FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why do people do this
Why do people do this
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We get a message " would you like to meet" from a couple. We arrange a time and they give us a post code and ask us to call when we arrive in the area. An hour or two before we are due to arrive we get several messages eventually calling off the meeting.They are verified and have had some meetings. They were trying to get us to cancel . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a meet tonight but his profile has been deleted so am staying home, need to change my deodorant maybe  
Seriously perhaps they have had a better offer or just don't want to come, got cold feet or perhaps a fake profile, it happens, move on and block them, their loss, someone else's gain  |
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"We get a message " would you like to meet" from a couple. We arrange a time and they give us a post code and ask us to call when we arrive in the area. An hour or two before we are due to arrive we get several messages eventually calling off the meeting.They are verified and have had some meetings. They were trying to get us to cancel ."
Speak and get the address before you make any plans next time, problem solved, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes we are moving on and will block them. It's the bad manners we really hate.
How is it bad manners if they contacted you and cancelled the meet? It's not like they just didn't turn up "
They said they would be there and cancelled at the last minute I can understandably see why your pissed off. Move to Inverness we need more swingers XXXXXXXXXXXX |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"We get a message " would you like to meet" from a couple. We arrange a time and they give us a post code and ask us to call when we arrive in the area. An hour or two before we are due to arrive we get several messages eventually calling off the meeting.They are verified and have had some meetings. They were trying to get us to cancel ."
They called off the meet before you set off.
Therefore, NOT timewasters and THEIR perogative.
So what that they had verifications and meetings........ they obviously changed their minds about meeting you.
And after your rant....... I bet they are glad they did.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Still rude of them though...who knows what plans the OP had made, ie childcare etc...left in the lurch with no meet...it is rude, and people would should be ashamed of themselves if they think otherwise...glad they had the decency to let you know though...much much worse and even more maddening when they dont...ignore the negatives, you have every right to complain xx |
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right so....from now on if you decide to meet someone, you HAVE to meet them, even if you feel like its not what you want, even if you are throwing up all over the place, even if you great great great great aunt sally is in hospital???
het real, they got the willies about something and decided it wasnt for them and cancelled BEFORE the meet.
Childcare can be cancelled if its a babysitter, if they have been sent to family then enjoy the evening in together or get on here ad find another fuck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"right so....from now on if you decide to meet someone, you HAVE to meet them, even if you feel like its not what you want, even if you are throwing up all over the place, even if you great great great great aunt sally is in hospital???
het real, they got the willies about something and decided it wasnt for them and cancelled BEFORE the meet.
Childcare can be cancelled if its a babysitter, if they have been sent to family then enjoy the evening in together or get on here ad find another fuck"
I understand your point, but still it is very annoying and really rude...if youve no intention of meeting someone, then dont arrange to meet them and stop dreaming and wasting people's time...simples!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The OP hasn't stated if they gave a reason....if they gave a reason, then surely it isn't timewasting as they gave advanced notice. i had to do that to a couple a few months back and was therefore called a timewaster etc etc, but i had genuine reasons. if they did not give the OP a reason, then that is not on really. even if they got cold feet or regretted arranging the meet, they could have had the decency to say that. cancelling can have a negative impact on someones self-esteem which is unecassary and unfair. just be honest about this lifestyle and it would be a much happier place |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a perfect example of why we choose to only meet and play in clubs - too many time wasters and fakes and at least at a club you know it's real and don't end up wasting your time !
Of course there may well be reasons for calling off a meet , an hour or two before arranged time but at a club there are plenty more fish in the sea ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could have been worse, you could have turned up their house and they pretend not to be in..... Happend to us when we 1st started lol. But won't bore you all with that story |
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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
"The OP hasn't stated if they gave a reason....if they gave a reason, then surely it isn't timewasting as they gave advanced notice. i had to do that to a couple a few months back and was therefore called a timewaster etc etc, but i had genuine reasons. if they did not give the OP a reason, then that is not on really. even if they got cold feet or regretted arranging the meet, they could have had the decency to say that. cancelling can have a negative impact on someones self-esteem which is unecassary and unfair. just be honest about this lifestyle and it would be a much happier place "
This type of response immediately tells us the poster is indeed a good egg and the courteous, respectful type of person that we look to meet.
Well said. Couldn't have said it any better or fairer ourselves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
This type of response immediately tells us the poster is indeed a good egg and the courteous, respectful type of person that we look to meet.
