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my anaconda don't want none if you got kids hun.

Woman in Horley, South East, UK   TickPhoto VerifiedOn mobile site

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 4 days ago


Bobypositive fat bbw.

Looking for regular causual LOCAL hook up fun, but you have to be able to hold a conversation and be a bit interesting.

Love a weirdo (but like a good amusing weirdo not the kind who like to collect their toe nails clippings.... in a jar.....since they were 12....)

Are you still reading this far?

What did schrodinger have againts cats?

What is the dumbest way you’ve been injured?

Do you wanna go to candy mountain?

What is pretty big and pretty white and could beat a polar bear in a fight?

Will the questions ever end?

Note:I'm not on here a lot cos life and my random hobbies. I pop in and out.

Note 2: if you call me babe/baby, my dear or even worse bae (*shudder*) I won't respond.

Note the third:(geeze how many of these have I got to add!) I'm looking for reasonably local guys to add to my hareem. So i want some connection cos if you can't hold a good convo there is no point meeting up. I will just delete you if you are too far away.

Fourthly: I'm not into meeting quickly. So don't ask to meet on the first message (I will delete you) I need to make sure you are:

1- not a serial killer

2- my kinda guy

3- that you actually realise how fat I am! (I get so many messages saying "you're not fat you're curvy" when they haven't even seen a pic yet!

4- If I want to see your dick I'll hook up with you. Noone wants a dick pick in the first message (I will mother fucking delete you!)

"Only 2 types of people like dick picks. The stright guys who send them and the gay guys who receive them"

And worse of all...

5-that you are not a take that fan

Aparently there's a big take that following on here.

Not into married guys or guys who are playing away without permission #trashy

(Edit: I will only take HER word you have permission)

I don't respond to winks or one word message or "Hey sexy" and for fuck sake don't ask me if I'd like a massage

(Guess what I'll do.....)

******************

You can stop reading this far. If you like.

Use the word wibble to show you bothered reading this far...

Yes they are magical...

Safe sex only.

No cam. Local to the Surrey & East Sussex

I get that some guys aren't confident so if you want help with your profile or an honest opinion on it with feedback let me know. :)

Oh and I have some narly scars... but chicks dig scars right?

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in't." Willy w

Waggledagger.

"Smeg" Kryton

"This girl will kick your ass in a heart beat if you mess with her" - Bruce Lee

"Funny and pretty" - the Guardian

"Best granddaughter ever" - My Granddad

"She's the real Massiah!" - Brian

"She drinks and knows things" - Tyrion Lannister

"Well built mare with strong appetite" - Horse & Hound

Elle

41 years old, Bi-curious

5'3"  160cm
Fabulous
Non smoker
Social drinker
Some tattoos
No piercings

Looking For

Couples (MF) Couples (MM) Men
Aged from 24 to 42 only
Won't meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Voyeurism, Toys, Threesomes, Swingers Clubs, Spanking, Soft Swing, SM, Separate Room Swapping, Same Room Swapping, Safe Sex, Role Play, Oral, Cuckolding, Blindfolds, Adult Parties

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Verified Genuine Profile

*ewBBW (42), Woman on 27 January 2020 by Meeting in person:
Met this gorgeous lady for the second time recently and had such a good laugh. She's funny, gorgeous and slightly mad, just like me!! Looking forward to going out in the real world with her and her friend :-) xx

*ig Beautiful Babes (49), Couple on 24 November 2019 by Meeting in person:
What can we say about the gorgeous sexy LaLa? She oozes confidence and if she wants you, she will have you! She helped us out by showing newbies around the house, relieving on the bar, cleaning etc etc. Absolute diamond. See you in January BBB xxxxxx

*implePleasure (44), Man on 17 November 2019 by Meeting in person:
Met this lovely lady at a party I attended recently. We got involved with some party games as soon as I knew what was happening she grabbed me by the hand and whisked me off up stairs. What went on was too mind blowing to be able to be put into simple words but I know I have to see this lady again! 5/5 amazon review!

*attfromcrawley (40), Man on 10 June 2018 by Meeting in person:
Had a great night with this lady at Eurekas. She’s intelligent, funny and great company x

*.Bootylicious (55), Woman on 10 May 2018 by Meeting in person:
Always lovely to see this lady at BOOTYLICIOUS, She always makes an effort and looks great, with a fun personality too, so win win ... She is a lovely lady so look after her please...Much love Booty xxxxx

*.Bootylicious (55), Woman on 20 February 2018 by Meeting in person:
Such a beautiful lady inside and out... Never spend enough time with her ... Always friendly sociable and fun... love her company at BOOTYLICIOUS and always look forward to her company xxxx Much Love xxxxxxxx

*.Bootylicious (55), Woman on 11 July 2017 by Meeting in person:
Love my la la when I see her xxShe came along to BOOTYLICIOUS@EUREKA on Friday... A lovely lady who is always fun to be around...Make no mistake this lady know what she wants and will get it xx Beautiful soul xxx Mwahhhhhhh Sally xxx

*ack567 (36), Man on 10 July 2017 by Meeting in person:
Long time coming but worth the wait. Good sit down and chat lovely person fun socially and then great kisser sucker and beyond lots of fun hopefully not to long till nextime! X

*iceGuy88xxx (36), Man on 1 May 2017 by Meeting in person:
I had a lovely evening with this gorgeous lady we got on really well! I was lucky enough to go back her place for an amazing time! Hopefully we'll get to meet again! X

*astSusSEXBicpl (49), Couple on 30 November 2016 by Meeting in person:
Met this smart, witty and very sexy lady socially at a recent party, had great fun and a good old boogie! xx

*mo-amas-amat (53), Man on 26 November 2016 by Meeting in person:
I have seen this rather sexy minx at some club nights recently. And have wondered (and hoped) to play with her. Well, I shall wonder no more... I got hold of her. Finally. And fuck... It was worth the wait. She fair dragged me into a room and ravished me. She announced to me that she loves sucking cock. No shit. A blow job from the heavens.... And then some hard fucking. She is vocal, loud, expresses her enjoyment perfectly. She is a walking sexual pleasure. I came like a runaway train. Her skills are very special indeed. As is she. Next time can't come quick enough... X

*UREKACOUGARSANDCUBS (43), Couple (FF) on 24 October 2016 by Meeting in person:
This lovely lady came to Eurekacougarsandcubs TRICK OR TREAT night with her friends and they certainly created a stir ! Loads of fun :) ... look forward to seeing you soon xx

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