FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Let downs
Let downs
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 Better luck next time.
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"thanks Gothic just having a bad fortnight on here i think! i forget not everyone has the same standards on here as me lol" It happens to everyone at some point. I used to triple book guys, in the hope that 1 of them would turn up. Gave up meeting single guys and it's a real shame cus there alot of nice men on here, who get tarred with the same brush. But I don't ever want to feel that foolish again...... so single men...... no way! | |||
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 . Not looking forward to it, either.
We tend to do a lot of communication (emails) in a very short time with a guy, we find it a good way to gauge the reality of the person. | |||
"Still waiting for the first time this happens to us . Not looking forward to it, either.
We tend to do a lot of communication (emails) in a very short time with a guy, we find it a good way to gauge the reality of the person."On the same note I enjoy early phone calls. While we banter - I suss. Saves me a lot of time. I'd say heartache but i've never put heart in it  | |||
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"So how does the let down actually happen? Just interested... I assume you have all contact numbers etc, set a time etc... they just don't show and don't answer the phone? " dont message to cancel, dont send text or ring to cancel, no show! | |||
"So how does the let down actually happen? Just interested... I assume you have all contact numbers etc, set a time etc... they just don't show and don't answer the phone? dont message to cancel, dont send text or ring to cancel, no show!" Meh. Not good. We have gas service men like that (!) | |||
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"We have never been let down on this site.........yet, but I am sure we will at some point. PS please can we keep this a general subject and not turn it into a rip the back out of the person who didn't turn up please." i havent mentioned anyones name or specifics here, just my personal experience of let downs | |||
"So how does the let down actually happen? Just interested... I assume you have all contact numbers etc, set a time etc... they just don't show and don't answer the phone? " .... Yip that's the one but guess your both Are the lucky ones as you haven't experienced this part of swinging yet | |||
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"We have never been let down on this site.........yet, but I am sure we will at some point. PS please can we keep this a general subject and not turn it into a rip the back out of the person who didn't turn up please. i havent mentioned anyones name or specifics here, just my personal experience of let downs" As I said before ........please can we keep this a general subject and not turn it into a rip the back out of the person who didn't turn up please.....wether you name a person or not. | |||
"So how does the let down actually happen? Just interested... I assume you have all contact numbers etc, set a time etc... they just don't show and don't answer the phone? .... Yip that's the one but guess your both Are the lucky ones as you haven't experienced this part of swinging yet "Except when you do meet someone and afterwards you *wish* they'd been a noshow! :D | |||
"It wasn't me - but I'd like to apologise... I hope there are more that meet when they say they will rather than disappoint... Hugs" thanks Whistler xx | |||
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"i've decided not to meet for the foreseeable future. i'm getting very cynical and thats not like me so this is a short term solution" ....Do You have any clubs close to you ? maybe that would be better for you. We only meet @ our local club now. Even If we get let down the evening not been wasted we still have a great time with friends  | |||
"i've decided not to meet for the foreseeable future. i'm getting very cynical and thats not like me so this is a short term solution....Do You have any clubs close to you ? maybe that would be better for you. We only meet @ our local club now. Even If we get let down the evening not been wasted we still have a great time with friends "... Edit how did that get there oops
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"i've decided not to meet for the foreseeable future. i'm getting very cynical and thats not like me so this is a short term solution....Do You have any clubs close to you ? maybe that would be better for you. We only meet @ our local club now. Even If we get let down the evening not been wasted we still have a great time with friends "Club F is the only one close by but I've never been and find the idea intimidating being a single woman and a BBW I might have to suit up and try it out - thanks Gothic x | |||
"Cheeky, on behalf of us genuine single males can I appologies for this persons lack of respect and manners. Please don't give up on us, we are out there... promise "I appreciate that Herbie, thanks x | |||
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"Even the lovely sprite has had her fair share of rejections, so god help the rest of us I'd say! "Sprite gets rejected?? By what fool?? .. and why on earth am I sitting on my arse letting these fools take up her time?? | |||
