? xx

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By *umagain58Man 15 weeks ago

London

Some guys just don’t respect. I always respect what like or not. Yes sometimes can be disappointed but we all have choices on what we like. Always do that and anyway it’s much more fun

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Hi OP, and all.

As a single gent it is a privilege to join a couple - whether the dynamic is stag/vixen, hotwife/cuck - and luckily that knowledge has helped me enjoy a nunber of very sexy liaisons over the years.

No tolerance for silly single chaps that let the side down.

TGB"

Very well said. It's nice to hear from genuine guts who respect our boundaries xx

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By *ellinever70Woman 15 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"I imagine it's because he just wanted to have sex again

He could have done that with my husband there. Why ask to meet separately ? xx"

Did he have sex with your husband when you met?

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By *enelope2UWoman 15 weeks ago

Fife

[Removed by poster at 08/09/24 14:28:39]

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By *all me missWoman 15 weeks ago

South Wales

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx"

His loss and he’s the one that will now miss out …. It’s not hard to have gone by what you have asked it sounds like no matter what he had he would have always wanted more greedy guy lol

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By *ighland couple 99Couple 15 weeks ago

Inverness

Try and give people the benefit of the doubt but the block button is getting used more and more these days.

It’s a small minority of guys that give the rest a bad name. 🤨

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By *enelope2UWoman 15 weeks ago

Fife

That warrants a full and instant block. Keeping him as a friends is the VERY reason guys try their luck..what's the point of having him on your page if what you say is true. For all he knows it could have been the husband messaging and the wife wanted to do solo as Many couples profiles are not a united profile.

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By *hongman1Man 15 weeks ago

Mansfield

I’m not saying this sucks but let’s say “that guy pushed his luck” eh?!!

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By *hegentlemanbullMan 15 weeks ago

Southam

"Hi OP, and all.

As a single gent it is a privilege to join a couple - whether the dynamic is stag/vixen, hotwife/cuck - and luckily that knowledge has helped me enjoy a nunber of very sexy liaisons over the years.

No tolerance for silly single chaps that let the side down.

TGB

Very well said. It's nice to hear from genuine guts who respect our boundaries xx"

I know that there are a whole raft of very lovely, respectful, and naughty chaps on here.

You two will not go without suitable partners.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

" That warrants a full and instant block. Keeping him as a friends is the VERY reason guys try their luck..what's the point of having him on your page if what you say is true. For all he knows it could have been the husband messaging and the wife wanted to do solo as Many couples profiles are not a united profile. "

We haven't kept him as friends, we removed him from our friend list.

I think your right. Blocking him is probably the better option xx

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By *asterMeliodasMan 15 weeks ago

Newmill

Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory like a champion.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Try and give people the benefit of the doubt but the block button is getting used more and more these days.

It’s a small minority of guys that give the rest a bad name. 🤨"

Hello again you two. Yes, you're completely right. It's a shame really xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory like a champion."

Hahahaha, brilliant. That made us both laugh xx

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By *enelope2UWoman 15 weeks ago

Fife

We haven't kept him as friends, we removed him from our friend list.

I think your right. Blocking him is probably the better option xx"

If there's no chance of another encounter then yes otherwise as stated before he could message the MRS one day and MR the next and get 2 different messages or communication... a block he gets neither..and if you are a united agreement that's a clear message he's crossed your mutual decision and boundaries..

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By *he_13th_ghostWoman 15 weeks ago

Swindon

I think a penis and balls do something to some peoples cognitive functions. The same issue that causes them to be unable to read too.

It's like this in non sexual situations too

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By *WB85Man 15 weeks ago

Staffordshire

People always seem to push your boundaries.

Stand firm, it's ultimately their loss.

We frequently have it with our couples account, couples wanting to meet and after chatting they basically say they want wife only.

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By *illyMidOffCouple 15 weeks ago

Newcastle under Lyme

Same happened to us. Very disrespectful!

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By *umagain58Man 15 weeks ago

London

"Same happened to us. Very disrespectful!"

Always respect lovely people

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By *nkedguy777Man 15 weeks ago

Manchester

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx"

In my opinion he's totally out of order,he should think himself lucky to be even having meets with you two, people like that can often make it difficult for other single guys to get meets

It potentially put you off having fun with single guys,he should respect your boundaries and as you say don't push his luck

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By *olfandtazCouple 15 weeks ago

Bristol

"Some people want their cake and eat it. It's happened to us after one meet.

