FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Feeling down :(
Feeling down :(
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 so sorry to read this hun... the way you have been treted by some of the guys is truly shocking, and swinging or not, some of it is actionable!
We both hope you find some peace and can avoid the tossers in future. You look loike a lovely lady who doesn't deserve this sort of crap.
{{{{{{hugs}}}}} M & A xx | |||
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All my best wishes to you, please stick around. | |||
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"Im having a bit of a rant, because to be quite honest im just feeling fed up and need to get it out my system The one biggest thing i have noticed swinging since i split from my partner is the difference in the ways men have treat me meeting me alone as apposed to meeting with my hubby, at times its been quite shocking over the past year i've had a guy hit me, a guy turn up to my house un announced, a guy who got my address from taxi firm i used and turn up at my home, guys i have met being abusive/pushy with me on here and in life cause i havnt wanted to meet them again or play with them on first meets, had one guy lock me in his hotel room when i wanted to leave, i had one guy call me up yesterday and was just so nasty to me, i had met him quite a few times, he seemed a decent guy so met him regular, then the last time i met i decided, for reasons i wont go into, i didnt want to meet him again, when i told him this he didnt take it well he kept messaging me on here so i blocked him so he called me up, told me i needed putting in my place and that i wasnt anything special that i was just a sad fat old woman and he could do better than me and the only reason he met me was cause i was bether than nothing and because i was ugly was easy to meet, its easy to say dont let it bother you but it does bother me because i was never rude to him and its not nice to just be seen as a fat shag thats better than a wank, and now im wondering how many other guys message me because thats how they see me, despite having mail like that from guys on here ive turned down before it really hurt coming from someone i knew and have played with regular, then on top of that another guy i have met a few times keeps mailing me and texting me all the time asking whats up with me and why havnt i been in touch with him, had he upset me in some way? why havnt i met him again etc i had both of them calling and texting at same time, its swingers site ffs i should have to justify why i havnt called someone or met them again should i? My biggest problem is ive been swinging now for about 10 years and untill last year always as a couple with my husband, we met single guys as a couple and never ever in all the time we played together did i get any of this abuse yet since ive been meeting alone it just seems to be getting more and more regular, mostly guys just pestering me over and over for re meets, i really have got to the point i cant cope with it, do men just see single females as a easy target? are we seen as someone that you dont have to be respectful to because we have no man to 'look after us', i have had to call up my phone provider this morning to try and get my mobile number changed because im just sick of the text and calls but they said because its on contract i will have to pay up to the end of my contract and start a new one to get a new number, i only renewed my contract 2 months ago so i now have to fork out 10 months money for nothing just to get a new number and i really dont see why i should have to go to these measure because of people who claim to be after NO STRINGS fun ive always seen myself as quite a tough person really and ive been swinging long enough to know the dos and donts and how it works but i have to be honest over the past few weeks its really starting to get me down I think ive kind of come to the dessision meeting men off here just isnt working for me anymore, i have met some really nice guys dont get me wrong but the amount of not nice and pushy guys ive been meeting just lately has made me feel im not taking any more chances, so i think sticking to clubs in future will be my best option, which does make me a little sad as i love club but have to admit i prefure more private and personal meets I havnt posted this in order to get help and advice as theres really nothing that can be done, ive looked at the problems and decided my best optinon is to stop exchanging phone numbers and stop arranging meets off here, i just really needed to blow of some stream see if it made me feel any better "nympho. i just want you to know i remember you from way back and your a stunning women. have no fear your liked by many including myself. send me a mail love and lets talk about this. xxxxxxxxx | |||
"There is a good reason why those single guys are single. " WELL !think that comment a little harsh , i am single .and love being single , FRANKIE XX | |||
