FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Cheating swingers
Cheating swingers
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *iRey OP Woman
over a year ago
Cheshire East |
This isn't really just for the couple's here, gathering opinions from the many 
Do you generally think swingers are less likely to cheat? I always thought my swinging relationship of 10 yeara was pretty secure. After all, when you're sexually open and play together with others why would there be wanderlust on either part?
I have just found out i was cheated on the whole 10 years  so it seems I was wrong on that one. Do you think it's possible, that even in a sexually open relationship, people can be true to one another? Or is everyone inherently just assholes?
Not bitter much  promise |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it is entirely possible to remain committed to your relationship while swinging and I know several couples who have swung for years and are dedicated to each other. I also believe that swingers are more likely to cheat, not because we are shallow and unable to commit, but because we are constantly exposed to temptation and are well educated in all the ways to hide a relationship from others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sorry to hear that. I started swinging years ago, however this just increased my need for other pussy n cock and I was fucking anyone I could. Destroyed my relationship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We like to think not... I mean it’s a pretty foolish person who feels the need to cheat when they have such sexual liberation, that said, I have heard other people in the same situation.
Fact is, if someone wants to cheat, regardless of the situation they will do it, all you can do is protect your emotional and financial security as much as possible.
I am sorry this happened to you... he was clearly an idiot x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have quite a cynical view of this and to be cheated on would never come as a surprise to me
I say this for a few reasons
1. Having a great sex life doesn't always equate to being happy
2. There is always a temptation to cheat and today our opportunities to do so are far greater than they have ever been
3. People are selfish. They want sex that includes you. They also want sex just for themselves
4. For some, there is always a next level. Push the boundaries, it becomes boring so they look for the next fix
5. For some, the grass is always greener |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My opinion is that swinging has no bearing on whether someone will cheat.
If your relationship is lacking something (whether you perceive it or not) then that void is always open to being filled by another (no pun intended!)
If someone fills that void and it's significant enough to fall for someone else, then the person in question will either do the right thing or cheat and that's down to their morals.
The person who fills the void could be the regular fab playmate or it could be the person who serves you in the shop. I don't think swinging makes any difference on that front. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can see why swinging would take away a need for cheating, if the need is just physical.
There's always a chance a partner will stray no matter how you live your lives sexually, humans are complex and sometimes just plain contrary.
I'm sorry you are going through such an awful time xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't really just for the couple's here, gathering opinions from the many
Do you generally think swingers are less likely to cheat? I always thought my swinging relationship of 10 yeara was pretty secure. After all, when you're sexually open and play together with others why would there be wanderlust on either part?
I have just found out i was cheated on the whole 10 years so it seems I was wrong on that one. Do you think it's possible, that even in a sexually open relationship, people can be true to one another? Or is everyone inherently just assholes?
Not bitter much promise "
What about the dozens on here who are cheating on their husbands/wives/partners who think because this is a "sex site" it doesn't count?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have been together 4 years and married for 18 months, we started swinging not ling after we got married and for us it has made our relationship stronger knowing that we can have fun with other people but are so deeply in love with each other.
We can meet people separately for fun too, but our golden rule is if you are meeting anyone the other half must know before hand.
Xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago
Calderdale innit |
I think there are people who will cheat even if they are in a swinging relationship.Some just can't seem to stay faithful,I've seen profiles saying"I get plenty at home,just greedy"or "I love the excitement of sneaking around".
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm very sorry to read this op. Hope you're OK?
I don't think swinging would stop someone from cheating. If they find a connection with someone then off they go.
It's something I always worry about and never take Jimmy or our marriage for granted but I'm a firm believer that if they are going to cheat there's not a darn thing you can do about it apart from kick their arse into touch! You have to trust people but unfortunately they can't always be trusted.
Sending you hugs
Jenny x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think there are people who will cheat even if they are in a swinging relationship.Some just can't seem to stay faithful,I've seen profiles saying"I get plenty at home,just greedy"or "I love the excitement of sneaking around".
