FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Finding a FWB while attached
Finding a FWB while attached
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"Just wondering, is it just my experience on here, or is there always some form of inequality when it comes to this? I’ve spoken to some women on here regarding a FWB arrangement, who are indeed themselves attached, but looking for more. However, when I get asked and say I am too, all of a sudden I’m a bad guy? Just don’t get it… " Ooooo pick me, pick me I can answer this one! I'm married, husband and I both opened our marriage up, he found a FWB (more of a gf) but I found it more difficult and for that exact reason OP and my reasons are simply this, I wanted to find a single FWB because I wanted more than a quick shag in the back of a van/car/woods/hotel, I wanted to be able to go round his for the evening, watch a film etc but him being attached means I wouldn't be able to do that, if they wasn't loving together and in the same situation as myself and my husband that's a different set up entirely but never found that, if it was just a bloke doing the dirty behind his missus back means it wouldn't be a "fwb" set up (everyone's definition is different but mine is you are friends, hang out ans have the sex). Now you are asking why he couldn't come here and watch a film etc, good question and deserves an answer, the answer is simple, my husband would most likely be here and while he was happy for me to have a fwb he wouldn't have really wanted me cuddled up on the sofa with the guy, as it's a very separate "relationship" That's my experience OP, hope it helps x | |||
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"This actually makes sense, and I fully understand that people have preferences and that’s ok. Could it be that as you and your partner have opened up your relationship, it makes the whole arrangement that bit more easier? What about having a discreet FWB arrangement where your partner doesn’t know?" That's an affair lol | |||
"This actually makes sense, and I fully understand that people have preferences and that’s ok. Could it be that as you and your partner have opened up your relationship, it makes the whole arrangement that bit more easier? What about having a discreet FWB arrangement where your partner doesn’t know? That's an affair lol" If this is synonymous by both parties, and it’s made clear at the start regarding both people’s situation, then surely there should be an understanding and acceptance on both parts, not ok for one and not the other… | |||
"This actually makes sense, and I fully understand that people have preferences and that’s ok. Could it be that as you and your partner have opened up your relationship, it makes the whole arrangement that bit more easier? What about having a discreet FWB arrangement where your partner doesn’t know? That's an affair lol If this is synonymous by both parties, and it’s made clear at the start regarding both people’s situation, then surely there should be an understanding and acceptance on both parts, not ok for one and not the other…" You've used a big word, my eyes aren't adjusted yet (I've had to use the big font this morning). Me no understandy of the question, can you break it down please? | |||
"This actually makes sense, and I fully understand that people have preferences and that’s ok. Could it be that as you and your partner have opened up your relationship, it makes the whole arrangement that bit more easier? What about having a discreet FWB arrangement where your partner doesn’t know? That's an affair lol If this is synonymous by both parties, and it’s made clear at the start regarding both people’s situation, then surely there should be an understanding and acceptance on both parts, not ok for one and not the other… You've used a big word, my eyes aren't adjusted yet (I've had to use the big font this morning). Me no understandy of the question, can you break it down please? " Lol sure, so if 2 people are in a relationship, and want a FWB, if they speak to someone who is in a relationship (male in this case), why give them stick when they are doing the exact same thing, only they are a woman… so that’s ok? But a man seeking the same isn’t? | |||
"This actually makes sense, and I fully understand that people have preferences and that’s ok. Could it be that as you and your partner have opened up your relationship, it makes the whole arrangement that bit more easier? What about having a discreet FWB arrangement where your partner doesn’t know? That's an affair lol If this is synonymous by both parties, and it’s made clear at the start regarding both people’s situation, then surely there should be an understanding and acceptance on both parts, not ok for one and not the other… You've used a big word, my eyes aren't adjusted yet (I've had to use the big font this morning). Me no understandy of the question, can you break it down please? Lol sure, so if 2 people are in a relationship, and want a FWB, if they speak to someone who is in a relationship (male in this case), why give them stick when they are doing the exact same thing, only they are a woman… so that’s ok? But a man seeking the same isn’t? " Oh I see! See I never would give someone stick for it, everyone is here for a reason and I have been that person who has had affairs so would never say anything, the reason I back away from an attached man is the reasons I've given above, it's just a more convenient if he was single. | |||
"Lol sure, so if 2 people are in a relationship, and want a FWB, if they speak to someone who is in a relationship (male in this case), why give them stick when they are doing the exact same thing, only they are a woman… so that’s ok? But a man seeking the same isn’t? " This is called hypocrisy. And obviously you don't want to associate with such people. Luckily, you're able to identify it and remove such people from your pool of prospective meets. Hooray!  | |||
