FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What is BDSM to you?
What is BDSM to you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I mean what extreme do you take it
..a bit of slap and tickle or do you do the whole subspace things. ...would you buy expensive furniture or just a couple of ping pong bats?
I got into it as a joke myself but quite enjoy it now
..nowherenear living a 24/7 lifestyle ..I think that would be to ouch for me
..let's hear your thoughts. ..and please none of this a better dom then you are  |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
I like more the sensation play side of things, flogging, spanking... recently got into electro play which I quite enjoy.
I can be abit submissive and do like a man to take control. But it would only be in a play scenario... wouldn’t be able to do it 24/7 it’s just not me.
I just like abit of kink here and there lol |
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Not really into the spanking /flogging stuff (but i get it) we the the deprivation (hoods and p@@pers) humiliation, role reversal the sensation on latex/plastic, pegging... We actually joined here for the cuckold stuff, a extension on the fem domme role |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love looking at all the images of it but just dont think I could go as far as being walked about on leads and being chained to tables. I love being submissive though and getting a really hard spanking but would be a bit sqeamish with the more 'torture' type stuff. Blindfolds,tying up yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We enjoy the bondage and domination aspect if bdsm, but not the pain and humiliation. Lots of edging and teasing, orgasm control, sensory deprivation. Its an important part of our sex life, but we still enjoy "vanilla" sex too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Isn't it a driving school?
That had to be followed up by bananaman ffs
Haha I’m practising for my stand up act "
Well if you've got one don't give up on the day job just yet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Isn't it a driving school?
That had to be followed up by bananaman ffs
Haha I’m practising for my stand up act
Well if you've got one don't give up on the day job just yet"
I don’t have a day job  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" Isn't it a driving school?
That had to be followed up by bananaman ffs
Haha I’m practising for my stand up act
Well if you've got one don't give up on the day job just yet
I don’t have a day job "
Just heard a big sigh of relief all the way down from london  |
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"We enjoy the bondage and domination aspect if bdsm, but not the pain and humiliation. Lots of edging and teasing, orgasm control, sensory deprivation. Its an important part of our sex life, but we still enjoy "vanilla" sex too "
This is exactly what I have with my partner! Kink brings a new aspect to our sex life but we don't live the 24/7 lifestyle of it, we too don't enjoy the pain side of it and both love vanilla sex too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Isn't it a driving school?
That had to be followed up by bananaman ffs
Haha I’m practising for my stand up act
Well if you've got one don't give up on the day job just yet
I don’t have a day job
Just heard a big sigh of relief all the way down from london "
Coming to my gig then? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Anyhow back on subject....what sort of price would one expect to pay for say....a folding spanking chair that would do the job and fold compactly away for discretion? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We indulge whenever we get the urge. Not into the 24/7 lifestyle, Scarlett is far too feisty for that.
We have quite a bit of equipment and if we owned a place with a cellar or outbuilding it would be converted into a play space where we could have lots of fun. Maybe when we are empty nesters ....as if that’s ever gonna happen  ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have grown up with the lifestyle over the last 19 years, but would not say was 24/7. Regularly go to munches and events and help others find their way into the scene
Its not always sexual for me and has given me a lot more than the pain and humiliation. Have made some great friends and learnt a lot about myself from it |
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Obviously I have quite a domme look so I get lots of submissive t-girls looking for me to domme them.
I definitely like to be in control, enjoy a bit of tying up etc but I'm just not into harming others or degrading them etc.
Is that like soft BDSM or something?
They all want me to shag them and suck me but none of them want sucked or to shag me because they are submissive - even if I command them to! |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Having "discovered" my submissive side quite some time ago I've barely dipped my toe into that side of my sexuality but for me it's more of a mindset than anything - being able to hand control over to someone you both trust and respect, allowing them the freedom to take that control and use it how they see fit for whatever period of time and seeing where that takes you.
The various physical and mental aspects of BDSM are of course down to individual personal tastes and should always be clear between all involved.
