FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > what do you need to be involved or is the site rife with timewasters
what do you need to be involved or is the site rife with timewasters
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By *coobys OP Man
over a year ago
north west lancs |
Can anyone please tell me how you get an invite, perhaps look at my profile and give me pointers to where i am going wrong. I am a healthy decent bloke who wants to have some fun, respect is assured, i cannot understand i have tried messaging very nice, tried talking about myself, tried rude and raunchy nothing seems to work. Also when i visit clubs lots of couples seem to me to resent single guys. I would love to be part of a swinging couple and those of you are want to feel lucky, because being single and a guy you are on the outside. Any pointers will help thanks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is this your first profile? It might feel it but 2 weeks isn't a long time at all. Think of this as being a new local pub, you'd not expect to be best mates with everyone after that length of time. Join in on the forums and get to clubs and socials. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have only been on the site two weeks even couples don't usually get a meet that soon.You are also up against lots of other men plus alot of couples don't meet single guys.The best advice is to get yourself known by posting in the forums and chatting in the chat rooms. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm...where to start.
Personally, I think you need to manage your expectations. If after two weeks you are having a strop after a month you'll be apoplectic!
You're profile doesn't say much, apart from you wanting "your girls" to cater to your needs. I know I'm probably being unfair, but it's a personal view, I don't know what it is, but there's something about the tone of your profile that got my back up.
Sorry... |
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By *coobys OP Man
over a year ago
north west lancs |
Thanks for replies and yes 2 weeks is not long i know and i know there is a lot of competition. Sassymissuk thanks for your input would really value some more i thought my profile was ok, obviously not but would like to know what i should change, i am going to change my wording thanks again, i do not do offended so any help or advice is great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple who rarely meet single men off here, due to an inability for the majority of them to pen a profile that captivates and intrigues us, wanting us to know more about them. Single guys in the main have profiles saying 'single, looking for fun etc. The guys with a big cock advertises as W/E or V/WE and the ones that are either average or below endowed, profess how good they are at giving oral for hours and have 'magic fingers'!...Too 'samey'.
Putting ' I like women to make an effort' is a little condescending as its extremely rare anyone will turn up unbathed and unkempt. Another off-putting thing for us is bad grammar and poor spelling..if you cant spend effort on getting a profile correct, then we won't meet as we assume you'll put the same effort (or lack of it) into your conversation and 'performance'. Dont 'big' yourself up too much as over confidence can be easily misconstrued as arrogance.
Just a few tips that we would like to see implemented on single guys profiles.
Have fun, dont be too eager and remember...single guys are 2 a penny...you need to be different and stand out from the rest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually being a couple ain't always rosey mate
4 people have to like eachother and get on
I've been both single and couples and to be honest never really found much difference in being able to meet
Swinging is very much like real life sometimes the expectations of being on a site don't match up to how many newbies or vanillas see swinging
It's not all orgys and debauchery lol
It takes time and patience
Good luck xx |
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By *coobys OP Man
over a year ago
north west lancs |
hoping to go to a social this weekend thanks for all help, thats why i posted, i did not really expect to have any repies yet, but wanted pointers helping me create a better profile etc, thanks again anymore input will be welcomed tom. |
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By *waymanMan
over a year ago
newcastle |
"hoping to go to a social this weekend thanks for all help, thats why i posted, i did not really expect to have any repies yet, but wanted pointers helping me create a better profile etc, thanks again anymore input will be welcomed tom."
Two things.
Your original message, your profile and this latest message are all harder to read than they need to be.
Use punctutaion. Use paragraphs, capital letters where appropriate and short sentences. Work on your voice in your writing. You sound a little detached, and a little unfriendly, when I suspect you're a nice bloke who's trying to sound more confident and assertive than he actually is.
Drop the bit about being willing to meet a f/f couple from your profile. You may as well post that you'd like to shag a unicorn.
Good luck. |
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Oh and don't start a thread moaning... That'll be the kiss of death too.... Oh....
I got the impression you'd already been to a club? The very fact you must have gone on a night where singles are allowed would suggest that any couples there were aware of this too and as such are usually comfortable with this environment or obviously actively wanting to be in it. The fact you say they are not intrested in single guys is like saying I've been to 50 interviews but can't get a job, some will see that as doing your best, others will see it as, if nobody else wants him and they've met him, there must be something not very attractive there.
Do you see my point? You're kind of giving yourself a self serving prophecy... Don't worry you're not alone, and by the end of the day there will be someone else to take tge focus away.
I'm trying to be constructive in highlighting how some will have got an impression of you already and how you really need to think about how you act on line as it's all here to be thrown against you at a later date..;-).
