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Neurodivergent - Wonky Brained Deviants Club p11
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"Im autisic and got bpd and torrwts i was diagbosed aspergwra in 2014 and torrets and bpd last year been ahtd living knowing somat was up and relatinships are so hard for me" How do you manage on the swinging scene? Is it easier than being in relationships? | |||
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"Im autisic and got bpd and torrwts i was diagbosed aspergwra in 2014 and torrets and bpd last year been ahtd living knowing somat was up and relatinships are so hard for me How do you manage on the swinging scene? Is it easier than being in relationships? " Not met anyone since coming back .. find ut extrenly hard to get a repky cause my messages are very indepth prob overshare to much and with my spelling im rediculed alot .. iv had coupkes meets that was fun and last time i was on here 5 years ago meet a few single ladies but nothing this time round xx | |||
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"Was debating whether we need another one, it seems the hyperfocus has shifted a little. Here goes nothing.... Hey I'm kitty and I'm wonky AF how about you? "Hi Kitty  . Fellow autistic wonk here tuning in. But also alongside that, to add to the mix, am having a wacky spiritual journey. Ever since something clicked mentally for me a few years back, life hasn't been the same since (in a good way... I think lol). | |||
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"Im autisic and got bpd and torrwts i was diagbosed aspergwra in 2014 and torrets and bpd last year been ahtd living knowing somat was up and relatinships are so hard for me How do you manage on the swinging scene? Is it easier than being in relationships? Not met anyone since coming back .. find ut extrenly hard to get a repky cause my messages are very indepth prob overshare to much and with my spelling im rediculed alot .. iv had coupkes meets that was fun and last time i was on here 5 years ago meet a few single ladies but nothing this time round xx" I can imagine how frustrating that must be for you. I'm dyslexic and notice how judgemental people are with spelling ect on here. Hopefully you'll find the right people this time around. | |||
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"Was debating whether we need another one, it seems the hyperfocus has shifted a little. Here goes nothing.... Hey I'm kitty and I'm wonky AF how about you?
Hi Kitty . Fellow autistic wonk here tuning in. But also alongside that, to add to the mix, am having a wacky spiritual journey. Ever since something clicked mentally for me a few years back, life hasn't been the same since (in a good way... I think lol)."Oh that's intriguing! I'd like to know more about your spiritual journey? | |||
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"Im autisic and got bpd and torrwts i was diagbosed aspergwra in 2014 and torrets and bpd last year been ahtd living knowing somat was up and relatinships are so hard for me How do you manage on the swinging scene? Is it easier than being in relationships? Not met anyone since coming back .. find ut extrenly hard to get a repky cause my messages are very indepth prob overshare to much and with my spelling im rediculed alot .. iv had coupkes meets that was fun and last time i was on here 5 years ago meet a few single ladies but nothing this time round xx I can imagine how frustrating that must be for you. I'm dyslexic and notice how judgemental people are with spelling ect on here. Hopefully you'll find the right people this time around." Extremly judgemental especially when i say in sorry i dont see the mustakes cause iv dyslexia and i dont always proof read ahd they give me grief i feel like gping hold on do u wanna proof read ur nasty comment about my disability twonks hahah | |||
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"Im autisic and got bpd and torrwts i was diagbosed aspergwra in 2014 and torrets and bpd last year been ahtd living knowing somat was up and relatinships are so hard for me How do you manage on the swinging scene? Is it easier than being in relationships? Not met anyone since coming back .. find ut extrenly hard to get a repky cause my messages are very indepth prob overshare to much and with my spelling im rediculed alot .. iv had coupkes meets that was fun and last time i was on here 5 years ago meet a few single ladies but nothing this time round xx I can imagine how frustrating that must be for you. I'm dyslexic and notice how judgemental people are with spelling ect on here. Hopefully you'll find the right people this time around. Extremly judgemental especially when i say in sorry i dont see the mustakes cause iv dyslexia and i dont always proof read ahd they give me grief i feel like gping hold on do u wanna proof read ur nasty comment about my disability twonks hahah " Haha I wouldn't blame you  | |||
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"Hey guys, Long time no see, but I have been struggling immensely lately. I have fucked up a really nice thing that has happened to me in the last years and I feel there is truly no hope. This time I know is not only the RSD talking, I keep actively self-sabotaging myself and feel like I've lost something that was TRULY worthy of me trying better. I don't know what to do now, I feel so lost and empty..." Christmas is often a tough time. A lot has to do with the out of routine. A lot of wonky brained people love structure and regular process and Xmas / New Year kinda messes that up We all have the sense of sometimes fooking something up. Your best bet is to try and deal with the issue and hold hands up What ever it is - I hope your able to sort it  | |||
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"Hey guys, Long time no see, but I have been struggling immensely lately. I have fucked up a really nice thing that has happened to me in the last years and I feel there is truly no hope. This time I know is not only the RSD talking, I keep actively self-sabotaging myself and feel like I've lost something that was TRULY worthy of me trying better. I don't know what to do now, I feel so lost and empty... Christmas is often a tough time. A lot has to do with the out of routine. A lot of wonky brained people love structure and regular process and Xmas / New Year kinda messes that up We all have the sense of sometimes fooking something up. Your best bet is to try and deal with the issue and hold hands up What ever it is - I hope your able to sort it "Thanks for taking the time to reply. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with lack of structure as my routine doesn't change over the holidays period. I truly hope it gets better, because I am losing hope in everything at the moment. | |||
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"Hey guys, Long time no see, but I have been struggling immensely lately. I have fucked up a really nice thing that has happened to me in the last years and I feel there is truly no hope. This time I know is not only the RSD talking, I keep actively self-sabotaging myself and feel like I've lost something that was TRULY worthy of me trying better. I don't know what to do now, I feel so lost and empty... Christmas is often a tough time. A lot has to do with the out of routine. A lot of wonky brained people love structure and regular process and Xmas / New Year kinda messes that up We all have the sense of sometimes fooking something up. Your best bet is to try and deal with the issue and hold hands up What ever it is - I hope your able to sort it
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with lack of structure as my routine doesn't change over the holidays period.
I truly hope it gets better, because I am losing hope in everything at the moment."Hi, I'm not entirely sure how to word what I want to say but I do know that posting it on the forum wouldnt be the greatest of ideas. I will say that your post has truely touched me and made me feel..., I would rather chat in private messages but I have just sent a wink incase you dont feel like chatting to someone that's not only a bit wonky, but wonky and defective (I should have a been a product recall) | |||
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"Hey guys, Long time no see, but I have been struggling immensely lately. I have fucked up a really nice thing that has happened to me in the last years and I feel there is truly no hope. This time I know is not only the RSD talking, I keep actively self-sabotaging myself and feel like I've lost something that was TRULY worthy of me trying better. I don't know what to do now, I feel so lost and empty..." Soooo sprry ur not so good atm and lifes kickijg u a bit i oray it turns for u and u start to feel better and happier .. where all here if u ever feel lonely xx | |||
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"Hey guys, Long time no see, but I have been struggling immensely lately. I have fucked up a really nice thing that has happened to me in the last years and I feel there is truly no hope. This time I know is not only the RSD talking, I keep actively self-sabotaging myself and feel like I've lost something that was TRULY worthy of me trying better. I don't know what to do now, I feel so lost and empty..." Oh lovely! I did notice you hadn't been around. Sad to hear life is kicking your arse at the moment. I wish I had some words of wisdom for when the wonk starts causing havoc but I'm still trying to figure that out myself. Are you managing to do the things you enjoy? A tip for self care....have you heard of the insight timer app? It's like calm and head space ect but sooo much better and more in depth, it has lots of different categories such as freedom from suffering. You can follow the teachers and other people on the app. There's courses and live sessions too. It's free but there's an option to upgrade for £50 per year. I'm doing the build healthy habits challenge at the moment, it explores different types of mindfulness for 31 days, each day you have a sample of a different technique. Today I'm on affirmations but looking forward to tomorrow as it's sound healing, which I think is working well for me! Never thought I'd find anything that would help me relax but it seems like I've found the one. | |||
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"Hi everyone, I'm getting assessed this Monday, it will be over the phone: not ideal. But they'v promised not to bounce me back to the dragons (GP receptionists), but to refer me on themselves. Wish me luck. I've also read an interesting site that's a really good read. It's from Icy health "comprehending different types of neurodiversity" search for this and it explains a lot I never knew." Good luck! 
Ooh I'll check that out. | |||
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"Hi everyone, I'm getting assessed this Monday, it will be over the phone: not ideal. But they'v promised not to bounce me back to the dragons (GP receptionists), but to refer me on themselves. Wish me luck. I've also read an interesting site that's a really good read. It's from Icy health "comprehending different types of neurodiversity" search for this and it explains a lot I never knew. Good luck!
