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By *olyman OP Man
over a year ago
south london |
just wondered what users of this site think of the concept of polyamory (poly=many, amor=love) and whether they would consider themselves to be in anyway such.
While PA has always been considered different from swinging, there seems to be many cross over areas...
In particular I'm interested in those users involved in what on the surface (i.e. to their family and friends) may appear to be a conventional marraige (i.e monogomous).
for example i've seen several profiles which state that one or both of the partners in a couple also have a regular FB, this seems to me to be a PA set-up...??
for those unclear about the concept of PA, the following link may be useful...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I perceieve polyamory to mean being in love with more than one person. I know that this happens, but in swinging, if someone is married and also has a fuck buddy, they may be in love with their husband/wife but not with their fb, that's just someone to have regular sex with isn't it? |
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By *olyman OP Man
over a year ago
south london |
"I perceieve polyamory to mean being in love with more than one person. I know that this happens, but in swinging, if someone is married and also has a fuck buddy, they may be in love with their husband/wife but not with their fb, that's just someone to have regular sex with isn't it?"
The definition given on wikipedia is:
"Polyamory (from Greek p??? [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [literally “love”]) is the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. The term polyamory is sometimes abbreviated to poly, and is sometimes described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy. The word is sometimes used more broadly to refer to any sexual or romantic relationships that are not sexually exclusive, though there is disagreement on how broadly it applies.
Polyamory can refer to the practice or status of a relationship at a given time, or used as a description of a lifestyle, philosophy or relationship orientation (much like gender orientation), rather than of an individual's actual relationship status at a given moment. It is an umbrella term that covers many orientations and modes of relationship. There is fluidity in its definition to accommodate the different shades of meaning which might be covered. Polyamorous relationships are themselves varied, reflecting the choices and philosophies of the individuals concerned."
By this definition I guess it would depend on whether the relation ship with the FB could be considered a "loving and intimate" one.
In general I believe polyamory tries to transcend the traditional concept of being "in love", which in my oppinion has always been ill defined and understood at best... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I perceieve polyamory to mean being in love with more than one person. I know that this happens, but in swinging, if someone is married and also has a fuck buddy, they may be in love with their husband/wife but not with their fb, that's just someone to have regular sex with isn't it?
The definition given on wikipedia is:
"Polyamory (from Greek p??? [poly, meaning many or several] and Latin amor [literally “love”]) is the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. The term polyamory is sometimes abbreviated to poly, and is sometimes described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy. The word is sometimes used more broadly to refer to any sexual or romantic relationships that are not sexually exclusive, though there is disagreement on how broadly it applies.
Polyamory can refer to the practice or status of a relationship at a given time, or used as a description of a lifestyle, philosophy or relationship orientation (much like gender orientation), rather than of an individual's actual relationship status at a given moment. It is an umbrella term that covers many orientations and modes of relationship. There is fluidity in its definition to accommodate the different shades of meaning which might be covered. Polyamorous relationships are themselves varied, reflecting the choices and philosophies of the individuals concerned."
By this definition I guess it would depend on whether the relation ship with the FB could be considered a "loving and intimate" one.
In general I believe polyamory tries to transcend the traditional concept of being "in love", which in my oppinion has always been ill defined and understood at best..."
now that we have cleared that up....or rather you have yourself......what bit of your thoughts shall i agree on....lmao |
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By *ichNjudyCouple
over a year ago
stoke on trent |
We wouldn't consider ourselves as polyamorous, in fact just the opposite we think of ourselves as 'emotionally monogamous' and feel it is the ability to separate love from sex that allows us to be successful as swingers while maintaining our own relationship.
So we'd say most swingers would not consider themselves polyamorous as they are concentrating on the physical act of sex rather than on emotional aspects when they play with other partners. In fact the widespread use of the term 'playing' itself supports that idea.
No doubt some swingers are in a polyamorous relationship, we have known one 'couple' who actually live together as an FFM threesum with another fem (the fems were both bi) and also met two swinging couples who lived together as a foursome in one house.
Maybe these exceptions were practicing some form of polyamory, we never really asked though and just enjoyed the fun on offer instead lol
xxx
Ju & Rich |
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By *ohjaneCouple
over a year ago
south staffs |
Hi Polyman
I have never thought to put a(nother) label on myself, but I do believe that I fit the polyamorous type.
I have to really like a man before I can have sex with him, and I turn cold if I don't feel a similar emotion coming back at me. I cannot do the "mechanical" sex just for the sensations.