It ended in us blocking them and deleting them

The same thing happened to you guys ?

We haven't blocked him, we've removed him from our friends list and won't be meeting him again. It's annoying because we liked him xx"

Yeah, it's happened to us once, we said no to them meeting taz solo and it turned into him giving us messages everyday asking to xx

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By *asterMeliodasMan 15 weeks ago

Newmill

"Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory like a champion.

Hahahaha, brilliant. That made us both laugh xx"

Making people laugh is one of the main reasons I'm here, so I'm glad.

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By *L_NativeMan 15 weeks ago

Davenport

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx"

I just looked at your verification page and IF he is the one at the top of your list then I'd say it's a maturity factor. In the grand scheme of things he probably hasn't heard "no" to often. It might not be a great idea, but maybe (just mabe) have your husband say something to him and try to let him know what is what. It might be a learning lesson for him and allow you to have him when you want. (You did say you liked him and wanted to mabe make him a regular) sometimes that connection is hard to find and you don't wto give it up to fast.

Just saying as an older male.

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By *ellhungvweMan 15 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I am going to take a different view to OP and all the white knights who have ridden in behind them.

Pretty much every couple I have met has started off by them telling me that they only meet as a couple. I am happy with that. However almost always we have, eventually, met with out hubby as well. I think that’s probably the norm.

I love meeting couples with both present. I love the dynamic and I love getting to know the husbands - they are always good guys. I also love meeting wives on their own and I know that, once many couples have gotten comfortable with you they also feel the same.

T idea of meeting alone almost always comes out of conversations. They know where I stand and they decide what to do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx

Just saying as an older male. "

Definitely not. I was crystal clear about never meeting alone. I would never let a man disrespect my husband and our marriage like that and give him a second chance.

Whether I liked him or not is irrelevant after that.

But thank you for your comment and offering a different perspective for us to consider xx

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By *obandruthCouple 15 weeks ago

wolverhampton

We get that quite often. The answer is always no.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"I am going to take a different view to OP and all the white knights who have ridden in behind them.

T idea of meeting alone almost always comes out of conversations. They know where I stand and they decide what to do."

Most couples are not us. When I say never I mean never. Boundaries are clearly stated and set. I made it clear to never ask me to meet alone as I do with all potential meets.

That being said, it sounds like you have a fair bit of experience and I appreciate you commenting to offer a different perspective.

I dont agree with you at all, I don't see how just because it is exceptable for one couple to meet separately that would transfer to us and our marriage ?

I'm happy for us to agree to disagree. And I actually didn't realise that happened with couples so thank you for the info xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"We get that quite often. The answer is always no.

Yeah. Same for us xx

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By *ellhungvweMan 15 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"I am going to take a different view to OP and all the white knights who have ridden in behind them.

T idea of meeting alone almost always comes out of conversations. They know where I stand and they decide what to do.

Most couples are not us. When I say never I mean never. Boundaries are clearly stated and set. I made it clear to never ask me to meet alone as I do with all potential meets.

That being said, it sounds like you have a fair bit of experience and I appreciate you commenting to offer a different perspective.

I dont agree with you at all, I don't see how just because it is exceptable for one couple to meet separately that would transfer to us and our marriage ?

I'm happy for us to agree to disagree. And I actually didn't realise that happened with couples so thank you for the info xx"

That’s fine. I know couples who share your views and I fully respect that. My one observation would be that if he was that good and you had that much fun with him are you 100% sure that cutting off all contact is the right thing to do?

A throwaway comment on a message that “implies” something would seem a little drastic to cut off what could be a fun relationship. That however is your decision.

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By *ll-Knight-longMan 15 weeks ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

I have found the dynamic with couples can be different too, some enjoy the social interaction as a couple 1st ( which I prefer) Others the male takes a back seat as a voyeur ( this can be almost as if the whole event is very clinical) Haveeven been in separate room for a while then male has joined in. But the main thing when we all talked before it was more fun for all

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By *ecretmeetshotmanMan 15 weeks ago

Wow what an idiot? What did he do to break rules?

Can’t imagine if ever put a foot wrong if got the chance to play with you……such a privileged, as it is to join any lady / couple

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"I am going to take a different view to OP and all the white knights who have ridden in behind them.

T idea of meeting alone almost always comes out of conversations. They know where I stand and they decide what to do.

Most couples are not us. When I say never I mean never. Boundaries are clearly stated and set. I made it clear to never ask me to meet alone as I do with all potential meets.

