FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is it just us.....??
Is it just us.....??
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We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!
We have had this on a couple of occassions now, in one example the lady actually ran out of the pub crying after hitting her fella... not quite the night we had in mind and made especially awkward as we were staying at theirs!
As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?
This is supposed to be fun, we all go out with the excitement of knowing what may be around the corner and this kinda behaviour just puts a big downer on the evening, especially when you've spent all week looking forward to it... soooo frustrating!
So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....?? | |||
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"Good afternoon all, would just like to start by saying hello to all our fellow swingers out there... it maybe a small world but all you sexy peeps make it a very fun place to be..
We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!
We have had this on a couple of occassions now, in one example the lady actually ran out of the pub crying after hitting her fella... not quite the night we had in mind and made especially awkward as we were staying at theirs!
As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?
This is supposed to be fun, we all go out with the excitement of knowing what may be around the corner and this kinda behaviour just puts a big downer on the evening, especially when you've spent all week looking forward to it... soooo frustrating!
So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....??"If you've had it a couple of times, it must be something you're doing!! | |||
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"mmmm... not the answer we were hoping for! Then again when we think of the number of meets we have had the number of 'bad ones' is a small percentage... isnt this to be expected... life doesnt always go to plan does it?! " think you may have just answered your own question  | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol "I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!  | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol
I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!
"you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently | |||
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"Once met a couple and went to a hotel room. She was a little full on with my fella all night & looking back I should've called time on it before we all got naked. However, they went straight into a straight swap rather than us all playing together (which was our preferance) but when it came time for my bloke to 'do' her she threw the condom across the room and told him to fetch. If anyone has ever come across my ex, 'S' (he is on here too) they will know that he does not fetch for anyone lol They ended up arguing! So her fella climbed off me, rolled his eyes, made his apologies and they left, her shouting a few choice words at me, still laid starkers on the bed in complete shock! Horrible!" so have we got any more stories out there... maybe we could give a prize for the best.. how about a horny night to make up?? lol | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol
I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!
you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently"But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on. | |||
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"Maybe its just the added tention when some couples play just the smallest thing sets them off ?" Or maybe having a small thing sets them off? | |||
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"Good afternoon all, would just like to start by saying hello to all our fellow swingers out there... it maybe a small world but all you sexy peeps make it a very fun place to be..
We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!
We have had this on a couple of occassions now, in one example the lady actually ran out of the pub crying after hitting her fella... not quite the night we had in mind and made especially awkward as we were staying at theirs!
As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?
This is supposed to be fun, we all go out with the excitement of knowing what may be around the corner and this kinda behaviour just puts a big downer on the evening, especially when you've spent all week looking forward to it... soooo frustrating!
So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....??"quite a few times yes, mainly when i used to meet couples with my ex, i only meet single guys now so dont really get it no more as they have anyone to fall out with lol I remember we met this couple once and her fella went nuts because my hubby made her cum, she wasnt allowed to cum in swinging it was one of their rules i know go figure that one lol
Met a few couple where the guy had been very uncomfy at seeing his wife playing and asked for her back mid play
Oh we met a couple once and the comdon split on my hubby and the woman and the guy went nuts, got really violent towards my husband, i know its something you dont want to happen but accidents do happen ffs and whys it the guys fault? they was both shagging and using the condom, but i didnt jump up and attack his mrs
Im very uncomfy round couples in swinging i just dont meet them now im not a couple | |||
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"Good afternoon all, would just like to start by saying hello to all our fellow swingers out there... it maybe a small world but all you sexy peeps make it a very fun place to be..
We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!
We have had this on a couple of occassions now, in one example the lady actually ran out of the pub crying after hitting her fella... not quite the night we had in mind and made especially awkward as we were staying at theirs!
As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?
This is supposed to be fun, we all go out with the excitement of knowing what may be around the corner and this kinda behaviour just puts a big downer on the evening, especially when you've spent all week looking forward to it... soooo frustrating!
So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....??
quite a few times yes, mainly when i used to meet couples with my ex, i only meet single guys now so dont really get it no more as they have anyone to fall out with lol
I remember we met this couple once and her fella went nuts because my hubby made her cum, she wasnt allowed to cum in swinging it was one of their rules i know go figure that one lol
Met a few couple where the guy had been very uncomfy at seeing his wife playing and asked for her back mid play
Oh we met a couple once and the comdon split on my hubby and the woman and the guy went nuts, got really violent towards my husband, i know its something you dont want to happen but accidents do happen ffs and whys it the guys fault? they was both shagging and using the condom, but i didnt jump up and attack his mrs
Im very uncomfy round couples in swinging i just dont meet them now im not a couple" | |||
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"Good afternoon all, would just like to start by saying hello to all our fellow swingers out there... it maybe a small world but all you sexy peeps make it a very fun place to be..
We begin! Is it just us or have any other of you had meets spoilt by the other couple arguing?!
We have had this on a couple of occassions now, in one example the lady actually ran out of the pub crying after hitting her fella... not quite the night we had in mind and made especially awkward as we were staying at theirs!
As we mentioned before we have experienced this a couple of times now, is it a common occorance or 'is it just us' been unlucky? or maybe is it just the effects of one to many beers?
This is supposed to be fun, we all go out with the excitement of knowing what may be around the corner and this kinda behaviour just puts a big downer on the evening, especially when you've spent all week looking forward to it... soooo frustrating!
