FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do you see Fab as a dating site?
Do you see Fab as a dating site?
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We got chatting to a lovely couple a few weeks ago. They're poly, while we're simple swingers, but they made it clear that they weren't looking for a relationship, they just wanted to play with a couple that they had a connection with. Which is fine.
So we've spent the past few weeks chatting with them on WhatsApp, finally met them last night (for a non-sexual getting-to-know-each-other, which, again, is fine), and have just been told that they didn't really feel a connection, but would just like to remain friends.
Now, obviously I'm not going to tell them to get fucked for wasting our time, but I kinda feel like they have.
We made our profile on here because we want to play around and have fun, and isn't that what Fab is about? It's a hook up site, right, not a dating site?
As an additional grumble, why is it so hard to find a couple to play with? |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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Got a question, would there be a reason why a woman would tell a guy that he should date when she herself chooses not to date? Just want to know why a woman would give advise that she doesn't follow |
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I think primarily it is a swingers site and as such it’s for meets etc.. there are plenty of vanilla dating sites out there.
I would be frustrated too if I’d spent ages chatting to a couple for them to state further down the line they’re not interested in the sexier side of things.. being upfront saves everyone time and effort.. I appreciate anyone can change their mind though..
However if a profile states clearly what they’re wanting from fab then I guess you make of it whatever you want.. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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Valentine’s Day is coming up, I’m a single dude who would love a proper date. 
Nobody dates anymore. … or nobody wants to date me anymore.  
I’ve asked to women direct this year, both declined, one woman is on Fab.
So with extensive research, I’ve done for you, some people are not using it as a dating site,  |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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I came back to fab specifically because I knew it wasn't.. even though for the first time I'm not opposed to socials. I hope that won't change, but yours is a bit of a cautionary tale
Remain friends? Dunno, I imagine I'd have to have a damn good reason |
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I've never understood people on here who claim they need a connection. The whole point (for us) is about expanding our sexual experiences. Needing a connection makes this about so much more than sex. The best sex on a purely physical aspect can be with someone you'd never want to socialise with.
Each to their own, but we are on your team here! |
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"I've never understood people on here who claim they need a connection. The whole point (for us) is about expanding our sexual experiences. Needing a connection makes this about so much more than sex. The best sex on a purely physical aspect can be with someone you'd never want to socialise with.
Each to their own, but we are on your team here! "
You have each other for the intimacy. Some of us prefer to not just be a warm body with useful holes.
If I just wanted a dick in me I could use a dildo and not bother shaving my legs.
|
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Now I can't tell if I have enough of an attraction/connection with someone until I meet them, I need a face and personality so socials 1st always - now there's times that attraction in person isn't there and I'll say thanks but not for me, am I wasting their time? Absolutely not, why should I just fuck them regardless because we had a social? If the attraction isn't there it isn't there.
Mrs |
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"I've never understood people on here who claim they need a connection. The whole point (for us) is about expanding our sexual experiences. Needing a connection makes this about so much more than sex. The best sex on a purely physical aspect can be with someone you'd never want to socialise with.
Each to their own, but we are on your team here!
You have each other for the intimacy. Some of us prefer to not just be a warm body with useful holes.
If I just wanted a dick in me I could use a dildo and not bother shaving my legs.
"
That makes lots of sense as a single on here, I definitely understand that. I think for couples it's different, it's much more like scratching an itch, and I actually find it weird if a couple want a connection with someone. But maybe that's because I'm not remotely Poly. |
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Fab is a 2 in one site. You have swinging couples and singles. The singles are here to have fun and maybe even hook up with another single and the couples are here for sex (mainly). A poly couple would be a red flag to us, we're just here to fuck and have fun. |
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"I've never understood people on here who claim they need a connection. The whole point (for us) is about expanding our sexual experiences. Needing a connection makes this about so much more than sex. The best sex on a purely physical aspect can be with someone you'd never want to socialise with.
Each to their own, but we are on your team here!
You have each other for the intimacy. Some of us prefer to not just be a warm body with useful holes.
