FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > whats ur other half doing behind ur back?
whats ur other half doing behind ur back?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its quite common on sites like this,its happened to me male half wouldnt take no for an answer,he was a right pest till Paul told him if it carried on he would tell his wife,they both not on here anymore or the other site we are on x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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blame it on single guys.
blame it on the bi guys.
blame it on profiles with no pics.
married guys.
they will be tw's.
and defo barebackers.
oops seriously, would defo cease all contact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In 10 years I have never found this to be a problem, if someone so much as mentions "would love to meet you on your own sometime" my partner is very quick and very sharp in making it clear that it will never happen and that they are offended by the question, very quick and very sharp but not as nicely as I have put it. From then on it would be "nodding base only" at clubs, any attempt to strike up a conversation would be terminated politely but quickly.
As Sasha doesn't use Fab and we don't have MSN the only contact would be to me through the net.
I have had the reverse when I used to be single and played with couples in 3somes but as above made it clear instantly that I would not meet without her partners consent and ended all association with the couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Expanding that into general not personal experience, the whole act of swinging is about trust and love, you have to love your partner to allow him or her to play with others without any hint of jealousy.
As your partner can virtually play with whoever they want with your consent and blessing there really is no need to (as the OP puts it) do something behind your partners back.
Why cheat when all you have to do is say to your partner "I would love to play with him or her"
If your partner isn't happy for you to play with a certain person or couple, swingers tend to move on to the next person they fancy.
Swinging is fun it is never worth losing a relationship over |
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"there is another prob in that they use the same club as i found the other evening walking almost straight into them..."
Next time you see them both, ask the offending half to stop pestering you and tell them ‘it’s never going to happen’. Now if that throws a spanner in the gearbox of their relationship that’s tough, it is not your responsibility, you’ll be doing one of them a favour and the rest of the swinging community. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Ours is a bit different as we don't look for couples anyway........but I was pestered by a man we had met before to meet alone with him.
I refused and the second meet we had arranged was cancelled.
We let him into our play and then he showed he had no respect for my OH by trying to go behind his back. For me I was insulted that he thought I might say yes.
What some people don't realise is, the thrill for most couples is seeing your other half enjoying themselves, how would you see that if you played alone. Playing alone with anyone wouldn't be my turn on. The only one to one I would ever have is with my OH.
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"how would you deal with being pestered/pursued by one half of a couple you've met?"
Simple really break all contact.cos its only going to lead to lots of trouble.an having been cheated on myself.i would never knowningly put somebody through that.cos it kinda hurts a bit.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is another situation worth discussing .....
With a previous partner we once went to a club, we chatted with a couple we had known for some time but had never played with, The female partner worked at the club though did get some time off during her shift to join her partner at some stage to play.
We all agreed to get together at some time in the evening and find a room.
An hour or so later I was with my partner in the jacuzzi and the male half of our couple friends joined us and the 3 of us had a bit of soft play, decided to go to the bar and get a drink leaving them to have some fun.
At the bar the female half asked where her partner was and I told her he was in the jacuzzi having a little fun with my partner, we had both assumed that he wouldn't have started playing knowing his wife would dissaprove, we were wrong, she through a wobbly and stormed off to get him.
After that they blanked us on all future visits to the club, we did feel a bit aggrevied and dissapointed, in our eyes we had done nothing wrong, at that time we believed that, as adults, and with his wife on the premises he would only do what they had agreed to do, we did not think for one moment that we needed to check with her or him if it was ok for him to play on his own, surely we thought, that was his own responsibility to follow thier rules.
We did learn from this and now check when similar circumstances occur. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had that tried to brake the ties but would not stop so had to end up telling the other half, then she said it was all my fault I had made all the moves and made him want me lmfao not in my life time, so sad to say I will not ever do cpl's again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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yeah we get it all the time always the female of the cple asking to meet with us of course we say yes str8 away i mean whos gonna knock a 3sum back with another girl we have loads of fun lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bloody hell, this really goes on?
I've been trying to give mine away for ages, no bloody takers though. lol 
didn't that Ebay auction work out for the best then?
