If you make it to the bottom, well done!

Man in Edinburgh, Scotland, UK

Joined: over a year ago
Last on: over a year ago

Thank you for stopping by my profile...

I will say right from the start I am not your usual man. I am actually a fussy old git who has the inclination of wanting to get to know someone first before allowing them into my life. Yes even on a sex site like FAB. Its all about QUALITY.... Not QUANTITY!

Weird for a bloke yes?

If I just wanted to have sex that would be easy there are plenty bars and clubs where I could blend in, laugh at the silly alpha males doing their thing and happily charm an attractive woman into a seductive situation.

But that is not me...well not all of the time!

So I will start with the please don't waste your time if you are.... first.

Men!

Not into men! Sorry guys I know that I have that jenesequa that appeals to you, and yes I would happily groove away to dancing queen all night with you, but that is where it ends!

I am sorry but even if you buy me drinks all night I am still not coming home with you. I would happily be your straight but highly in tune with his feminine side friend, I would even cook you dinner, but I am not going to get naked with you. So apologies for blocking you all. I do miss the banter...

Conceited women. Sorry ladies I know that blokes on FAB cant really afford to be fussy as we have to compete for your attention, and so many of our well draughted messages do not make it past your personal filters, but really I cant stand women that have a self inflated view of themselves.

Be nice on your profile not just, “Deal with it if I dinnae reply!”

One liner profiles... That's all I will say about them...

Profiles that list all the kinky things you like to do. This is OK for some and I appreciate that it is a sex site and you have to relate to those with your personal kink. But I personally like the mystery, the OOLALA of discovery in the getting to know you phase! Anyway is that not what the tick boxes are at the bottom of your profile for?

Time wasters. Who are these people. I have read on so many profiles, no time wasters! Again its a sex site...who would waste anyone's time if your wanting a naughty liaison. So to all you time wasters out there get a watch and get there on time, and for goodness sake be able to perform. The ladies have needs!

Enough about the silly side of what I don't like. What do I like?

People in general. I am a people watching people person. Voyeur and decadent perv. So I hope you are entertaining to watch! (does not mean I am a cuckold voyeur type though!)

I feel being able to hold a rational humorous conversation is very important. You don’t have to an arena filling comedian, but have the ability to listen and understand what is going in when we chat, and perhaps surprise me. By no means think I am going to cHat the hind legs off of you. Yes I have a tendency not to shut up, ever, but I do have the ability to actively listen to what you are also saying to me. I call that respect!

The initial steps of contact fascinate me. Its like being a teenager all over again but with the added ability of experience and charm.

Interesting eye catching profiles, written confidently and allow a little of your personality to escape.

Being a reasonably fit gentleman that is articulate and carries himself well for an early forties guy, my ideal playmate would have have to first tick the boxes of attraction as us men are a predictable lot. We like to look at nice things.

With that in mind I find Petit women make me look twice. There is something so sexy about a woman that fall into this category. They always have more strength of character and personality. And to be honest I have never met a Petit woman that was not exceptionally attractive inside and out!

Athletic and average, OBVIOUSLY, but that does not mean you beautiful curvy women are not catching my eye. You are all beautiful in your own way and should never forget that.

But firmly and for mostly there has to be a spark, a bit of yeah I want to get to know her. And that will all come about by messages and chatting. So be prepared for long interesting mails and texts

OK about me now.

I practice yoga every day. It is a wonderful way of allowing your body to things tat you did not think were possible. The stamina that I have discovered from this has been most entertaining. Those who have benefited from it so far have not complained. Or maybe they are just too polite to complain!!

Wine... Yes I love the vino... not in a binge drinking sort of way, but in a I appreciate it sort of way. But I do like to get a bit tipsy on it from time to time too, and love to share a good bottle in good company.

Coffee, for the morning after the wine.

COFFEE SNOB ALERT!

I have all the toys for making good coffee. Which reminds me I will be right back I fancy a cup of Java!

OK back with a nice double flat white... I did say I was a coffee snob didn't I!

I have a small but highly functional kitchen where I love to practice my culinary art. A chef by trade but no longer cook professionally.

I also have several certificates in a massage, and enjoy a warm room with warm oils slowly relaxing my victims, eh clients (!) into a false sense of security, then I run off with their underwear!

What about my KINK! Well you will have to ask about that, or read the tick boxes at the bottom! I will say though most naughty adventures grab my attention, apart from the ones carrying serious risk to your health!

My attitude towards the fairer sex. Yes that means you ladies. Well I thought I would write it in prose:

**********

All of you, petet, athletic, curvy et al,

You are all beautiful creatures,

You deserved to be treated the way that you want,

And not judged by those who'd be teachers.

Every woman I have laid beside,

Has experienced all my love,

I looked upon them as unique and special,

As intimate as a gossamer glove.

Light as a feather; as hard as a nail,

Your choice how to feel your bliss,

I will make you believe your the only one,

Filling that lonely Abyss.

Other men may catch your eye,

And hold your gaze for a time,

But soon they will all disappoint and mislead,

But with me experience is sublime.

You will move on to other things,

You may not see me again forever,

But I want you to know when we spent time,

You were loved while we were together.

I too will experience other such creatures,

And love them in the same way,

It is just that brief moment that we had as one,

No false illusions I will portray.

We may not be together for long,

But I promise your toes will be curled,

You will be loved for the time that we are,

As though, your the only, woman in the world.

**********

So you made it. Well done, and if you found any of this a fun read then maybe you and I are destined to share a bottle of wine!

So please get in touch if you did not fall asleep reading this tell me all about yourself and how you like your coffee. Because that is the real acid test! Bad coffee, and well its over before it even starts! :D

SOCIAL NETWORKING:

If you are a digital bunny hopping around the internet via various social networking sites on your smart phone and computer, get in touch. If we make it past the initial trust barrier, I will happily share my KIK and Snap Chat ID.

If we become better friends, then we can share Facebook IDs.

Just a quickie update for you:

I am asked quite frequently, “Whats with the Hellboy outfit Karlstorm?”

Thats not a Hellboy outfit... I actually look like that!

No seriously though, it was my outfit for my 40th Birthday party. It was a heroes and villans theme. I really went to town and paint my entire body from head to toe.

After the party, the mess I made of my bed sheets and my GF at the time was hilarious. She had red face paint in places you probably could not imagine!

53 years old, Straight

5'10" 178cm
Athletic
Non smoker
Don't drink
Some tattoos
No piercings

Looking For

Not looking for single guys
Couples (FF) Women
Aged from 18 to 50
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Can accommodate
Can travel

Interests

Adult Parties, Anal, Blindfolds, Cuckolding, Cybersex, Dogging, Gangbangs, Group Sex, Making Videos, Oral, Phone Sex, Rimming, Role Play, Safe Sex, Same Room Swapping, Separate Room Swapping, SM, Soft Swing, Spanking, Swingers Clubs, Taking Photos, Threesomes, Toys, Voyeurism, Webcams

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Verified Genuine Profile

*irtysweetlife100 (56), Woman on 19 January 2014 by Meeting in person:
Good to know such a good guy in the neighbourhood. He is honest and reilable, easy to talk and easy to get along with. Thanks the morning coffee and See you soon.