Ooh I'll check that out. "Thanks | |||
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"Hey guys, Long time no see, but I have been struggling immensely lately. I have fucked up a really nice thing that has happened to me in the last years and I feel there is truly no hope. This time I know is not only the RSD talking, I keep actively self-sabotaging myself and feel like I've lost something that was TRULY worthy of me trying better. I don't know what to do now, I feel so lost and empty... Christmas is often a tough time. A lot has to do with the out of routine. A lot of wonky brained people love structure and regular process and Xmas / New Year kinda messes that up We all have the sense of sometimes fooking something up. Your best bet is to try and deal with the issue and hold hands up What ever it is - I hope your able to sort it
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with lack of structure as my routine doesn't change over the holidays period.
I truly hope it gets better, because I am losing hope in everything at the moment."Honestly am sorry to hear you're dealing with all this at the moment. As I can't change anything in the physical world for you unfortunately, the only thing I feel that has some sort of value to add to the subject matter, is that all of this is transient. Nothing stays the same forever, so just keep looking forward to new shifts in daily living. I have done some self-sabotaging in the past, but what I've learned, is focus on where you are at right now and what you CAN do within yourself to make you're life what you need it to be. It's hard no doubt about that, but all you got is yourself, so be kind to yourself and take each day, or moment even as it comes. Sending virtual hugs. x | |||
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"I'm John kanaka, I'm as wonky brained as fuck. Having taken the lead role in '2022: the year I discovered I was ASD' I have recently started work on the sequal '2033: what the fuck do you mean, I'm ADHD as well?'" I look forward to your future entry "2034: _______ as well? Bring it the fuck on!" | |||
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"Hi everyone, I'm getting assessed this Monday, it will be over the phone: not ideal. But they'v promised not to bounce me back to the dragons (GP receptionists), but to refer me on themselves. Wish me luck. I've also read an interesting site that's a really good read. It's from Icy health "comprehending different types of neurodiversity" search for this and it explains a lot I never knew." the UK college of policing has an in depth glossary of terms too, called "Neurodiversity glossary of terms" | |||
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"I'm John kanaka, I'm as wonky brained as fuck. Having taken the lead role in '2022: the year I discovered I was ASD' I have recently started work on the sequal '2033: what the fuck do you mean, I'm ADHD as well?' I look forward to your future entry "2034: _______ as well? Bring it the fuck on!""  love it!
Has anyone got any physical problems that can be linked to neurodivergence? Or appear to have more of an impact on ND people? Such as autoimmune diseases, fibromyalgia and EDS? Ect
If anything is queried for me nowadays I always check to see how it affects ND people and if we're more likely to have the conditions/illnesses.
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"I'm John kanaka, I'm as wonky brained as fuck. Having taken the lead role in '2022: the year I discovered I was ASD' I have recently started work on the sequal '2033: what the fuck do you mean, I'm ADHD as well?' I look forward to your future entry "2034: _______ as well? Bring it the fuck on!" love it!
Has anyone got any physical problems that can be linked to neurodivergence? Or appear to have more of an impact on ND people? Such as autoimmune diseases, fibromyalgia and EDS? Ect
If anything is queried for me nowadays I always check to see how it affects ND people and if we're more likely to have the conditions/illnesses.
"Not sure. I have ASD, dyspraxia, asthma and have had significant hearing loss since childhood, but I'm not convinced that those things are particularly linked. Some of us just win the shit lottery multiple times. | |||
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"I'm John kanaka, I'm as wonky brained as fuck. Having taken the lead role in '2022: the year I discovered I was ASD' I have recently started work on the sequal '2033: what the fuck do you mean, I'm ADHD as well?' I look forward to your future entry "2034: _______ as well? Bring it the fuck on!" love it!
Has anyone got any physical problems that can be linked to neurodivergence? Or appear to have more of an impact on ND people? Such as autoimmune diseases, fibromyalgia and EDS? Ect
If anything is queried for me nowadays I always check to see how it affects ND people and if we're more likely to have the conditions/illnesses.
"I have GI problems, it may be linked to severe (almost hospitalised) food poisoning some years ago damaging my stomach lining. But exercise is definitely a trigger and I follow an autistic ironman triathlete (Sam Holness, utter legend) and he has posted about GI issues and them being linked to ASD so I'm questioning that at the moment myself | |||
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"I'm John kanaka, I'm as wonky brained as fuck. Having taken the lead role in '2022: the year I discovered I was ASD' I have recently started work on the sequal '2033: what the fuck do you mean, I'm ADHD as well?' I look forward to your future entry "2034: _______ as well? Bring it the fuck on!" love it!
Has anyone got any physical problems that can be linked to neurodivergence? Or appear to have more of an impact on ND people? Such as autoimmune diseases, fibromyalgia and EDS? Ect
If anything is queried for me nowadays I always check to see how it affects ND people and if we're more likely to have the conditions/illnesses.
Not sure. I have ASD, dyspraxia, asthma and have had significant hearing loss since childhood, but I'm not convinced that those things are particularly linked. Some of us just win the shit lottery multiple times."I have asthma, well it! Apparently I've grown out of it now. There is info out there that suggests asthma and allergies are linked. I've had persistent high inflammatory markers in my bloods but as it's non specific they can't get to the bottom of it. | |||
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" I have GI problems, it may be linked to severe (almost hospitalised) food poisoning some years ago damaging my stomach lining. But exercise is definitely a trigger and I follow an autistic ironman triathlete (Sam Holness, utter legend) and he has posted about GI issues and them being linked to ASD so I'm questioning that at the moment myself" This is one I missed out but there's a fair amount of info on GI problems in autism. In the back of my mind I think I've read something about serotonin in the gut too (damn my rubbish memory) Can't help but feel they are only scratching the surface when it comes to neurodivergence. | |||
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"Thanks to everyone that took a minute to give me tips and try to cheer me up. I’m not going to lie, I’m still struggling a lot, trying to fix what I’ve broken, but I don’t have much hope. Thanks again for your words of encouragement "Aww lovely! It sounds like you need to take each day as it comes  | |||
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"I'm Sophie and broadly wonky "I like broadly wonky | |||
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"Thanks to everyone that took a minute to give me tips and try to cheer me up. I’m not going to lie, I’m still struggling a lot, trying to fix what I’ve broken, but I don’t have much hope. Thanks again for your words of encouragement "Hey Cherry, I dip in and out of these threads but when I saw your post I couldn't skip past it. Sometimes things can be fixed and they're stronger than ever before, more beautiful (a la kintsugi). We catastrophise things in our head, try and fix things when sometimes we just need to stop, breathe and let it be. See what happens. Things are nuanced and maybe, just maybe, they'll work out for the best. Equally, sometimes they can't be. But you're trying, whatever happens. And I hope you find the courage and strength to keep doing what your heart tells you to do. x | |||
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"I'm still here and wonkiness is my strength. Formally diagnosed with Aspergers, ADHD, Dyspraxia. Previously misdiagnosed with 2 personality disorders. Self-diagnosed with pathological cynicism and age related grumpiness. "Good to see you're still around can't believe you're grumpy though! Haha It's a case of age related impatience for me so far, now at the stage where I can't help toe tapping whilst I'm being made to wait, I'm Sure I wasn't that bad before  Rod is the same though so it's not great when we're in a queue together | |||
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"I'm John kanaka, I'm as wonky brained as fuck. Having taken the lead role in '2022: the year I discovered I was ASD' I have recently started work on the sequal '2033: what the fuck do you mean, I'm ADHD as well?' I look forward to your future entry "2034: _______ as well? Bring it the fuck on!" love it!
Has anyone got any physical problems that can be linked to neurodivergence? Or appear to have more of an impact on ND people? Such as autoimmune diseases, fibromyalgia and EDS? Ect
If anything is queried for me nowadays I always check to see how it affects ND people and if we're more likely to have the conditions/illnesses.
Not sure. I have ASD, dyspraxia, asthma and have had significant hearing loss since childhood, but I'm not convinced that those things are particularly linked. Some of us just win the shit lottery multiple times."Speaking from my recent diagnosis...asthma, the exercised induced variety turned out to be four separate conditions: long term heart burn, dysfunctional breathing, deviated septum (improved a bit after surgery). and a dust allergy. The breathing, even at rest was double the norm, so my CO2 levels were too high, this in turn affects the my depression and in turn somatically alters my abdomen's rise rate. I also have diverticulitis Pitted bowel (similar to IBS) So, yes the stomach, diaphragm and gut can, will and do have an effect on your brain. Think car, think timing belt, think poor fuel economy, think bloody expensive repairs and fuel bills. | |||
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"Thanks to everyone that took a minute to give me tips and try to cheer me up. I’m not going to lie, I’m still struggling a lot, trying to fix what I’ve broken, but I don’t have much hope. Thanks again for your words of encouragement
Aww lovely! It sounds like you need to take each day as it comes "I suppose I do, I struggle very much to do so, though  | |||
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"Thanks to everyone that took a minute to give me tips and try to cheer me up. I’m not going to lie, I’m still struggling a lot, trying to fix what I’ve broken, but I don’t have much hope. Thanks again for your words of encouragement
Aww lovely! It sounds like you need to take each day as it comes
I suppose I do, I struggle very much to do so, though " we need to find something to help you through the day lovely. Could you revisit things that used to make you happy? Or look at exploring new things? I know that can take a lot of energy and motivation though.
