FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What is a 'player'?
What is a 'player'?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As I understand it, it's a hardened swinger, sort of. Use and drop kind of person. Someone who has no emotional connection with whom they have sex and who pursues lots of different targets in short succession. |
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"As I understand it, it's a hardened swinger, sort of. Use and drop kind of person. Someone who has no emotional connection with whom they have sex and who pursues lots of different targets in short succession. "
lol - well thats pretty much the majority of swingers then - we don't tend to have 'emotional connections' with the people we play with - lovely as they are, chemistry and liking them but we're never gonna marry them! Z |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As I understand it, it's a hardened swinger, sort of. Use and drop kind of person. Someone who has no emotional connection with whom they have sex and who pursues lots of different targets in short succession. "
I wouldn't have used it to describe swinging - I've heard it in the vanilla world to describe a man that has dozens of women on the go, feigning monogamy whilst carrying on illicit affairs with all and sundry.
Rap artist usually sing about them and refer to their antics as "game".
Swingers have sex with different people but everyone knows up front what the "game" is! 
That would be my interpretation! |
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"As I understand it, it's a hardened swinger, sort of. Use and drop kind of person. Someone who has no emotional connection with whom they have sex and who pursues lots of different targets in short succession. "
if thats the case then we all must be players then  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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player= serial shagger
think it more common in vanilla world as a term for a guy (sorry guys) who would shag the crack of dawn or generally most of the premier league football players! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its a person that shags around loads ......... its a player"
Yes, that would be my definition too. being a 'swinger' is quite different from being a 'player' - there's an element of honesty about it and we all know why we're here! |
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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago
London |
To us it's hunters.. And they are not necessarily singles lots of couples out there too..
We tend not to pick them, but if we do meet them, to us it's a different experience, not necessarily bad but a different type of meet...
More akin to gaydar meets than sex and fun swinging meets |
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"Why people can't use Google is beyond me.
Player:
a person who pursues a number of different social and sexual partners simultaneously "
As with most Google searches - the results you get depends on the phrasing of the question. Obviously, I got it wrong when I was looking the first time.
I beg forgiveness for asking the forum.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To me swingers arent players, they are upfront and honest people who enjoy sex, its their hobby, just like golf is to some people and they enjoy sex.
A player however is someone who consistently lies about the type of man or woman they are. They promote themselves to be a certain way but then go behind others backs. They cause hurt and upset and arent genuine and are liars and cheats.
A player on here would be the guy or woman in a couple profile, who will go behind their partners back and swing with others without their knowledge. They use people for their own means and show no emotion or even care about any hurt they cause, its themselves that are important, not others  |
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"
.. who will go behind their partners back and swing with others without their knowledge"
Oh dear - that makes me a player, doesn't it? Shame, 'cos I think I'm actually a decent bloke. Others opinion might vary. |
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I believe a player is someone who isn't honest with you and tells you lies to lead you to think one thing when they really have a different view/ agenda. Tells you what you may want to hear to get there own way.
E.g. Agrees to be your fuck buddy and says your special to them then uses you to gain entry to clubs/parties and then onto other swingers. Will let you down on meets and be unavailable or hard to get hold of because probably they are in a relationship with several others.
General not being honest. To be most geniune swingers are pretty open and geniune about what they want etc so not a player. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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and i agree with what that person agreed with what the other person said about swingers not being players in that sense of the word..
I really must start looking at who actually writes the posts |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The term 'player' was born out of the thought that it was seen as a game to get a member of the opposite sex into bed. Any person seen as being able to deploy the right (I use the term loosely) tactics in order to achieve the goal of bedding the person was seen as being a good player. The negative is that many of the tactics used involve some level of dishonesty. It's not just about sex, it's about conquering someones resistance to having sex (if I'm making sense).
That's why I'm not sure it is an appropriate term for the swinging scene, unless people on here are 'played' or misled into having sex with married folk cheating on their partners?... |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"As I understand it, it's a hardened swinger, sort of. Use and drop kind of person. Someone who has no emotional connection with whom they have sex and who pursues lots of different targets in short succession. "
Cool.......... I'm a player, I'm a player....... whooooooo hoooooooo
**Maddie The Player**
............ what fricking tosh! |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
I think the problem us swingers are facing i that the word bears negative connotations in the vanilla world (usually likened to males), and we sub-consciously transfer this into the swinging world.
For instance, a male that simply has 10 (play) verifications over the space of 2 years can be deemed a "player", but a woman who has played with 10 different guys in 1 month is simply known as genuine.
...one particular lady comes to mind, accused me of being disgusting and "bed-hopping" for displaying 4 "play" verifications (over space of 6 months) as she doesn't agree with all the "incestuous bed-hopping that goes on on Fabs" as she prefers "guys that don't play much".
According to her, I'm a player. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the problem us swingers are facing i that the word bears negative connotations in the vanilla world (usually likened to males), and we sub-consciously transfer this into the swinging world.
For instance, a male that simply has 10 (play) verifications over the space of 2 years can be deemed a "player", but a woman who has played with 10 different guys in 1 month is simply known as genuine.