It has happened several times that I have fallen in love with a lover - and the lover feels the same - and the feeling is euphoric. I am like a love-struck teen, and if I am lucky the association lasts a while.
The difference between the "in love" feeling and the love I feel for my husband of 30 years is crystal clear to me - indeed to all 3 of us, and my husband has never felt threatened by it. he is a confident, secure and well balanced individual without the need to shout about and assert his masculinity, it is just there. For us it works very well. Each to their own - as usual.
Hugs
Jane x |
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just a thought isnt any single person who swings poly whatsit ...Ill have singles or 2 ,3 ,4 at a time ,,,its the natural way and is only an issue when constrained and bumping up against the marriage contract
viva la difference i say ....i dont know why ..but it felt strangely apt...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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well yes, i also think that it is possible to be all that. i have a husband of 21 years and then my partner patrick from this site who am totally head over heels in love with. love flows easier when less constraints as you say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love polamory, they are a lovely plant, giving a rich flourish of colour from late spring to late summer.
Keep on top of them during the flowering season, nipping out dead heads and leaves (This will promote growth and maintain the plant all season)
In the autumn, wait until all foliage is dead then split the plant with a spade and transplant to a place in the garden with medium soil (not too acidic) and in the early spring new shoots will appear |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dam didnt bring my gardening gloves for this thought it was greek history ?? lol "
Well you wern't too far out - the Polamory plant originated in ancient Greece and was brought to the uk by the Greek fella that runs our local fish and chip shop |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I thought Polyamory was a kids TV series?
It was a kids tv series - dedicated to the art of cultivating the polyamory plant "
oh! so thats the story in polyamory...I did wonder. |
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By *olyman OP Man
over a year ago
south london |
"I love the way you have pixelated your willy on one photo.
As you profile mentions you have a few a few partners and maybe they will recognise it "
All pixelation in my photo's has nothing to do with my partners recognising me.. as they all know I'm on here... However my proffession puts me in the "public domain" so to speak and it's more a concern of our unscrupulous media getting a hold of it and creating some nonsense from it...
the pic in question came from using a site that had restrictions on what you could show....
Haven't checked your profile (yet...) but notice your main pic doesn't show your face (just some very cute abs...) Does that MEAN SOMETHING..??
BUT... on the question of polyamory... any thoughts???
Poly |
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By *olyman OP Man
over a year ago
south london |
With regards the kds TV thing... wouldn't know myself.... BUT perhaps it's yet another example of british TV / media's long tradition of attempting to sexualise the minds of our younger population... a la captain pugwash, master bates... etc.
Poly |
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By *olyman OP Man
over a year ago
south london |
"With regards the kds TV thing... wouldn't know myself.... BUT perhaps it's yet another example of british TV / media's long tradition of attempting to sexualise the minds of our younger population... a la captain pugwash, master bates... etc.
Poly"
Oh and not to forget, Roger the cabin boy.... |
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By *olyman OP Man
over a year ago
south london |
"
now that we have cleared that up....or rather you have yourself......what bit of your thoughts shall i agree on....lmao"
Not looking for agreement, just THOUGHTS and/or OPINIONS... if you have any that is...???
laugh away... be my guest... |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"
now that we have cleared that up....or rather you have yourself......what bit of your thoughts shall i agree on....lmao
Not looking for agreement, just THOUGHTS and/or OPINIONS... if you have any that is...???
laugh away... be my guest..."
Me thinks you just want your ego stroking.
I have a thought and an opinion on this, but I have no intention of getting myself banned for arguing the toss with such an egotist. |
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By *olyman OP Man
over a year ago
south london |
"
now that we have cleared that up....or rather you have yourself......what bit of your thoughts shall i agree on....lmao
Not looking for agreement, just THOUGHTS and/or OPINIONS... if you have any that is...???
laugh away... be my guest...
Me thinks you just want your ego stroking.
I have a thought and an opinion on this, but I have no intention of getting myself banned for arguing the toss with such an egotist."
I'm not looking for an argument... I've made my life choices (as have you) and am prepared to stand by them in the face of anything...
This forum post is meant as a genuine enquiry into a SERIOUS subject... primarily because I percieve swingers and the polyamorous amongst us to share a belief in / desire for non-monogamy.
With us all living in a society that still largely promotes hetero-sexual monogamy and derides or belittles any other alternative... I simply thought I might gain some interesting discourse from this particular community... and there have been a tiny handful of interesting responses... thank you to those.
and to you Madchick... what exactly is it you are so MAD about...??? |
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