If I just wanted a dick in me I could use a dildo and not bother shaving my legs.
That makes lots of sense as a single on here, I definitely understand that. I think for couples it's different, it's much more like scratching an itch, and I actually find it weird if a couple want a connection with someone. But maybe that's because I'm not remotely Poly. "
How do you decide who you have sex with? |
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For us, not a dating site.
Don't want a date or anything resembling a relationship, just recreational sex.
Would we meet a single guy or a couple more than once, absolutely.
Would we mix the folks we have met on FAB to our vanilla friends, no.
The idea of our vanilla friends learning of our secret pastime makes me shudder with fear.
We love this scene, we meet people from outside our normal friendship group.
Love the socials, parties and holidays where swingers are involved.
It can be a pain when single guys, mainly ones with very little experience of swinging, seem to think I would want to meet them for a "coffee" without Paul.
That's a quick no from me.
Upfront honesty is always the best policy, saves any misunderstanding and hurt.
 |
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"Fab is a 2 in one site. You have swinging couples and singles. The singles are here to have fun and maybe even hook up with another single and the couples are here for sex (mainly). A poly couple would be a red flag to us, we're just here to fuck and have fun."
I don't think it's as binary as that.
I'm not looking for a relationship or a fuck. I need to feel lust to have sex and I don't get that feeling purely from photos.
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I don't see it as a one option site. You can find people here for more types of engagement that people enjoy. And we can want different things over time
It does help to know what you want, to communicate it clearly and to adhere to engaging with others in ways that are more conducive to satisfying your objectivesm
If things don't quite workout as you want, review your tactics and adjust |
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"For us, not a dating site.
Don't want a date or anything resembling a relationship, just recreational sex.
Would we meet a single guy or a couple more than once, absolutely.
Would we mix the folks we have met on FAB to our vanilla friends, no.
The idea of our vanilla friends learning of our secret pastime makes me shudder with fear.
We love this scene, we meet people from outside our normal friendship group.
Love the socials, parties and holidays where swingers are involved.
It can be a pain when single guys, mainly ones with very little experience of swinging, seem to think I would want to meet them for a "coffee" without Paul.
That's a quick no from me.
Upfront honesty is always the best policy, saves any misunderstanding and hurt.
"
Thats so true about the single guys! Some just don't get it and seem to think the woman needs 'saving' and is unhappy. It always makes us laugh, we have had a few of those . |
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"Fab is a 2 in one site. You have swinging couples and singles. The singles are here to have fun and maybe even hook up with another single and the couples are here for sex (mainly). A poly couple would be a red flag to us, we're just here to fuck and have fun.
I don't think it's as binary as that.
I'm not looking for a relationship or a fuck. I need to feel lust to have sex and I don't get that feeling purely from photos.
"
Does anyone get a lust feeling from photos though? (Not including single guys obviously!) But thats where parties and clubs come in. Fab is okay for the initial contact but you don't know if you click until you meet. |
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People can use Fab as they see fit.
Obviously the couple didn't feel enough of a connection with you upon meeting you in person to want to have sex with you. That's honesty, not time wasting.
You went on a social that was mutually understood to be non-sexual hoping for something to come of it. It didn't, and that's ok. It happens. I'd much rather that someone who wasn't into me was honest about it rather than just put out for the sake of a fuck.
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It could be a polite way of saying they didnt feel
a sexual attraction but wanted to be polite. I would love to meet someone on here as i have been in swinging and vanilla relationships and can no longer do the latter. |
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What you describe isn't what happened. They weren't looking for a date but when they met you they didn't want to have sex with you. They were letting you down gently by suggesting staying friends. Maybe they genuinely meant it! However with fab couples meets if you want a social before anything else then you should do it asap so as not to waste time or get too invested if it's going nowhere. |
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Zero judgements but we kind of get it, we’ve been on here over 6 years and whilst we want to meet people to “play”, we wouldn’t jump in to bed without some kind of social or date first to establish if there’s a connection beyond the pics and initial messages.
