FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Single guys not taking no for a answer!!

Single guys not taking no for a answer!!

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I'm not saying all single guys do it but some are really persistent and when you say no they still keep trying, and if I decline to meet them they turn nasty calling me a slut and free whore anyone else getting the same??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Don't let it get that point, just block

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Block them once you've said no the first time. Problem solved.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yes..pointless trying to be polite more than once. just delete any more msgs from them, or block them..it's a complete waste of your time replying to either insults or whining.

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

As said above, use the block button. If you receive abusive messages report them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I get blocked mid-conversation, presumably because they just got bored. I know for a fact I've done nothing to two people who did it to me today

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/18 23:16:24]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

If there is a hint of not taking no for an answer, what will they push for next? Potentially a slippery slope.

You agree to the meet to shut them up. You agree to go to that club that you don't want to go to. You agree to transfer $1 Million dollars to rest in your account whilst the Nigerian Prince sorts out his travel visa... You get the idea.

Just block them before they get rude...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all"

the trouble is, women can't tell in advance if someone is going to react rudely, so a lot of the time it makes life easier..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get blocked mid-conversation, presumably because they just got bored. I know for a fact I've done nothing to two people who did it to me today"

Blocking doesn't always mean you have done nothing wrong. Like you say, perhaps they felt the conversation was going nowhere. At least they didn't set a meet and leave you standing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all"

A delete and no response is a not interested. Check the faq's

Everyone is obsessed with their sent messages. Send it and forget about it. If you get a response, bonus. Don't let the sent message box control your life.

Can you give one good reason why you need to know what happened to your sent message?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all

the trouble is, women can't tell in advance if someone is going to react rudely, so a lot of the time it makes life easier.."
I get that, but surely it doesn't hurt to politely decline, and if he is persistent or annoying then just be blunt and block if need be

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all

Why take the risk of receiving the abuse though?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all

The woman can't tell in advance how the person is going to react. So NO, she does not politely decline. So no, you don't really 'get it'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I get blocked mid-conversation, presumably because they just got bored. I know for a fact I've done nothing to two people who did it to me today

Blocking doesn't always mean you have done nothing wrong. Like you say, perhaps they felt the conversation was going nowhere. At least they didn't set a meet and leave you standing."

True. It'd just be nice to feel like it could lead to a meet but it never does xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all

that's what i just said. i cannot know in advance if some bloke is going to reply with a mouthful of bile..why should i put up with it just because i might offend some random person i don't want to talk to anyway..if it didn't happen, then women would not do that.

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By *atural-born-thrillerMan over a year ago

oulton broad

I find that on the rare occasions that I message people it's best to send then delete and not worry what happens to it ...X regarding the original part of the feed I can only offer my apologies for the lower end of my fellow species who don't understand the meaning of no ...j guess they take it as a maybe and your still undecided and bombard you with messages ...needy is not a good look I find X X

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse"

have you not got what several women have just said?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The majority of men are very polite when you turn them down.

They appreciate someone taking the time to reply to them.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse"

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The majority of men are very polite when you turn them down.

They appreciate someone taking the time to reply to them.

Spot on! xx

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By *Cocksucker84Man over a year ago

newcastle

This has cropped up in forums before and I don't think people are obligated to respond to every single message they receive on here. Some women receive hundreds of messages a day, and I spoke to one girl who said one guy sent her four or five messages within half an hour. If everyone did that your inbox would be going mad. If someone doesn't reply to me then I just move on. No big deal.

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By *abfella40Man over a year ago

barrow in furness

I think a simple no suffices. But guys can be persistent. End of the day a lot of guys are selfish bastard's and just think of themselves. I rarely go on here now, women get 100s of messages from guys just going on and on and I can't be arsed now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?"

It’s not the same as that at all.

People have profiles on here and unless they specifically say they’re not looking to meet then they are expecting to get messages from people on here.

It’s not just some random person just emailing randomly like junk mail.

Whoever used that analogy in the first place has no idea about communication between people on here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The majority of men are very polite when you turn them down.

They appreciate someone taking the time to reply to them.

as I said, being polite doesn't hurt anyone. after all it's a site where people are looking to meet like minded folk. if they dont float your boat thats fine, just move on. most people will accept that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would anyone like a nice warming hot chocolate?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This has cropped up in forums before and I don't think people are obligated to respond to every single message they receive on here. Some women receive hundreds of messages a day, and I spoke to one girl who said one guy sent her four or five messages within half an hour. If everyone did that your inbox would be going mad. If someone doesn't reply to me then I just move on. No big deal. "

Some women enjoy getting hundreds of messages a day. Don’t feel sorry for them. They know perfectly well what to do to stop getting so many messages but they don’t do it. Why?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would anyone like a nice warming hot chocolate?"

Yes please

xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse"

I will 99% of the time message someone back with a polite thanks for the interest but I do not wish to meet with you and or your partner so it's not like I completely ignore people and I get reply like "why are you on fab if your not willing to meet people" or "your fake then if you don't meet me" it's very rarely a nice response or if it is they are like "but just can show you a good time if you just give me one meet"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?"

.....its a swinging site, if the profile says they are looking to meet, then expect messages. if your not interested then all you have to do is say so. most people will accept that. if they don't then you have the option to block

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would anyone like a nice warming hot chocolate?

Yes please

xxx"

My frother's a bit fucked

You'll have to have it flat

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

that is a sign of someone being desperate, and not actually I to the scene, just after a quick shag behind their wife's back. I understand your frustration but were not all the same

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By *ocks99Man over a year ago

Reading

"Would anyone like a nice warming hot chocolate?"

Bring the marshmallows

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm not saying all single guys do it but some are really persistent and when you say no they still keep trying, and if I decline to meet them they turn nasty calling me a slut and free whore anyone else getting the same?? "

What sort of thing do you reply to them? I find most are polite as Miss Innocent said. I've only needed to block a couple of men for being abusive.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

anyone fancy a social in Watford tomorrow evening?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would anyone like a nice warming hot chocolate?

Yes please

xxx

My frother's a bit fucked

You'll have to have it flat"

I bet you've heard that before

xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would anyone like a nice warming hot chocolate?