"
I think you are right on that there are some men in couples on here who have contacted me behind their partners back for a secret meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
imo swinging is a pale imitation of cheating. There's a slim chance someone who wants to feel the intoxicating thrill of cheating may be sufficiently appeased by swinging. But probably not.
The best swinging couples imo swing for a very different reason from this... to share together new exciting sexual experiences that bring them closer together. The others, in which one or both parties are secretly chasing the buzz of cheating or being single again... they may as well cheat. Their relationship is doomed anyway imo
Obviously, a lot of "imo" there  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't think the two are related. A swinging relationship may be more sexually liberated but a non swinging couple can be just as solid and have the same level of trust and respect.
The temptation would be the same for anyone and the decision to cheat is separate from the sex they are having within their relationship.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have quite a cynical view of this and to be cheated on would never come as a surprise to me
I say this for a few reasons
1. Having a great sex life doesn't always equate to being happy
2. There is always a temptation to cheat and today our opportunities to do so are far greater than they have ever been
3. People are selfish. They want sex that includes you. They also want sex just for themselves
4. For some, there is always a next level. Push the boundaries, it becomes boring so they look for the next fix
5. For some, the grass is always greener"
Some people find the excitement of the chase and conquest for new lovers is a huge turn on. I have been a victim of this in the past with someone and you can't change them - its part of their personality. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't really just for the couple's here, gathering opinions from the many
Do you generally think swingers are less likely to cheat? I always thought my swinging relationship of 10 yeara was pretty secure. After all, when you're sexually open and play together with others why would there be wanderlust on either part?
I have just found out i was cheated on the whole 10 years so it seems I was wrong on that one. Do you think it's possible, that even in a sexually open relationship, people can be true to one another? Or is everyone inherently just assholes?
Not bitter much promise "
I just find it pointless to cheat.I have a few ex's for a few different reasons, they are still friends(in the proper sense), I'll admit I have met women who cheat...but for me, I just cant do it..I'd rather end a relationship(I'm a bit cold that way...but logical and honest lol) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A while ago I had a number of meets with a woman who was on here (and elsewhere) as part of a couple who played with other couples - but despite them apparently playing quite frequently, I was her 'bit on the side' who she played with without her partner's knowledge...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"This isn't really just for the couple's here, gathering opinions from the many
Do you generally think swingers are less likely to cheat? I always thought my swinging relationship of 10 yeara was pretty secure. After all, when you're sexually open and play together with others why would there be wanderlust on either part?
I have just found out i was cheated on the whole 10 years so it seems I was wrong on that one. Do you think it's possible, that even in a sexually open relationship, people can be true to one another? Or is everyone inherently just assholes?
Not bitter much promise "
Sorry to hear that  but I don’t know why you would cheat on a your partner if they’re happy and like letting you play with other people. It’s quite a rare thing really? In the real world I bet there isn’t many people who would let their partner play with someone else. He has thrown away a gem to pickup a rock I’d say! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A swinging relationship brought us closer and we are more liberated. I know not everyone as this and sadly someone will fall for someone during swinging and an affair will happen.
Openness and discussion is the key to this sort of relationship and last year someone my partner was meeting started to get a bit clingy and think they were in a relationship so he said he couldn’t see her again and she became a nightmare. We decided to knock it on the head for a while because we crashed back down to reality! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't really just for the couple's here, gathering opinions from the many
Do you generally think swingers are less likely to cheat? I always thought my swinging relationship of 10 yeara was pretty secure. After all, when you're sexually open and play together with others why would there be wanderlust on either part?
I have just found out i was cheated on the whole 10 years so it seems I was wrong on that one. Do you think it's possible, that even in a sexually open relationship, people can be true to one another? Or is everyone inherently just assholes?
Not bitter much promise "
Were you seeing my soon to be ex husband because this is exactly what he did!!
He's an arsehole, some make it work.
