FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Regulars v/s one offs
Regulars v/s one offs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If men are looking for one offs, then why don't they say that at the time? I am looking for a regular NSA thing and state this on my profile. I met a guy who said he was interested in the same and now he's just being ignorant.
What is it about men that means they have to lie when their dick is involved? |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"If men are looking for one offs, then why don't they say that at the time? I am looking for a regular NSA thing and state this on my profile. I met a guy who said he was interested in the same and now he's just being ignorant.
What is it about men that means they have to lie when their dick is involved?"
I am sure there are women and couples on and off here too that aren't always upfront and truthful!  |
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This is a difficult one, i much prefer regular meets and when im chatting to a guy i mention it although one offs are ok. Now the thing is you could both be looking for regular fun but for what ever reason after the first meet you may not want to see them again. Not so much a lie but not compatable. Or even before you meet there may be other reasons involved |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"If men are looking for one offs, then why don't they say that at the time? I am looking for a regular NSA thing and state this on my profile. I met a guy who said he was interested in the same and now he's just being ignorant.
What is it about men that means they have to lie when their dick is involved?
I am sure there are women and couples on and off here too that aren't always upfront and truthful! "
thank you!!!! I was just about to say that this isn't just a man thing.... women are as guilty with regards to this. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I completely accept that after an initial meet someone might not want to meet again. But then when there's just ignorance and not even a 'thanks but no thanks again' which would be fine, it's just rude IMHO. |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
Yes a rude end to the meet or contact from after the meet isnt good especially if you have specified regular meets.
Totally agree that you can meet someone and be looking for a regular meet then it not just hit the right spot for a variety of the reasons. I have met many men(cough) and only a certain amount would meet them again as it hasnt all worked for us both or from my point of view although he may want a regular meet.
Regular meets I feel need to be decided probably only after the meet as have had meets and really felt good chemistry before the meet and then the meet has happened and it has fallen flat from my point. Obviously I dont know exactly from his point of view as I think it is really hard to say to someone sorry but it really didnt work for me at all and guess we are all economical with the truth if its bad news to give.
Hope you find your regular meet tho xx |
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"I completely accept that after an initial meet someone might not want to meet again. But then when there's just ignorance and not even a 'thanks but no thanks again' which would be fine, it's just rude IMHO. "
just go with the flow in my opinon - enjoy the fun at the time, if they want more, great, if they dont then moe on to the next one!!
i have a group of guys that i see regularly (not all at once sadly  ) but then i also have the one off's to fil the gaps  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
We decide and I am sure our meets decide after the first meet wether to meet again........I don't think you can promise anything beforehand.
Maybe he doesn't want to meet you again and is not sure what your reaction will be if he tells you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I completely accept that after an initial meet someone might not want to meet again. But then when there's just ignorance and not even a 'thanks but no thanks again' which would be fine, it's just rude IMHO.
i have a group of guys that i see regularly (not all at once sadly ) but then i also have the one off's to fil the gaps "
envy lol  |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"We decide and I am sure our meets decide after the first meet wether to meet again........I don't think you can promise anything beforehand.
Maybe he doesn't want to meet you again and is not sure what your reaction will be if he tells you."
He might be worried that the reaction might be to come onto the forums and tell us all about how ignorant he has now become! |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"I'm not mentioning any names am I?!!! I was just asking!"
Nope you are not and never said you were but I bet if he reads this he will be able to recognise it is him you are talking about and he might come in to put his side to the 3 sided story
Just my tuppence worth, as always!  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I'm not mentioning any names am I?!!! I was just asking!"
No, but when the man turns up to defend himself it normally starts all out wars and threads have to be stopped and people complain.
The point that is being made though is........a man meets you, he then doesn't get in touch......you then complain on a forum about him. Maybe he hasn't told you he doesn't want to meet you again as he was scared of your reaction, and as you started this thread complaining, then maybe he has a point.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm not complaining. I'm genuinely asking a question. I'm someone who says what I mean and means what I say. If I didn't want to see someone again, I'd just say that. What's so hard about that?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont even think she said 'a' man so no one man could be offended by that.