Bring the marshmallows

Cant do bits of dead pig

Sorry

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By *abfella40Man over a year ago

barrow in furness

"Would anyone like a nice warming hot chocolate?

Yes please

xxx"
shame would be cold by the time I got there lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have never understood why a man will start being abusive after he has been turned down.

It wont make her change her mind will it?

Never abused anyone on this site, and never will.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some women enjoy getting hundreds of messages a day. Don’t feel sorry for them. They know perfectly well what to do to stop getting so many messages but they don’t do it. Why?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have never understood why a man will start being abusive after he has been turned down.

It wont make her change her mind will it?

Never abused anyone on this site, and never will."

same here.

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By *abfella40Man over a year ago

barrow in furness

"I have never understood why a man will start being abusive after he has been turned down.

It wont make her change her mind will it?

Never abused anyone on this site, and never will."
It's a power thing. They are trying to gain some of that back having been rejected.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have never understood why a man will start being abusive after he has been turned down.

It wont make her change her mind will it?

Never abused anyone on this site, and never will."

Same, some guys just think they are god’s gift and can't take a “No” when it happens.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've only ever gotten one really nasty message on here and it was forum-related. I do wonder under what circumstances such messages are sent.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

well I've had a number of people on this thread view my profile, so I am going to send a quick hello to those, and see if I get a hello back. here goes the test lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

What sort of thing do you reply to them? I find most are polite as Miss Innocent said. I've only needed to block a couple of men for being abusive. "

I'm never nasty about it I'm just honest if I say no and they ask why I will tell the truth if I don't find someone attractive I will say sometimes it's purely just I'm not meeting at the moment and that doesn't seem to be a good enough response for some. I'm my saying every single guy is like it because some can be really nice about it x

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

It’s not the same as that at all.

People have profiles on here and unless they specifically say they’re not looking to meet then they are expecting to get messages from people on here.

It’s not just some random person just emailing randomly like junk mail.

Whoever used that analogy in the first place has no idea about communication between people on here."

It's EXACTLY the same as that in a lot of cases - as an example a profile states quite clearly they're not looking to be dominated and yet gets a message from someone offering to dominate them - or the many other examples where the sender has clearly not read a profile - the message is therefore unsolicited and therefore no different from junk mail.

And yes people can apply filters to an extent and a vast majority do - but short of filtering completely so no-one can contact them, and by doing so potentially miss out on the good guys that may do so, who accept no means no or a deleted unread is a no, there's no way to completely avoid getting the unsolicited junk messages they are sent.

Until users accept that a delete with no reply is a perfectly acceptable way of saying no thanks on this site there will always be those that bemoan the lack of reply unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I've had a number of people on this thread view my profile, so I am going to send a quick hello to those, and see if I get a hello back. here goes the test lol"

Why? They viewed your profile, that’s all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We've only ever gotten one really nasty message on here and it was forum-related. I do wonder under what circumstances such messages are sent."

i think the type of men that react like babies, would not react to a couple in the same way at all, just because of the male partner..personally, the circumstances when people have been rude or abusive to me is in response to a completely stock 'thank you for your message, but not really what im looking for.have a nice w/end'..or whatever...not exactly inciting a horrible response..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I've had a number of people on this thread view my profile, so I am going to send a quick hello to those, and see if I get a hello back. here goes the test lol

Why? They viewed your profile, that’s all. "

Welcome to the male mind. Someone looks at us, it's only polite to say hello xx

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By *annooWoman over a year ago

Hastings

yep this happens

all we can do is block

report

hope the next one is better than that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What sort of thing do you reply to them? I find most are polite as Miss Innocent said. I've only needed to block a couple of men for being abusive.

Tip from me- use a reply that isn't personal. "Sorry you're too far away, have fun". (Don't reply when they ask where you are or say they will travel.)

Or "you look lovely but we're not compatible sorry". (Don't tell them you don't fancy them as that can hurt their feelings.)

Men have feelings too- it can be really crap when they get nothing but rejection. Some women/ couples can be rude when they reply (and block!) and that just pisses them off and they take it out on someone else.

I'm not excusing the abusive people at all, just trying to help.

If you're not meeting- if you delete 'men' off your Looking For list it takes you off the searches and really reduces mail.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I've had a number of people on this thread view my profile, so I am going to send a quick hello to those, and see if I get a hello back. here goes the test lol

Why? They viewed your profile, that’s all.

Welcome to the male mind. Someone looks at us, it's only polite to say hello xx"

and people wonder why most women browse undercover!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

It’s not the same as that at all.

People have profiles on here and unless they specifically say they’re not looking to meet then they are expecting to get messages from people on here.

It’s not just some random person just emailing randomly like junk mail.

Whoever used that analogy in the first place has no idea about communication between people on here.

Until users accept that a delete with no reply is a perfectly acceptable way of saying no thanks on this site there will always be those that bemoan the lack of reply unfortunately."

Funny then that I rarely get abusive messages. I think I’ll stick to my way of dealing with messages I get rather than the attitude of treating them like junk mail.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I've had a number of people on this thread view my profile, so I am going to send a quick hello to those, and see if I get a hello back. here goes the test lol

Why? They viewed your profile, that’s all.

Welcome to the male mind. Someone looks at us, it's only polite to say hello xx

and people wonder why most women browse undercover!!"

It's just hello. What's wrong with that? xx

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By *aked AngelMan over a year ago

Hampshire / Surrey

If somebody tells me no, I block straight away. I don't want to bother again.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who the fuck is this Mr nice guy who wants to hijack the thread and convert it into BUT I AM A NICE GUY??!!!

Thank fuck the women can also read...in between the lines.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We've only ever gotten one really nasty message on here and it was forum-related. I do wonder under what circumstances such messages are sent.

If you add "you look lovely".... to.. 'but not really what I'm looking for...' it gives them a little ego boost and might make them smile. No harm in that. Little white lie but nice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"well I've had a number of people on this thread view my profile, so I am going to send a quick hello to those, and see if I get a hello back. here goes the test lol

Why? They viewed your profile, that’s all.

