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By *arraps OP Man
over a year ago
port talbot |
My fab partner has ended our relationship,and she has deleted our joint profile .
We were together for over 5 years and in that time we had some great meets.
She suffered a bad accident in which she broke her leg in a couple of places, which resulted in various plates being used to stabilise the breaks.
I stood by her throughout all this time , even pushed her wheelchair when we were on holiday together....and that’s harder than it seems....
Anyway, I gave her a number of items over the past 18 months including a decent smartphone when hers broke.
So now she has ended it do I have the right to ask for all the items back, or does she get to keep them
That’s my dilemma.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's sad about your relationship and you're worried about a smart phone and few other material things? That's even more sad.
If it bothers you that much, ask for them back. If she says no, you don't have a leg to stand on!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My fab partner has ended our relationship,and she has deleted our joint profile .
We were together for over 5 years and in that time we had some great meets.
She suffered a bad accident in which she broke her leg in a couple of places, which resulted in various plates being used to stabilise the breaks.
I stood by her throughout all this time , even pushed her wheelchair when we were on holiday together....and that’s harder than it seems....
Anyway, I gave her a number of items over the past 18 months including a decent smartphone when hers broke.
So now she has ended it do I have the right to ask for all the items back, or does she get to keep them
That’s my dilemma...."
Mate you should never gift anything that you would expect back unless you stipulated it at the time, even then its a bit crass tbh. Park it and move on however annoying things are. |
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By *MNJCouple
over a year ago
Nuneaton |
How petty are you? Together for 5 years but still hold it against her that you looked after her when she broke her leg, that's what couples do.
And wanting a phone back, no wonder she dumped you you tight git 
Mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My fab partner has ended our relationship,and she has deleted our joint profile .
We were together for over 5 years and in that time we had some great meets.
She suffered a bad accident in which she broke her leg in a couple of places, which resulted in various plates being used to stabilise the breaks.
I stood by her throughout all this time , even pushed her wheelchair when we were on holiday together....and that’s harder than it seems....
Anyway, I gave her a number of items over the past 18 months including a decent smartphone when hers broke.
So now she has ended it do I have the right to ask for all the items back, or does she get to keep them
That’s my dilemma...."
You’ve answered your own question matey. “You gave her a number of items”. They are now hers to keep unless she volunteers to give them back. In any case, don’t be so mean spirited, let go of her and the gifts and move on. Good luck |
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OP - sorry to hear about the break up... it's clearly something you didn't want.
As for the gifts - I'm not convinced you actually want them back. I think asking her for them would give you another opportunity to contact her and express your hurt feelings.
I'd say let things be. Cherish the good memories and turn to greet new opportunities.
|
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"OP - sorry to hear about the break up... it's clearly something you didn't want.
As for the gifts - I'm not convinced you actually want them back. I think asking her for them would give you another opportunity to contact her and express your hurt feelings.
I'd say let things be. Cherish the good memories and turn to greet new opportunities.
"
Agree with this.
Sorry the relationship broke up. I know how badly that can hurt.
Don't get wrapped up in the petty shit, or use it as an excuse to maintain contact. Will just make things more painful and potentially more messy. Remember the good times and accept you need to move on . Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Generally, if they are gifts and they were given during the relationship then they belong to her.
Anything that was contingent upon the relationship at the time it was given are your right to take back, but those are not gifts. |
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By *arraps OP Man
over a year ago
port talbot |
The general consensus is leave well alone.
Break ups are hard but what makes this even harder is that she was having unprotected sex with others behind my back...
Hey ho it’s off to the GUM clinic I go |
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"The general consensus is leave well alone.
Break ups are hard but what makes this even harder is that she was having unprotected sex with others behind my back...
Hey ho it’s off to the GUM clinic I go"
you're well rid then? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your 58 years old and worrying about taking back material things. You show love to her for 5 years. Even if you weren't married. Once you love someone your wedding vows (for better for worse, in sickness and in health etc.) Starts then. Unless my morals in life are different than yours. To me there is no dilemma. Be a man and get over material things cause at the end of the day. You have lost more in the woman you love/d. |
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"The general consensus is leave well alone.
Break ups are hard but what makes this even harder is that she was having unprotected sex with others behind my back...
Hey ho it’s off to the GUM clinic I go"
Sorry if I'm missing something here but was she your full time partner or just fuck buddy on fab?
Was she exclusively yours or did you have separate lives to which she did her own thing.
How did you find out she was having unprotected sex behind your back?
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"The general consensus is leave well alone.
Break ups are hard but what makes this even harder is that she was having unprotected sex with others behind my back...
Hey ho it’s off to the GUM clinic I go"
Well let's hope she hasn't left you with a little reminder of her  |
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By *tonMessCouple
over a year ago
Slough Windsor ish |
"The general consensus is leave well alone.
Break ups are hard but what makes this even harder is that she was having unprotected sex with others behind my back...
Hey ho it’s off to the GUM clinic I go"
One would hope if you were active on the scene at trip to the GUM clinic would be a regular thing anyway.
As for the gifts, they were just that, damn right she should keep them.
And really? You now resent pushing her in a wheelchair?