That being said, it sounds like you have a fair bit of experience and I appreciate you commenting to offer a different perspective.

I dont agree with you at all, I don't see how just because it is exceptable for one couple to meet separately that would transfer to us and our marriage ?

I'm happy for us to agree to disagree. And I actually didn't realise that happened with couples so thank you for the info xx

A throwaway comment on a message that “implies” something would seem a little drastic to cut off what could be a fun relationship. That however is your decision."

He wasn't "that good" it was a comfortable meet that we enjoyed and had fun with. But yes, cutting him off completely is 100% the right thing to do. How do you think it made made my husband feel him asking to meet me alone ? breaking our rules and boundaries set together as a married couple and clearly laid out in message and in person ?

It's not a throw away comment. It's blatant disrespect.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Wow what an idiot? What did he do to break rules?

Can’t imagine if ever put a foot wrong if got the chance to play with you……such a privileged, as it is to join any lady / couple "

Thank you xx

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By *andPextraCouple 15 weeks ago

North West

We always make clear we have rules. They are no negotiable.

Equally, if play partners have them we are all ears, it's not a one way street

After all, it's meant to be fun for all, and respecting boundaries is a key component of it, male, female or couple

Simply some people either don't get it to begin with, or think with their genitals in the heat of the moment because they feel entitled enough to get away with it

Id rather have one great meet than 50 mediocre or compromised ones, so I'm not shy in setting my stall out. Nor should anyone else be.

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By *enelope2UWoman 15 weeks ago

Fife

"I am going to take a different view to OP and all the white knights who have ridden in behind them.

T idea of meeting alone almost always comes out of conversations. They know where I stand and they decide what to do.

Most couples are not us. When I say never I mean never. Boundaries are clearly stated and set. I made it clear to never ask me to meet alone as I do with all potential meets.

That being said, it sounds like you have a fair bit of experience and I appreciate you commenting to offer a different perspective.

I dont agree with you at all, I don't see how just because it is exceptable for one couple to meet separately that would transfer to us and our marriage ?

I'm happy for us to agree to disagree. And I actually didn't realise that happened with couples so thank you for the info xx"

Because as most have pointed out a noodle is not straight once wet...people's "rules, boundaries", change and most on this site don't take what us said as serious or set in stone.. stick to your rules and move on. Yeah it sucks but there's many more who would obey them but there's many others who won't.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"We always make clear we have rules. They are no negotiable.

Equally, if play partners have them we are all ears, it's not a one way street

After all, it's meant to be fun for all, and respecting boundaries is a key component of it, male, female or couple

Simply some people either don't get it to begin with, or think with their genitals in the heat of the moment because they feel entitled enough to get away with it

Id rather have one great meet than 50 mediocre or compromised ones, so I'm not shy in setting my stall out. Nor should anyone else be. "

I think that's why it's nothing me so much. I wasn't shy either. I made the rules/boundaries/limits crystal clear and he completely disregarded them.

It's great to get people's views on the situation. We'll take it as a learning curve/experience and move on.

Thank you for your chat/support xx

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By *ustamanMan 15 weeks ago

weymouth

Oh FFS, is it any wonder why respectful genuine guys find it difficult to get meets of any kind when idiots like that go spoiling it for others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Oh FFS, is it any wonder why respectful genuine guys find it difficult to get meets of any kind when idiots like that go spoiling it for others. "

Honestly, it does unfortunately impact genuine guys. It makes me sceptical and entrusting of the guys messaging today.

We are hoping to find a guy we can meet regularly but he has to be respectful of our marriage and boundaries xx

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By *andPextraCouple 15 weeks ago

North West

For balance though, we have had the misfortune of equally distasteful behaviour form couples or females, Inc a single lady asking who it was messaging at the time (hubby) and asking to go off line with him alone.

It's why I insist on several social only engagements before playing with people we meet through here.

It narrows down our options but if I don't like you with clothes on (and with more than one meeting people tend to revert to type- they can hide their true selves for long) I won't like you with your clothes off

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By *ll-Knight-longMan 15 weeks ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

"Oh FFS, is it any wonder why respectful genuine guys find it difficult to get meets of any kind when idiots like that go spoiling it for others.

Honestly, it does unfortunately impact genuine guys. It makes me sceptical and entrusting of the guys messaging today.

