FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Preferences
Preferences
Jump to: Newest in thread
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I just saw a profile and at the bottom it said "No blacks" ( I am struggling to even write that comment in this post). Surely that sort of attitude is reminiscent of times long gone. I for one find it truly awful to see such prejudice, yes everyone has preferences but surely there is no need to be so derogatory or demeaning. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago
portsmouth |
"I just saw a profile and at the bottom it said "No blacks" ( I am struggling to even write that comment in this post). Surely that sort of attitude is reminiscent of times long gone. I for one find it truly awful to see such prejudice, yes everyone has preferences but surely there is no need to be so derogatory or demeaning. " What would be considered an acceptable term (if any) to state this preference?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What would be considered an acceptable term (if any) to state this preference? "
I think saying ‘black guys/bbc is not my thing’ is fine. Just saying no blacks sounds super duper rude. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wow, a man on Fab who has actually read a profile! Well done, OP.
I do not agree with the way it was stated (though maybe the owner of the profile was going for as straight to the point attitude as possible), but we are all allowed to have our preferences. I am not going to become intimate, potentially, with someone who I don't feel attracted to. And I am not attracted to black men (mainly because of their attitude) or men of Pakistani/Indian/Middle Eastern origin. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just saw a profile and at the bottom it said "No blacks" ( I am struggling to even write that comment in this post). Surely that sort of attitude is reminiscent of times long gone. I for one find it truly awful to see such prejudice, yes everyone has preferences but surely there is no need to be so derogatory or demeaning. " its an age old problem on this site and creates great anguish for some on both sides of the fence those that select to type it on profile see it as a preference and it would seem are quite comfortable with it, others will agree with you, my own opinion is they should just filter them out in messaging process |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Yes I would think that is the decent thing to do, it can't be that difficult but then again I don't get hundreds of messages obviously. The wording does, as someone said earlier, seem super duper rude but maybe I was being a bit harsh and it's the only way they know of to express their preferences, if that is the case then people considering meeting up can make their own judgements. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ilth500Man
over a year ago
Merseyside |
"Wow, a man on Fab who has actually read a profile! Well done, OP.
I do not agree with the way it was stated (though maybe the owner of the profile was going for as straight to the point attitude as possible), but we are all allowed to have our preferences. I am not going to become intimate, potentially, with someone who I don't feel attracted to. And I am not attracted to black men (mainly because of their attitude) or men of Pakistani/Indian/Middle Eastern origin. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just saw a profile and at the bottom it said "No blacks" ( I am struggling to even write that comment in this post). Surely that sort of attitude is reminiscent of times long gone. I for one find it truly awful to see such prejudice, yes everyone has preferences but surely there is no need to be so derogatory or demeaning. "
OP i see no problem in it whatsoever.
I open profiles daily saying "no men".. i move along.
I open profiles daily saying "no married".. i move along.
I open profiles daily saying "no cock pics".. i move along.
I open profiles daily saying "no uncircumsised cocks".. i move along.
As soon as someone says "no blacks" it becomes an issue?
I am a married male with an uncircumsised cock.. do i think these people are being prejudice towards me? No.. its their preference which i respect.
So should we be prjudice towards a profile that says "no blacks"?
No... it his/ her preference. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I am not saying people cannot have a preference, everybody does, I was merely commenting on the way it was written, there more acceptable ways of expressing such a preference and the wording used has echoes of times that most would rather forget. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’ve said this many times - preference is meant to be positive. It’s about what you prefer. What you like.
It’s not a “preference” to state what you dislike. In fact it’s the opposite - it’s a dislike. An aversion. Some may even say discrimination?
Keep your preferences positive. I dislike a lot of things but there’s no way I’d offend anyone by writing it on my profile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just saw a profile and at the bottom it said "No blacks" ( I am struggling to even write that comment in this post). Surely that sort of attitude is reminiscent of times long gone. I for one find it truly awful to see such prejudice, yes everyone has preferences but surely there is no need to be so derogatory or demeaning.
OP i see no problem in it whatsoever.
I open profiles daily saying "no men".. i move along.
I open profiles daily saying "no married".. i move along.
I open profiles daily saying "no cock pics".. i move along.
I open profiles daily saying "no uncircumsised cocks".. i move along.
As soon as someone says "no blacks" it becomes an issue?
I am a married male with an uncircumsised cock.. do i think these people are being prejudice towards me? No.. its their preference which i respect.