I'm sorry you've had to go through the shit, it's a shitty place to be x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just spilt from the male half due to him cheating. Despite swinging he still went on and cheated. Not with anyone from here. But from Tinder. She knows nothing about his swinging lifestyle all though he was keen to tell her i had been having 3sums without him (at his request as he wanted the vids)
I am utterly devasted and only remaining on the site untill the social im arranging is over then i will be leaving. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just spilt from the male half due to him cheating. Despite swinging he still went on and cheated. Not with anyone from here. But from Tinder. She knows nothing about his swinging lifestyle all though he was keen to tell her i had been having 3sums without him (at his request as he wanted the vids)
I am utterly devasted and only remaining on the site untill the social im arranging is over then i will be leaving. "
You could start a new fresh profile and stay in contact with friends. xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just spilt from the male half due to him cheating. Despite swinging he still went on and cheated. Not with anyone from here. But from Tinder. She knows nothing about his swinging lifestyle all though he was keen to tell her i had been having 3sums without him (at his request as he wanted the vids)
I am utterly devasted and only remaining on the site untill the social im arranging is over then i will be leaving.
You could start a new fresh profile and stay in contact with friends. xx"
I may. I have changed this to a single account and taken all pics down with him in them. The social event is in November so plenty of time for me.to decide i suppose. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hingy2Woman
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"This isn't really just for the couple's here, gathering opinions from the many
Do you generally think swingers are less likely to cheat? I always thought my swinging relationship of 10 yeara was pretty secure. After all, when you're sexually open and play together with others why would there be wanderlust on either part?
I have just found out i was cheated on the whole 10 years so it seems I was wrong on that one. Do you think it's possible, that even in a sexually open relationship, people can be true to one another? Or is everyone inherently just assholes?
Not bitter much promise "
Yes people can be true to one another in an open/swinging relationship in my case my partner was a liar and a cheat!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
After we had our first meet the emotional roller coaster was unbelievable for us both. We discussed every aspect of the meet, how we both felt before & after. We both agree it has brought us to a much higher level of commitment to one another. We have gone on to have other meets & really enjoying the fun. We 100% trust each other & see no reason why either of us would need to cheat to have our fun. It works for us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iRey OP Woman
over a year ago
Cheshire East |
I'm sorry to hear some of you ladies are in the same position as me I'm a month in atm and getting there slowly
We didn't get together as a swinging couple but it was something we both talked about and wanted to try and spent about 6 years in the lifestyle. Like a lady above he didn't cheat with swingers, rather girls from dating sites or facebook of all places
Staying as a single because I love the lifestyle  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sorry to hear some of you ladies are in the same position as me I'm a month in atm and getting there slowly
We didn't get together as a swinging couple but it was something we both talked about and wanted to try and spent about 6 years in the lifestyle. Like a lady above he didn't cheat with swingers, rather girls from dating sites or facebook of all places
Staying as a single because I love the lifestyle "
Same 3 year in he approcahed the topic. 2 years swinging and i thought all was well.
I was wrong. Now im damaged goods. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hmm interesting topic.....
I call people who always need to cheat mountain climbers.....
Once they have reached the peak of a mountain they will always need to climb another mountain.....
They don’t get off on the trill of climbing, they get off on the trill of risking their lives.. battling death and winning...
They will only stop climbing mountains when they die...
How do you avoid falling in love with mountain climbers ?
Marry someone in a wheelchair |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Sorry to hear that people cheat on their partners, I never have or will do and I'm looking for a genuine partner to have as a girlfriend and enjoy a swinging lifestyle where we are both committed to each other but have extra fun together with others, hope this is possible and not just a wishful
Fantasy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi I am a guy who has only just joined this site but been divorced 4 years now and decided to enjoy life I have met a lot of couples and mostly I give the wives a very nice massage and I have come across quite a few lady's who like to see me on there own even if they are in a solid relationship some husband's agree to this but some don't know I think that a lot of couples I meet have been together a long time and as long as they both agree to swing alone as well I s good thing a lot of women tell me that they will tell there husband in graphic details what happened as long as they agree I think it is a good thing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't really just for the couple's here, gathering opinions from the many
Do you generally think swingers are less likely to cheat? I always thought my swinging relationship of 10 yeara was pretty secure. After all, when you're sexually open and play together with others why would there be wanderlust on either part?