So has this happened to many of you guys, have you had any disaster meets which you would like to share with us all....??
quite a few times yes, mainly when i used to meet couples with my ex, i only meet single guys now so dont really get it no more as they have anyone to fall out with lol
I remember we met this couple once and her fella went nuts because my hubby made her cum, she wasnt allowed to cum in swinging it was one of their rules i know go figure that one lol
Met a few couple where the guy had been very uncomfy at seeing his wife playing and asked for her back mid play
Oh we met a couple once and the comdon split on my hubby and the woman and the guy went nuts, got really violent towards my husband, i know its something you dont want to happen but accidents do happen ffs and whys it the guys fault? they was both shagging and using the condom, but i didnt jump up and attack his mrs
Im very uncomfy round couples in swinging i just dont meet them now im not a couple"You don't say. | |||
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"Our worst meet was one of our first ones, quite a while before we joined Fab. Got friendly with a couple in a club over a period of time. They invited us over to theirs for a meal one evening. Arrived to find that they had invited another couple as well that we didn't know. Both of the other couples had kids, all of which were upstairs with a takeaway and a pile of videos which put us off playing right from the start. But we'd driven a long way and they'd spent a lot of time preparing the meal for all of us so we stayed, thinking there was no harm in being friendly and polite. The couple who had invited us over had some issues between themselves (won't say what on here) which we hadn't known previously but that were talked about over dinner. They'd decided to try swinging to see if that helped them sort their problems out, which, if we hadn't already decided on not playing because of the kids upstairs, would have been more than enough to set our alarm bells ringing anyway! Then it turned out the fella in the couple we hadn't met before was going through some "stuff" (again won't say what on here) and after a few drinks he started crying and threatening to kill himself. The kids heard the crying and came downstairs to find out what was wrong, his little girl was upset that her daddy was crying and when she started crying all the other kids started crying..... needless to say being the strangers in the house we made our excuses and left them all to it! It was a rather surreal evening all things considered!" So a good time was had by all | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol
I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!
you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently
But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.
"if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol
I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!
you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently
But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.
if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed"LMAO !! | |||
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"we have had a few horror stories in our time - 1. We met a couple without seeing face pictures - this was only because they had met a lovely couple we knew and played with - we arrived at the pub and thought they hadn't showed up - then a man with half a head and his wife came over and said they were our meet. He forgot to mention he had hit a horse at 70mph - he then tried passing photocopied £20 notes over the bar - we had an urgent appointment and left. 2. We met a couple that seemed really nice but maybe a bit hyper - found out she was a addict later - but they played in bed with us and then got up and left - when they came back they smelled like a urinal - again we had to make our excuses 3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters" The man really had half a head?? | |||
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"we have had a few horror stories in our time - 1. We met a couple without seeing face pictures - this was only because they had met a lovely couple we knew and played with - we arrived at the pub and thought they hadn't showed up - then a man with half a head and his wife came over and said they were our meet. He forgot to mention he had hit a horse at 70mph - he then tried passing photocopied £20 notes over the bar - we had an urgent appointment and left. 2. We met a couple that seemed really nice but maybe a bit hyper - found out she was a addict later - but they played in bed with us and then got up and left - when they came back they smelled like a urinal - again we had to make our excuses 3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters The man really had half a head?? "oh yes and the rest of it wasn't good either | |||
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"we have had a few horror stories in our time - 1. We met a couple without seeing face pictures - this was only because they had met a lovely couple we knew and played with - we arrived at the pub and thought they hadn't showed up - then a man with half a head and his wife came over and said they were our meet. He forgot to mention he had hit a horse at 70mph - he then tried passing photocopied £20 notes over the bar - we had an urgent appointment and left. 2. We met a couple that seemed really nice but maybe a bit hyper - found out she was a addict later - but they played in bed with us and then got up and left - when they came back they smelled like a urinal - again we had to make our excuses 3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters The man really had half a head??
oh yes and the rest of it wasn't good either"How bizarre!! Nice profile & pics btw if yor ever up our way | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol
I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!
you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently
But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.
if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed"Un-Noticed? It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me. | |||
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"we have had a few horror stories in our time - 1. We met a couple without seeing face pictures - this was only because they had met a lovely couple we knew and played with - we arrived at the pub and thought they hadn't showed up - then a man with half a head and his wife came over and said they were our meet. He forgot to mention he had hit a horse at 70mph - he then tried passing photocopied £20 notes over the bar - we had an urgent appointment and left. 2. We met a couple that seemed really nice but maybe a bit hyper - found out she was a addict later - but they played in bed with us and then got up and left - when they came back they smelled like a urinal - again we had to make our excuses 3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters The man really had half a head??
oh yes and the rest of it wasn't good either
How bizarre!!
Nice profile & pics btw if yor ever up our way "lol your pictures are lovely too - can we just ask to save a faux par - have you currently got all limbs and body parts - going to visit our friends in York is suddenly so much more appealing | |||
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"we have had a few horror stories in our time - 1. We met a couple without seeing face pictures - this was only because they had met a lovely couple we knew and played with - we arrived at the pub and thought they hadn't showed up - then a man with half a head and his wife came over and said they were our meet. He forgot to mention he had hit a horse at 70mph - he then tried passing photocopied £20 notes over the bar - we had an urgent appointment and left. 2. We met a couple that seemed really nice but maybe a bit hyper - found out she was a addict later - but they played in bed with us and then got up and left - when they came back they smelled like a urinal - again we had to make our excuses 3. Di met with her ex and he got so d*unk he ended up falling over in the fireplace and after kicking him they went off and used cream on him whilst her ex was asleep. Lol It's not just you but lets face it they are strangely fascinating and at least none of ours have involved violence - so consider ourselves luckier than some of the other posters The man really had half a head??
oh yes and the rest of it wasn't good either
How bizarre!!