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"I hope there are more that meet when they say they will rather than disappoint... Hugs" Sadly not in our experience so far. In 2 months, we (or specifically I) have been let down 6 times by single males. A couple of times I was lucky enough to have received a text - an hour before we were supposed to meet, having left the in laws early and driven 3 hours to get home.....the rest were just blatant no shows. It's hard enough finding people you "click" with (that has to be there for me) and then the buggers don't bother turning up. Meh - we're pretty much done with it all tbh after the last few months.... *Her* | |||
"I hope there are more that meet when they say they will rather than disappoint... Hugs Sadly not in our experience so far. In 2 months, we (or specifically I) have been let down 6 times by single males. A couple of times I was lucky enough to have received a text - an hour before we were supposed to meet, having left the in laws early and driven 3 hours to get home.....the rest were just blatant no shows. It's hard enough finding people you "click" with (that has to be there for me) and then the buggers don't bother turning up. Meh - we're pretty much done with it all tbh after the last few months.... *Her*" sorry to see someone else in the same boat as me hugs hun xx | |||
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"Im sorry to hear your being messed about hun as i have been too during my time here and after a very long time of putting up with it have decided to change tactis thats going to suit what im looking for on here ...As for the people who stand others up do you ever stop and think what your doing to the person mentaly?...cause the times ive been stood up its left me feeling maybe im not attractive enough or sexy enough and lead my confidance to hit a low and i didnt meet for a long time afterwards so please consider this next time u decide not to show up for a meet its takes 2 mins to text or call to say your not coming ." this is exaclty why i'm not meeting for a bit - massive confidence knock for something that is supposed to be fun for some this site is simply a way to get their leg over. i've been very good at ing these out but it seems my judgment has been impaired of late. maybe it was cos most were social meets with no guaranteed shag, so they didnt think it was worth their time who knows? All i know is 5 no shows, not good for confidence  | |||
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"Im sorry to hear your being messed about hun as i have been too during my time here and after a very long time of putting up with it have decided to change tactis thats going to suit what im looking for on here ...As for the people who stand others up do you ever stop and think what your doing to the person mentaly?...cause the times ive been stood up its left me feeling maybe im not attractive enough or sexy enough and lead my confidance to hit a low and i didnt meet for a long time afterwards so please consider this next time u decide not to show up for a meet its takes 2 mins to text or call to say your not coming . this is exaclty why i'm not meeting for a bit - massive confidence knock for something that is supposed to be fun for some this site is simply a way to get their leg over. i've been very good at ing these out but it seems my judgment has been impaired of late. maybe it was cos most were social meets with no guaranteed shag, so they didnt think it was worth their time who knows? All i know is 5 no shows, not good for confidence "Awwwww ((((Huggggzzzz)))hunni i know its not a nice feeling xxxxx | |||
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"I have said it before, it is not wrong to pull out right at the last minute, providing it is done for a valid reason and the other party informed about it. And to offer to split any cost that may have incurred to show good grace. Perhaps the gents/couples had cold feet at the last minute, or have genuine reasons to pull out. Again, this thread is rather one-sided as we do not have the views or the facts from the others involved. "Yeah - but when the other party pulls out 3 times in a row...... Of course it's OK to pull out for genuine reasons, an at the last minute - again for a genuine reason. If cold feet - then honesty would be nice. Most you just never hear from again, then find they have their meet today flags up. I get from the tone of your post that it's not so much the guys fault as the single ladies who have been let down.... Of course it's one sided - would you expect those who have let down to come and explain publicly when they don't have the good grace to tell those they have let down privately? Why is that? *Her* | |||
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"I just cant understand how people can get let down so much or dont have a back up plan so the night isnt wasted. I could understand one or two over a period of time but 5 in 2 weeks? Maybe you have to look at how your arranging your meets" they are social meets only and with people i've chatted to for some time. the format has worked fine for the first 5 months on here, i think i just hit an unlucky spate i'm not going to mull over this, at the end of the day i'm not to blame for the no show, they are. | |||
