Single guy looking for a FWB (female or couple)

Man in Southend-on-sea, South East, UK

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: 1 hour ago

I've decided to take the approach of the average female/couple profile on here, so here goes:

1. I have hundreds of messages in my inbox, so naturally I won't be bothered to read yours if you send me one.

2. If you're a couple and the males profile says bi, you're not for me. Why not just lie and say "straight" like almost all guys do, even though it's obvious they'd crawl over broken glass to suck a cock if it's all they can get.

3. If your bio says "curvy" or "fabulous" and you then state that you have an "amazing" body, please be clear as to whether you mean perfect, or "roll up, roll up".

4. I won't meet anyone without verifications. Yes, I know that throws you in to the vortex where no veri's equals no meets equals no veri's, but that's your problem. You're an outsider and you'll never be included in any of our cliquey little groups.

5. If you're a couple with lovely clear photo's of the female (who could pass as a model), and an out of focus selfie from 1985 of the male pissing into a toilet bowl, you go straight to the top of my list. Similarly if you're a couple with lots of clear photo's of the males dick, and just one out of focus shot of what could possible be a female nipple, you too can pass Go, collect your £200 and wait at the top of the list.

6. No beards. Sorry ladies, but it's just my personal preference.

7. I'm only interested in people who are between 4ft 6 and 6ft 3 and a half.

8. You must be EXCEPTIONAL in order for me to meet you. I'm only very average (if that), but it's my right to expect that you'll have much lower standards than me.

9. People with no sense of smell are preferred.

10. No weirdo's.

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Below is my old profile which has gotten me ABSOLUTELY fucking nowhere:

Hmmm, so what do you need to know about me? I'm a single guy in Southend and run my own successful photography business. I'm in my 50's, in reasonably good shape, have greying hair, all my own teeth, and am average size "down below". I don't drink or do drugs. Because of my work, I don't have a face picture on my profile, but I'm happy to send it to anyone who will also share theirs with me.

I'm hoping to find a local lady or a mature couple to have fun with from time to time. On a few rare occasions I've been orally bi, but to be honest that depends on a number of factors relating to the other guy in question. Let's just say I'm VERY selective. If you're a couple where the man is straight, it basically means that I can control myself! It also means that I'm very comfortable with close contact in situations where DVP or DP are involved. I always respect the limits of anyone I meet with, and expect the same in return.

You've no doubt noticed that I don't have any meet verifications on here. That has put me in a bit of a pickle as I can't get verifications unless someone meets with me, and I can't get a meet without being verified! I signed up on fab many years ago, but never really pursued any meeting through here as I was on another well known swingers site with the initials SH. I had a profile on their as 'dmcxxx' where I'd built up some good feedback over the years. Over the last few years membership of that site has dwindled and a lot of my old playmates have moved on to a more vanilla lifestyle. I've calmed down a lot due to the pressures of work hours.

So... what do I like? The short answer is lots and LOTS of oral. I could happily spend all day with my face buried between a nice pair of legs. I also love receiving too, so 69's are always top of the list. I'm not a wannabe pornstar. Just a normal down to earth guy I'm afraid, who also has a very naughty side.

I also love to have a laugh. Sex should be fun so finding someone I can click with is really my top priority. If you're a fan of Spaced, The IT Crowd, Father Ted, Alan Partridge or so many more of the great British comedy shows I'm sure we'd get on just fine!

Anyway, all of the above is pretty much pointless until I can get properly verified, so hopefully I'll get to meet some of you naughty people soon, but if not, have fun and enjoy yourselves.

Mark x

I DO NOT GIVE MY PERMISSION FOR ANYONE TO COPY OR RE-USE ANY OF THE TEXT OR IMAGES THAT ARE USED FOR MY PROFILE OR ANY OTHER PAGE{s} ON THIS SITE. IF YOU WANT TO USE MY IMAGES TO WANK OVER, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.

Mark

52 years old, Bi-curious

5'11" 180cm
Average
Non smoker
Don't drink
No tattoos
No piercings

Looking For

Couples (MF) Couples (FF) Women TV/TS
Aged from 18 to 99
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Adult Parties, Blindfolds, Cuckolding, Dogging, DP, Gangbangs, Group Sex, Making Videos, Oral, Phone Sex, Role Play, Safe Sex, Same Room Swapping, Separate Room Swapping, Spanking, Swingers Clubs, Taking Photos, Threesomes, Toys, Voyeurism, Webcams

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