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Finding a relationship through swinging
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After a recent break up its made me realise I want to find someone in the lifestyle.... Is it possible to find a relationship from swinging? "
Take me on a date OP and we can talk about it!!   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After a recent break up its made me realise I want to find someone in the lifestyle.... Is it possible to find a relationship from swinging?
Take me on a date OP and we can talk about it!! "
Good answer  |
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There's many of us wanting to find perfect partner and requests have been made for interest to be added and a forum category for it.
For now best chance to find people open to relationships is via profile information |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm hoping to find one! Have included it on my profile.
Very difficult being honest about it on dating sites without attracting the wrong attention...
I think it should be an option to tick so it's something that can be searched and ticked in preferences.
Xxx |
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Hi OP, hubby and I met at clubf, we met and married with in 8 months. We still thoroughly enjoy the lifestyle although there were teething problems as we adjusted to swinging as a couple. But we always chat on the way to a meet etc and go over rules and boundaries (which never change), this means no arguments or problems and we love exploring the lifestyle together |
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"After a recent break up its made me realise I want to find someone in the lifestyle.... Is it possible to find a relationship from swinging? "
I'm always open to the idea of a relationship coming from fab, I have had a couple of my ex's come from here and I'm going on a date with someone from here this week. I think if you're open and honest about what you want it can happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After a recent break up its made me realise I want to find someone in the lifestyle.... Is it possible to find a relationship from swinging? "
I hope so too. Feel free to take me on a date too |
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I can’t speak for swing, but I exclusively date through the bdsm scene, it’s part of who i am, so can’t date vanilla.
Though it certainly does make finding that special girl harder when trying to date within a niche community. |
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"After a recent break up its made me realise I want to find someone in the lifestyle.... Is it possible to find a relationship from swinging? "
My husband and I started swinging on and off 23 years ago. Originally because I had fantasies about other women and of both myself and my husband being with them. Turned out he had similar ones and wanted to see me with other men as well.
We started our journey together and until recent years (mostly due to raising our children and making out family our number one priority) it was a mostly casual and rare thing...but we both loved it. We are just trying to get as much fun in now before we are too old (though we hope that is a few years away still).
All I'm saying here is neither of us where swingers when we met. We fell in love and formed a strong bind before it was even a thing. We've been open and honest from the start and whilst like every couple, we have had our ups and downs, we are stronger together and swinging is a bonus to our relationship, not a necessity. If one of us asked the other to
stop tomorrow, we would. No questions asked.
In our time on the scene we have seen a few couples form from the lifestyle and just as many split up. We've seen (on a 2 occasions) two married swinger couples split up so one of half of each can form a new relationship.
I dont want to tell you it's not possible because it is. It's just not that easy. People on here are not officially looking for romance (as far as I know) but it could happen. If anything you should build a solid relationship first with who ever you meet then introduce the idea...or at least tell them from the get go about your passions as a swinger.
If they're on board, great. If not, be prepared to give it all up if you care for them enough. If you don't care enough, best to end it there, move on and keep looking.
When it comes to love, make sure your partner is the most important thing, not swinging.
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"After a recent break up its made me realise I want to find someone in the lifestyle.... Is it possible to find a relationship from swinging?
My husband and I started swinging on and off 23 years ago. Originally because I had fantasies about other women and of both myself and my husband being with them. Turned out he had similar ones and wanted to see me with other men as well.
We started our journey together and until recent years (mostly due to raising our children and making out family our number one priority) it was a mostly casual and rare thing...but we both loved it. We are just trying to get as much fun in now before we are too old (though we hope that is a few years away still).
All I'm saying here is neither of us where swingers when we met. We fell in love and formed a strong bind before it was even a thing. We've been open and honest from the start and whilst like every couple, we have had our ups and downs, we are stronger together and swinging is a bonus to our relationship, not a necessity. If one of us asked the other to
stop tomorrow, we would. No questions asked.
In our time on the scene we have seen a few couples form from the lifestyle and just as many split up. We've seen (on a 2 occasions) two married swinger couples split up so one of half of each can form a new relationship.
I dont want to tell you it's not possible because it is. It's just not that easy. People on here are not officially looking for romance (as far as I know) but it could happen. If anything you should build a solid relationship first with who ever you meet then introduce the idea...or at least tell them from the get go about your passions as a swinger.
If they're on board, great. If not, be prepared to give it all up if you care for them enough. If you don't care enough, best to end it there, move on and keep looking.
When it comes to love, make sure your partner is the most important thing, not swinging.
