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REALIATY strikes!!!!!!
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 wanting to have a lover rather than a shag!!!!!!
HELLO PEEPS this is a SWINGING SITE its all about the sex... if you want love tenderness there are dating sites out there
and yes i am the fem half !!!!!
its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!!!!  | |||
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" its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!!!! "It'll happen when people learn to spell. | |||
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"passion is a fine whilst having sex but when you start bringing emotion into it then thats where we draw the line, how many women would like there partner during a meet to whisper sweet nothings and hold the other so close and sensuallly????? not many i bet " id like to know how you have sex with out being close and sensual lol !!! if partner isnt comfortable with their other half being intimate with someone else then they shouldnt be swinging lol !! no one said anything about whispering sweet nothings and personally if a guy wants to whisper how good sommething feels or that i smell or taste good ..whats the issue with that ??lol ! my hubby would be happy i was being treated as a WOMEN and with respect ,not as a replacement for a guys right hand . just because people connect not just on a sexual level doesnt mean they are gonna leave their partner and run off ! adults on here im sure can separate a friendship with benifits from a full blowen relationship . | |||
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"Right after reading the forums time and time again reading about tenderness and how fab it is, holding her head in his hands..... wanting to have a lover rather than a shag!!!!!!
HELLO PEEPS this is a SWINGING SITE its all about the sex... if you want love tenderness there are dating sites out there
and yes i am the fem half !!!!!
its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!!!! "Where are all these threads about tenderness? I think I noticed one a bit ago? I think most of us know what the site is about and the vast majority know the difference between a dating site and a site for swingers! We certainly aren't looking for love here but come on - there needs to be an element of attraction and chemistry (well obviously not for some!). Shag and go? OK for some but not for us! Z | |||
"yep its swinging site but not a meat market ! if ppl want more substance than just being a means to scratch an itch then that is THEIR choice and what they feel comfortable with . alternatly if ppl want to get a shag asap with whoever then thats THEIR choice and what they are comfortable with ! who has they right to say ones right way or wrong way ? it its right for you then thats what matters . just because its a swing site doesnt mean we comprimise our standerds and own preferences and comform to what ever anyone else happens to deem acceptable . some ppl like one niters and spur of the moment meets ,others perfer to get to know a person and have regular meets ...neither is more valid than the other .they are just what THAT indervidual is wanting and comfortable with ,and everyones bounderies and requirments should be respected .if you dont agree with the way that persons swings then dont message em and just move on to someone with same out look as your own ." Well put and I couldn't agree more. Seems like someone feels a little insecure and threatened to me.  | |||
"Right after reading the forums time and time again reading about tenderness and how fab it is, holding her head in his hands..... wanting to have a lover rather than a shag!!!!!!
HELLO PEEPS this is a SWINGING SITE its all about the sex... if you want love tenderness there are dating sites out there
and yes i am the fem half !!!!!
its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!!!! "I think it depends on what type of meet it is. For us, we don't want any emotions to come into play with any people we meet. I (mrs) would be uncomfortable if someone was acting like a B/F when we had a meet......but on the other hand I wouldn't want a fuck and go scenario. We have it just right with how we meet.......we meet men , sometimes more than once, we have fun without any emotions and all go home happy. We are only in touch with people when we all want to meet and we keep our life seperate to this fun. | |||
"passion is a fine whilst having sex but when you start bringing emotion into it then thats where we draw the line, how many women would like there partner during a meet to whisper sweet nothings and hold the other so close and sensuallly????? not many i bet " wouldnt mind my partner whispering sweet nothings etc as if that makes the lady feel special than hes doing a good job.....anyway I know he will be coming home with me at the end of the night and that matters more to me!!! | |||
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big deal, she wrote about how nice and unusual it was, she wasnt online looking for wedding dresses once he left the house!
sometimes as someone said some people enjoy not being treated as a piece of meat but it doesnt mean they looking for "the one" and those odd wee tender moments can come as a bit of a surprise . they not my cuppa tea but thats just me and if someone finds the ying to their yang through here and they all consenting adults then who really gives a shit!!
as long as i get an invite to the wedding i hate to miss a chance to buy new clothes! x | |||
I was a bit offended if i'm honest.
*Her* | |||
"Right after reading the forums time and time again reading about tenderness and how fab it is, holding her head in his hands..... wanting to have a lover rather than a shag!!!!!!
HELLO PEEPS this is a SWINGING SITE its all about the sex... if you want love tenderness there are dating sites out there
and yes i am the fem half !!!!!
its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!!!! "What exactly are you trying to tell us though? Z | |||
"no insecurity this side all i was saying before it got took all out of context, was that the forums started to read more like a mills n boon novel. When in fact it is nothing at all like that. You can display mutual respect and we often do i may add for each others partner this doesnt mean as some of people seem to have the wrong end of the stick it is just a fuck and go. Just think (in my opinion) that some people may be looking for a little more on here than some and for the single peeps gr8 enjoy have a ball.
"I assume that is a pop at me as I started the unexpected tenderness thread. You do not know me from adam or what I am looking for. I am not looking for that special one on here, if you think I am then tough titties as you know sweet zero about me. I am on a dating site to meet someone special but know full well that my happy ever after is unlikely to happen due to circumstances which naturally you know nout about. I am still having to keep in touch with the lying ex so believe me I am in no rush to meet mr right and nor have I been for the last 5 years.The swinging has made me some amazing friends and have met some lovely couples who are also not robots. If you knew me from a different site you would know I have met probably as many couples as single men. If I was out to find a man on here, I would be only meeting single men. In fact at the moment I am desperately missing the femal touch. And that is one that has feeling attatched. Remember that is part of emotion. It would have to be one hell of a man to make me alter my life and that includes the swinging. I am not a machine and nor will I act like one.I choose to seek more than just mutual respect in a meet, I want tenderness then lust and desperate sex and all of those take emotion. Just suggesting that you maybe dont comment on what you dont know. Get to know me, what I have been through and then and only then comment on what you think "some people" are looking for. If that isnt all directed at me then I have read it wrong and apologise. Nobody knows what I want except for the close friends on here and my previous site that do know me. But dont ever think you know what I or others may be looking for. Give me emotion anyday, I dont want to live without emotion and everything it is connected with as I am not a machine. Anyway, I stopped reading mills and boon with all its boredom and have been ready more saucy novels with loads of sex and lust involved. Do you get the picture? Sex, fun, lust and respect for me all the way. Not love, love, love. | |||
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" its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!!!!
It'll happen when people learn to spell."its me crap spelling , whats going to happen nothing just get on peoples tits now and again ,, lol. And to the lovely lady who has posted this. Dont give up on your dreams ,,, theres are shaggers out there and real lovers xxxxx hope you will find what your looking for x jo xx | |||
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" its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!!!!