Welcome to the male mind. Someone looks at us, it's only polite to say hello xx"

exactly...and I have had 4 replies to say hello back so far. see it doesn't hurt to give a polite response afterall lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We've only ever gotten one really nasty message on here and it was forum-related. I do wonder under what circumstances such messages are sent.

If you add "you look lovely".... to.. 'but not really what I'm looking for...' it gives them a little ego boost and might make them smile. No harm in that. Little white lie but nice. "

This is exactly what we tend to do.

It seems less blunt.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What sort of thing do you reply to them? I find most are polite as Miss Innocent said. I've only needed to block a couple of men for being abusive.

Tip from me- use a reply that isn't personal. "Sorry you're too far away, have fun". (Don't reply when they ask where you are or say they will travel.)

Or "you look lovely but we're not compatible sorry". (Don't tell them you don't fancy them as that can hurt their feelings.)

I'm not excusing the abusive people at all, just trying to help.

If you're not meeting- if you delete 'men' off your Looking For list it takes you off the searches and really reduces mail.

Exactly this. I used generic reasons for not meeting, I wouldn’t reject someone for personal reasons. Distance, not being able to accommodate, don’t meet smokers, not looking for the same thing, didn’t support Norwich

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Tip from me- use a reply that isn't personal. "Sorry you're too far away, have fun". (Don't reply when they ask where you are or say they will travel.)

Or "you look lovely but we're not compatible sorry". (Don't tell them you don't fancy them as that can hurt their feelings.)

I'm not excusing the abusive people at all, just trying to help.

If you're not meeting- if you delete 'men' off your Looking For list it takes you off the searches and really reduces mail.

Thank you I will definitely be using these in the future, I get that some women/couples could be rude and blunt also x

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By *ubmissiveman8520Man over a year ago

Swansea

Was a single gent no one should be pushy or rude when pm or talking about a meet up it gets my goat up when I hear lady's are having a hard time because they say no to a man then he starts being an ass gives all single guy's a bad name grow up gents

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tip from me- use a reply that isn't personal. "Sorry you're too far away, have fun". (Don't reply when they ask where you are or say they will travel.)

Or "you look lovely but we're not compatible sorry". (Don't tell them you don't fancy them as that can hurt their feelings.)

I'm not excusing the abusive people at all, just trying to help.

If you're not meeting- if you delete 'men' off your Looking For list it takes you off the searches and really reduces mail.

Thank you I will definitely be using these in the future, I get that some women/couples could be rude and blunt also x"

You've made me smile. Thank you.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Give yourself a break for a while from the hassle.

Either send a no thanks and immediately block, or just block anytime.

I didn't do this for years but it's so much easier when you do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What sort of thing do you reply to them? I find most are polite as Miss Innocent said. I've only needed to block a couple of men for being abusive.

Tip from me- use a reply that isn't personal. "Sorry you're too far away, have fun". (Don't reply when they ask where you are or say they will travel.)

Or "you look lovely but we're not compatible sorry". (Don't tell them you don't fancy them as that can hurt their feelings.)

I'm not excusing the abusive people at all, just trying to help.

If you're not meeting- if you delete 'men' off your Looking For list it takes you off the searches and really reduces mail.

Who on earth supports Nor

oops

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Was a single gent no one should be pushy or rude when pm or talking about a meet up it gets my goat up when I hear lady's are having a hard time because they say no to a man then he starts being an ass gives all single guy's a bad name grow up gents "

It doesn’t give all men a bad name.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

What sort of thing do you reply to them? I find most are polite as Miss Innocent said. I've only needed to block a couple of men for being abusive.

Tip from me- use a reply that isn't personal. "Sorry you're too far away, have fun". (Don't reply when they ask where you are or say they will travel.)

Or "you look lovely but we're not compatible sorry". (Don't tell them you don't fancy them as that can hurt their feelings.)

I'm not excusing the abusive people at all, just trying to help.

If you're not meeting- if you delete 'men' off your Looking For list it takes you off the searches and really reduces mail.

Who on earth supports Nor

oops

Bloody cheek

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

These types of guys are just desperate, they don’t get any attention out of the site so that’s why they do that! It’s spoils it for us normal guys who could easily pull on nights out but who actually are on this site because of the potential opportunity of meets that would be out side of the norm like fetish and kinks or 3sums / group sex! Or even just for more Experianced sex with women on here! Take no notice and block them and name and Shame best way!!

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Funny then that I rarely get abusive messages. I think I’ll stick to my way of dealing with messages I get rather than the attitude of treating them like junk mail."

We each use the site and it's tools as we see fit and that at the end of the day is all that matters - but good for you if you've found a way that works for you

Unfortunately as evidenced by this thread there are those out there that DO get abusive messages regardless of whatever safeguards they put in place and it comes back to if everyone accepted that a delete without reply or a polite no thanks, means no thanks, the site would be a lot happier place

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We each use the site and it's tools as we see fit and that at the end of the day is all that matters - but good for you if you've found a way that works for you

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Doesn't give all single guys a bad name at all - we are each (men/women/couples alike) judged on our own behaviour and if we are genuine and show respect and consideration then that will always shine through regardless of the actions of others

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We each use the site and it's tools as we see fit and that at the end of the day is all that matters - but good for you if you've found a way that works for you

totally agree.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I did say in my original post that NOT all guys do it and I'm not trying to give them a bad name at all as I have met some genuine guys off this site that I have actually become friends with and I get on really well with in and out of the bedroom so not all guys are bad there are good eggs out there

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"The majority of men are very polite when you turn them down.

They appreciate someone taking the time to reply to them.

This is the thing. Some women have experienced abuse when rejecting others not so. Pot luck who messages you I guess. People are going to continue doing what they have been doing regardless in terms of whether they politely decline or just block so I am not going to give my opinon on that. I for one do appreciate anyone who replies to me. But I am not representative of all men of course.

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?"

This get's said a lot. It's a very cheap and robotic way of looking at it. I got a nice item of unsolicited mail once. It was a tax rebate cheque. See my point?

Personally hate it when I see this analogy. It's cold. Just a reply advising posters to refer to the Faq is good enough.