"Naughty,reading your post is really upsetting and im really sorry that you have been treated so appallingly,its not as if you don't have a clue about the scene as you've been in it so long Those guys should be ashamed of themselves I too wonder if guys treat the women differently in couples purely because there is a man around as we hav'nt had anything like the problems you have dealt with this year and its no surprise you want to change how you play to clubs only If you can't change your number at the moment can your service provider block numbers for you? " i never had any problems as a couple, 9 years i met as a couple and never did we have any problems with single guys, i even met on my own as a couple but because guys i met knew i was married still everything was good I know most of my problems are down to the fact i meet a lot of people and of course the more you meet the more chances you have of having bad meets, but at the end of the day surely its upto me how many people i meet i think the guy who called me last night was just the final straw, i was ok till then, everything else was just one small problem that was over with, but i suppose after he called i felt so low about myself all the other small problem just kept going over in my head too, and probably made it feel worse than it was i'll be fine after a bottle of plonk
ive already sorted my number out, they sending me a new contract sim today | |||
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"There is a good reason why those single guys are single. WELL !think that comment a little harsh , i am single .and love being single , FRANKIE XX" Do you include yourself in with "those guys"??? | |||
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" I would hide your profile for a bit and take a break from it and just meet the people you already know. Hope that helps Holly " I dont think she need to hide her profile why give them that pleasure seeing what thay have done to her .. going to clubs meeting in groups untill she trust people maybe best way to meet .... its hard to trust people at times here. | |||
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"5th/6th couples profiles with different people I meant to say..." i know _iew x singles do this too x | |||
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"i think the guy who called me last night was just the final straw, i was ok till then" No one deserves to be abused be it verbally or physically, those who resort to such antics do so as a form of “control” which is generated through their own insecurity. You have the willpower within yourself Ali to remain in control  and tell those fvckers where to get off!! 
Don't allow them to control you, just tell them to go and sort out their own insecurities
xxx | |||
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"I am really glad I am not a single fem playing on here and happily as a couple we have not met any nutters......yet. " *waves* | |||
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"I am really glad I am not a single fem playing on here and happily as a couple we have not met any nutters......yet. *waves* "Exactly......we have never met you the nutter !!
I think I would definitly need a lie down if we met you !!  | |||
"I am really glad I am not a single fem playing on here and happily as a couple we have not met any nutters......yet. *waves*
I think I would definitly need a lie down if we met you !! "hahaha I think thats what the plan for the night would be of you did meet him | |||
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"The thing is us women are very trusting and when we give our numbers out we trust them not to abuse it, " not all women! no-one gets my number...I ask for theirs and call them whilst witholding my number. they get my number if, and only if, a great degree of trust has been established. as a single woman we are more vulnerable and do need to protect our needs more and be more wary...and man worthy realises and respects that...and respects a woman that realises that | |||
"Im having a bit of a rant, because to be quite honest im just feeling fed up and need to get it out my system The one biggest thing i have noticed swinging since i split from my partner is the difference in the ways men have treat me meeting me alone as apposed to meeting with my hubby, at times its been quite shocking over the past year i've had a guy hit me, a guy turn up to my house un announced, a guy who got my address from taxi firm i used and turn up at my home, guys i have met being abusive/pushy with me on here and in life cause i havnt wanted to meet them again or play with them on first meets, had one guy lock me in his hotel room when i wanted to leave, i had one guy call me up yesterday and was just so nasty to me, i had met him quite a few times, he seemed a decent guy so met him regular, then the last time i met i decided, for reasons i wont go into, i didnt want to meet him again, when i told him this he didnt take it well he kept messaging me on here so i blocked him so he called me up, told me i needed putting in my place and that i wasnt anything special that i was just a sad fat old woman and he could do better than me and the only reason he met me was cause i was bether than nothing and because i was ugly was easy to meet, its easy to say dont let it bother you but it does bother me because i was never rude to him and its not nice to just be seen as a fat shag thats better than a wank, and now im wondering how many other guys message me because thats how they see me, despite having mail like that from guys on here ive turned down before it really hurt coming from someone i knew and have played with regular, then on top of that another guy i have met a few times keeps mailing me and texting me all the time asking whats up with me and why havnt i been in touch with him, had he upset me in some way? why havnt i met him again etc i had both of them calling and texting at same time, its swingers site ffs i should have to justify why i havnt called someone or met them again should i? My biggest problem is