FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ever fallen out with....
Ever fallen out with....
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 5 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
Someone on here?
Let's just say you met someone, all good and all going well for a few months. You meet up a few times and even go as far as going to clubs together.
All seems too good to be true
But then something happens and he/she pulls away and just stops talking to you... (dismissive avoidant personality type) and then carries on regardless like things never mattered.
Had this happened to you? How did it make you feel? What did your do?
Just curious really to get other people's takes and experiences on this, or similar |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don’t think I’d class that as falling out.
If we’ve been getting on really well? It would hurt. But I’m also aware that some people don’t handle emotions or relationships (of any kind) well. So I’d let the dust settle and move on.
Mrs TMN x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There’s been a few questionable things happen, but that’s just people.
One person who I was getting on with really well thought I was a catfish and it really, really offended me. It annoys me because they were really nice but I just don’t understand why they did what they did. I’d still talk to them but I’ve no interest in meeting them now.
I think people are odd and can be very strange in the decision they make.
When someone ghosts it’s often due to their own insecurities more than anything else, so don’t take it to heart. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 5 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"There’s been a few questionable things happen, but that’s just people.
One person who I was getting on with really well thought I was a catfish and it really, really offended me. It annoys me because they were really nice but I just don’t understand why they did what they did. I’d still talk to them but I’ve no interest in meeting them now.
I think people are odd and can be very strange in the decision they make.
When someone ghosts it’s often due to their own insecurities more than anything else, so don’t take it to heart. "
Non taken to heart. It's easy to think it's you or that you have done something wrong.
But in fact, it's them and their own issues and boundaries.
We pick up, we move on. It's just a shame when that person seemed to make everything better and make you feel good about your life, especially after you've had years of problems. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There’s been a few questionable things happen, but that’s just people.
One person who I was getting on with really well thought I was a catfish and it really, really offended me. It annoys me because they were really nice but I just don’t understand why they did what they did. I’d still talk to them but I’ve no interest in meeting them now.
I think people are odd and can be very strange in the decision they make.
When someone ghosts it’s often due to their own insecurities more than anything else, so don’t take it to heart.
Non taken to heart. It's easy to think it's you or that you have done something wrong.
But in fact, it's them and their own issues and boundaries.
We pick up, we move on. It's just a shame when that person seemed to make everything better and make you feel good about your life, especially after you've had years of problems. "
I’m sorry to hear that, I really am. But like you say, it’s not anything you’ve done. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes was talking to a couple on here meet a few times then moved the conversation to a different platform had to cancel next meet at short notice due to a sudden death of family member but the male half of couple became very abusive and very nasty ended up with police involved |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *mf123Man 5 weeks ago
with one foot out the door |
Not so much fallen out with cos i dont really see a point in that but the pull away thing yeah its usually cos im too lovable tho i see the reasoning and its shit at the time i learned i dont react well to it thats why they cannot have my penis |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Of the people I've met no. They've either been one off meets, grown into fb's or long term fwb. The one off's and fb's, for the most, I didn't have a deep relationship with - just conversations on this and that but nothing really personal.
A few months and a few meets isn't that long so if something happened to stop them communicating, you likely know the reason, maybe they didn't think there was much of a connection or that much of the relationship? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
|
I wouldn't be especially arsed about it although I've not had it happen so maybe I'll feel different.
I was chatting to someone and we'd agreed to a social but then it all went quiet. But people change their minds and don't owe me anything so c'est la vie. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Things end, sometimes amicably, sometimes not. I tend to just block and move on. I have no interest in dirty chat or suchlike after the fact. What’s done is done….onward! "
Onwards and upwards I say |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago
|
You aren't in a relationship right? People on here are so quick to read more into things, you get on, great. Maybe that's just as deep as it gets for them, it doesn't mean anything. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'd suggest reading some of the messages you send and see if you feel your attitude deserves a response.
I predict you may need to alter things. "
Some people do just go cold, it could be for anything - time, someone else, different outlooks, different views, sending/reading a message wrongly.. nothing goes to plan all the time but being left hanging is a pain. As others have said, just move on if there's no response. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I saw someone from here for nearly two years who claimed to be single. Until his wife showed up screaming on my doorstep.
He genuinely seemed confused with the "but why would you give this up just because of one lie?" (Spoiler alert, it takes more than one lie to keep that big one afloat for that long.)
He still finds ways to try and convince me it wasn't that bad. As if the wife was the only issue and not the outright lying to me for years. It's amazing the absolute delusion some people must have. "I never overstep boundaries" after being told multiple times to not contact me being a solid favourite.
So, maybe you fucked up or are delusional too.
Or maybe it's just not that deep. They found someone they liked more and thought of your situation as a lot more casual than you did.
It sucks. But some people do just suck 💜 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've fallen out with people who made unreasonable demands and refused to listen to anything I said that didn't fit their own agenda.
On one occasion I hid my profile and didn't log in for over a year because of the drama they created.