Nice profile & pics btw if yor ever up our way
lol your pictures are lovely too - can we just ask to save a faux par - have you currently got all limbs and body parts - going to visit our friends in York is suddenly so much more appealing"yes, all limbs intact!! lol we'd be more than happy to show you the delights of York if you facied paying us a visit.. xx | |||
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"We have had good ones and bad ones.. But half a head.. Jesus... " lol no he didnt look like jesus - that would have been an improvment even if he did wear socks with the sandals | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol
I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!
you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently
But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.
if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed
Un-Noticed?
It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.
"it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species | |||
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" if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed Un-Noticed? It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me. it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species" to be continued ... | |||
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"I apologise for the Schadenfreude, but I love these threads. It makes me feel better about no-shows... " talking of which, where's yer piccy gone and why no silhouette? | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol
I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!
you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently
But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.
if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed
Un-Noticed?
It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.
it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species"Not surprising really, it wouldnt have seen a Homo-Grammaticus-Vocabulari before. | |||
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 never again | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol
I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!
you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently
But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.
if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed
Un-Noticed?
It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.
it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species
Not surprising really, it wouldnt have seen a Homo-Grammaticus-Vocabulari before.
"'it' hasn't been introduced to any kind of homo before; you were definitely the first. | |||
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"I guess we were really after some of your 'disaster meet' stories to make us feel better... lol
I met Dances Alone, it was a disaster, but i'm not allowed to tell you about it!
you really need to stop feeling bad about that, it happens to men all the time....apparently
But to be fair, had you mentioned your elephantitus of the clitorus before stripping, i may not have fainted from the horrendous nose bleed the shock brought on.
if you hadnt lied on your profile about your height and your eye-level had been higher than my clit, it would have gone un-noticed
Un-Noticed?
It had it's OWN tattoo, and it GROWLED at me.
it usually purrs, but it didn't recognise your species
Not surprising really, it wouldnt have seen a Homo-Grammaticus-Vocabulari before.
'it' hasn't been introduced to any kind of homo before; you were definitely the first."The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk." i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though." You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley." i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics... | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics..." Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before. | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics... Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before." i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised? credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics... Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before. i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised? credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio" To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing. Especially when it bared it's teeth at me. | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics... Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before. i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised? credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing. Especially when it bared it's teeth at me. " as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy. | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics... Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before. i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised? credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing. Especially when it bared it's teeth at me. as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy." I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible. | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics... Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before. i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised? credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing. Especially when it bared it's teeth at me. as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy. I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible." at least they weren't eaing rthrough the flesh...or was that an excuse to hide your embarassment? | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics... Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before. i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised? credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing. Especially when it bared it's teeth at me. as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy. I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible. at least they weren't eaing rthrough the flesh...or was that an excuse to hide your embarassment?" Hide it? As the entire Greenock Morton first team filed out, high-fiving me and saying "gaun yersel' wee man, yer up next"? | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics... Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before. i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised? credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing. Especially when it bared it's teeth at me. as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy. I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible. at least they weren't eaing rthrough the flesh...or was that an excuse to hide your embarassment? Hide it? As the entire Greenock Morton first team filed out, high-fiving me and saying "gaun yersel' wee man, yer up next"? " they either thought you were a contortionist or slackened you so much your colon prolapsed | |||
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" The first to not be wearing an old firm top, perhaps. But not "the first", by a long chalk. i guess it was hard for you to find an outfit that adequately hides your colostomy bag though. You ASKED me to dress as Peter Beardsley. i was playing to your strengths and going by the face pics... Strength? I'd never seen a regulation size football picked up by the labia before. i managed to pick you up relying solely on the power of the pussy, so why should you be suprised? credited, you have less intelligence than a football, but certainly the same air to vacant space ratio To be fair, if picking it up was impressive, making it disappear (like the scene from "Alien" where it lays an egg, played in reverse) was mind-blowing. Especially when it bared it's teeth at me. as they say, size is relative and, to be fair to you, it would need to be a gnats fanny to have the slightest chance of tickling someones fancy. I'm no entomologist, but those werent gnats on your fanny. They didnt look fancy, though i'll concede "ticklish" looked distinctly possible. at least they weren't eaing rthrough the flesh...or was that an excuse to hide your embarassment? Hide it? As the entire Greenock Morton first team filed out, high-fiving me and saying "gaun yersel' wee man, yer up next"? they either thought you were a contortionist or slackened you so much your colon prolapsed "Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) | |||
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"jeezeeeeeeeee, this is better than a soap opera, next instalment pls he he he , just wondering r u two friends really lol" we're married...can't you tell? | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night)" you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf" Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it? I'd never seen a Diesel one before. | |||
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"jeezeeeeeeeee, this is better than a soap opera, next instalment pls he he he , just wondering r u two friends really lol we're married...can't you tell?" arrrr, so not friends then, pmsl | |||