So, in this case don’t have an issue with their approach at all, in fact we’d prefer it. Whilst time is limited, and we can testify to that with family/life commitments, we’d always want to meet people first before any intimacy took place. We’ve found some other sites to be a bit better for this approach, equally if you just want a hookup then made it super clear upfront so people like us know not to apply!!  |
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"Now I can't tell if I have enough of an attraction/connection with someone until I meet them, I need a face and personality so socials 1st always - now there's times that attraction in person isn't there and I'll say thanks but not for me, am I wasting their time? Absolutely not, why should I just fuck them regardless because we had a social? If the attraction isn't there it isn't there.
Mrs "
Agreed - need a connection and sexual attraction for me to play.
Don't see socials as time wasting at all. Although I have had some and the other person clearly thought it was a guaranteed shag.
|
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"Now I can't tell if I have enough of an attraction/connection with someone until I meet them, I need a face and personality so socials 1st always - now there's times that attraction in person isn't there and I'll say thanks but not for me, am I wasting their time? Absolutely not, why should I just fuck them regardless because we had a social? If the attraction isn't there it isn't there.
Mrs
Agreed - need a connection and sexual attraction for me to play.
Don't see socials as time wasting at all. Although I have had some and the other person clearly thought it was a guaranteed shag.
"
Totally agree with this |
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I thought that this wasn’t a dating site until I ended up in a relationship with a guy from here.
It didn’t work out but I have found online dating rather horrific.
I’m not saying I just want to date I’m saying I haven’t closed the door on it if I meet the right person.
At least meeting someone on here I can be my total self. |
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By *orny-DJMan 50 weeks ago
Leigh-on-Sea |
For the sake of perspective OP, let's say I met up with you for a social and you decided that you weren't interested in playing or taking things further. Would you think it fair if I branded you a timewaster?
Surely the whole purpose of meeting up for an initial social is to see if there is a connection and if the interest is mutual.
After all, you agreed to the social. |
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"Now I can't tell if I have enough of an attraction/connection with someone until I meet them, I need a face and personality so socials 1st always - now there's times that attraction in person isn't there and I'll say thanks but not for me, am I wasting their time? Absolutely not, why should I just fuck them regardless because we had a social? If the attraction isn't there it isn't there.
Mrs
Agreed - need a connection and sexual attraction for me to play.
Don't see socials as time wasting at all. Although I have had some and the other person clearly thought it was a guaranteed shag.
"
Have to agree... there needs to be a connection for me too.
Socials aren't wasting time! Saying that, I'd probably be 80 certain I'd want to end up in bed before I considered a social. |
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"We got chatting to a lovely couple a few weeks ago. They're poly, while we're simple swingers, but they made it clear that they weren't looking for a relationship, they just wanted to play with a couple that they had a connection with. Which is fine.
So we've spent the past few weeks chatting with them on WhatsApp, finally met them last night (for a non-sexual getting-to-know-each-other, which, again, is fine), and have just been told that they didn't really feel a connection, but would just like to remain friends.
Now, obviously I'm not going to tell them to get fucked for wasting our time, but I kinda feel like they have.
We made our profile on here because we want to play around and have fun, and isn't that what Fab is about? It's a hook up site, right, not a dating site?
As an additional grumble, why is it so hard to find a couple to play with?"
Did they waste your time though? They said they wanted to play with people they had a connection with, you had a social and they didn’t feel that connection. Would you fuck someone you didn’t feel it with because you didn’t want to waste their time?
In answer to your additional grumble, it’s way harder because there are more people who need to fancy each other, especially if the couples are bi. |
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"Fab is a 2 in one site. You have swinging couples and singles. The singles are here to have fun and maybe even hook up with another single and the couples are here for sex (mainly). A poly couple would be a red flag to us, we're just here to fuck and have fun.
I don't think it's as binary as that.
I'm not looking for a relationship or a fuck. I need to feel lust to have sex and I don't get that feeling purely from photos.
Does anyone get a lust feeling from photos though? (Not including single guys obviously!) But thats where parties and clubs come in. Fab is okay for the initial contact but you don't know if you click until you meet."