It'll happen when people learn to spell.its me crap spelling , whats going to happen nothing just get on peoples tits now and again ,, lol. And to the lovely lady who has posted this. Dont give up on your dreams ,,, theres are shaggers out there and real lovers xxxxx hope you will find what your looking for x jo xx"Thanks Jo, but am pretty jaded when it comes to men now hence why swinging works so well for me. Cant imagine being with one man now as need the female touch so much too. As I said before you never know where you will meet someone but will take some convincing me that it will happen on here. So now I am planning my next meet and cant wait. We all do like to dream but reality has normally a bigger effect on my life lol. | |||
"Thats all well and good coming from the female half of a couple, you can do the swing thing then be intimate and loving when you're alone. But what about single people on here? Are you saying we're not entitled to some affection and tenderness? Because if I met a man that just fucked then he wouldn't get within an inch of me. In fact I'm sick of hearing this. Yes this is a swinging site. Yes its about sex. But swinging is an extremely sociable activity and I refuse point blank to leave my emotions at home thank you very much. However, this is your point of view and you're entitled to it "Whilst swinging is not just about sex, for us we have to be close to a couple and by that i mean we have to be able to chat and have fun and laugh together because we indulge in play. But as to the comment on "arent us single people allowed to have tenderness and closeness" then not really, not with someone elses guy and not with me either. After we play with another couple my guy will be tender with me and not the people hes played with cos its just play - its not about tenderness. | |||
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"this is the reason i no longer play with couples - the male half is never allowed to be "tender" as the female half doesnt like it, therefore, i ended up feeling like some sort of "thing" for their use. im not a machine, im not only their for your pleasure and i do have thoughts and feelings. i much prefer the equal footing of meeting single men where there is a mututal understanding and yeah, shag me all over the place but you know what? if we're both on the same page and theres affection and a cuddle before during and after, then thats great. its not a declaration of love or a proposal of marriage." I (sue) do not mind Ian been tender, In fact if I thought he was not ! Then I would say that he's been a prick, given a right ticking off. I know he coming home with me. ( ok I have to drive him back LOL) But I see the tender side as be nice, because anyone having a shag with another person is being personal. Sue | |||
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"But as to the comment on "arent us single people allowed to have tenderness and closeness" then not really, not with someone elses guy and not with me either. After we play with another couple my guy will be tender with me and not the people hes played with cos its just play - its not about tenderness. " of course, as sinlge women well know, we just provide the orifice for couples to use! i'd say it's an insecure couple that have a ban on kissing and touching in any manner other than to guide the cock in... | |||
"I (sue) do not mind Ian been tender, In fact if I thought he was not ! Then I would say that he's been a prick, given a right ticking off. I know he coming home with me. ( ok I have to drive him back LOL) But I see the tender side as be nice, because anyone having a shag with another person is being personal. Sue " *applauds* | |||
"But as to the comment on "arent us single people allowed to have tenderness and closeness" then not really, not with someone elses guy and not with me either. After we play with another couple my guy will be tender with me and not the people hes played with cos its just play - its not about tenderness. of course, as sinlge women well know, we just provide the orifice for couples to use! i'd say it's an insecure couple that have a ban on kissing and touching in any manner other than to guide the cock in..." What would you say about our situation were the husband says I can do what I want with the men we play with, but I like the play as SEX and not making love? | |||
"But as to the comment on "arent us single people allowed to have tenderness and closeness" then not really, not with someone elses guy and not with me either. After we play with another couple my guy will be tender with me and not the people hes played with cos its just play - its not about tenderness. of course, as sinlge women well know, we just provide the orifice for couples to use! i'd say it's an insecure couple that have a ban on kissing and touching in any manner other than to guide the cock in... What would you say about our situation were the husband says I can do what I want with the men we play with, but I like the play as SEX and not making love?" he's not told you to not be affectionate with someone, you've made thsat decision. when i first joined the site i did talk to couples, but the list of does and dont's made me feel like i was going to be a spare wheel in their play, and it was always about the play between me and the male half; the female, it seems, was always no holds barred, we could do what we want. nothing about my choices or my needs was ever discussed. it's not my choice to be excluded by a couple if i'm going to be joining them, so i chose to remove the couples option from my profile. i recognise it is not all couples that act this way, the couple above don't, but my response was to the lady that said a single woman had no right to tenderness. NO RIGHT. my choice would be to not exercise my right to meet a couple like that, i would rather meet the other couple that said that sex is an intimate thing so would expect it. | |||
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"But as to the comment on "arent us single people allowed to have tenderness and closeness" then not really, not with someone elses guy and not with me either. After we play with another couple my guy will be tender with me and not the people hes played with cos its just play - its not about tenderness. of course, as sinlge women well know, we just provide the orifice for couples to use! i'd say it's an insecure couple that have a ban on kissing and touching in any manner other than to guide the cock in... What would you say about our situation were the husband says I can do what I want with the men we play with, but I like the play as SEX and not making love? he's not told you to not be affectionate with someone, you've made thsat decision. when i first joined the site i did talk to couples, but the list of does and dont's made me feel like i was going to be a spare wheel in their play, and it was always about the play between me and the male half; the female, it seems, was always no holds barred, we could do what we want. nothing about my choices or my needs was ever discussed. it's not my choice to be excluded by a couple if i'm going to be joining them, so i chose to remove the couples option from my profile. i recognise it is not all couples that act this way, the couple above don't, but my response was to the lady that said a single woman had no right to tenderness. NO RIGHT. my choice would be to not exercise my right to meet a couple like that, i would rather meet the other couple that said that sex is an intimate thing so would expect it. " I understood why you said it, as you sort of explained in your first post about the couples you had met before. I was just intrigued at the comment of , there must be insecurity issues if people don't have any emotion in their play. I know we are not really in the scenarios of the posts on this thread involving other couples etc, but I was just pointing out, it is my preferences that I choose to do , so I am guessing most other people do the same, whatever their preferences. On another note, I really don't think anyone should be swinging if they have any insecurities or unhealthy jealousy about what their other half is doing. It defeats the object of swinging within couples if you really don't like to share. | |||
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"I understood why you said it, as you sort of explained in your first post about the couples you had met before. I was just intrigued at the comment of , there must be insecurity issues if people don't have any emotion in their play. I know we are not really in the scenarios of the posts on this thread involving other couples etc, but I was just pointing out, it is my preferences that I choose to do , so I am guessing most other people do the same, whatever their preferences. On another note, I really don't think anyone should be swinging if they have any insecurities or unhealthy jealousy about what their other half is doing. It defeats the object of swinging within couples if you really don't like to share. " which is the crux of it, if it is a choice, then it's a totally different scenario, but to say that a single woman has no right is just the worst thing i think i've ever read. it may not be for them as a couple and they have a right to that and there will be single women or couples that may feel the same and they are all there in agreement chosing that method of intimacy (or lack thereof), but to say that someone has no right....just bit me tbh, i have every right to decide if i want or don't want tenderness and i won't enforce my needs or rules on anyone else, but will seek to find someone that wants the same as me. i also believe that there is nothing on this earth that is more intimate than sex, so it seems a little strange to say "you cant hold his/her face...but you can....[insert act of sexual nature]" | |||
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"I agree f###. The lot of yous, and take that the way you want to "Good night in the pub? To OP - I read the "tenderness thread", and probably commented on it. I read your post in here, and I think you're missing out on some amazing people, experiences and feelings. However, I respect your right to choose, and to swing in whatever way suits you. By blocking my profile, you'll be extending me the same respect. Thanks and good luck. | |||
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"ok this is the male perspective from p and p i dont want to meet a cpl and have my partner mrs P BEING TOLD THAT SHE IS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AND THAT HE CANT COPE WITHOUT ever seeing her again while he is with her. IF i allowed that senario i would be a cuckold ...which im not . what i DO WANT is to see mrs p have a great time having sex with a guy who respects her but dosent want to keep her or fall in love with her just because we allow him to be close and sensual with her. we are on this site NOT to use fems or males as meat but just for horny sex without the EMOTIONS ATTACHED is this so hard to grasp. ok as far a singles meeting cpl we have never asked or done this . if we did we would have to change our perspective and allow a certain amount of tenderness, but at the moment its not for us as a cpl. "nobody has said anything about emotions, the original thread was about tenderness, just like sex, the two can be seperated. however, sex and tenderness are harder to seperate...unless you wish the woman to keep a safe distance, legs akimbo and you can shoot your load from afar...like target practice. single women are not just a series of holes for your amusement, they have needs too. you have a right to say no to it just as they have a right to expect it. i've never had sex that was so fricking amazing that on his first jump i was professing my love within seconds of him entering...would love to know what you guys are doing if you're that spectacular?! | |||
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"A question way off topic, and asked to lots of people who do it........why when blocking is an option for any user , do people mention it so much when someone blocks them? I wouldn't care who blocks us and certainly wouldn't find it significent enough to mention when someone does. It always baffles me that one "lol ditto ruby some peeps | |||
" its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!" we like to think we are quite spontaneous and if there is an attraction will get straight "down to it" but ... there has to be that attraction in the first place ! if not then it wont happen .. i wont get hard and sarah wont get moist .. not looking for luvey-dovey stuff but a general mutual respect and appreciation otherwise ya may as well get ya wallet out and order a "home delivery service" ... arent they still advertised in the back pages of yr typical local paper? | |||
" its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!! we like to think we are quite spontaneous and if there is an attraction will get straight "down to it" but ... there has to be that attraction in the first place ! if not then it wont happen .. i wont get hard and sarah wont get moist .. not looking for luvey-dovey stuff but a general mutual respect and appreciation otherwise ya may as well get ya wallet out and order a "home delivery service" ... arent they still advertised in the back pages of yr typical local paper? " very true.atraction,respect,fuck.thats swinging. | |||
"Right after reading the forums time and time again reading about tenderness and how fab it is, holding her head in his hands..... wanting to have a lover rather than a shag!!!!!!
