"Gonna repsot as I apparently cant spell today.
Depends on the type but not long, infact I've probably gone through a couple of boxes in a day.
Especially dairy trays.
And black magic is nice too.
"
I really really need to stop typing so fast.... |
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By *929Man 8 weeks ago
newcastle |
Ages if left to me, my daughter would destroy it in a day or less if she found it, never been big on chocolate family stopped getting me eggs at Easter from a young age as they were still on the wall unit come Christmas |
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By *aven. OP Woman 8 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
"I need more information to give an accurate answer.
What box of chocolates?
How many grams is the box?
Who knows I have said box of chocolates?
Am I bulking?
There’s too many variables."
Some rather tasty swiss ones from m&s ( other supermarkets are available)
|
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"I need more information to give an accurate answer.
What box of chocolates?
How many grams is the box?
Who knows I have said box of chocolates?
Am I bulking?
There’s too many variables.
Some rather tasty swiss ones from m&s ( other supermarkets are available)
"
I’ll assume the answer the rest of the questions was yes.
2 hours max. I am fat though and even for the month a year that I’m not that fat I still have the inner fat kid making me eat stuff I shouldn’t. |
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By *aven. OP Woman 8 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
"I need more information to give an accurate answer.
What box of chocolates?
How many grams is the box?
Who knows I have said box of chocolates?
Am I bulking?
There’s too many variables.
Some rather tasty swiss ones from m&s ( other supermarkets are available)
I’ll assume the answer the rest of the questions was yes.
2 hours max. I am fat though and even for the month a year that I’m not that fat I still have the inner fat kid making me eat stuff I shouldn’t."
I couldn't be bothered to answer the rest to be honest.
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By *aven. OP Woman 8 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
"How big is a box?! 
Definitely not big enough to share.
Then scoff 'em quick, whilst watching a box set and drinking coffee!"
Well we'll swap coffee for wine, it's a bit late, but that's the plan!
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Depends on how big the box is and what chocolates.
Is it a box of milk tray that some gentlemen in a suit climbed through your window and left on your bed side table or a hench box of quality streets they bought at home bargains?
I can tell you some ferrero rochers would be getting inhaled in about 2 mins. |
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By *aven. OP Woman 8 weeks ago
Not the North West... |
"Depends on how big the box is and what chocolates.
Is it a box of milk tray that some gentlemen in a suit climbed through your window and left on your bed side table or a hench box of quality streets they bought at home bargains?
I can tell you some ferrero rochers would be getting inhaled in about 2 mins."
M&s finest my dear! |
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"I need more information to give an accurate answer.
What box of chocolates?
How many grams is the box?
Who knows I have said box of chocolates?
Am I bulking?
There’s too many variables.
Some rather tasty swiss ones from m&s ( other supermarkets are available)
I’ll assume the answer the rest of the questions was yes.
2 hours max. I am fat though and even for the month a year that I’m not that fat I still have the inner fat kid making me eat stuff I shouldn’t.
I couldn't be bothered to answer the rest to be honest.
"
Fairs. |
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"2 nights, max.
You meant 2 hours right? Right!?!
If you'd said 2 giant bags of doritos my answer would have been 10 minutes.
Crisps and chocolate! Good combination "
Chocolate buttons with doritos is amazing 😍 |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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"I reckon a good week or so... Oh sorry, I mean barely an hour because a lack of self control is so funny and whimsical 🤪
Who upset the beans?!"
Did that sound more angry than I intended? 😅 |
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By (user no longer on site) 8 weeks ago
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"I reckon a good week or so... Oh sorry, I mean barely an hour because a lack of self control is so funny and whimsical 🤪
Have a snickers"
Maybe a bite and then save the rest for later... |
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Although the quantity may vary, the formula for me (Mr DS) would be
Daily Allotment = # of Chocolates remaining - 1
That chocolate will also not be chewed. It must be allowed to melt in the mouth naturally.
I'm clearly not a "scoffer"  |
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"Does a box of chocolates last with you?
I got given some today and I've eaten half.
They will not last the night.
"
How are you so slim you chocolate guzzler?
Have you got hollow legs or something?