Apparently, some people know they want sex with others just by looking at their photos. |
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"Fab is a 2 in one site. You have swinging couples and singles. The singles are here to have fun and maybe even hook up with another single and the couples are here for sex (mainly). A poly couple would be a red flag to us, we're just here to fuck and have fun.
I don't think it's as binary as that.
I'm not looking for a relationship or a fuck. I need to feel lust to have sex and I don't get that feeling purely from photos.
Does anyone get a lust feeling from photos though? (Not including single guys obviously!) But thats where parties and clubs come in. Fab is okay for the initial contact but you don't know if you click until you meet.
Apparently, some people know they want sex with others just by looking at their photos."
Depends, if its a single guy then yes thats pretty straight forward. If its a couple then you need that 4 way dynamic which is like gold dust |
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"If it were a true swinging site then surely it should only have couples on it? "
True but its more fun for couples if singles are here to. We only count couples as swingers and singles as a bit kinky |
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"If it were a true swinging site then surely it should only have couples on it?
True but its more fun for couples if singles are here to. We only count couples as swingers and singles as a bit kinky "
I like your thinking |
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"No not at all. If you want open minded partners for a relationship feeld exists"
Feeld is great in theory, but there's not that many people in it I've found. And half the ones that are, also have profiles on here |
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By *oxy jWoman 50 weeks ago
somerset |
no fab isd a swingers site first n foremost but there are some looking for dates ..
there should be a dating section and people looking for dates should say so so that others who are not interested can stay away...
on the forums there are a few who have fallen for someone those odds are the same anywhere you can help falling for people but you only hear from the successful you never hear from all the failed ones angain just as in normal life..
my personal view is if you look for it you wont find it swinging is a big thing to deal with in a brand new relationship some will succeed but most wont you simply cannot get a off the shelf swinging relationship it wont work so no i dont belive looking for dates is a good idea but thats my personnal opinion ...
im all for a dating section so it can be separated from people who just want to swing ...
but just think guys how hard it is to find someone to meet to swing those % go out the window for dating swinging is 100 men to 1 woman dating must be 1000 tmen to one woman if not a lot lot more so if you cant get a meet swinging then you've no chance dating...
just being realistic .... come on fab give them a dating section and then watch the car crash of men (most) moaning they cant get a date
heres another thought those men who were successful in finding love the were also successful in the swinging club / socials too...
really not trying to be horrible its just being realistic .... everyone should be happy but its just not going to happen on a very very one-sided scene where there are very few women in the first place and then add in most of the womens profiles are like l me fem halfs of already happy couples
this post is just my opinion  |
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By *oxy jWoman 50 weeks ago
somerset |
"If it were a true swinging site then surely it should only have couples on it? "
singles have always been part of this scene especially men for 3-somes there has always been low volumes of single women less so now than ever and those numbers feel like they are dropping yearly ... |
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"I've never understood people on here who claim they need a connection. The whole point (for us) is about expanding our sexual experiences. Needing a connection makes this about so much more than sex. The best sex on a purely physical aspect can be with someone you'd never want to socialise with.
Each to their own, but we are on your team here!
You have each other for the intimacy. Some of us prefer to not just be a warm body with useful holes.
If I just wanted a dick in me I could use a dildo and not bother shaving my legs.
That makes lots of sense as a single on here, I definitely understand that. I think for couples it's different, it's much more like scratching an itch, and I actually find it weird if a couple want a connection with someone. But maybe that's because I'm not remotely Poly.
How do you decide who you have sex with? "
Sex for us is a purely physical thing, about putting it in a nice cock in. If they can follow rules then we're probably fine with them. It really depends what your needs are. |
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So because they didn’t feel the connection in person you feel they wasted your time? 
People can say no at any point and it shouldn’t be a problem.
We have each other for amazing sex so why would we want mediocre sex with others?! We only want to play with people who we connect with mentally and physically.
K |
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"For us, not a dating site.
Don't want a date or anything resembling a relationship, just recreational sex.
Would we meet a single guy or a couple more than once, absolutely.