It's true they exist though, but you can pretty much identify them quickly...they're usually the ones that want to rush to rush into a meet.
the ones that take their time knowing you are usually the returners
both have their benefits, for example, if you know it's a one off you can eat garlic that night and stuff waxing |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"
I am sure there are women and couples on and off here too that aren't always upfront and truthful!
thank you!!!! I was just about to say that this isn't just a man thing.... women are as guilty with regards to this."
Come down off of that high horse! The op was not generalising but was talking about a specific meet that she had! Why do single guys have to make it all about an "us and them" situation. The op meets single guys ffs!!!
Also, all this "he may read the forum" stuff... The op never said he was on this site! But if he is, does that mean we can't post anything about stuff that happens? God this would be boring!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it does happen alot that people are too shy and their nerves get the better of them so say one thing and really mean another so not to disappiont any one |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"
I am sure there are women and couples on and off here too that aren't always upfront and truthful!
thank you!!!! I was just about to say that this isn't just a man thing.... women are as guilty with regards to this.
Come down off of that high horse! The op was not generalising but was talking about a specific meet that she had! Why do single guys have to make it all about an "us and them" situation. The op meets single guys ffs!!!
Also, all this "he may read the forum" stuff... The op never said he was on this site! But if he is, does that mean we can't post anything about stuff that happens? God this would be boring! "
This sort of sums it up -
"What is it about men that means they have to lie when their dick is involved?"
And he would have to be on the site to have said he wanted the same things as she had said she wanted on her profile
It's great being on a high horse, you get to see others who are up on one too eye to eye! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We decide and I am sure our meets decide after the first meet wether to meet again........I don't think you can promise anything beforehand.
Maybe he doesn't want to meet you again and is not sure what your reaction will be if he tells you."
Agree: that's the way I do it.
I also agree with your conclusion: some people will always try and avoid confrontation. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"
Come down off of that high horse! The op was not generalising but was talking about a specific meet that she had! Why do single guys have to make it all about an "us and them" situation. The op meets single guys ffs!!!
Also, all this "he may read the forum" stuff... The op never said he was on this site! But if he is, does that mean we can't post anything about stuff that happens? God this would be boring! "
It might be boring to you, but it would be called respecting other users.....plus not causing all out wars when people see they are being called ignorant and liars on a forum. |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"I'm not complaining. I'm genuinely asking a question. I'm someone who says what I mean and means what I say. If I didn't want to see someone again, I'd just say that. What's so hard about that?!"
Trouble is, regular meets have to have a modicum of emotional and familiarity about them.
A meet takes place and is fine, but at the end of it, both people have to decided if they want to have emotion/familiarity, need it in their life, if it is worth the hassle .... or whether to just shag and run.
We very very rarely meet more than once, we don't want any kind of emotion or familiarity from our meets....... we get that from our friends.... who we don't shag.
But thats just us, and yes, we've met people who want 'regular' fun, but we are honest from the outset..... we don't do it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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one of my first meets from here we still see each other maybe once, twice a month we both were honest from the start what we wanted!
but there are some guys who will tell you anythin to get into your knickers there no way of denyin it!! but you live and you learn!
sometimes you just need to face it he wasnt that into you and not got the balls to say it! but for every guy that is excuse the pun, a dick there are some nice ones! and someone who is lookin for the same xx |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"
This sort of sums it up -
"What is it about men that means they have to lie when their dick is involved?"
And he would have to be on the site to have said he wanted the same things as she had said she wanted on her profile
It's great being on a high horse, you get to see others who are up on one too eye to eye! "
It says "What is it about men" not single men! And as we all know, men will lie to get a shag! Whether they are in a couple or singles makes no difference.
On your second point, I said..
"The op never said he was on this site! But if he is, does that mean we can't post anything about stuff that happens?"
So, that second point of yours is way off base! All I was pointing out was that if we can't post something about our experiences, quite a few posts break your rules!
Despite all that, my main point was that the OP meets single guys! She was talking about that one single guy and her experience. She was there and if the guy wants to defend his position he can. Quite why two single guys felt the need to type a defence I don't know
But I am off to bed now... Too late for all this debating! I am off to debate my OH!! |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"
Come down off of that high horse! The op was not generalising but was talking about a specific meet that she had! Why do single guys have to make it all about an "us and them" situation. The op meets single guys ffs!!!
