FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > what on earth am i ment to do :(

what on earth am i ment to do :(

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

hello to all you new and established swingers out there.

I have a real problem and seriously need some advise.

Myself and my bf started swinging about a year ago and had a couple of mmf meets, which went fine, then we had a mmmfff which was great fun and all of us ladies were not comfortable seeing our guys with other women so it was agreed own partner fun and ff fun only.

We then had a mff meet with a couple of bounderies set to make me feel more comfortable, this was ok but under the influence of a few drinks i stupidly dropped one of my boundries and it played on my mind for ages after. I felt after this that maybe i wasnt ready for this. So now we have agreed to me having ff meets, and he can watch and take part but at this time just playing with me until i feel comfortable with it. The problem i have is knowing he wants more from this and wants to fully play, although he has agreed to my bounderies he keeps making suggestions and dropping hints im not comfortable with, even though he knows this upsets me.

I dont want it to end in a slanging match and wish i could see swinging in the fun way he does, but im just not ready for this yet.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

From this I am guessing and apologies if I am wrong that the boundary you set is you are not with him having full sex with the other female but that it is ok for you too, and that he is not totally happy with this.

Sounds to me like the both of you need to revisit the whole idea of swinging and do a bit more talking about it first.

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

So why not just give it all up... both of you.

It's meant to be fun... and by the sound of it, even when playing just by your rules and what you want, it still isn't trouble free fun for either of you.

Personally, I think it is a tad unfair for one partner to set all the rules and the other have to like it or lump it. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot.

You obviously can't cope with sharing and he seems to be unhappy about you having your cake and eating it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Girl-girl takes a special type of guy to be happy to sit it out..

We play in understanding of each others feeling and wishes, then again we have been together 10 years and our relationship is very strong!

You need to be able to trust each other fully.. you needs to be able to openly talk about things even if you dont see eye to eye, and respect each other wishes.

If he wants more than you.. and not able to respect your wishes (or vice versa), then is swinging together the right thing?

Are you right together?

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By *riendlymasseurMan over a year ago

birmingham Warwickshire &Worcestershire

Or just re establish your limits and stick to them. You won't be first it last. Hope you can sort it and relax again

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you need a referee or some one to chat to him whilst the two fems or getting it on in the best possible bean flicking of ways then I will volunteer

Perhaps reluctantly at first but if its to serve a purpose and help you out in your hour of need then I spose I can be happy to sit there and watch and take on board all concerns for future research purpose in the name of friendly fun swinging.

Would you mind awfully if I sucked on an orange whilst chocking my self and wanking off like a good un at the same time

Of course making your bf feel at ease with the benefit of my lack of wisdom. Providing I aint passed out that is

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By *adchickCouple over a year ago

Cyprus

"hello to all you new and established swingers out there.

I have a real problem and seriously need some advise.

I dont want it to end in a slanging match and wish i could see swinging in the fun way he does, but im just not ready for this yet."

WHY are you swinging?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Only you and your man can know all the ins and outs, but it sounds like a heart to heart is the best way forward. Hope it works out for you.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"hello to all you new and established swingers out there.

I have a real problem and seriously need some advise.

I dont want it to end in a slanging match and wish i could see swinging in the fun way he does, but im just not ready for this yet.

WHY are you swinging?"

i wondered this too...it should be fun, you have tried various things,it isnt working.

Is it fair for you to have sex with other ppl and him not?

Is it fair for him to pressurize ?

It might be that separate room swap where you go and do your own thing works...but talk very seriously about it first.

i have a bit of a theory that as swinging is getting mentioned more in the press people are thinking,ohh we will give that a try,and assume their discomfort and jealousy are something they will grow out of.

People i know who have successful swinging relationships tend to have been happy with it from the first, there boundaries tend to expand ,not contract, and sexual jealousy just isnt part of their make up.

Swinging is not something you "get used to" or "put up with".

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By *inkershoes69Woman over a year ago

maidstone

sounds very one sided to me, this isnt swinging

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"hello to all you new and established swingers out there.

I have a real problem and seriously need some advise.

I dont want it to end in a slanging match and wish i could see swinging in the fun way he does, but im just not ready for this yet."

it sounds like what you want is to have your cake and eat it, but not for him to have any cake at all.

the questions you have to ask yourself are

Why are you swinging?

Why are you unhappy with him playing with another woman?

and why are you continuing to put temptation in his face if its making you unhappy/uncomfortable that you know he wants more?

to me, a person is a person. female or male. if i was happy enough to play with a someone myself i wouldn't be unhappy for my partner to do the same but of course that's your personal thing and anyone else who feels differently not trying to change your mind but just food for thought.

We all change our boundaries as time goes on, did you enjoy it at the time or did you not at all?

we have done things that we didn't like or one of us didn't like so we just don't do them anymore and stay away from the situation by either making sure others are away of our rules or making sure we are clear with each other before we go into the situation and we ourselves don't usually drink on meets so we cant blame the booze for mishaps.

I hope you get your boundaries and your swinging stuff sorted out and start to actually enjoy the scene. its a great place, but it definitely involves alot of communication and honesty between the partners before, during and after play so you can both have the best possible experience! and the people you are playing with can have a great experience too !

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By *londeCazWoman over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"If you need a referee or some one to chat to him whilst the two fems or getting it on in the best possible bean flicking of ways then I will volunteer

Would you mind awfully if I sucked on an orange whilst chocking my self and wanking off like a good un at the same time

Of course making your bf feel at ease with the benefit of my lack of wisdom. Providing I aint passed out that is

pmfsl

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

take a break, reconsider and agree expectations/boundaries , if BOTH in FULL agreement... come back.

if not, have a great life being exclusive to each other.

good luck x

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