We are hoping to find a guy we can meet regularly but he has to be respectful of our marriage and boundaries xx"

I have also found it an “age thing” that young males can be very disrespectful & self centred

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By *en ukMan 15 weeks ago

harrow London

BLOCK 🚫 him .

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Oh FFS, is it any wonder why respectful genuine guys find it difficult to get meets of any kind when idiots like that go spoiling it for others.

Honestly, it does unfortunately impact genuine guys. It makes me sceptical and entrusting of the guys messaging today.

We are hoping to find a guy we can meet regularly but he has to be respectful of our marriage and boundaries xx

I have also found it an “age thing” that young males can be very disrespectful & self centred "

That's an intresting point I had not considered xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"BLOCK 🚫 him ."

Hahaha, no messing. Love it ! xx

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By *enelope2UWoman 15 weeks ago

Fife

"For balance though, we have had the misfortune of equally distasteful behaviour form couples or females, Inc a single lady asking who it was messaging at the time (hubby) and asking to go off line with him alone.

It's why I insist on several social only engagements before playing with people we meet through here.

Exactly this!!! I clearly say that in my profile but 99% see pics and think I fuck anything despite my verifications also stating the same..

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By *arkhelgaCouple 15 weeks ago

leeds

Welcome to the wonderful world of fabX

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By *en ukMan 15 weeks ago

harrow London

I met a lot of couples, but I always arranged their rules ahead of time and every time everything went according to the plans made.

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By *jonesMan 15 weeks ago

Plymouth

"If you don't ask you don't get!

But more fool him for risking it. However I would say that there are couples who say one thing in there profile and do things differently when it suits. 🤔

I understand that. But we were so so so clear from the start. I made a point of making it very obvious it was never going to be an option xx

I guess he thought he was that good that you'd change your mind 🙄

Hahaha yeah maybe. Silly really to not understand what makes the meets good is sharing the moment and pleasure with my husband xx "

Exactly...the chemistry of sharing ...love it

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

It's why I insist on several social only engagements before playing with people we meet through here.

You guys definitely have more experience than us in the lifestyle and I really really appreciate you handing down advice. It shows how close our community can be with the right people.

And yes, more socials are a great idea xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"If you don't ask you don't get!

But more fool him for risking it. However I would say that there are couples who say one thing in there profile and do things differently when it suits. 🤔

I understand that. But we were so so so clear from the start. I made a point of making it very obvious it was never going to be an option xx

I guess he thought he was that good that you'd change your mind 🙄

Hahaha yeah maybe. Silly really to not understand what makes the meets good is sharing the moment and pleasure with my husband xx

Exactly...the chemistry of sharing ...love it

Thank you xx

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By *andPextraCouple 15 weeks ago

North West

It's why I insist on several social only engagements before playing with people we meet through here.

You guys definitely have more experience than us in the lifestyle and I really really appreciate you handing down advice. It shows how close our community can be with the right people.

And yes, more socials are a great idea xx"

There are two things GUARANTEED to weld my legs shut.

Firstly, a sense of self entitlement from anyone. Just because we wink, message, meet etc isn't a cast iron guarantee you're playing with me. Quite frankly you have to earn that right (as do I with you)

Secondly, arrogance. I couldn't give two hoots of you get loads of meets, are a model, highly in demand on here etc etc.

As above. Play is not a given. Rules are there for a reason. Respect is paramount.

Always free to vote with their feet and jog on.

One thing I have developed.on here is more of a thick skin and less attention given to what others think

After all of I don't put myself and hubby first, no one else is likely to.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

It's why I insist on several social only engagements before playing with people we meet through here.

You guys definitely have more experience than us in the lifestyle and I really really appreciate you handing down advice. It shows how close our community can be with the right people.

And yes, more socials are a great idea xx

There are two things GUARANTEED to weld my legs shut.

Secondly, arrogance. I couldn't give two hoots of you get loads of meets, are a model, highly in demand on here etc etc.

As above. Play is not a given. Rules are there for a reason. Respect is paramount.

Always free to vote with their feet and jog on.

One thing I have developed.on here is more of a thick skin and less attention given to what others think

After all of I don't put myself and hubby first, no one else is likely to.

Such a strong woman. Gosh, how refreshing. My thoughts exactly, my husband and I come first.

Fab life is great but it is only a part of multiple aspects of our life that combines to make an amazing marriage.