I have just found out i was cheated on the whole 10 years so it seems I was wrong on that one. Do you think it's possible, that even in a sexually open relationship, people can be true to one another? Or is everyone inherently just assholes?
Not bitter much promise "
No, if I’m honest makes it more easier to cheat as your eyes have been opened. Sure permission can be granted but depends on grounds it was based on. For example if I agreed Lucy to just fuck a guy but just sex nothing more, then she decides to go on dates and chill with him, ill consider that cheating as that wasn’t agreed.
Whether you are swingers or not, if you are not happy just leave, don’t cheat.
Most people are assholes, some admit it, some don’t and some just come across that way when actually they are the nicest people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hmm interesting topic.....
I call people who always need to cheat mountain climbers.....
Once they have reached the peak of a mountain they will always need to climb another mountain.....
They don’t get off on the trill of climbing, they get off on the trill of risking their lives.. battling death and winning...
They will only stop climbing mountains when they die...
How do you avoid falling in love with mountain climbers ?
Marry someone in a wheelchair "
Brilliant. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't really just for the couple's here, gathering opinions from the many
Do you generally think swingers are less likely to cheat? I always thought my swinging relationship of 10 yeara was pretty secure. After all, when you're sexually open and play together with others why would there be wanderlust on either part?
I have just found out i was cheated on the whole 10 years so it seems I was wrong on that one. Do you think it's possible, that even in a sexually open relationship, people can be true to one another? Or is everyone inherently just assholes?
Not bitter much promise "
he cheated on you? in an already open swinging relationship? what a total knob!! most guys would give their right bollock for a gorgeous woman like you to be happy to go play with them too ...his loss hun move on x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sorry to hear some of you ladies are in the same position as me I'm a month in atm and getting there slowly
We didn't get together as a swinging couple but it was something we both talked about and wanted to try and spent about 6 years in the lifestyle. Like a lady above he didn't cheat with swingers, rather girls from dating sites or facebook of all places
Staying as a single because I love the lifestyle
Same 3 year in he approcahed the topic. 2 years swinging and i thought all was well.
I was wrong. Now im damaged goods. "
Why damaged goods? He's the problem, not you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
OP I'm very sorry to hear this. I rarely come onto the forums in the many many years I've been a member here but reading your post definitely needed a reply.
Stay strong, heal and then be clear as to how you want and need to move forward.
I believe any relationship whether swinging or not can be completely honest and healthy but I also believe the opposite is and can be true too.
We cannot speak, none of us can, about your particular situation but I'll try my best to reveal my understanding and point of view.
I met my ex on another sex site that is now gone. I learnt some things from that relationship which allowed me to grow and realise some truths. I joined this site many years ago to find the one and I am still here seeking.
I know that to find the one here ie a fellow swinger is only the start. She has to yet be morally on my level. She has to value the same things as me as understand the world as I see it too.
Being sexually open is only 1 facet. Because of my job I'm regarded as an intelligent and thoughtful member of our society thus I know she needs to also be warm caring yet strong and intelligent too.
In swinging and outside of it lust often confuses itself as love. Love I believe is that force that keeps you aligned. If you lie which is what cheating is to the one you love it will eat and destroy you from inside.
I know myself that I could never lie to the one I love.
However irrespective of how open you are in a swinging or monotonous relationship if you are not fully 100% open and clear and always seeking open truths as and when needed whether going out to fuck others or going out to a family wedding then you will always keep something hidden and this leads to cheating.
It's hard i know to understand how he could have cheated after 10years and during the 10years but clearly he felt he could and needed to without revealing it to you and all that says is that there was still a lack of openess and thus trust in the relationship but also a fracture in his values and morality as compared to yours.