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"jeezeeeeeeeee, this is better than a soap opera, next instalment pls he he he , just wondering r u two friends really lol" NEVER marry your cousin. And you two are our next meat. And that's NOT a typo. | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it? I'd never seen a Diesel one before. " no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it? I'd never seen a Diesel one before. no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets" My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving. | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it? I'd never seen a Diesel one before. no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving." ever seen a bad verification? | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it? I'd never seen a Diesel one before. no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving. ever seen a bad verification?" Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you. Don't be shy. Darling. | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it? I'd never seen a Diesel one before. no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving. ever seen a bad verification? Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you. Don't be shy. Darling." it's like your cock, i cant find it, sweet delicious xx | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it? I'd never seen a Diesel one before. no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving. ever seen a bad verification? Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you. Don't be shy. Darling. it's like your cock, i cant find it, sweet delicious xx" My cock is indeed both sweet and delicious. But your the first girl i've met where i couldnt get it to touch EITHER side. | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it? I'd never seen a Diesel one before. no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving. ever seen a bad verification? Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you. Don't be shy. Darling. it's like your cock, i cant find it, sweet delicious xx My cock is indeed both sweet and delicious. But your the first girl i've met where i couldnt get it to touch EITHER side. " worthy of note is the fact your the only one to have tasted your cock | |||
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" Hardly! Say "prolapsed colon" to a Greenock Morton player and he thinks "czechoslovakian winger, season 77/78". (to be fair to you, they were well chuffed when they left, even the goalie scored that night) you dont think i was fucking you to please yo udid you? poor buggers were pleased to be shot of you. was a totally selfless act on my behalf Well there was certainly no pleasing you. Selfless act? Getting your Dildo out in front of me and just buzzing away with it? I'd never seen a Diesel one before. no, i can quite believe that, i had been advised that i might require an industrial generator from one of your more complimentary meets My sexual industry has oft generated compliments. As a time-served Joiner, many is the lady who has enjoyed my tongueing and grooving. ever seen a bad verification? Go to "My Account", click "manage Verifications" and show the world my veri of you. Don't be shy. Darling. it's like your cock, i cant find it, sweet delicious xx My cock is indeed both sweet and delicious. But your the first girl i've met where i couldnt get it to touch EITHER side. worthy of note is the fact your the only one to have tasted your cock" Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do? | |||
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" Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do?" tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess | |||
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" Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do? tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess" That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter. | |||
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" Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do? tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter." how cliche, being a pedant.....overemphasising the smallest of details | |||
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" Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do? tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter. how cliche, being a pedant.....overemphasising the smallest of details" Better a pedant than a pendant, hanging down and swinging about - and that was your labia MINOR. | |||
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"Wasn't there a thread somewhere around here? Anyone seen it lately? "And who's this guy Dances? ANOTHER one you "meant" to tell me about? Jesus. | |||
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" Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do? tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter. how cliche, being a pedant.....overemphasising the smallest of details Better a pedant than a pendant, hanging down and swinging about - and that was your labia MINOR." they were fine until i tried to get away from your painful if not laughable oral techniques that sent me flying up the other end of the county with you reluctant to let go | |||
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" Yeah, but when i get a semi, it tickles my chin. What do you expect me to do? tis the only benefit to being a pygmy i guess That and being able to hit the correct quote button. Though in your neighbourhood they probably think a quote is what you wear in the winter. how cliche, being a pedant.....overemphasising the smallest of details Better a pedant than a pendant, hanging down and swinging about - and that was your labia MINOR. they were fine until i tried to get away from your painful if not laughable oral techniques that sent me flying up the other end of the county with you reluctant to let go" How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. | |||
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" How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. " a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public. as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do! | |||
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" How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public. as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do!" At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time. I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck. | |||
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" How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public. as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do! At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time. I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck." your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter! | |||
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" How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public. as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do! At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time. I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck. your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter!" I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you. | |||
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" How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public. as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do! At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time. I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck. your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter! I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you." either way, you're the cause not the cure | |||
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" How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public. as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do! At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time. I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck. your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter! I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you. either way, you're the cause not the cure" Talking of cure, it was slightly disconcerting when, the morning after we'd been together, i went to the Doctor - he took one look at the swelling and the puss when i dropped my pants and then mentioned you by name. | |||
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"Really had to put the reading glasses on for this some routine! "i quite agree, he's never managed to get me this excited before. | |||
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" How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public. as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do! At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time. I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck. your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter! I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you. either way, you're the cause not the cure Talking of cure, it was slightly disconcerting when, the morning after we'd been together, i went to the Doctor - he took one look at the swelling and the puss when i dropped my pants and then mentioned you by name." he cant have had that short a memory, i was head of the queue that morning.... | |||
