Please read the profile

Couple in Harrogate, North East, UK

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 9 months ago

So this profile is currently undergoing a bit of an upgrade - a bit like those new speed cameras they are putting on the A1, in the way that both might lead to me getting fucked...

First of all - Thanks for clicking! If you clicked by accident then how did you read this far? You must be very clumsy.

I most certainly have read your profile as that's what I'm first drawn to... my brain controls my belt and I'm in no particular rush to meet - it's good to talk. I will however meet when agreed, I used to run a five-a-side team so I know how frustrating it is when nobody turns up to play... I'd be more than happy to demonstrate my head technique in your box - Yeah I cringed at that too.

I can quite often be found in the chat rooms or forums giving my input where it may or may not be wanted - very much like a d*unk man in the pub, which incidentally, is how I like to spend my nights off... no longer allowed to play darts next to the fruit machine.

If I've looked at your profile and haven't messaged or winked it's probably because something on your profile gives me the impression a message wouldn't be welcome. For example age, or looking for BBC. Last time I checked it was a slightly pinkish white... However, I am happy with the size - I have to be, it's my only one and I doubt they'd let me have a replacement if this one breaks, besides it was a gift, so I don't have a receipt.

Eclectic taste - confidence is sexy, second only to stockings and rippable tights. Anything else rippable is a close third. I also know that a clitoris shouldn't be treated like a fidget spinner, or a vinyl on a DJ deck... wiki-wiki-wah-wah-wicked.

Kik/More photos - Just message me asking for it. I'll give them out like wafer at communion, do your own jokes about being on your knees.

As this is a sex site, the usual cockshots are in my friends-only gallery, rest assured there's no silly 'compare it to a sky remote' rubbish. Mainly because I don't have sky. I'm skint.

PS. Sometimes I get d*unk and message compliments. I can be friendly like that - equally I get curious about your choice of username, some of them sound like secret agent codenames, 0069cuminmyassandonmyface - if you exist, hit me up. I'm into that...

Drop me a wink or message if you think I'd like you. I probably will if you've read this far.

35 years old, Straight

6'3" 191cm
Average
Smoker
Social drinker
No tattoos
No piercings

34 years old, Bisexual

5'8" 173cm
Curvy
Smoker
Social drinker
Some tattoos
1 or 2 piercings

Looking For

Not looking for single guys
Couples (FF) Women
Aged from 18 to 45
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Cannot accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Anal, Blindfolds, Cuckolding, Cybersex, Oral, Rimming, Role Play, Safe Sex, Spanking, Threesomes, Toys

Verified Genuine Profile

*idnight_mayhem_x (31), Woman on 24 June 2019 by Meeting in person:
A amazing couple. Really know what a woman wants. Super friendly and down to earth. Looking forward to having another fab meet with them again soon xx

Friends

f (64) & c (62), Couple
steff (34), Woman
rachael (45) & sean (55), Couple