You two sound very strong together, I like that xx

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By *atureandhornyCouple 15 weeks ago

Liverpool

Why the he'll would you want to meet just the woman when you can enjoy the woman in a threesome situation

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Why the he'll would you want to meet just the woman when you can enjoy the woman in a threesome situation "

I have no idea, that's what is so baffling to us. He could have had regular sex with me as a threesome. Unless he was trying to steal me away from my husband (which is never going to happen) xx

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By *ellinever70Woman 15 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"Why the he'll would you want to meet just the woman when you can enjoy the woman in a threesome situation

I have no idea, that's what is so baffling to us. He could have had regular sex with me as a threesome. Unless he was trying to steal me away from my husband (which is never going to happen) xx"

Oh come now, do you really think he's trying to steal you away? I honestly think when men do this it's simply sex they're after...without another guy present

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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago

Get it all the time

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Get it all the time

Oh really ? is it quite common ? xx

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple 15 weeks ago

Stoke

We've even had it from couples. We've all played together, then start a 4 way group chat and the guy starts messaging me separately... Disrespectful and Disgusting behaviour!

BLOCKED!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"We've even had it from couples. We've all played together, then start a 4 way group chat and the guy starts messaging me separately... Disrespectful and Disgusting behaviour!

BLOCKED!! "

I just don't understand why they would do that ? obviously you found it disrespectful as did I. What are they thinking ? that were not going to tell our husbands ? I can only assume they have no real understanding of the lifestyle xx

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple 15 weeks ago

Stoke

"We've even had it from couples. We've all played together, then start a 4 way group chat and the guy starts messaging me separately... Disrespectful and Disgusting behaviour!

BLOCKED!!

I've no idea what they expect to gain it's ridiculous, it didn't work and I instantly showed him the message. I've the same morals as you, disrespect the fella and you're toast, he's exactly the same with me!

Well done you!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"We've even had it from couples. We've all played together, then start a 4 way group chat and the guy starts messaging me separately... Disrespectful and Disgusting behaviour!

BLOCKED!!

Well done you!! "

Thank you so much ! some of the comments on this thread had me doubting myself. Especially those from guys saying to "give him another chance".

Disrespecting my husband is Disrespecting my marriage. There is never an excuse for that.

I instantly showed my husband to message too.

Your husband is a lucky guy to have a loyal wife with such self respect and morals xx

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By *mileyculturebelfastMan 15 weeks ago

belfast

"Sadly your always find a few guys try this.i would block him and take time to find a guy who respects your boundaries and addresses you as a couple at all times. Us respectful guys are here."

Ooooohhh I'm respectful please pick me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Sadly your always find a few guys try this.i would block him and take time to find a guy who respects your boundaries and addresses you as a couple at all times. Us respectful guys are here.

Belfast is a little too far away from leeds x

Ooooohhh I'm respectful please pick me. "

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By *orny mids guyMan 15 weeks ago

Market Harborough

A long term couple is the perfect scenario! He must be stupid !!!! 😘

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By *oralltherightreasonsCouple 15 weeks ago

WELLINGBOROUGH

He would be blocked immediately,at the end of the day we own the pussy so we set the rules and there are plenty out there happy to follow them and enjoy themselves still.

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By *mtogtherCouple 15 weeks ago

north shields

We have had this ourselves in a club it out us off single blokes as we are still pretty new to the lifestyle so tend to stick with couples know

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By *all me missWoman 15 weeks ago

South Wales

"We've even had it from couples. We've all played together, then start a 4 way group chat and the guy starts messaging me separately... Disrespectful and Disgusting behaviour!

BLOCKED!! "

I’ve had this with a couple also all going well and bang the guy asked me to meet alone with just him ….not what i wanted so i made my excuses and haven’t met again.

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By *.hrisMan 15 weeks ago

Bath

If you don't ask, you don't get

How pushy was he being though? Did he just ask if you would ever be up for it? Or was he really trying to push for a meet, even though you told him 'no' already?

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By *orthern BeardMan 15 weeks ago

Preston

More fool him I guess. If the boundaries and the wants were clear from the off he’s just lost what could have been a very good thing.

Tells me that maybe he isn’t really into sharing

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple 15 weeks ago

Pembrokeshire

Ive had exactly that happen more than once

My guess is it's heat of the moment... human nature for guys who dig us to want us to themselves

would be so easy to do that, but if together is your set boundary it isn't happening, and I totally understand it offends you.

Don't do it lads, you only miss out in the end.