Maybe writing your thoughts down and placing the paper into some water, there's something quite cathartic about watching the words disappear. | |||
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"Thanks to everyone that took a minute to give me tips and try to cheer me up. I’m not going to lie, I’m still struggling a lot, trying to fix what I’ve broken, but I don’t have much hope. Thanks again for your words of encouragement
Aww lovely! It sounds like you need to take each day as it comes
I suppose I do, I struggle very much to do so, though
we need to find something to help you through the day lovely. Could you revisit things that used to make you happy? Or look at exploring new things? I know that can take a lot of energy and motivation though.
Maybe writing your thoughts down and placing the paper into some water, there's something quite cathartic about watching the words disappear. "It sounds like a good idea, but I’m already doing most of those things and the feeling I’m not doing enough or not being enough is still in the back of my mind constantly. I know it will pass, it’s just making me so incredibly sad and reinforcing the catastrophic thought that I’m not worthy of good things happening to me | |||
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"Thanks to everyone that took a minute to give me tips and try to cheer me up. I’m not going to lie, I’m still struggling a lot, trying to fix what I’ve broken, but I don’t have much hope. Thanks again for your words of encouragement
Aww lovely! It sounds like you need to take each day as it comes
I suppose I do, I struggle very much to do so, though
we need to find something to help you through the day lovely. Could you revisit things that used to make you happy? Or look at exploring new things? I know that can take a lot of energy and motivation though.
Maybe writing your thoughts down and placing the paper into some water, there's something quite cathartic about watching the words disappear.
It sounds like a good idea, but I’m already doing most of those things and the feeling I’m not doing enough or not being enough is still in the back of my mind constantly. I know it will pass, it’s just making me so incredibly sad and reinforcing the catastrophic thought that I’m not worthy of good things happening to me "Ruminating thoughts are so difficult to deal with. That parrot on your shoulder needs covering up, stick a bag on his head every time he kicks your ass and tell him to do one you are worthy of good things! | |||
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"Went to the doctor for my appointment to get a referral yesterday. Doctor was lovely, feels good to be believed and has helped somewhat with the imposter syndrome. 2 year waiting list at minimum though. I knew it was going to be long, but hearing it in words was hard." It's nice to hear your doctor was willing to listen. How frustrating that waiting lists are so long  I know of a doctor that had to wait 5 years for an autism assessment! It's just rediculous.
The most important thing is realising that you have differences and trying to find healthy coping mechanisms so you can flourish in the meantime and going forward. The assessment is just confirmation really, unless you are querying ADHD, in that case there's an option to potentially try meditation.
Good luck | |||
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"Was debating whether we need another one, it seems the hyperfocus has shifted a little. Here goes nothing.... Hey I'm kitty and I'm wonky AF how about you?
Hi Kitty . Fellow autistic wonk here tuning in. But also alongside that, to add to the mix, am having a wacky spiritual journey. Ever since something clicked mentally for me a few years back, life hasn't been the same since (in a good way... I think lol).
Oh that's intriguing! I'd like to know more about your spiritual journey? "Well it came apparent when I was much younger, but in recent years it's certainly come more intense. I can go into more detail with it if you'd like. But in essence, my awareness has deepened, making the world look sharper/clearer and kind of like I'm in a movie lol. My life is more peaceful, as I've found a deeper clarity and understanding within myself, and my life is a bit more simpler, because of that clarity and understanding on a deeper level. | |||
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"Was debating whether we need another one, it seems the hyperfocus has shifted a little. Here goes nothing.... Hey I'm kitty and I'm wonky AF how about you?
Hi Kitty . Fellow autistic wonk here tuning in. But also alongside that, to add to the mix, am having a wacky spiritual journey. Ever since something clicked mentally for me a few years back, life hasn't been the same since (in a good way... I think lol).
Oh that's intriguing! I'd like to know more about your spiritual journey?
Well it came apparent when I was much younger, but in recent years it's certainly come more intense. I can go into more detail with it if you'd like. But in essence, my awareness has deepened, making the world look sharper/clearer and kind of like I'm in a movie lol. My life is more peaceful, as I've found a deeper clarity and understanding within myself, and my life is a bit more simpler, because of that clarity and understanding on a deeper level."How interesting! I love to hear things like this! I'm sure we must have other abilities that NT don't necessarily have, otherwise it's just not fair haha. My Mother has a what seems like a sixth sense, or maybe she is really good with pattern spotting! she usually can predict things pretty well. Unfortunately no lottery numbers yet though
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" Ruminating thoughts are so difficult to deal with. That parrot on your shoulder needs covering up, stick a bag on his head every time he kicks your ass and tell him to do one you are worthy of good things! "Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support. I’m pretty sure everyone knows the feeling of overthinking and catastrophic thoughts here. I’m trying my best, I really am, somehow it feels like it’s not enough….it never is
I’m trying to put all your advice to good use, hopefully my racing thoughts and catastrophic thinking won’t spoil things for me any further | |||
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" Ruminating thoughts are so difficult to deal with. That parrot on your shoulder needs covering up, stick a bag on his head every time he kicks your ass and tell him to do one you are worthy of good things!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support. I’m pretty sure everyone knows the feeling of overthinking and catastrophic thoughts here. I’m trying my best, I really am, somehow it feels like it’s not enough….it never is
I’m trying to put all your advice to good use, hopefully my racing thoughts and catastrophic thinking won’t spoil things for me any further "I'm sure you will be doing your best! It is enough and you are enough. Over thinking just drains the life out of us, it's so difficult to so slow a hyperactive mind down, or getting it to shift away from whatever it is we're hyperfocusing on. I wish I could workout how to do it. | |||
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" Ruminating thoughts are so difficult to deal with. That parrot on your shoulder needs covering up, stick a bag on his head every time he kicks your ass and tell him to do one you are worthy of good things!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support. I’m pretty sure everyone knows the feeling of overthinking and catastrophic thoughts here. I’m trying my best, I really am, somehow it feels like it’s not enough….it never is
I’m trying to put all your advice to good use, hopefully my racing thoughts and catastrophic thinking won’t spoil things for me any further
I'm sure you will be doing your best! It is enough and you are enough. Over thinking just drains the life out of us, it's so difficult to so slow a hyperactive mind down, or getting it to shift away from whatever it is we're hyperfocusing on. I wish I could workout how to do it.
"If you manage to find the way, write a book about it! You’ll become a millionaire | |||
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"I have only just stumbled upon this neurodivergent chat, but it's good that there are other people who's brains are wired similar to mine. ADHD is my super power. Reading through the comments I can relate to what saying on here. My brain is too busy to contribute any more right now, but I'll be back "Hi glad you've found us see you when we see you haha | |||
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"Was debating whether we need another one, it seems the hyperfocus has shifted a little. Here goes nothing.... Hey I'm kitty and I'm wonky AF how about you?
Hi Kitty . Fellow autistic wonk here tuning in. But also alongside that, to add to the mix, am having a wacky spiritual journey. Ever since something clicked mentally for me a few years back, life hasn't been the same since (in a good way... I think lol).
Oh that's intriguing! I'd like to know more about your spiritual journey?
Well it came apparent when I was much younger, but in recent years it's certainly come more intense. I can go into more detail with it if you'd like. But in essence, my awareness has deepened, making the world look sharper/clearer and kind of like I'm in a movie lol. My life is more peaceful, as I've found a deeper clarity and understanding within myself, and my life is a bit more simpler, because of that clarity and understanding on a deeper level.
How interesting! I love to hear things like this! I'm sure we must have other abilities that NT don't necessarily have, otherwise it's just not fair haha.
