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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 weeks ago
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Specifically for those Doms that scratch those itches for those that want to submit etc.
It's just a simple question - do you Kiss and cuddle those that have given themselves to you to do whatever you want with them?
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By *ane DTV/TS 20 weeks ago
London |
It depends on the aftercare the sub requires, some just want a wee lie down with their blanky. Others need cuddles n kisses.
Every sub is different, as is every dom/domme - there is dom drop (it's not talked about as much, but it does happen) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 weeks ago
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"To do whatever you want to them?
100% never.
Everything is agreed …..
But 100% aftercare for both after "
Thanks for the ‘everything is agreed’ I suppose that’s also known as consensual…😏
Yes. Whatever I want!!! ….
You see, whatever I want to do with her is exactly what I know is going to get her off. Do you think I or you would do something you wouldn’t want to do with them??…
100 percent after care is bang on for myself and you also it seems. But I do stand by 100 percent care during too.  |
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Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you. |
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By *C44Man 20 weeks ago
Ipswich |
"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you."
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 weeks ago
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"Hmm.
I rarely allow for that in negotiations for that kind of dynamic.
But then, I'm a fucking terrible sub, and I'm happier just dealing with sadists and primals than doms 💜"
No kissing? 😯 *cries |
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By *elkieWoman 20 weeks ago
Durham |
Depends on negotiations. I play on both kink and swing scenes, and there are a lot of D-types on both who have a personal boundary of no kissing (often to protect another relationship.) My ideal aftercare includes cuddles and forehead kisses - if we haven’t been kissing during, I don’t want it during aftercare, that’s a risk factor for drop for me. |
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By *NLOS123Man 20 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you.
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you"
Could not disagree more with you
Power is shared. Whether D or s both have a responsibility to look after each other before, during and after and play and outside of play.
There are no “parts” that you speak of. At that moment you are one, mentally, emotionally and physically entwined.
Power of submission and Dominance is a two way thing both with equal rights and voice to say “no”
For one person to hold all the power means that this can be manipulated in a negative form or way
Dominance does not mean strength nor submission mean weakness, it’s an equal joining of mind and body, it is not one persons “show”, it is totally equal |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 20 weeks ago
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"And aftercare is as important for the Dominant as well as the submissive "
Yeh, that’s something I found out, hence why I’m personally against meeting someone I don’t know that way. |
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"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you.
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you
Could not disagree more with you
Power is shared. Whether D or s both have a responsibility to look after each other before, during and after and play and outside of play.
There are no “parts” that you speak of. At that moment you are one, mentally, emotionally and physically entwined.
Power of submission and Dominance is a two way thing both with equal rights and voice to say “no”
For one person to hold all the power means that this can be manipulated in a negative form or way
Dominance does not mean strength nor submission mean weakness, it’s an equal joining of mind and body, it is not one persons “show”, it is totally equal "
Now that is THE answer. |
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"Specifically for those Doms that scratch those itches for those that want to submit etc.
It's just a simple question - do you Kiss and cuddle those that have given themselves to you to do whatever you want with them?
"
Well he knows my limits so anything he does to me he knows I really really really like. So it's not exactly what HE wants and if he wants to try something new we talk about and if we both agree it is something that can be done in the future.
In regards to the kissing and cuddling, this is a must for me. Any play done needs after care for both of us and one way is reconnecting via kisses and cuddles. |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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"Specifically for those Doms that scratch those itches for those that want to submit etc.
It's just a simple question - do you Kiss and cuddle those that have given themselves to you to do whatever you want with them?
Well he knows my limits so anything he does to me he knows I really really really like. So it's not exactly what HE wants and if he wants to try something new we talk about and if we both agree it is something that can be done in the future.
In regards to the kissing and cuddling, this is a must for me. Any play done needs after care for both of us and one way is reconnecting via kisses and cuddles. "
That’s good to know, aftercare is vital |
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Aftercare is crucial and like others have said you should talk about what kind of aftercare your sub prefers as well as their limits etc
I personally do love a cuddle, in life as well as in sex, but not everyone is a hugger lol |
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By (user no longer on site) 20 weeks ago
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Successful D/S relationships absolutely must have the same sensuality as in ordinary relationships. And it is actually oftentimes given more emphasis than most relationships especially ‘after’ a play session.
Intimacy still therefore exists and at v high levels - it’s not a controllership arrangement where a dom can wade in and take his/her slice of the pie and run, and come back for an endless supply of more when s/he gets hungry again |
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"Specifically for those Doms that scratch those itches for those that want to submit etc.
It's just a simple question - do you Kiss and cuddle those that have given themselves to you to do whatever you want with them?
"
only in after care not during the domming as it can break what ever deal you already have agreed on but part of after care ues ovbcours |
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"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you.