Would we mix the folks we have met on FAB to our vanilla friends, no.
The idea of our vanilla friends learning of our secret pastime makes me shudder with fear.
We love this scene, we meet people from outside our normal friendship group.
Love the socials, parties and holidays where swingers are involved.
It can be a pain when single guys, mainly ones with very little experience of swinging, seem to think I would want to meet them for a "coffee" without Paul.
That's a quick no from me.
Upfront honesty is always the best policy, saves any misunderstanding and hurt.
Thats so true about the single guys! Some just don't get it and seem to think the woman needs 'saving' and is unhappy. It always makes us laugh, we have had a few of those ."
You do certainly meet some "unusual" people at socials. |
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By *io--Man 50 weeks ago
Near Blackpool |
"No not at all. If you want open minded partners for a relationship feeld exists
Feeld is great in theory, but there's not that many people in it I've found. And half the ones that are, also have profiles on here "
I did see someone from fab on there in the brief time I had it tbf |
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"
there should be a dating section and people looking for dates should say so so that others who are not interested can stay away...
"
People who are looking for dates with other swingers can also be perfectly capable of going to a club and gangbanging thirty men.
Amazingly, people can want to be emotionally invested in people AND slut around. |
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I know many that have met thru fab and ended up in a relationship and married.
As a single women I’d rather use fab and club visits and find someone with the same interests who’s into this lifestyle and the clubs. |
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By *ojo2joWoman 50 weeks ago
Penclawdd |
"Zero judgements but we kind of get it, we’ve been on here over 6 years and whilst we want to meet people to “play”, we wouldn’t jump in to bed without some kind of social or date first to establish if there’s a connection beyond the pics and initial messages.
So, in this case don’t have an issue with their approach at all, in fact we’d prefer it. Whilst time is limited, and we can testify to that with family/life commitments, we’d always want to meet people first before any intimacy took place. We’ve found some other sites to be a bit better for this approach, equally if you just want a hookup then made it super clear upfront so people like us know not to apply!! "
Agree with this. It can feel like you have a great rapport with someone via messaging but until you see and speak in real life you just don’t know how it will go.
I spoke to someone for ages on a dating site and expected fireworks when we met but it was just awful and a big disappointment.
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"No not at all. If you want open minded partners for a relationship feeld exists
Feeld is great in theory, but there's not that many people in it I've found. And half the ones that are, also have profiles on here
I did see someone from fab on there in the brief time I had it tbf"
I’ve seen a few fabbers on Tinder.  |
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Yes nkt a dating site I agree with a connection we like to get along and have a alight with couples we meet but yeh end result is u wanna play and your right jt hard to find genuine couples that live near you lol |
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So we've spent the past few weeks chatting with them on WhatsApp, finally met them last night (for a non-sexual getting-to-know-each-other, which, again, is fine), and have just been told that they didn't really feel a connection, but would just like to remain friends.
Now, obviously I'm not going to tell them to get fucked for wasting our time, but I kinda feel like they have.
"
If you just want to play then you have to out the talkers. In my experience people who talk a lot tend to carry on talking and rarely meet. People who meet usually meet quite quickly.
I would say OP has wasted their own time by engaging with a talker. |
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"The only different between this site and other sites is that it's discussing for sex and couples can join. "
Lol you have that the wrong way round. It was started for couples but then let singles join in. |
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Surely with a couple to couple meet, there are 4 people's attractions to align. And if part of that attraction is 'connection' then it is legitimate for them not to feel it. At the same token you don't have to become friends with them. |
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I've been in a similar situation OP where we have chatted to a couple for a while both on here and by WhatsApp as we got to know them before finally meeting up in a club. We all very quickly realised that the online connection didn't transfer to a face to face situation. It just fell flat! We continued to be friends for a while but play never happened. It's just one of those things.
On a separate note several years later M and I had single profiles on here and after chatting for a couple of weeks agreed to a social to see if we would would like to arrange a play date. There was an instant connection between us and a year on we now live together!
Neither of us were looking for anything more than just sex but we just clicked!