Man you are a catch  |
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Wow op!
They say hell hath no fury than a woman scorned ..you've just taken the biscuit!
You went from caring for her and having a great time together ..to wanting gifts you gave her back and hoping she never gave you a STD !! PETTY PETTY PETTY !!
Have some dignity and accept it never worked out and not try and score cheap points to heal your fragile ego. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow op!
They say hell hath no fury than a woman scorned ..you've just taken the biscuit!
You went from caring for her and having a great time together ..to wanting gifts you gave her back and hoping she never gave you a STD !! PETTY PETTY PETTY !!
Have some dignity and accept it never worked out and not try and score cheap points to heal your fragile ego."
totally my point said before. Men dissapoint me. We are a weird breed haha |
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By *arraps OP Man
over a year ago
port talbot |
"Wow op!
They say hell hath no fury than a woman scorned ..you've just taken the biscuit!
You went from caring for her and having a great time together ..to wanting gifts you gave her back and hoping she never gave you a STD !! PETTY PETTY PETTY !!
Have some dignity and accept it never worked out and not try and score cheap points to heal your fragile ego."
My ego is far from fragile.....
Perhaps you would like some man to bareback you and give you an sti....
I certainly don’t want one that’s why I went to the GUM clinic today to get checked out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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who pays the bill or is it pay as you go..
anyway , its a gift to her , leave it with her ..
if she wants to give it back she will post it to you id imagine
its only a phone right ...and you dont need it . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sounds like she's made the right decision to me..can't quite believe a man your age even considers whether you should ask for gifts back..what a poisonous attitude. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow op!
They say hell hath no fury than a woman scorned ..you've just taken the biscuit!
You went from caring for her and having a great time together ..to wanting gifts you gave her back and hoping she never gave you a STD !! PETTY PETTY PETTY !!
Have some dignity and accept it never worked out and not try and score cheap points to heal your fragile ego.
My ego is far from fragile.....
Perhaps you would like some man to bareback you and give you an sti....
I certainly don’t want one that’s why I went to the GUM clinic today to get checked out"
But as a very sexually active man on the swinging scene, you would be going to the clinic regularly anyway?
I dont understand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How petty are you? Together for 5 years but still hold it against her that you looked after her when she broke her leg, that's what couples do.
And wanting a phone back, no wonder she dumped you you tight git
Mr"
thats a bit harsh.....but true !! |
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"How petty are you? Together for 5 years but still hold it against her that you looked after her when she broke her leg, that's what couples do.
And wanting a phone back, no wonder she dumped you you tight git
Mr"
This |
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I know he sounds a dick about the gifts, wheelchair,sti etc and not going to defend him no vilifie him ,It sounds to me like he hurting bad and like so many have in the past saying things to try and make her feel the pain he feeling over this breakup ,I been there you say and do crazy shit to deal with the pain ,if that's the case then only time a healer dude and saying crazy shit is a regret you will have later down the healing line
Of course you could be ego inflated can't take rejection let's attack the ex type of bitter man I don't know ,I do hope it the 1st part of my observation and good luck op  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The general consensus is leave well alone.
Break ups are hard but what makes this even harder is that she was having unprotected sex with others behind my back...
Hey ho it’s off to the GUM clinic I go"
you should not disclose this in public with strangers !
Shows not respect for you or her!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My fab partner has ended our relationship,and she has deleted our joint profile .
We were together for over 5 years and in that time we had some great meets.
She suffered a bad accident in which she broke her leg in a couple of places, which resulted in various plates being used to stabilise the breaks.
I stood by her throughout all this time , even pushed her wheelchair when we were on holiday together....and that’s harder than it seems....
Anyway, I gave her a number of items over the past 18 months including a decent smartphone when hers broke.
So now she has ended it do I have the right to ask for all the items back, or does she get to keep them
That’s my dilemma...."
Hmmmm doesn't sound like a dilemma to me.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A gift is a gift and no you should get nothing back . 5 years you had a friend and now your friend is not wishing to meet for fun and games ... Think yourself lucky you had her 5 years. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Omg gifts are gifts given cause you wanted too .Never ask for gifts back .It's just not nice .Remain friends don't get bitter .It's ended and alot of good things come to a end . |
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"Why did she finish things with you?
She was restless...
I bet you wish she was still wheelchair bound eh? 
Mrs x "
this really did make me spit my coffee out .sharper than a Stanley knife that reply  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A gift is a gift and no you should get nothing back . 5 years you had a friend and now your friend is not wishing to meet for fun and games ... Think yourself lucky you had her 5 years. "
That's why it's not a Dilemma If you missed her and wanted her back.. I'd feel like giving advice.. That's a dilemma. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A gift is a gift is a gift so if u fall out with your kids will u ask for their Xmas presents back ?answer no so why would you ask a lover for gifts back and to post about going to the clinic and her misdemeanors is crass and shows u in a bad light and may make any ladies think not with a barge pole,but who knows I night be proved wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Next time just tell them first that you will be expecting all the stuff you give them back when you break up. "
I can see him getting told to go fuck himself if he does |
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"Next time just tell them first that you will be expecting all the stuff you give them back when you break up. I can see him getting told to go fuck himself if he does"
Well it will save him some money then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a gift then its a gift unless you enter into a Contract that stipulates that should you split then you want things back, even then you'd probably have to pursue it through the (Small Claims) Courts and prove proof of purchase etc so not really worth the faff.