HELLO PEEPS this is a SWINGING SITE its all about the sex... if you want love tenderness there are dating sites out there
and yes i am the fem half !!!!!
its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!!!! "im not after a lover, im only here for sex, but i do not feel that should mean sex has to be cold and clinical, i love kissing and cuddling, i love the intimate side of sex, i couldnt have sex with someone who didnt kiss me or just wanted to jump on and bang away, i dont feel that means i need a dating site, it just means i enjoy a different side to sex than you | |||
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"Unless someone is cold, calculated and ruthless - there will always be an element of emotion in sex. We are, after all, emotional beings. " Sorry but that's just bollox! When in the middle of an orgy session and you can barely make out who is doing what to you...... where the hell does emotional attachment come into it? | |||
" i also believe that there is nothing on this earth that is more intimate than sex, so it seems a little strange to say "you cant hold his/her face...but you can....[insert act of sexual nature]"" Making love is intimate, sex is not. Kissing is intimate Cupping someones face and looking deep into their eyes is intimate. There are still those of us, ooohhh I'm such a bad and old fashioned swinger, who equate swinging with sex, not emotion, not tenderness and not intimacy. My intimacy is at home, with hubby, not with a virtual stranger who is there for a 3sum. Each to their own in swinging. We don't meet people who want full blown snogging, whispered sweet nothings and an air of intimacy, same as they won't meet us........ Who cares, as long as you all go away happy. | |||
"Unless someone is cold, calculated and ruthless - there will always be an element of emotion in sex. We are, after all, emotional beings. Sorry but that's just bollox! When in the middle of an orgy session and you can barely make out who is doing what to you...... where the hell does emotional attachment come into it?" Well said Polo........... I've been in the middle of an orgy and couldn't tell you what their names are, let alone what they looked like! All I care about is that they are wearing a condom! | |||
" i also believe that there is nothing on this earth that is more intimate than sex, so it seems a little strange to say "you cant hold his/her face...but you can....[insert act of sexual nature]" Making love is intimate, sex is not. Kissing is intimate Cupping someones face and looking deep into their eyes is intimate. " I have to disagree with this. Intimate (to me) is what is going on in the mind.... not the physical act. Making love (to me) is what is going on in the mind.... not the physical act. A playmate can hold your face in their hands and kiss you softly and be thinking.... A) I wonder if I'll get another shag before I go. B) I wonder if my meet tomorrow will be better looking than this one. C) Better take it slow for a moment, I am starting to get a bit sore. D) Jeeeze I never realised how horny it is to stare into someone's eyes like this when you are just meeting for a shag, I am gonna try this with the next one. E) yeah they do look older than their photos, but they don't half shag well. F) I don't think I can hold this fart in much longer, I need to keep their head up here. G)**blank** H) Are they wearing contact lenses I) *snigger snigger* they wouldn't be smiling if they realised what's all over my hands J) If I squeeze their cheeks in like this they look a bit like my old geography teacher. K) I wonder if they are feeling what I am feeling right now. L) I hope they want to do this again. M) god this person is special As you may be able to imagine... not all suggest intimate emotional behaviour. | |||
"this is the reason i no longer play with couples - the male half is never allowed to be "tender" as the female half doesnt like it, therefore, i ended up feeling like some sort of "thing" for their use. im not a machine, im not only their for your pleasure and i do have thoughts and feelings. i much prefer the equal footing of meeting single men where there is a mututal understanding and yeah, shag me all over the place but you know what? if we're both on the same page and theres affection and a cuddle before during and after, then thats great. its not a declaration of love or a proposal of marriage." The most amount of sense I have seen posted on here for a long time. It amazes me that the word "emotion" conjures up thoughts of running off into the sunset with the person who's just fucked you into oblivion. Surely if you have no "feelings" involved in a person you are meeting you should just charge for your services. Cold passionless sex?? Give me a giggle, a whispered word and a heartwarming shag anyday! | |||
" its time ppl seperated shaggs from emmotions!!!!!!! "Each to their own and all that, but the day I have emotionless sex is the day they nail the coffin shut and put me six feet under!
Red xx | |||
"this is the reason i no longer play with couples - the male half is never allowed to be "tender" as the female half doesnt like it, therefore, i ended up feeling like some sort of "thing" for their use. im not a machine, im not only their for your pleasure and i do have thoughts and feelings. i much prefer the equal footing of meeting single men where there is a mututal understanding and yeah, shag me all over the place but you know what? if we're both on the same page and theres affection and a cuddle before during and after, then thats great. its not a declaration of love or a proposal of marriage." Agree with this. You can still have NSA fun without being a robot. It's up to each person how much they want to "feel" when having sex and that is going to depend on the person you are with. What is difficult is knowing exactly how people like to be treated, as they don't always give clear or honest answers. To me, kissing a womans neck/earlobe or running your fingers through her hair is normal if you are making love to someone attractive. What each of you allow yourselves to "feel" when doing this is up to you. | |||
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" My intimacy is at home, with hubby, not with a virtual stranger who is there for a 3sum. " absolutely, which is why i dont meet couples, im not keen on the role of "virtual stranger who is there for a 3sum" i do understand that couples may not want to get intimate with meets, you have a partner to do that with, fair enough. in my opinion the OP was about singles though, or as i have said before, why would the op suggest couples use a dating site? anyhow thats my opinion stated and others took on board
i will stick to my emotional, intimate, tender, fucking of hot single men, who dont view me as an accessory to their husband/wife collective fantasy  | |||
" My intimacy is at home, with hubby, not with a virtual stranger who is there for a 3sum. absolutely, which is why i dont meet couples, im not keen on the role of "virtual stranger who is there for a 3sum" i do understand that couples may not want to get intimate with meets, you have a partner to do that with, fair enough. in my opinion the OP was about singles though, or as i have said before, why would the op suggest couples use a dating site? anyhow thats my opinion stated and others took on board
i will stick to my emotional, intimate, tender, fucking of hot single men, who dont view me as an accessory to their husband/wife collective fantasy "I've swung as a single and it is totally different to swinging as a couple. As I've said before, each to their own. We don't get intimate on any level with the people we play with, but then, we only play with single men as we've had no end of problems with couples and a single female isn't for us. However, that said, I do remember, as a single female, on one of the very rare occassions when I played with a couple, literally being chased out of the room by the woman because she thought her hubby was being far to affectionate with me...... I actually understand how she felt now, but I do have a huge amount of empathy for single females on here. We'll carry on being 'robots', it works for us. p.s. Polo......... dare I ask how your old georgraphy teacher fits into your overt sexual purposes? | |||
"this is the reason i no longer play with couples - the male half is never allowed to be "tender" as the female half doesnt like it, therefore, i ended up feeling like some sort of "thing" for their use. im not a machine, im not only their for your pleasure and i do have thoughts and feelings. i much prefer the equal footing of meeting single men where there is a mututal understanding and yeah, shag me all over the place but you know what? if we're both on the same page and theres affection and a cuddle before during and after, then thats great. its not a declaration of love or a proposal of marriage." I think you're right but i dont believe its because the woman doesnt like it and thats why the guy doesnt do it. When a single female or guy enters into a play session with a couple, in the eyes of the couple, it is about heightening the couples sex life, for them, for a single it will be something different. We all swing for our own personal reasons. The guy of the couple wont want to be tender afterwards, hes had what hes wanted of the person theyve played with. We have to be real about this and understand it for what it is. It wont be because the female of the couple has stopped him. He will no doubt give the person they ahve played with a hug and a kiss and say thank you and hopefully there will be a friendship formed and laughter and fun between all three, but as for the whispering of sweet nothings and kissing, then hes gonna do that with his own partner. I think its slightly different with a single male. Men know the score where tenderness is concerned. They may want to kiss someone but they are quite content to be the extra cock in a play session becuase they are getting out of it what they want, and thats sex. If i was a single woman on the scene and going with couples, i would be fully aware that whilst i may have a great time and id expect to be treated with respect and be kept safe and not hurt, id be uncomfortable if the guy wanted something too personal from me, like kissing me too much, or being over affectionate. I wouldnt get involved with any of that as I would have respect for the female of the couple. | |||