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" How was i to know my tongue stud would get caught in your chain-mail clit hood? Which was bad enough until my toe hit that bare live wire sticking out of the wall. a more considerate partner would buy women jewelry that can be worn and seen in public. as for the live wire....get in an electrician! it wasnt what i was there to do! At least the live wire meant you MOVED during sex this time. I would buy you Trinkets - but i won't walk in public with you wearing "BIATCH" in 4" gold letters round your neck. your sexual methods have the same effect of an excessive dose of melatonin...and just to clarify, no, i don't have narcolepsy, it is you and it does matter! I apologise. I was getting confused between narcolepsy and necrophillia. Easily done when with you. either way, you're the cause not the cure Talking of cure, it was slightly disconcerting when, the morning after we'd been together, i went to the Doctor - he took one look at the swelling and the puss when i dropped my pants and then mentioned you by name. he cant have had that short a memory, i was head of the queue that morning...." And indeed most mornings, he told me. Though you get your methadone elsewhere now he was saying? | |||
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" And indeed most mornings, he told me. Though you get your methadone elsewhere now he was saying?" probably cause your dealer cuts his crack with dog worming tablets (tailored to meet your needs, clearly). not much of a recommendstion...but what did i expect from a cacker? | |||
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" And indeed most mornings, he told me. Though you get your methadone elsewhere now he was saying? probably cause your dealer cuts his crack with dog worming tablets (tailored to meet your needs, clearly). not much of a recommendstion...but what did i expect from a cacker? " Yeah? Well you'd know all about cutting crack. I cut my COCK on your crack. Darling. | |||
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" And indeed most mornings, he told me. Though you get your methadone elsewhere now he was saying? probably cause your dealer cuts his crack with dog worming tablets (tailored to meet your needs, clearly). not much of a recommendstion...but what did i expect from a cacker? Yeah? Well you'd know all about cutting crack. I cut my COCK on your crack. Darling. " so? it protested....! | |||
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"put us right off our first meet now lol !!" please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x | |||
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"put us right off our first meet now lol !! please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x" Which are handy to dispose of. Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house. The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS". Which the council provided after complaints from local residents. | |||
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"put us right off our first meet now lol !!" Which is a shame. Because we're parked outside your house. Now! | |||
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"put us right off our first meet now lol !! please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x Which are handy to dispose of. Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house. The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS". Which the council provided after complaints from local residents." tch, they removed them since i promised never to have you visit again...i think they were a bit taken aback by the speed of my response though. | |||
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"put us right off our first meet now lol !! please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x Which are handy to dispose of. Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house. The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS". Which the council provided after complaints from local residents. tch, they removed them since i promised never to have you visit again...i think they were a bit taken aback by the speed of my response though. " Responsive? You? Would have been nice. And as for Speed, my arse was a blur, the tattoos were sliding off my arms. But not so much as an "oh". | |||
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"put us right off our first meet now lol !! please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x Which are handy to dispose of. Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house. The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS". Which the council provided after complaints from local residents. tch, they removed them since i promised never to have you visit again...i think they were a bit taken aback by the speed of my response though. Responsive? You? Would have been nice. And as for Speed, my arse was a blur, the tattoos were sliding off my arms. But not so much as an "oh"." yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining. i've done to death all the pm's that claim to be from single men (married) studs (geldings) last for hours (moments) and good repeater (has gas)...when i read yours claiming to be the best 4 inches I'd have in 4 minutes...i thought, "ahhhh, a man who is finally honest...", little did i realise it was the greatest exaggeration on size and performance to date. | |||
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"put us right off our first meet now lol !! please don't be put of; he scrubs up ok with a bit of industrial stength cleaning fluid and a wire brush (unless you have ultrasonic...all the better)...and even provides his own hazmat suits x Which are handy to dispose of. Just drop them in the large yellow bin outside her house. The one marked "Hazardous Medical Waste - BWEARE OF SHARPS". Which the council provided after complaints from local residents. tch, they removed them since i promised never to have you visit again...i think they were a bit taken aback by the speed of my response though. Responsive? You? Would have been nice. And as for Speed, my arse was a blur, the tattoos were sliding off my arms. But not so much as an "oh". yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining. i've done to death all the pm's that claim to be from single men (married) studs (geldings) last for hours (moments) and good repeater (has gas)...when i read yours claiming to be the best 4 inches I'd have in 4 minutes...i thought, "ahhhh, a man who is finally honest...", little did i realise it was the greatest exaggeration on size and performance to date." I just don't know what your problem is. You said "Give me twelve inches and make me bleed" I fucked you four times and punched you on the nose. | |||
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miss pink | |||
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" yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining. i've done to death all the pm's that claim to be from single men (married) studs (geldings) last for hours (moments) and good repeater (has gas)...when i read yours claiming to be the best 4 inches I'd have in 4 minutes...i thought, "ahhhh, a man who is finally honest...", little did i realise it was the greatest exaggeration on size and performance to date. I just don't know what your problem is. You said "Give me twelve inches and make me bleed" I fucked you four times and punched you on the nose." what you call 3 inches is what i call inverted...and that was a punch? jeez, i reckon a kitten could throw a better punch..i actually thought it was your twisted idea of foreplay, given everything else failed. | |||
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" yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining. i've done to death all the pm's that claim to be from single men (married) studs (geldings) last for hours (moments) and good repeater (has gas)...when i read yours claiming to be the best 4 inches I'd have in 4 minutes...i thought, "ahhhh, a man who is finally honest...", little did i realise it was the greatest exaggeration on size and performance to date. I just don't know what your problem is. You said "Give me twelve inches and make me bleed" I fucked you four times and punched you on the nose. what you call 3 inches is what i call inverted...and that was a punch? jeez, i reckon a kitten could throw a better punch..i actually thought it was your twisted idea of foreplay, given everything else failed." Get a room you two!! | |||
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" Get a room you two!!" ok, but it will be a four way split! | |||
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" Get a room you two!! ok, but it will be a four way split!" Like your front teeth? | |||
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" Get a room you two!! ok, but it will be a four way split!" please. please, please can you ask your last meet to beam us up in a thick accent | |||
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" Get a room you two!! ok, but it will be a four way split! Like your front teeth?" no. like your over-used anus | |||