"
No, would've cost me more in packaging. |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
staffs |
Thank you for your comments, to my mind what you have said makes perfect sense, of course there are always those who like to here what their partners have been upto but that's with their knowledge.
This is some what different!
John |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good to see a serious question been asked on here for a change that's not been turned into a hanging at dawn for the OP!!
Never been in that situation really, although a couple of guys on here (one as part of a couple and one as a single male) asked Jo to meet without my knowledge.
Funnily enough, the single guy in question Jo had actually said she wouldn't mind meeting him alone, and I gave consent for that... But before it was discussed with him he tried it on. His loss! Hardly talk to any of them now, swinging is all about trust... Did they really think Jo wouldn't tell me?
S.
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
I've never had it happen to me (Madchick) - all the guys we've met have had far too much respect, but Jason gets it all the time.
He gets propositioned when I'm there, when the other women think I'm out of earshot (ears like a bat me, I hear everything), behind my back, they've tried to get his mobile number and they even resorted to trying to sneak him off behind their OH's back as well as mine.
The worst......... the one that told ME, she was in love with him!
Big part of the reason we are not swinging any more.
Easiest way to deal with it..... break off all contact! |
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"Good to see a serious question been asked on here for a change that's not been turned into a hanging at dawn for the OP!!
"
well some one has to do it so here goes...
is he just fishing for replies where the couples suggest the fem does meet alone and.. if they post so on this thread...
will the OP be bombarding their inbox??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If some blokes wife wants to fuck and not tell him its not my call to tell her its wrong. I will happily fuck her and keep quiet. Why not if i am havin fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If some blokes wife wants to fuck and not tell him its not my call to tell her its wrong. I will happily fuck her and keep quiet. Why not if i am havin fun."
y'know advertising in the forums that you lie in your profile (mutual respect it says) is probably not the best way to get yourself more meets  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i remember a few years ago when i was with the ex we met a couple and all played but the female half wasnt very comfy with it all, they was a newish couple and he had swung for many years but she was new to it all so they decided to stop swinging, anyway i kept getting messages from the guy asking if i would meet him in private, i said no and if he carried on i would email all his messages to his girlfriend, i was not sure what to do as i felt if i said something he would turn it on me so the ex had a word with him told him if it didnt stop we would tell his other half, next thing i knew she was calling me up saying he had told her i was trying to get him to meet, he had obviously took the attitude if he got in their first with his version of the story he wouldnt come out the bad guy, and even tho i tried to explain the situation she wouldnt have it and i turned out the bad guy in it all, so sometimes you cant do right for doing wrong, tho they did split up in the end because she found out he was seeing women behind her back   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If some blokes wife wants to fuck and not tell him its not my call to tell her its wrong. I will happily fuck her and keep quiet. Why not if i am havin fun."
What if it was a couple you had met, a couple you had gone for a drink with and regarded as 'friends' within the swinging world, if it was a couple that had invited you into their home and the guy had shared his wife with you, would you still think....fuck you m8 so long as im getting laid?
not a criticism by the way just wondering if this 'i dont care' attitude would still apply if you actually knew they guy that was being cheated on?
Because to me swinging is about open and honesty and mutual respect for people, i dont see this site or any other as a quick shag site, i can get that down the pub |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If some blokes wife wants to fuck and not tell him its not my call to tell her its wrong. I will happily fuck her and keep quiet. Why not if i am havin fun.
y'know advertising in the forums that you lie in your profile (mutual respect it says) is probably not the best way to get yourself more meets "
It also says on my profile i am looking for women not couples. If some bird wants some extras i am not going to say no if she looks half decent. As for her old man well i dont give a fuck as i am not interested in him. The woman i give the same respect as i want my self. At least i am saying what i do not spouting BS. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If some blokes wife wants to fuck and not tell him its not my call to tell her its wrong. I will happily fuck her and keep quiet. Why not if i am havin fun.
What if it was a couple you had met, a couple you had gone for a drink with and regarded as 'friends' within the swinging world, if it was a couple that had invited you into their home and the guy had shared his wife with you, would you still think....fuck you m8 so long as im getting laid?
not a criticism by the way just wondering if this 'i dont care' attitude would still apply if you actually knew they guy that was being cheated on?