ive been swinging now for about 10 years and untill last year always as a couple with my husband, we met single guys as a couple and never ever in all the time we played together did i get any of this abuse yet since ive been meeting alone it just seems to be getting more and more regular, mostly guys just pestering me over and over for re meets, i really have got to the point i cant cope with it, do men just see single females as a easy target? are we seen as someone that you dont have to be respectful to because we have no man to 'look after us', i have had to call up my phone provider this morning to try and get my mobile number changed because im just sick of the text and calls but they said because its on contract i will have to pay up to the end of my contract and start a new one to get a new number, i only renewed my contract 2 months ago so i now have to fork out 10 months money for nothing just to get a new number and i really dont see why i should have to go to these measure because of people who claim to be after NO STRINGS fun ive always seen myself as quite a tough person really and ive been swinging long enough to know the dos and donts and how it works but i have to be honest over the past few weeks its really starting to get me down I think ive kind of come to the dessision meeting men off here just isnt working for me anymore, i have met some really nice guys dont get me wrong but the amount of not nice and pushy guys ive been meeting just lately has made me feel im not taking any more chances, so i think sticking to clubs in future will be my best option, which does make me a little sad as i love club but have to admit i prefure more private and personal meets I havnt posted this in order to get help and advice as theres really nothing that can be done, ive looked at the problems and decided my best optinon is to stop exchanging phone numbers and stop arranging meets off here, i just really needed to blow of some stream see if it made me feel any better "Well me dear, your ex would have flattened them now wouldnt he. Glad you feel better for getting out of ya system . Oh and .......... you AINT fat... Your kin gorgeous and thats official. so ner ner | |||
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"Im having a bit of a rant, because to be quite honest im just feeling fed up and need to get it out my system The one biggest thing i have noticed swinging since i split from my partner is the difference in the ways men have treat me meeting me alone as apposed to meeting with my hubby, at times its been quite shocking over the past year i've had a guy hit me, a guy turn up to my house un announced, a guy who got my address from taxi firm i used and turn up at my home, guys i have met being abusive/pushy with me on here and in life cause i havnt wanted to meet them again or play with them on first meets, had one guy lock me in his hotel room when i wanted to leave, i had one guy call me up yesterday and was just so nasty to me, i had met him quite a few times, he seemed a decent guy so met him regular, then the last time i met i decided, for reasons i wont go into, i didnt want to meet him again, when i told him this he didnt take it well he kept messaging me on here so i blocked him so he called me up, told me i needed putting in my place and that i wasnt anything special that i was just a sad fat old woman and he could do better than me and the only reason he met me was cause i was bether than nothing and because i was ugly was easy to meet, its easy to say dont let it bother you but it does bother me because i was never rude to him and its not nice to just be seen as a fat shag thats better than a wank, and now im wondering how many other guys message me because thats how they see me, despite having mail like that from guys on here ive turned down before it really hurt coming from someone i knew and have played with regular, then on top of that another guy i have met a few times keeps mailing me and texting me all the time asking whats up with me and why havnt i been in touch with him, had he upset me in some way? why havnt i met him again etc i had both of them calling and texting at same time, its swingers site ffs i should have to justify why i havnt called someone or met them again should i? My biggest problem is ive been swinging now for about 10 years and untill last year always as a couple with my husband, we met single guys as a couple and never ever in all the time we played together did i get any of this abuse yet since ive been meeting alone it just seems to be getting more and more regular, mostly guys just pestering me over and over for re meets, i really have got to the point i cant cope with it, do men just see single females as a easy target? are we seen as someone that you dont have to be respectful to because we have no man to 'look after us', i have had to call up my phone provider this morning to try and get my mobile number changed because im just sick of the text and calls but they said because its on contract i will have to pay up to the end of my contract and start a new one to get a new number, i only renewed my contract 2 months ago so i now have to fork out 10 months money for nothing just to get a new number and i really dont see why i should have to go to these measure because of people who claim to be after NO STRINGS fun ive always seen myself as quite a tough person really and ive been swinging long enough to know the dos and donts and how it works but i have to be honest over the past few weeks its really starting to get