Also as others have said, get a realistic grip on expectations. There are a lot of guys who get it right - its far from impossible.
Good luck.
D |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as a single guy the one thing youn need is thick skin and PATIENCE tbh most of us have no chance of a meet really ,too many single guys and most are timewasters leaving us genuine guys with no chance .but keep trying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple that do meet single guys there are a few things that do catch our eye!
A good well written profile with body pics and face pic available to send,
also the very first message is something that needs to be eye catching!!
There are So many single guys to choose from you really do have to stand out!
As someone mentioned above get yourself to socials and maybe join in with the forums now and then
good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a couple that do meet single guys there are a few things that do catch our eye!
A good well written profile with body pics and face pic available to send,
also the very first message is something that needs to be eye catching!!
There are So many single guys to choose from you really do have to stand out!
As someone mentioned above get yourself to socials and maybe join in with the forums now and then
good luck"
Nice pic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can anyone please tell me how you get an invite, perhaps look at my profile and give me pointers to where i am going wrong. I am a healthy decent bloke who wants to have some fun, respect is assured, i cannot understand i have tried messaging very nice, tried talking about myself, tried rude and raunchy nothing seems to work. Also when i visit clubs lots of couples seem to me to resent single guys. I would love to be part of a swinging couple and those of you are want to feel lucky, because being single and a guy you are on the outside. Any pointers will help thanks."
Ok it doesn't really stand out and is very much like many others on here. I am assuming you have changed bits from advice given above which will have changed it from a bad profile to acceptable but and its a big but its very similar to many others out there.
There is nothing wrong with taking advice but also remember to put some of yourself into it to make it different. |
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"u mean people actually have sex here??
well not actually on here cos its a computer site but have been know to have sex in other places "
So your saying people are having sex elsewhere!!!!!!!!!!, so there's no actual point in being on here then, ...... now the truth comes out......therefore the only timewaster round here is this site!
I knew it!
Hehe.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Totally with Sassy on this one if you refer to women as 'your girls' it sets alarm bells ringing loud and clear"
Is there a danger here of grooming people that write honest profiles into writing dishonest ones in order to meet people?
I mean, if you take on board the advice and then you end up with a completely different profile that makes no sense to the writer, but attracts a response, isn't that wrong?
It's why my profile is like it is - and it isn't changing. if you don't like the humour, I'm not for you - that's only fair, and I though it was the whole point of your own "personal" profile.
If we all write "grey" ones then how do we get to choose?
This is written, of course, with the supreme arrogance of an unverified newbie... |
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By *coobys OP Man
over a year ago
north west lancs |
wow some great advice thanks to all of you who have contributed. I hope i have not offended anyone on here or alienated myself from possible meets. I guess once i have feedback saying that i am genuine and fun to be around, i will be seen in a better light. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Totally with Sassy on this one if you refer to women as 'your girls' it sets alarm bells ringing loud and clear
Is there a danger here of grooming people that write honest profiles into writing dishonest ones in order to meet people?
I mean, if you take on board the advice and then you end up with a completely different profile that makes no sense to the writer, but attracts a response, isn't that wrong?
It's why my profile is like it is - and it isn't changing. if you don't like the humour, I'm not for you - that's only fair, and I though it was the whole point of your own "personal" profile.
If we all write "grey" ones then how do we get to choose?
This is written, of course, with the supreme arrogance of an unverified newbie... "
the problem is, you know you, nobody else does. and unless you make yourself attractive to those people that arent your immediate friends and dont 'get you' straight away without getting to know you first, im afraid you may just stay an unverified newbie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can anyone please tell me how you get an invite, perhaps look at my profile and give me pointers to where i am going wrong. I am a healthy decent bloke who wants to have some fun, respect is assured, i cannot understand i have tried messaging very nice, tried talking about myself, tried rude and raunchy nothing seems to work. Also when i visit clubs lots of couples seem to me to resent single guys. I would love to be part of a swinging couple and those of you are want to feel lucky, because being single and a guy you are on the outside. Any pointers will help thanks."
There is no formula, magic want or secret way as different things work for different men. Be polite, take on board what people suggest but be yourself. |
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"as a single guy the one thing youn need is thick skin and PATIENCE tbh most of us have no chance of a meet really ,too many single guys and most are timewasters leaving us genuine guys with no chance .but keep trying "
That's two things But two fair points, nonetheless!