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" yes, we've already established that not only can you not get my pulse racing, you bearly can keep it from flat lining. i've done to death all the pm's that claim to be from single men (married) studs (geldings) last for hours (moments) and good repeater (has gas)...when i read yours claiming to be the best 4 inches I'd have in 4 minutes...i thought, "ahhhh, a man who is finally honest...", little did i realise it was the greatest exaggeration on size and performance to date. I just don't know what your problem is. You said "Give me twelve inches and make me bleed" I fucked you four times and punched you on the nose. what you call 3 inches is what i call inverted...and that was a punch? jeez, i reckon a kitten could throw a better punch..i actually thought it was your twisted idea of foreplay, given everything else failed." I apologise for the paucity of my punch. Your face certainly looked like it's received many harder ones. Twisted idea of foreplay? Me? As opposed to the beguiling sweet nothing you barked at me; "Ah dinnae ken how they do it where you come frae pal, but where ah come frae, it's tits first THEN fanny." | |||
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" "Ah dinnae ken how they do it where you come frae pal, but where ah come frae, it's tits first THEN fanny."" I didn't understand a word of that, having a proper grasp of the Queen's English and the ability to relay it with an English tongue. I thought Rab C Nesbitt was a parody up here, not an aspiration. Good you have some ambition though I guess, even if it's not to be a palatable lover....hahaha, i can't help when I use the word 'lover' when referring to you, it's so obtuse. | |||
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" "Ah dinnae ken how they do it where you come frae pal, but where ah come frae, it's tits first THEN fanny." I didn't understand a word of that, having a proper grasp of the Queen's English and the ability to relay it with an English tongue. I thought Rab C Nesbitt was a parody up here, not an aspiration. Good you have some ambition though I guess, even if it's not to be a palatable lover....hahaha, i can't help when I use the word 'lover' when referring to you, it's so obtuse. " Of course, Of course! It's coming back to me now - my brain has remained somewhat addled since we drank your enticing "Family Tipple" of Jagermesiter and Creme de Menthe. By the Litre. (my vision is still impaired) It had slipped my mind that your are the quintessential English Rose. Short skirt, no knickers and proud of her ability to piss higher than the blokes outside "Shenanigans" nightclub in the precinct. (are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland) | |||
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" (are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland) " no, it wasnt me, though at least i know where you usually trawl for sex....and it explains why you had your mother write your verifications; wouldnt want anyone seeing the horrors you had before | |||
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" (are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland) no, it wasnt me, though at least i know where you usually trawl for sex....and it explains why you had your mother write your verifications; wouldnt want anyone seeing the horrors you had before " And talking of trawling, best you get your stockings off. The Fleet at Grimsby need their nets back. | |||
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" (are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland) no, it wasnt me, though at least i know where you usually trawl for sex....and it explains why you had your mother write your verifications; wouldnt want anyone seeing the horrors you had before And talking of trawling, best you get your stockings off. The Fleet at Grimsby need their nets back." i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers | |||
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" (are you SURE it wasnt you i saw on ITV4's "Sluts, Scags and Skanks?- would explain your move to Scotland) no, it wasnt me, though at least i know where you usually trawl for sex....and it explains why you had your mother write your verifications; wouldnt want anyone seeing the horrors you had before And talking of trawling, best you get your stockings off. The Fleet at Grimsby need their nets back. i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers" I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here. As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone". (presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.) | |||
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" i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here. As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone". (presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.)" you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam? | |||
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" i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here. As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone". (presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.) you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam? " Precisely. Because i'm not her father. We don't know who her father is, do we? And now that the U.S Naval base at Dunoon has closed and the 21,000 men of the 6th Fleet have redeployed, it's unlikely that we ever will. Still, you made one of them cum. Alegedly. | |||
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" i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here. As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone". (presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.) you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam? Precisely. Because i'm not her father. We don't know who her father is, do we? And now that the U.S Naval base at Dunoon has closed and the 21,000 men of the 6th Fleet have redeployed, it's unlikely that we ever will. Still, you made one of them cum. Alegedly. " 21 million men couldnt erase the horror of your impression of fucking. But I continue to try | |||
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" i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here. As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone". (presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.) you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam? Precisely. Because i'm not her father. We don't know who her father is, do we? And now that the U.S Naval base at Dunoon has closed and the 21,000 men of the 6th Fleet have redeployed, it's unlikely that we ever will. Still, you made one of them cum. Alegedly. 21 million men couldnt erase the horror of your impression of fucking. But I continue to try " Oh you're trying, no question about that. MY impressions of fucking? This from the woman whos "come hither" look makes her look like Mike Yarwood doing Harold Wilson. (so few women smoke pipes these days) | |||
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" i traded them for your sweaty saggy ball bag...it has more experience of holding dead swimmers I'm surprised you state that my swimmers are dead publicly here. As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone". (presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.) you've just exposed quite publically the kind of first date you give a girl...darren. though, what kind of farther are you, you forget her third name is spam? Precisely. Because i'm not her father. We don't know who her father is, do we? And now that the U.S Naval base at Dunoon has closed and the 21,000 men of the 6th Fleet have redeployed, it's unlikely that we ever will. Still, you made one of them cum. Alegedly. 21 million men couldnt erase the horror of your impression of fucking. But I continue to try Oh you're trying, no question about that. MY impressions of fucking? This from the woman whos "come hither" look makes her look like Mike Yarwood doing Harold Wilson. (so few women smoke pipes these days)" come hither?! it was more of a "fuck right off"....surely you should recognise that look by now?! the pipe was the closest thing to hand and served the purpose of trying (unsuccesfully) to disguise the smell of your fetid breath whilst blocking you from being able to kiss me. your teeth are so yellow even dorothy mistook them for the yellow brick road and shane macgowan boaks when you smile | |||
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"Oh i hear bells. For such hate must come from true love....... "hate? this is the on-line version of the tango! | |||
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"To be fair, the signs were all there for me to see this was going to be a disaster. Right from the early mails where you talked about how you loved "Navy Shag" -i mistakenly assumed you had excellent taste in carpeting, rather than a penchant for pipes and pubescent pursers. It looked like a "come hither" look to me. I was mesmerised by your eyes and couldnt stop looking at them. Unfortunately your left eye felt the same way about your right one. " they went into shock when they saw you, thanfully the paralysis was temporary as it gave me a chance to check out your profile pics again...and i must ask, can you set me up a date with the mate that posed for you...or is he gay too? | |||
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"Oh i hear bells. For such hate must come from true love.......