me down I think ive kind of come to the dessision meeting men off here just isnt working for me anymore, i have met some really nice guys dont get me wrong but the amount of not nice and pushy guys ive been meeting just lately has made me feel im not taking any more chances, so i think sticking to clubs in future will be my best option, which does make me a little sad as i love club but have to admit i prefure more private and personal meets I havnt posted this in order to get help and advice as theres really nothing that can be done, ive looked at the problems and decided my best optinon is to stop exchanging phone numbers and stop arranging meets off here, i just really needed to blow of some stream see if it made me feel any better "I hope all the single guys who moan they dont get to meet anyone or the ones who moan about timewasters read this post because for me it says it all. A tiny percentage can spoil the reputation of such a large percentage of the good guys. Sorry you have been disrespected so much by some dickhead guys on here and I agree 100% your not fat your gorgeous. I would like to hope you manage to put this to the side and carry enjoying some good sexy fun with the good guys that are on here as well. hugs n kisses Rex xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx | |||
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"i just though id add my latest update The guy who called me up last night has called me back this afternoon to apologise for the way he spoke to me, and asked if he could take me out as a way of an opology lol Just to reply to what someone said earlier in the thread, this isnt a single guy bashing thread, i dont dislike single guys, i only meet single guys and i always defend single men in genral when people moan about then, this was just a moan about the few individuals, well if im going to be honest just the one, that had upset me, i do think i had hit a bad patch because as i have said in all the years of swinging i have never had any problems at all, then in the past few weeks i just seem to have met every odd ball on the site, sitting down and thinking about it i think its because i have just got far to relaxed about who i was meeting, because i went so many years with no problems maybe i got to trusting and didnt spend enough time getting to know people, but thats just the way i was, if i have a kid free night i want a meet that night, not in 4 weeks after i have got to know someone, and i guess looking back thats my problem, meeting guys after only talking for a hour, maybe thats something i need to address i just find the meet now option ideal for if i have got rid of the kids short notice, sometimes i cant plan meets in advance cause i dont always know week to week what nights im kid free But things do seem better in a new light lol and thanks to all my friends that have mailed me "Nice to see you are positive about single guys after your bad experiences lately . A couple of good meets later and this time will pass and be forgotten. Just be completely sure you let any potential meets know your rules before you meet them . | |||
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" .... Not one of my playmates has ever lost leave of their senses and turned up on my doorstep: NEVER. No man has ever raised his hand to me, raised his voice...not happened, so I do find it strange that you've experienced so many awful men!!! ...." I don't... because you are looking for subs... they'd be an odd sub if they got all ego-filled alfa on your ass wouldn't they. | |||
"Naughty, I am so very sorry that you have been treated badly and there are people who have little consideration for others. Sadly it reflects life... I sincerely hope it improves for you and you meet great people in the future. and the following has no reflection on you what so ever: there are people who will treat others like disposable items, with scant regard for feelings ...... they are out for what they can get. Be that money, luxury items, jobs done in the house, dinner, clothes all in exchange for sex... it is borderline/ fully fledged escorting. I am often ashamed at the behaviours of some of the daft single guys, but equally agog at the behaviours of some of the single females. They will wind guys up, tease them, ask them to contact them and then rant in updates when they do so. Over the years, I have seen so many couple profiles created and 'love declared' almost daily and then weeks later, it goes tits up and more rants and rants.. ( some are on their 5th/6th couples profiles ). Some should be/are on Escorting sites and there is nothing wrong with that at all, however, when the lines between swinging and escorting gets blurred.. it has a detrimental impact on OTHERS. So as with, some single guys giving the good single guys a bad name... some single females give other single females equally a bad name. and again Naughty, my comments have no reflection on you at all....... just putting a different side " I love you sometimes. And I needed to repeat this bit... "So as with, some single guys giving the good single guys a bad name... some single females give other single females equally a bad name." Too fucking right! It is one thing to accept we all do things our own way... but this "let's make swinging an all encompassing acceptance of anything remotely related to sex" bollox which keeps cropping up all in the name of being open-minded and non-judgemental ... it's no fecking wonder the united league of dickheads want to put their feet up here. Personally I am getting pretty hacked off (can you tell) with the open arms tolerance policy which welcomes bunny boilers, married cheats, cash free hookers and anyone else you care to mention… just because it’s a “sex site”. The term ‘swinging scene’ has become so diluted, it’s no wonder so many people have lost the message about mutual pleasure and ‘respect’. And even though I have often given this advice myself … that being “Change the way you select”… it is usually as a result of people having no joy in setting things up in the first place. But this thread has got me thinking.