Life can throw you when you least expect it. |
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By *jonesMan 50 weeks ago
Plymouth |
"
there should be a dating section and people looking for dates should say so so that others who are not interested can stay away...
People who are looking for dates with other swingers can also be perfectly capable of going to a club and gangbanging thirty men.
Amazingly, people can want to be emotionally invested in people AND slut around."
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"I think fabs is classed as a dating site.but to be honest I'm pretty sure 90% ppl on here are looking for just swinging fun not to date lol."
I don't think a lot of people would call themselves wingers, just a platform to get a lay. A lot of people don't care about the social thing, we don't. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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If your kink is less mainstream, then ** (can't tell you or get banned - they don't like competition here). A lot of people here would probably need therapy for some of the kinks on there. |
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"I think primarily it is a swingers site and as such it’s for meets etc.. there are plenty of vanilla dating sites out there.
I would be frustrated too if I’d spent ages chatting to a couple for them to state further down the line they’re not interested in the sexier side of things.. being upfront saves everyone time and effort.. I appreciate anyone can change their mind though..
However if a profile states clearly what they’re wanting from fab then I guess you make of it whatever you want.. "
Not everyone wants to fuck a hole w no chemistry. Just because they said remain friends does not mean they'd never fuck if the chemistry changed. It's not automatically deemed dating if there's rejection but seems that's the term thrown when you don't get to fuck on demand. |
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"
there should be a dating section and people looking for dates should say so so that others who are not interested can stay away...
People who are looking for dates with other swingers can also be perfectly capable of going to a club and gangbanging thirty men.
Amazingly, people can want to be emotionally invested in people AND slut around.
"
Exactly.. just because I like a connection doesn't mean I want to be tied down in a monogamous vanilla dating site type of expectation. It also doesn't mean I'm going to fuck you just because you messaged me at 430.. I like too much sexually so I need to trust the person's capable of fulfilling those requirements instead of face palm expression of wowwww you do all that w your mouth. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"I think primarily it is a swingers site and as such it’s for meets etc.. there are plenty of vanilla dating sites out there.
I would be frustrated too if I’d spent ages chatting to a couple for them to state further down the line they’re not interested in the sexier side of things.. being upfront saves everyone time and effort.. I appreciate anyone can change their mind though..
However if a profile states clearly what they’re wanting from fab then I guess you make of it whatever you want..
Not everyone wants to fuck a hole w no chemistry. Just because they said remain friends does not mean they'd never fuck if the chemistry changed. It's not automatically deemed dating if there's rejection but seems that's the term thrown when you don't get to fuck on demand."
No one really gives a shit about chemistry. It's about if someone is hot or not. |
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"
No one really gives a shit about chemistry. It's about if someone is hot or not. "
Plenty of us want chemistry. For me to want to swing with someone repeatedly there needs to be something interesting between their ears. |
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I’ve had a couple of socials and said after that it won’t go any further as there was no sexual chemistry there. Yes I want sex but not with just anyone, especially when knowing they don’t do it for me. Isn’t that basically what they have done. Surely you don’t expect them to fuck you if one or both of them don’t feel physically attracted. Just because I don’t have sex with everyone I meet doesn’t mean I’m looking for more |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"
No one really gives a shit about chemistry. It's about if someone is hot or not.
Plenty of us want chemistry. For me to want to swing with someone repeatedly there needs to be something interesting between their ears."
Would that matter after alcohol? |
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"
No one really gives a shit about chemistry. It's about if someone is hot or not.
Plenty of us want chemistry. For me to want to swing with someone repeatedly there needs to be something interesting between their ears.
Would that matter after alcohol?"
Decent people don’t have sex with people who have been drinking because they can’t consent. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"I’ve had a couple of socials and said after that it won’t go any further as there was no sexual chemistry there. Yes I want sex but not with just anyone, especially when knowing they don’t do it for me. Isn’t that basically what they have done. Surely you don’t expect them to fuck you if one or both of them don’t feel physically attracted. Just because I don’t have sex with everyone I meet doesn’t mean I’m looking for more"
And yet you put 'Debauchery' in your title, thats suggesting your a Harlot and ripe for plundering. Bit misleading on your part surely? If you remove that, your probably get fewer messages from all the scoundrels you have no attraction/chemistry with. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"
No one really gives a shit about chemistry. It's about if someone is hot or not.
