Howdy

Man in Chester, North West, UK

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 1 day ago

WANTED:

1) A tall, well-built woman with good

2) reputation, who can cook frogs

3) legs, who appreciates a good fuc-

4) schia garden, classical music and tal-

5) king,without getting serious.

PLEASE ONLY READ LINES 1, 3 and 5

Hate to catergorise, but since joining this site, ppl fall into following:-

Ambitious = will bore you to tears about their career and who's toes they've stamped on along the way to get there

Outgoing = Promiscuous

Spirited = will get into a fight en route to date (yes, I've seen it happen).

Australian = all of the above

Likes keeping fit = Has been to the gym once in five years

Kind hearted = Recently dumped and on the rebound

Bit mad = Quite boring

Enjoys a drink = Wants you to fund an evening of piss artistry

Loves animals = Desperately wants kids, but has cats instead

Loves kids = Has four, wants someone - anyone - to pick up the tab

Has photo of Peugeot 206/Mini on profile = desperately boring. Avoid at all costs

Where have all the nice men gone? = All the men in the locality are wise to me and give me awide berth

Enjoys good wine = Enjoys Lambrini, by the bucketload

Likes to travel = went to Ibiza once

Loves films = Loves chickflicks about someone's new pair of shoes which ramble on for hours and star Hugh Grant

Loves books = as above but in paperback

Caring = Potential stalker

Bubbly = Will get on your tits

Pic shows closeup of bodypart = If all they've got going for them is a fuzzy image of tit or arse, would YOU want to get to know them?

Nursing professional = Will drink you under the table and indulge in frightening levels of debauchery

Ladylike = carries brick in her handbag

Lives in North Wales = smells

40-ish.............................................49

Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone

Athletic......................................No tits

Average looking..................................Ugly

Beautiful...........................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure......................On medication

Feminist..........................................Fat

Free spirit....................................Junkie

Friendship first..........................Former slut

Fun..........................................Annoying

New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned..................................No BJs

Open-minded.................................Desperate

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate...............................Sloppy d*unk

Professional....................................Bitch

Voluptuous...................................Very Fat

Large frame................................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate...............................Stalker

Mark

46 years old, Straight

5'11" 180cm
Average
Non smoker
Social drinker
No tattoos
No piercings

Looking For

Couples (MF) Couples (FF) Women
Aged from 18 to 99
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Adult Parties, Anal, Blindfolds, Cuckolding, Dogging, DP, Gangbangs, Group Sex, Safe Sex, Same Room Swapping, Separate Room Swapping, Soft Swing, Swingers Clubs, Taking Photos, Threesomes