My Mother has a what seems like a sixth sense, or maybe she is really good with pattern spotting! she usually can predict things pretty well. Unfortunately no lottery numbers yet though
"Haha. It definitely could be pattern spotting for sure. I've heard if you can recognise the patterns in life, you can actually predict what the outcome of something will be. There's a story I have heard with a similar context to this. Ahh, it's awesome to hear you find joy in hearing about these kinds of things too. Hmm.. certainly different abilities, but we've all got our perks and shortcomings right? We can't have it all haha. NT's are good at being part of a social network, whereas ND's have other abilities similar to what I've experienced. Things more individual/personal and not group orientated. | |||
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" Ruminating thoughts are so difficult to deal with. That parrot on your shoulder needs covering up, stick a bag on his head every time he kicks your ass and tell him to do one you are worthy of good things!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support. I’m pretty sure everyone knows the feeling of overthinking and catastrophic thoughts here. I’m trying my best, I really am, somehow it feels like it’s not enough….it never is
I’m trying to put all your advice to good use, hopefully my racing thoughts and catastrophic thinking won’t spoil things for me any further "It definitely takes understanding and learning, but have you given meditation a go? I've dealt with and at times still gets me, rumination/overthinking as I'm a introspective and introverted soul, so I tend to be within my own mind a lot, but daily meditation has given me such freedom from my own thoughts that I am actively and voluntarily going to be finding places to give out talks and going through it with others and also on breathwork too as that's quite powerful too. | |||
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"*waves* I'm pretty much completely wonky. AuDHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia and just to make them all difficult to diagnose, you can be dyslexic while also hyperlexic... My reading ability is off the scale. But ask me to write anything.... Not a chance. As for co-morbidities I had IBS (till I had a gastric bypass), I have ME/CFS and I'm being investigated for EDS. Oh and like many ND types I'm non-binary " You mentioned writing: is that getting words on paper, neat handwriting or just struggling with creative writing/explaining things? | |||
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"*waves* I'm pretty much completely wonky. AuDHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia and just to make them all difficult to diagnose, you can be dyslexic while also hyperlexic... My reading ability is off the scale. But ask me to write anything.... Not a chance. As for co-morbidities I had IBS (till I had a gastric bypass), I have ME/CFS and I'm being investigated for EDS. Oh and like many ND types I'm non-binary You mentioned writing: is that getting words on paper, neat handwriting or just struggling with creative writing/explaining things?" All three! When I was assessed as a mature student at uni, I was given a writing comprehension age of roughly a 7 year old. Since then I've been taught a lot of healthy coping strategies and techniques that have not only helped but made a massive difference to my personal and professional life. Touch typing was the first revolutionary thing. It means my writing style is pretty similar to how I talk (with the many asides and way too many parenthesis) but I do now find it easier to get what's in my brain out onto paper (or screen) - it just might not be in the most cohesive of orders. | |||
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"to add to the mix, am having a wacky spiritual journey. Ever since something clicked mentally for me a few years back, life hasn't been the same since (in a good way... I think lol). Oh that's intriguing! I'd like to know more about your spiritual journey? Well it came apparent when I was much younger, but in recent years it's certainly come more intense. I can go into more detail with it if you'd like. But in essence, my awareness has deepened, making the world look sharper/clearer and kind of like I'm in a movie lol. My life is more peaceful, as I've found a deeper clarity and understanding within myself, and my life is a bit more simpler, because of that clarity and understanding on a deeper level." Oh this sounds so interesting! A friend is helping me reconnect with my spirituality after a rather long discussion with him about it - the journey is mine to take but it's always good to have someone to talk to about it isn't it? I'm hoping it's as successful and wacky as yours. | |||
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" Ruminating thoughts are so difficult to deal with. That parrot on your shoulder needs covering up, stick a bag on his head every time he kicks your ass and tell him to do one you are worthy of good things!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support. I’m pretty sure everyone knows the feeling of overthinking and catastrophic thoughts here. I’m trying my best, I really am, somehow it feels like it’s not enough….it never is
I’m trying to put all your advice to good use, hopefully my racing thoughts and catastrophic thinking won’t spoil things for me any further
It definitely takes understanding and learning, but have you given meditation a go? I've dealt with and at times still gets me, rumination/overthinking as I'm a introspective and introverted soul, so I tend to be within my own mind a lot, but daily meditation has given me such freedom from my own thoughts that I am actively and voluntarily going to be finding places to give out talks and going through it with others and also on breathwork too as that's quite powerful too."Thank you for the helpful advice, unfortunately I have tried meditation with little to no success | |||
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"So I have ADHD but also RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria. RSD makes it nearly impossible to go and speak to anyone as if they say no thanks, my brain does not take rejection well and I will think about it for days and feel really sad and not worthwhile, even tho deep down I know that everyone has a type but RSD really makes it hard to have any sort of social or to take the lead and ask things in person. " Wow, that's a bummer, is it fixable? This would normally be thought of as very shy, | |||
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"Not fixable no, very common of ADHD and I should know because I suffer it myself. Not only it’s very hard to put oneself out there but the consequences of rejection (real or perceived) are devastating. Suffering the effects right now ans I’m an inconsolable mess who is about to fall in a spiral of self destructive behaviour, so I get it "Group hugs all round! | |||
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"*waves* I'm pretty much completely wonky. AuDHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia and just to make them all difficult to diagnose, you can be dyslexic while also hyperlexic... My reading ability is off the scale. But ask me to write anything.... Not a chance. As for co-morbidities I had IBS (till I had a gastric bypass), I have ME/CFS and I'm being investigated for EDS. Oh and like many ND types I'm non-binary " Hi
My goodness that's a lot of juggling! | |||
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" Ruminating thoughts are so difficult to deal with. That parrot on your shoulder needs covering up, stick a bag on his head every time he kicks your ass and tell him to do one you are worthy of good things!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support. I’m pretty sure everyone knows the feeling of overthinking and catastrophic thoughts here. I’m trying my best, I really am, somehow it feels like it’s not enough….it never is
I’m trying to put all your advice to good use, hopefully my racing thoughts and catastrophic thinking won’t spoil things for me any further
It definitely takes understanding and learning, but have you given meditation a go? I've dealt with and at times still gets me, rumination/overthinking as I'm a introspective and introverted soul, so I tend to be within my own mind a lot, but daily meditation has given me such freedom from my own thoughts that I am actively and voluntarily going to be finding places to give out talks and going through it with others and also on breathwork too as that's quite powerful too.
Thank you for the helpful advice, unfortunately I have tried meditation with little to no success "I used to think that until I started digging deeper and experimenting with different types of meditation and mindfulness. I'm a fussy bugger though! What works one day doesn't necessarily work the next, so I have a bank of go to strategies now. | |||
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" I used to think that until I started digging deeper and experimenting with different types of meditation and mindfulness. I'm a fussy bugger though! What works one day doesn't necessarily work the next, so I have a bank of go to strategies now. " Really? I've tried several types but none have worked so far. Any suggestions? | |||
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"Welcome to the latest edition of the wonky-brained corner of Fab! Feel free to pull up a chair (quietly). And although this is fab, please feel free to leave your masks at the door. This is a place for all neurodivergent people to chat, get to know one another and discuss how Autism, ADHD, dyslexisa, dyspraxia and other conditions effect our lives and swinging. Friends, lovers and allies are welcome, but be aware that we fiercely protect our own here. A big thanks to everyone who has dropped in and added to this well needed conversation. Previous seasons are still available for replay at the links below: P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017#top P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859 P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212 P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399 P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628 P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444 P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028" Can someone please link p9 & p10 ... it's a nuisance on mobile | |||
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"Im autisic and got bpd and torrwts i was diagbosed aspergwra in 2014 and torrets and bpd last year been ahtd living knowing somat was up and relatinships are so hard for me How do you manage on the swinging scene? Is it easier than being in relationships? Not met anyone since coming back .. find ut extrenly hard to get a repky cause my messages are very indepth prob overshare to much and with my spelling im rediculed alot .. iv had coupkes meets that was fun and last time i was on here 5 years ago meet a few single ladies but nothing this time round xx I can imagine how frustrating that must be for you. I'm dyslexic and notice how judgemental people are with spelling ect on here. Hopefully you'll find the right people this time around. Extremly judgemental especially when i say in sorry i dont see the mustakes cause iv dyslexia and i dont always proof read ahd they give me grief i feel like gping hold on do u wanna proof read ur nasty comment about my disability twonks hahah " Try an app called gramerly, it's like an autocorrect / predict but it also does grammer too , may be helpful. (Unsure whether there is a mobile app though) | |||
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"Hey guys, Long time no see, but I have been struggling immensely lately. I have fucked up a really nice thing that has happened to me in the last years and I feel there is truly no hope. This time I know is not only the RSD talking, I keep actively self-sabotaging myself and feel like I've lost something that was TRULY worthy of me trying better. I don't know what to do now, I feel so lost and empty... Christmas is often a tough time. A lot has to do with the out of routine. A lot of wonky brained people love structure and regular process and Xmas / New Year kinda messes that up We all have the sense of sometimes fooking something up. Your best bet is to try and deal with the issue and hold hands up What ever it is - I hope your able to sort it
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with lack of structure as my routine doesn't change over the holidays period.