No offence intended.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The majority of men are very polite when you turn them down.

They appreciate someone taking the time to reply to them.

Ok, I’ve had crude first messages and I’ve sent harsh messages back to which I think I’ll probably get some abuse back but nope, they’ll either not reply or they reply being very apologetic and we then have a chat and it is nearly always the fact they get messages deleted unread after trying being nice when messaging being suggestive, a bit rude etc and nothing works for them.

Having someone actually take some time to respond to them, even if it is to tell them off at first means a lot to them.

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

Some women enjoy getting hundreds of messages a day. Don’t feel sorry for them. They know perfectly well what to do to stop getting so many messages but they don’t do it. Why?"

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By *ornylittlesubWoman over a year ago

Grangemouth

If I am not interested I always say a polite "no thanks"...and I think I am pretty forgiving/easy going....yet I have over 60 guys blocked on here because of the abuse I have received from them....so yes it does happen, a lot.....and no I know its not all guys, or even most, but its enough to make things unpleasant at times.

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"I have never understood why a man will start being abusive after he has been turned down.

It wont make her change her mind will it?

Never abused anyone on this site, and never will. It's a power thing. They are trying to gain some of that back having been rejected."

I agree that's exactly what it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The majority of men are very polite when you turn them down.

They appreciate someone taking the time to reply to them.

Having someone actually take some time to respond to them, even if it is to tell them off at first means a lot to them."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This get's said a lot. It's a very cheap and robotic way of looking at it. I got a nice item of unsolicited mail once. It was a tax rebate cheque. See my point?

Personally hate it when I see this analogy. It's cold. Just a reply advising posters to refer to the Faq is good enough.

No offence intended."

If people don't want to receive mails asking them for a fuck, don't put a profile with sexual pics on a sex site!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Oh please meet me I need you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Block. Move on.

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By *ornysxcoupleCouple over a year ago

Maldon

For us it’s the guys with short term memory loss that annoy us. Get a message asking for a meet, respond with a decline for whatever reason. Hear nothing back. 48hrs later same thing, same person, same answer, hate having to block people, but seriously, if we say we’re not meeting till xxxx why do guys continue to push an get blocked, only to then crop up on here moaning about it. Seems several guys we’ve had to block start threads along those lines, but we’re not prepared to get into a forum slangging match,

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This get's said a lot. It's a very cheap and robotic way of looking at it. I got a nice item of unsolicited mail once. It was a tax rebate cheque. See my point?

Personally hate it when I see this analogy. It's cold. Just a reply advising posters to refer to the Faq is good enough.

No offence intended.

If people don't want to receive mails asking them for a fuck, don't put a profile with sexual pics on a sex site!!"

The thing is it's not a case of people not wanting to receive mails asking them for a fuck at all - after all that's the reason the majority of us are here.

It's the mails from people asking for a fuck that have obviously not read the profile or are obviously not a good match or ask for a fuck in a crude or derogatory way that people don't want to get, and shouldn't be expected to reply to, and which ARE in effect junk mail no matter which way you try and dress it up

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple over a year ago

Halifax

On my single profile,I always try and reply of its a nice message and they have read my profile.

I won't answer if they haven't and thats stated clearly at the heading of my profile,so they cant say they didnt see it..

If they choose to abuse me,i will give them a message back and block.

It just shows me I made the right decision

Miss

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By *earboynottinghamMan over a year ago

Nottingham

Just don’t reply and block, Job done.

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This get's said a lot. It's a very cheap and robotic way of looking at it. I got a nice item of unsolicited mail once. It was a tax rebate cheque. See my point?

Personally hate it when I see this analogy. It's cold. Just a reply advising posters to refer to the Faq is good enough.

No offence intended.

If people don't want to receive mails asking them for a fuck, don't put a profile with sexual pics on a sex site!!"

There is that too lol

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This get's said a lot. It's a very cheap and robotic way of looking at it. I got a nice item of unsolicited mail once. It was a tax rebate cheque. See my point?

Personally hate it when I see this analogy. It's cold. Just a reply advising posters to refer to the Faq is good enough.

No offence intended.

If people don't want to receive mails asking them for a fuck, don't put a profile with sexual pics on a sex site!!

The thing is it's not a case of people not wanting to receive mails asking them for a fuck at all - after all that's the reason the majority of us are here.

I stand by my post. It's a shitty analogy.

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By *vy_GreenWoman over a year ago

Soham

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all"

If someone walks up to me in the street and throws an apple at me, I'm not obligated to pay for it just because I was in their vicinity and they thought I'd be interested in an apple. Simple as that.

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple over a year ago

London

I have said this millions of times, but despite hundreds of messages from guys, we have only once had an abusive one.

Our secret? We don't reply to guys we aren't interested in. I have never understood this idea that it's better to send a message saying you aren't interested.

Look at it from the single guy's view. He sends a message to someone he finds attractive. He sees he has a reply and gets all excited. He reads the reply that sees (however you dress it up) that someone he finds attractive does not find him attractive. Cue upset and disappointment. I am not surprised some lash out.

Much better to just ignore and most likely he will forget he messaged you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?"

What has junk mail got to do with it. Every person on here joined in the knowledge and hope that they'd receive mail from other people. No one signs up to receive junk mail.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It must be so tiring pressing that block button...and they say the homeless have it tough.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm sure its been said, say no thanks then block. Or, do what I do and block everyone so you can search for yourself. I know, novel idea isn't it??!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes and I tell them I won't travel to Bristol and cant have them here. they keep on then get blocked.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This get's said a lot. It's a very cheap and robotic way of looking at it. I got a nice item of unsolicited mail once. It was a tax rebate cheque. See my point?

Personally hate it when I see this analogy. It's cold. Just a reply advising posters to refer to the Faq is good enough.

No offence intended.

If people don't want to receive mails asking them for a fuck, don't put a profile with sexual pics on a sex site!!

The thing is it's not a case of people not wanting to receive mails asking them for a fuck at all - after all that's the reason the majority of us are here.

I stand by my post. It's a shitty analogy."