So should we be prjudice towards a profile that says "no blacks"?
No... it his/ her preference. "
There’s a big difference. “No Men” is a wide group. It’s all men. Every single man. No blacks is targeted at a single group of people . It’s much different. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist.. "
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am not saying people cannot have a preference, everybody does, I was merely commenting on the way it was written, there more acceptable ways of expressing such a preference and the wording used has echoes of times that most would rather forget. "
Yeah i get that. Just i think theres so many snowflakes around that get upset by the slightest little thing, that i find myself deliberately going the other way. Im not prejudicial in any way towards any other human being, be it male, female, gender neutral, white, black, european, asian, but i do feel that too much fuss is being kicked up about EVERYTHING. You watch jeremy vine in a morning and you'll know exactly what i mean. Things need to be said how it is. If i said "no blacks", it means i do not wish to meet any black person from this site. It does not mean im the most racist person on fab. If i say "no TV/TS".. i do not want to meet tv/ts... im not gonna take to the streets with a bat flogging any i see lol.
Someone further up the thread said theres loads of profiles from ladies saying "black only"..
I dont think ooooh you racist cow, whats wrong with us white guys?
I think your preferences should be displayed in your profile, but i dont think you have a duty to sugar coat them. If all prejudices were truly dead, which they rightly so should be.. thered be no need to sugar coat them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Agree with your comments, buddy. So many jump to assumptions that certain words use are automatically derogatory or racists. Besides not everyone here are good on english language or can use the Queens English properly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people "
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just saw a profile and at the bottom it said "No blacks" ( I am struggling to even write that comment in this post). Surely that sort of attitude is reminiscent of times long gone. I for one find it truly awful to see such prejudice, yes everyone has preferences but surely there is no need to be so derogatory or demeaning.
OP i see no problem in it whatsoever.
I open profiles daily saying "no men".. i move along.
I open profiles daily saying "no married".. i move along.
I open profiles daily saying "no cock pics".. i move along.
I open profiles daily saying "no uncircumsised cocks".. i move along.
As soon as someone says "no blacks" it becomes an issue?
I am a married male with an uncircumsised cock.. do i think these people are being prejudice towards me? No.. its their preference which i respect.
So should we be prjudice towards a profile that says "no blacks"?
No... it his/ her preference. " |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward."
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ilth500Man
over a year ago
Merseyside |
"I am not saying people cannot have a preference, everybody does, I was merely commenting on the way it was written, there more acceptable ways of expressing such a preference and the wording used has echoes of times that most would rather forget.
Yeah i get that. Just i think theres so many snowflakes around that get upset by the slightest little thing, that i find myself deliberately going the other way. Im not prejudicial in any way towards any other human being, be it male, female, gender neutral, white, black, european, asian, but i do feel that too much fuss is being kicked up about EVERYTHING. You watch jeremy vine in a morning and you'll know exactly what i mean. Things need to be said how it is. If i said "no blacks", it means i do not wish to meet any black person from this site. It does not mean im the most racist person on fab. If i say "no TV/TS".. i do not want to meet tv/ts... im not gonna take to the streets with a bat flogging any i see lol.
Someone further up the thread said theres loads of profiles from ladies saying "black only"..
I dont think ooooh you racist cow, whats wrong with us white guys?
I think your preferences should be displayed in your profile, but i dont think you have a duty to sugar coat them. If all prejudices were truly dead, which they rightly so should be.. thered be no need to sugar coat them. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's one reason I don't like text as u can't read it's as it's supposed to sound but they really could use a different word. I don't see colour I just see people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn"
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist."
It’s a generalisation? The same as the massive generalisation that you couldn’t possibly be attracted to any of the hundreds of millions of people with a certain skin tone?
You just totally contradicted yourself.
Also i wasn’t making a generalisation. As I said, that insight comes from reading dozens of different takes on this thread. The people that write those things often reply and say it’s not so much the skin tone, it’s because of assumed behaviour or personality traits of certain races (which most of the time are stereotypes). More often than not that’s the reason. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Saying no blacks is only like saying no one over 50. It's what people are looking for, it's a personal thing it's no a job interview."
It does slightly have a negative overhang.."no blacks, no dogs, no Irish" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist." lol well you got that wrong thats exactly what it is, i get you're not attracted and thats fine but as soon as you put it on your profile thats about race, so you could by virtue of that see why some not all might be offended, cutting the messages down, saving time are just not good enough reasons for putting it on your profile |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
I agree with this.
