FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > my wife does full swap i only do soft why do other couples have a problem with this
my wife does full swap i only do soft why do other couples have a problem with this
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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so many couples have not understood the she can fully swap but i choose to only soft swap , why is this a problem surley we have the right to swing the way that works for us ? |
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By *eeandGeeMan
over a year ago
littlehampton |
Of course you have that right - if you can find those with similar tastes - as in every other aspect of swinging - but in our case for instance, G likes to fuck - lots - so we wouldnt really be compatable |
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The problem is people have a preconcieved idea as to what is "normal behaviour" for a couple that swings and if you deviate from that alarms start ringing and people think you are pretending to be somone/something you are not.
The pressure is then on you to "prove" yourself.
We have a similar problem. My wife does not like to be involved with the early stages of getting to know someone. She would rather they chatted with me first then after a bit she joins in.
I have got the impression from certain people that is interpreted as either a) I'm a single male pretending, b) shes being forced to do something she doesn't want to do or c) we are timewasters who do not plan to meet.
This is further enforced by the fact that she is not interested in any meets that invole other men in any way at all - which I guess would seem to push option b a bit more!
The truth is, we just want to meet the right people and are prepared to wait until they come along! Photo verification (when we get round to it) will help rule option a) out at least!
What I am trying to say in a roundabout way is you have to do what is right for you, but if it seems to others to be a little unusal you also have to accept that it will be harder for you to find people who will meet up with you.
Its just one of those things.
Have fun. |
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i think some people come into this scene expecting everyone to go head long into the swapping thing full on, no holds barred,which is wrong.
everyone has their own limits,but some people unfortunately don't respect that fact.myself and brenda do full swap if we find the right couple,but that is a joint decision,sometimes if things dont feel right ect we will only soft swing.
but we make the decision no one will force us.we would sooner walk away with a thanks but no thanks. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
Because, at the end of the day, unless you are doing single men..... whats in it for the other woman?
She gets bi play if your missus does that and probably not alot else.
To be honest, you must swing as YOU want to swing, but a massive amount of couples wouldn't want to bother with you because they would see it as a very odd swingdate.
i.e. I'm Bi but only playfully so. Jase is straight. If we met you, then your missus would get you and my hubby and I'd get whats left of my hubby. Which in my view would be no better than meeting those couples where the man can't get it up, or only has a 2" penis.
Each to their own, but as long as you are perfectly clear about how you swing, no one should be shocked or put off by your rules when you meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's nowt as strange as us swinging folk....thats for sure!!!
To be honest though, i think you will find that for the vast majority of couples on this site and all other sites, all it takes is one slight "issue" with another couples profile and they move on to the next. I know we do, we've come across loads of potential victims whilst "researching" but then you read one small item and suddenly things change and they are scratched off the list for good.
Take the other day for instance, on another site we briefly read this couples profile and checked out the pics, all looked good until we read the profile properly and it turned out that this "couple" were actually having an affair and swinging behind their proper partners backs (this is another issue altogether). Straight away we moved on to the next and didnt look back.
Our thoughts are if you're not 99.9% of what what a couple are looking for in their ideal swinging partners then you're gonna be ditched straight away....
Dont get disheartened though, there's bound to be plenty of couples out there who fit your bill!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hi,
you are entitled to play in which ever way you choose.....we have the same problem at times....but peeps either take us or leave us...its steel that full swops and myself that soft swops on most occasions. Continue having fun and don,t let it bother you xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are quite similar to you, as in i am encouraged to play with females, but my wife will only play with females, she has no interest at all in other men. we tried it, and she didnt enjoy it, and she thinks it took away from the fun she enjoys with girls and seeing me play too.
we dont have any problems from it though, we state quite clearly on our profile what our limits are and as yet, no one has had a go at us or anything.
I see no problems with anyone's limits at all, we all have them, and everyone's should be equally respected, if you cant respect ours, then frankly, your not the people we would enjoy spending time with anyway.
there is no right or wrong way to swinging, simply variations based on individuals wishes and desires.
it may mean that you have less choice than others, and your contacted less than some, but quality over quantity as they say.
who knows in a year or whatever, how much our own limits may change, so it would be wrong to say that anyone elses limits are wrong, as they could soon be our new limits.
this way of life (for us anyway) is about FUN and being open and enjoying things, a lot of people in the vanilla world feel wrong, it has to be fun for all concerned though, so just be open and honest with everyone and you should have no problems |
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As long as you are honest about what you are looking for from the start, I don't see why there should be a problem. Obviously, your preferences won't be to everyone's tastes but I am sure there are people out there that will have no problem with. If people expect you to conform to their idea of normal then they aren't who you'd want to meet anyway. |
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By *yclopMan
over a year ago
belfast |
You may not really think of this as a trust or jealousy issue, you may just be doing what you are happy with (and what each of you knows the other is happy with, which is more important). Jealousy and trust are not equal opportunity emotions. It is far more important that you do not either of you step over the line that you know the other is comfortable with. To hell with what other people think, your personal relationship and the care you take to preserve it is much more important. And remember you are not alone in this, there are lots of couples where each party take this degree of care to to ensure the other still feels secure. |
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