Because to me swinging is about open and honesty and mutual respect for people, i dont see this site or any other as a quick shag site, i can get that down the pub"
What if i won the lottery would i share it with the guy who once cleaned my windows?
Well i dont do the lottery so that one is a non event as i don't meet couples so i wouldn't drop into your what if thing.
I dont come here to find friends to go on holiday or pals for life i come here to have fun. Have a go if you like but i am honest which is as sight more than half the people on here are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If some blokes wife wants to fuck and not tell him its not my call to tell her its wrong. I will happily fuck her and keep quiet. Why not if i am havin fun.
What if it was a couple you had met, a couple you had gone for a drink with and regarded as 'friends' within the swinging world, if it was a couple that had invited you into their home and the guy had shared his wife with you, would you still think....fuck you m8 so long as im getting laid?
not a criticism by the way just wondering if this 'i dont care' attitude would still apply if you actually knew they guy that was being cheated on?
Because to me swinging is about open and honesty and mutual respect for people, i dont see this site or any other as a quick shag site, i can get that down the pub
What if i won the lottery would i share it with the guy who once cleaned my windows?
Well i dont do the lottery so that one is a non event as i don't meet couples so i wouldn't drop into your what if thing.
I dont come here to find friends to go on holiday or pals for life i come here to have fun. Have a go if you like but i am honest which is as sight more than half the people on here are."
You are not honest you are a liar, you lie in your profile saying you will show respect and you admit here that you would lie to someone's partner just to get a shag.
Your not a swinger since swinging is a lifestyle that incorporates honesty |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If some blokes wife wants to fuck and not tell him its not my call to tell her its wrong. I will happily fuck her and keep quiet. Why not if i am havin fun.
What if it was a couple you had met, a couple you had gone for a drink with and regarded as 'friends' within the swinging world, if it was a couple that had invited you into their home and the guy had shared his wife with you, would you still think....fuck you m8 so long as im getting laid?
not a criticism by the way just wondering if this 'i dont care' attitude would still apply if you actually knew they guy that was being cheated on?
Because to me swinging is about open and honesty and mutual respect for people, i dont see this site or any other as a quick shag site, i can get that down the pub
What if i won the lottery would i share it with the guy who once cleaned my windows?
Well i dont do the lottery so that one is a non event as i don't meet couples so i wouldn't drop into your what if thing.
I dont come here to find friends to go on holiday or pals for life i come here to have fun. Have a go if you like but i am honest which is as sight more than half the people on here are.
You are not honest you are a liar, you lie in your profile saying you will show respect and you admit here that you would lie to someone's partner just to get a shag.
Your not a swinger since swinging is a lifestyle that incorporates honesty"
You don't know me from Adam old man so less of your lie shit. I am a sight more honest than most and just because i would hump your bird and not give a care about you has got your back up. Live with it thats how life works. Maybe just maybe i am a sight more honest than you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If some blokes wife wants to fuck and not tell him its not my call to tell her its wrong. I will happily fuck her and keep quiet. Why not if i am havin fun.
What if it was a couple you had met, a couple you had gone for a drink with and regarded as 'friends' within the swinging world, if it was a couple that had invited you into their home and the guy had shared his wife with you, would you still think....fuck you m8 so long as im getting laid?
not a criticism by the way just wondering if this 'i dont care' attitude would still apply if you actually knew they guy that was being cheated on?
Because to me swinging is about open and honesty and mutual respect for people, i dont see this site or any other as a quick shag site, i can get that down the pub
What if i won the lottery would i share it with the guy who once cleaned my windows?
Well i dont do the lottery so that one is a non event as i don't meet couples so i wouldn't drop into your what if thing.
I dont come here to find friends to go on holiday or pals for life i come here to have fun. Have a go if you like but i am honest which is as sight more than half the people on here are."
i wasnt having a go i was just asking a question, i dont meet couples either so i wouldnt drop into that what if thing, what other people do is none of my buisness but its a open forum for people question and opinions so i was just putting my two pence worth in lol
ok i'll shut up now and go back to lady wanking least i stay outa trouble that way lmao |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You don't know me from Adam old man so less of your lie shit. I am a sight more honest than most and just because i would hump your bird and not give a care about you has got your back up. Live with it thats how life works. Maybe just maybe i am a sight more honest than you!"