There are positive ways of saying something and negative ways of saying the same thing.
I'd rather read who or what people find attractive than what they find unattractive.
The latter comes across as a bit judgemental. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist.
It’s a generalisation? The same as the massive generalisation that you couldn’t possibly be attracted to any of the hundreds of millions of people with a certain skin tone?
You just totally contradicted yourself.
Also i wasn’t making a generalisation. As I said, that insight comes from reading dozens of different takes on this thread. The people that write those things often reply and say it’s not so much the skin tone, it’s because of assumed behaviour or personality traits of certain races (which most of the time are stereotypes). More often than not that’s the reason."
Firstly I haven't contradicted myself, because I haven't said I'm not attracted to anything. I'm speaking generally. This particular issue isn't one I relate to. But I find the discussion interesting.
You said everyone who says they're not attracted to certain skin tones is down to assumptions on how people act. That is the generalisation. Some people just aren't attracted to skin tones.
For people who say it's due to assumptions based on stereotypes, I agree it's wrong and it's racist.
For people who just aren't attracted to / into certain skin tones.. I don't think painting them as racist is fair.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist.lol well you got that wrong thats exactly what it is, i get you're not attracted and thats fine but as soon as you put it on your profile thats about race, so you could by virtue of that see why some not all might be offended, cutting the messages down, saving time are just not good enough reasons for putting it on your profile "
First of all, to clarify, this subject isn't about us or relate to us. We don't reject people based on skin tone nor say so on our profile.
Onto the subject, you just said.. it's racist if they're not attracted to a certain skin tone. But it's fine if they're not.. until they say on their profile. Then it's racist.
That doesn't even make sense.
How people word things is key, and that's where the offense can come in. People need to be careful how they say things, and not be insensitive to people's feelings. But as we all see, people word things very bluntly on their profiles when it comes to preferences.
People saying "tall guys only" "big cocks only" "BBC only" appears on a fair few profile. That could also offend people.
I'm not arguing that people can't get offended, or whether or not people should state things like that on their profile.. I'm saying it doesn't automatically make someone racist. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist.lol well you got that wrong thats exactly what it is, i get you're not attracted and thats fine but as soon as you put it on your profile thats about race, so you could by virtue of that see why some not all might be offended, cutting the messages down, saving time are just not good enough reasons for putting it on your profile
First of all, to clarify, this subject isn't about us or relate to us. We don't reject people based on skin tone nor say so on our profile.
Onto the subject, you just said.. it's racist if they're not attracted to a certain skin tone. But it's fine if they're not.. until they say on their profile. Then it's racist.
That doesn't even make sense.
How people word things is key, and that's where the offense can come in. People need to be careful how they say things, and not be insensitive to people's feelings. But as we all see, people word things very bluntly on their profiles when it comes to preferences.
People saying "tall guys only" "big cocks only" "BBC only" appears on a fair few profile. That could also offend people.
I'm not arguing that people can't get offended, or whether or not people should state things like that on their profile.. I'm saying it doesn't automatically make someone racist. " as soon as you talk about skin colour or cop out tone and discount a person because of it thats racism end of, when i said " its fine if theyre not" that was me saying i don't mind one way or the other I'm just debating what i feel is racist, I'm not racist and don't discount a partner on the basis of skin pigment, tone or colour but to save on messages and to save wasting peoples time by putting said statement on a profile is not politically correct and those reasons are not acceptable |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist.lol well you got that wrong thats exactly what it is, i get you're not attracted and thats fine but as soon as you put it on your profile thats about race, so you could by virtue of that see why some not all might be offended, cutting the messages down, saving time are just not good enough reasons for putting it on your profile
First of all, to clarify, this subject isn't about us or relate to us. We don't reject people based on skin tone nor say so on our profile.
Onto the subject, you just said.. it's racist if they're not attracted to a certain skin tone. But it's fine if they're not.. until they say on their profile. Then it's racist.
That doesn't even make sense.
How people word things is key, and that's where the offense can come in. People need to be careful how they say things, and not be insensitive to people's feelings. But as we all see, people word things very bluntly on their profiles when it comes to preferences.
People saying "tall guys only" "big cocks only" "BBC only" appears on a fair few profile. That could also offend people.
