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Sex and unexpected body functions
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Have you ever yawned during sex? Did you get grief for it?
Have you ever sneezed on someone’s face/bits?
Did you fart while they were ‘down there’? Was it a corker and properly stink?
Did you ever get a bout of hiccups?
Spill all here (just not your body juices) |
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I don't know how true as I can thankfully say it did not happen to me.
However brace yourselves...
My mate told me once, he and his now ex were at it, she was on top and getting pretty close then suddenly... Shit. Shit everywhere. |
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Bodies do silly things sometimes. But sex should be fun. A little laughter break now and again isn't a bad thing.
I remember one time I was giving head and he was almost there, then he suddenly pulled my head away and I thought he was just trying to stop me getting to swallow his cum, so I fought to stay. And the stubbornness made him laugh, which pushed out the incredibly raucous fart he was holding in that had caused him to try and pull my head away.
We had to stop for quite a while to let the laughter subside, and to burn some incense before returning to the room 💜 |
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By *enelope2UWoman 11 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
Yeah a few of those 🤣🤣
I've burped while giving a BJ.
I've had spells of hiccups while he was doing oral and he stopped got me a drink and carried on.
I've tapped out and fell asleep waking up To him smiling earlier to ear.
Fucking who you also enjoy being around has it's perks it just becomes another story to laugh about.
Plus too many other more traumatic bodily fluids issues to post. All still funny though |
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For me. Have been farted on during 69.
Best I've heard first hand; a wife was guiding her hubby into the ass of their female playmate. He withdrew and put came a pooball nestled on/around his cock. They both looked at each other, she flicked it off and it stuck on the TV. |
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Had a girl riding up on top who suddenly stiffened and cried out .. I pompously assumed she was in mid throws of a fantastic orgasm...turned out she had cramp in both legs  ... made a right old fuss about it too .... |
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By *vaRose43Woman 11 weeks ago
Forest of Dean |
Let’s see
Yes, I’m afraid I’ve farted. Luckily not on someone’s face and at the time I was in the middle of climax
Queefs happen
I’ve also definitely fallen asleep in the past… and yes I snore
So…. Line up boys. What a catch 🤣 |
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"I don't know how true as I can thankfully say it did not happen to me.
However brace yourselves...
My mate told me once, he and his now ex were at it, she was on top and getting pretty close then suddenly... Shit. Shit everywhere. "
I wanted to forget this moment but yes I was gifted the ice cream cone of bleghhh before 🤢 |
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By (user no longer on site) 11 weeks ago
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"I regurgitated some tuna, mayo sandwich onto a penis I was deep throating. Tasted awful and he had to shower straight away."
I bet he smiles when he walks past them now whilst choosing the meal deal of the day |
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If you knock on poos door long enough, don't be surprised if one day he answers.
All jokes aside, it happens we're all, well most of us, humans. Make light of it have a laugh then carry on. Never make someone feel bad. |
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An ex pissed in my mouth at the point he thought he was reaching orgasm. Vile 
Plenty of queefs and suchlike.
I get hip and leg cramps fairly frequently.
There was definitely a poo related incident relating to a DP scenario too  |
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The first time I gave an assertive male a really deep rimming, I was so worked up and horny that I prematurely shot my load untouched! I was so aroused as my tongue penetrated his wet flexing ring, deeper and deeper that I lost control and spurted all over my stomach! |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 11 weeks ago
Trowbridge |
"Had a girl riding up on top who suddenly stiffened and cried out .. I pompously assumed she was in mid throws of a fantastic orgasm...turned out she had cramp in both legs ... made a right old fuss about it too .... "
That’s so painful, I’ve had that a few times |
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"I don't know how true as I can thankfully say it did not happen to me.
However brace yourselves...
My mate told me once, he and his now ex were at it, she was on top and getting pretty close then suddenly... Shit. Shit everywhere. "
That’s happened to me twice 🤣🤣🫣 managed to laugh it off with both women promising to keep it a secret |
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By *ornycougaWoman 11 weeks ago
MADERIA Wherever I lay my hat |
"I’ve had cramp quite a few times. I did fall asleep once while she was giving me head. I was insanely tired and had a few too many drinks.
"
I have fallen asleep whilst giving head. I was insanely tired and had a few too many drinks. |
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Oh noooo 🤣
