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Shit poems

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By *ee69 OP   Man 5 weeks ago

glasgow

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Brand over nice

A git something for you

It’s no big , no clever

But the motions good and will fill you like a river !

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By *he ExcaliburMan 5 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Dig Dig Dig

Dig Dig Dig, Dig Dig

Dig Dig Dig

Dig Dig Dig, Dig Dig Dig

It’s not my best poem, but it’s very deep

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 5 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I really need a handjob

But it's gotta come from you.

Not to anyone specific mind.

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By *rSircumsizedMan 5 weeks ago

Risca

[Removed by poster at 23/10/24 13:49:06]

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By *rSircumsizedMan 5 weeks ago

Risca


"There was a young man from Leeds,

Who swallowed a packet of seeds,

In under an hour,

His cock was a flower,

And his pubes were a bundle of w*eds."

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By *ee69 OP   Man 5 weeks ago

glasgow


"Dig Dig Dig

Dig Dig Dig, Dig Dig

Dig Dig Dig

Dig Dig Dig, Dig Dig Dig

It’s not my best poem, but it’s very deep"

Truly delving deeply in to your soul

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By *ee69 OP   Man 5 weeks ago

glasgow

You better not scream

You better not cry

Bite on your sheets

Daddy’s going in dry !

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple 5 weeks ago

Leeds

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Sit on my face

I'll tongue fuck you.

Gets all the ladies that does.

Mrs

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By *odgerMooreMan 5 weeks ago

Carlisle

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Ive jizzed in your handbag

While you’re in the loo

Lost count of how many times that’s got me laid….

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By *ee69 OP   Man 5 weeks ago

glasgow


"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Sit on my face

I'll tongue fuck you.

Gets all the ladies that does.

Mrs "

Love it

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By *ildTimes777Man 5 weeks ago

Colchester/London

Roses are okay,

Violets are fine,

You be the 6

I'll be the 9.

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

Here come the highland grannies, great big tits and hairy fannys

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By *TinRedCouple 5 weeks ago

Reading

T's got a round bum,

It means lots of fun,

I love to fuck it hard, and pump it with cum

You're welcome 🤛

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 5 weeks ago

St Leonards

I have a dick

You have a fanny

It's even been washed

Since fucking your granny

So sit on it now

And squelch, squelch away

Coz just like your gran

You'll thank me some day 💋💋.

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By *ensuallover1000Man 5 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I have a dick

You have a fanny

It's even been washed

Since fucking your granny

So sit on it now

And squelch, squelch away

Coz just like your gran

You'll thank me some day 💋💋.

"

Ahhh a beautiful William Wordsworth, lost classic there 😜

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 5 weeks ago

St Leonards


"I have a dick

You have a fanny

It's even been washed

Since fucking your granny

So sit on it now

And squelch, squelch away

Coz just like your gran

You'll thank me some day 💋💋.

Ahhh a beautiful William Wordsworth, lost classic there 😜"

I taught him everything he never wanted to know .

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By *hat.coupleCouple 5 weeks ago

Dartford

Rose are red, violets are blue, poems don't have to rhyme. Purple

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

I'm shit at poems,

Nice tits.

🦇

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By *he Silver FuxMan 5 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

Shitty day at work

It’s getting time for naughtiness, some really kinky play

let's get out all the toys tonight, I've been needing it all day

Sitting at my desk at work, filthy thoughts are on my brain,

I had some really naughty thoughts of you whilst on my homebound train

I know you're already there, teasing picture of red lace,

I couldn't say I ran home but I certainly walked with pace

The anticipation was building I felt it throbbing down below,

I walked with hand in pocket making sure it did not show

Ages for the door to open, but once I got inside, I pinned you back against the door and forced your legs to open wide

One hand down your knickers, fingers circling your clit,

my fingers soon were soaking wet from the juices from your slit

An exhausting night of debauchery, a cum smeared little smirk,

you know how much I needed you, my shitty day at work

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 5 weeks ago

St Leonards

This Love is ablaze

This Love's never meek

But why, when entwined,

Dost thou cunt make a squeak?