Actually you wouldn't hump my bird as she wouldn't come anywhere near you or your lies.
Retorting to abuse says more about you than it does about me and I certainly won't respond with abuse back because I don't get my back over matters of insignificance.
True we only know what you choose to tell us about yourself which is why we all know your a liar, you told us with what you wrote on your profile and what you wrote here.
XX a happy old man  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If some blokes wife wants to fuck and not tell him its not my call to tell her its wrong. I will happily fuck her and keep quiet. Why not if i am havin fun.
What if it was a couple you had met, a couple you had gone for a drink with and regarded as 'friends' within the swinging world, if it was a couple that had invited you into their home and the guy had shared his wife with you, would you still think....fuck you m8 so long as im getting laid?
not a criticism by the way just wondering if this 'i dont care' attitude would still apply if you actually knew they guy that was being cheated on?
Because to me swinging is about open and honesty and mutual respect for people, i dont see this site or any other as a quick shag site, i can get that down the pub
What if i won the lottery would i share it with the guy who once cleaned my windows?
Well i dont do the lottery so that one is a non event as i don't meet couples so i wouldn't drop into your what if thing.
I dont come here to find friends to go on holiday or pals for life i come here to have fun. Have a go if you like but i am honest which is as sight more than half the people on here are.
i wasnt having a go i was just asking a question, i dont meet couples either so i wouldnt drop into that what if thing, what other people do is none of my buisness but its a open forum for people question and opinions so i was just putting my two pence worth in lol
ok i'll shut up now and go back to lady wanking least i stay outa trouble that way lmao "
Just answering how it is for me and no offence taken. I dont meet couples like you. If they are cheating its their affair not mine. I am not running a confessional box. I will respect the woman because that is who i am playing with but if she has a partner i just don't care one way or another. It might not be a popular view but i am honest and i bet i am not the only one who thinks like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In that post you say you are not here to make friends yet in your profile you say "purely here to make friends"
I refer the honourable gentleman to the statement I made earlier - your a liar
Bored with this one now will not be responding to you anymore
Have fun in the swinging lifestyle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You don't know me from Adam old man so less of your lie shit. I am a sight more honest than most and just because i would hump your bird and not give a care about you has got your back up. Live with it thats how life works. Maybe just maybe i am a sight more honest than you!
Actually you wouldn't hump my bird as she wouldn't come anywhere near you or your lies.
Retorting to abuse says more about you than it does about me and I certainly won't respond with abuse back because I don't get my back over matters of insignificance.
True we only know what you choose to tell us about yourself which is why we all know your a liar, you told us with what you wrote on your profile and what you wrote here.
XX a happy old man "
Cor your a big kid and some. You go on about abuse and you call someone a liar which is abuse its self. Get your self a dog collar and a pulpit if you want to preach. As for your bird, well if she is cheating which is what the thread is about your not going to know are you! You know nothing about me and unlikely to as i am pretty fussy so turn your neck in and grow up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
You don't know me from Adam old man so less of your lie shit. I am a sight more honest than most and just because i would hump your bird and not give a care about you has got your back up. Live with it thats how life works. Maybe just maybe i am a sight more honest than you!
Actually you wouldn't hump my bird as she wouldn't come anywhere near you or your lies.
Retorting to abuse says more about you than it does about me and I certainly won't respond with abuse back because I don't get my back over matters of insignificance.
True we only know what you choose to tell us about yourself which is why we all know your a liar, you told us with what you wrote on your profile and what you wrote here.
XX a happy old man
Cor your a big kid and some. You go on about abuse and you call someone a liar which is abuse its self. Get your self a dog collar and a pulpit if you want to preach. As for your bird, well if she is cheating which is what the thread is about your not going to know are you! You know nothing about me and unlikely to as i am pretty fussy so turn your neck in and grow up."
Nice attempt at having the last word. Love the fact your so keen to study a scant few words on my profile and think you know everything about me.