"
It's important to be on similar wavelengths with a partner
And couples who you refer to ending relationships to make a new have had a monogamous attitude as if they can't have to meaningful relationships at the same time. Yet swinging is a form of polyamory in itself. If people can get past the ideas drilled into us from young children that there's only 1 love and can only be 1 at a time people wouldn't feel the need to breakdown relationships because they think they love someone else more. No love is the same each person you love is unique so why try to weigh up how much you love a person compared to another.
What I'm looking for is difficult to find I probably never will find someone who is on my wavelength or close to it with mutual attraction.
Relationships where you compromise a significant part of yourself will never last.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t speak for swing, but I exclusively date through the bdsm scene, it’s part of who i am, so can’t date vanilla.
Though it certainly does make finding that special girl harder when trying to date within a niche community."
Have you got a like-minded, single, older brother?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had one last Yr.. 9m.. Met on fab
Lovely til he ghosted me.
Love long term lifestyle partner..
Full commitment.
So single. "
Likewise in 2018 but for 8 months  |
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"It's important to be on similar wavelengths with a partner
And couples who you refer to ending relationships to make a new have had a monogamous attitude as if they can't have to meaningful relationships at the same time. Yet swinging is a form of polyamory in itself. If people can get past the ideas drilled into us from young children that there's only 1 love and can only be 1 at a time people wouldn't feel the need to breakdown relationships because they think they love someone else more. No love is the same each person you love is unique so why try to weigh up how much you love a person compared to another.
What I'm looking for is difficult to find I probably never will find someone who is on my wavelength or close to it with mutual attraction.
Relationships where you compromise a significant part of yourself will never last.
"
I'm going to let you into on of our secrets.
We actually would have a polyamorous relationship with the right person or persons. Its something we discussed long ago as we never believed you can only love one person. Yaaay for not caring all that much about what society thinks is right or wrong I guess. After all, if you can love your family, friends or pets it is completely possible to be in love with more than one person.
Love is...well..love. You can't quantify it. Emotions are not easy and you are 100% right. No love is the same. My husband (bless him) still breaks down from the loss of our dog a few years ago. He fell in love with a dog at first sight. I loved her and miss her to but..he loved that dog to the point he would have taken a bullet for her (though I came first if needed be lol). Point is, love is complicated (and obviously not always sexual in this scenario). We can love anyone or anything in the right situation and we think that's beautiful and not something to avoid. It's something to embrace and cherish and if it is between two, three or four consenting adults it has bugger all to do with anyone else.
But maybe we are a little hippy and love in for some peoples tastes so we will keep it physical I guess as it never actually happened to us (and probably never will) but we would not have shy'd away from it had it happened.
As for what you are looking for, I hope you find the love and freedom you need. We did, we just did not know it all those years ago so you could too. Plus you should have your pick of people. You're gorgeous 
Just saying. |
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"It's important to be on similar wavelengths with a partner
And couples who you refer to ending relationships to make a new have had a monogamous attitude as if they can't have to meaningful relationships at the same time. Yet swinging is a form of polyamory in itself. If people can get past the ideas drilled into us from young children that there's only 1 love and can only be 1 at a time people wouldn't feel the need to breakdown relationships because they think they love someone else more. No love is the same each person you love is unique so why try to weigh up how much you love a person compared to another.
What I'm looking for is difficult to find I probably never will find someone who is on my wavelength or close to it with mutual attraction.
Relationships where you compromise a significant part of yourself will never last.
I'm going to let you into on of our secrets.
We actually would have a polyamorous relationship with the right person or persons. Its something we discussed long ago as we never believed you can only love one person. Yaaay for not caring all that much about what society thinks is right or wrong I guess. After all, if you can love your family, friends or pets it is completely possible to be in love with more than one person.
Love is...well..love. You can't quantify it. Emotions are not easy and you are 100% right. No love is the same. My husband (bless him) still breaks down from the loss of our dog a few years ago. He fell in love with a dog at first sight. I loved her and miss her to but..he loved that dog to the point he would have taken a bullet for her (though I came first if needed be lol). Point is, love is complicated (and obviously not always sexual in this scenario). We can love anyone or anything in the right situation and we think that's beautiful and not something to avoid. It's something to embrace and cherish and if it is between two, three or four consenting adults it has bugger all to do with anyone else.
But maybe we are a little hippy and love in for some peoples tastes so we will keep it physical I guess as it never actually happened to us (and probably never will) but we would not have shy'd away from it had it happened.
As for what you are looking for, I hope you find the love and freedom you need. We did, we just did not know it all those years ago so you could too. Plus you should have your pick of people. You're gorgeous
Just saying."
Thank you it's lovely of you to say and much appreciated
I have found people I could have a relationship with but wasn't what they wanted mainly they don't want a relationship or my nature puts them off.
I've lived in monogamous relationships I was miserable. I carried on for their sake I was making them happy but forsaking my own happiness.