How far I'd take it is something that I've given a fair bit of thought to lately and is obviously circumstantial as much as anything - and whilst my circumstances wouldn't allow a 24/7 type thing and do mean to an extent I'd have to be able to switch it off and on it does go a lot deeper than just playing for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me I like to indulge in all but humiliation. I love being sub, I love to be tied, flogged, spanked, instructed, sensory play, candle play, electro stimulation. Basically just love to indulge my Dom in whatever he desires, I'm a natural pleaser and that works well within the sub role for me. BUT it's all play for me - couldn't do 24/7 although I don't mind recieving tasks from my dom or following his rules daily as long as it doesn't impact my work and family life |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"If I could afford the furniture I would. Love to have my own st Andres cross.
"
Know someone who can make folding St. Andrews crosses... not sure on price (but not retail expensive) I can point you in the right direction if you want.
He also does handmade floggers which are £35 a pair
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"I love looking at all the images of it but just dont think I could go as far as being walked about on leads and being chained to tables. I love being submissive though and getting a really hard spanking but would be a bit sqeamish with the more 'torture' type stuff. Blindfolds,tying up yes. "
There are all different levels though and that’s the point.. not everyone is going to be into the same thing. Personally I’m not into being chained to tables or being collard etc.
It’s ok to like whichever aspects you do enjoy. The whole point is to explore your boundaries and find out what works for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I love looking at all the images of it but just dont think I could go as far as being walked about on leads and being chained to tables. I love being submissive though and getting a really hard spanking but would be a bit sqeamish with the more 'torture' type stuff. Blindfolds,tying up yes. "
Don't worry too much if the trust is there.....your 100% there |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I love looking at all the images of it but just dont think I could go as far as being walked about on leads and being chained to tables. I love being submissive though and getting a really hard spanking but would be a bit sqeamish with the more 'torture' type stuff. Blindfolds,tying up yes.
There are all different levels though and that’s the point.. not everyone is going to be into the same thing. Personally I’m not into being chained to tables or being collard etc.
It’s ok to like whichever aspects you do enjoy. The whole point is to explore your boundaries and find out what works for you "
Exactly this - there is no "right" way to BDSM other than that which is consensually agreed between those involved and done so from an informed standpoint - just need to be careful because there are a lot out there that don't really understand BDSM and think it's just an excuse to be abusive  |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"I love looking at all the images of it but just dont think I could go as far as being walked about on leads and being chained to tables. I love being submissive though and getting a really hard spanking but would be a bit sqeamish with the more 'torture' type stuff. Blindfolds,tying up yes.
There are all different levels though and that’s the point.. not everyone is going to be into the same thing. Personally I’m not into being chained to tables or being collard etc.
It’s ok to like whichever aspects you do enjoy. The whole point is to explore your boundaries and find out what works for you
Exactly this - there is no "right" way to BDSM other than that which is consensually agreed between those involved and done so from an informed standpoint - just need to be careful because there are a lot out there that don't really understand BDSM and think it's just an excuse to be abusive "
I’ve just started a new blog exploring some of the different aspects of bdsm, kink, hints tips and tricks of all areas of sexy fun. Keep an eye out. I can’t link it as it’s against forum rules.
But it’s called The Kink Journals
I will link it in my profile and try to post regular new blogs |
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I love bondage and submission. Restraints, impact play etc. But not too much pain or humiliation. I like the mental domination as much as the physical, not just obeying because he/she tells me to, but because I want to please them. It depends on the dynamic and chemistry a lot for me.
Vanilla sex is good, and it scratches the itch, but for me it just doesn't compare. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I love looking at all the images of it but just dont think I could go as far as being walked about on leads and being chained to tables. I love being submissive though and getting a really hard spanking but would be a bit sqeamish with the more 'torture' type stuff. Blindfolds,tying up yes.
There are all different levels though and that’s the point.. not everyone is going to be into the same thing. Personally I’m not into being chained to tables or being collard etc.
