FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What is wrong.....
What is wrong.....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guys, can any of you help me out please? I've been a member on here for about 4 mths now and not managed to find any one willing to meet. I don't send mails to every profile I look at and don't send pro forma messages out, but about 99% of the time they are either deleted straight away or read and ignored. I also include my face picture.
I'm married but playing on my own (with partners permission although I understand that is going to be ignored as a lie) and not withstanding that I’m not the best looking guy in the world, I wondered if there was anything I should/could do to help my chances.
Any help/guidance is appreciated
Thanks in advance
Kevin
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hi kevin ,, i know it probably seems a lifetime but 4 months isnt a huge amount of time really .
the forums are a great way to get to know a few more people so maybe have a nose through some of the threads and jump in now and again.
Or get along to one of the socials in this part of the world that are coming up. Theres one being organised in Essex and one just across the river in Kent too ..both in the next couple of months.
good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to be on this site as couple with my wife, and was forever getting random friend invites, winks and the odd message. But since putting profile as single guy, same problem, best just going to swinging club, alot less messing around and more fun. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"mind you ...i think the worst problem is that you appear to support a team which plays in red !! 
We agree we aint having no reds in this house its the mighty whites all the way here lol
Steve  "
Leeds had a great result but any team in Red will put people off 
C'mon the Chelsea |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"mind you ...i think the worst problem is that you appear to support a team which plays in red !!
We agree we aint having no reds in this house its the mighty whites all the way here lol
Steve "
Then I really do have a problem as I'm claret and blue!!
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"Then I really do have a problem as I'm claret and blue!!
"
Hammers or Villains...?
Hopefully the latter, although the former is one of those clubs I don't mind... unlike ManYou. Or the Pool. Or the Arsenal. |
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One of the first things salespeople are taught is to make themselves as un-rejectable as possible. That means a sensible suit and tie, no cartoon socks, no visible tattoos or pierced ears, no club, society or fitba' related badges or rings or cufflinks and so on. Nothing to give the MAN a reason to reject your sales pitch (profile).
By 1) being married, 2) unable to accommodate and 3) affiliated to a particular soccer team you've given potential meets a number of reasons to look elsewhere.
This place, as has been said before, is about supply and demand. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One of the first things salespeople are taught is to make themselves as un-rejectable as possible. That means a sensible suit and tie, no cartoon socks, no visible tattoos or pierced ears, no club, society or fitba' related badges or rings or cufflinks and so on. Nothing to give the MAN a reason to reject your sales pitch (profile).
By 1) being married, 2) unable to accommodate and 3) affiliated to a particular soccer team you've given potential meets a number of reasons to look elsewhere.
This place, as has been said before, is about supply and demand. "
He he my profiles got no chance then pmsl xx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think your best bet is to get in the chat room and start talking to people.
Then its a case of people get to know you.
It does take a while to get meets not just for single blokes.
As said before be paitent and dont be pushy xxxxx
(we are claret and blue too not that we are doing very well at the mo lol)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think your best bet is to get in the chat room and start talking to people.
Then its a case of people get to know you.
It does take a while to get meets not just for single blokes.
As said before be paitent and dont be pushy xxxxx
(we are claret and blue too not that we are doing very well at the mo lol) "
tried to use the chat room all i see is abuse stop directing etc where as i wasnt
so i stick to the forums mainly safer |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Think your best bet is to get in the chat room and start talking to people.
Then its a case of people get to know you.
It does take a while to get meets not just for single blokes.
As said before be paitent and dont be pushy xxxxx
(we are claret and blue too not that we are doing very well at the mo lol) "
Indeed it's all a bit depressing in the East End. And to make matters worse, I'm surronded by Spurs at work, and you can imagine what they have to say! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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honestly i wont profess to having all the answers to anything and can only really say what has been said already . you get out what you put in really . chat is a cracking non pushy way to get to know people better and have a laugh , keeping an eye on the forums and genuinely trying to help others in my opnion also helps . yes the married thing will put a lot of folk off but at least your honest about it , and your wife knows and is ok with it . football ? hmmm no comment from me on that one , im with the rugby folk on that one , but i really dont think your preference of sport should really make a difference . what about changing the picture away from a sport type one , to give a better impression of what your like ? bearing in mind this is only my suggestion and might not actually help at all . 4 months is not that long iv been on here before and left for a bit then came back all in all i reckon i been on here about a year and iv met a few cracking people and couples some of whom are unfortunately not here now , but just keep being honest and reading those profiles and it will happen all the best . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As you've been on the site before you know couples mostly meet other couples and single fems. There are hundreds of single men to choose from and as couples play together, I get the impression from previous forum posts married men cheating on their wives dont really stand much of a chance, and us single gals cant be dealing with the hassle! |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
You are:
1. Married
2. Bi
3. Unable to accommodate
4. Talking football.
It is going to be far harder for you than an unattached, straight, accommodating male who can talk shoes to a woman.
You have wiped out a large percentage of the females and couples......... but... don't give up. Good things come to those who wait.
You just have to accept it may take some time. |
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If you're echoing Sukair's request for help/ advice - comments might include 1) being unable to accommodate 2) the unneccessary use of CAPITALS in your profile 3) the inclusion of the wholly pointless warning about use of your pics and 4) the use of the word 'professional' which, even though you've mastered the spelling, is still widely ridiculed hereabouts. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Guys, can any of you help me out please? I've been a member on here for about 4 mths now and not managed to find any one willing to meet. I don't send mails to every profile I look at and don't send pro forma messages out, but about 99% of the time they are either deleted straight away or read and ignored. I also include my face picture.