Shock for you old guy but i can change my mind like everyone from one minute to the next. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Just answering how it is for me and no offence taken. I dont meet couples like you. If they are cheating its their affair not mine. I am not running a confessional box. I will respect the woman because that is who i am playing with but if she has a partner i just don't care one way or another. It might not be a popular view but i am honest and i bet i am not the only one who thinks like that."
no of course your not there are loads of couples that would happily meet women behind their partners back in order to get their FFM, to be honest if someone cheats on their partner they havnt got a marrage worth anything anyway, im not saying its ok to cheat but meeting someone who is cheating does not make you a marrage wrecker because their marrage is wrecked anyway or they wouldnt be cheating
Again only my two pence worth lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Just answering how it is for me and no offence taken. I dont meet couples like you. If they are cheating its their affair not mine. I am not running a confessional box. I will respect the woman because that is who i am playing with but if she has a partner i just don't care one way or another. It might not be a popular view but i am honest and i bet i am not the only one who thinks like that.
no of course your not there are loads of couples that would happily meet women behind their partners back in order to get their FFM, to be honest if someone cheats on their partner they havnt got a marrage worth anything anyway, im not saying its ok to cheat but meeting someone who is cheating does not make you a marrage wrecker because their marrage is wrecked anyway or they wouldnt be cheating
Again only my two pence worth
lol"
Hear, hear. |
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By *john121 OP Man
over a year ago
staffs |
well now what has this has shown me?
firstly, this is an emotive subject with some diverse thoughts on how to deal with the question. not a bad thing as open discussions are good.
secondly, it shows me just how much trust there should be between couples if both parties are fully committed to the lifestyle/pass time.
and thirdly, how little regard we can have for others to get our end away! it takes to to tango! so it shows that either party might stray, after all this is probably the perfect environment for this to happen and lets face it it does and will as I have learned.
none of us know what or who is around the corner. so you keep faith in your belief of the trust you share as a couple.
I take my hat of to these couples and personally if you are thinking of meeting behind your partners back, that's either of you, you should think do you want to give up what you've got because at some point once the excitement has worn off you'll I'm sure comedown with an all mighty bump and have to decide who gets custody of the dog,which would be a shame.
still it will happen...
now please be upstanding for hymn number 32 all things bright......
didn't mean to give a sermon but I did ask the question.
I for my part will not be meeting anyone behind their partners back because if they tell me they aren't then I shall continue to trust them...
What else can we do?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Just answering how it is for me and no offence taken. I dont meet couples like you. If they are cheating its their affair not mine. I am not running a confessional box. I will respect the woman because that is who i am playing with but if she has a partner i just don't care one way or another. It might not be a popular view but i am honest and i bet i am not the only one who thinks like that.
no of course your not there are loads of couples that would happily meet women behind their partners back in order to get their FFM, to be honest if someone cheats on their partner they havnt got a marrage worth anything anyway, im not saying its ok to cheat but meeting someone who is cheating does not make you a marrage wrecker because their marrage is wrecked anyway or they wouldnt be cheating
Again only my two pence worth lol"
I agree, but then I wouldn't like to be one of those cogs that splits a family.
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We welcome single bi-guys but we also specify they MUST be single. To a large extent we have to take their word for it but if we get the slightest suspicion they are betraying someone we would drop them quicker than a hot coal.
I would totally agree with the comment that its just not worth destroying a relationship for the sake of a shag, I would also say it’s the ultimate act of disrespect not to mention the fact that it can result in life long psychological damage to a wife/husband and maybe children too.
Now this is all very easy for me to say now at this time of my life but 30 years ago I had different opinions. I would liken betrayal of this nature to an addiction such as alcoholism or smoking, the thing is, if someone wants something bad enough they will always justify it, rightly or wrongly in their OWN mind at the time.
We often hear from guys who admit they are married but ‘The wife isn’t interested in sex but I still have my sexual needs’ and so for them, that is the justification. The couple that the OP has the issue with, he/she will also be justifying their intended action for their own reason one way or another.
As a species we are by instinct promiscuous but society and its morals effectively forces people to live in a way that is in fact un-natural. So it could be said that Swingers are simply living in a more natural fashion for the species. |
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