My chocs last a few days, unless it's ferreo richer. In which case I will be thinking about eating them constantly. |
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Tubs, after researching for years:
Quality street: Demolished in 2 days. No survivors. Purples die first, then the green coconut ones.
Heroes: Smash in 3. Fudge surviving.
Celebrations: A week. Bounty raided first, then Maltesers, then Twix but everything else left.
Roses: Meh
Matchmakers: All flavours, minutes.
Turkish Delight: Won't touch the sides.
All chocolate less chocolate cake, Mars and Snickers will be destroyed. Preferably with a glass of red.
This is my ongoing research.
|
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"Tubs, after researching for years:
Quality street: Demolished in 2 days. No survivors. Purples die first, then the green coconut ones.
Heroes: Smash in 3. Fudge surviving.
Celebrations: A week. Bounty raided first, then Maltesers, then Twix but everything else left.
Roses: Meh
Matchmakers: All flavours, minutes.
Turkish Delight: Won't touch the sides.
All chocolate less chocolate cake, Mars and Snickers will be destroyed. Preferably with a glass of red.
This is my ongoing research.
"
Pffft! I could easily demolish a tub off by myself, in just 1 day! Have you seen the size of this year's tubs of chocolates? 😋 |
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"Tubs, after researching for years:
Quality street: Demolished in 2 days. No survivors. Purples die first, then the green coconut ones.
Heroes: Smash in 3. Fudge surviving.
Celebrations: A week. Bounty raided first, then Maltesers, then Twix but everything else left.
Roses: Meh
Matchmakers: All flavours, minutes.
Turkish Delight: Won't touch the sides.
All chocolate less chocolate cake, Mars and Snickers will be destroyed. Preferably with a glass of red.
This is my ongoing research.
Pffft! I could easily demolish a tub off by myself, in just 1 day! Have you seen the size of this year's tubs of chocolates? 😋 "
If you're setting a challenge of course I could smash my way through a tub in one sitting. Celebrations would be hard as Mars Bars are honking. I would have to gather them all up, put them into a ball and eat whole. |
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"I'm pretty disciplined except when it comes to Maltesers, that box is gone in 60 seconds. "
My absolute weakness with wine. A whole box.
I have been tasked with doing a photo entitled 'happiness'
I think that would be maltesers, red wine and a blowjob. Watch this space. I'm working on the 3rd.
*It has to be a good drop of red 😂 |
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By *carlettsWoman 8 weeks ago
Far away from home |
"I'm pretty disciplined except when it comes to Maltesers, that box is gone in 60 seconds.
My absolute weakness with wine. A whole box.
I have been tasked with doing a photo entitled 'happiness'
I think that would be maltesers, red wine and a blowjob. Watch this space. I'm working on the 3rd.
*It has to be a good drop of red 😂"
Would said photo be of all of those at the same time? Swig of wine with a malteaser giving a blow job? Mouthful springs to mind and choking hazard |
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"I'm pretty disciplined except when it comes to Maltesers, that box is gone in 60 seconds.
My absolute weakness with wine. A whole box.
I have been tasked with doing a photo entitled 'happiness'
I think that would be maltesers, red wine and a blowjob. Watch this space. I'm working on the 3rd.
*It has to be a good drop of red 😂
Would said photo be of all of those at the same time? Swig of wine with a malteaser giving a blow job? Mouthful springs to mind and choking hazard"
It's a great question and I have it planned in my head like I do with all my pics...
I'm on a chair, camera slightly behind and to one side, the very fortunate chocolate and wine living lady in knelt between my legs with a mouthful of me. Her face is obscured by hair, her mascara running. I am holding a glass of red and my other hand is making a fist in her hair. The box of maltesers are on my thigh. All monochrome except for the redness of the malteser box, the wine (and maybe her cheeks 😉)
There will be a mirror capturing the view from the rear.
It's very D/s, I'm lording it a bit, but I reckon I could pull it off.
Happy to accept tweaks to that plan. |
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"As long as possible. I try to stretch it out to avoid the guilt of a binge! I’ve often still had Christmas chocolate left in September.
Forget that pish. Are you playing malteser cricket?"
How can you have ‘push’ and cricket in a sentence?