"But as to the comment on "arent us single people allowed to have tenderness and closeness" then not really, not with someone elses guy and not with me either. After we play with another couple my guy will be tender with me and not the people hes played with cos its just play - its not about tenderness. of course, as sinlge women well know, we just provide the orifice for couples to use! i'd say it's an insecure couple that have a ban on kissing and touching in any manner other than to guide the cock in..." Can i just clarify from my own perspective on this. I dont agree with no sensitivity. I agree that kissing should happen. If me and him ever played with a single woman, i wouldnt allow her to just be used as an orifice and not be treated respectfully. If she enjoyed kissing then that would be ok for my guy to do, if she was bi then I would kiss her too. I would expect him to treat her as he does me when the sex is happening - cos well it would seem so cold without all that. I mean afterwards really. My guy would probably give the single lady a hug and an kiss and say thanks your gorgeous, or whatever, and so would I of course. But as a couple we would then be off with each other cuddling, kissing, giggling, cos thats what we do. he wouldnt be sitting next to the single female and kissing and whispering to her after the sex and me just left out watching the two of them. Thats what i was referring to. We havent had penetrative sex with another couple so i cant comment about what that would be like. This really is why we go for couples because i know that the other couple are close, we are the same, after the play session we tend to have sex with our own perspective partners and then we all sit down chat and laugh. | |||
" i'd say it's an insecure couple that have a ban on kissing " I am sorry, I have to say this....... Complete and utter fucking twaddle!!!! There are plenty of swingers who don't do the kissing...... us included. It's only ever lost us one meet. You just won't find many who will openly admit to it due to the slating we get on here. And you can ask half the forumites as they know us, we are in no way insecure in our relationship. | |||
" I have to disagree with this. Intimate (to me) is what is going on in the mind.... not the physical act. Making love (to me) is what is going on in the mind.... not the physical act. A playmate can hold your face in their hands and kiss you softly and be thinking.... A) I wonder if I'll get another shag before I go. B) I wonder if my meet tomorrow will be better looking than this one. C) Better take it slow for a moment, I am starting to get a bit sore. D) Jeeeze I never realised how horny it is to stare into someone's eyes like this when you are just meeting for a shag, I am gonna try this with the next one. E) yeah they do look older than their photos, but they don't half shag well. F) I don't think I can hold this fart in much longer, I need to keep their head up here. G)**blank** H) Are they wearing contact lenses I) *snigger snigger* they wouldn't be smiling if they realised what's all over my hands J) If I squeeze their cheeks in like this they look a bit like my old geography teacher. K) I wonder if they are feeling what I am feeling right now. L) I hope they want to do this again. M) god this person is special As you may be able to imagine... not all suggest intimate emotional behaviour." The best post of the thread, thanks Polo lol | |||
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"I am interested in this no kissing thing, in the fact that after meeting many(cough) people over the last 4and half years I have never met anyone that didnt kiss me. I have met couples and singles, male and female and never has one said they dont kiss. I cant imagine having sex without kissing, that would be like eating without chocolate being involved. lol If a couple or single is not wanting to kiss my mouth but is happy to kiss my pussy then that seems very alien to me.As kissing my pussy if far more "serious kissing" to me. I honestly cant imagine it. It is normal to me to kiss and touch and nibble.... it all follows in the normal way but to not kiss to me would seem not right. Salt without vinegar and cheese without onion. Who would have salt crisps lol. How many couples have a no kissing rule and will be honest to say they do aside from the couple already written, and how many singles have a no kissing rule???? " We don't have a "rule " on it as such......and when we first started this playing we had an open mind for everything we would be trying. The first time a man kissed me during a meet it did bugger all for me..........he may as well have been smacking me around the head with a wet fish for all it did. I didn't know wether I was comfortable with the kissing thing when it happened but just thought maybe he just didn't rock my boat with his kissing. The next person who kissed me on a meet, I felt exactly the same way, nothing there to excite me and uncomfortable doing it. Now my OH can snog the gob off me and it is a big turn on....but I have decided that as it does nothing for me it wouldn't bother me if meets don't snog. | |||
"I am interested in this no kissing thing, in the fact that after meeting many(cough) people over the last 4and half years I have never met anyone that didnt kiss me. I have met couples and singles, male and female and never has one said they dont kiss. I cant imagine having sex without kissing, that would be like eating without chocolate being involved. lol If a couple or single is not wanting to kiss my mouth but is happy to kiss my pussy then that seems very alien to me.As kissing my pussy if far more "serious kissing" to me. I honestly cant imagine it. It is normal to me to kiss and touch and nibble.... it all follows in the normal way but to not kiss to me would seem not right. Salt without vinegar and cheese without onion. Who would have salt crisps lol. How many couples have a no kissing rule and will be honest to say they do aside from the couple already written, and how many singles have a no kissing rule???? We don't have a "rule " on it as such......and when we first started this playing we had an open mind for everything we would be trying. The first time a man kissed me during a meet it did bugger all for me..........he may as well have been smacking me around the head with a wet fish for all it did. I didn't know wether I was comfortable with the kissing thing when it happened but just thought maybe he just didn't rock my boat with his kissing. The next person who kissed me on a meet, I felt exactly the same way, nothing there to excite me and uncomfortable doing it. Now my OH can snog the gob off me and it is a big turn on....but I have decided that as it does nothing for me it wouldn't bother me if meets don't snog." Is it because the person you met to start with wasnt a good kisser. Or the subsequent ones? I just cannot imagine not kissing. As I said, to me it would be totally alien. Like having sex without taking any clothes of and fully dressed. I just cannot understamd it, that kissing wouldnt turn you on. Clearly as you said with your partner it does, but no one else. Wow. If it works for you great but am really struggling how it would work as never met another person in my life who doesnt kiss when having sex. I have met a number of people so thats why wondered if maybe no kissing couples are in the manority or is it a regular occurance and I just havent met them. Really trying to work it out.Am trying but, no cant imagine it. Guess that is why your you and me me. I love kissing people,not so great if the other person isnt a good kisser at all but in general, luuuv kissing. | |||
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"I am interested in this no kissing thing, in the fact that after meeting many(cough) people over the last 4and half years I have never met anyone that didnt kiss me. I have met couples and singles, male and female and never has one said they dont kiss. I cant imagine having sex without kissing, that would be like eating without chocolate being involved. lol If a couple or single is not wanting to kiss my mouth but is happy to kiss my pussy then that seems very alien to me.As kissing my pussy if far more "serious kissing" to me. I honestly cant imagine it. It is normal to me to kiss and touch and nibble.... it all follows in the normal way but to not kiss to me would seem not right. Salt without vinegar and cheese without onion. Who would have salt crisps lol. How many couples have a no kissing rule and will be honest to say they do aside from the couple already written, and how many singles have a no kissing rule???? We don't have a "rule " on it as such......and when we first started this playing we had an open mind for everything we would be trying. The first time a man kissed me during a meet it did bugger all for me..........he may as well have been smacking me around the head with a wet fish for all it did. I didn't know wether I was comfortable with the kissing thing when it happened but just thought maybe he just didn't rock my boat with his kissing. The next person who kissed me on a meet, I felt exactly the same way, nothing there to excite me and uncomfortable doing it. Now my OH can snog the gob off me and it is a big turn on....but I have decided that as it does nothing for me it wouldn't bother me if meets don't snog. Is it because the person you met to start with wasnt a good kisser. Or the subsequent ones? I just cannot imagine not kissing. As I said, to me it would be totally alien. Like having sex without taking any clothes of and fully dressed. I just cannot understamd it, that kissing wouldnt turn you on. Clearly as you said with your partner it does, but no one else. Wow. If it works for you great but am really struggling how it would work as never met another person in my life who doesnt kiss when having sex. I have met a number of people so thats why wondered if maybe no kissing couples are in the manority or is it a regular occurance and I just havent met them. Really trying to work it out.Am trying but, no cant imagine it. Guess that is why your you and me me. I love kissing people,not so great if the other person isnt a good kisser at all but in general, luuuv kissing." A good kiss is the difference between the come on and the brush off....... Always in the kiss .... | |||
