FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Slut shaming still a big thing
Slut shaming still a big thing
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We all know that outside of the swinging world.. most people would judge us for not being monogamous
With Lily Phillips and Bonnie blue recently being in the news I've realised that we don't seem to be any further away from the old thoughts that women that are positive about their sexual wants and have excessive numbers of partners are instantly judged
To be fair I thought on fab and in the swing world,that while people may not want to emulate it..there would be less slut shaming.
Now I'm not talking about if we like the actual person
.. personally I think many of Bonnie blues comments are awful and if a man was targeting barely legal girls... there would be uproar
But surely be it 10, 100 or a 1000 men .... is that really a reason to think someone is disgusting ...
I know some people have issues with greedy girls... had it first hand.
Ive not done a 1000 in a day but if I thought I could get the numbers and it not become a media frenzy .. I'd give it a go...
But the comments I've seen about these two ladies both on here and across other social media platforms,I would not want to be named.
Why do people seem to assume that it will be sloppy.. ( it was safe sex for the recent event as far as I've read )
Also why do people seem to assume that the woman's vagina will be baggy and huge...?
As anyone that has had a long session will tell you that's not the case..
Should slut shaming happen on sites like this still?
Cali |
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No shame at all. Seriously what guy wouldn't love to be with a so-called " slut". What defines a slut? My wife can be very naughty in bed, is that a slut? She's had 3-4 doggers cum over her does that meen she's a slut? If so she loves being a slut and you can try and shame her... she'd laugh at you and tell you to enjoy your boring crap sex life |
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Nice to see good old double standards alive and kicking in the 21st century ?? and the old saying men want a angel but a slut in the bedroom springs to mind ? and myriad ways "Women" are labelled though and never stops either as it has got far far far worse with social media and part of it is the shame we feel about our sexual needs and what is considered normal aswell ? both male and female but mostly females get the full brunt of it just look at the mass hypocrisy of most of printed media ( the sun doing a countdown to a girls 16th birthday so then she could pose topless and then printing endless lurid stories about ???) as for the whole large/sloppy vagina thing ?? men say the same things about women who've had children and just goes to show how little some men know about a females lady parts ??? and can't remember who said it but they were roundly shoute down ( mostly by the baby jesus gang who do lead and encourage some of the slut shaming and impossible ideals for women to be ?) That no one born isn't born with out some kind of sexual kink wether society in general thinks it is or not ? and some even have more than one kink that's not considered normal ? and the huge double standards that operate today is even more mind boggling and as a iranian explained to me once about the regime they have ...It's because they are scared of the power females have over men and even more scared of a females body and her sexuality ...  |
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Personally, I’ve always detested slut shaming in any form.
I’ve not read much further into the Bonnie Blue story past the number and honestly don’t much care to.
Putting this opinion out there, I think guys can get a bit intimidated by women with high partner counts as they’re afraid of seeming inadequate or being compared to someone else even if they have no chance with them.
Then again that’s probably just my thinking and insecurities that I’m working through.
Either way what people do in their lives is their decisions as long as nobody is being taken advantage of. |
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Often when chatting to couples and single women on here or by other media I’ll tell a woman what a good slut she is or a husband how much of a dirty slut his wife looks. It’s all done in context of that conversation and is 100% meant as a compliment. It’s not the sort of thing you going to say to a stranger or one of your vanilla friends and acquaintances but I salute and respect all the sluts out there that are having lots of fun.  |
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I really have no issues with anyone doing what they want as long as they are not hurting others in any way.
It is none of our business and has no impact on our lives.
Good luck to them and I hope they have an amazing time.
Life is far too short so enjoy whatever you want of it I say. |
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I don’t think there should be any ‘slut shaming’
But with the guys that do it is a good indicator of what he’s like & I wouldn’t want to meet that kind of guy anyway so they do sieve their selves out & maybe they shouldn’t be on a site like this in the first place! |
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But how many profiles do you see that claim they don't want to `sleep with the whole site` or not looking for `notches on the bed post`. Which is fine but if you need to mention it you think it's a selling point |
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"I don't think things have changed at all.
My objection isn't to what she's doing but how she's going about itl
Yes. I think that what she has done should be separate from how she has done it x"
I also think the objections to her wanting wheel chair users to partake next time are really insulting to wheel chair users. |
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"I don't think things have changed at all.
My objection isn't to what she's doing but how she's going about itl
Yes. I think that what she has done should be separate from how she has done it x
I also think the objections to her wanting wheel chair users to partake next time are really insulting to wheel chair users. "
was that Bonnie or Lily ..and I've not seen that..