It’s ok to like whichever aspects you do enjoy. The whole point is to explore your boundaries and find out what works for you
Exactly this - there is no "right" way to BDSM other than that which is consensually agreed between those involved and done so from an informed standpoint - just need to be careful because there are a lot out there that don't really understand BDSM and think it's just an excuse to be abusive
I’ve just started a new blog exploring some of the different aspects of bdsm, kink, hints tips and tricks of all areas of sexy fun. Keep an eye out. I can’t link it as it’s against forum rules.
But it’s called The Kink Journals
I will link it in my profile and try to post regular new blogs "
Shall keep an eye out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I love looking at all the images of it but just dont think I could go as far as being walked about on leads and being chained to tables. I love being submissive though and getting a really hard spanking but would be a bit sqeamish with the more 'torture' type stuff. Blindfolds,tying up yes.
There are all different levels though and that’s the point.. not everyone is going to be into the same thing. Personally I’m not into being chained to tables or being collard etc.
It’s ok to like whichever aspects you do enjoy. The whole point is to explore your boundaries and find out what works for you
Exactly this - there is no "right" way to BDSM other than that which is consensually agreed between those involved and done so from an informed standpoint - just need to be careful because there are a lot out there that don't really understand BDSM and think it's just an excuse to be abusive
I’ve just started a new blog exploring some of the different aspects of bdsm, kink, hints tips and tricks of all areas of sexy fun. Keep an eye out. I can’t link it as it’s against forum rules.
But it’s called The Kink Journals
I will link it in my profile and try to post regular new blogs
Shall keep an eye out "
Fecking gobshite
. ...still. didn't answer my post though  |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"A new things I have gotten into is electro toys....has anyone had much experience of theses....and if so your views would be welcome "
Yes I’ve also just got into electro toys.
Got myself a neon wand and also a body contact to make a human electrode... it’s amazing. Couple of weeks ago I got flogged and zapped at the same time, it was amazing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"A new things I have gotten into is electro toys....has anyone had much experience of theses....and if so your views would be welcome
Yes I’ve also just got into electro toys.
Got myself a neon wand and also a body contact to make a human electrode... it’s amazing. Couple of weeks ago I got flogged and zapped at the same time, it was amazing "
Watch out for tj nipple /labia clamps.... very hard limit  |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"A new things I have gotten into is electro toys....has anyone had much experience of theses....and if so your views would be welcome
Yes I’ve also just got into electro toys.
Got myself a neon wand and also a body contact to make a human electrode... it’s amazing. Couple of weeks ago I got flogged and zapped at the same time, it was amazing
Watch out for tj nipple /labia clamps.... very hard limit "
I’m alright with being zapped on my nipple piercings. I can do almost full power haha. |
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"A new things I have gotten into is electro toys....has anyone had much experience of theses....and if so your views would be welcome
Yes I’ve also just got into electro toys.
Got myself a neon wand and also a body contact to make a human electrode... it’s amazing. Couple of weeks ago I got flogged and zapped at the same time, it was amazing
Watch out for tj nipple /labia clamps.... very hard limit
I’m alright with being zapped on my nipple piercings. I can do almost full power haha."
What about clit zapped? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Could happily live the lifestyle 24/7.
The introduction of rules in a relationship is no more than an everyday life situation. Only difference in a 24/7 bdsm lifestyle is that there are enforced boundaries and punishments.
If you looked at your own relationship, swinger or not, you'd find unwritten rules and hidden rules already there and a signed marriage contract for most which comes with its own set of rules.
The only extra is you haven't signed a contract detailing the expectations, wants, needs, do's, dont's and punishments with the relationship..
You would be surprised how much couples would benefit from a extra contract like this. The increased communications between partners alone can only be a good thing in modern life.
Worth trying for 24hrs, a week perhaps......
Mistress Amelia x 
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I love looking at all the images of it but just dont think I could go as far as being walked about on leads and being chained to tables. I love being submissive though and getting a really hard spanking but would be a bit sqeamish with the more 'torture' type stuff. Blindfolds,tying up yes.