Not sure I agree with the rest of your post though - the way I see it, the more eejits and fantasists there are on here, the better my odds. Such people aren't hard to spot, especially after a while.. which means nice ladies and couples filter them out, leaving.. me! (And, he grudgingly admits, a few other half decent blokes as well. I suppose!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Totally with Sassy on this one if you refer to women as 'your girls' it sets alarm bells ringing loud and clear
Is there a danger here of grooming people that write honest profiles into writing dishonest ones in order to meet people?
I mean, if you take on board the advice and then you end up with a completely different profile that makes no sense to the writer, but attracts a response, isn't that wrong?
It's why my profile is like it is - and it isn't changing. if you don't like the humour, I'm not for you - that's only fair, and I though it was the whole point of your own "personal" profile.
If we all write "grey" ones then how do we get to choose?
This is written, of course, with the supreme arrogance of an unverified newbie...
the problem is, you know you, nobody else does. and unless you make yourself attractive to those people that arent your immediate friends and dont 'get you' straight away without getting to know you first, im afraid you may just stay an unverified newbie."
This is true, and may well happen to me - although I am working on it - lol.
My point is that if a profile warns a woman off (and in my case it has done so) then that woman has made a decision based on how I present myself - not on "advised bullshit" in order to con her into a meet. How many women could Jeffrey Dahmer have met with advice like blokes get off this site?
I'm not suggesting that the OP is a new Dahmer, before someone rips me a new asshole - just that we all present differently, just like in a nightclub. If you are uneasy, move along, someone else will love him.
I took advice off a lovely woman once about my profile (it offended her) but that is not the intention and it is obvious that we should not meet.
We have made our peace and I think that we like each other - but we ain't gonna meet until she gets the joke. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Totally with Sassy on this one if you refer to women as 'your girls' it sets alarm bells ringing loud and clear
Is there a danger here of grooming people that write honest profiles into writing dishonest ones in order to meet people?
I mean, if you take on board the advice and then you end up with a completely different profile that makes no sense to the writer, but attracts a response, isn't that wrong?
It's why my profile is like it is - and it isn't changing. if you don't like the humour, I'm not for you - that's only fair, and I though it was the whole point of your own "personal" profile.
If we all write "grey" ones then how do we get to choose?
This is written, of course, with the supreme arrogance of an unverified newbie...
the problem is, you know you, nobody else does. and unless you make yourself attractive to those people that arent your immediate friends and dont 'get you' straight away without getting to know you first, im afraid you may just stay an unverified newbie.
This is true, and may well happen to me - although I am working on it - lol.
My point is that if a profile warns a woman off (and in my case it has done so) then that woman has made a decision based on how I present myself - not on "advised bullshit" in order to con her into a meet. How many women could Jeffrey Dahmer have met with advice like blokes get off this site?
I'm not suggesting that the OP is a new Dahmer, before someone rips me a new asshole - just that we all present differently, just like in a nightclub. If you are uneasy, move along, someone else will love him.
I took advice off a lovely woman once about my profile (it offended her) but that is not the intention and it is obvious that we should not meet.
We have made our peace and I think that we like each other - but we ain't gonna meet until she gets the joke."
completely appretiate that, but your profile has only got to outline yourself, let people know who you are and what you offer.
more of yourself will come out on a meet/in chats/in messages, as it should be.
there should be some left to discover.
ateotd, if you are your mates greet each other in a particular way, you would NEVER approach a woman in a bar, that you liked, and grab her round the neck while screaming 'how are ya ,ya auld cunt!!!!!'
get what i mean? |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Can anyone please tell me how you get an invite, perhaps look at my profile and give me pointers to where i am going wrong. I am a healthy decent bloke who wants to have some fun, respect is assured, i cannot understand i have tried messaging very nice, tried talking about myself, tried rude and raunchy nothing seems to work. Also when i visit clubs lots of couples seem to me to resent single guys. I would love to be part of a swinging couple and those of you are want to feel lucky, because being single and a guy you are on the outside. Any pointers will help thanks."
Let me ask YOU a question......
Did you think it would be easy to get a shag on here?
And if you did....... why did you think it would be easy? |
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By *coobys OP Man
over a year ago
north west lancs |
Madchick i did not think it would be easy to get a shag on here. I only heard about the site by being at a swingers club, until then i did not know it exsisted. I do however enjoy sex and giving a woman pleasure excites me. If i am lucky enough to be invited to a party or a meet, i will try my best to be polite, respectful and give as much pleasure as i can should aq female require me to do so. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Madchick i did not think it would be easy to get a shag on here. I only heard about the site by being at a swingers club, until then i did not know it exsisted. I do however enjoy sex and giving a woman pleasure excites me. If i am lucky enough to be invited to a party or a meet, i will try my best to be polite, respectful and give as much pleasure as i can should aq female require me to do so."