I truly hope it gets better, because I am losing hope in everything at the moment."I know it's not allways the easiest but try and have a bit more of a sit down conversation with the person get things out in the open and take their side into consideration too but you may find that you have both misread things and it's just needs clearing the air Hope u get it sorted though chick | |||
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"I'm Sophie and broadly wonky "Welcome to our corner please take a sensory toy from the box and find somewhere comfy to compress :p | |||
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". How interesting! I love to hear things like this! I'm sure we must have other abilities that NT don't necessarily have, otherwise it's just not fair haha. My Mother has a what seems like a sixth sense, or maybe she is really good with pattern spotting! she usually can predict things pretty well. Unfortunately no lottery numbers yet though
"I'm super level headed during like high stress emergency situations, My x trying to O.D 3 times , my brother getting knocked over by the dog and breaking his skull by his ear... I just go into a calm state and like next step next step as such | |||
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"I have only just stumbled upon this neurodivergent chat, but it's good that there are other people who's brains are wired similar to mine. ADHD is my super power. Reading through the comments I can relate to what saying on here. My brain is too busy to contribute any more right now, but I'll be back "Welcome where we will get a new song stuck in your head which will play on repeat for a few hours because brain | |||
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"*waves* I'm pretty much completely wonky. AuDHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia and just to make them all difficult to diagnose, you can be dyslexic while also hyperlexic... My reading ability is off the scale. But ask me to write anything.... Not a chance. As for co-morbidities I had IBS (till I had a gastric bypass), I have ME/CFS and I'm being investigated for EDS. Oh and like many ND types I'm non-binary " O/ waves back welcome also! Squishy sensory toy or book... It's getting hard to think of new ones 3 | |||
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"So I have ADHD but also RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria. RSD makes it nearly impossible to go and speak to anyone as if they say no thanks, my brain does not take rejection well and I will think about it for days and feel really sad and not worthwhile, even tho deep down I know that everyone has a type but RSD really makes it hard to have any sort of social or to take the lead and ask things in person. " Rejection is such a hard thing to deal with and this site is super tough if you have it , Hope you find some luck and some kind people to give you that chance | |||
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"Hello all. This is a really cool thread idea. Me likey. I'm dyspraxic (and tbh, I suspect ADHD but undiagnosed) I also have all sorts of mental health funnies, the anxiety disorders are especially fun in this world..." Neurodivergence = hey do you want some anxiety and social issues to help with your anxiety and social issues.... Eventually it becomes a level of fuck it I'm me xx | |||
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"So I have ADHD but also RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria. RSD makes it nearly impossible to go and speak to anyone as if they say no thanks, my brain does not take rejection well and I will think about it for days and feel really sad and not worthwhile, even tho deep down I know that everyone has a type but RSD really makes it hard to have any sort of social or to take the lead and ask things in person. Wow, that's a bummer, is it fixable? This would normally be thought of as very shy," It's horrible it's very very common to have RSD and ADHD. Binge eating disorder/ high functioning aspergers/sleep apnea are also very common in people with ADHD. I was diagnosed about 2 years ago with combined type ADHD by psychiatry uk through my gp under right to choose so it's all funded by nhs.
If anyone wants to message me to chat about how to go about getting a assessment or anything, feel free! | |||
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"So I have ADHD but also RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria. RSD makes it nearly impossible to go and speak to anyone as if they say no thanks, my brain does not take rejection well and I will think about it for days and feel really sad and not worthwhile, even tho deep down I know that everyone has a type but RSD really makes it hard to have any sort of social or to take the lead and ask things in person. Rejection is such a hard thing to deal with and this site is super tough if you have it , Hope you find some luck and some kind people to give you that chance " This is not the best idea site for us, but when it works it's amazing. I had 2 good experiences in 2 days at the weekend in my first experience of pushing myself out there rather than sitting behind a screen and I couldn't sleep because I was so buzzing and enjoyed myself so much. Dopamine hitttt!! | |||
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"to add to the mix, am having a wacky spiritual journey. Ever since something clicked mentally for me a few years back, life hasn't been the same since (in a good way... I think lol). Oh that's intriguing! I'd like to know more about your spiritual journey? Well it came apparent when I was much younger, but in recent years it's certainly come more intense. I can go into more detail with it if you'd like. But in essence, my awareness has deepened, making the world look sharper/clearer and kind of like I'm in a movie lol. My life is more peaceful, as I've found a deeper clarity and understanding within myself, and my life is a bit more simpler, because of that clarity and understanding on a deeper level. Oh this sounds so interesting! A friend is helping me reconnect with my spirituality after a rather long discussion with him about it - the journey is mine to take but it's always good to have someone to talk to about it isn't it? I'm hoping it's as successful and wacky as yours. "Haha I'm sure it'll be funky in a way that's unique and personal to you x. Of course, it's certainly good to chat about these things with others when the opportunity comes up. It keeps it alive and moving. What's occurred for you?? I'm intrigued to listen in. | |||
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" Ruminating thoughts are so difficult to deal with. That parrot on your shoulder needs covering up, stick a bag on his head every time he kicks your ass and tell him to do one you are worthy of good things!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support. I’m pretty sure everyone knows the feeling of overthinking and catastrophic thoughts here. I’m trying my best, I really am, somehow it feels like it’s not enough….it never is
I’m trying to put all your advice to good use, hopefully my racing thoughts and catastrophic thinking won’t spoil things for me any further
It definitely takes understanding and learning, but have you given meditation a go? I've dealt with and at times still gets me, rumination/overthinking as I'm a introspective and introverted soul, so I tend to be within my own mind a lot, but daily meditation has given me such freedom from my own thoughts that I am actively and voluntarily going to be finding places to give out talks and going through it with others and also on breathwork too as that's quite powerful too.
Thank you for the helpful advice, unfortunately I have tried meditation with little to no success
I used to think that until I started digging deeper and experimenting with different types of meditation and mindfulness. I'm a fussy bugger though! What works one day doesn't necessarily work the next, so I have a bank of go to strategies now. "I'd love to share what I have learn't about meditation as it might make everything clearer perhaps. Contrary to what people say, meditation is not about getting rid of thoughts, because the mind is always going to produce them. And so trying to get rid of them, is only going to make those thoughts more vivid/stronger. They key is to just 'watch' you're thoughts, not judging/reacting or attaching/clinging to them, just watching.. similar to watching a movie. At first it's tricky, but once understood, it comes easier to be aware of it all. You're awareness of yourself and everything around you will grow after that too. Also importantly, don't make it into a practice, because that'll make the mind dull (I did this in my early meditation days lol), keep it alive by 'watching' as you go about you're day to day life. Because the world is always moving, not stagnant/dead. By just watching those thoughts, you're not unnecessarily giving valuable energy to certain mental patterns e.g. negative thought loops, etc. Once you learn to be in control of you're thoughts, you can then give you're energy to the good processes and not the ones that negatively affect you're wellbeing. | |||
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" I used to think that until I started digging deeper and experimenting with different types of meditation and mindfulness. I'm a fussy bugger though! What works one day doesn't necessarily work the next, so I have a bank of go to strategies now. Really? I've tried several types but none have worked so far. Any suggestions?" Can you remember what you tried? My favourite is sound baths, I use an eye mask with built-in Bluetooth and just float away with to the sound. I enjoy it that much I have found a place in Birmingham where they do it face to face, the lady who runs the sessions is late diagnosed AuDHD and dyslexic too. She does does other types of groups too which are pro ND and physical disabilities. | |||
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" Ruminating thoughts are so difficult to deal with. That parrot on your shoulder needs covering up, stick a bag on his head every time he kicks your ass and tell him to do one you are worthy of good things!
Thank you so much, I really appreciate the support. I’m pretty sure everyone knows the feeling of overthinking and catastrophic thoughts here. I’m trying my best, I really am, somehow it feels like it’s not enough….it never is
I’m trying to put all your advice to good use, hopefully my racing thoughts and catastrophic thinking won’t spoil things for me any further
It definitely takes understanding and learning, but have you given meditation a go? I've dealt with and at times still gets me, rumination/overthinking as I'm a introspective and introverted soul, so I tend to be within my own mind a lot, but daily meditation has given me such freedom from my own thoughts that I am actively and voluntarily going to be finding places to give out talks and going through it with others and also on breathwork too as that's quite powerful too.
Thank you for the helpful advice, unfortunately I have tried meditation with little to no success
I used to think that until I started digging deeper and experimenting with different types of meditation and mindfulness. I'm a fussy bugger though! What works one day doesn't necessarily work the next, so I have a bank of go to strategies now.