There are all different levels though and that’s the point.. not everyone is going to be into the same thing. Personally I’m not into being chained to tables or being collard etc.
It’s ok to like whichever aspects you do enjoy. The whole point is to explore your boundaries and find out what works for you
Exactly this - there is no "right" way to BDSM other than that which is consensually agreed between those involved and done so from an informed standpoint - just need to be careful because there are a lot out there that don't really understand BDSM and think it's just an excuse to be abusive
I’ve just started a new blog exploring some of the different aspects of bdsm, kink, hints tips and tricks of all areas of sexy fun. Keep an eye out. I can’t link it as it’s against forum rules.
But it’s called The Kink Journals
I will link it in my profile and try to post regular new blogs
Shall keep an eye out Fecking gobshite
. ...still. didn't answer my post though "
Which bit am I supposed to be answering?  |
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The BDSM world is of great interest to me which is in part why I met my girlfriend in that world via F1tL**e.
The swinging side of things has ended up dominating but if we were to explore further rope-play would top the list. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally love electro play, both VW and e-stim.
Using yourself as the contact for VW play is well known and very sensual but it also works for e-stim. You each are fitted with one monopole contact and the energy flows through both of you. |
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By *utie91Woman
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"A new things I have gotten into is electro toys....has anyone had much experience of theses....and if so your views would be welcome
Yes I’ve also just got into electro toys.
Got myself a neon wand and also a body contact to make a human electrode... it’s amazing. Couple of weeks ago I got flogged and zapped at the same time, it was amazing
Watch out for tj nipple /labia clamps.... very hard limit
I’m alright with being zapped on my nipple piercings. I can do almost full power haha.
What about clit zapped?"
Yes I have had my clit zapped and it’s good... I don’t have a piercing there though lol |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
I've been in a 24/7 relationship but it wasn't for me, I'm too bratty and too much of a switch for that length of control...
I am very much into pain and 'edge' play though. I've got a very varied list of likes, from soft and gentle to the very extreme. |
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I’ve been active on the bdsm scene since 2009, it’s very much a lifestyle as the majority of my friends are from it.
As to extremes, it varies partner to partner, they’re current limits are my limits. My only hard limits are no permanent damage, I’m straight and I won’t be topped/dommed.
So some of my play has gone very extreme, as the playmate had been free to really go as dark as she wants with limitation or judgment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love being restrained and have any control taken away from me. I also love anal play and trying some pretty extreme stuff.
It’s the not being in control I enjoy most though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it is about role play and spanking.
Love to be dressed in school uniform or as a secretary, and to be ordered to raise my skirt and bend over their knee for a spanking. |
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BDSM can take so many forms - I enjoy most of them but I am not turned on by any pain more intense than mild pain during impact play.
For me, it is about the headspace. I have been looking for so long for someone to live up to my first D/s experience - someone who first proves his trust to me and then who takes me and fucks with me and then puts me back together afterwards.
I don't think another man exists like this for me, and he is no longer involved... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My fiance & I met thanks to our similar likes in BDSM (on that well known fetish website) - so I guess it's our foundation.
We both switch and enjoy pain, power, submission, a degree of humiliation, the bond & the trust.
We don't live it 24/7 but it's always there and I find that incredibly exciting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've loved BDSM for 6 yrs. Love the furniture in the club's. But have more fun in private as I love BDSM and sex together. I've a big collection of toys from floggers paddles rope chains gags dragons tail to name a few. Im submissive and love playing with Dominant men only. Not easy to find on here tbh but I continue my search. I love being controlled by a Dominant and geting into a subspace is incredible. It puts me in the best happy head space ever where all my worries vanish for a few hours xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m a bit of an all rounder when it comes to BDSM. Dressing up, punishment, humiliation, degradation, pushing boundaries etc
Yet to use the furniture like the St Andrews cross but hopefully will do soon |
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