I think they are making it harder for gg like myself though. I do it as i enjoy it and get a thrill to take on the large groups. X |
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There's a difference..
She's obviously proud and well paid for what she does and accepts it. With that being said I'd call her a professional over just a common slut. Sluts make less effort.
There's always going to be an opinion on a woman's body. It's up to the woman to decide what opinion she wants to carry or what opinion she cares less about.
|
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I personally hate the word, and if anyone uses it in a message to us referring to M I will instantly block them.
As long as people are free from harm/coercion etc etc I have no issue with what anyone wants to do in their sex life as long as it’s their choice.
The fact that anyone feels the need to comment negatively about others tells me more about the individual commenting than the person they are talking about.
Live and let live.
We have heard people say things to each other watching us play in clubs, that’s fine, it’s a curiosity into our kinks and we get it’s not for everyone. But if someone came up to us in middle of scene and told us to stop I would be very annoyed. |
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"There's a difference..
She's obviously proud and well paid for what she does and accepts it. With that being said I'd call her a professional over just a common slut. Sluts make less effort.
There's always going to be an opinion on a woman's body. It's up to the woman to decide what opinion she wants to carry or what opinion she cares less about.
"
I'm very proud of my numbers count for both one event and a rough tally of my greedy girl life. Difference is I don't make front page news when I do 100 guys in a day... in fact I read lily Phillips stuff and I was curious why it took so long to get to 100.. I don't think being paid for it makes a difference...
|
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"I personally hate the word, and if anyone uses it in a message to us referring to M I will instantly block them.
As long as people are free from harm/coercion etc etc I have no issue with what anyone wants to do in their sex life as long as it’s their choice.
The fact that anyone feels the need to comment negatively about others tells me more about the individual commenting than the person they are talking about.
Live and let live.
We have heard people say things to each other watching us play in clubs, that’s fine, it’s a curiosity into our kinks and we get it’s not for everyone. But if someone came up to us in middle of scene and told us to stop I would be very annoyed."
To each their own, and fully respect your boundaries regarding that word.
Absolutely agree with you on the rest, what people decide to do with their lives is their choice nobody else’s. |
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"I don't think things have changed at all.
My objection isn't to what she's doing but how she's going about itl
Yes. I think that what she has done should be separate from how she has done it x
I also think the objections to her wanting wheel chair users to partake next time are really insulting to wheel chair users. was that Bonnie or Lily ..and I've not seen that..
I think they are making it harder for gg like myself though. I do it as i enjoy it and get a thrill to take on the large groups. X "
I read it on here so I haven't actually seen it either.  . I don't know if it's true or not but if it is individual wheel chair users can decide for themselves in the same way the able bodies men did. |
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As a side note (disclaimer- i don't know anything about any of this that I haven't heard second hand on here or in memes) regarding the fact she apparently specifically stated she wanted lots of younger men to participate- I've seen quite a few people saying things along the lines of "imagine if a man said that, there would be uproar, he'd get cancelled, he'd get locked up" etc.
SHIT LOADS of men are into exactly that, it's so common a kink to be pretty much unremarkable. Spend two minutes on pornhub or youporn or Bangbros or xtube or whatever your favourite Mindgeek monopoly porn provider is, and you'll see absolutely masses of content catering to men (and indeed women, NB, or none of the above) who are into young women. Mainstream magazines even; Playboy always loved a good school uniform centrefold. Carrying on from that, what about St Trinians? "School disco" themed nights at nightclubs? And that's just pornographic and overtly sexual media, look at Mainstream and "real life" too. How many Hollywood actors amd musicians have girlfriends/wives a fraction of their age? Celebrities of all variety? DiCaprio, Des O'Connor, Bruce Forsyth, Mick Jagger....
Making a fuss about this porn star enjoying younger partners by claiming men wouldn't get away with it when they not only can, but demonstrably DO, is just more misogyny. |
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She did what she desired, fair play to her.
We always tend to find those into heavy group play to be far to hard-core for ourselves and our approach.
That doesn't make their approach wrong, its just not what we are looking for. |
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Who is going to be in the old folks home with a grin on their face?
I'll definately be smirking remembering all the fun times! F*ck em I say and all their biggotted mysogynistic opinions. Live your life your way! |
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By *ony MannMan 3 weeks ago
Lagos, Portugal/ Ilfracombe Devon/ Anoover |
While I am looking for partner and not sex object I see no difference between a 'slut' and a prim and proper swinger.