In your opinion, which you of course are entitled to, as I am mine - you're right in that some messages people on here receive are positive (of course they are, none of us would be here if they weren't) and it's not those messages which are considered junk.

The ones that, in my opinion (and that of others it seems), are no different to junk mail and quite rightly treated as such, are those where the sender has clearly not read/doesn't match the profile, are crude or derogatory and similar - no-one signs up to get those kind of messages - therefore I fail to see how they are any different to unsolicited junk mail from Nigerian princes, local pizza parlours, or double glazing firms?!

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This get's said a lot. It's a very cheap and robotic way of looking at it. I got a nice item of unsolicited mail once. It was a tax rebate cheque. See my point?

Personally hate it when I see this analogy. It's cold. Just a reply advising posters to refer to the Faq is good enough.

No offence intended.

If people don't want to receive mails asking them for a fuck, don't put a profile with sexual pics on a sex site!!

The thing is it's not a case of people not wanting to receive mails asking them for a fuck at all - after all that's the reason the majority of us are here.

I stand by my post. It's a shitty analogy.

We are not going to agree on this are we lol.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

We are not going to agree on this are we lol.

We can agree to disagree though - which is the joy of debates (mass or otherwise) someone doesn't always have to "win" or even agree with the other person - sometimes you can accept the other person has an opinion that differs from yours and move on

Which is actually not a bad way for the disgruntled single guys on here to look at things now I think about it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

What has junk mail got to do with it. Every person on here joined in the knowledge and hope that they'd receive mail from other people. No one signs up to receive junk mail. "

My point is, and to answer earlier criticisms...

Choosing to answer a message or not is a personal choice. It is easy for a single guy with a quiet inbox to say I'll reply to every message.

This comes up time and time again. Women with full inboxes do not have the time to reply thanks but no thanks to every simgle message, for the myriad of reasons mentioned in the thread.

Not replying isn't rude. No one deserves a reply.

I use the junk mail as an example. No one moves into a house hoping to get junk mail.

Maybe putting it better would be, do you write to everyone who sends you junk mail to explain that you don't like pizza, don't need double glazing fitting or that you don't need a stair lift?

Junk mail is targeted on the off chance you might need what they are selling. Most people have a quick read then bin it, rather than writing to say please take me off your mailing list.

To a previous poster, maybe I don't understand the nature of communication on Fab.

Maybe I'd be better off keeping my opinions to myself

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

We are not going to agree on this are we lol.

Which is actually not a bad way for the disgruntled single guys on here to look at things now I think about it

That I can agree with

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We are not going to agree on this are we lol.

Which is actually not a bad way for the disgruntled single guys on here to look at things now I think about it

I like this. I agree to disagree.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On the issue of whether it’s rude not to reply or not, I think there needs to be a sense of realism. For example it’s quite routine for HR departments to not send rejection letters to those who have not been shortlisted for interviews. I guess replying to every candidate is considered a waste of resources. Some famous people get more mail than they could possibly process themselves, so they employ people to reply on their behalf. The queen is probably an example. Replying personally to this that and the other is not the routine for all aspects of life. So who decides what is good manners in different situations? Who decides what the etiquette is? What is a reasonable amount of time to spend doing admin work?

Mrs

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By *piritsonfabCouple over a year ago

Nottingham

I tend to answer all my messages the same way. I say, if they see us in a club come over and say hi

The ones who say "wanna shag now", I say sure, we're at chams right now come on over.

Have a guess how many take me up on it....thats right...zero;)

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By *lade10000Man over a year ago

Wiltshire

Can't imagine why anyone would persist beyond the first 'no thanks', or more usual no repl msg deleted; that's fairly clear, although a quick msg back would be polite. I'll tend to block people who aren't interested, just so I dont bother them again.

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By *aeBabeWoman over a year ago

London

Yup, it's worst in person and they really won't take no for an answer and get physical... that's when they get chucked out of the club or party

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have said this millions of times, but despite hundreds of messages from guys, we have only once had an abusive one.

Our secret? We don't reply to guys we aren't interested in. I have never understood this idea that it's better to send a message saying you aren't interested.

Much better to just ignore and most likely he will forget he messaged you. "
ha true it will get lost in the sea of unanswered messages he sends

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I just don’t get why anyone would send abuse for getting a no thanks message!

I appreciate all of the comments above, most perfectly well made and well considered, but throwing hurtful verbal & seemingly very personal abuse because of a deleted message or a thanks but no thanks response?

I repeat, I just don’t get it.

I’m off to lurk again....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find not answering and bulk deleting does the trick.

I can tell by the profile and the 1st line whether the person will be someone I take it further or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had same thing I'd name n shame then report n block ruins it for the real men

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all

the trouble is, women can't tell in advance if someone is going to react rudely, so a lot of the time it makes life easier.. I get that, but surely it doesn't hurt to politely decline, and if he is persistent or annoying then just be blunt and block if need be "
actually it dies hurt if you reply then they can get round any subsequent filters you choose to apply, hence delete no reply. Try doing this hundreds of times a day yourself.

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By *arry WindsorMan over a year ago

Heaton Park Manchester

"anyone fancy a social in Watford tomorrow evening?

Sorry mate, busy tomorrow and Watford is too far away.

Should I block you now or wait until you reply with a "OK pal no problem" message?

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Don't understand this post op, there's a block button #simples

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't understand this post op, there's a block button #simples"

Yeah, but why do we always have to resort the the block button?! Why can't a no suffice?! No means no, simple...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

yea I get that a lot

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

We had to block single males in the end, got too much

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Some messages I reply to, some get instantly deleted & the sender blocked.

Polite, well written messages will always get a polite no thanks in return.

Others, the crude & lewd, from experience, I know if I reply will either lead to more messages trying to convince me to change my mind or be abusive.

I CBA to deal with either, so they're the ones that get the ignore & block treatment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sure its been said, say no thanks then block. Or, do what I do and block everyone so you can search for yourself. I know, novel idea isn't it??!"

agree, block & search yourself, It’s tedious seeing numerous threads moaning about too many messages, guys not taking no for an answer, blah, blah, blah

You’d think some judge their own self worth by the amount of messages they get

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"We had to block single males in the end, got too much"

I did this and blocked MF couples as I was finding the male halves just as bad.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Block. Move on. Job done!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Filter single guys out and look yourself to find the people you would want to meet.