Well said. Couldn't have said it any better or fairer ourselves."
u have now made my christmas card list  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Could have been worse, you could have turned up their house and they pretend not to be in..... Happend to us when we 1st started lol. But won't bore you all with that story "
Do tell, do tell... I cannot believe people having someone as nice looking as you two standing on their doorstep would pretend they were out. |
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"
I understand your point, but still it is very annoying and really rude...if youve no intention of meeting someone, then dont arrange to meet them and stop dreaming and wasting people's time...simples!!"
Erm, you're making a LOT of assumptions there! You don't know they had no intention of meeting. We have no idea what could have happened. Have you never had to cancel an appointment in your life because life got in the way?
And you think it's RUDE to cancel a meet? *shakes head in disbelief* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You know, if you believe all that is written in the forums on this subject, why do people pick to meet others who just let them down our piss them off
Yet there are genuine people (like myself) who have they own place and don't piss people about for whom arranging a meet is like ice skating uphill. Should I just start acting like a soulless uncaring twunt, because from the amount of moaning it seems they have no problems getting that much interest they can fuck people about. |
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By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago
Nr Chester |
"
This type of response immediately tells us the poster is indeed a good egg and the courteous, respectful type of person that we look to meet.
Well said. Couldn't have said it any better or fairer ourselves.
u have now made my christmas card list "
No worries. Nice part of the country Truro too. I miss Cornwall & Newquay. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
u have now made my christmas card list
No worries. Nice part of the country Truro too. I miss Cornwall & Newquay. "
ahhhh, you originally from cornwall? i love newquay, although i don't get to go there very often. it is one of the better areas of this country, however...the government and their silly taxes etc have made me crave a move abroad  only prob is, i'd miss going to see man utd play at old trafford (think i'd get the shakes after a while lol). (sorry to converse on this post, but your profile rejected an attempt to message). regarding these forum posts...you don't very often see positive discussions do ya haha everyone needs some happy pills or a change of governement (have you guessed i hate our countries leaders yet?)  |
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By *isub69Man
over a year ago
Epsom |
It happens a lot on this site.
Yes things come up and I think it is always better to give someone the benefit of being genuine.
Although when they let you down and then block you at least you know they are one to cross of the list  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a cusion who got together with a few of his mates and set up profiles. They then started tomail people and set them up for meets then video them so they could all have a laff. All was well untill he bunked out one night and my auntie called the police cus they couldn't find him. He was found at a bus station with his mates then the truth came out in what they were up to. It's a bit funny but that's the kind of thing that can happen here. Sometimes it's best to check veris on different pages to see if people are not just giving veris to their mates. There's a few profiles on here that have the same pics and not the party type of pic. Some of the fakers on here are real cleaver. |
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People have a change of heart for many reasons, wether it be a family crisis to cold feet (and many more reasons inbetween). We would rather they cancel than just not turn up, it can be frustrating and dissapointing, but thats life.
When we are travelling for a meet and having to book hotel for night, we always have a back up plan. We would check out restrants or anything else that can be done in that area, so if meet has been cancelled we can always gho do something else. |
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By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"We get a message " would you like to meet" from a couple. We arrange a time and they give us a post code and ask us to call when we arrive in the area. An hour or two before we are due to arrive we get several messages eventually calling off the meeting.They are verified and have had some meetings. They were trying to get us to cancel ."
My doc prescribed some medication yesterday. It has given me the shits. Some people would say that's more information than a potential meet requires. It'd be a good reason to cancel a meet, but I might not share it.
Life's too short - move on... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Let's be clear. We started this message to raise discussion not to be unkind. This couple did this before.Several messages throughout the day culminating in canceling. No reason except to encourage us to cancel. This last episode was " I've got work in the morning". They knew that 12 hours previous when they arranged it. And by the way it was not a last minute call to work. Of course we understand what FAB is about. We will move on and we are intrigued more than angry |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I often watch how threads turn into peoples obsession to be right about everything
They have to be heard so they shout the loudest ... sadly to me it shows a nasty side to a personality
This is just an observation on things Ive read this morning .... 
Keep smiling anyway |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why would decide to meet someone if you are not 100% firstly that you WILL actually meet them......this is where timewasting and misunderstandings are born.
Our advice to all is just be honest...you are allowed to say 'no' just the same as anyone else and if your 'friends' get shirty....walk away.