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" Is it because the person you met to start with wasnt a good kisser. Or the subsequent ones? I just cannot imagine not kissing. As I said, to me it would be totally alien. Like having sex without taking any clothes of and fully dressed. I just cannot understamd it, that kissing wouldnt turn you on. Clearly as you said with your partner it does, but no one else. Wow. If it works for you great but am really struggling how it would work as never met another person in my life who doesnt kiss when having sex. I have met a number of people so thats why wondered if maybe no kissing couples are in the manority or is it a regular occurance and I just havent met them. Really trying to work it out.Am trying but, no cant imagine it. Guess that is why your you and me me. I love kissing people,not so great if the other person isnt a good kisser at all but in general, luuuv kissing." I personally think it must be my way of dealing with NSA sex. I know this sounds old fashioned now, but I was brought up to only have sex with someone you love , so when we started thinking about playing these games, I did wonder if I could even do it with strangers. This is going to make some people go " what ? " but I am going to be honest as I can......when we have NSA sex with someone, I get just that, I want them to turn up, enjoy themselves for a few hours and treat me like the slut I am acting by having a MFM. Any tenderness I only want from the OH so maybe thats why I am not bothered about kissing a stranger. I and they can still get passionate without the kissing, but I can understand why others want it, I just don't. | |||
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"Some people may not like what I am about to type... if you are kidding yourself about why you are here, I advise you to look away now. . . . . . . . . . Over the years I have come to realise that on every swinging site there are 'some' women who do not enjoy recreational sex for the pure enjoyment of what it is. This has feck all to do with "oh I just can't go through the motions" or "you have to be dead inside and empty of feelings"... it's about the ability to enjoy sex (whether that be soft and tender sex or rampant shagging and fuck me like you paid for it) with people without the need to pretend (in your head) that you mean something to the person... because 999 times out of 1000 you don't. Yes there are 'some' women on every swinging site who don't know how to enjoy sex... they have meets to fill in an empty slot in their lives, a need for affection, a need to feel wanted, a need to feel like they could be loved by someone. Deep down they'd love to be in a relationship (even though they tell us they don't need to be in one).... they are (imo) on the wrong site and in some cases just screwing themselves up. This also applies to 'some' guys but in much smaller numbers." i personally take no offence and totally respect what you are saying. on a personal level, i love, adore and cherish sex...so much so, i refuse to have a one night stand with someone i don't know and don't care about. on the other hand, i don't conciously, sub-conciously or any other way want ot be in a relationship. my life has far too much going on it it for me to dedicate any time to starting a relationship...and definitely maintaining one....i consider it would be totally unfair of me to enter into something i know i couldn't commit to wholeheartedly so won't subject anyone to being messed about. i am here for sex, nothing more, nothing less, but i love it, i love people, i enter into that fully and with as much passion and zeal that i have the energy for, then i thank my meet, give them a kiss and a hug goodbye and carry on with my little life without any concern...until next time. | |||
"this is the reason i no longer play with couples - the male half is never allowed to be "tender" as the female half doesnt like it, therefore, i ended up feeling like some sort of "thing" for their use. im not a machine, im not only their for your pleasure and i do have thoughts and feelings. i much prefer the equal footing of meeting single men where there is a mututal understanding and yeah, shag me all over the place but you know what? if we're both on the same page and theres affection and a cuddle before during and after, then thats great. its not a declaration of love or a proposal of marriage. I (sue) do not mind Ian been tender, In fact if I thought he was not ! Then I would say that he's been a prick, given a right ticking off. I know he coming home with me. ( ok I have to drive him back LOL) But I see the tender side as be nice, because anyone having a shag with another person is being personal. Sue " Nicely put and the same goes for us xxxx | |||
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"Madchick summed up my feelings in relation to singles etc, she put it far more eloquently than I did though. In relation to the no kissing rule, myself and my guy dont particularly have this rule but the kissing between us and others is not the same as the kissing we share together. We never initiate kissing, and thats not because Ive said he cant, he just doesnt. If a woman moves her face forward to kiss him then he will kiss her back, but its never a long drawn out intimate type of kiss. Im the same with guys, if they kiss me I will kiss back but i never initiate or try and kiss other guys. I dont need to, i have lovely enjoyable sensual kissing with my partner. There wouldnt be any kissing after the play session had ended though. There seems to be a very definite drawing back for us. Like I said before, we hug, we thank someone, give them a quick kiss, hopefully we will stay in touch and be friends, but its definitely closure for us then. " At last, a couple who with the same ethos as us When I started swinging 10 years ago, I was a single female and I can honestly say that it was very very rare if I ever kissed a guy I was swinging with, unless we were in a dating and swinging relationship. I always kept the kissing for boyfriends (and if they didn't swing, nor did I). I met Jason at Chameleons on a Sunday night and fell instantly and head over heels in love (soppy but true). I spent 4 hours in a room with him and snogged his face off and I had never felt such passion with anyone else. Thank god he felt the same as we moved in together 1 week later and married after just 5 months. Jason discussed with me the kissing thing, he had exactly the same perspective as me. He very rarely, if ever kissed anyone he was 'playing' with other than a girlfriend and he made it clear, that if I wanted to kiss the other girl/guy, I was quite free to do so and it would be no problem. As I very rarely, if ever kissed anyone, I was quite happy to say 'no kissing' with playmates. What makes it easier for us is that we only do 1 off's. That is what swinging is too us and it is probably why we swing in clubs, we like the anonimity. We have many many swinging friends and we don't play with them. We swing with strangers, thats OUR way. However, I have to say that I understand why some like kissing, why some need kissing and why a high percentage of swingers need the 'tenderness' or emotionality of passion when they have sex. I will state though that in the 10 years I have swung, not kissing and refusing tenderness have only ever cost me one meet so I can't be doing everything wrong. Personally, I'd be well pissed off if a woman started stroking Jason's cheek or trying to force her tongue down his throat or wanted sweet nothings whispered into her ear, the same way Jason wouldn't be too amused if a bloke did it to me........... and believe me, it's been tried (and funnily enough, always by the woman) We now only play together and we are always within visual range, it's our safety feature, but regardless of how WE swing, we enjoy what WE do and bugger anyone else if they don't like it. To us personally, swinging is about sexual liberation, sexual freedom and the ability to have sex with others and in a way that we find comfortable without the emotional attachments that relationships bring. We use single men for sexual gratification, the same as they use us and when we say goodbye at the end of a play, I don't want to be thinking, "cor, he was a great kisser who had the deepest blue eyes,"..... I want to be thinking, "blimey, my knees have gone all wibbly from being fucked royaly and my clit is on fire." Everyone should swing how THEY wish to, but the constant...... you can't have sex without kissing stance that is taken on here is getting rather wearing. | |||
" Everyone should swing how THEY wish to, but the constant...... you can't have sex without kissing stance that is taken on here is getting rather wearing." the 'kissing' isn't the running theme though. the op mentioned the fact that another thread had talked about tenderness and that this wasnt a dating site and that it is not the remit of swinging to provide that. you are a good case in point in actuality, meeting your partner in a swinging environment...would the op then say that you mis-used the ethos of swinging and should have found your partner through a dating site, would the op suggest you were phony swingers as you met through swinging?? | |||
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" Im sorry if singles dont like this or thing we're wrong but to us swinging is about sex and freedom and meeting new people, but the intimacy and feelings are between us two and thats not shared as part of our swinging experience. "* nods * | |||
" the 'kissing' isn't the running theme though. " Unfortunately, kissing is a 'done to death' thread that always seems to rear it's ugly head within these type of topics and it's been brought up again, in this one! "the op mentioned the fact that another thread had talked about tenderness and that this wasnt a dating site and that it is not the remit of swinging to provide that." I understand what the OP meant, but the thread has veered slightly since it was started. I actually agree with the OP to a point. If two singles meet, get on and decide to start a relationship, it still doesn't mean that swinging has become a dating forum, it's just that two single people have met, through swinging. "you are a good case in point in actuality, meeting your partner in a swinging environment...would the op then say that you mis-used the ethos of swinging and should have found your partner through a dating site, would the op suggest you were phony swingers as you met through swinging??" Maybe, IF we had both been very new to the swinging game and we had been using swinging purely for getting a date/partner/spouse. as it was, I had been swinging for 7 years when I met Jason and he had been swinging for 3 years. Ergo, swinging was just the forum for the two of us to meet. I truly believe that we would have met some other way had we not met that night (.... god I'm sad )
I, personally, think that there are far too many people within the swinging community who see swinging as a way to find a partner/love/whatever you want to label it, with someone, whilst getting shagging in the meantime.