I would bed both, but for myself I would not be standing in line, not to say I have not been in a group having sex.
I do not judge anyone. The only people I condem are those that pass STDs on intentionally or carelessly. |
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"There's a difference..
She's obviously proud and well paid for what she does and accepts it. With that being said I'd call her a professional over just a common slut. Sluts make less effort.
There's always going to be an opinion on a woman's body. It's up to the woman to decide what opinion she wants to carry or what opinion she cares less about.
I'm very proud of my numbers count for both one event and a rough tally of my greedy girl life. Difference is I don't make front page news when I do 100 guys in a day... in fact I read lily Phillips stuff and I was curious why it took so long to get to 100.. I don't think being paid for it makes a difference...
"
Makes a huge difference.. she's putting everything on the line for her profession and doing so publicly and proudly.
You could as well if you were so inclined and if you're the better achiever then you'd be where she's at in the spotlight and profession. |
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"There's a difference..
She's obviously proud and well paid for what she does and accepts it. With that being said I'd call her a professional over just a common slut. Sluts make less effort.
There's always going to be an opinion on a woman's body. It's up to the woman to decide what opinion she wants to carry or what opinion she cares less about.
I'm very proud of my numbers count for both one event and a rough tally of my greedy girl life. Difference is I don't make front page news when I do 100 guys in a day... in fact I read lily Phillips stuff and I was curious why it took so long to get to 100.. I don't think being paid for it makes a difference...
Makes a huge difference.. she's putting everything on the line for her profession and doing so publicly and proudly.
You could as well if you were so inclined and if you're the better achiever then you'd be where she's at in the spotlight and profession."
oh I am pretty sure give me the guys and I could equal that.. but i the difference is that i do it for the love of it... not to be paid. Even though people are shocked that my events I've not been paid for.
I don't really see how a newly 50 year old size 24 lady could quite get the interest that she got.. even if I didn't charge for it x
I have probably had way more men in my 30 year greedy girls escapades than she had but don't want my face plastered over national or international news |
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By *andSxxCouple 3 weeks ago
Birmingham |
"No shame at all. Seriously what guy wouldn't love to be with a so-called " slut". What defines a slut? My wife can be very naughty in bed, is that a slut? She's had 3-4 doggers cum over her does that meen she's a slut? If so she loves being a slut and you can try and shame her... she'd laugh at you and tell you to enjoy your boring crap sex life"
The perfect answer to narrow-minded snobbish people.👍 |
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I used to love going to gangbangs, it's great seeing a lady or ladies enjoying themselves because they want that to happen. Slut shaming is disgusting and I hate to read it or see it. On the bonnie blue thread it was shocking to see some of the horrible comments, one that I hated the most was about her spreading STIs, considering we as a group know the importance of safe sex why would people think a porn star wouldn't know or do the same, it's like the uninformed Mail reader who always comments on a post about swingers that we are all disease riddled sex addicts. |
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"
I don't really see how a newly 50 year old size 24 lady could quite get the interest that she got.. even if I didn't charge for it x "
That's because and I'm purely judging on your profile photos, that you are indeed a stunning lady! I know I would ask to join if I saw you or attend a event should you hold another. |
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I think you get a lot of shaming on this site because many are not actually here to meet .
They are living vicariously (or using it as a proxy dating site) and they are basically run of the mill vanillas who are not as liberal and open minded as they would like their friends to think they are. |
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My motto has always been “you can’t shame someone for being a slut, if they’re not ashamed of being a slut”
I don’t care how many people those girls have slept with or do I judge the guys who’ve slept with them. She can do when she likes with who she likes, but I hate her persona and attitude. She’s vile in that respect! I dislike how much media coverage she’s getting too, as it sparks so many debates especially online about morality etc but she’s clever, she’s made it that way to make alot of money from it.  |
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Speaking from the perspective of a slut worshipper for me its something of a frustration. I'm only interested in being in a long term relationship with a woman if I know her to be a slut, but for the reasons we all know when a woman is looking to potentially get serious it can sometimes take a while for her to realise that I'm authentic when I tell a woman that her being a slut is one of the qualities that will make her more desirable to me than any other kind of woman. |
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"Speaking from the perspective of a slut worshipper for me its something of a frustration. I'm only interested in being in a long term relationship with a woman if I know her to be a slut, but for the reasons we all know when a woman is looking to potentially get serious it can sometimes take a while for her to realise that I'm authentic when I tell a woman that her being a slut is one of the qualities that will make her more desirable to me than any other kind of woman."
