Read the profile for a giggle

Man in Merseyside, North West, UK

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 3 hours ago

A profile about me? NAHHH! I'm too mischievous ;) instead of my profile being about me how we about we all have a read and a laugh at the absolute state of humanity online! Feel free to add to it...

Let's go;

Men who expect results with one line messages like "meet now". Chaps... has this EVER worked? Obviously you got horny watching porn and you've switched over to here expecting real women to be that easy. At least you're making my job easier for sending a normal message.

Women who write excessively long manifestos- sorry; "profiles" which takes us so long to read you're no longer online by the time we've finished. You also cover absolutely everything leaving us nothing to ask about and instantly block us if we ask about something you HAVE covered... do you want anyone to message at all lol?

The dick pic brigade... my GOD the sheer number of you could topple a small country!

People who misspell their own names... lmao

Men who get aggressively confrontational at refusal... you either have or are going to have an ex-wife who escaped you one day.

Women who specify what kind of man they'd prefer on their profile... I'm sorry but I just can't help reading this like you're ordering a pizza lmfao!! "I'd like a 7"+, thick at the base... preferably over 6ft, gym fit... heavy cummer... When's the expected time of delivery?" LOL!!!

People who demand pictures yet have none of their own... you are a special level of stupid.

Men on fabs; the seagulls off Finding Nemo. MINE! MINE! MINE!

Women on fabs; Dory off Finding Nemo. Because zero attention span.

18 year old girls; the very definition of Attention Deficit Disorder. Count yourself lucky if you get anything beyond "ye" "lol" or "maybe" as a response.

The cliquey club crowd. The "I only meet those who attend *name of club*" type. Attending one of these places makes you a better person than the rest of the online community. They are mere whelps and filthy 3rd class wretches and are far below the concerns of such cultured people as yourselves. Never forget this. Pricks...

Women; "Sorry I get so many messages I don't always catch everyone"

Also Women; "repeat messages get you blocked!"

Men; "our fate is sealed... :/"

Men who want to get random women online pregnant. Chaps, please stop. There's a reason you're not being allowed to breed.

Women who get a LOT more attention online than they do in real life and end up developing Mariah Carey levels of entitlement they REALLY shouldn't have... I don't know who's worse; these types of women or the hordes of desperate men who made them this way.

Grandads chasing teens.... BLURGH!

Young girls who ask people online to pay for their memberships... you cheap, cheeky, Gold-Digging little whores get a f*cking job you-OMG MEN ARE YOU SERIOUS WHY DID ONE OF YOU ACTUALLY DO IT AND BLOODY WELL PAY FOR THEM!?!?

Sending a snotty message before blocking so they can't respond... You know you've done it... I know you've done it... We both know I've done it too... and it's I.M.M.A.T.U.R.E. as fuck lol!!

The copy and paste crew... GUILTYYYY lol but seriously; women only answer about 1 in 20 messages we send out, that's a lot of thorough work for a 5% response rate lol. That first message is more like a figurative hand wave because you've caught our attention and we're hoping our pictures or something will peak your interest, you'll get a proper conversation if you reply. Have some faith ladies, it's so hard for us men... ;) and yes; this is near the bottom for a reason haha.

The cute, in-shape young girls who put "average" as their body type. Stop fishing for compliments, you know what you are.

When you think you've hit it off with someone and then they suddenly either block you or delete their account. Who... what... why? Be still my aching heart... :(

The women who've made it this far and want to tell me something I've missed, or yell at me for being an ass-hole in my bio... you're all welcome :) now please go out with me x

36 years old, Straight

5'7" 170cm
Athletic
Non smoker
Social drinker
No tattoos
No piercings

Looking For

Not looking for single guys
Couples (FF) Women
Aged from 18 to 55
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Adult Parties, Anal, Blindfolds, Cybersex, Oral, Phone Sex, Role Play, Safe Sex, Spanking, Taking Photos, Threesomes, Toys, Webcams

Verified Genuine Profile