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By *lay 4 your plessureMan 5 weeks ago

Wigan

Roses are red, violets are red, everyone around me are either bleeding or dead

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By *ee69 OP   Man 5 weeks ago

glasgow

Had a nice giggle at all these , cheers me up ta lol

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By *iss KinkWoman 5 weeks ago

North West

Roses are red

I’m in my bed

Bring me wine

Or I will drop down dead

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By *rthur30Man 5 weeks ago

Warrington

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er dale and hill

When all at once I came across

A receptive woman on the pill.

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By *CExeCouple 5 weeks ago

Lincoln/Exeter

There was a young lady from Ealing,

Who had a peculiar feeling,

She lay on her back,

And opened her crack,

And pissed all over the ceiling.

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By *ildTimes777Man 5 weeks ago

Colchester/London


"There was a young lady from Ealing,

Who had a peculiar feeling,

She lay on her back,

And opened her crack,

And pissed all over the ceiling. "

Think they call that squirting nowadays....lol

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 5 weeks ago

St Leonards


"There was a young lady from Ealing,

Who had a peculiar feeling,

She lay on her back,

And opened her crack,

And pissed all over the ceiling. "

The night was young

The moon, beguiling

She opened her legs

And her crack was smiling

😘

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple 5 weeks ago

Ryde

One I remember from Police Squad!

"Roses are red, I'm gonna' break your face".

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By *rAitchMan 5 weeks ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

There was a yoing woman from Bude

Who went for a swim in a lake

A bloke in a punt

Stuck his pole up her nose

And said, "you can't swim here, it's private".

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By *layfullsamMan 5 weeks ago

Solihull

Roses are flowers

I’m rubbish at poems

Sam

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By *rthur30Man 5 weeks ago

Warrington

Roses are red,

Violets are blue

I've cum in my pants

Thinking of you.

Basil is green

And oh so mellow.

When I'm with you

I'm a lucky fellow.

Shall I compare you

To a summers day?

Get you kit off

So we can play.

How to choose

A rhyming scheme?

That'll make you laugh

Or make you scream.

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By *londebiguyMan 5 weeks ago

Southport


"Roses are red

Violets are blue

Ive jizzed in your handbag

While you’re in the loo

Lost count of how many times that’s got me laid…. "

Sounds legit that

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By *rthur30Man 5 weeks ago

Warrington

OK, you've suffered enough! Last one...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who's the fairest of them all?"

"Definitely not you", said a spiteful wall

For you look like a gargoyle and your dicks too small.

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 5 weeks ago

St Leonards


"OK, you've suffered enough! Last one...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who's the fairest of them all?"

"Definitely not you", said a spiteful wall

For you look like a gargoyle and your dicks too small."

Hey - it's poetry! Endless suffering is in the contract .

Nice work too - I guffawed at yours quite a lot .

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By *rthur30Man 5 weeks ago

Warrington


"OK, you've suffered enough! Last one...

"Mirror, mirror on the wall

Who's the fairest of them all?"

"Definitely not you", said a spiteful wall

For you look like a gargoyle and your dicks too small.

Hey - it's poetry! Endless suffering is in the contract .

Indeed! Thanks for the compliment.

Nice work too - I guffawed at yours quite a lot ."

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman 5 weeks ago

North West

Mary had a little lamb,

It played beneath a pylon,

10,000 volts shot up it's bum,

And turned it's wool to nylon.

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 5 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"Mary had a little lamb,

It played beneath a pylon,

10,000 volts shot up it's bum,

And turned it's wool to nylon. "

🤣.

3rd line is good.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman 5 weeks ago

North West

Roses are red,

Roses are thorny,

You and your cock,

Make me feel horny.

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan 5 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"Roses are red,

Roses are thorny,

You and your cock,

Make me feel horny. "

🤣

This is just straight to the point.

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By *r John WickMan 5 weeks ago

The Continental

My name is John Wick

I have no big dick

My rhymes is not tight

except for tonight

For I would bust a big nut

If you would glaze my face just like a donut.

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By *tevieboyyyMan 5 weeks ago

Waterlooville

Roses are Red,

Violets are Blue,

I've got the clap,

Now so have you!

(Never had unsafe sex!)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman 5 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Once I had a little shit

It sat upon my hand

It was the happiest of all the shits

From all across the land

I took it with me everywhere

And everybody cheered

Except the ones that don't like shit

But they are fucking weird

One day my shit dried up and died

And I did too a bit

And now I sit and think about

My favourite little shit

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By *inky_couple2020Couple 5 weeks ago

North West

There was an old codger from Devizes,

Whose todger refused to arise(s).