In a more recent case I simply unfriended and ghosted someone I wrongly believed was a friend but who only wanted to use my friendship and my personal info to ingratiate herself with others.
I refuse to enable people like that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I met someone on a site got on great we had a couples profile on here went to clubs spoke every day. 18 months later he just cut himself off. It really messed my head up tbh because right up until then we got on great. I think it’s a shitty thing today when you’ve been friends for so long and I don’t think some understand how much it fucks you up. I don’t get close to anyone now in case it happens again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Ooh a bit of attachment theory.
It all really depends on the relationship really, what's the level of commitment and involvement have boundaries been discussed.
I the circumstances you describe then, it would probably suck a bit, but hey it ain't the end of the world.
I think too often people don't have the conversations and it's just left to luck if their ideas of the relationship correlate. Then you could argue some people will just say what they think you want to hear or be insincere and so on, so what's the point.
I just look at it like if I am straight up about it and willing to have the conversation that's the best I can do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes. I’m not going to reveal any details (protect the innocent etc.) but it kicked off over some weird interpretation of a particular message whilst discussing attending a party together.
A real WTF moment, tried to fix but ultimately had to block. A couple months later heard this lady had to be kicked out of a hotel takeover due to her behaviour so a bullet dodged I reckon. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Life changes though. It's rubbish is someone doesn't give a clear answer as to why, but maybe they either can't or don't want to.
No point in worrying about the what ifs though. If you've done something that you feel would have warranted upsetting them, then you know the reason why. If you haven't, then maybe they only know their reason why... But it's a them issue not a you issue  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *cedGemWoman 5 weeks ago
your dreams |
"Someone on here?
Let's just say you met someone, all good and all going well for a few months. You meet up a few times and even go as far as going to clubs together.
All seems too good to be true
But then something happens and he/she pulls away and just stops talking to you... (dismissive avoidant personality type) and then carries on regardless like things never mattered.
Had this happened to you? How did it make you feel? What did your do?
Just curious really to get other people's takes and experiences on this, or similar"
Yeah this happened to me very recently,it was fun while it lasted but getting dropped suddenly was a kick in the teeth...more for the fact I actually thought we were friends.
But we live & learn don't we x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 5 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
" Yeah this happened to me very recently,it was fun while it lasted but getting dropped suddenly was a kick in the teeth...more for the fact I actually thought we were friends.
But we live & learn don't we x"
Yeah this is a similar kind of thing.
To me, it's not so much of the wanting it to carry on or wanting them back... which don't get me wrong, if I could go back in time or push a big reset button... I would...
Bit it's the confusion of that you thought you meant something to someone and people can just switch off so easily and detach.. like it was nothing.
I'm not saying it was a full blown relationship, yes I caught feels, but it's just about feeling like you meant something, and clearing up that muddled confusion where you're just left in the dark. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes, have a few "falling out"s with people on here. One I should have never met, he told me he was friends with another guy I was seeing occasionally (failed to mention the "friends" part was online only) which made me lower my guard. We got on well enough to meet a couple of times. Then, eventually, he told me he had a gf! That he did not mention sooner as he knew it would have been a deal breaker then- it was, and he knew that. He still tried to message me after a few months, wanting to meet and hoping I changed my mind, and got very upset when I told him I was not interested. He did get blocked straight after.
Then there was another guy, he took me to my first ever club. He was also happy to "take over" looking after me in the club when whoever I was with had to leave. One day, we arranged to go to the club together. He left me in the middle of the club and disappeared somewhere - he told me he was just going to take his jacket to the car. A member of staff found him for me later (we were sharing the locker, and he was well known in the club)- the drive home, in total silence, was extremely uncomfortable. Needless to say, I never met him again, and whenever I saw him in my local club, I was pretending he didn't exist. He is also the reason I always get my own locker nowadays. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm sorry to hear that... those sound like rather awkward experiences "
Those were two the worst ones that I could remember. It also happens that things just fizzle out, people change, circumstances change. But yes, particularly the club experience, that was no fun. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
But even more annoying is when someone just ghosts you for a while, then suddenly message and want everything to be back to the point from before the ghosting/lack of contact time. Erm, life doesn't work that way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not a wise thing to discuss here.
Yes it happens. It's best dealt with privately."
I agree with this (dirty laundry in public and all that). I was going to DM you OP with some thoughts and my take on this, but your filters prevent. Feel free to message if you're still trying to brainstorm 🙂 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 4 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"Not a wise thing to discuss here.
Yes it happens. It's best dealt with privately.
I agree with this (dirty laundry in public and all that). I was going to DM you OP with some thoughts and my take on this, but your filters prevent. Feel free to message if you're still trying to brainstorm 🙂"
Thank you mate, I'm OK really, just perturbed.. it wasn't so much as 'dirty laundry' as there are no names and it's anonymous. Just describing a situation that maybe some people can relate to if they've ever found themselves in this position. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thank you mate, I'm OK really, just perturbed.. it wasn't so much as 'dirty laundry' as there are no names and it's anonymous. Just describing a situation that maybe some people can relate to if they've ever found themselves in this position. "
'perturbed', a very good way of putting it! I know the feeling well, yes can relate 😟 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Someone on here?