Plenty of us want chemistry. For me to want to swing with someone repeatedly there needs to be something interesting between their ears.
Would that matter after alcohol?
Decent people don’t have sex with people who have been drinking because they can’t consent."
Decency never entered this building. |
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"I’ve had a couple of socials and said after that it won’t go any further as there was no sexual chemistry there. Yes I want sex but not with just anyone, especially when knowing they don’t do it for me. Isn’t that basically what they have done. Surely you don’t expect them to fuck you if one or both of them don’t feel physically attracted. Just because I don’t have sex with everyone I meet doesn’t mean I’m looking for more
And yet you put 'Debauchery' in your title, thats suggesting your a Harlot and ripe for plundering. Bit misleading on your part surely? If you remove that, your probably get fewer messages from all the scoundrels you have no attraction/chemistry with. "
It doesn’t work like that, they realise it’s a joke and if they read my profile they will see what I’m about, if they don’t read it then that’s on them |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"I’ve had a couple of socials and said after that it won’t go any further as there was no sexual chemistry there. Yes I want sex but not with just anyone, especially when knowing they don’t do it for me. Isn’t that basically what they have done. Surely you don’t expect them to fuck you if one or both of them don’t feel physically attracted. Just because I don’t have sex with everyone I meet doesn’t mean I’m looking for more
And yet you put 'Debauchery' in your title, thats suggesting your a Harlot and ripe for plundering. Bit misleading on your part surely? If you remove that, your probably get fewer messages from all the scoundrels you have no attraction/chemistry with.
It doesn’t work like that, they realise it’s a joke and if they read my profile they will see what I’m about, if they don’t read it then that’s on them "
Do they? Ah yes, the British way of saying one thing and meaning the complete opposite and reverse. I always hated that. Why can't people just say what they mean? |
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"I’ve had a couple of socials and said after that it won’t go any further as there was no sexual chemistry there. Yes I want sex but not with just anyone, especially when knowing they don’t do it for me. Isn’t that basically what they have done. Surely you don’t expect them to fuck you if one or both of them don’t feel physically attracted. Just because I don’t have sex with everyone I meet doesn’t mean I’m looking for more
And yet you put 'Debauchery' in your title, thats suggesting your a Harlot and ripe for plundering. Bit misleading on your part surely? If you remove that, your probably get fewer messages from all the scoundrels you have no attraction/chemistry with.
It doesn’t work like that, they realise it’s a joke and if they read my profile they will see what I’m about, if they don’t read it then that’s on them "
Totally agree you need an attraction and to get on at least to a degree. Amazing pics btw debachery, you look incredible x
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"We got chatting to a lovely couple a few weeks ago. They're poly, while we're simple swingers, but they made it clear that they weren't looking for a relationship, they just wanted to play with a couple that they had a connection with. Which is fine.
So we've spent the past few weeks chatting with them on WhatsApp, finally met them last night (for a non-sexual getting-to-know-each-other, which, again, is fine), and have just been told that they didn't really feel a connection, but would just like to remain friends.
Now, obviously I'm not going to tell them to get fucked for wasting our time, but I kinda feel like they have.
We made our profile on here because we want to play around and have fun, and isn't that what Fab is about? It's a hook up site, right, not a dating site?
As an additional grumble, why is it so hard to find a couple to play with?"
I don't see Fab as a dating sight but I don't spend ages chatting to anyone on here either.
Some people ( me) can't fuck someone without a connection and it's hard for them ( me) to make a connection ( or even know if a connection exist) over an artificial screen/device.
I mean I state this clearly in my profile but there are always people who want to skip steps and go straight to fucking but my brain doesn't work like that...even in clubs. I need to chat with people in person for a while before boinking them.
