OK this is a tough one that I just can't seem to bring up... how do I tell my whife (who is quite vanilla) that I have been a part of this scene for years and would love to start swinging together.. my initial thoughts is that she would lose her shit  but if I don't I will continue to do it behind her back and it fills me with guilt every day.. but I have needs! |
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I'm not sure how you'd tell her, but not telling her is only an option if you're not together, IMHO. Not judging you but as someone who has been cheated on and it is cheating because she is unaware, put the shoe on the other foot for 5 mins and consider how it would feel if you were vanilla and your missues turned around and said the same. My only constructive advice would be perhaps broach more sexual exploration as a start point and sound out her interest in expanding your sex life together before you drop the bombshell on her that you swing as sounds like it would be relationship ending. Good luck either way. |
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By *JandCMCouple 45 weeks ago
cardiff |
How it worked for me was.
We took a few pictures of us, no face shots n I did ask her if it's OK to put them in the Internet n she was OK with it.
Not long after I found fabswingers n told her I opened an account n put the pictures on here, told her about the site n said about the live cams of couples shagging on here.
Then a few week later we did a few live cams of us shagging.
Then one day I sat her down n told her how I felt n that I would love for us to get other's involved, originally she said no.
I then a few weeks later brought the subject up again n told her how I felt n that I would love another M to join us.
She then said she would give it a go once n once only.
Now so far we have met one guy 5 or 6 times n arranged a meet last summer on holiday.
She enjoys it aswell as me now.
Just be honest n up front. |
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So, I have always known I was kinky and, as such, only ever pursued fetish based long term relationships because I would not cheat on my partnet. It benefits no one if you are trapped in a marriage where you are basically incompatible.
The problem you have is that you have been cheating for some time. Even if you can now persuade your partner to try swinging, that will not exonerate that previous behaviour.
You are between a rock and a hard place because being honest is likely to end the relationship, or if your partner gets into the scene and you don't tell her, she may still find out.
Only you can decide what is best, but be realistic, and most of all don't pressure your partner because that never works longterm.
Mr S |
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By *bw.BratWoman 45 weeks ago
Carmarthenshire |
What men fail to realise when wanting to introduce their wife to swinging, is that she would get 100x the attention the husband will ever get on the scene.
All well and good doing it behind her back , no judgement , but it's interesting to find out how many men shoot themselves in the foot sitting on the sidelines whilst his Mrs gets railed every weekend left right and centre 
And rightfully so
Collateral damage comment - really ?  |
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So you've been cheating on your wife for years and you think she will stay with you if you try to get her into swinging? Bit delusional OP sorry to say.
If your mrs forgave you for cheating and started swinging with you, like BBW Brat said above, she will get far more attention than you and would you be able to handle her getting more action than you have? |
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By *coutDWoman 45 weeks ago
Pontypridd |
From your profile…
“Experienced the scene off and on over various years, but back now and would like to keep enjoying myself with the right people.”
Might want to add in that you’re married and your wife isn’t aware you’re here for a start but erm you’ve been cheating over various years. You’re living a lie and you really need to think about that.
How will she feel when she reads your profile?
Couples counselling with swinging knowledge might be a good start.
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I am in a relationship and on here without her knowledge. I have not met one to one with anyone but been to clubs. I realise i have cheated and do always feel guilty. I have tried hinting at a threesome but no joy. Without her knowing or us separating, I cant see me getting more active. |
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Some really great replies to this ‘problem’. When anyone in a relationship- married, not married, doesn’t matter- is living a separate life then it’s not an equal relationship and the lying and possible repercussions will be ALL the OPs responsibility/fault.
Personally, I think your wife probably already knows what you’re doing. She deserves to know what’s going on so she can make a decision. Something everyone deserves.
Of course women get more attention in the scene, we’re amazing. But we have the choice.
Get counselling. You both need to discuss this in a professional setting or just end it.
Hope OP makes a change. |
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