Let's just say you met someone, all good and all going well for a few months. You meet up a few times and even go as far as going to clubs together.
All seems too good to be true
But then something happens and he/she pulls away and just stops talking to you... (dismissive avoidant personality type) and then carries on regardless like things never mattered.
Had this happened to you? How did it make you feel? What did your do?
Just curious really to get other people's takes and experiences on this, or similar"
Hmmm this seems oddly specific. There are multiple ways of falling out with someone - but you chose one specific scenario (also one which lays blame on the other person).
Are you referring to something that’s happened to you? Is this an attempt at getting their attention? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 4 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"
Are you referring to something that’s happened to you? Is this an attempt at getting their attention?"
It is something that's happened to me so yes, oddly specific. But no, not trying to get attention. Just cathatically sharing an experience to clear my own mind. But also, to find out whether I'm alone in this type of scenario and whether people can relate. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I've kinda discussed this in various catfish/catfishing threads but will repeat here. I was a member of a latex appreciation group on another platform. When someone took a liking to me. They were the ones pushing and suggesting we meet. We chatted privately for nearly two years.(a meet would be awkward as we both lived quite a distance and led busy lives). Though every time I tried to arrange a meet they cried off. But still chatted regularly. To cut along story short. They ended ghosting me then finally blocking me. Thing that annoyed me is the lost time. And I don't know for definite if I was catfish or it just didn't work out. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *_Mr.K_x OP Man 4 weeks ago
North Worcestershire |
"I've kinda discussed this in various catfish/catfishing threads but will repeat here. I was a member of a latex appreciation group on another platform. When someone took a liking to me. They were the ones pushing and suggesting we meet. We chatted privately for nearly two years.(a meet would be awkward as we both lived quite a distance and led busy lives). Though every time I tried to arrange a meet they cried off. But still chatted regularly. To cut along story short. They ended ghosting me then finally blocking me. Thing that annoyed me is the lost time. And I don't know for definite if I was catfish or it just didn't work out. "
Lost time is a big big factor. Like, how you can go from being something...to nothing.
I saw a quote which made me howl with laughter. It went:-
"From cream pies to no replies" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've kinda discussed this in various catfish/catfishing threads but will repeat here. I was a member of a latex appreciation group on another platform. When someone took a liking to me. They were the ones pushing and suggesting we meet. We chatted privately for nearly two years.(a meet would be awkward as we both lived quite a distance and led busy lives). Though every time I tried to arrange a meet they cried off. But still chatted regularly. To cut along story short. They ended ghosting me then finally blocking me. Thing that annoyed me is the lost time. And I don't know for definite if I was catfish or it just didn't work out.
Lost time is a big big factor. Like, how you can go from being something...to nothing.
I saw a quote which made me howl with laughter. It went:-
"From cream pies to no replies""
👍🤣 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yeah happend a few months back we actually had met about 3 times during the week for over a month with weekends spent..in bliss..planned a trip away and suddenly he was getting depressed over an ex..I stated her loss and how well things were going and he said he needed time as he felt he'd be hurt again...
I'm not his ex and how do you turn a time of greatness into giving way to someone who hurt you...anyways blocked deleted and just call it a part of fab dreamers afraid of real reality. Many simply need therapy not pussy or dick. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Some people can pretend to be someone different and for a longer period especially when sex is involved. If I've ever had genuine care for someone then I don't regret the relationship we had, I just take the lesson, wish them well and move forward. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yeah happend a few months back we actually had met about 3 times during the week for over a month with weekends spent..in bliss..planned a trip away and suddenly he was getting depressed over an ex..I stated her loss and how well things were going and he said he needed time as he felt he'd be hurt again...
I'm not his ex and how do you turn a time of greatness into giving way to someone who hurt you...anyways blocked deleted and just call it a part of fab dreamers afraid of real reality. Many simply need therapy not pussy or dick."
They don’t need therapy. This is just the nature of relationships. It doesn’t always work out. We can’t always control others feelings. It’s not worth getting angry at someone or blaming them for how they feel.
Accepting rejection is a part of life. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The only ones that spring to mind are a couple who sitting in my lounge, wanted to use one of houses for their entertainment without me being there, and a guy who got arsey because I wouldn't let him use a house for a gang bang as I had my mum to see to. Needless to say I haven't lost a lot of sleep over either of them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *tr8MrEMan 4 weeks ago
Shireoaks, Worksop |
If you've met in real.life, can you really class it as "falling out with someone on Fab"
Now if it is just Fab people per se, then yes, daily...it's very easy, it's all down to miss interpreted messages. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
mao@u