"Lol sure, so if 2 people are in a relationship, and want a FWB, if they speak to someone who is in a relationship (male in this case), why give them stick when they are doing the exact same thing, only they are a woman… so that’s ok? But a man seeking the same isn’t? This is called hypocrisy. And obviously you don't want to associate with such people. Luckily, you're able to identify it and remove such people from your pool of prospective meets. Hooray! "Evidently so, and quite rightfully have, but noticed this being quite a trend also | |||
"Evidently so, and quite rightfully have, but noticed this being quite a trend also" Hypocrisy? Probably. People are terrible. I interact with more men, so I see it more from men. But appreciate that there's a confirmation bias at play there. Somewhere like this there's a lot more men than women. Which means many play the numbers game and fawn at people who compromise their own morality for the sake of getting laid. Don't let it bother you | |||
"Just wondering, is it just my experience on here, or is there always some form of inequality when it comes to this? I’ve spoken to some women on here regarding a FWB arrangement, who are indeed themselves attached, but looking for more. However, when I get asked and say I am too, all of a sudden I’m a bad guy? Just don’t get it… Ooooo pick me, pick me I can answer this one! I'm married, husband and I both opened our marriage up, he found a FWB (more of a gf) but I found it more difficult and for that exact reason OP and my reasons are simply this, I wanted to find a single FWB because I wanted more than a quick shag in the back of a van/car/woods/hotel, I wanted to be able to go round his for the evening, watch a film etc but him being attached means I wouldn't be able to do that, if they wasn't loving together and in the same situation as myself and my husband that's a different set up entirely but never found that, if it was just a bloke doing the dirty behind his missus back means it wouldn't be a "fwb" set up (everyone's definition is different but mine is you are friends, hang out ans have the sex). Now you are asking why he couldn't come here and watch a film etc, good question and deserves an answer, the answer is simple, my husband would most likely be here and while he was happy for me to have a fwb he wouldn't have really wanted me cuddled up on the sofa with the guy, as it's a very separate "relationship" That's my experience OP, hope it helps x" This. I am married, my husband knows. I am perfectly happy going out to restaurants, bars, doing “le sex” (copyright Littlebird 2024) and acting like a normal friendship with added benefits. With attached men it is always hiding, having to get out of the hotel room when the Mrs calls, and I am sick of that bullshit. I am never taking it again. So ideally I’d like to find a single FWB, and since I like younger men you’d think it’d be easier but it’s not! Ah well- he’ll get here in time. In the meantime I’m just happy chatting away and going to socials. | |||
Keep in mind nothing lasts forever ... thankfully! | |||
"Just wondering, is it just my experience on here, or is there always some form of inequality when it comes to this? I’ve spoken to some women on here regarding a FWB arrangement, who are indeed themselves attached, but looking for more. However, when I get asked and say I am too, all of a sudden I’m a bad guy? Just don’t get it… Ooooo pick me, pick me I can answer this one! I'm married, husband and I both opened our marriage up, he found a FWB (more of a gf) but I found it more difficult and for that exact reason OP and my reasons are simply this, I wanted to find a single FWB because I wanted more than a quick shag in the back of a van/car/woods/hotel, I wanted to be able to go round his for the evening, watch a film etc but him being attached means I wouldn't be able to do that, if they wasn't loving together and in the same situation as myself and my husband that's a different set up entirely but never found that, if it was just a bloke doing the dirty behind his missus back means it wouldn't be a "fwb" set up (everyone's definition is different but mine is you are friends, hang out ans have the sex). Now you are asking why he couldn't come here and watch a film etc, good question and deserves an answer, the answer is simple, my husband would most likely be here and while he was happy for me to have a fwb he wouldn't have really wanted me cuddled up on the sofa with the guy, as it's a very separate "relationship" That's my experience OP, hope it helps x This. I am married, my husband knows. I am perfectly happy going out to restaurants, bars, doing “le sex” (copyright Littlebird 2024) and acting like a normal friendship with added benefits. With attached men it is always hiding, having to get out of the hotel room when the Mrs calls, and I am sick of that bullshit. I am never taking it again. So ideally I’d like to find a single FWB, and since I like younger men you’d think it’d be easier but it’s not! Ah well- he’ll get here in time. In the meantime I’m just happy chatting away and going to socials. " Same! I love younger men but they don't seem to understand what we are looking for lol x | |||
"Evidently so, and quite rightfully have, but noticed this being quite a trend also Hypocrisy? Probably. People are terrible. I interact with more men, so I see it more from men. But appreciate that there's a confirmation bias at play there. Somewhere like this there's a lot more men than women. Which means many play the numbers game and fawn at people who compromise their own morality for the sake of getting laid. Don't let it bother you "That final paragraph pretty much sums it up to be fair | |||