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By *oiluvfunMan over a year ago

Penrith

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all

A delete and no response is a not interested. Check the faq's

Everyone is obsessed with their sent messages. Send it and forget about it. If you get a response, bonus. Don't let the sent message box control your life.

Good advice, take heed! I usually leave a sent message for 2 weeks, and if it hasn’t been read by then, just delete it and try again. If I send a message and it is read then straight delete with no reply, I assume that profile is not interested in me, so delete the message and block that profile

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its just a shame that a few can ruin so much for the rest, completely agree and get where single ladies and couples are coming from.. Theres absolutely no need for rudeness. As for the sent box, mine gets cleared every time i come on if im lucky enouhh to get a response it will be in my inbox! Lol.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple over a year ago

Chester

"We had to block single males in the end, got too much

I did this and blocked MF couples as I was finding the male halves just as bad. "

For us now its mainly random friend requests from couples, no previous contact so rude & some obv fake profiles

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"We had to block single males in the end, got too much

I did this and blocked MF couples as I was finding the male halves just as bad.

For us now its mainly random friend requests from couples, no previous contact so rude & some obv fake profiles

Same here.

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By *emini ManMan over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"Its just a shame that a few can ruin so much for the rest, completely agree and get where single ladies and couples are coming from.. Theres absolutely no need for rudeness. As for the sent box, mine gets cleared every time i come on if im lucky enouhh to get a response it will be in my inbox! Lol. "

Thing is no-one ruins anything for anyone other than themselves - if any user has realistic expectations, is genuine, respectful, considerate and willing to take their time and not get frustrated - puts some effort into both their profile and using the site, along with going to clubs/socials, then there's no reason they shouldn't find their experience of the site a fulfilling one.

Those that are rude, disrespectful and have incorrectly set expectations and don't put the right effort in, are only ruining it for themselves, no-one else.

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By *even inchesMan over a year ago

nottingham

When I get turned down I always reply “thank you for your honesty “

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Don't understand this post op, there's a block button #simples"

Why should I have to block everyone no should mean no at the end of the day!

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By *ast_jjMan over a year ago

Dublin and London

No shul absolutely mean no but for some idiots it doesn't, that's why the block button is there. Block and move on.

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By *hythmic DriverMan over a year ago

Croydon

"Don't understand this post op, there's a block button #simples

Why should I have to block everyone no should mean no at the end of the day! "

Agreed. You shouldn't have to block people if people had some decency.

I've had replies saying not interested. I always reply to say thank you for letting me know. Sometimes i dont get the chance as they instantly block you.

Also you may block that person now but then things may change whereby that person is now an option, which happened to me recently

So i probably wouldn't recommend blocking everyone instantly just because that person isn't right for you at this moment

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a single guy i just want to say i think that is terrible and they should be banned from the site. But from experience, there are a lot af nasty women on here, don't think a woman has ever just said no thanks to me, they tend to send a nasty message expressing how ugly and so on you are and how you have no chance with them so not just the guys being nasty. A lot of unpleasent people on here ruining the experience for everyone. I tend to just block people that are not interested so i dont accidentally message them again in the future after sending them a polite message thanking for there honest reply and wishing them all the best. Nasty people dont belong here.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t mind them getting abusive, I don’t block deliberately so I can see what type of guy they are. If they won’t take no for an answer that’s a red flag, you’re better to find out now they won’t accept no than when you meet them and they decide you’re getting it regardless of what you say and hurt you. If they get abusive again you know they’re an awful person. Sometimes I even like to test the guys I like to see what their next message, if any, says. If I’m happy I’ll get back to them at a later date. Everyone can be nice when things are going their way, you see their real personality when you reject them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just block and delete OP, the egotistical maniacs can’t handle rejection.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/01/18 11:36:01]

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Absolutely right here, it's not gender specific.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple over a year ago

bedford

Just block them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Trying using your filters. If it's still an occurrence then simply block or report the individual.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Trying using your filters. If it's still an occurrence then simply block or report the individual.

How will filters stop the abusive guys? I don’t think it’s dependant on age, if they have pics, are new, If they are verified or whether they are a smite supporter. Anyone can be abusive.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Trying using your filters. If it's still an occurrence then simply block or report the individual.

How will filters stop the abusive guys? I don’t think it’s dependant on age, if they have pics, are new, If they are verified or whether they are a smite supporter. Anyone can be abusive."

So then block everyone and trawl through the searches?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't understand this post op, there's a block button #simples

Why should I have to block everyone no should mean no at the end of the day!

Agreed. You shouldn't have to block people if people had some decency.

I've had replies saying not interested. I always reply to say thank you for letting me know. Sometimes i dont get the chance as they instantly block you.

Also you may block that person now but then things may change whereby that person is now an option, which happened to me recently

So i probably wouldn't recommend blocking everyone instantly just because that person isn't right for you at this moment "

I’m not sure it’s a good move to thank someone for replying. We try to reply to a most of our nice messages, but I do get put off knowing

that after we’ve politely declined, we’ll probably be getting one more message. We’d feel much more comfortable if it were just left after we’ve said no.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I always find it strange why anyone would send abuse when they're rejected. Like that's gonna give them a chance or make them feel better. Common sense tells you fab is a sausagefest and women are typically bombarded with messages on a daily basis. Of you're lucky to be read and get a reply great if not. Move on. Go out in the real world, converse with real people.

I don't take this too seriously and never message anyone who's ignored my message. Although this happened to me just last week. Received a wink. So sent a message simply saying hi and feel free to chat if they liked. What I got back was hilarious. A barrage of abuse about my profile, which is tongue in cheek and I'd thunk very obvious. But also me personally. Never met the person but I was blocked before I had a chance to say thanks for their message.

Moral is there are dickheads on both sides and having a message from them sure does help filter them out.