In all honesty, dating within the swinging scene is no worse than dating within work or within a circle of friends. Sometimes it will work, sometimes it won't.
What I personally find abhorant, si those singles who specifically use the swinging scene to get a partner by any means possible.
I am extremely well known and therefore, I know a huge amount of people. I know single women who will deliberately try to break up a partnership because they want the man to themselves. I know men who have tried to break up relationships because they want the woman to themselves. I know one couple where the woman is looking to get out but wants to meet another swinger.... she admitted it to me then tried to get Jason in a room on his own without knowing who he was. I also know a married woman who was asking men to take her into a room at a club, without her partners knowledge so that he might find them and cause enough of a row to start the break up of their marriage. I had a so called friend, lie to my face with regards to what Jason had done and said because, as she had to admit, she wanted him.
I know a married woman who killed herself because she fell in love with a single male swinger, moved in with him and it went wrong. When her swinging husband refused to have her back, she committed suicide.
I could go on with the horror stories but I won't. Needless to say, not all emotionality and tenderness shown within the NSA swinging rules is innocent and down to the perceived passion of the sexual act. There are plenty of swingers who throw away the rule book and disrespect their spouse/playmates partner to their own gain...... much like real life.
I've been doing this long enough to see when the 'pss' is being taken and when another swinger is emotionally dangerous, but I don't always get it right.
I'd rather have OUR rules and stick to them, that way there are no misunderstandings and no problems. | |||
"Yes completely and utterly agree Madchick. I get fed up with being accused of not liking single women, being insecure in my relationship, being jealous etc etc. Its really not that. Me and him swing, mainly with couples. We have swung with singles in a club. We prefer it to be anonymous and spontaneous. We will kiss if others want to, we never initiate it and it doesnt last very long, we tend to break away. He always checks that im ok during any play session, he is always looking at me and i feel secure in that. Swinging is what we share together to enhance our own sex life. He may be having his cock sucked but he always looks at me when hes involved in any sexual act with another woman. He never leaves me out and im always involved. Thats what the sex in swinging is about for us, enhancement. Im the same with the guys I play with. He never has to feel jealous because he knows that he comes first for me. And after the play session ends, me and him will be together, alone, sharing it, because after sex and play intimacy is between us two only. Im sorry if singles dont like this or thing we're wrong but to us swinging is about sex and freedom and meeting new people, but the intimacy and feelings are between us two and thats not shared as part of our swinging experience. "Very well said........ **and throws a wink at Rugby.... cus I feel like it** | |||
" the 'kissing' isn't the running theme though. Unfortunately, kissing is a 'done to death' thread that always seems to rear it's ugly head within these type of topics and it's been brought up again, in this one! the op mentioned the fact that another thread had talked about tenderness and that this wasnt a dating site and that it is not the remit of swinging to provide that. I understand what the OP meant, but the thread has veered slightly since it was started. I actually agree with the OP to a point. If two singles meet, get on and decide to start a relationship, it still doesn't mean that swinging has become a dating forum, it's just that two single people have met, through swinging. you are a good case in point in actuality, meeting your partner in a swinging environment...would the op then say that you mis-used the ethos of swinging and should have found your partner through a dating site, would the op suggest you were phony swingers as you met through swinging?? Maybe, IF we had both been very new to the swinging game and we had been using swinging purely for getting a date/partner/spouse. as it was, I had been swinging for 7 years when I met Jason and he had been swinging for 3 years. Ergo, swinging was just the forum for the two of us to meet. I truly believe that we would have met some other way had we not met that night (.... god I'm sad )
I, personally, think that there are far too many people within the swinging community who see swinging as a way to find a partner/love/whatever you want to label it, with someone, whilst getting shagging in the meantime.
In all honesty, dating within the swinging scene is no worse than dating within work or within a circle of friends. Sometimes it will work, sometimes it won't.
What I personally find abhorant, si those singles who specifically use the swinging scene to get a partner by any means possible.
I am extremely well known and therefore, I know a huge amount of people. I know single women who will deliberately try to break up a partnership because they want the man to themselves. I know men who have tried to break up relationships because they want the woman to themselves. I know one couple where the woman is looking to get out but wants to meet another swinger.... she admitted it to me then tried to get Jason in a room on his own without knowing who he was. I also know a married woman who was asking men to take her into a room at a club, without her partners knowledge so that he might find them and cause enough of a row to start the break up of their marriage. I had a so called friend, lie to my face with regards to what Jason had done and said because, as she had to admit, she wanted him.
I know a married woman who killed herself because she fell in love with a single male swinger, moved in with him and it went wrong. When her swinging husband refused to have her back, she committed suicide.
I could go on with the horror stories but I won't. Needless to say, not all emotionality and tenderness shown within the NSA swinging rules is innocent and down to the perceived passion of the sexual act. There are plenty of swingers who throw away the rule book and disrespect their spouse/playmates partner to their own gain...... much like real life.
I've been doing this long enough to see when the 'pss' is being taken and when another swinger is emotionally dangerous, but I don't always get it right.