hate? this is the on-line version of the tango!"TANGO! I KNEW i had seen that shade of orange somewehere. Just not as an eyeshadow. | |||
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"Oh i hear bells. For such hate must come from true love....... "Hate? How naive you are madam. In Scotland, we call this "Courting". | |||
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"To be fair, the signs were all there for me to see this was going to be a disaster. Right from the early mails where you talked about how you loved "Navy Shag" -i mistakenly assumed you had excellent taste in carpeting, rather than a penchant for pipes and pubescent pursers. It looked like a "come hither" look to me. I was mesmerised by your eyes and couldnt stop looking at them. Unfortunately your left eye felt the same way about your right one. they went into shock when they saw you, thanfully the paralysis was temporary as it gave me a chance to check out your profile pics again...and i must ask, can you set me up a date with the mate that posed for you...or is he gay too?" The pictures are, in fact, of me. It was perhaps difficult for you to appreciate my adonistic qualities in the soft light as it filtered through your window. From the blazing Mondeo in the street. And you can only begin to imagine my surprise when, after arranging to meet based on the ONE picture you have on your profile, it turned out to be of your grandmother doing burlesque during the war. | |||
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"To be fair, the signs were all there for me to see this was going to be a disaster. Right from the early mails where you talked about how you loved "Navy Shag" -i mistakenly assumed you had excellent taste in carpeting, rather than a penchant for pipes and pubescent pursers. It looked like a "come hither" look to me. I was mesmerised by your eyes and couldnt stop looking at them. Unfortunately your left eye felt the same way about your right one. they went into shock when they saw you, thanfully the paralysis was temporary as it gave me a chance to check out your profile pics again...and i must ask, can you set me up a date with the mate that posed for you...or is he gay too? The pictures are, in fact, of me. It was perhaps difficult for you to appreciate my adonistic qualities in the soft light as it filtered through your window. From the blazing Mondeo in the street. And you can only begin to imagine my surprise when, after arranging to meet based on the ONE picture you have on your profile, it turned out to be of your grandmother doing burlesque during the war. " again, i can only apologise for the neighbours torching your car, they feared it would bring down the value of their property. had i realised you would be attracted by pictures of my granny, i would have invited her along...save me the effort | |||
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"To be fair, the signs were all there for me to see this was going to be a disaster. Right from the early mails where you talked about how you loved "Navy Shag" -i mistakenly assumed you had excellent taste in carpeting, rather than a penchant for pipes and pubescent pursers. It looked like a "come hither" look to me. I was mesmerised by your eyes and couldnt stop looking at them. Unfortunately your left eye felt the same way about your right one. they went into shock when they saw you, thanfully the paralysis was temporary as it gave me a chance to check out your profile pics again...and i must ask, can you set me up a date with the mate that posed for you...or is he gay too? The pictures are, in fact, of me. It was perhaps difficult for you to appreciate my adonistic qualities in the soft light as it filtered through your window. From the blazing Mondeo in the street. And you can only begin to imagine my surprise when, after arranging to meet based on the ONE picture you have on your profile, it turned out to be of your grandmother doing burlesque during the war. again, i can only apologise for the neighbours torching your car, they feared it would bring down the value of their property. had i realised you would be attracted by pictures of my granny, i would have invited her along...save me the effort" No need to aplogise on your behalf. It was my own stupid fault. I should have known there would be trouble when the quizzical neighbours referred to it in wonder as a "Horseless Carriage". | |||
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"Do you speak to both parties prior to meeting to ensure everyone is comfortable with the meet? Do you meet socially prior to playing? How do you select your playmates? " select them i want too shag them not join the SaS | |||
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"As privately you appear to have informed the C.S.A that i am the father of someone with the, somwhat bizarre nomenclature of "Pinnott Griggeeeooo, Skegness, Darren, Alone". (presumably following the current fashion of the childs name being a reminder of its conception.) Sir i salute you... And even getting pinot right.. Sure you haven't got any bi in you.. Er want some?" he certainly has something in him...i thought it was a huge pole, you may, however, be correct | |||
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" And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness? Bridlington i could believe." you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger | |||
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" And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness? Bridlington i could believe. you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger" I rogered her. But i wouldnt describe it as jolly. You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it. | |||
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" And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness? Bridlington i could believe. you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger I rogered her. But i wouldnt describe it as jolly. You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it." no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line. | |||
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" And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness? Bridlington i could believe. you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger I rogered her. But i wouldnt describe it as jolly. You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it. no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line." Punch line? Punch bag more like. It was strange looking into your eyes in bed one minute, and then seeing them again on the poster on the wall with you as the main attraction in a local bare knuckle boxing bout. | |||
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" And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness? Bridlington i could believe. you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger I rogered her. But i wouldnt describe it as jolly. You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it. no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line. Punch line? Punch bag more like. It was strange looking into your eyes in bed one minute, and then seeing them again on the poster on the wall with you as the main attraction in a local bare knuckle boxing bout." speaking of which, can we go back to where I just beat you up physically, this is not as sexually arousing to me as it is to you....nothing new there perhaps, however.... | |||