Happy fabbing folks. Keep it real.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't get it at all from the blokes who contact me wanting fun, even though my profile says I'm straight. Normally I din't even read the mail, but occasionally I do and reply that I'm not interested, ta. They're normally very polite about it and don't take offence.

However many ladies I have met with have experienced this problem with "those" guys and I can only assume that the difference is because whilst gay or bi guys know it's nothing personal about them my turning them down (they could be a cover star on gay times, but I'm just not interested in blokes) men who you turn down know it's something about them you're not attracted to, so whilst the vast majority can take that on the chin a number will have fragile egos and suddenly turn nasty.

If they do this then ignore, delete and block. Think of them as an annoying small demented dog that follows you, nipping at your heels with it's teeth till you go through a gate and shove it firmly back onto the other side before closing the gate between you and carrying on with your life...

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By *istressdandsubtCouple over a year ago

caterham

We have had abuse becauce we reply saying you havent read our profile and your not what we are looking for being a bi couple. And get stick at which pount we just block .remember tou are on here for what you want not what they want. We didnt uaed to block just not reply but then a few weeks/months later they would contact again and start again so now we just block and dont worry about it . you being a single lady have the power so use it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This old chestnut again. Expect messages, yes. Have to answer them, no.

Enough of this "I was brought up with manners..." bollocks. You were brought up in the 70s and 80s to converse with people in a real life situation where you tend to meet people in equal amounts based on gender, with the exception of certain workplaces obviously. You weren't brought up primarily to converse on a futuristic messageboard in decades to come for people seeking sex with others, where men outnubered men 20 to 1! The goalposts are moved massively and therefore what constitutes 'good manners' are drastically different. This manners bullshit rears it's head time and time again and I know full well that the logic I am about to impart won't stop someone else who plainly doesn't get it at all bleating about "manners" and feeling hard done by.

Now consider this; I usually get between say 6 and 20 messages a day, averaging about a dozen perhaps, usually dependent on who I'm chatting to and how often I'm on site. Now let's say that women on here outnumber men 20 to 1, which probably isn't a bad estimate. One's immediate thought is that the average woman would therefore receive around 240 in an average day, yet even this figure can be skewed upwards due to the number of men who "carpet bomb" every single woman or couple within a certain radius, say 30 miles or so, with the same email, and it's usually a shit one too. 400 to 500 daily probably isn't too wide of the mark in cases.

Now let's say it takes a woman a minute on average to open the average mail, digest it's contents then quickly reply. Some will take longer, such as longer mails, those she's chatting with, etc. Some will be shorter, such as a mail from 'Cuntbreeder Beast' that simply says "Mmmm,u want cum in pusy?Lv 2 mk u preggo bbe" which goes straight in the bin where it belongs. But a minute is probably a fair estimation for an average. Now let's say even 150 of those mails are from guys that don't float her boat, but aren't being blatently offensive, at least in their first message.

You're therefore asking her to spend 150 minutes or 2 and a half hours each day replying "Thanks but I don't think we're suitable. Good luck anyway!

" to the plethora of men she will never meet anyway. Given that this is the 21st century and most women now either have possibly 16 hours a day minimum taken up by work, studies or childcare added to a need to sleep and you think that it is perfectly reasonable, in fact downright rude of her not to give up about a third of her free time in life in the gallant pursuit of replying "Thanks, but no thanks" hundreds of times on a fucking website, her eyes glued to the screen like a zombie.

I would hope that this expectation of yours is borne out of being naive or unthinking with regards to sites like this and your inability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Because the alternative is that you still think that "manners" demanding such a huge chunk of a person's time is highly acceptable and I would reason that you Sir are the one with bad manners to expect such a thing. Highly bad manners in fact, which you were supposedly raised not to have.

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This old chestnut again. Expect messages, yes. Have to answer them, no.

You're therefore asking her to spend 150 minutes or 2 and a half hours each day replying "Thanks but I don't think we're suitable. Good luck anyway!

I would hope that this expectation of yours is borne out of being naive or unthinking with regards to sites like this and your inability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

TLDR

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By *sGivesWoodWoman over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This old chestnut again. Expect messages, yes. Have to answer them, no.

You're therefore asking her to spend 150 minutes or 2 and a half hours each day replying "Thanks but I don't think we're suitable. Good luck anyway!

I would hope that this expectation of yours is borne out of being naive or unthinking with regards to sites like this and your inability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Wow bloody awesome post, well done you for saying it how it really is for us ladies xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This old chestnut again. Expect messages, yes. Have to answer them, no.

You're therefore asking her to spend 150 minutes or 2 and a half hours each day replying "Thanks but I don't think we're suitable. Good luck anyway!

I would hope that this expectation of yours is borne out of being naive or unthinking with regards to sites like this and your inability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Well worth the read. I salute you for your well written words sir

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/01/18 13:05:40]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Aw, thank you guys, I'm feeling the love! Especially as I've noticed a few little word mistakes in my somewhat lengthy post where the ratios are concerned..

But the general overview is the same and I'm glad you got it!

Personally I'm very happy being a single male on Fab and personally I think it's the best demograph to be. My mailbox doesn't take up too much of my time, which as a father and and someone who does long work hours when away from home is quite favourable! And I'm having an absolute whale of a time on here, most people are hugely friendly and I've no complaints whatsoever about the amount and quality of delectable shenanigans I indulge in with members of the fairer sex that appeal to me, quite the opposite in fact!

There's not a trace of the dreaded 'white knight' in my post as in all honesty I have no need of such a silly tits up strategy, it's just to be honest if I were a single lady on here I think I'd go nuts with how this site would work for me and I salute you for having the strength of will for putting up with these unfortunately unavoidable time-consuming "side-effects." Women of fortitude indeed!

And to think that a lot of single guys really believe they have it harder on here? It's a paradise as far as I see it and ladies like yourselves invariably make it so.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Aw, thank you guys, I'm feeling the love! Especially as I've noticed a few little word mistakes in my somewhat lengthy post where the ratios are concerned..

But the general overview is the same and I'm glad you got it!

And to think that a lot of single guys really believe they have it harder on here? It's a paradise as far as I see it and ladies like yourselves invariably make it so.