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By *urAlterEgosCouple 15 weeks ago

Barnsley

"We have had this ourselves in a club it out us off single blokes as we are still pretty new to the lifestyle so tend to stick with couples know "

We’ve never had this with single guys. Always found them to be respectful. Couples however, completely different. Always pushing their luck even though we’ve told them we don’t play with couples. The worst situation was a woman we’d been chatting with and we’d explicitly just told “we don’t play with women or couples” decided to come up from behind Mrs A while the two of us were chatting and started kissing her neck and touching her. No means no, whoever is being told.

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By *mtogtherCouple 15 weeks ago

north shields

"We have had this ourselves in a club it out us off single blokes as we are still pretty new to the lifestyle so tend to stick with couples know

Yes we have come across couples aswell that csnt take no for answer

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"We have had this ourselves in a club it out us off single blokes as we are still pretty new to the lifestyle so tend to stick with couples know

No, that's actually a great point. It isn't just guys who disrespect boundaries. We haven't experienced this yet, but you are not the first people to mention couples also try to break the rules/disrespect other couples.

Well said xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"We have had this ourselves in a club it out us off single blokes as we are still pretty new to the lifestyle so tend to stick with couples know

Yes we have come across couples aswell that csnt take no for answer"

This seems to be more common that I realised. It's really not ok xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"If you don't ask, you don't get

How pushy was he being though? Did he just ask if you would ever be up for it? Or was he really trying to push for a meet, even though you told him 'no' already?"

Does it make a difference how pushy he was being or how he asked ? the rules are the rules and couples boundaries are the boundaries. no ?

Sarah x

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By *nytime2023Couple 15 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

Sadly, morons come in all shapes and sizes. We’ve had issues with men, women and couples pushing their luck before. We make it very clear from the start what we are looking for or can offer but some just like to push it further. I will add, these instances are rare and 99% of encounters have been awesome. V&K xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Sadly, morons come in all shapes and sizes. We’ve had issues with men, women and couples pushing their luck before. We make it very clear from the start what we are looking for or can offer but some just like to push it further. I will add, these instances are rare and 99% of encounters have been awesome. V&K xx"

Thanks guys. All of our encounters have been great and respectful up until now. I guess we had it coming because things have been going so well.

We've met some great people and really connected with fellow lifestylers. That's what we need to focus on.

And honestly, we've had so many private messages of support from other couples because of this thread chat. And good people like yourselves commenting.Its really made us feel connected to the community and it's been great to share the not so positive side of the lifestyle and to hear we are not alone and others have experienced simlar is reassuring so thank you both again xx

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By *.hrisMan 15 weeks ago

Bath

"If you don't ask, you don't get

How pushy was he being though? Did he just ask if you would ever be up for it? Or was he really trying to push for a meet, even though you told him 'no' already?

Does it make a difference how pushy he was being or how he asked ? the rules are the rules and couples boundaries are the boundaries. no ?

Sarah x"

If I was on here as a couple and a guy asked if he could meet my partner alone, I'd not be offended. But if I told him no and he kept asking, then I'd think that he was then taking the piss.

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By *andPextraCouple 15 weeks ago

North West

Not to make light of the situation (consent that is ) but I had a very odd experience in a club that still bemuses me.

Happily playing on a couples bed minding our own business

Out of my eye line a woman (part of a couple we'd batted off earlier) simply clamped onto to my boob with both hands with an inane grin on her face.

I pulled a "WTAF are you doing face" and she shrugged her shoulders, let go and slid off the bed.

Not a word was exchanged.

Moral of the story. There are strange people in this swinging world and that's simply something you can't always avoid. It's how you manage it that matters.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"If you don't ask, you don't get

How pushy was he being though? Did he just ask if you would ever be up for it? Or was he really trying to push for a meet, even though you told him 'no' already?

Does it make a difference how pushy he was being or how he asked ? the rules are the rules and couples boundaries are the boundaries. no ?

Sarah x

If I was on here as a couple and a guy asked if he could meet my partner alone, I'd not be offended. But if I told him no and he kept asking, then I'd think that he was then taking the piss."

But I was clear from the start. I literally made a point of messaging to say never to ask me to meet alone and then again said it in person..Yet he did it anyway, do you see my point ? xx

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By *.hrisMan 15 weeks ago

Bath

But I was clear from the start. I literally made a point of messaging to say never to ask me to meet alone and then again said it in person..Yet he did it anyway, do you see my point ? xx "

Ah right, in that case fair enough then. Hopefully you then told him where to go!