Ok then, you tried the swinging scene before joining FAB.
However, it can take up to a year to get a meet from a swinging site and you've been here little more than 2 weeks.
unless your profile says something different and your pictures show something different to the thousands and thousands of other single men on here....... you will have to be patient.
Otherwise, work on your profile and your pictures and maybe you will have luck more quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmmmm quit bloody moaning lol this place is full of moaners saying please help me I cant get a meet lol NO ONE is garunteed to get meets dude just becoause you join up on here dont mean its a shag fest and every one wants to meet you lol. Get over it or kleave already and go out on the pull |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry I dont mean to have a go and its nothing personal at the op but I just get sick and tired of seing rants like these moaning sayin I cant get a meet why please help me.
Its like call the samaritans or some one who gives a fuck yeah! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am free most thursday evenings and at least one night over the weekend... is this cos of work or kids??? some ppl maybe put off that you are only free 2 nights a week.. ie a married bloke |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think you come across nice . And i hope you send a face pics out with your letters to people you wish to meet as most will not meet with out one. Yes theres loads of singles on sites like this people can pick .. so make sure your letters and worth reading you send and get to know people .. and have a look at the swing clubs as most have mixed nights and are fun . x xjo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its like call the samaritans or some one who gives a fuck yeah!"
I think that the basic problem for us men is that whether we like it or not women control the roost. They have the power, and some (no, actually most) on here like to demonstrate that simple fact (like we didn't know - duh!). It's not a mature site, because it is populated by immature people that can't hold a conversation without comparing the size of their dick (and that's only the women!)
I just messaged someone to say that if you don't read the message then you can't make a decision. That was the ONLY message that was answered - with a rather lame "well, i didn't put it on my profile but I only like really well muscled and huge guys..." Well, put it on your bloody profile and save everyone a lot of time."
It's not rocket science! Duh! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think that the basic problem for us men is that whether we like it or not women control the roost. They have the power, and some (no, actually most) on here like to demonstrate that simple fact (like we didn't know - duh!). It's not a mature site, because it is populated by immature people that can't hold a conversation without comparing the size of their dick (and that's only the women!)
"
4 weeks. 4 weeks you've been a member and you have been able to assess the whole site in that time.
Still good to see you hold the women on here in such high regard (which does prompt the question why stick around?), elsewwhere you've started a thread about not getting meets, I suspect the attitude displayed in this post may be a factor in that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its like call the samaritans or some one who gives a fuck yeah!
I think that the basic problem for us men is that whether we like it or not women control the roost. They have the power, and some (no, actually most) on here like to demonstrate that simple fact (like we didn't know - duh!). It's not a mature site, because it is populated by immature people that can't hold a conversation without comparing the size of their dick (and that's only the women!)"
not at all.
the biggest problem facing SOME men on here is the previlence of uniminative, self centred penises with small minded, bigotted men attached to them, that think that because they are 'hung', 'fit' or 'funny' and can make a profile on a swinging site they deserve to have someone come and worship at thier feet.
well, might i tel you, this site is reflective of real life. women hold the upper hand. whoever said women were the weaker sex has shit for brains because i have never met a weak woman in my entire life.
and, better than us men, women can se through bullshit like a hawk searching for a mouse.
so, good profile or bad it makes no difference, you are just not attractive to some, end of, game over, see ya later, bubye then.
shit me, im sick to death of reading these threads now, and i have only just started with the forums... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so, good profile or bad it makes no difference, you are just not attractive to some, end of, game over, see ya later, bubye then. shit me, im sick to death of reading these threads now, and i have only just started with the forums..."
So that's one for "women have always been in charge" and one for "men are wankers". Which is pretty much the same thing as what I said anyway.
I'm for the women being in charge - too much evidence to the contrary as far as I am concerned.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"so, good profile or bad it makes no difference, you are just not attractive to some, end of, game over, see ya later, bubye then. shit me, im sick to death of reading these threads now, and i have only just started with the forums...
So that's one for "women have always been in charge" and one for "men are wankers". Which is pretty much the same thing as what I said anyway.
I'm for the women being in charge - too much evidence to the contrary as far as I am concerned.
"
Awwww shut up dude they got on ya case and told you off already lol dont be trying to back track now man you were sussed out ! hahaha |
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By *coobys OP Man
over a year ago
north west lancs |
The thread was started after i had tried to get meets, i am not expecting to score/shag all day every day, i was just asking for some pointers. Some peoples contributions have been great, some of the others need to lighten up a little i only wanted some positive constructive critiscm. Thanks though to all who have posted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thread was started after i had tried to get meets, i am not expecting to score/shag all day every day, i was just asking for some pointers. Some peoples contributions have been great, some of the others need to lighten up a little i only wanted some positive constructive critiscm. Thanks though to all who have posted."