Honesty is the best and should be the only policy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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speak to the mrs on the phone before arranging anything and this will probally cut out most of these time wasters, if they are unwilling then just move onto new people! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The anticipation of what lies ahead when you've arranged a meet is part of the fun. But for some the chase is more exciting than the catch.
We had a meet cancel 45 mins before the arranged time a while ago - that really pissed us off as they gave no real reason 
But hey ho, it's the nature of the game isn't it?
P&Cxx
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"We get a message " would you like to meet" from a couple. We arrange a time and they give us a post code and ask us to call when we arrive in the area. An hour or two before we are due to arrive we get several messages eventually calling off the meeting.They are verified and have had some meetings. They were trying to get us to cancel ."
wow, looking at your profile pics why on earth would anyboby want to cancel on you xxxx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well we used to find it happens when i used to be in a couple when first on here, and in my experieience it was usually down to speaking mainly to one of the couple (usually the guy) and sometimes they kinda showed true colours and the mrs didnt really know about it till the last minute and obviosuily didnt want to and then excuses come into play!
so thats why always good to speak to both on the phone and while your there you can gauge them for being reliable and up for it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a cusion who got together with a few of his mates and set up profiles. They then started tomail people and set them up for meets then video them so they could all have a laff. All was well untill he bunked out one night and my auntie called the police cus they couldn't find him. He was found at a bus station with his mates then the truth came out in what they were up to. It's a bit funny but that's the kind of thing that can happen here. Sometimes it's best to check veris on different pages to see if people are not just giving veris to their mates. There's a few profiles on here that have the same pics and not the party type of pic. Some of the fakers on here are real cleaver. "
That's the same kind of thing that someone else started a thread about and got shot down with a load of abuse. He thought that a profile was fake as it was a group of people that had verified each other. I'm glad you posted that, because you have proof that it does happen.
A lot of people were saying that maybe it was a group of friends that knew each other from clubs, and were saying the OP was nasty for insinuating they may be fake. That is of course possible. But also there is obviously a chance that it could be a group of people messing about like you said.
OP, from reading more of what you've said about them cancelling before, it sounds like you are entitled to be pissed off on this occasion. Again, people can have genuine reasons to cancel but it does sound like they were messing you around on purpose. Hope you find someone nicer next time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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try arranging a meet getting to the person's house and them ( a single female still on here) saying they had changed their mind but could i go to the chippy to get some chips before i left!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"try arranging a meet getting to the person's house and them ( a single female still on here) saying they had changed their mind but could i go to the chippy to get some chips before i left!!!"
hahahahahaha now that I love. What a cheek but you have to applaud her audacity |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I understand your point, but still it is very annoying and really rude...if youve no intention of meeting someone, then dont arrange to meet them and stop dreaming and wasting people's time...simples!!
Erm, you're making a LOT of assumptions there! You don't know they had no intention of meeting. We have no idea what could have happened. Have you never had to cancel an appointment in your life because life got in the way?
And you think it's RUDE to cancel a meet? *shakes head in disbelief*"
Yes I do, particularly under these circumstances with no good reason...its your prerogative if you find that acceptable, but i dont...and keep shaking your head like that and eventually it will fall off |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"try arranging a meet getting to the person's house and them ( a single female still on here) saying they had changed their mind but could i go to the chippy to get some chips before i left!!!"
you know i could murder some right now...fancy a jolly jape to Yorkshire? |
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"try arranging a meet getting to the person's house and them ( a single female still on here) saying they had changed their mind but could i go to the chippy to get some chips before i left!!!"
Lmaooooooooooooo what a feckin cheek!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get a message " would you like to meet" from a couple. We arrange a time and they give us a post code and ask us to call when we arrive in the area. An hour or two before we are due to arrive we get several messages eventually calling off the meeting.They are verified and have had some meetings. They were trying to get us to cancel ."
Well I would not let you down, so if you ever fancy a meet I am just down the road |
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By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"Thanks for the constructive replies everyone x.This was not about anger more about why people do this "
I get that, but it's an impossible question. the reasons could be simple, or down to earth (like my suggestion above) or incredibly complicated. It might be that they have a change of heart, and start making up excuses at the last minute, or they could have been bullshitters all along. How the hell do you know?
Saying 'just move on' is just shorthand for saying 'you'll never know' - and it's probably helpful advice since speculation isn't productive... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would never consider meeting someone without a decent phone conversation. In messages you get some information but its no substitute for talking in person. It just seems rather foolish to us to travel to meet without actually talking to someone. |
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