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you
Could not disagree more with you
Power is shared. Whether D or s both have a responsibility to look after each other before, during and after and play and outside of play.
There are no “parts” that you speak of. At that moment you are one, mentally, emotionally and physically entwined.
Power of submission and Dominance is a two way thing both with equal rights and voice to say “no”
For one person to hold all the power means that this can be manipulated in a negative form or way
Dominance does not mean strength nor submission mean weakness, it’s an equal joining of mind and body, it is not one persons “show”, it is totally equal "
tbh I think the sub has all the power and control as of safety wors are used it all stops for me as a dom I see myself is another sexual object for sub to use for their gratification and extra dildo if she will am just human being its their fanatsys I perform it's just me commenting the acts |
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By *NLOS123Man 20 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you.
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you
Could not disagree more with you
Power is shared. Whether D or s both have a responsibility to look after each other before, during and after and play and outside of play.
There are no “parts” that you speak of. At that moment you are one, mentally, emotionally and physically entwined.
Power of submission and Dominance is a two way thing both with equal rights and voice to say “no”
For one person to hold all the power means that this can be manipulated in a negative form or way
Dominance does not mean strength nor submission mean weakness, it’s an equal joining of mind and body, it is not one persons “show”, it is totally equal tbh I think the sub has all the power and control as of safety wors are used it all stops for me as a dom I see myself is another sexual object for sub to use for their gratification and extra dildo if she will am just human being its their fanatsys I perform it's just me commenting the acts "
So the Dominants feelings and concerns are not considered.
Take impact. The sub is asking for more but the Dominant is uncomfortable in doing that. They may not feel happy or comfortable bruising someone, but the sub is saying “harder”
For me the Dominant has as much right firstly to say no, whether that is using a safe word, to protect themselves or to actually protect the submissive for entering sub frenzy.
Surely both parties have to have equal gratification from it rather than as you say the dominant being an extra dildo |
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"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you.
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you
Could not disagree more with you
Power is shared. Whether D or s both have a responsibility to look after each other before, during and after and play and outside of play.
There are no “parts” that you speak of. At that moment you are one, mentally, emotionally and physically entwined.
Power of submission and Dominance is a two way thing both with equal rights and voice to say “no”
For one person to hold all the power means that this can be manipulated in a negative form or way
Dominance does not mean strength nor submission mean weakness, it’s an equal joining of mind and body, it is not one persons “show”, it is totally equal tbh I think the sub has all the power and control as of safety wors are used it all stops for me as a dom I see myself is another sexual object for sub to use for their gratification and extra dildo if she will am just human being its their fanatsys I perform it's just me commenting the acts
So the Dominants feelings and concerns are not considered.
Take impact. The sub is asking for more but the Dominant is uncomfortable in doing that. They may not feel happy or comfortable bruising someone, but the sub is saying “harder”
For me the Dominant has as much right firstly to say no, whether that is using a safe word, to protect themselves or to actually protect the submissive for entering sub frenzy.
Surely both parties have to have equal gratification from it rather than as you say the dominant being an extra dildo "
no they are considered etc just am so easy to please that just doing it brings me pleasure etc thus I'm always happy as for sub frenzy no I know that if they do that it's reign it back and control etc but for me the sub is in control of most fo the play unless sporadic thoughts come to me of how to play with tools given to me in way unexpected not done before but its all horses for course each room environment mentality and sub is different making each situation different |
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"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you.
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you
Could not disagree more with you
Power is shared. Whether D or s both have a responsibility to look after each other before, during and after and play and outside of play.
There are no “parts” that you speak of. At that moment you are one, mentally, emotionally and physically entwined.
Power of submission and Dominance is a two way thing both with equal rights and voice to say “no”
For one person to hold all the power means that this can be manipulated in a negative form or way
Dominance does not mean strength nor submission mean weakness, it’s an equal joining of mind and body, it is not one persons “show”, it is totally equal tbh I think the sub has all the power and control as of safety wors are used it all stops for me as a dom I see myself is another sexual object for sub to use for their gratification and extra dildo if she will am just human being its their fanatsys I perform it's just me commenting the acts
So the Dominants feelings and concerns are not considered.
Take impact. The sub is asking for more but the Dominant is uncomfortable in doing that. They may not feel happy or comfortable bruising someone, but the sub is saying “harder”
For me the Dominant has as much right firstly to say no, whether that is using a safe word, to protect themselves or to actually protect the submissive for entering sub frenzy.
Surely both parties have to have equal gratification from it rather than as you say the dominant being an extra dildo "
As I said for me it's all about exploring other fantasys nit my own I'm just a person along for wild ride |
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By *NLOS123Man 20 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you.
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you
Could not disagree more with you
Power is shared. Whether D or s both have a responsibility to look after each other before, during and after and play and outside of play.