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" And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness? Bridlington i could believe. you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger I rogered her. But i wouldnt describe it as jolly. You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it. no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line. Punch line? Punch bag more like. It was strange looking into your eyes in bed one minute, and then seeing them again on the poster on the wall with you as the main attraction in a local bare knuckle boxing bout. speaking of which, can we go back to where I just beat you up physically, this is not as sexually arousing to me as it is to you....nothing new there perhaps, however...." Guess which one of us was brought up with violence and which one with violins... | |||
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" And how often does the 6th Fleet moor up at Skegness? Bridlington i could believe. you might not find a matelot, but you can get a jolly roger I rogered her. But i wouldnt describe it as jolly. You read about scurvy, but you don't expect to see it. no, it wasn't jolly at all, it felt more like a sick joke and you were the punch-line. Punch line? Punch bag more like. It was strange looking into your eyes in bed one minute, and then seeing them again on the poster on the wall with you as the main attraction in a local bare knuckle boxing bout. speaking of which, can we go back to where I just beat you up physically, this is not as sexually arousing to me as it is to you....nothing new there perhaps, however.... Guess which one of us was brought up with violence and which one with violins..." that's what this is about, enjoying all those things previously denied us, surely? | |||
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"So stop denying how much you want me." i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now | |||
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"So stop denying how much you want me. i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now" That's good to hear. Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem. | |||
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"So stop denying how much you want me. i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now That's good to hear. Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem." the hardest part was actually saying your name without reaching for a razor | |||
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My thumb hurts from scrolling down on my phone. What was the op's original question? | |||
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"So stop denying how much you want me. i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now That's good to hear. Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem. the hardest part was actually saying your name without reaching for a razor" Hard not to reach for a Razor? I felt the same way about your legs. And toes... | |||
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"So stop denying how much you want me. i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now That's good to hear. Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem. the hardest part was actually saying your name without reaching for a razor Hard not to reach for a Razor? I felt the same way about your legs. And toes..." careful, your envy is showing....i know you know how to spell alopecia... | |||
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"So stop denying how much you want me. i'm getting help to prevent me from self-harming now That's good to hear. Often the hardest part is admitting to yourself that you've got a problem. the hardest part was actually saying your name without reaching for a razor Hard not to reach for a Razor? I felt the same way about your legs. And toes... careful, your envy is showing....i know you know how to spell alopecia..." Alopecia, 'tis a curse indeed. I dream of the day when my chest is as hairy as your back. Shaving a "Nike Swoosh" and the words "just do me" into it was nice of you though. Darling. | |||
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"Fcuk me...and people ask us why we dont swing! lol...I think I will cut and paste the link to this thread and send em it next time our stance is questioned! lol" You kidding? She was one of my BETTER meets on here. | |||
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Worst 1 was with a cpl who had been swinging for 8yrs so we thought would know their own rules who at 1130 as we started "playing" she flew off the handle because mrsC insisted he use 1 of our condoms "shes latex intollerent so we use silicone ones).
After a few hours calming the situation it turned out she had discovered he was having an affair at work!!!!
The condom was just a convenient excuse for her to fly at him FFS.
Even worse was they left our house at somewhere between 4am and 7am (we had gone 2 bed leaving them "talking" in the living room) and they left our door wide fookin open!!!!
Thing is life goes on and so long as you are secure in your relationship the fact that others aren't might make things awkward for a little while but you move on!
Happy swinging folks xxxxxxxxxxxx | |||
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"Fcuk me...and people ask us why we dont swing! lol...I think I will cut and paste the link to this thread and send em it next time our stance is questioned! lol You kidding? She was one of my BETTER meets on here." I was your only meet on here | |||
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"All we can add to this is YES it has happened to us!! On more than 1 occasion
Worst 1 was with a cpl who had been swinging for 8yrs so we thought would know their own rules who at 1130 as we started "playing" she flew off the handle because mrsC insisted he use 1 of our condoms "shes latex intollerent so we use silicone ones).
After a few hours calming the situation it turned out she had discovered he was having an affair at work!!!!
The condom was just a convenient excuse for her to fly at him FFS.
Even worse was they left our house at somewhere between 4am and 7am (we had gone 2 bed leaving them "talking" in the living room) and they left our door wide fookin open!!!!
Thing is life goes on and so long as you are secure in your relationship the fact that others aren't might make things awkward for a little while but you move on!
Happy swinging folks xxxxxxxxxxxx" | |||
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"Whilst in swinging we are swapping partners, there is swapping and theres downright taking the piss and being all over someone elses man or woman which sometimes has little to do with the experience of swinging and more to do with trying to get one over on the other partner to as payback for a wrong they have committed "Is this the time to get the pop corn out? | |||
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"Fcuk me...and people ask us why we dont swing! lol...I think I will cut and paste the link to this thread and send em it next time our stance is questioned! lol You kidding? She was one of my BETTER meets on here. I was your only meet on here" No you werent. But if you walk the walk like you talk the talk, you might be my last. | |||
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"Fcuk me...and people ask us why we dont swing! lol...I think I will cut and paste the link to this thread and send em it next time our stance is questioned! lol You kidding? She was one of my BETTER meets on here. I was your only meet on here No you werent. But if you walk the walk like you talk the talk, you might be my last. " according to you, two minutes with you and i wont be able to walk....for a looong time! | |||
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