He gave it a whack,

With a flat willow bat.

And will Monday appear at th' Assizes

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 5 weeks ago

St Leonards

Granny - if that's your own work I am mightily impressed.

And if it's someone else's work I'm equally impressed by them.

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

Willy was limp

Viagra is blue

Swallowed the pill

Then the limp grew

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman 5 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"Granny - if that's your own work I am mightily impressed.

And if it's someone else's work I'm equally impressed by them."

Nicky - If that is you typing that then I find it highly patronising, lacking in grace and indicative of prior assumption based on very little.

If it isn't you typing that then , 'hey tnanks babe'

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple 5 weeks ago

Leeds

Roses are red

Oil is black

Bend over bitch

And let me smash the fuck out of your crack.

The mr

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By *8on33Man 5 weeks ago

winfrith


"Once I had a little shit

It sat upon my hand

It was the happiest of all the shits

From all across the land

I took it with me everywhere

And everybody cheered

Except the ones that don't like shit

But they are fucking weird

One day my shit dried up and died

And I did too a bit

And now I sit and think about

My favourite little shit "

Was it an ex ?

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan 5 weeks ago

St Leonards


"Granny - if that's your own work I am mightily impressed.

And if it's someone else's work I'm equally impressed by them.

Nicky - If that is you typing that then I find it highly patronising, lacking in grace and indicative of prior assumption based on very little.

If it isn't you typing that then , 'hey tnanks babe' "

Awwww...thanks Granny.

It was all me x

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By *odgerMooreMan 5 weeks ago

Carlisle

Some ladies like diamonds

They call them ‘ the rocks’

Now sit on my face

While I tonguepunch your fartbox

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By *orthern_knobberMan 5 weeks ago

manchester

Roses are red

Lilly’s are white

Most people on here

Are full of shite

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman 5 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"Once I had a little shit

It sat upon my hand

It was the happiest of all the shits

From all across the land

I took it with me everywhere

And everybody cheered

Except the ones that don't like shit

But they are fucking weird

One day my shit dried up and died

And I did too a bit

And now I sit and think about

My favourite little shit Was it an ex ?"

No.

It was a Shit Poem, like what we was aksed for

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By *8on33Man 5 weeks ago

winfrith


"Once I had a little shit

It sat upon my hand

It was the happiest of all the shits

From all across the land

I took it with me everywhere

And everybody cheered

Except the ones that don't like shit

But they are fucking weird

One day my shit dried up and died

And I did too a bit

And now I sit and think about

My favourite little shit Was it an ex ?

No.

It was a Shit Poem, like what we was aksed for "

Sorry I just don't do poetry even shit poetry .

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By *ee69 OP   Man 5 weeks ago

glasgow

You better no scream

You better no cry

I’m telling you why

Daddy going in dry

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By *enk15Man 5 weeks ago

Evesham

My pictures bring all the boys to the yard.

And they're like "You're making me hard"

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By *olinOfBathMan 5 weeks ago

Corsham

Rose's are red,

Violet's are too,

If you want red knickers,

I've still got a few.

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By (user no longer on site) 5 weeks ago

I get head in the strangest places

Two at the same time, call it changing faces

I tell a girl, we ain't trading places

Now stand back and catch my amazing graces

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By *ny1localMan 5 weeks ago

READING

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high over vales and hills

When all at once I saw a crowd

More f..king daffodils.

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By *ee69 OP   Man 5 weeks ago

glasgow


"Rose's are red,

Violet's are too,

If you want red knickers,

I've still got a few."

Short but sweet

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By *inell1Man 5 weeks ago

Ipswich

The boy stood on a burning deck

His feet covered in blisters

He put his finger up his bum

And another one up his sister's

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By *inky_couple2020Couple 5 weeks ago

North West


"Roses are red

Oil is black

Bend over bitch

And let me smash the fuck out of your crack.

The mr "

I don't like this one.

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By *ister_ee_1981Man 5 weeks ago

Sunniest Exeter...

Roses are red,

violets are blue,

Some poems rhyme,

This one doesn't

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