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Not to make light of the situation (consent that is ) but I had a very odd experience in a club that still bemuses me.

Happily playing on a couples bed minding our own business

Out of my eye line a woman (part of a couple we'd batted off earlier) simply clamped onto to my boob with both hands with an inane grin on her face.

I pulled a "WTAF are you doing face" and she shrugged her shoulders, let go and slid off the bed.

Not a word was exchanged.

Moral of the story. There are strange people in this swinging world and that's simply something you can't always avoid. It's how you manage it that matters.

Hahahahaha... my husband and I are literally sat here laughing out loud. I'm sorry, I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time but what an amazing story !

The boobie grab and crazy look in her eye.

I feel like there is probably never a dull moment around you guys. Can we just stalk you around your next club meet ? haha. You really have cheered me up no end today, what an amazing pair xx

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By *ames250122Man 15 weeks ago

Worcester

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx"

Mmmmm, good question. I’m not sure why they would to be honest. Selfish desire over respecting you as a couples needs and boundaries is the only real reason I can think of I’m afraid. Sorry to hear how it turned out, I can imagine it very frustrating and upsetting for you both

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By *en_LadMan 15 weeks ago

Gateshead

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx"

Damn, his loss. He should feel lucky to share you with your husband. Absolutely out of line to ask to meet solo x

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx

It is, but he could have slept with me as a threesome, so why try to separate my husband and I? it's just crazy xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx

Damn, his loss. He should feel lucky to share you with your husband. Absolutely out of line to ask to meet solo x"

Thank you, we thought so too xx

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By *igNick1381Man 15 weeks ago

BRIDGEND

You'll always have people that want more, even when they clearly already have something amazing in their hands with you both

Great profile by the way, gutted you're so far away

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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago

Unfortunately they ruin it for the genuine guys on here that want to use the site for it's designed purpose

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By *hesubtlegentMan 15 weeks ago

surrey

Would couples consider it impolite if they were asked if they meet solo in the first few messages? I’ve never been with a couple but have been talking to a few and I have asked about solo meets to find out boundaries, not to be sneaky about. I address both when messaging but also read profiles so if they say they only play together then I wouldn’t ask. It’s only when it’s not in their profile and I usually ask who it was that sent the wink or message if they don’t say.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Would couples consider it impolite if they were asked if they meet solo in the first few messages? I’ve never been with a couple but have been talking to a few and I have asked about solo meets to find out boundaries, not to be sneaky about. I address both when messaging but also read profiles so if they say they only play together then I wouldn’t ask. It’s only when it’s not in their profile and I usually ask who it was that sent the wink or message if they don’t say. "

No, there is no issue with asking, if not boundaries have been set. My issues are that a clearly stated over message and in person that I will never meet alone snd never to asked to meet alone.

I wouldn't be offended if a guy asked me to meet alone before I stated that... I mean I'd still block him because I'm here as a couples profile with my husband, if I wanted to meet alone I'd be on a singles profile xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"You'll always have people that want more, even when they clearly already have something amazing in their hands with you both

Great profile by the way, gutted you're so far away "

We can't see your profile it's hidden, but your profile picture looks amazing from what we can see xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Unfortunately they ruin it for the genuine guys on here that want to use the site for it's designed purpose"

Exactly !!! finally a single guy who gets it xx

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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago

I just wish it wasn't that way because then we are all tared with the same brush , it's hard enough as it is the way some guys act makes me cringe

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"I just wish it wasn't that way because then we are all tared with the same brush , it's hard enough as it is the way some guys act makes me cringe "

We haven't let it change our perspective, just good to share with the community and get other women's/couples and guys experience and perspectives.

Thanks for the comment xx

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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago

That's really good to know not everyone let's the morons spoil it for the rest of us theirs hope yet !

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By (user no longer on site) 15 weeks ago

Agreed xx"

Should i be lucky enough to be invited to join a couple id play by their rules so hopefully id be invited back again, why the fuck would you ruin that by pushing for something that has already been ruled out unless your a prize twat!!!!

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By *moothdickMan 15 weeks ago

stoke

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx"

And that’s why some don’t know how to play the game ….

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx

And that’s why some don’t know how to play the game …. "

Agreed xx

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By *eyeYCouple 15 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

100%

We're a little tired of the disrespect shown to our relationship and to D specifically in this situation, but will hasten to add we've found similar from couples.