Just chalk it up to experience OP and move on, wiser and less knackered from not having to push a wheelchair.
And fingers crossed your GUM clinic doesn't show she's left you with an unwanted gift. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My fab partner has ended our relationship,and she has deleted our joint profile .
We were together for over 5 years and in that time we had some great meets."
So be thankful that you enjoyed the time you had together. Count your blessings for the time you spent with her.
"She suffered a bad accident in which she broke her leg in a couple of places, which resulted in various plates being used to stabilise the breaks.
I stood by her throughout all this time , even pushed her wheelchair when we were on holiday together....and that’s harder than it seems...."
You stood by her because you loved her! People do things like that for each other when you love them.
"Anyway, I gave her a number of items over the past 18 months including a decent smartphone when hers broke.
So now she has ended it do I have the right to ask for all the items back, or does she get to keep them
That’s my dilemma...."
Nope, you don't have the right to ask her for anything back.
Be thankful you aren't getting divorced. She would take the house, the car, the kids and half of your pension. A mobile phone is nothing in the scheme of things.
"The general consensus is leave well alone.
Break ups are hard but what makes this even harder is that she was having unprotected sex with others behind my back...
Hey ho it’s off to the GUM clinic I go"
Didn't need to say this, mate. I understand you are hurting because of the break up but, that was unnecessary. Be a man about this, go and get checked out and tell her what your results are. Hopefully you get a clean bill of health. As others have said you should be getting tested regularly if you are in this scene anyway. |
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"Wow op!
They say hell hath no fury than a woman scorned ..you've just taken the biscuit!
You went from caring for her and having a great time together ..to wanting gifts you gave her back and hoping she never gave you a STD !! PETTY PETTY PETTY !!
Have some dignity and accept it never worked out and not try and score cheap points to heal your fragile ego.
My ego is far from fragile.....
Perhaps you would like some man to bareback you and give you an sti....
I certainly don’t want one that’s why I went to the GUM clinic today to get checked out
But as a very sexually active man on the swinging scene, you would be going to the clinic regularly anyway?
I dont understand"
Exactly checks should be a regular thing anyway .
Plus op you never dumped her for apparently going bareback .So would come across it wasn't an issue till she ended things with you .Also as asked before how do you know she went bareback ??
You had zero need to make any reference to it apart from lashing out and scoring cheap points . If that's not trying to nurse a bruised ego I don't know what is. |
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"OP - sorry to hear about the break up... it's clearly something you didn't want.
As for the gifts - I'm not convinced you actually want them back. I think asking her for them would give you another opportunity to contact her and express your hurt feelings.spot on
I'd say let things be. Cherish the good memories and turn to greet new opportunities.
"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely ask for all the stuff back, typical women taking shift they where given and thinking they can keep it a bloody outrage bill her for your time you where together as well because you won’t get that back either (need a shaking fist smiley) |
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"Absolutely ask for all the stuff back, typical women taking shift they where given and thinking they can keep it a bloody outrage bill her for your time you where together as well because you won’t get that back either (need a shaking fist smiley)"
and labour cost for pushing wheelchair  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's sad about your relationship and you're worried about a smart phone and few other material things? That's even more sad.
If it bothers you that much, ask for them back. If she says no, you don't have a leg to stand on!!! "
no pun intended....... |
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"My fab partner has ended our relationship,and she has deleted our joint profile .
We were together for over 5 years and in that time we had some great meets.
She suffered a bad accident in which she broke her leg in a couple of places, which resulted in various plates being used to stabilise the breaks.
I stood by her throughout all this time , even pushed her wheelchair when we were on holiday together....and that’s harder than it seems....
Anyway, I gave her a number of items over the past 18 months including a decent smartphone when hers broke.
So now she has ended it do I have the right to ask for all the items back, or does she get to keep them
That’s my dilemma...."
At the risk of repeating many other posts.. There's no dilemma. You gave them to her so now they are her property. Come on pal, you're not a 5 year old that needs this explaining.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How petty are you? Together for 5 years but still hold it against her that you looked after her when she broke her leg, that's what couples do.
And wanting a phone back, no wonder she dumped you you tight git
Mr"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's sad about your relationship and you're worried about a smart phone and few other material things? That's even more sad.
If it bothers you that much, ask for them back. If she says no, you don't have a leg to stand on!!! "
Neither does she (sorry could not resist) |
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It makes me sad that you are even asking the question. it makes the rest of us men look bad by association. I'm glad not all women on here will generalise your behaviour as typical of the male of the species
Gifts are gifts, loans are loans!
keep it simple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's sad about your relationship and you're worried about a smart phone and few other material things? That's even more sad.
If it bothers you that much, ask for them back. If she says no, you don't have a leg to stand on!!! "
Neither did she! Oops! Did I say that out loud?  |
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