I'd love to share what I have learn't about meditation as it might make everything clearer perhaps. Contrary to what people say, meditation is not about getting rid of thoughts, because the mind is always going to produce them. And so trying to get rid of them, is only going to make those thoughts more vivid/stronger. They key is to just 'watch' you're thoughts, not judging/reacting or attaching/clinging to them, just watching.. similar to watching a movie. At first it's tricky, but once understood, it comes easier to be aware of it all. You're awareness of yourself and everything around you will grow after that too. Also importantly, don't make it into a practice, because that'll make the mind dull (I did this in my early meditation days lol), keep it alive by 'watching' as you go about you're day to day life. Because the world is always moving, not stagnant/dead. By just watching those thoughts, you're not unnecessarily giving valuable energy to certain mental patterns e.g. negative thought loops, etc. Once you learn to be in control of you're thoughts, you can then give you're energy to the good processes and not the ones that negatively affect you're wellbeing."I listened to something very similar to what you said the other day it makes sense to me. I was originally getting frustrated at not being able to switch off, why try when you know your brain won't do it! I'd just say oh I can't do meditation because I'm always having to drag my brain back to what's being said. I listened to one meditation that suggested if you had a particular ruminating thought you need to let the picture of it, or the words float above your head for a while, then place it in a bubble and let it float away! Which I found useful, until the wind blew it straight back to me
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"I had my 2nd assessment yesterday and my depression and anxiety is causing my frontal lobes to be acting as if they have received physical damage, hence the lack of short term memory. " Do you agree with that? | |||
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"Hello Kitty and Rod, don’t really have anything to truly say, other than I think you doing this and other threads on the topic are a fantastic idea and bless your consideration of others. I was diagnosed with ADHD back in the mid 80s (when still just known as ADD) and have never had any sort of group I could talk to about it, so seeing this thread has certainly made me smile today "Hi welcome to the wonky club! You are more than welcome here. Any tips for those of us that have been diagnosed as adults or awaiting diagnosis?
I'm not sure if you've had chance to have a look at the links posted from the previous threads at all? I can't take credit for the threads, it's mainly been the regular posters to the threads that continued them on. I think it's really important to raise awareness and support each other though
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"Hey guys, Long time no see, but I have been struggling immensely lately. I have fucked up a really nice thing that has happened to me in the last years and I feel there is truly no hope. This time I know is not only the RSD talking, I keep actively self-sabotaging myself and feel like I've lost something that was TRULY worthy of me trying better. I don't know what to do now, I feel so lost and empty... Christmas is often a tough time. A lot has to do with the out of routine. A lot of wonky brained people love structure and regular process and Xmas / New Year kinda messes that up We all have the sense of sometimes fooking something up. Your best bet is to try and deal with the issue and hold hands up What ever it is - I hope your able to sort it
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with lack of structure as my routine doesn't change over the holidays period.
I truly hope it gets better, because I am losing hope in everything at the moment."Have a virtual hug, Christmas/new year can be crap with all the forced jollity, I know I feel apart from society around this time of year. On the up side days are getting longer and it'll soon be spring | |||
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"I had my 2nd assessment yesterday and my depression and anxiety is causing my frontal lobes to be acting as if they have received physical damage, hence the lack of short term memory. Do you agree with that? " Anxiety and depression: yes, bad memory: absolutely, a sense of this is not going away and something squeezing my forehead, when stressed out: very much so. Yes, my head had sustained a few knocks over the years. | |||
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"I had my 2nd assessment yesterday and my depression and anxiety is causing my frontal lobes to be acting as if they have received physical damage, hence the lack of short term memory. Do you agree with that? Anxiety and depression: yes, bad memory: absolutely, a sense of this is not going away and something squeezing my forehead, when stressed out: very much so. Yes, my head had sustained a few knocks over the years." What was your memory like before you started to experience anxiety and depression? | |||
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"I had my 2nd assessment yesterday and my depression and anxiety is causing my frontal lobes to be acting as if they have received physical damage, hence the lack of short term memory. Do you agree with that? Anxiety and depression: yes, bad memory: absolutely, a sense of this is not going away and something squeezing my forehead, when stressed out: very much so. Yes, my head had sustained a few knocks over the years. What was your memory like before you started to experience anxiety and depression? " It's a bit hazy, going back to the 1970s. I will say this, if something goes into my long term memory, then it will stay there. That's going back to my primary school days: but I did notice it when sitting my O-levels and CSES. I just couldn't hold the formulas for physics and the dates for history Learning to touch type was too difficult, I tried, but could grasp it, learning song lyrics was frustrating and even after 100s or 1000s of times, I don't know how others do it. There was no mention of any extra help in any of my schools. They were more interested in wasting my time by forcing me to write joined up. Stupid idea. | |||
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"Thanks hornypt Spamming posts are spammed 3 sorry all! Think I'm all caught up now and all welcomes to the new members.. advice given ... jokes made ... subbed to right post ... right sleepy time now I think !! And ibs = part of my autism ... well at least I can abuse that part of me .... I love spicy food however my ibs doesn't I am not going out the morning after :p " Carry some AD tablets and calm them there guts down. | |||
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"Hey fellow wonky swingers. I am just about to embark on the path of getting a diagnosis for my ADHD and was wondering how long others have waited from referal to diagnosis with the NHS? Had this all of my life and so tired of masking it, I just want to know for sure and get on with my life as me!" Have you been referred or are you going to ask the GP for a referral? It all depends on what area you're in to be honest. I would phone the local service to see what the waiting list is like, if it's longer than 6-8 months ask for the GP to refer you through the right to choose, it's done through the NHS but a private provider does the assessment, such as psychiatry uk, there are a couple of other companies that do it too but I can't think what they are called off the top of my head. The GP may initially refuse or not know how to do it but everyone in England is entitled to the service. I would research the right to choose and take the info with you to the GP appointment. When I say check to see if it's more than 6-8 months for assessment most areas have long waiting lists which are at least a year plus for adults. | |||
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"I'm back again. Waiting on ADHD assesment at the minute. Can't come quickly enough. I've hit the fuck it button lately and I'm reaping the consequences now. I work in a job with really challenging and risky people, and my person faced work has been brilliant as I'm flying again. The flipside is that the boring but necessary shit is bogging me down and landing me in the shit. I'd love to bloody harness this properly. I'm back up to 9 hours sleep again, my brain is bloody 200 mph and draining." That's something I've got to work out since burnout. I just wish I could go back and tell myself not to push myself as much as I was. Once we burnout we don't always recover as quick as neurotypical people do. Now when my brain has no interest things information just won't stick at all. "my brain is bloody 200 mph and draining" When did you find out Neurotypical people actually have periods of quiet in their brains! My mind was blown when I worked out other people don't constantly have multiple tabs open and can chill without thinking about something. | |||
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"I'm back again. Waiting on ADHD assesment at the minute. Can't come quickly enough. I've hit the fuck it button lately and I'm reaping the consequences now. I work in a job with really challenging and risky people, and my person faced work has been brilliant as I'm flying again. The flipside is that the boring but necessary shit is bogging me down and landing me in the shit. I'd love to bloody harness this properly. I'm back up to 9 hours sleep again, my brain is bloody 200 mph and draining. That's something I've got to work out since burnout. I just wish I could go back and tell myself not to push myself as much as I was. Once we burnout we don't always recover as quick as neurotypical people do. Now when my brain has no interest things information just won't stick at all. "my brain is bloody 200 mph and draining" When did you find out Neurotypical people actually have periods of quiet in their brains! My mind was blown when I worked out other people don't constantly have multiple tabs open and can chill without thinking about something. " The problem for me is my best work is when I'm hyper. But the boring stuff that runs alongside it falls by the wayside as I can't focus on it. I'll have to try and knock it back a little or I'll be bloody micromanaged again... I knew from school I was different. Other kids seemed way more able to focus and finish work. Sadly, the more I got into trouble, the more I kicked off. Shame as I was clever. For years I've realised that I'm just spinning plates to be honest... | |||
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"I'm back again. Waiting on ADHD assesment at the minute. Can't come quickly enough. I've hit the fuck it button lately and I'm reaping the consequences now. I work in a job with really challenging and risky people, and my person faced work has been brilliant as I'm flying again. The flipside is that the boring but necessary shit is bogging me down and landing me in the shit. I'd love to bloody harness this properly. I'm back up to 9 hours sleep again, my brain is bloody 200 mph and draining. That's something I've got to work out since burnout. I just wish I could go back and tell myself not to push myself as much as I was. Once we burnout we don't always recover as quick as neurotypical people do. Now when my brain has no interest things information just won't stick at all. "my brain is bloody 200 mph and draining" When did you find out Neurotypical people actually have periods of quiet in their brains! My mind was blown when I worked out other people don't constantly have multiple tabs open and can chill without thinking about something. The problem for me is my best work is when I'm hyper. But the boring stuff that runs alongside it falls by the wayside as I can't focus on it. I'll have to try and knock it back a little or I'll be bloody micromanaged again... I knew from school I was different. Other kids seemed way more able to focus and finish work. Sadly, the more I got into trouble, the more I kicked off. Shame as I was clever. For years I've realised that I'm just spinning plates to be honest..." Oh gosh! That sounds stressful, you can't make your brain do something it doesn't want to do. Do you think it would be the case in every job or just the one you're in now? | |||
