FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Play on first meet, yes or no?
Play on first meet, yes or no?
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We will very rarely, if ever play with a guy we have met that day. Does this put us in the minority? We like to have a social meeting first and actually find out if we like the guy. For us there has to be attraction and some sort of social aspect. We have had social meetings previously where we have walked away in a hurry. Can't imagine what it would be like if sex was arranged then guy turned up and our reactions were omg get him out of here.
We would prefer a long fwb than several one off wham bams, so a social aspect is important to us.
Understand some people do like sex with anyone that's fine and each to their own, we aren't judging just curious as to other people's opinions.
Happy fabbing all.
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I have had more play on the first meet meets than social meets.
Don't mind either, a good social to see if we click and build sexual tension is great, but then so can be a dive straight in kinda meet, or a combination of the two! |
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By *dc1Man
over a year ago
essex and all over the south |
I like a social first. But i have had a few socials that ended up with a play latter on. One that springs to mind was when i met a couple in a pub. We was in there for 2 hrs. He had to go but his wife stayed and i took her home. But he did admit he came along to check his wife was safe before going to work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All depends on if you feel comfortable enough…. This can be built from getting to know each other well through messaging and chatting in the phone ..if you feel you could have sex from there then go with your gut…. But if there’s doubts …. Meet socially and see…. There’s no stopping a play after the social  |
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As I say on my profile I insist on a social meet.
That's a dealbreaker as far as I'm concerned.
I have been pressured by a few couples over the years to meet without one or insisting that I book an hotel close to the coffee shop so we could play immediately after.
I don't do that and that has annoyed some people.
I'm extremely fussy who I choose to get naked with and anyone suggesting playing on a first meet will just bring the conversation to a swift conclusion. |
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We insist on a social meets 1st as she does like to get to know the person or people before anything sexual happens but there has been afew times in the past where we've met and played on a 1st meet all depends of the chemistry ?? but each to their own and we don't do clubs either and so our options are now very limited nowadays so cuts down on us meeting anyone as we won't ever promise sex nor do we think people should feel under any pressure to do so ! and all down top being respectful to everyone though ! aslong as everyone is happy and having fun ....xx |
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By *att71Man
over a year ago
Bristol |
I have done both, really depends on the chemistry you have before hand, is it lets over coffee or is it i know and lets not mess about.
Sometimes the social element is meeting on here and sorting the meet is it not?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've done both in the past. Living where I do, it's not always possible to have a social first as I'm miles from a lot of people. I would have chatted quite a while before travelling to meet them though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes every time - life is too short and hard to organise to drive for 1-2 hours for a coffee and natter - I'm not looking for a friend.. Just a great fuck  |
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By *ister_EMan
over a year ago
Hayling Island |
Most of my socials have ended up with us engaging in some form of play if not turning into a full blown meet.... But it's never expected or taken for granted and o lying viewed a a lovely bonus!  |
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Most of my meets have a social aspect to them.
Couples who I meet for a drink tend to be people I’ve chatted to & become personal with before actually meeting, so there is already something there, and most times the social is so we all have the chance to say thanks but no thanks luckily I’ve never had that happen and has resulted in same day / evening play.
Socials aren’t for everyone, as we’re all looking for something slightly different from this adventure |
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We never do social meets with single guys and the ones we organise are always meet to fuck. But, we do meet guys in clubs and don’t play so those could be considered social. That said; we don’t don’t organise that way and never will. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes and no depends on how I am feeling
Like sometimes we don’t connect kink wise and looking for different things in that department
But why say no to some vinnla sex so off to the hotel room for a couple off hours one time deal
Sometimes no if say we connect on all levels and I know we see each other again |
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We have a social first but if that social goes well we do like to go on to play straight away. We always tell our prospective guests to leave the afternoon clear just in case. And as we live only 5 mins from our social venue we can continue the flirting on route |
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It’s each to their own.
I think you’ll find a good mix of both.
I don’t do regular, or socials.
So for me, as long as we are into the same things and find each other ridiculously attractive looks/ body wise then that’s all I’m here for.
Just stick to your boundaries. If you want socials first make sure you do.
There’s something for everyone on here  |
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Habe some various different experiences here...
Met at hers with no social and she turned out to be nothing at all like she was in the pictures. Awkward as fuck.
Met and had a social and we got on so well, it progressed to carnal activity once the s were downed.
Met for a social and we both didn't click at all and it was really awkward. Both probably playing it too safe.