I'd rather have OUR rules and stick to them, that way there are no misunderstandings and no problems."I'll keep reiterating that that is your choice as i will continue to reiterate that it is mine to not be an emotional cold fish just because i would be construed as needy or desperate or a marriage wrecker just because to be otherwise would raise all those fears that everyone seems to have because of horror stories the types of which you have raised above. it isn't the swinging society that creates the kind of behaviour you have listed above, it just provides the props just out of interest (BECAUSE I AM NOT LOOKING FOR YOURS, MINE OR ANY OTHER PERSONS MAN), how long do you have to swing before it becomes acceptable to date someone else from the swinging world without being accused of only using this site for that very purpose? | |||
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"what a load of rubbish....... you can have emotions during sex without falling in love with a person .its about funa nd connecting with a person and not just a good old leg over...... heres to the peeps who think tenderness is part of the fun as we do xxxx "applause | |||
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"Some people may not like what I am about to type... if you are kidding yourself about why you are here, I advise you to look away now. . . . . . . . . . Over the years I have come to realise that on every swinging site there are 'some' women who do not enjoy recreational sex for the pure enjoyment of what it is. This has feck all to do with "oh I just can't go through the motions" or "you have to be dead inside and empty of feelings"... it's about the ability to enjoy sex (whether that be soft and tender sex or rampant shagging and fuck me like you paid for it) with people without the need to pretend (in your head) that you mean something to the person... because 999 times out of 1000 you don't. Yes there are 'some' women on every swinging site who don't know how to enjoy sex... they have meets to fill in an empty slot in their lives, a need for affection, a need to feel wanted, a need to feel like they could be loved by someone. Deep down they'd love to be in a relationship (even though they tell us they don't need to be in one).... they are (imo) on the wrong site and in some cases just screwing themselves up. This also applies to 'some' guys but in much smaller numbers." the most important part of this post, for me, was the "imo" bit :o) i am insulted that you may lump me in with the people you are referring to, just because i prefer to know who im having sex with rather than not knowing who is sticking what in me, in an orgy. or a jacuuzzi (big brother fans might get that! ) | |||
"It all depends really. Of course there has to be some level of intimacy when you’re having sex with someone (in our experience anyway!). I agree with what someone else pointed out somewhere on here – if someone is willing to have full sex yet not kiss, isn’t that slightly unnerving? But then again, everyone’s different and has different expectations - personally I’d be a bit put off by a no-kissing rule. From a female point of view: in all honesty, when I had my first experience I too thought seeing my partner kiss someone else would be strange, that I’d hate it and feel perhaps jealous, or put off by this. Having a threesome (with my partner and another female) was something I had always wanted to try. Partner wanted to try it as well (both new to this!). Because even though it had always been my fantasy, there was still a tiny bit of doubt that I may feel envious, or weird actually seeing my boyfriend with another woman, and we’d heard horror stories from people who have had threesomes which had ended in disaster! We decided that, rather to find someone first of all, to go with an escort, as that way it would be just sex, we would never meet that person again, there’s no emotion involved and if one of us did not like it after all, then it could be put down to experience and not done again, without the risk of ruining our very good relationship. As it turned out, it was amazing and we had no issues whatsoever, I loved every minute of it. That’s why we are on here, having tried it, we’d love to carry on. :D Then again, if someone was to get OVERLY intimate with my boyfriend in terms of kissing, this might be an issue. (Same goes for someone being overly attentive with me; partner wouldn’t like that either!) There’s a line I suppose; whereas a no-kissing rule doesn’t seem appropriate for us, if someone was to go a bit OTT, it may be a bit off-putting. So I can see your points on this. Guess it depends on how secure you are in this – personally, can’t have sex without kissing to some extent, and if someone would be willing to sleep with us yet not want to kiss it, I imagine it would feel strange... That’s just our two cents "isnt sex overly attentive anyway? xxx thought thats what this site was about xxxx | |||
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" Ooops, nawty man, i forgot to quote previous essays from above. Soz. " slaps your legs and sends you to the back of the class lol xx | |||
" .... the most important part of this post, for me, was the "imo" bit :o) i am insulted that you may lump me in with the people you are referring to, just because i prefer to know who im having sex with rather than not knowing who is sticking what in me, in an orgy. or a jacuuzzi (big brother fans might get that! ) " I think you'll find the important word was in fact 'some' and I did use the word 'some' a few times..... so if in reading my post you feel you are not part of 'the rest' and are being lumped in with the 'some', it is you doing the lumping. | |||
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"Ah ok, why do people go on about how bad the spelling is. I dont think we are on this site for spelling recognition but for mutual fun. " You mean you don't enjoy pionting out seplling errors? | |||
"Ah ok, why do people go on about how bad the spelling is. I dont think we are on this site for spelling recognition but for mutual fun. Maybe the poster who commented about the OP spelling then should take a test along on the next meet if that seems to be their offering to the subject only. Can we please get past the spelling people on peoples posts." No. You judge people on your criteria. I'll judge people on my criteria. | |||
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"Question to all, and I am interested in your views. Is a single that only plays with other singles a swinger? I personally do not consider myself a true swinger, just a single who likes to have NSA fun with other singles! "They 'could' be a swinger... but they are not swinging. Whilst I don't think it matters if someone is a swinger or not - I do think it matters that the label means something, rather than trying to cover every person who has sex on a swinging site. I question the motives of those singles desperate to be called a swinger, as if they have a strong need to separate themselves from the rest of the adult population who shag. Being a swinger makes you no more or less a person, with no more or less moral values than any other person enjoying recreational sex. I think I am a swinger because of my beliefs (though I am really not precious about the label)... that is I know I would want to continue to enjoy recreational sex with singles and couples when in a relationship… and I do not restrict recreational sex to being activities between only two people. I do not think a lot of what I do as a result of being on this site is swinging... it's just sex.... 1 man + 1 woman humping. If some singles think calling it swinging and being on here (regardless of your selection criteria) makes you better than a vanilla getting shagged on a Saturday night by a guy she pulled in a bar........ then you need to look inside yourself at your own judgemental hang-ups about sex. | |||
"Ah ok, why do people go on about how bad the spelling is. I dont think we are on this site for spelling recognition but for mutual fun. Maybe the poster who commented about the OP spelling then should take a test along on the next meet if that seems to be their offering to the subject only. Can we please get past the spelling people on peoples posts. No. You judge people on your criteria. I'll judge people on my criteria. " ok ive now heard it all lol !! heaven help anyone who fails to have perfect spelling ,or dares to forget a full stop lol !! are we heading as to being SO petty that every member should have to pass a written english test before being allowed to have a profile or post on here ??! OMG!!!!! personally i think its the content of whats being said thats important .id certainly not think any less of a person simply because of afew spelling errors !if a person takes time to put their view across or post some common sense then im not going to slam them for type "o s " or missing commas !!!!! the forums are for EVERYONE and here we go again alienating people !some people may not be the greatest spellers or at punctuation for a number or reasons . should they be made to feel belittled or unworthy to dare post a thread on here ? im NOT perfect and certainly not going to take joy in pointing out others errors just to make myself feel more superior . before anyone states thats not what theyre doing ,then what value do comments like "tosh and badly spelt tosh have ? its not constructive and serve no purpose at all ! by all means disagree with poster and state your case as to why you dont agree .dont try and boost your own self worth and ego by using what basically is bully boy tactics .these people obviously have no faults of their own to be able to point out others flaws ..... no one should feel excluded or aprehensive about posting just because of their spelling ect !in whats ment ot be such an open minded ,tolerent community im always amazed at the norrow vision of the few on here . | |||
" personally i think its the content of whats being said thats important .id certainly not think any less of a person simply because of afew spelling errors !if a person takes time to put their view across or post some common sense then im not going to slam them for type "o s " or missing commas !!!!! the forums are for EVERYONE and here we go again alienating people !some people may not be the greatest spellers or at punctuation for a number or reasons . should they be made to feel belittled or unworthy to dare post a thread on here ? im NOT perfect and certainly not going to take joy in pointing out others errors just to make myself feel more superior . before anyone states thats not what theyre doing ,then what value do comments like "tosh and badly spelt tosh have ? its not constructive and serve no purpose at all ! by all means disagree with poster and state your case as to why you dont agree .dont try and boost your own self worth and ego by using what basically is bully boy tactics .these people obviously have no faults of their own to be able to point out others flaws ..... no one should feel excluded or aprehensive about posting just because of their spelling ect !in whats ment ot be such an open minded ,tolerent community im always amazed at the norrow vision of the few on here . " That saves me typing now. It is a great post and hopefully people will take notice. | |||