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"Hey fellow wonky swingers. I am just about to embark on the path of getting a diagnosis for my ADHD and was wondering how long others have waited from referal to diagnosis with the NHS? Had this all of my life and so tired of masking it, I just want to know for sure and get on with my life as me! Have you been referred or are you going to ask the GP for a referral? It all depends on what area you're in to be honest. I would phone the local service to see what the waiting list is like, if it's longer than 6-8 months ask for the GP to refer you through the right to choose, it's done through the NHS but a private provider does the assessment, such as psychiatry uk, there are a couple of other companies that do it too but I can't think what they are called off the top of my head. The GP may initially refuse or not know how to do it but everyone in England is entitled to the service. I would research the right to choose and take the info with you to the GP appointment. When I say check to see if it's more than 6-8 months for assessment most areas have long waiting lists which are at least a year plus for adults. " Thanks so much for the reply, that is really useful info. I have a GP appointment in a couple of weeks to kick things off and ask for a referal, so I am really right at the start of this. | |||
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"I hate my job tbh but I'm really good at 80-90% of it. The balance is crap. I'm a complex needs worker and work with the most challenging and risky in the community, and actually enjoy the chaos. The problem I have is employers tolerate and trust me (in the main). I'd love to jump ship to probation, housing, NHS but sadly don't think I'd last long. " Ahh that's a difficult one! Don't think I could do a job I hated long term but can understand feeling like you haven't got a choice. | |||
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"Working out levels of hoe much yo push at work definitely something I need to do, I usually end up burning myself out , It's tyring to enjoy evenings currently I just feel very tired and no energy so I just go into watching tv n that's it rather than enjoying hobby / chatting with friends" Oh I get this! I used to come home and be completely wiped out, so much so that I couldn't move off the sofa. Why oh why did I think living like that wouldn't be damaging in the long run. Trying to find the right balance once you've had burnout is so difficult. My brain just says nah, nope you're not doing that today and I just can't do stuff like I used to. | |||
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"Hey fellow wonky swingers. I am just about to embark on the path of getting a diagnosis for my ADHD and was wondering how long others have waited from referal to diagnosis with the NHS? Had this all of my life and so tired of masking it, I just want to know for sure and get on with my life as me! Have you been referred or are you going to ask the GP for a referral? It all depends on what area you're in to be honest. I would phone the local service to see what the waiting list is like, if it's longer than 6-8 months ask for the GP to refer you through the right to choose, it's done through the NHS but a private provider does the assessment, such as psychiatry uk, there are a couple of other companies that do it too but I can't think what they are called off the top of my head. The GP may initially refuse or not know how to do it but everyone in England is entitled to the service. I would research the right to choose and take the info with you to the GP appointment. When I say check to see if it's more than 6-8 months for assessment most areas have long waiting lists which are at least a year plus for adults. Thanks so much for the reply, that is really useful info. I have a GP appointment in a couple of weeks to kick things off and ask for a referal, so I am really right at the start of this." Have you done a pre assessment? Some are better than others but it might be worth doing one and taking a print out of the results with you to your GP appointment. | |||
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" When did you find out Neurotypical people actually have periods of quiet in their brains! My mind was blown when I worked out other people don't constantly have multiple tabs open and can chill without thinking about something. " I call BS. Surely people can't just switch off? | |||
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"I know that everyone has a type but RSD really makes it hard to have any sort of social or to take the lead and ask things in person. " I haven't been around for a season or two, but just wanted to drop a fly-by comment and say, not everyone has a type of RSD. | |||
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"Hey guys, Long time no see, but I have been struggling immensely lately. I have fucked up a really nice thing that has happened to me in the last years and I feel there is truly no hope. This time I know is not only the RSD talking, I keep actively self-sabotaging myself and feel like I've lost something that was TRULY worthy of me trying better. I don't know what to do now, I feel so lost and empty... Christmas is often a tough time. A lot has to do with the out of routine. A lot of wonky brained people love structure and regular process and Xmas / New Year kinda messes that up We all have the sense of sometimes fooking something up. Your best bet is to try and deal with the issue and hold hands up What ever it is - I hope your able to sort it
Thanks for taking the time to reply. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with lack of structure as my routine doesn't change over the holidays period.
I truly hope it gets better, because I am losing hope in everything at the moment."It just does feel like that sometimes. Surely most of us go through that some time. It is a bit tough when it's your turn. Console yourself that at least while you are taking the turn some other poor sod who might no cope is spared. | |||
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" When did you find out Neurotypical people actually have periods of quiet in their brains! My mind was blown when I worked out other people don't constantly have multiple tabs open and can chill without thinking about something. I call BS. Surely people can't just switch off?" Apparently so  | |||
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"I know that everyone has a type but RSD really makes it hard to have any sort of social or to take the lead and ask things in person. I haven't been around for a season or two, but just wanted to drop a fly-by comment and say, not everyone has a type of RSD. " Oh hello
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"I have wondered whether "neurodivergent" folk can be very passionate? Outside the mainstream and lacking the ability to chat and be amiable in a general sense while being lovers who light you up in a way which is rare otherwise?" Have you met someone with a current special interest? It's neurotypcals who aren't passionate. We are passionate to the point of obsessive sometimes. | |||
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I thought about his contributions he made to the earlier ND threads and felt the need to say my inbox is always open! Even if people aren't contributing to the threads I'm happy to chat to any fellow wonky people.
Take special care all xx | |||
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"Thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing? After seeing the sad news that Thumper has sadly died
I thought about his contributions he made to the earlier ND threads and felt the need to say my inbox is always open! Even if people aren't contributing to the threads I'm happy to chat to any fellow wonky people.
Take special care all xx "It's bothered me, I mean it's obviously sad, but selfishly, it's a bit close to home given my own struggles last year. I hope he's at peace. My heart breaks at the thought of people being in that place | |||
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"Thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing? After seeing the sad news that Thumper has sadly died
I thought about his contributions he made to the earlier ND threads and felt the need to say my inbox is always open! Even if people aren't contributing to the threads I'm happy to chat to any fellow wonky people.
Take special care all xx " | |||
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"Thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing? After seeing the sad news that Thumper has sadly died
I thought about his contributions he made to the earlier ND threads and felt the need to say my inbox is always open! Even if people aren't contributing to the threads I'm happy to chat to any fellow wonky people.
Take special care all xx
It's bothered me, I mean it's obviously sad, but selfishly, it's a bit close to home given my own struggles last year.
I hope he's at peace. My heart breaks at the thought of people being in that place"I don't think it's selfish at all lovely, I can see from what you've said how his situation would resonate with you. You know first hand what it's like to be in that frame of mind, I'm merely an observer and it makes me feel sad. Hope you're ok. | |||
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"On a cheerier note, one of my colleagues in my new job is ND (I told everyone from the off that I was) but she told me just before Christmas, and it's great having someone at work to randomly info-dump on and too spend a lot of time laughing at ourselves. This has made me happy " Oh I love this! I'm glad you're at a place where you can you can openly be you and not feel the need to hide your ND. If you we're hiding it you might not have found that connection with your colleague, It's lovely to read I'm glad things are improving for you. | |||
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"On a cheerier note, one of my colleagues in my new job is ND (I told everyone from the off that I was) but she told me just before Christmas, and it's great having someone at work to randomly info-dump on and too spend a lot of time laughing at ourselves. This has made me happy Oh I love this! I'm glad you're at a place where you can you can openly be you and not feel the need to hide your ND. If you we're hiding it you might not have found that connection with your colleague, It's lovely to read I'm glad things are improving for you. "Oh the joys of being dyslexic  A lovely random apostrophe there for you | |||
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"Thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing? After seeing the sad news that Thumper has sadly died
I thought about his contributions he made to the earlier ND threads and felt the need to say my inbox is always open! Even if people aren't contributing to the threads I'm happy to chat to any fellow wonky people.
Take special care all xx "@Fab forum admins !, THIS ^^^ THIS IS WHY WE NEED A FUCKING MENTAL HEALTH SECTION ON THE FORUMS AND A SAFE SPACE FOR MENTAL HEALTH , NUERODIVERSITY... THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE STRIVING TO AVOID I SERIOUSLY HOPE NONE OF YOU HAVE TO EVER GO THROUGH THE FEELINGS OF DEPRRSSION, IT IS A SOUL DESTROYING HORRENDOUS CONDITION LET IT BE KNOWN .... IT FEELS LIKE FAB IS VERY MUCH COMPLICIT IN BRUSHING THIS UNDER THE RUG AND IGNORING THE WIDER ISSUE! | |||
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"Thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing? After seeing the sad news that Thumper has sadly died
I thought about his contributions he made to the earlier ND threads and felt the need to say my inbox is always open! Even if people aren't contributing to the threads I'm happy to chat to any fellow wonky people.
