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THE DUKES 9 POINT GUIDE ON HOW TO BECOME GREAT JUST LIKE HIM.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Before this piece begins it must be stated that The Duke is aware the majority of swingers on here will be married with children. To become a truly world class swinger these inconvenience's must be abandoned immediately thus allowing you to finally operate on the level you so greatly seek.
The following nine points are all rigorously followed by The Duke himself and everyone who is a member of #TeamDuke. It is important to note that the act of sex itself will not be referred to, but instead, all nine points act as a guide for self improvement in every aspect of your life which in turn will morph you into a elite swinger just like The Duke.
1: House cleanliness & Etiquette.
After uncountable unsavoury visits to swinger homes, flats and caravans The Duke will only accommodate in his penthouse which meets his own hygienic standards. You have no excuses for an unmade bed, half nibbled bagels on bedside tables or clothes scattered across the floor. The Duke despairs at this slovenly swing scene behaviour and urges all hosting swingers to make sure your dwelling is immaculate throughout. Nothing needs to be provided for your guest except a bottle of cold water and a freshly pressed towel which they can use to wipe up the semen, vaginal juice's or blood after.
2: Grooming.
The Duke regularly visits a male grooming parlour and therefore no shaving items exist at Duke Towers. Nobody wants to see their host's hair riddled razor perched upon a cheap basin or bargain bin make up kits staining bathroom walls. Leave an aura of mystery about how you achieve your perfectly groomed and tanned appearance.
3: Fitness
Any swinger who has viewed The Dukes public pictures will have seen his perfectly sculpted physique. Incredible strength and muscles complemented with only 9% body fat. This allows for unrivaled stamina, a trait which is of vital importance for any world class swinger. To be as strong as The Duke you will need to start doing 200 press ups each week day morning instead of laying in bed playing with your sin stick. Then five times a week you will need to complete a 40 minutes weight lifting workout which includes body weight exercises and isometric contractions which will help you achieve The Dukes defined shredded look.
4: Diet.
Alcohol, excessive carbs and fatty foods must be eradicated from your diet immediately. To look and feel as great as The Duke start planning a diet based on white meats like turkey, fresh fruits and vegetable's and nuts. Consume pineapple everyday to make your semen taste delicious and add turmeric to all cooked foods. This will improve your circulation and results in harder thicker erections.
5: Mindfulness.
Unfortunately, it is not enough to have an amazing body and beautiful face. A strong, rested and focused mind is the greatest tool any swinger can possess. To achieve this you must practice the art of letting go. Meditate daily, at least 20 minute's a day and you will so come to a greater understanding of not only yourself, but those around you.
6: Pets.
Cats and dogs have no place in any true swinging home. Far to often a resentful canine has become aggressive to The Duke as he relentlessly pounded their master. In a previous posts The Duke has spoken how his rose-ringed parakeet sadly flew away after the selfish actions of one sloppy swinger. That bird was an exception since she left no fur on the floor nor sulked in the corner looking sly and menacing. The only animal's that now reside in Duke Towers are 6 red bellied piranha's which float happily about in their 12ft aquarium. To demonstrate who the true alpha is, The Duke fearlessly dipped his mighty penis inside the tank two weeks after purchase. Instead of attacking, the piranha slowly swam around the Duke's blessed penis in the ultimate show of respect. Therefore, in order to be just like The Duke you must discard any cats or dogs along with your wife, girlfriend, mistress and children.
7: Indoor Plants.
Some un-educated male swingers may argue that the lack of pet's, family reminders and sugary snack's may put off a female from surrendering herself before you. To counter this, you must create a leafy foliaged sanctuary. The Dukes prized possession is a flourishing Costa Rican rainforest plant. Tending to these plants not only proves you can look after things other that your own perfect body, but they also create a better oxygen flow in your dwelling. This will become important the more successful you become as after a few years the lingering scent of savaged baby box's becomes harder and harder to eradicate.
8: Musical choices.
Do not make the mistake of bowing to current trends and blast out drum&bass as your guests moves into Duke the bedroom. This will only put you in the negative light of one trying to hard. The Dukes personal preference is Roy Orbison, females guests will find themselves kneeling naked before The Duke sucking his massive penis a full two minutes and thirty seconds after arrival, the duration of Orbison's Only The Lonely.
9: Rejection
When you reach The Dukes level you will inevitably start attracting unsightly female swingers on a regular basis. Do not be afraid to banish these banged out cavernous orifices and beefy camel toe meat wallets. A truly world class swinger has no place eating from a shrivelled bearded clam or dodging drooping milk udders. You will find the more you govern your own terms and live in your own un-rivaled reality then other like minded swingers of excellent potential with naturally gravitate towards you.