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"I just cant understand how people can get let down so much or dont have a back up plan so the night isnt wasted. I could understand one or two over a period of time but 5 in 2 weeks? Maybe you have to look at how your arranging your meets" Can you tell us how you manage to so perfectly arrange your meets then? Seriously, i'm interested to know how you could think it's something we're doing wrong! (Unbelievable) *Her* | |||
"Sorry but if your going to arrange to meet someone after they have already let you down twice what can you expect. Surely if someone lets you down once you block and move on. Why would you arrange to meet them again and again? Because as plenty have said on here already, it COULD be genuine. I was going to say that but couldnt be sure if they ment the same person let them down three times or three consecutive meets *Her* " | |||
"I just cant understand how people can get let down so much or dont have a back up plan so the night isnt wasted. I could understand one or two over a period of time but 5 in 2 weeks? Maybe you have to look at how your arranging your meets Can you tell us how you manage to so perfectly arrange your meets then? Seriously, i'm interested to know how you could think it's something we're doing wrong! (Unbelievable) *Her*" . I do not believe I have ever stated I am perfect in arranging meets, or that I am perfect in any way. I have had my fair share of disappointments. However, I just do not come onto the forums to moan and drone about life being unfair, and play the sympathy card, la di da, EVER! | |||
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"I just cant understand how people can get let down so much or dont have a back up plan so the night isnt wasted. I could understand one or two over a period of time but 5 in 2 weeks? Maybe you have to look at how your arranging your meets Can you tell us how you manage to so perfectly arrange your meets then? Seriously, i'm interested to know how you could think it's something we're doing wrong! (Unbelievable) *Her*" Well for a start, when my son was at home and i had limited time to meet people if i was meeting someone new i would always have a back up plan so if they didnt turn up i could go off and do something else (never had to use it) but if i had of had a no show then i wouldnt of sat there getting upset about it. Secondly, as i meet in my own home i go through a serious process of choosing the guys who i meet and will not meet until im good and ready, if they are wasting my time im sure they wouldnt be wanting to hang around as long as i sometimes make them wait. Thirdly, at some stage i do expect to be stood up/let down, not all systems are full proof but if this happened id like to think id just take it with a pinch of salt and move on Oh and i didnt say you where doing something wrong in fact i said maybe you have to look at how you arrange your meets. Surely if a system isnt working you go back to the drawing board | |||
"its not just the blokes. had the same thing happen to me. its only because i called to check at the last minute that she said she wasnt well. what a joke" I know its not just singles who do this ...... but what can be done to stop it xx | |||
"I am merely pointing out there are more than one side to a coin, and one can view the same situation in many different angles. And yes, I am saying that it is not always the other person's fault ALONE when he/she decides to pull out of a meet! "... But what's there reason for not textin or callin to cancel & maybe sorting out a new date ? | |||
"I just cant understand how people can get let down so much or dont have a back up plan so the night isnt wasted. I could understand one or two over a period of time but 5 in 2 weeks? Maybe you have to look at how your arranging your meets Can you tell us how you manage to so perfectly arrange your meets then? Seriously, i'm interested to know how you could think it's something we're doing wrong! (Unbelievable) *Her* . I do not believe I have ever stated I am perfect in arranging meets, or that I am perfect in any way. I have had my fair share of disappointments. However, I just do not come onto the forums to moan and drone about life being unfair, and play the sympathy card, la di da, EVER! ". Sorry, my mistake in thinking the antagonism was directed at me!  | |||
"I am merely pointing out there are more than one side to a coin, and one can view the same situation in many different angles. And yes, I am saying that it is not always the other person's fault ALONE when he/she decides to pull out of a meet! ... But what's there reason for not textin or callin to cancel & maybe sorting out a new date ? "exaclty hun .... ok wee example of someone who cancelled on me we chatted for months on and off decided to meet he was so excited at the fact id finaly agreed to meet him we spoke the nite before all seemed ok on the morning of the meet we chatted an hour befor meet time again all was ok he was looking forward to meeting me as i was him i arrive and wait for half an hour then leave so what was it i did wrong ? im sorry but if someone arranges a meet and doesnt show or contact you afterward has no excuse | |||
"I am merely pointing out there are more than one side to a coin, and one can view the same situation in many different angles. And yes, I am saying that it is not always the other person's fault ALONE when he/she decides to pull out of a meet! ... But what's there reason for not textin or callin to cancel & maybe sorting out a new date ?