I'm married but playing on my own (with partners permission although I understand that is going to be ignored as a lie) and not withstanding that I’m not the best looking guy in the world, I wondered if there was anything I should/could do to help my chances.
Any help/guidance is appreciated
Thanks in advance
Kevin
"
I have been in the scene for 5 yrs.... but it took me best part of 6-7 months to get my first meet..... so the first thing I say to anyone is just because people happen to "swing" it doesn't mean they will swing with anyone... just means people tend to know what they want....
you get out what you put in...
do you go into the chatroom and just chat?
do you go to socials and just socialise with people?
If you say you are married but you have partners permission, then let them speak to partner who obviously won't mind then.
there is no generic formula over what does and doesn't work... but you don't say anything about yourself in your profile...and you don't say anything about the type of people you are after either....
its the little details they say to people.. yes this is the person I want to meet..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're echoing Sukair's request for help/ advice - comments might include 1) being unable to accommodate 2) the unneccessary use of CAPITALS in your profile 3) the inclusion of the wholly pointless warning about use of your pics and 4) the use of the word 'professional' which, even though you've mastered the spelling, is still widely ridiculed hereabouts."
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IMHO, this gent's profile has "desparate" written allover it, sorry!
That's just my own opinion.  |
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mate i feel it for you, too many does and donts on here its not just a case of being yourself and honest on here cus people will think your telling porkys anyway. Bottom line its hard on here being single makes you feel like some pest messaging people who more than likely just gonna delete your message and not even say no thanks at the very least.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I updated my profile yesterday to include the bit about not replying to unsolicited messages, yet, I still get them, and they still expect me to reply! So I can't win either!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To the OP,
There isn't really anything "special" and eye catching to your profile. For single men, its a very big pond on Fab and (IMHO) you really need to have something that makes you stand out from the rest of the men.
More pics, and a bit more a description wouldn't go a miss.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I updated my profile yesterday to include the bit about not replying to unsolicited messages, yet, I still get them, and they still expect me to reply! So I can't win either! "
Sadly Pearl nothing you write will prevent exaggerated egos from contacting you. One look at that sexy tattoo on your bum there will be those outside your preference that will want a closer look and will be offended if you dont respond with a resounding 'oh yes please'. Dam, I'm straight and I'm tempted to PM you lol x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly Pearl nothing you write will prevent exaggerated egos from contacting you. One look at that sexy tattoo on your bum there will be those outside your preference that will want a closer look and will be offended if you dont respond with a resounding 'oh yes please'. Dam, I'm straight and I'm tempted to PM you lol x"
.
PMSL!
I'd better take that tattoo pic off as avatar then! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OMG. I was just about to post the exact same post. I understand you sexy couples and girls get loads of messages but put yourselves into our shoes. Alot on here demand this and that. you know who you are. yes have a criteria but dont sound so pompous. It can be abit clicky untill someone opens the door for ya. Ive sent a few messages but only seem to get them deleted. what do people want. lets hear it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you mean no that comes in a message then you have to get a message first. I do respect ppl all the time. Im nice if ppl are nice to me. works both ways. just not even getting a reply. We dont even get a look in. |
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"
If you mean no that comes in a message then you have to get a message first. I do respect ppl all the time. Im nice if ppl are nice to me. works both ways. just not even getting a reply. We dont even get a look in."
If you're looking for a critique of your profile - 1) cannot accommodate is an issue where some are concerned, it smacks of 'something to hide'. 2) slim and athletic ain't the same thing. 3) "Wanting to join sexy couples(mf) and single girls of similar age" isn't the same as 18 to 99 (which smacks of desperation). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Get yourself along to as many social events as you can.
Get to chat and meet other like minded people.
It may open up doors to you.
Friendship is a great way of starting out in the scene for single guys |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If you mean no that comes in a message then you have to get a message first. I do respect ppl all the time. Im nice if ppl are nice to me. works both ways. just not even getting a reply. We dont even get a look in."
May I also add...the things you are looking for are not to everyone's cup of tea, and has you've not really expanded on what you like to do in your profile it will put many people off, especially if the couples have "do not do anal" on their profile but you've not bothered to read it!
Make sure you're what people are looking for as they tend to look at the profile before the message and if you dont meet what they're looking for they will delete without reading.
You HAVE to respect others wishes: if they're not interested they're not interested - move on! |
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By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago
Charlestown, Cornwall |
"If you're echoing Sukair's request for help/ advice - comments might include 1) being unable to accommodate 2) the unneccessary use of CAPITALS in your profile 3) the inclusion of the wholly pointless warning about use of your pics and 4) the use of the word 'professional' which, even though you've mastered the spelling, is still widely ridiculed hereabouts."
Thats a bit rich!,
'See you Jimmy' cannot be arsed (according to his so called profile) to even write a profile!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you're echoing Sukair's request for help/ advice - comments might include 1) being unable to accommodate 2) the unneccessary use of CAPITALS in your profile 3) the inclusion of the wholly pointless warning about use of your pics and 4) the use of the word 'professional' which, even though you've mastered the spelling, is still widely ridiculed hereabouts.
Thats a bit rich!,
'See you Jimmy' cannot be arsed (according to his so called profile) to even write a profile!!"
.
Old timers like him do not need a profile in order to impress other people! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You are:
1. Married
2. Bi
3. Unable to accommodate
4. Talking football.
It is going to be far harder for you than an unattached, straight, accommodating male who can talk shoes to a woman.
You have wiped out a large percentage of the females and couples......... but... don't give up. Good things come to those who wait.
You just have to accept it may take some time."
I was thinking exactly the same thing! reading your profile and hubby started talking footie almost immediately and i just glazed over!!!!!! |
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