Add in complications of the whole of me as a person brings it's difficult to find the match and I don't think it's fair on anyone if I accepted someone for the sake of not being alone. I need to accept them and they need to accept me I don't want someone to compromise themself just so I'm happy.
It doesn't help if personalities clash it's a no go from that start no matter how interested a person is in having a relationship.
I think your relationship is built on strong foundation you're the perfect people for each other. My motto is there's no such thing as a perfect person, but there is such a thing as perfect for you. |
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"
Thank you it's lovely of you to say and much appreciated
I have found people I could have a relationship with but wasn't what they wanted mainly they don't want a relationship or my nature puts them off.
I've lived in monogamous relationships I was miserable. I carried on for their sake I was making them happy but forsaking my own happiness.
Add in complications of the whole of me as a person brings it's difficult to find the match and I don't think it's fair on anyone if I accepted someone for the sake of not being alone. I need to accept them and they need to accept me I don't want someone to compromise themself just so I'm happy.
It doesn't help if personalities clash it's a no go from that start no matter how interested a person is in having a relationship.
I think your relationship is built on strong foundation you're the perfect people for each other. My motto is there's no such thing as a perfect person, but there is such a thing as perfect for you. "
Nothing to appreciate. Honesty is the best policy and not being true to ourselves or others is when we hurt ourselves as much as those we care for. If you cant be happy in yourself, how can you make others happy?
Obviously no, I do not know you as a person but I'm already seeing a smart, thoughtful and insightful individual. For a start, you can write more than one line comments (no offence anyone). Given the usual "fancy a shag" low effort nonsense on here, that actually stands out. That is special in its own right.
Maybe one day our paths will cross in a club somewhere and we can have a chat. You actually seem special and thoughtful and I like that. An honest heart on your sleeve is rare but at least you seem to embrace it. I wish there was more people like that out in the world. Might be a better place.
Glad I'm not the only open minded new age babe on here as well (or whatever label people think applies). Nothing wrong with being happy and loving people.
As for my husband and I, we are perfect for each other and us. All relationships take work but 98% paradise is still paradise (Neither of us believe any other relationship is 100% perfect because we are not and we got damn close).
Also..who does not want a guy who actively eggs them on to have sex with Johnny Depp look a likes? My husband did that...god I love him!
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"
Thank you it's lovely of you to say and much appreciated
I have found people I could have a relationship with but wasn't what they wanted mainly they don't want a relationship or my nature puts them off.
I've lived in monogamous relationships I was miserable. I carried on for their sake I was making them happy but forsaking my own happiness.
Add in complications of the whole of me as a person brings it's difficult to find the match and I don't think it's fair on anyone if I accepted someone for the sake of not being alone. I need to accept them and they need to accept me I don't want someone to compromise themself just so I'm happy.
It doesn't help if personalities clash it's a no go from that start no matter how interested a person is in having a relationship.
I think your relationship is built on strong foundation you're the perfect people for each other. My motto is there's no such thing as a perfect person, but there is such a thing as perfect for you.
Nothing to appreciate. Honesty is the best policy and not being true to ourselves or others is when we hurt ourselves as much as those we care for. If you cant be happy in yourself, how can you make others happy?
Obviously no, I do not know you as a person but I'm already seeing a smart, thoughtful and insightful individual. For a start, you can write more than one line comments (no offence anyone). Given the usual "fancy a shag" low effort nonsense on here, that actually stands out. That is special in its own right.
Maybe one day our paths will cross in a club somewhere and we can have a chat. You actually seem special and thoughtful and I like that. An honest heart on your sleeve is rare but at least you seem to embrace it. I wish there was more people like that out in the world. Might be a better place.
Glad I'm not the only open minded new age babe on here as well (or whatever label people think applies). Nothing wrong with being happy and loving people.
As for my husband and I, we are perfect for each other and us. All relationships take work but 98% paradise is still paradise (Neither of us believe any other relationship is 100% perfect because we are not and we got damn close).
Also..who does not want a guy who actively eggs them on to have sex with Johnny Depp look a likes? My husband did that...god I love him!
"
I can't help but feel appreciation for your words. It's rare to be acknowledged as a person, I also agree I'm special but it's the special case kind of special that probably requires a stint in the asylum while wearing sequined straitjacket in a purple padded room. I'm honest to the point of being brutally honest but it's my understanding that in order to make a decision it requires to be based on all the information. Can't have an informed choice without honesty, everything we do is about choices
I am who I am flaws and all and to find someone who loves me despite my flaws and accepts me and the complexities of mutual feeling which for me isn't as hard to do, it's the needle in the haystack.