" .... the most important part of this post, for me, was the "imo" bit :o) i am insulted that you may lump me in with the people you are referring to, just because i prefer to know who im having sex with rather than not knowing who is sticking what in me, in an orgy. or a jacuuzzi (big brother fans might get that! ) I think you'll find the important word was in fact 'some' and I did use the word 'some' a few times..... so if in reading my post you feel you are not part of 'the rest' and are being lumped in with the 'some', it is you doing the lumping." that isnt what i was saying. | |||
" .... the most important part of this post, for me, was the "imo" bit :o) i am insulted that you may lump me in with the people you are referring to, just because i prefer to know who im having sex with rather than not knowing who is sticking what in me, in an orgy. or a jacuuzzi (big brother fans might get that! ) I think you'll find the important word was in fact 'some' and I did use the word 'some' a few times..... so if in reading my post you feel you are not part of 'the rest' and are being lumped in with the 'some', it is you doing the lumping. that isnt what i was saying." Then I don't understand what you were saying or why you feel insulted. | |||
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"If some singles think calling it swinging and being on here (regardless of your selection criteria) makes you better than a vanilla getting shagged on a Saturday night by a guy she pulled in a bar........ then you need to look inside yourself at your own judgemental hang-ups about sex. " . I have never trawl bars and pubs looking for gents, not even when I was younger and free. It is not something that I enjoy doing. However, I enjoy going to swingers clubs to try my luck! Besides, there is a lot more going on at clubs, like being able to watch others having fun, as I am a voyeur! | |||
" .... the most important part of this post, for me, was the "imo" bit :o) i am insulted that you may lump me in with the people you are referring to, just because i prefer to know who im having sex with rather than not knowing who is sticking what in me, in an orgy. or a jacuuzzi (big brother fans might get that! ) I think you'll find the important word was in fact 'some' and I did use the word 'some' a few times..... so if in reading my post you feel you are not part of 'the rest' and are being lumped in with the 'some', it is you doing the lumping. that isnt what i was saying. Then I don't understand what you were saying or why you feel insulted." i feel youre being judgemental about people who play differently to you, have a different outlook to you etc | |||
"Question to all, and I am interested in your views. Is a single that only plays with other singles a swinger? I personally do not consider myself a true swinger, just a single who likes to have NSA fun with other singles! "id say i was a single person having sex with other single people, i dont meet couples, i dont go to clubs? i dont feel like a "swinger", i dont feel part of a lifestyle or scene? or want to be for that matter lol what i do works for me so thats the important part rather than the label i think. | |||
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" .... the most important part of this post, for me, was the "imo" bit :o) i am insulted that you may lump me in with the people you are referring to, just because i prefer to know who im having sex with rather than not knowing who is sticking what in me, in an orgy. or a jacuuzzi (big brother fans might get that! ) I think you'll find the important word was in fact 'some' and I did use the word 'some' a few times..... so if in reading my post you feel you are not part of 'the rest' and are being lumped in with the 'some', it is you doing the lumping. that isnt what i was saying. Then I don't understand what you were saying or why you feel insulted. i feel youre being judgemental about people who play differently to you, have a different outlook to you etc" Then you are reading something which isn't on the page. I have not typed how I identify the 'some' and I have not detailed how I do things. Your calculator appears to be broken, the answer should have been 4. | |||
"I personally believe Polo has always been very respectful of other people's life choices. "im basing that on a couple of things ive seen in this thread, nothing else. so your beleief may well be correct, based on other things. im not wanting to get into an argument but i was asked to clarify my point so i did | |||
" .... the most important part of this post, for me, was the "imo" bit :o) i am insulted that you may lump me in with the people you are referring to, just because i prefer to know who im having sex with rather than not knowing who is sticking what in me, in an orgy. or a jacuuzzi (big brother fans might get that! ) I think you'll find the important word was in fact 'some' and I did use the word 'some' a few times..... so if in reading my post you feel you are not part of 'the rest' and are being lumped in with the 'some', it is you doing the lumping. that isnt what i was saying. Then I don't understand what you were saying or why you feel insulted. i feel youre being judgemental about people who play differently to you, have a different outlook to you etc Then you are reading something which isn't on the page. I have not typed how I identify the 'some' and I have not detailed how I do things. Your calculator appears to be broken, the answer should have been 4." theres nothing wrong with my calculator, its obviously just diferent to yours. | |||
"If some singles think calling it swinging and being on here (regardless of your selection criteria) makes you better than a vanilla getting shagged on a Saturday night by a guy she pulled in a bar........ then you need to look inside yourself at your own judgemental hang-ups about sex. . I have never trawl bars and pubs looking for gents, not even when I was younger and free. It is not something that I enjoy doing. However, I enjoy going to swingers clubs to try my luck! Besides, there is a lot more going on at clubs, like being able to watch others having fun, as I am a voyeur! "I too prefer going to a club than trawling the bars. There are those in the vanilla world who trawl bars and yet would consider the thought of a swinging club to be immoral, seedy and so on... and probably the same thing about people who pick up sex partners on websites. I do not expect them to judge my choices of who and where I have sex with people... and thus do not judge their preferences. It's all just sex at the end of the play. | |||
"It's all just sex at the end of the play." . Recreational fun you mean! | |||
" .... the most important part of this post, for me, was the "imo" bit :o) i am insulted that you may lump me in with the people you are referring to, just because i prefer to know who im having sex with rather than not knowing who is sticking what in me, in an orgy. or a jacuuzzi (big brother fans might get that! ) I think you'll find the important word was in fact 'some' and I did use the word 'some' a few times..... so if in reading my post you feel you are not part of 'the rest' and are being lumped in with the 'some', it is you doing the lumping. that isnt what i was saying. Then I don't understand what you were saying or why you feel insulted. i feel youre being judgemental about people who play differently to you, have a different outlook to you etc Then you are reading something which isn't on the page. I have not typed how I identify the 'some' and I have not detailed how I do things. Your calculator appears to be broken, the answer should have been 4. theres nothing wrong with my calculator, its obviously just diferent to yours." At no point in my post have I even implied that people who want to get to know their sexual playmates are automatically included in the 'some'. I have made NO judgement on how people choose who they play with or how they play..... I have however commented on the motives behind 'some' people's quests on recreational sex sites and their inability to enjoy recreatinal sex for what it is.... whichever way they wish to do it. If you identify with the 'some' for 'some' reason.... I can't help that. | |||
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" If you identify with the 'some' for 'some' reason.... I can't help that." i dont. now thanks for your responses but as you seem intent on not listening to what im saying but putting your own slant on things, i think i will leave it there. of course you will come back with some witty/sarcastic remark but thats fine, you can have the last word. | |||
" If you identify with the 'some' for 'some' reason.... I can't help that. i dont. now thanks for your responses but as you seem intent on not listening to what im saying but putting your own slant on things, i think i will leave it there. of course you will come back with some witty/sarcastic remark but thats fine, you can have the last word." Ok you are right... but also wrong on a few counts. Right - yes I have again replied… it is a forum and discussions do happen on forums. Wrong - I have been reading what you have put and so far you have said you are insulted that you may be included in my comments and that I am judging people who do the recreational sex thing different to me. Yet you have failed to quote any specific comments which have led you to this point of view. Wrong - I haven't been trying to put my own slant on anything in any of my replies to you…. I have been pointing out that you have been reading something which isn’t there…. Again, if it was you would have no problems quoting it to substantiate your comments about me. Wrong – I think I managed that reply without any sarcastic or witty comments…. Bollox, did that sound a bit sarcastic? Whoops, it wasn’t meant to be. In all seriousness, it would be helpful if you could point out which bits of text you are referring to when accusing me of these things…. then I wouldn’t be so confused about wtf you are reading. | |||