That’s pure wrong |
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"As long as possible. I try to stretch it out to avoid the guilt of a binge! I’ve often still had Christmas chocolate left in September.
Forget that pish. Are you playing malteser cricket?
How can you have ‘push’ and cricket in a sentence?
That’s pure wrong "
It's Malteser Cricket FFS! Plus it's not this thread 😂 it's in the 'I need' thread.
Too many chocolate posts today. |
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"As long as possible. I try to stretch it out to avoid the guilt of a binge! I’ve often still had Christmas chocolate left in September.
Forget that pish. Are you playing malteser cricket?
How can you have ‘push’ and cricket in a sentence?
That’s pure wrong
It's Malteser Cricket FFS! Plus it's not this thread 😂 it's in the 'I need' thread.
Too many chocolate posts today. "
Autocarrot pushed my pish.
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"As long as possible. I try to stretch it out to avoid the guilt of a binge! I’ve often still had Christmas chocolate left in September.
Forget that pish. Are you playing malteser cricket?"
What’s it entail? Details, I picked up the bare bones of it. |
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"As long as possible. I try to stretch it out to avoid the guilt of a binge! I’ve often still had Christmas chocolate left in September.
Forget that pish. Are you playing malteser cricket?
What’s it entail? Details, I picked up the bare bones of it. "
It's in the other thread. In essence. I am at the crease with my penis semi erect. I'm playing malteserball against 11 beauties. Maltesers are being used as the ball and I simply have to bat away and score runs. I'm not a 'tip and run' guy, more of a boundary hunting slogger. I am shy of 9 beauties. Can I count on you?
Wicket Keeper? |
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"I still have chocolates unopened from Mother’s Day, their probably out of date now"
Enough boring chat from you. I've got you in at 'Long Off' due to your strength in the arm 😉.
7 more to get now (if Crimson is in). |
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"As long as possible. I try to stretch it out to avoid the guilt of a binge! I’ve often still had Christmas chocolate left in September.
Forget that pish. Are you playing malteser cricket?
What’s it entail? Details, I picked up the bare bones of it.
It's in the other thread. In essence. I am at the crease with my penis semi erect. I'm playing malteserball against 11 beauties. Maltesers are being used as the ball and I simply have to bat away and score runs. I'm not a 'tip and run' guy, more of a boundary hunting slogger. I am shy of 9 beauties. Can I count on you?
Wicket Keeper?"
Sure, I’m decent at phys. Count me in. |
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"As long as possible. I try to stretch it out to avoid the guilt of a binge! I’ve often still had Christmas chocolate left in September.
Forget that pish. Are you playing malteser cricket?
What’s it entail? Details, I picked up the bare bones of it.
It's in the other thread. In essence. I am at the crease with my penis semi erect. I'm playing malteserball against 11 beauties. Maltesers are being used as the ball and I simply have to bat away and score runs. I'm not a 'tip and run' guy, more of a boundary hunting slogger. I am shy of 9 beauties. Can I count on you?
Wicket Keeper?"
Gotta be difficult to stay semi erect all the way through no? I mean the willy wants to veer to erect or limp. Keeping it limbo in order to get a cover drive through the covers would be quite an achievement. |
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"As long as possible. I try to stretch it out to avoid the guilt of a binge! I’ve often still had Christmas chocolate left in September.
Forget that pish. Are you playing malteser cricket?
What’s it entail? Details, I picked up the bare bones of it.
It's in the other thread. In essence. I am at the crease with my penis semi erect. I'm playing malteserball against 11 beauties. Maltesers are being used as the ball and I simply have to bat away and score runs. I'm not a 'tip and run' guy, more of a boundary hunting slogger. I am shy of 9 beauties. Can I count on you?
Wicket Keeper?
Gotta be difficult to stay semi erect all the way through no? I mean the willy wants to veer to erect or limp. Keeping it limbo in order to get a cover drive through the covers would be quite an achievement."
Have you seen some of the fielders? I will be able to maintain and 'play with a straight bat' throughout the whole innings.
Cover drives aren't in my repertoire. I'm a lefty too so most of the maltesers will come down legside and be swept for 6. |
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