I'd enjoy meeting you both a chance to chat, it's nice to know like minded people be it platonic or more. I rarely take trips to any clubs at the moment given financial restrictions. Will improve in the coming months so I wouldn't say never.
I agree about paradise, as everyone knows paradise has it storms, it's how you weather the storms out.
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"
I can't help but feel appreciation for your words. It's rare to be acknowledged as a person, I also agree I'm special but it's the special case kind of special that probably requires a stint in the asylum while wearing sequined straitjacket in a purple padded room. I'm honest to the point of being brutally honest but it's my understanding that in order to make a decision it requires to be based on all the information. Can't have an informed choice without honesty, everything we do is about choices
I am who I am flaws and all and to find someone who loves me despite my flaws and accepts me and the complexities of mutual feeling which for me isn't as hard to do, it's the needle in the haystack.
I'd enjoy meeting you both a chance to chat, it's nice to know like minded people be it platonic or more. I rarely take trips to any clubs at the moment given financial restrictions. Will improve in the coming months so I wouldn't say never.
I agree about paradise, as everyone knows paradise has it storms, it's how you weather the storms out.
"
It's lovely you feel anything from my words. I'm only talking how I see fit. You're a person and should be treated as such. I'd like to hope I treat everyone the same but thank you. Your words are kind as well.
As for you, special kind of special is still special. Nothing to fear by that.Everyone needs a stint in a padded room in my opinion. Trust me, I've been there. I think everyone has. They just don't all admit it. Honest is good as well. I wish more people where.
As for choices and information... spend any time with my husband and you'll see what overthinking is. I'm glad he's who he is. I love the fact he's the most open book and maybe a bit neurotic at times.. I think that's really important in the world. Lies are not pleasant. The truth might not always be nice either but better to pull certain band aids off sooner rather than later in my opinion.
I hope we do bump into you at some point as well. You come across as sweet, honest and open. Not always what you get on here so it's nice when you see it. Should we ever see you (and who knows) I will most certainly come and say hello.
If you want to chat again, please feel free to message (though be warned, I love to chat). If not, I truly hope you find the happiness you desire and wish you all the best.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We met through swinging and have been very happily married for 6yrs now. We know a lot of couples who have done the same
Mrs x"
There is hope for us all! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We met through swinging and have been very happily married for 6yrs now. We know a lot of couples who have done the same
Mrs x
There is hope for us all! "
Feel free to be part of our poly constellation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Of course. Anywhere is a place to find a relationship. Just don’t work too hard to find it. See how things go."
I've got to say you are simply gorgeous! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"After a recent break up its made me realise I want to find someone in the lifestyle.... Is it possible to find a relationship from swinging?
My husband and I started swinging on and off 23 years ago. Originally because I had fantasies about other women and of both myself and my husband being with them. Turned out he had similar ones and wanted to see me with other men as well.
We started our journey together and until recent years (mostly due to raising our children and making out family our number one priority) it was a mostly casual and rare thing...but we both loved it. We are just trying to get as much fun in now before we are too old (though we hope that is a few years away still).
All I'm saying here is neither of us where swingers when we met. We fell in love and formed a strong bind before it was even a thing. We've been open and honest from the start and whilst like every couple, we have had our ups and downs, we are stronger together and swinging is a bonus to our relationship, not a necessity. If one of us asked the other to
stop tomorrow, we would. No questions asked.
In our time on the scene we have seen a few couples form from the lifestyle and just as many split up. We've seen (on a 2 occasions) two married swinger couples split up so one of half of each can form a new relationship.
I dont want to tell you it's not possible because it is. It's just not that easy. People on here are not officially looking for romance (as far as I know) but it could happen. If anything you should build a solid relationship first with who ever you meet then introduce the idea...or at least tell them from the get go about your passions as a swinger.
If they're on board, great. If not, be prepared to give it all up if you care for them enough. If you don't care enough, best to end it there, move on and keep looking.
When it comes to love, make sure your partner is the most important thing, not swinging.
"
Couldn’t agree with this post more. We had been together in an exclusive relationship for 8 years before this was discussed. Have enjoyed being on the scene now for 2.5 years lots of fun and laughter along the way. And we are so secure in our relationship but I do feel that’s because we had time with just the two of us to build a bond and trust.
It’s probably not impossible to meet someone on here but like any relationship openness and communication is key xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've met a lady on fab that's looking for the same thing as me. I also know a couple that met on fab and are getting married in August. We have all become great friends ..I know a few people that have met on fab and are now in solid strong relationships. So yes OP It is possible to meet someone on fab |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Met Inked on here. I was absolutely determined not to fall for anyone and just have fun. Then just three months into joining I met Inked, and that was that. Fell for him hook, line and sinker. That was 27 months ago, and I still get butterflies at the thought of him x
Viv x |
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