exaclty hun ....
ok wee example of someone who cancelled on me we chatted for months on and off decided to meet he was so excited at the fact id finaly agreed to meet him we spoke the nite before all seemed ok on the morning of the meet we chatted an hour befor meet time again all was ok he was looking forward to meeting me as i was him i arrive and wait for half an hour then leave so what was it i did wrong ?
im sorry but if someone arranges a meet and doesnt show or contact you afterward has no excuse "If that happened to me id think what a c*** he had no intension of meeting me the w*****. Thats it, after all your contact was via phone ect, you had never had to go out your way to make this contact. The only time you went out your way was the half hour wait. Half an hour isnt really alot in the scheme of things | |||
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"I am merely pointing out there are more than one side to a coin, and one can view the same situation in many different angles. And yes, I am saying that it is not always the other person's fault ALONE when he/she decides to pull out of a meet! ... But what's there reason for not textin or callin to cancel & maybe sorting out a new date ?
exaclty hun ....
ok wee example of someone who cancelled on me we chatted for months on and off decided to meet he was so excited at the fact id finaly agreed to meet him we spoke the nite before all seemed ok on the morning of the meet we chatted an hour befor meet time again all was ok he was looking forward to meeting me as i was him i arrive and wait for half an hour then leave so what was it i did wrong ?
im sorry but if someone arranges a meet and doesnt show or contact you afterward has no excuse
If that happened to me id think what a c*** he had no intension of meeting me the w*****. Thats it, after all your contact was via phone ect, you had never had to go out your way to make this contact. The only time you went out your way was the half hour wait. Half an hour isnt really alot in the scheme of things"errrrm its wasnt just the half hour wait it was time getting ready time to get there time waiting and time to get back home all very precious time to me maybe it wouldnt be to you ... and also turning down other more genuine people for idiots like that . | |||
"I am merely pointing out there are more than one side to a coin, and one can view the same situation in many different angles. And yes, I am saying that it is not always the other person's fault ALONE when he/she decides to pull out of a meet! ... But what's there reason for not textin or callin to cancel & maybe sorting out a new date ?
exaclty hun ....
ok wee example of someone who cancelled on me we chatted for months on and off decided to meet he was so excited at the fact id finaly agreed to meet him we spoke the nite before all seemed ok on the morning of the meet we chatted an hour befor meet time again all was ok he was looking forward to meeting me as i was him i arrive and wait for half an hour then leave so what was it i did wrong ?
im sorry but if someone arranges a meet and doesnt show or contact you afterward has no excuse
If that happened to me id think what a c*** he had no intension of meeting me the w*****. Thats it, after all your contact was via phone ect, you had never had to go out your way to make this contact. The only time you went out your way was the half hour wait. Half an hour isnt really alot in the scheme of things
errrrm its wasnt just the half hour wait it was time getting ready time to get there time waiting and time to get back home all very precious time to me maybe it wouldnt be to you ... and also turning down other more genuine people for idiots like that ."No your right it wouldnt of been to me as i would of had a back up plan so wouldnt of wasted getting ready. Also why would you turn down people you know are more genuine. Sorry but i cant see that being stood up would affect my life in any way shape or form get over it and move on | |||
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"well i wasnt to know at the time they were more genuine but have met and snice found out they were " Well there you go you see, you cant let one little set back spoil it for all the good ones | |||
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"In nearly three years ive not had one let down or no show. Ive had guys(and myself have to change meet dates) . I take time to get to know a guy and suss him out, if there is the slightest thing that im not 100% sure about then i wont be meeting them. Oh and no bad experiences on actual meets either" Ditto! I've been swinging three years also and never had a no show! I'm a bbw, looking for sub males and every now and then hide my profile to fit in meets between family, friends and work. There have been a few I wonder why I bothered and those were men that sent pics taken 10 years plus before and have not aged well. I spend time getting to know them and always meet socially near my office and the station, should they not turn up no time has been wasted by me. Some people like sexual banter but never intend meeting: it would be nice if they were honest, but that's not the case. Easier said than done but you need a thick skin and not let others bring you down. | |||
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lets get this clear..... at the end of the day, the biggest thing ruining and hindering single guys out there are single guys.... sad but true...
the are probably loads of nice ones out there.... but with the ones who abuse the trust of people, or don't bother showing up, or lie, or cheat, or are just basically not nice people do really fuck it up......