… and one of those thoughts was how I wanted to give that same advice, but how wrong it felt to do so. The short and tall of it… the op shouldn’t have to change the style of meets she enjoys and which suit her family commitments…. the OP hasn’t done anything wrong! It use to be the easiest thing in the world to do... now it isn't. Frequently people will explain what they feel they need to do to avoid planks, stalkers and general weirdos... hooking up sometimes sounds more like an episode of Total Wipeout. I have to ask myself what has changed to make things so different to how it was just a few years back. | |||
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" The short and tall of it… the op shouldn’t have to change the style of meets she enjoys and which suit her family commitments…. the OP hasn’t done anything wrong! " you're right...she shouldn't have to. But society evolves, even this one and see when my daughter is old enough to go out drinking and dating....although I would love to say to her, "hey. it's up to you if you protect yourself, get a number, walk home alone at two in the morning or whatever...., because you have a right to be safe"....hell, i won't be saying that! I have children too and sometimes I do get time to myself because the meets I cultivate aren't available. It's the price I pay for being extremely cautious...I would rather know I was safe and go home to my children after. it's not the op's fault, it's not the fault of the single men on here that aren't arseholes...but we are all responsible for our own actions | |||
"Talking as a complete novice to this scene , I would be interested to know what has changed in the past few years ? " Maybe I should post the question on a different thread , and let this thread remain as the OP intended it to be. | |||
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" The OP certainly shouldnt have to change the way she meets or deals with her swinging, it is solely her choice. I wish there was something in place to protect single women though - I dont know what. If there was a reporting system for guys who were violent, but it would be open to abuse from women who bear grudges. It is a sad fact that the deviants, rapists, women beaters and sadistic bastards will be drawn to any site where sex is on offer. " i think the op herself has realised that her methods of meeting people was proving a risk to great to continue taking. if it is that you are meeting men that are violent and abusive, then damn right you need to change how you meet them..you cant keep assuming he's going to be the last bad apple. i met a chap the other day and ahead of the meet i had phone number, address and licence plate number and he knew i was going to be passing it on to a friend. i don't think there is anything you do that can be too over cautious...in fact, you ought to be overly cautious | |||
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"I love you sometimes. And I needed to repeat this bit... "So as with, some single guys giving the good single guys a bad name... some single females give other single females equally a bad name." Too fucking right! It is one thing to accept we all do things our own way... but this "let's make swinging an all encompassing acceptance of anything remotely related to sex" bollox which keeps cropping up all in the name of being open-minded and non-judgemental ... it's no fecking wonder the united league of dickheads want to put their feet up here. Personally I am getting pretty hacked off (can you tell) with the open arms tolerance policy which welcomes bunny boilers, married cheats, cash free hookers and anyone else you care to mention… just because it’s a “sex site”. The term ‘swinging scene’ has become so diluted, it’s no wonder so many people have lost the message about mutual pleasure and ‘respect’. And even though I have often given this advice myself … that being “Change the way you select”… it is usually as a result of people having no joy in setting things up in the first place. But this thread has got me thinking.… and one of those thoughts was how I wanted to give that same advice, but how wrong it felt to do so. The short and tall of it… the op shouldn’t have to change the style of meets she enjoys and which suit her family commitments…. the OP hasn’t done anything wrong! It use to be the easiest thing in the world to do... now it isn't. Frequently people will explain what they feel they need to do to avoid planks, stalkers and general weirdos... hooking up sometimes sounds more like an episode of Total Wipeout. I have to ask myself what has changed to make things so different to how it was just a few years back. " Never a truer word spoken
I’ve seen people on other adult forums asking for site recommendations for people married and cheating and Fab got recommended more then a few times.
Same for escorting sites, Fab again mentioned.
The worst thing about it all is we cannot deny it or defend the site as it's actually true.