I'm not arguing that people can't get offended, or whether or not people should state things like that on their profile.. I'm saying it doesn't automatically make someone racist. as soon as you talk about skin colour or cop out tone and discount a person because of it thats racism end of, when i said " its fine if theyre not" that was me saying i don't mind one way or the other I'm just debating what i feel is racist, I'm not racist and don't discount a partner on the basis of skin pigment, tone or colour but to save on messages and to save wasting peoples time by putting said statement on a profile is not politically correct and those reasons are not acceptable "
It's not discounting them in any other way other than as a sexual partner. It doesn't automatically make them a racist, I feel.
I don't think it's impossible to not be attracted to everyone that falls into a different race, but some people clearly do.
How they present that can be, and clearly is, an issue. As I said, I don't necessarily agree with how people put that stuff across on profiles and/or their reasoning - but I personally wouldn't label them as racist. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist.lol well you got that wrong thats exactly what it is, i get you're not attracted and thats fine but as soon as you put it on your profile thats about race, so you could by virtue of that see why some not all might be offended, cutting the messages down, saving time are just not good enough reasons for putting it on your profile
First of all, to clarify, this subject isn't about us or relate to us. We don't reject people based on skin tone nor say so on our profile.
Onto the subject, you just said.. it's racist if they're not attracted to a certain skin tone. But it's fine if they're not.. until they say on their profile. Then it's racist.
That doesn't even make sense.
How people word things is key, and that's where the offense can come in. People need to be careful how they say things, and not be insensitive to people's feelings. But as we all see, people word things very bluntly on their profiles when it comes to preferences.
People saying "tall guys only" "big cocks only" "BBC only" appears on a fair few profile. That could also offend people.
I'm not arguing that people can't get offended, or whether or not people should state things like that on their profile.. I'm saying it doesn't automatically make someone racist. as soon as you talk about skin colour or cop out tone and discount a person because of it thats racism end of, when i said " its fine if theyre not" that was me saying i don't mind one way or the other I'm just debating what i feel is racist, I'm not racist and don't discount a partner on the basis of skin pigment, tone or colour but to save on messages and to save wasting peoples time by putting said statement on a profile is not politically correct and those reasons are not acceptable
It's not discounting them in any other way other than as a sexual partner. It doesn't automatically make them a racist, I feel.
I don't think it's impossible to not be attracted to everyone that falls into a different race, but some people clearly do.
How they present that can be, and clearly is, an issue. As I said, I don't necessarily agree with how people put that stuff across on profiles and/or their reasoning - but I personally wouldn't label them as racist. " ok well thats a fair statement and how its worded can be a factor but the stock " no blacks or Asians" or with the additional" sorry not attracted" is racist imo no need to mention colour just dont reply to the messages |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist.lol well you got that wrong thats exactly what it is, i get you're not attracted and thats fine but as soon as you put it on your profile thats about race, so you could by virtue of that see why some not all might be offended, cutting the messages down, saving time are just not good enough reasons for putting it on your profile
First of all, to clarify, this subject isn't about us or relate to us. We don't reject people based on skin tone nor say so on our profile.
Onto the subject, you just said.. it's racist if they're not attracted to a certain skin tone. But it's fine if they're not.. until they say on their profile. Then it's racist.
That doesn't even make sense.
How people word things is key, and that's where the offense can come in. People need to be careful how they say things, and not be insensitive to people's feelings. But as we all see, people word things very bluntly on their profiles when it comes to preferences.
People saying "tall guys only" "big cocks only" "BBC only" appears on a fair few profile. That could also offend people.
I'm not arguing that people can't get offended, or whether or not people should state things like that on their profile.. I'm saying it doesn't automatically make someone racist. as soon as you talk about skin colour or cop out tone and discount a person because of it thats racism end of, when i said " its fine if theyre not" that was me saying i don't mind one way or the other I'm just debating what i feel is racist, I'm not racist and don't discount a partner on the basis of skin pigment, tone or colour but to save on messages and to save wasting peoples time by putting said statement on a profile is not politically correct and those reasons are not acceptable
It's not discounting them in any other way other than as a sexual partner. It doesn't automatically make them a racist, I feel.
I don't think it's impossible to not be attracted to everyone that falls into a different race, but some people clearly do.