Perhaps deep down in your heart you knew this all along and perhaps you saw this and never realised or wanted to think about it thus not being open with yourself and with him.
A relationship Can only work when you fear losing the other so much that you're prepared to be open with each other in the hope that you can fix what needs to be fixed.
Love and relationships are like a home in need of constant repairs and renovations. We live in each other's hearts and unless we remain clear and open and nurturing it can open its doors to cheating.
In this matter it is clear to me that for 10years implies he was never fully invested or open as you were and thus he got away with it.
For me being on this site seeking the one isn't a blind endeavour. I know if I find the one here or anywhere a prenuptial agreement will need to be made and signed. Cynical no but a way to save my heart and hers from temptation and future loss.
I hope my words give you strength for the fault lies not with you but him and the relationship as a whole. He deceived you and this needs answers for you if you need it as it is your right.
But to answer you succinctly yes cheating can occur in any relationship because it's about your own convictions towards the person you are married to and how you feel for them.
I say marriage as a relationship out side of marriage is open to every interpretation under the sun.
Hope that helps x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just spilt from the male half due to him cheating. Despite swinging he still went on and cheated. Not with anyone from here. But from Tinder. She knows nothing about his swinging lifestyle all though he was keen to tell her i had been having 3sums without him (at his request as he wanted the vids)
I am utterly devasted and only remaining on the site untill the social im arranging is over then i will be leaving. "
Hope you bump into someone, who can turn your head at the social.... Try and have fun hunny xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Nope. Cheaters normally cheat because of the thrill, so the license of the open relationship will only lead to them seeking another forbidden taboo. "
Oh that's soo VERY true! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We have met quite a few couples in our 4 years of swinging and unfortunately you do hear of breaking up due to cheating.
I don't think it's down to them being swinger's, far more of my vanilla acquaintances break up then swinging.
Sorry to hear your situation OP, 10 years is absolutely shocking.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't think it's any different in any area of life really swinging or non swinging. Some people tend to be unfaithful in every social scene and that's always the case. I think in the swinging scene it's possibly a smaller percentage that would in other areas of life.
Swingers tend to be more secure in their relationship if they are honest, it's the secret that hurts.
For OP and those of you who have had this experience of being cheated on, just reflect that it isn't you that's the problem it's your other partners issue that they can't or won't deal with. Male half |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"OP perhaps it should have been a poly lifestyle then there would have been no need to cheat "
A Poly lifestyle requires both to tell the truth about other relationships - cheaters love the thrill of cheating. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This isn't really just for the couple's here, gathering opinions from the many
Do you generally think swingers are less likely to cheat? I always thought my swinging relationship of 10 yeara was pretty secure. After all, when you're sexually open and play together with others why would there be wanderlust on either part?
I have just found out i was cheated on the whole 10 years so it seems I was wrong on that one. Do you think it's possible, that even in a sexually open relationship, people can be true to one another? Or is everyone inherently just assholes?
Not bitter much promise "
cheating occurs because of opportunity, always different reasons behind it some more valid than others but if you love and respect your partner then why |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iRey OP Woman
over a year ago
Cheshire East |
"OP perhaps it should have been a poly lifestyle then there would have been no need to cheat
A Poly lifestyle requires both to tell the truth about other relationships - cheaters love the thrill of cheating."
A poly lifestyle isnt for me, and I wouldn't make myself miserable so he could have relationships with other people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have quite a cynical view of this and to be cheated on would never come as a surprise to me
I say this for a few reasons
1. Having a great sex life doesn't always equate to being happy
2. There is always a temptation to cheat and today our opportunities to do so are far greater than they have ever been
3. People are selfish. They want sex that includes you. They also want sex just for themselves
4. For some, there is always a next level. Push the boundaries, it becomes boring so they look for the next fix
5. For some, the grass is always greener"
This Totally |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
And yes, it’s entirely possible to stay committed. X