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"If you need escorting at any time, let me know, we'll happily meet you..... but..... don't let the twats grind you down, that way they win. And you my girl are worth 100x what they are!" Ditto. Let me know if you want me to come and act as security - I'll kick the shite out of anyone who treats you like that again if you want | |||
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"Im having a bit of a rant, because to be quite honest im just feeling fed up and need to get it out my system The one biggest thing i have noticed swinging since i split from my partner is the difference in the ways men have treat me meeting me alone as apposed to meeting with my hubby, at times its been quite shocking over the past year i've had a guy hit me, a guy turn up to my house un announced, a guy who got my address from taxi firm i used and turn up at my home, guys i have met being abusive/pushy with me on here and in life cause i havnt wanted to meet them again or play with them on first meets, had one guy lock me in his hotel room when i wanted to leave, i had one guy call me up yesterday and was just so nasty to me, i had met him quite a few times, he seemed a decent guy so met him regular, then the last time i met i decided, for reasons i wont go into, i didnt want to meet him again, when i told him this he didnt take it well he kept messaging me on here so i blocked him so he called me up, told me i needed putting in my place and that i wasnt anything special that i was just a sad fat old woman and he could do better than me and the only reason he met me was cause i was bether than nothing and because i was ugly was easy to meet, its easy to say dont let it bother you but it does bother me because i was never rude to him and its not nice to just be seen as a fat shag thats better than a wank, and now im wondering how many other guys message me because thats how they see me, despite having mail like that from guys on here ive turned down before it really hurt coming from someone i knew and have played with regular, then on top of that another guy i have met a few times keeps mailing me and texting me all the time asking whats up with me and why havnt i been in touch with him, had he upset me in some way? why havnt i met him again etc i had both of them calling and texting at same time, its swingers site ffs i should have to justify why i havnt called someone or met them again should i? My biggest problem is ive been swinging now for about 10 years and untill last year always as a couple with my husband, we met single guys as a couple and never ever in all the time we played together did i get any of this abuse yet since ive been meeting alone it just seems to be getting more and more regular, mostly guys just pestering me over and over for re meets, i really have got to the point i cant cope with it, do men just see single females as a easy target? are we seen as someone that you dont have to be respectful to because we have no man to 'look after us', i have had to call up my phone provider this morning to try and get my mobile number changed because im just sick of the text and calls but they said because its on contract i will have to pay up to the end of my contract and start a new one to get a new number, i only renewed my contract 2 months ago so i now have to fork out 10 months money for nothing just to get a new number and i really dont see why i should have to go to these measure because of people who claim to be after NO STRINGS fun ive always seen myself as quite a tough person really and ive been swinging long enough to know the dos and donts and how it works but i have to be honest over the past few weeks its really starting to get me down I think ive kind of come to the dessision meeting men off here just isnt working for me anymore, i have met some really nice guys dont get me wrong but the amount of not nice and pushy guys ive been meeting just lately has made me feel im not taking any more chances, so i think sticking to clubs in future will be my best option, which does make me a little sad as i love club but have to admit i prefure more private and personal meets I havnt posted this in order to get help and advice as theres really nothing that can be done, ive looked at the problems and decided my best optinon is to stop exchanging phone numbers and stop arranging meets off here, i just really needed to blow of some stream see if it made me feel any better
nympho.
i just want you to know i remember you from way back and your a stunning women.
have no fear your liked by many including myself.
send me a mail love and lets talk about this.
xxxxxxxxx "All I will say is..... I hope you feel a lot better, after reading the lovely replies and for being honest and open, about some right horrid bastards!!! I will also add, maybe take up pariders offer and that way you can stare at his lovely chest take a load off for a while 
Heres to a brighter, happier and pepper sprayed 2011 xx  | |||
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Just wanted to add that I was saddened to read what you've been through but relieved to see you're feeling more positive about the whole thing now. That's not to say that you weren't entitled to feel the way you did. I'm amazed you were as calm and rational as you were - If I were in your shoes, I'd have gone absolutely batshit mental.
Hopefully the replies in this thread have reassured you that you're a well-loved and very popular member of this site, and that many people do care about you.
Here's hoping you can find a solution that works for you and where you don't run into any freaks and weirdos.
All the best, and take care. | |||
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