How they present that can be, and clearly is, an issue. As I said, I don't necessarily agree with how people put that stuff across on profiles and/or their reasoning - but I personally wouldn't label them as racist. ok well thats a fair statement and how its worded can be a factor but the stock " no blacks or Asians" or with the additional" sorry not attracted" is racist imo no need to mention colour just dont reply to the messages "
I agree is much more considerate to not say anything, but sadly people aren't always considerate. Whether that's on here or in the real world. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The wording could be better, but.. they don't want to sleep with black people and they're letting them know so they don't waste their time.
The amount of profiles that say "black guys only" or "only looking for BBC" don't appear to get mentioned or called up being racist..
Because they aren’t being racist. You know it’s only white people (I hate using that phrase) with a fantasy that put that on their profile. And obviously they aren’t being racist against Caucasian people
And the people in question are not being racist by not being attracted to certain skin tones.
How people word it, if they choose to, is obviously not easy and some people clearly do it quite straightforward.
If you ask these people, it’s not the skin tone that bothers them (though i would still say that’s weird). It’s their assumptions that people of a certain skin colour act a certain way. Wait and see - these threads always take the same turn
That's a massive generalisation and just not true.
Some people are not attracted to certain skin tones. That isn't racist.lol well you got that wrong thats exactly what it is, i get you're not attracted and thats fine but as soon as you put it on your profile thats about race, so you could by virtue of that see why some not all might be offended, cutting the messages down, saving time are just not good enough reasons for putting it on your profile
First of all, to clarify, this subject isn't about us or relate to us. We don't reject people based on skin tone nor say so on our profile.
Onto the subject, you just said.. it's racist if they're not attracted to a certain skin tone. But it's fine if they're not.. until they say on their profile. Then it's racist.
That doesn't even make sense.
How people word things is key, and that's where the offense can come in. People need to be careful how they say things, and not be insensitive to people's feelings. But as we all see, people word things very bluntly on their profiles when it comes to preferences.
People saying "tall guys only" "big cocks only" "BBC only" appears on a fair few profile. That could also offend people.
I'm not arguing that people can't get offended, or whether or not people should state things like that on their profile.. I'm saying it doesn't automatically make someone racist. as soon as you talk about skin colour or cop out tone and discount a person because of it thats racism end of, when i said " its fine if theyre not" that was me saying i don't mind one way or the other I'm just debating what i feel is racist, I'm not racist and don't discount a partner on the basis of skin pigment, tone or colour but to save on messages and to save wasting peoples time by putting said statement on a profile is not politically correct and those reasons are not acceptable
It's not discounting them in any other way other than as a sexual partner. It doesn't automatically make them a racist, I feel.
I don't think it's impossible to not be attracted to everyone that falls into a different race, but some people clearly do.
How they present that can be, and clearly is, an issue. As I said, I don't necessarily agree with how people put that stuff across on profiles and/or their reasoning - but I personally wouldn't label them as racist. ok well thats a fair statement and how its worded can be a factor but the stock " no blacks or Asians" or with the additional" sorry not attracted" is racist imo no need to mention colour just dont reply to the messages
I agree is much more considerate to not say anything, but sadly people aren't always considerate. Whether that's on here or in the real world. " yes some people are thoughtless, i try not to be but sometimes the written word catches you out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I accept that some people seem to find the term "Blacks'" acceptable and find myself wondering if they would feel the same if the term "No spastics" or "No cripples" was used, after all it's just labeling a a group of people you do not want to meet. I just find it strange that people find the term "Blacks'" acceptable in these enlightened times. Maybe like another very westernised country we really are going back to more unpleasant times. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I just saw a profile and at the bottom it said "No blacks" ( I am struggling to even write that comment in this post). Surely that sort of attitude is reminiscent of times long gone. I for one find it truly awful to see such prejudice, yes everyone has preferences but surely there is no need to be so derogatory or demeaning. "
You also have to remember women are bombarded on fab ... so potentially she’s had a bad experience of pushy or abusive black men or had a meet with one that went sour ? Many reasons why ... sometimes being really blunt is the only way to get though to the ones who are so persistent that NO means YES to them .... What you consider as rude they may not ... people love to bash others online being keyboard warriors so I’d just ignore it move to the next profile .... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
You also have to remember women are bombarded on fab ... so potentially she’s had a bad experience of pushy or abusive black men or had a meet with one that went sour ?"
So that's a reason for offensively describing a whole race of men?
I'm a white female and encountered pushy/rude men of all persuasions, I'm afraid it's an occupational hazard for women with an interest in this lifestyle. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic