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Expecting a reply straight away..
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What are people's views when someone messages you either here or elsewhere & you don't reply straight away?..
Then you get "where you gone?" "Have I said something wrong?" etc...
I find this personally a bit clingy & a red flag..so block.
People have lives & aren't always online.
Feel better getting that off my chest.. 
Happy Saturday |
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Even when 'we' appear online, it's usually me (Mr) on forums. I rarely reply to a message and as Mrs probably looks at them once a week, you'll probably be waiting a while for a reply to a generic message  |
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By *ynecplCouple 40 weeks ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
Never had those sorts of messages but many many years ago we were blocked for failing to instantly reply to a message even though it was sent whilst we were at work and not logged in. |
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It's fairly common and irritating, at best. You're busy on the forum and a string of messages, often including just a '?', sometimes several of them.
Obviously totally unpleasant people, who feel nothing wrong with harassing others. So a good filtering help, to get rid of them. |
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By *att71Man 40 weeks ago
Bristol |
I think folks forget that we have lives as well as here....
I will also answer a message, but its not possible to do it straight away, even if it says am online I may we ll be away from phone/laptop etc.
Folks are so impatient these days , thats my two peneth worth lol  |
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"It's fairly common and irritating, at best. You're busy on the forum and a string of messages, often including just a '?', sometimes several of them.
Obviously totally unpleasant people, who feel nothing wrong with harassing others. So a good filtering help, to get rid of them."
If someone sent me a ‘?’ then it would be an instant block. |
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By *att71Man 40 weeks ago
Bristol |
"I think folks forget that we have lives as well as here....
I will also answer a message, but its not possible to do it straight away, even if it says am online I may we ll be away from phone/laptop etc.
Folks are so impatient these days , thats my two peneth worth lol "
Why has no one replied, did I do somethnig wrong? you there? lol |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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As I guy I try and appreciate that the people I message probably have hundreds if not thousands of messages to wade through and most likely a large number of potential conversations on the go therefore I try not to take things personally if I'm not answered in a quick time frame.
That being said, if we have been chatting and it's not working for you, it would be nicer to say that rather than being ghosted. |
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By *mmaleiaWoman 40 weeks ago
Trowbridge |
I can honestly leave my inbox a week before I look at it, pretty much my only filter on is single men & they’re relentless, it becomes a chore, but I have to do it incase there’s that 1 interesting guy in it, not that it’s happened yet  |
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We usually block.
We both like to read messages. Sometimes read and will reply later. Don’t actually notice the message counter go from 31 to 32. Whatever, no one is owed a response.
There’s even a warning before the user sends the second message! |
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"What are people's views when someone messages you either here or elsewhere & you don't reply straight away?..
Then you get "where you gone?" "Have I said something wrong?" etc...
I find this personally a bit clingy & a red flag..so block.
People have lives & aren't always online.
Feel better getting that off my chest..
Happy Saturday "
I think in some cases it's anxiety and causes people to self depricate
But you aren't expected to message back straight away ever
Problem is with them not u |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Definately can concur with this..
"As I guy I try and appreciate that the people I message probably have hundreds if not thousands of messages to wade through and most likely a large number of potential conversations on the go therefore I try not to take things personally if I'm not answered in a quick time frame.
That being said, if we have been chatting and it's not working for you, it would be nicer to say that rather than being ghosted. "
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By *OYFBWoman 40 weeks ago
Jersey (sometimes Notts) |
I get this a lot from guys, then they become abusive when I don’t reply. Some real incel - like behaviour.
A guy the other day said in his last massage before I blocked him “I hope you get aids”. This man was in his 50’s.
Another called me “a fucking dickhead”, again someone old enough to know better.
Being pushy doesn’t get the pussy. |
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By *orny-DJMan 40 weeks ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
It's the biggest problem with electronic communication and it isn't limited to fab.
People make the assumption that your message has been delivered the moment you send it and that the recipient is online and able to access it immediately and that they haven't anything better to do.
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By *ucka39Man 40 weeks ago
Newcastle |
"What are people's views when someone messages you either here or elsewhere & you don't reply straight away?..
Then you get "where you gone?" "Have I said something wrong?" etc...
I find this personally a bit clingy & a red flag..so block.
People have lives & aren't always online.
Feel better getting that off my chest..
Happy Saturday "
Was starting to sound like a song just need some drum and bass |
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Yep, I hate when someone messages, I read it, not sure if I'm replying or not and bam they send yet another message right away.
Just screams pushy to me and I block.
If anyone I've been speaking to for a while shows any sign of possessiveness whilst messaging, it's deffo a red flag.
We all have lives and jobs away from here & some days I just don't feel like talking much. |
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Think we usually show online a lot as one/both have just left ourselves logged in but doesn't necessarily mean we are actually looking at the site.
Recently had someone send us a face pic and they had blocked us because we had left it unread for a couple of hours and not replied.  |
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There’s definitely a modern world element to it.
People expect immediate responses by whatever platform - but they won’t pick up the phone ; you want an immediate response, call me, and if I pick up you can have it, if not, join the queue. |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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Fab is getting worse. Women and couples get so many shitty mesaages.
I very rarely message people now. I don't have kids, so can just go to a club when I am free.
Stress free just get ready and hit a club, instead of ping pong messaging for weeks or even months on end. |
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The whole 'people have lives' is a load of BS. The clingy, red flag waving is a red flag itself.
If you are interested in someone you reply, if not you delete. If you are on fab, you have time in your day. Having a 1000 messages isn't because you're flooded with them, it's because you don't delete, block, hide profiles to delete or check who's messaged, have hundreds of friends you'll never meet, don't use age, gender, verification or couple filters. There's tonnes of ways to cut down of the number of messages.
But it goes both ways.... If you message as you're interested, it's read but not replied to for a couple of weeks, would you think they are interested or "have a busy life". You'd move on. You wouldn't bother despite initially being interested.
It's not difficult to have a conversation via message. What is difficult is to have multiple conversations with different people which is what usually happens, as people want back up options. It ends with short messages and people losing interest if not people carrying on for sake of fuck and go.
People do have lives but if both are online, replying isn't difficult if interested. You can't build rapport through fleeting messages.
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As some have said already we are a couple and on here on different devices not always together. We won’t reply til we have discussed with each other if suitable etc.
if someone gets pushy there blocked instantly. We don’t want pushy playmates so if they have no patience with messages that’s a red flag x |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"What are people's views when someone messages you either here or elsewhere & you don't reply straight away?..
Then you get "where you gone?" "Have I said something wrong?" etc...
I find this personally a bit clingy & a red flag..so block.
People have lives & aren't always online.
Feel better getting that off my chest..
Happy Saturday "
Yes it’s annoying. I’ve had people message me and then follow it up with “?????” within 2 minutes before.
Does my head in and there’s no chance I’ll meet anyone that’s so needy and impatient. It’s much worse on sites/apps that have an instant messaging feature. Fortunately most people on fab are more patient and understanding |
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If I put up a meet request I get quite a few ??? messages. Often I’ll be just getting ready or browsing the forums or replying to a genuine Tgirl admirer with verifications.
I’ll generally reply to as many as I can but knowing some will send abuse back. |
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"Not so much the speed of reply that is annoying but more as others have pointed out is the ghosting; thats annoying.
Be much nicer and politer to bring a convo to a close "
Sometimes it isn't that easy..then you get why? Or abused verbally..
I don't see blocking as ghosting,
It's just a final end... |
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By (user no longer on site) 40 weeks ago
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"Not so much the speed of reply that is annoying but more as others have pointed out is the ghosting; thats annoying.
Be much nicer and politer to bring a convo to a close "
Ghosting doesn’t exist unless you know someone in real life imo. Online is a fast moving world and it’s not possible to respond to everyone without making it a full time job.