I totally get this. I've been single for most of thr last 20 years as I truly believed that being as sexually active as I am, no man whould really accept or want me for me. I had a few brief attempts at relationships and each time that belief was reinforced. So I resigned myself to being single forever..and was quite happy to be so.
Then Mr and I met... and yup he definitely finds my slutty side sexy...however it is still for me taking some getting used to.
I find myself not doing or arranging things etc however in a weird and wonderful turn of events. I'd happily be monogamous with Mr .. something I've always said I couldn't and wouldn't do.
However he loves seeing me take on a huge group of guys and then need him to satisfy me after  |
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"
newly 50 year old
"
Newly 50? Welcome to the club lovely, hope you had a fabulous birthday!
And as for the slut shaming - it always is misogynistic, and it always is unnecessary.
A very wise lady once told me that when it comes to kink the best thing to do is not to yuk on someone else's yum.
As I've gone further in kink I couldn't agree more with her.
MJ |
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"
newly 50 year old
Newly 50? Welcome to the club lovely, hope you had a fabulous birthday!
And as for the slut shaming - it always is misogynistic, and it always is unnecessary.
A very wise lady once told me that when it comes to kink the best thing to do is not to yuk on someone else's yum.
As I've gone further in kink I couldn't agree more with her.
MJ"
I wouldn't say slut shaming is just the ladies though, I got some shame on her just the other day |
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By *ty31Man 2 weeks ago
NW London |
"A women has had 30 lovers , this might be frowned upon.
A man has had 30 lovers he's a stud.
Go figure !"
I've always guessed this mentality was down to men (generally) having to do the chasing |
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"As a side note (disclaimer- i don't know anything about any of this that I haven't heard second hand on here or in memes) regarding the fact she apparently specifically stated she wanted lots of younger men to participate- I've seen quite a few people saying things along the lines of "imagine if a man said that, there would be uproar, he'd get cancelled, he'd get locked up" etc.
SHIT LOADS of men are into exactly that, it's so common a kink to be pretty much unremarkable. Spend two minutes on pornhub or youporn or Bangbros or xtube or whatever your favourite Mindgeek monopoly porn provider is, and you'll see absolutely masses of content catering to men (and indeed women, NB, or none of the above) who are into young women. Mainstream magazines even; Playboy always loved a good school uniform centrefold. Carrying on from that, what about St Trinians? "School disco" themed nights at nightclubs? And that's just pornographic and overtly sexual media, look at Mainstream and "real life" too. How many Hollywood actors amd musicians have girlfriends/wives a fraction of their age? Celebrities of all variety? DiCaprio, Des O'Connor, Bruce Forsyth, Mick Jagger....
Making a fuss about this porn star enjoying younger partners by claiming men wouldn't get away with it when they not only can, but demonstrably DO, is just more misogyny. "
This response just makes me want you more  |
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I completely agree! I've seen a lot of shaming around her on here and other sites... and it's mostly to do with the numbers. I remember reading about the woman who had 100 in a day- reading the outrage - and then thinking I'd like to give that a go! 😈😈
Everyone involved in this had a choice to participate. Is it a case of "it's up to women what they do with their bodies- but only up to a point?".
I'm a greedy girl. I like multiple men. I'm keeping a tally on the amount of extra cock I have this year. I feel no shame about this! Xx |
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By *ony MannMan 2 weeks ago
Lagos, Portugal/ Ilfracombe Devon/ Anoover |
"I completely agree! I've seen a lot of shaming around her on here and other sites... and it's mostly to do with the numbers. I remember reading about the woman who had 100 in a day- reading the outrage - and then thinking I'd like to give that a go! 😈😈
Everyone involved in this had a choice to participate. Is it a case of "it's up to women what they do with their bodies- but only up to a point?".
I'm a greedy girl. I like multiple men. I'm keeping a tally on the amount of extra cock I have this year. I feel no shame about this! Xx"
No need to feel shame, give me a call |
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"I completely agree! I've seen a lot of shaming around her on here and other sites... and it's mostly to do with the numbers. I remember reading about the woman who had 100 in a day- reading the outrage - and then thinking I'd like to give that a go! 😈😈
Everyone involved in this had a choice to participate. Is it a case of "it's up to women what they do with their bodies- but only up to a point?".
I'm a greedy girl. I like multiple men. I'm keeping a tally on the amount of extra cock I have this year. I feel no shame about this! Xx"
you should give 100 a go. I've done it on More than one occasion |
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