"Without the right approach and attitude FWB can for many people be a slippery path,just as threesomes can bring out the jealous streak in people. Some can't separate sex from eventually getting attached,as the more you see and interact, eventually some will form a bond way beyond FWB... In those cases it's best to sit down with all concerned and either end it or move on as a three way dynamic.... It can be rewarding ...I speak from experience
Keep in mind nothing lasts forever ... thankfully! "A couple of excellent points here. I’m an attached person who enjoys 3sums and older women. I really enjoy meeting people who are on FAB and have the same interests as me. I see fab as a private hobby. When i say I’m looking for friends I mean people who have the same interest as me and are happy to separate fun from emotion. I really dont want a come and go meet up and i dont want a date night either. Is it better to also meet up with someone else who is attached and looking for the same thing or a single wanting nsa. I’m also from a small town so really think I should be putting some distance between myself and my fab friends. Any thoughts suggestions for this post greatly appreciated. | |||
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"Just wondering, is it just my experience on here, or is there always some form of inequality when it comes to this? I’ve spoken to some women on here regarding a FWB arrangement, who are indeed themselves attached, but looking for more. However, when I get asked and say I am too, all of a sudden I’m a bad guy? Just don’t get it… " Because there is a massive, massive difference between looking for an FWB with your partner’s knowledge and support… … and cheating. And while I have come to accept that most guys are, even when they tell me they aren’t, I would imagine it’s very difficult to establish any kind of casual relationship with someone who is constantly looking over their shoulder. Now, OP, if you’re saying that you’re experiencing women who are cheating, calling you out for cheating… then that’s hypocrisy… welcome to Fab | |||
"Just wondering, is it just my experience on here, or is there always some form of inequality when it comes to this? I’ve spoken to some women on here regarding a FWB arrangement, who are indeed themselves attached, but looking for more. However, when I get asked and say I am too, all of a sudden I’m a bad guy? Just don’t get it… Because there is a massive, massive difference between looking for an FWB with your partner’s knowledge and support… … and cheating. And while I have come to accept that most guys are, even when they tell me they aren’t, I would imagine it’s very difficult to establish any kind of casual relationship with someone who is constantly looking over their shoulder. Now, OP, if you’re saying that you’re experiencing women who are cheating, calling you out for cheating… then that’s hypocrisy… welcome to Fab "I agree with your initial point regarding partner involvement/behind their back. However everyone’s situation is different, the typical scenario of ‘innocent partner at home while the guy is out being a cheat’ isn’t always the case. Everyone has their preferences and that should be respected, but my initial point was the hypocrisy especially when the other person is doing the same as you, but judges you! I guess you’re right on that one… | |||
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"Did come across this when I was marred yes and have more chats and some intrest now I'm single. But it's a ladies minority so that have a lot of interest coming at them. And it's a way of cutting potential meets down and getting exactly what they are after. Just life there are many others who don't mind so you will find someone you click with eventually fingers crossed "Agreed!  | |||
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"i do think alot of folk get fwb mixed up with afairs or poly type relationships ... fwb is purely that a friend that you have sexy fun with nothing more nothing less" 100 percent | |||
"i do think alot of folk get fwb mixed up with afairs or poly type relationships ... fwb is purely that a friend that you have sexy fun with nothing more nothing less" It’s cheating regardless though. | |||
"i do think alot of folk get fwb mixed up with afairs or poly type relationships ... fwb is purely that a friend that you have sexy fun with nothing more nothing less" I agree with you on this point. Just for clarification are FWB and FB the same thing. I thing then are, do you? | |||
"i do think alot of folk get fwb mixed up with afairs or poly type relationships ... fwb is purely that a friend that you have sexy fun with nothing more nothing less I agree with you on this point. Just for clarification are FWB and FB the same thing. I thing then are, do you?" I don't think a fuckbuddy and a friend with benefits are quite synonymous. It's subtle, but the difference is relational focus: an FWB is a friend you fuck, whereas a FB is someone you have sex with and occasionally hang out with. | |||
"i do think alot of folk get fwb mixed up with afairs or poly type relationships ... fwb is purely that a friend that you have sexy fun with nothing more nothing less I agree with you on this point. Just for clarification are FWB and FB the same thing. I thing then are, do you? I don't think a fuckbuddy and a friend with benefits are quite synonymous. It's subtle, but the difference is relational focus: an FWB is a friend you fuck, whereas a FB is someone you have sex with and occasionally hang out with." Ok I understand that. | |||