...one particular lady comes to mind, accused me of being disgusting and "bed-hopping" for displaying 4 "play" verifications (over space of 6 months) as she doesn't agree with all the "incestuous bed-hopping that goes on on Fabs" as she prefers "guys that don't play much".
According to her, I'm a player."
.
Tell her to get out more and that she could be on the wrong site!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the problem us swingers are facing i that the word bears negative connotations in the vanilla world (usually likened to males), and we sub-consciously transfer this into the swinging world.
For instance, a male that simply has 10 (play) verifications over the space of 2 years can be deemed a "player", but a woman who has played with 10 different guys in 1 month is simply known as genuine.
...one particular lady comes to mind, accused me of being disgusting and "bed-hopping" for displaying 4 "play" verifications (over space of 6 months) as she doesn't agree with all the "incestuous bed-hopping that goes on on Fabs" as she prefers "guys that don't play much".
According to her, I'm a player."
Hope you directed her to match.com |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Lol - I didn't,.. she then started a campaign telling people that I couldn't handle rejection. Lol.
pmsl her loss, did you direct her to the nearest convent "
I wish - sad thing is she went to a social and slagged it off as a "whorehouse".. makes me wonder how she knows what the inside of a whorehouse is like as I certainly don't! lol. |
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"Lol - I didn't,.. she then started a campaign telling people that I couldn't handle rejection. Lol.
pmsl her loss, did you direct her to the nearest convent
I wish - sad thing is she went to a social and slagged it off as a "whorehouse".. makes me wonder how she knows what the inside of a whorehouse is like as I certainly don't! lol."
Well she was obviously on the wrong site, think you had a lucky escape. Imagine if you had shagged her she would of probely expected you to marry her afterwards lol |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Lol - I didn't,.. she then started a campaign telling people that I couldn't handle rejection. Lol.
pmsl her loss, did you direct her to the nearest convent
I wish - sad thing is she went to a social and slagged it off as a "whorehouse".. makes me wonder how she knows what the inside of a whorehouse is like as I certainly don't! lol.
Well she was obviously on the wrong site, think you had a lucky escape. Imagine if you had shagged her she would of probely expected you to marry her afterwards lol"
Don't say that out loud - rumours are she's currently stalking the last guy that shagged (and dumped) her. |
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"Lol - I didn't,.. she then started a campaign telling people that I couldn't handle rejection. Lol.
pmsl her loss, did you direct her to the nearest convent
I wish - sad thing is she went to a social and slagged it off as a "whorehouse".. makes me wonder how she knows what the inside of a whorehouse is like as I certainly don't! lol.
Well she was obviously on the wrong site, think you had a lucky escape. Imagine if you had shagged her she would of probely expected you to marry her afterwards lol
Don't say that out loud - rumours are she's currently stalking the last guy that shagged (and dumped) her."
Really dont understand some people |
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By *habsMan
over a year ago
Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex |
"Lol - I didn't,.. she then started a campaign telling people that I couldn't handle rejection. Lol.
pmsl her loss, did you direct her to the nearest convent
I wish - sad thing is she went to a social and slagged it off as a "whorehouse".. makes me wonder how she knows what the inside of a whorehouse is like as I certainly don't! lol.
Well she was obviously on the wrong site, think you had a lucky escape. Imagine if you had shagged her she would of probely expected you to marry her afterwards lol
Don't say that out loud - rumours are she's currently stalking the last guy that shagged (and dumped) her.
Really dont understand some people"
Well, for her "players" (ie, swingers that shag-around) are wrong and disgusting. That must be 99% of the swigning community - with her (and her inflated ego of herself) as the other 1% |
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"I think the problem us swingers are facing i that the word bears negative connotations in the vanilla world (usually likened to males), and we sub-consciously transfer this into the swinging world.
For instance, a male that simply has 10 (play) verifications over the space of 2 years can be deemed a "player", but a woman who has played with 10 different guys in 1 month is simply known as genuine.
...one particular lady comes to mind, accused me of being disgusting and "bed-hopping" for displaying 4 "play" verifications (over space of 6 months) as she doesn't agree with all the "incestuous bed-hopping that goes on on Fabs" as she prefers "guys that don't play much".
According to her, I'm a player."
Feck me.... I am glad I never asked for verifications from people in the orgy room.... that could have been 6 in as many minutes, never mind months
I guess it is all about how watered down words and terms get. When I hear 'player' used as a negative (whether in the vanilla world or in the swinging world) I assume it relates to 'how' they get from bed to bed. Saying whatever they have to in order to be welcomed under the covers and selection of the next hit being no more complex than the fact they are breathing. A player plays the numbers game and will play the appropriate part to bump the figures.
If a player is anyone who has sex just for the fun of it (yet is honest about their intentions).... then you better deal me in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ah i've sussed it now, you simply add a word before or after player like:
record PLAYER
Or even compose a sentence:
Would you like to ere PLAYER with this?
Bugger have I got this thread wrong?
Paddy xx
Dashes to FAB help .....
"I'm sure it's been asked before but I couldn't find it using the search function.
Thanks"
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