Nicely put in perspective. Good man.

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By *annysupMan over a year ago

Yarmouth

I get this alot from gay men. I'm up for a chat but in 2 message they tell me how good it will be and I'm missing out then begging. It has changed the way I talk to women

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

We aren’t interested in meeting single men, and we always reply politely saying thanks, but no thanks. But we’ve had a few messages now on exactly the same lines as above, so now we just ignore and block. It’s the nasty few who spoil it for the nice many.

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Aw, thank you guys, I'm feeling the love! Especially as I've noticed a few little word mistakes in my somewhat lengthy post where the ratios are concerned..

But the general overview is the same and I'm glad you got it!

And to think that a lot of single guys really believe they have it harder on here? It's a paradise as far as I see it and ladies like yourselves invariably make it so.

You are just repeating what's been saud hundreds of times though lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whilst I have my doubts about the 'hundreds' I'd be naive to think it probably hasn't been said many a time here in it's entirety, because these threads are huge in number and to most users who've been on site long enough it's the glaringly honest truth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Quite frequent on here. Block and move on. Good ones are out there amongst the idiots.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

on our couples profile a guy messaged us asking to meet, the mrs said no politely and the guy (who bragged about the size of his cock on his profile) proceeded to tell her he would give her a better fuck than the husband cause he’s obviously got a small cock if you’re on here

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I used to get this as well, so now like others have said I say thanks but no thanks and then block them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We politely declined a guy yesterday he came back with, fuck off , you fat old cunts , fuck off !

Classy guy , bigb was the profile I think.

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By *ieman300Man over a year ago

Best Greggs in Cheshire East

"Whilst I have my doubts about the 'hundreds' I'd be naive to think it probably hasn't been said many a time here in it's entirety, because these threads are huge in number and to most users who've been on site long enough it's the glaringly honest truth."

I have told myself a million times not to exagerate

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By *ykeymm8Man over a year ago

southampton

I try to be polite and not pester by checking the little icons that tell you if you have messaged them yet. I'm never sure on protocol if a conversation stops half way. I assume I'm not what they're looking for and move on. Guys that can't take rejection shouldn't make so many offers and give nice normal fellas a bad name

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Those that are rude, disrespectful and have incorrectly set expectations and don't put the right effort in, are only ruining it for themselves, no-one else.

Completely get what you mean, you can only ruin it for yourselves, if your an idiot, well then your an idiot! a lot of the women and couples i know there expectations of men have dropped on here due to things like the rudeness. Its perfectly fine to not respond if you have a hundred messages, even if you have just one message. So when i say ruin it for others im talking more about what people expect to hear from men in general as i defiantly see a lot more negative talk about single guys then positive in the forums and gerneral chat. Like you said too many come here with unrealistic expectations. Just have a laugh and a good time.

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By *ocks99Man over a year ago

Reading

"We politely declined a guy yesterday he came back with, fuck off , you fat old cunts , fuck off !

Classy guy , bigb was the profile I think.

A bullet well dodged

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm sure its been said, say no thanks then block. Or, do what I do and block everyone so you can search for yourself. I know, novel idea isn't it??!

agree, block & search yourself, It’s tedious seeing numerous threads moaning about too many messages, guys not taking no for an answer, blah, blah, blah

You’d think some judge their own self worth by the amount of messages they get

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t mind them getting abusive, I don’t block deliberately so I can see what type of guy they are. If they won’t take no for an answer that’s a red flag, you’re better to find out now they won’t accept no than when you meet them and they decide you’re getting it regardless of what you say and hurt you. If they get abusive again you know they’re an awful person. Sometimes I even like to test the guys I like to see what their next message, if any, says. If I’m happy I’ll get back to them at a later date. Everyone can be nice when things are going their way, you see their real personality when you reject them

Very much this! You make a brilliant point.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I always send polite messages, never crude or obscene ones.

maybe i was brought up the proper way and learned to answer someone, even if I don't want to converse

So you answer all the junk mail you get and every email from Nigerian Princes?

This old chestnut again. Expect messages, yes. Have to answer them, no.

You're therefore asking her to spend 150 minutes or 2 and a half hours each day replying "Thanks but I don't think we're suitable. Good luck anyway!

I would hope that this expectation of yours is borne out of being naive or unthinking with regards to sites like this and your inability to put yourself in someone else's shoes.

Probably the best post I’ve ever read on the forums

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If she says no guys its sad yes but you have a choice to ,if her choice is no you have absolutely no choice but to accept it ,even if the method she used to come to her decision was in some circumstances a little ruthless ,like the lady said in the very long winded post their isn't enough hours in the day to answer everyone ,its just a fact of life here guys get frustrated and so do women ,the numbers of men to women create it ,so don't get angry and bad mannered just know its going to happen and move on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I saw someone not taking no for an answer in person today.

The woman was trying to be polite but in the end, she said no so many times I lost count.

Desperation isn't a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No means no x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all"

I get that too or your not my type what type do they think I am cos I don't know lol

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By *ittyclawsXXXWoman over a year ago

Newcastle

First few days on fab I received a fair few messages and didn't get round to replying to them all

One I politely said thank you for the interest but no and was insulted regarding my weight. Luckily I'm resilient enough to not care about some idiot who asks for sex then insults when refused.

Another I read and meant to reply later, to recieve a message calling me a stuck up cunt as I hadn't responded yet.

I do try and reply to all and I do my best to be polite but sometimes it's just easier to block so some butt hurt entitled idiot doesn't ruin my day

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all

I get that too or your not my type what type do they think I am cos I don't know lol"

They are not thinking you are any particular type, they just know you are not their type. But if women aren’t allowed to ignore and delete, and aren’t allowed to say ‘you’re not my type’, what is an acceptable way of rejecting a man they don’t wish to pursue the possibility of having sex with?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Keyboard warriors

They would never say half that stuff to you face the fuckin pussys. Some folk just cant handle rejection

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"as a single guy, if someone says they are not interested then I'm fine with that, I would rather them be honest and have the decency to say no than just delete my message and not respond at all

I get that too or your not my type what type do they think I am cos I don't know lol

Mrs"

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