I do believe that if people meet a nice single guy at the beginning then they stay with them... if they meet a not nice one, they run a mile and don't tend to come back....
can i ask ladies and couples a serious question though... what are they saying/doing that makes they so trustworthy?
sometimes i do wonder how these types of guys do get so many meets? | |||
"A gent has kind of let me down twice, by loosely arranging something, then nothing happened. The first time he had a valid(ish) excuse. I am waiting to hear what has prevented him from meeting up this evening, or his failure to let me know WTF is happening. I have things already planned to do this evening. Therefore, I shall revert to plan and enjoy the evening at home instead. Do I feel bitter about being let down? Not bitter, just disappointed. Am I like to say life is unfair, and that he is an inconsiderate b'stard? Inconsiderate perhaps, however, life is never fair, so why get wound up about it! Onwards and upwards I'd say! ". The said gent has since been online in the past hour, and has yet to contact me via FAB or phone. He is now on my blocked list, end of story. Moving on! | |||
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"There's nutters of both genders out there but, since ther are more single men than single ladies on Fab, I suppose we'll hear more tales of male behaviour than female. Having said that, driving 100 miles for a meet seems a bit excessive. If you can't get a shag closer to home than 100 miles (unless you live in John O' Groats) you're doing something very badly wrong. " Depends where you live, the closest one of my regulars is to me is 50 miles the furthest about 140 and my boyfriend is 82 miles from me | |||
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"thanks Gothic just having a bad fortnight on here i think! i forget not everyone has the same standards on here as me lol It happens to everyone at some point. I used to triple book guys, in the hope that 1 of them would turn up. Gave up meeting single guys and it's a real shame cus there alot of nice men on here, who get tarred with the same brush. But I don't ever want to feel that foolish again...... so single men...... no way!" Ooooo don't I know it Madone lol | |||
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so lets not make it an exclusive "single guy" phenomena. | |||
"We thought we had struck gold when a single girl here with loads of positive feedback agreed to meet up for a FFM. We swapped numbers, spoke on the phone, and everything was arranged. On the night I saw she was online and messaged to check all was still on which she confirmed. Then I noticed she was showing back online here when she should have been onroute, so tried to call but it rang through to answerphone. Texted her and she confirmed her imminent arrival so she had just left her pc on? It got late and no show, no more replies to texts and no answer to calls. Messaged her here and she ignored the message and went offline. Became apparent we had been let down so we just asked her why the no show but she ignored the message then blocked us! If she had messaged, texted or rang to say she wasn't coming we would have no problem, but she sat at home laughing at playing us for mugs. The worst thing was she ruined a friday night all the time knowing she was never coming, and having kids we don't get many free evening. We reported her and registered a second account to track her (as she had blocked us). Nothing happened and then she suddenly received 3 positive feedbacks, strange how she met these people when she was online here the entire time? No more since, but I suspect if anyone reports the account she will mysteriously give herself some fresh ones. Basically we are still looking and hoping, but take positive feedback with a pinch of salt and I suspect there are multiple account users who generate a whole army of accounts leaving each other pos feedback." Were these verifications from meets, socials, webcam or phone? For me, a girl with loads of phone/webcam verifications means just that and absolutely nothing as far as meeting goes. As far as being approached, if the person has no verifications AND no"green flag" photo verification (that says to admin they are who they say they are) and they've been on the site more than 3 months (sufficient time to sort "green flag") then I turn it down. Simplez! | |||
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"Ive recently had a girl go silent the day before + the day we where ment to meet up shes done that 3 times. Its worst when they dont say anything to you and your wondering wtf you should do :| 3 times she done it to you think its times to move on sucks more for me cos shes pretty much the only woman in the world even vaguely interested in me " | |||