Also, all this "he may read the forum" stuff... The op never said he was on this site! But if he is, does that mean we can't post anything about stuff that happens? God this would be boring!
It might be boring to you, but it would be called respecting other users.....plus not causing all out wars when people see they are being called ignorant and liars on a forum."
Hey Rugby
Wasn't suggesting that we all should be able to post what we like. Just trying to point out that there was no need in this instance to defend the single guy position.
Having said that, I do happen to agree with the view that this is perhaps a bit too specific. It could have been typed in more generalsied terms and a question, like
Suppose you didn't like one night stands, would you be upset if a guy didn't want to meet again, despite the meet going well?
Would have got a better response from all and would have answered the question.
Well, I am off to the confessional...
Forgive me father, for I have sinned..... (actually, that has given me an idea!)  |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"
This sort of sums it up -
"What is it about men that means they have to lie when their dick is involved?"
And he would have to be on the site to have said he wanted the same things as she had said she wanted on her profile
It's great being on a high horse, you get to see others who are up on one too eye to eye!
It says "What is it about men" not single men! And as we all know, men will lie to get a shag! Whether they are in a couple or singles makes no difference.
On your second point, I said..
"The op never said he was on this site! But if he is, does that mean we can't post anything about stuff that happens?"
So, that second point of yours is way off base! All I was pointing out was that if we can't post something about our experiences, quite a few posts break your rules!
Despite all that, my main point was that the OP meets single guys! She was talking about that one single guy and her experience. She was there and if the guy wants to defend his position he can. Quite why two single guys felt the need to type a defence I don't know
But I am off to bed now... Too late for all this debating! I am off to debate my OH!! "
It wasn't a defence it was my opinion, there is a difference!
They aren't my rules and don't think I said she had broken any of the posting rules anyway. If she had, I doubt the thread would still be here for any of us to add to!
I am not really interested in your point that the OP meets single males or not as I wasn't answering in this thread to get a meet with her (no offence meant to the OP there) I was giving my point of view!
Good luck "debating" the OH, again no offence meant but I am happy being a single bloke with no OH (like you do) to have to "debate" anymore, variety is the spice of life. |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"BB430... Take a look at my post in the lounge matey... And my appologies!! "
I have seen it already and apology accepted
I never try to play devil's advocate, I always just say it like I see it, it's much simpler that way because you never need to defend a position/view you don't agree with for the sake of arguement.
Live and let live here! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't you think that swinging implies no strings attached sex, and that by attaching 'strings' such as expecting a regular meet, then it ceases to be called swinging and moves into the relationship realm?
And remember, expectations often become frustrations, and that leads to disappointments.
I think the Buddha said that!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"it does happen alot that people are too shy and their nerves get the better of them so say one thing and really mean another so not to disappiont any one"
here here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If men are looking for one offs, then why don't they say that at the time? I am looking for a regular NSA thing and state this on my profile. I met a guy who said he was interested in the same and now he's just being ignorant.
What is it about men that means they have to lie when their dick is involved?"
maybe they meet with the intentions of having regular fun, but after meeting decided you wasnt for them and didnt want to meet again
After all you cant say your going to meet someone regular untill you have met them and know you like them |
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not too hard, i had wink from lady which went to possible meet saw my pictures on profile thought i was ok sent her my face pic out of courtesy, and very glad she suddenly took dislike to men with beards!
I was new it was my first response but i really didn't want to meet her!
thank god for the beard!
and by the way all professional and upfront now!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If men are looking for one offs, then why don't they say that at the time? I am looking for a regular NSA thing and state this on my profile. I met a guy who said he was interested in the same and now he's just being ignorant.
What is it about men that means they have to lie when their dick is involved?"
I prefer reg meets, but if you meet someone and you dont 'click' as such then I tend not to see them again, swinging can be very fickle iam afraid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The guy might be scared of getting "too attached".
You should know by now that some people will promise you everything just to get a meet, so just imagine the porkies you will get if there is a chance of a shag?
Don't feel too bad about it, just put it down to experience and look forward |
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