There are no “parts” that you speak of. At that moment you are one, mentally, emotionally and physically entwined.
Power of submission and Dominance is a two way thing both with equal rights and voice to say “no”
For one person to hold all the power means that this can be manipulated in a negative form or way
Dominance does not mean strength nor submission mean weakness, it’s an equal joining of mind and body, it is not one persons “show”, it is totally equal tbh I think the sub has all the power and control as of safety wors are used it all stops for me as a dom I see myself is another sexual object for sub to use for their gratification and extra dildo if she will am just human being its their fanatsys I perform it's just me commenting the acts
So the Dominants feelings and concerns are not considered.
Take impact. The sub is asking for more but the Dominant is uncomfortable in doing that. They may not feel happy or comfortable bruising someone, but the sub is saying “harder”
For me the Dominant has as much right firstly to say no, whether that is using a safe word, to protect themselves or to actually protect the submissive for entering sub frenzy.
Surely both parties have to have equal gratification from it rather than as you say the dominant being an extra dildo As I said for me it's all about exploring other fantasys nit my own I'm just a person along for wild ride "
As you say horses for courses and each to their own but if you’re exploring other peoples fantasies and you’re along for this so called wild ride for me that’s a no.
Fantasies are to be explored together. What if you don’t like their fantasy, you still going for the wild ride.
Any fantasy, for me, needs to be explored before, limits set, and for both to have the ability to stop it
You do it your way. I’ll do it mine. Have a great day |
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"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you.
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you
Could not disagree more with you
Power is shared. Whether D or s both have a responsibility to look after each other before, during and after and play and outside of play.
There are no “parts” that you speak of. At that moment you are one, mentally, emotionally and physically entwined.
Power of submission and Dominance is a two way thing both with equal rights and voice to say “no”
For one person to hold all the power means that this can be manipulated in a negative form or way
Dominance does not mean strength nor submission mean weakness, it’s an equal joining of mind and body, it is not one persons “show”, it is totally equal tbh I think the sub has all the power and control as of safety wors are used it all stops for me as a dom I see myself is another sexual object for sub to use for their gratification and extra dildo if she will am just human being its their fanatsys I perform it's just me commenting the acts
So the Dominants feelings and concerns are not considered.
Take impact. The sub is asking for more but the Dominant is uncomfortable in doing that. They may not feel happy or comfortable bruising someone, but the sub is saying “harder”
For me the Dominant has as much right firstly to say no, whether that is using a safe word, to protect themselves or to actually protect the submissive for entering sub frenzy.
Surely both parties have to have equal gratification from it rather than as you say the dominant being an extra dildo "
I’m with you. If I thought I was being used as a dildo, I’d walk away.
As a very wise fabber has said on other threads. I’m not a kink vending machine. I have my very strong wants & desires. And they must absolutely feed into my playmates. I wouldn’t be at all happy if they changed their boundaries for me & the same consideration should be shown for mine. |
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By *NLOS123Man 20 weeks ago
Wolverhampton |
"Aftercare is absolutely vital. Sometimes that'll involve cuddles and kisses, sometimes it won't, especially if they're touch overloaded. What it never involves is "whatever you want"; everything in a D/s dynamic has to be within the lines the sub has drawn for you.
And there in that last sentence is the thing people who want to dom don't understand far too often. The one who gives the power over to the other is the one who is in control,its their show, you are just playing a part they have given you
Could not disagree more with you
Power is shared. Whether D or s both have a responsibility to look after each other before, during and after and play and outside of play.
There are no “parts” that you speak of. At that moment you are one, mentally, emotionally and physically entwined.
Power of submission and Dominance is a two way thing both with equal rights and voice to say “no”
For one person to hold all the power means that this can be manipulated in a negative form or way
Dominance does not mean strength nor submission mean weakness, it’s an equal joining of mind and body, it is not one persons “show”, it is totally equal tbh I think the sub has all the power and control as of safety wors are used it all stops for me as a dom I see myself is another sexual object for sub to use for their gratification and extra dildo if she will am just human being its their fanatsys I perform it's just me commenting the acts
So the Dominants feelings and concerns are not considered.
Take impact. The sub is asking for more but the Dominant is uncomfortable in doing that. They may not feel happy or comfortable bruising someone, but the sub is saying “harder”
For me the Dominant has as much right firstly to say no, whether that is using a safe word, to protect themselves or to actually protect the submissive for entering sub frenzy.
Surely both parties have to have equal gratification from it rather than as you say the dominant being an extra dildo
I’m with you. If I thought I was being used as a dildo, I’d walk away.
As a very wise fabber has said on other threads. I’m not a kink vending machine. I have my very strong wants & desires. And they must absolutely feed into my playmates. I wouldn’t be at all happy if they changed their boundaries for me & the same consideration should be shown for mine."
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