Social, got on really well but not taken any further.
Lesson learned...have a social. |
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Sometimes you can meet someone at a club/party, I don't play with them but it could lead to something at a later date.
Other than that it's rare for me to have a social then, have a play date later.
But I have had socials which turn into play dates.
If I'm communicating consistently and leaving a good impression, it usually turns into a play on the first meet.
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I prefer to meet for a social first. No expectations for either side, and if there's no spark, just go our separate ways. I'd rather 'lose' 30 minutes in a coffee shop, than waste an entire evening.
A high percentage of my first meets have ended with play though, as I've generally built a rapport through messaging beforehand.... |
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Meeting someone from fab - we generally message quite a lot first so get a good idea of each other. When we do meet it's always for drinks first but with the intention to play also. If ever we didn't feel a spark we would just say so and not take it any further- luckily not happened as of yet 
S xxxx |
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We always meet people for a drink and chat first to make sure the vibe is right and we all click. Once we’ve established that we’re all happy and comfortable, play is definitely the next step for us. We do spend a long time chatting before we even arrange to meet though and then we’ll be chatting over drinks for a couple of hours or more before we head to a bed room together. Saying that, one of the very best meets we have had was with a guy we started chatting to and then met the next day. We spent a while in the bar and then headed up to our hotel room and it was such a fantastic experience. Some times you can talk to people for months and then when you actually meet, there’s no chemistry. Other times you can have a day of messaging, meet in person and instantly feel comfortable.
C x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just a social meet first is always best, bit of flirting and chatting without the pressure to preform later makes the meeting more enjoyable. "
This is my style. I like to enjoy the coffee, and the person without pressure.
If we walk away desiring devouring one another, let’s plan for that to take place another time. |
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For me it depends
I rarely meet 121 now, but sometimes the chemistry is so strong that it does happen first time we meet.
That’s why I now prefer to meet in clubs. We have a drink, socialise and what happens next depends on the vibe. |
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Social first, but often with an opportunity to move to play if it's right.
No expectation, or obligation.
It's meet as a social, but be within a reasonable distance of somewhere we can play, or meet on a club night.
We've found that finding dates for Fab fun is difficult enough, without needing several free dates to progress to play. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Social first, but often with an opportunity to move to play if it's right.
No expectation, or obligation.
It's meet as a social, but be within a reasonable distance of somewhere we can play, or meet on a club night.
We've found that finding dates for Fab fun is difficult enough, without needing several free dates to progress to play."
A pragmatic approach. I tend to aim for a social with an opportunity to play, but with no obligation. |
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By *hiversMan
over a year ago
Dinas Powys |
"If there's a decent connection there then I would play on first meet "
This. If it was strictly a social only that's cool, but otherwise if both (or all) parties are up for it then yeah, I would and have played on a first meet. |
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By *eaSlutsCouple
over a year ago
Glasgow |
It all depends on the environment for us. There needs to be some degree of connection for us to play. We've played on our first meets, but that has usually been preceded by either a lengthy group chat via text or a social setting, like in a club.
We aren't interested in a "wham bam" type meet where we know nothing about the person etc. |
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This has been something of a point of confusion and frustration for us at times, albeit we respect everyone's right to make these decisions for themselves.
The short answer is yes, we do play on the first meet, if the feeling is right.
We make it clear before every first encounter that nothing is promised; but nothing is barred either when it comes to it. If the mood is right we will proposition, if it's not we will thank them for a lovely evening and that will be that.
For us a meet is effectively a date; and I suspect there are very few of us who can honestly say we have never fucked on a first date or had a one night stand. At the end of the day we're all swingers and we have never understood why as swingers we would place a higher bar to sex than we would do in the dating scene.
Its also for us a practical question - We have limited and fairly rigid time availability away from the family. If we arrange something and there's good chemistry the odds are decent that there won't be a month or two onwards by the time the next opportunity arises. |
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"If the vibe is right then why not? "
I agree this is important as need to ask what like or not. As a generalisation my best meets did not happen when sleep with straight away. I have however had a lot of fun sleeping on first meet when it suited all of us. Most of my meets on here have been like that and enjoyed |
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"I played on a 1st meet with a bloke , 7 yrs later I married him . We've been together 10yrs . We normally have social first nowadays "
Same as Sammi and I. We met, fucked 15 minutes later (for much longer than 15 minutes to clarify…!) and 6 years later, married |
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