I know I disappear from conversations suddenly, and it’s never malicious. It’s just that I’m usually busy, distracted, forgotten someone has messaged, or overwhelmed with too many messages. It’s not realistic to be able to bring every convo to a close. If others do the same to me then I understand that’s probably the case too - though more often than not I simply don’t notice.
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"Not so much the speed of reply that is annoying but more as others have pointed out is the ghosting; thats annoying.
Be much nicer and politer to bring a convo to a close
Ghosting doesn’t exist unless you know someone in real life imo. Online is a fast moving world and it’s not possible to respond to everyone without making it a full time job.
I know I disappear from conversations suddenly, and it’s never malicious. It’s just that I’m usually busy, distracted, forgotten someone has messaged, or overwhelmed with too many messages. It’s not realistic to be able to bring every convo to a close. If others do the same to me then I understand that’s probably the case too - though more often than not I simply don’t notice.
"
Absolutely agree  |
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If I make first contact, I tend to at least wait a couple of weeks before (apologetically) following up - I realise that people have lives and more interesting things to do than sit refreshing their inbox every 10 seconds.
Though if someone's made first contact with me, that implies they're in some way interested already - so I understand frustration when a seemingly positive conversation suddenly stops.
Especially if they've got in contact explicitly asking if I'm available that night!
I find a block, or a quick 'not for me/us', sufficient - but if we've been chatting before, or I've messaged weeks ago and you just read and left it, I'll assume that you're too busy and your inbox too full to notice me... so maybe I'll try again.
Please advise if I'm making a mistake in any way, but I don't get much feedback through PM!  |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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If we are talking about on here my expectations are low so I expect nothing and so don't check and don't follow up. Same with WhatsApp irl if someone doesn't answer and I know them well I chase up in couple of days. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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Yes definitely a red flag often signifying being pushy, desperate or clingy. I find it even more irritating when they do a single question mark on its own chaser. |
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Lots of overthinking throughout on both sides I seem to find.
Lots of assumptions and judgements based off such little information about a person but unfortunately it is what it is and there's a lot of difficult people out there. Just don't be one of them |
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Anyone enlighten me what this clingy message stuff is? From what I know you're messaging each other or someone is spam messaging you without reply.
If you're messaging each other there's some kind of interest (whatever it is), if there's non, you don't or you're not interested.
What's the clingy stuff? Does I've found someone, you're not my type, not what I'm after, block, not work? |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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"Anyone enlighten me what this clingy message stuff is? From what I know you're messaging each other or someone is spam messaging you without reply.
If you're messaging each other there's some kind of interest (whatever it is), if there's non, you don't or you're not interested.
What's the clingy stuff? Does I've found someone, you're not my type, not what I'm after, block, not work?"
Clingy stuff - it’s usually when someone IS your type, but they are impatient and possessive if you don’t reply to them immediately. Double or triple messaging. Asking why. Making comments that they’ve noticed you online. Pushing to make meets happen… etc etc.
Then if you try and politely decline or explain that their behaviour has made you change your mind, it usually results in begging messages or abuse. |
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"Anyone enlighten me what this clingy message stuff is? From what I know you're messaging each other or someone is spam messaging you without reply.
If you're messaging each other there's some kind of interest (whatever it is), if there's non, you don't or you're not interested.
What's the clingy stuff? Does I've found someone, you're not my type, not what I'm after, block, not work?
Clingy stuff - it’s usually when someone IS your type, but they are impatient and possessive if you don’t reply to them immediately. Double or triple messaging. Asking why. Making comments that they’ve noticed you online. Pushing to make meets happen… etc etc.
Then if you try and politely decline or explain that their behaviour has made you change your mind, it usually results in begging messages or abuse."
So someone that is your type physically but a little unhinged? ... That's when you find out they are not your type - and you move on. |
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By (user no longer on site) 39 weeks ago
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we tend not to reply to a message until we've both had a look if its someone new.
if its someone were talking to already one or both of us may send a quick reply to keep things going
everyone has lives away from fab so cant expect an instant reply |
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