Duke has spoken
#Duke
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh it's fine. He says he's had 10 years of successful swinging on his profile after banging on about all 19 verifications which he has. 19 verifications for 10 years swinging does seem too impressive to me. Obviously there will be more that aren't on fab but still he chimes on as if it's an unbeatable feat. After near 3 years of swinging we've had approx 16 meets. So I've got to say the guy is clearly deluded and strokes his own ego unnecessarily! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I enjoyed this one the most Sir Duke 
The high standards are way above mine (mostly the food bit - I'm never giving up red meat), I'll set my standards much lower. I know my place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting how the folk that used to circle jerk over the wittering of the Duke aren’t about anymore. A change of personnel seems to have brought about a change of reaction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting how the folk that used to circle jerk over the wittering of the Duke aren’t about anymore. A change of personnel seems to have brought about a change of reaction "
Still here babes! Don’t worry the #Duke fan club is stronger than ever!  |
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"Interesting how the folk that used to circle jerk over the wittering of the Duke aren’t about anymore. A change of personnel seems to have brought about a change of reaction
Still here babes! Don’t worry the #Duke fan club is stronger than ever! "
I’m in charge of his merchandise; Thus far I have T-shirts for the ladies (‘I’ve been Duked!’) ,commemorative mugs and special extra large condoms with the Duke logo down the side  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting how the folk that used to circle jerk over the wittering of the Duke aren’t about anymore. A change of personnel seems to have brought about a change of reaction
Still here babes! Don’t worry the #Duke fan club is stronger than ever! "
Checked a bunch of past threads and can’t see you on any of them until yesterday’s effort |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I’m in charge of his merchandise; Thus far I have T-shirts for the ladies (‘I’ve been Duked!’) ,commemorative mugs and special extra large condoms with the Duke logo down the side "
No good. My condoms need "I am most certainly not this Duke fellah" down the side. I will add my own logo at the end
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting how the folk that used to circle jerk over the wittering of the Duke aren’t about anymore. A change of personnel seems to have brought about a change of reaction "
I love the duke!!! |
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"
I’m in charge of his merchandise; Thus far I have T-shirts for the ladies (‘I’ve been Duked!’) ,commemorative mugs and special extra large condoms with the Duke logo down the side
No good. My condoms need "I am most certainly not this Duke fellah" down the side. I will add my own logo at the end
"
“I’ve been Chished” maybe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I’m in charge of his merchandise; Thus far I have T-shirts for the ladies (‘I’ve been Duked!’) ,commemorative mugs and special extra large condoms with the Duke logo down the side
No good. My condoms need "I am most certainly not this Duke fellah" down the side. I will add my own logo at the end
“I’ve been Chished” maybe "
What can a gentleman say?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting how the folk that used to circle jerk over the wittering of the Duke aren’t about anymore. A change of personnel seems to have brought about a change of reaction
I love the duke!!!"
I stand corrected
Most of the folk |
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"Oh it's fine. He says he's had 10 years of successful swinging on his profile after banging on about all 19 verifications which he has. 19 verifications for 10 years swinging does seem too impressive to me. Obviously there will be more that aren't on fab but still he chimes on as if it's an unbeatable feat. After near 3 years of swinging we've had approx 16 meets. So I've got to say the guy is clearly deluded and strokes his own ego unnecessarily!"
I would guess his somewhat paltry number of verifications is more to do with the quality of women on fab rather than his ability to attract them . His standards are very exacting as you can see from his post . Only a very small % would meet his standards .
Hail the Duke  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting how the folk that used to circle jerk over the wittering of the Duke aren’t about anymore. A change of personnel seems to have brought about a change of reaction
Still here babes! Don’t worry the #Duke fan club is stronger than ever!
Checked a bunch of past threads and can’t see you on any of them until yesterday’s effort "
Actions speak louder than words my friend and I’ve been fan-girling the Duke since 1989  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Interesting how the folk that used to circle jerk over the wittering of the Duke aren’t about anymore. A change of personnel seems to have brought about a change of reaction
Still here babes! Don’t worry the #Duke fan club is stronger than ever!
Checked a bunch of past threads and can’t see you on any of them until yesterday’s effort
Actions speak louder than words my friend and I’ve been fan-girling the Duke since 1989 "
That explains a lot - related are you? Or you were on the same ward at birth? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Where's the duchess... I'm more interested in fucking her..
Duchess Jersey Kitten resides in the west wing of Duke Towers. "
So you have a partner and this isn't mentioned in either of your profiles. Hmm how very honest. And you lecture us about your 'High Standards'. And you write each other Verifications? Does the site know?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Cats and dogs have no place in any true swinging home. Far to often a resentful canine has become aggressive to The Duke as he relentlessly pounded their master"
now I know the OP is Bi but I am not sure why this should be a rule for everyone. Pounding these pets' 'master' might appeal to some but not all. I for example prefer pounding their Mistress. So I guess I have failed the detailed test ...
Does my face look bovvered?.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Where's the duchess... I'm more interested in fucking her..
Duchess Jersey Kitten resides in the west wing of Duke Towers.
So you have a partner and this isn't mentioned in either of your profiles. Hmm how very honest. And you lecture us about your 'High Standards'. And you write each other Verifications? Does the site know?
"
I’m genuinely not 100% sure if I’ve made the final cut yet. But I have put the dog in kennels |
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