Experienced play where D was made to feel superfluous, chats where all conversation and attention was angled at Y, direct messages to her despite a group chat..

Party invites with no mention of D, frankly he's extremely intuitive and has called intentions from 'exclusive orientated' comments and messages from the start, said nothing and allowed them enough rope..

Amazing some guy's in couples aren't paranoid wrecks in this lifestyle and we are wholeheartedly behind your disgust at the disrespect shown to him and you as a couple! 😘👍

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"100%

We're a little tired of the disrespect shown to our relationship and to D specifically in this situation, but will hasten to add we've found similar from couples.

Experienced play where D was made to feel superfluous, chats where all conversation and attention was angled at Y, direct messages to her despite a group chat..

Amazing some guy's in couples aren't paranoid wrecks in this lifestyle and we are wholeheartedly behind your disgust at the disrespect shown to him and you as a couple! 😘👍"

Thank you for your support and confirmation that we are right to find it so disrespectful. Boundaries are set and made clear from the beginning, I guess for some, that is not enough and they believe the rules do not apply to them. I agree with you, we are getting a little tired of it also xx

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By *eyeYCouple 15 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

👍😘

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By *r K and Mrs LCouple 15 weeks ago

Leicester

The only time we would find it ok to do that would be for each of the partners meeting the other for FF going shopping and the MM going for a beer, and that would be a lot further down the line if we got on well enough and did vanilla things as we have been playing with another couple for a while and that’s what we do, it’s all about the respect then trust.

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By *rimals at PlayCouple 15 weeks ago

Manchester

"Unfortunately they ruin it for the genuine guys on here that want to use the site for it's designed purpose"

Not having a dig, but this is part of the problem. Single guys watching this behaviour say it's ruining it for them.

What about the couples? They've just opened up, let someone into an intimate, privileged scene and that person has disrespected that moment and them.

Every "genuine" message and every "respectful approach" at the club is now viewed with cynicism and you have to set your guard higher.

And then you read forum thread after forum thread with single males thinking they're the victims in this problem, that couples are entitled or rude for protecting themselves. Yet given an inch the same blokes push for a mile.

Not all single males are the problem - but most of the problems come from single males.

A tip of the cap to you single guys that remain respectful after the fun - we need more of your around.

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By (user no longer on site) OP 15 weeks ago

"Unfortunately they ruin it for the genuine guys on here that want to use the site for it's designed purpose

Not having a dig, but this is part of the problem. Single guys watching this behaviour say it's ruining it for them.

What about the couples? They've just opened up, let someone into an intimate, privileged scene and that person has disrespected that moment and them.

Every "genuine" message and every "respectful approach" at the club is now viewed with cynicism and you have to set your guard higher.

Not all single males are the problem - but most of the problems come from single males.

A tip of the cap to you single guys that remain respectful after the fun - we need more of your around."

Thank you for that. What a great post, you very much just expressed exactly how we are feeling xx

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By *uckslut and MCouple 15 weeks ago

Poole

We've been swinging a good while now. We find this, and pushing the boubdries before meets too.

We've done the, great chap that we've turned into a semi regualar. But then they bombard us morning, noon and night asking for repeate meets, or asking when is the next meet? We've then block. Work and vanilla life gets in the way.

My other pet hate is. For example we put up a meet, for example, she plays with her pussy, watches you wank, you cum bukkee in her mouth, then leave. No fucking or touching her.

They write to us, agreeing to meet. We start chatting, they then start with the chat, can I finger her? Can I fuck her? We then block.

Take what's on offer! Don't change it. It could be, I can't fully play that day. Or we're having a not being fully shared day. If they'd of stuck to the offer. They may of got more on the next meet. But they spoil it for themselves.

Take what's on offer.

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By *unning onCouple 15 weeks ago

leatherhead

This comes with the territory unfortunately, even more so with guys that Bex meets solo. She shows them a good time and they always want more, which is fine (and often desirable) but it has to be on our terms xx

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By *illiam26Man 15 weeks ago

Craigavon

"Why do some guys insist on pushing their luck ?

We had a threesome with a guy, had a great time, laughs great sex etc. We intended him to become someone we met up with regularly.

So my question is why would guys push their luck and spoil a good thing ? We won't be meeting him again.

Sarah xx"
so disappointing can he not just enjoy a good quality 3sum xx

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By *avexxMan 15 weeks ago

cheshire

men always pushy they just cant help themselfs

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