I mean if you are willing to have any kind of fuck, then maybe the clubs are for you. Getting 4 people's busy middle-aged schedules to line up is really really hard.
and you have to get 4 people to fancy each other also instead of the usual 1 or 2.
I have similar logistic issues when I try to set up non-club and non-party threesomes with men.
People in clubs are more up for anything and there's no pressure to stay in touch or give Fab verifications or even give Fab names.
There are a lot of people who play in clubs but who are not on Fab. |
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"Got a question, would there be a reason why a woman would tell a guy that he should date when she herself chooses not to date? Just want to know why a woman would give advise that she doesn't follow"
Not sure if it's advice or just a suggestion or recommendation or something to think about.
I don't date anymore. Because in my head dating means that there's some sort of commitment, responsibility, deeper bond and expection. When I dated, a lot of men wanted to come back to my home when I was in no way ready to let anyone into my home. At least with swingers it's accepted that intimacy will not necessarily be in my home or the other person's home but another neutral but safe location.
Of course, if you want sex in a particular way, then you might actually be looking for someone that you date.
There's a difference between swinger, kinky and fetish sex and the so-called girlfriend/boyfriend experience. Not to mention when jealousy and exclusivity expectations get in the way.
If I go to a club with a man, he is not under any obligation to have sex with me or have sex only with me. That's more a committed couples thing. I'm happy for any man I play with to go off and play with another man or woman after me, in addition to me or instead of me.
A lot of people in the swinger scene can exhibit possessive behavior when they are not dating or in a committed couple. |
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By (user no longer on site) 50 weeks ago
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"Next people will.be saying Tinder isn't just for casual hook ups either. Shocking revelation!"
This is what happens when things go more mainstream. Licentiousness becomes a 'lifestyle' in order to gentrify it and remove the more sordid association.
Ken and Barbie join and before you know it, everyone demands perfection to the eye. Look at the change of attitudes compared to 6-7 years ago. |
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Not everyone is for everyone,and you should appreciate that they have been both polite and honest with you, which is respectful. Its unrealistic to think that all chats and socials will lead to play times and it can lead to unnecessary expectations. We will meet with others, allowing them to decline further involvement, if they want, and hoping that they would allow us the same. |
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"Got a question, would there be a reason why a woman would tell a guy that he should date when she herself chooses not to date? Just want to know why a woman would give advise that she doesn't follow"
You’re better asking her directly aren’t you. |
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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So we've spent the past few weeks chatting with them on WhatsApp, finally met them last night (for a non-sexual getting-to-know-each-other, which, again, is fine), and have just been told that they didn't really feel a connection, but would just like to remain friends.
Now, obviously I'm not going to tell them to get fucked for wasting our time, but I kinda feel like they have.
"
Honestly i don't see how they have wasted your time? If anything it should be a lesson to meet early for a social to see if you hit it off so you can part before investing anymore time /energy if you are not feeling it.
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By (user no longer on site) 49 weeks ago
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"Not everyone is for everyone,and you should appreciate that they have been both polite and honest with you, which is respectful. Its unrealistic to think that all chats and socials will lead to play times and it can lead to unnecessary expectations. We will meet with others, allowing them to decline further involvement, if they want, and hoping that they would allow us the same."
Yeah this ^ |
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All Adult / Swinging sites are the same. Everyone is different and have their own reasons for going on to them. I think it's very important to state clearly on profiles what you are looking for and have clear up to date photos. I have, a few times, met people I wouldn't have chased if I knew them better but also met many that I thought were great and sometimes not reciprocated lol. So whether meeting just for sex or for more social / dating is an option for only you to decide.
When the Ex and I met with others it is mostly great all round but have had some very unpleasant surprises. At least one when we arrived to find they were completely different to their photo's and hygiene very bad. Just said sorry just had a call and have to cancel lol. I remember one couple we arranged to meet at a Mc Donalds and when we realised who they were we slipped out the back very quickly and blocked them lol. We soon realised we preferred men only and I would go meet them for a drink first to make sure all is good. Worked well for us. |
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