Mate its not a counseling site for single blokes who cant get meets ya no lol try a club and get chatting to people in there or use the chat rooms to get talking. Or maybe try the exact word of actualy talking to women first as its not all about sex is it at the end of the day a good conversation and some banter goes along way lol anyhow sorry but I dont really care if you can or cant get a meet sorry dude nothing personal as I dont no ya but im just sick of reading rants from blokes crying cos they cant seem to get a shag its like so fuckin what man who cares just do one all ready then and close the door behind ya ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its like call the samaritans or some one who gives a fuck yeah!
I think that the basic problem for us men is that whether we like it or not women control the roost. They have the power, and some (no, actually most) on here like to demonstrate that simple fact (like we didn't know - duh!). It's not a mature site, because it is populated by immature people that can't hold a conversation without comparing the size of their dick (and that's only the women!)
not at all.
the biggest problem facing SOME men on here is the previlence of uniminative, self centred penises with small minded, bigotted men attached to them, that think that because they are 'hung', 'fit' or 'funny' and can make a profile on a swinging site they deserve to have someone come and worship at thier feet.
well, might i tel you, this site is reflective of real life. women hold the upper hand. whoever said women were the weaker sex has shit for brains because i have never met a weak woman in my entire life.
and, better than us men, women can se through bullshit like a hawk searching for a mouse.
so, good profile or bad it makes no difference, you are just not attractive to some, end of, game over, see ya later, bubye then.
shit me, im sick to death of reading these threads now, and i have only just started with the forums..."
I hope you aint getting me mixed up with Y FRONTS Joe whos avove and under your coment on here. He replied to my coment saying call the samaritans or some one who gives a fuck. The guy in the Y Fronts was having a rant at women being in charge not me lol personaly I think his coments were abit full on and uncalled for in a rant kind of way. I love women me as I cant iron without one!
I am having a go at the whingeing blokes on here as they do my feckin head in and I dont agree with them at all. Mind you I dont agree with anything or any one as im just a twat haha x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The thread was started after i had tried to get meets, i am not expecting to score/shag all day every day, i was just asking for some pointers. Some peoples contributions have been great, some of the others need to lighten up a little i only wanted some positive constructive critiscm. Thanks though to all who have posted."
You are naive.
When you post on an OPEN forum you will get varying points of view, some will be positive, some will not.
Starting a whining thread is off putting, compounding it by acting with petulance if the responses don't suit doesn't show you at your best: kinds of defeats the object of your post don't you think?
Generic, lazy profiles don't work. I've noticed you've changed it. Where before the tone irked it's now, well dull.
People live busy lives. Who has time to pull teeth to find out what you like or indulge in email tennis telling you "what they want to do to you?' I can assure you anyone that has the time to regal you with offers to tie you to their four poster with silk scarves and suck you like a Dyson is never going to meet you...I may be wrong...but I doubt it.
Our profiles are what will attract people initially...that said my OH had a one line profile and no pic.
Relax a little and good luck. |
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By *coobys OP Man
over a year ago
north west lancs |
opinions sassyminx but my profile now reflects the constructive points raised on here. Sorry it does not say that i like having fun in the plane with my lady before i skydive. I have loads of excitement to offer but i am not prepared to lie on my profile. As you say opinions thanks though goodbye yours dull tom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh right
haha I never get angry on here me lol I only come on to pake the tiss x"
Seems you are "track backing"
I can't fathom why the OP has been the subject of an uncalled for onslaught by a few contributors to this thread???
He asked for advice, he got feedback, he thanked those for the feedback and remained polite throughout despite some nasty comments being made.
To the OP, good on ya |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And nice to see the OP posting on the forums xx We need new people posting here .. xx Just be yourself and have fun getting to know some of the nice people and yes it may take a little time.. look at the party adds lots look for singles all over the uk. x |
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By *coobys OP Man
over a year ago
north west lancs |
Thanks Frock off and game4it your friendly advice does mean a lot to me. I am going to go to a few socials and club meets in the next few weeks/months, hopefully people will see my fun side and that i am open and honest, polite not pushy and fun to be around. From this i will hopefully be lucky enough to get some feedback which i feel will help me to be more accepted, thanks again for all posts tom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Nothing wrong with having fun in a plane kinky kitten. Are you up for it if so i will get my pilots licence and take you flying. I am sure auto pilot will come in handy ha ha"
well at least you can fly down here then as we are miles from each other |
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