Take special care all xx
@Fab forum admins !, THIS ^^^ THIS IS WHY WE NEED A FUCKING MENTAL HEALTH SECTION ON THE FORUMS AND A SAFE SPACE FOR MENTAL HEALTH , NUERODIVERSITY...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE STRIVING TO AVOID
I SERIOUSLY HOPE NONE OF YOU HAVE TO EVER GO THROUGH THE FEELINGS OF DEPRRSSION, IT IS A SOUL DESTROYING HORRENDOUS CONDITION
LET IT BE KNOWN .... IT FEELS LIKE FAB IS VERY MUCH COMPLICIT IN BRUSHING THIS UNDER THE RUG AND IGNORING THE WIDER ISSUE!
"It's just exhausting being wonky. There's no support as an adult, services are aimed at NT people with mental health problems. They won't acknowledge that it's not a case of one size fits all. Peer support is important in my opinion. There will be people on here who have had persistent depression and/or anxiety for years and might be involved in services but aren't getting anywhere, maybe they have had a mental health diagnosis that just doesn't seem to fit how they feel. I'd like to think we might help those people but also be there for each other post diagnosis, by keeping the discussion going. If they won't give us our own space we need to keep the threads going. | |||
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I do plan on doing a second one just before my appointment with the GP.
On a slightly different tangent, I am wondering how people who are "out" with their ND have found it has affected them in thier every day lives. I am really on the fence about telling work (I am in a job I enjoy and do well at because I am interested in what I am doing so the ADHD deosnt have much of an impact) so I worry that it might not have a hugly positive benifit from them knowing, its as if some of my management and directors where cryogenically frozen in the 1970's and recently thawed out, so not sure how they will react. I plan on telling my friends and family though. | |||
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"On a cheerier note, one of my colleagues in my new job is ND (I told everyone from the off that I was) but she told me just before Christmas, and it's great having someone at work to randomly info-dump on and too spend a lot of time laughing at ourselves. This has made me happy Oh I love this! I'm glad you're at a place where you can you can openly be you and not feel the need to hide your ND. If you we're hiding it you might not have found that connection with your colleague, It's lovely to read I'm glad things are improving for you. "Thank you I really appreciate that 
I'm so releaved things are improving for me and that I've found a work environment where I can be myself. What's sad is there are so few adjustments needed, it's just a genuinely supportive environment ahdvthsts ll any of us really need | |||
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"Yes, I did a pre-assesment and it says I am wonky .
I do plan on doing a second one just before my appointment with the GP.
On a slightly different tangent, I am wondering how people who are "out" with their ND have found it has affected them in thier every day lives. I am really on the fence about telling work (I am in a job I enjoy and do well at because I am interested in what I am doing so the ADHD deosnt have much of an impact) so I worry that it might not have a hugly positive benifit from them knowing, its as if some of my management and directors where cryogenically frozen in the 1970's and recently thawed out, so not sure how they will react. I plan on telling my friends and family though."Ohh it's a tricky one with work isn't it. I hate to say if you're not having any difficulties and you work with dinosaurs will it be worth it? I was forced to explain my difficulties after burnout and I hated it but had no choice because my brain just doesn't work in the way that it did. I'm meant to work in a caring environment but never felt safe enough to drop the mask and just be me. Family or friends seems a good place to start I think. | |||
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"Guys, I’m going to be absent for a while. Not coping well and the RSD not making me any favours as I’ve never felt this strongly about losing someone. I will still be around, just not very active in the forums but drop me a message if you’d like to talk, I really would appreciate someone who understands me right now "Your contributions to the threads will be missed lovely. It's more important that you look after yourself though! Please take care, you know where I am if you need to talk xx | |||
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"Thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing? After seeing the sad news that Thumper has sadly died
I thought about his contributions he made to the earlier ND threads and felt the need to say my inbox is always open! Even if people aren't contributing to the threads I'm happy to chat to any fellow wonky people.
Take special care all xx
@Fab forum admins !, THIS ^^^ THIS IS WHY WE NEED A FUCKING MENTAL HEALTH SECTION ON THE FORUMS AND A SAFE SPACE FOR MENTAL HEALTH , NUERODIVERSITY...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE STRIVING TO AVOID
I SERIOUSLY HOPE NONE OF YOU HAVE TO EVER GO THROUGH THE FEELINGS OF DEPRRSSION, IT IS A SOUL DESTROYING HORRENDOUS CONDITION
LET IT BE KNOWN .... IT FEELS LIKE FAB IS VERY MUCH COMPLICIT IN BRUSHING THIS UNDER THE RUG AND IGNORING THE WIDER ISSUE!
"And breathe, well spoken too. If one of the Admin were ND, would things here be different? | |||
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"On a cheerier note, one of my colleagues in my new job is ND (I told everyone from the off that I was) but she told me just before Christmas, and it's great having someone at work to randomly info-dump on and too spend a lot of time laughing at ourselves. This has made me happy Oh I love this! I'm glad you're at a place where you can you can openly be you and not feel the need to hide your ND. If you we're hiding it you might not have found that connection with your colleague, It's lovely to read I'm glad things are improving for you.
Thank you I really appreciate that
I'm so releaved things are improving for me and that I've found a work environment where I can be myself. What's sad is there are so few adjustments needed, it's just a genuinely supportive environment ahdvthsts ll any of us really need"It just goes to show there are opportunities out there for us, where we can be ourselves and flourish. | |||
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"Thought I'd check in and see how you're all doing? After seeing the sad news that Thumper has sadly died
I thought about his contributions he made to the earlier ND threads and felt the need to say my inbox is always open! Even if people aren't contributing to the threads I'm happy to chat to any fellow wonky people.
Take special care all xx
@Fab forum admins !, THIS ^^^ THIS IS WHY WE NEED A FUCKING MENTAL HEALTH SECTION ON THE FORUMS AND A SAFE SPACE FOR MENTAL HEALTH , NUERODIVERSITY...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE STRIVING TO AVOID
I SERIOUSLY HOPE NONE OF YOU HAVE TO EVER GO THROUGH THE FEELINGS OF DEPRRSSION, IT IS A SOUL DESTROYING HORRENDOUS CONDITION
LET IT BE KNOWN .... IT FEELS LIKE FAB IS VERY MUCH COMPLICIT IN BRUSHING THIS UNDER THE RUG AND IGNORING THE WIDER ISSUE!
"Is it perhaps a tad unrealistic to expect fab to be all things to all people? I'd have thought there would be many other online forums that would offer more specific support | |||
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"Guys, I’m going to be absent for a while. Not coping well and the RSD not making me any favours as I’ve never felt this strongly about losing someone. I will still be around, just not very active in the forums but drop me a message if you’d like to talk, I really would appreciate someone who understands me right now ". Take care of yourself if you do drop out Cherry, and drop right back in if you feel you need to talk/support or just get things off your chest, please don't feel you are on your own with what you're going through right now | |||
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" @Fab forum admins !, THIS ^^^ THIS IS WHY WE NEED A FUCKING MENTAL HEALTH SECTION ON THE FORUMS AND A SAFE SPACE FOR MENTAL HEALTH , NUERODIVERSITY... THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE STRIVING TO AVOID I SERIOUSLY HOPE NONE OF YOU HAVE TO EVER GO THROUGH THE FEELINGS OF DEPRRSSION, IT IS A SOUL DESTROYING HORRENDOUS CONDITION LET IT BE KNOWN .... IT FEELS LIKE FAB IS VERY MUCH COMPLICIT IN BRUSHING THIS UNDER THE RUG AND IGNORING THE WIDER ISSUE! Is it perhaps a tad unrealistic to expect fab to be all things to all people? I'd have thought there would be many other online forums that would offer more specific support " I mentioned in an earlier thread that people with ADHD are statistically 3 times more likely to be promiscuous therefore, there is a good chance that there are many people here that have ADHD that don't know they have it, who could benefit from seeing the posts. I believe _penbicouple added some information regarding autism on this too. I can't quite remember without looking back at the threads. Yes there are other online forums people can go for support but I'd imagine that most people don't go looking at specialised information if they don't think it's applicable to them, when it might be. Plus ND people can have difficulties with relationships and sex so in my opinion this is an ideal place to have our own space. | |||
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"On a cheerier note, one of my colleagues in my new job is ND (I told everyone from the off that I was) but she told me just before Christmas, and it's great having someone at work to randomly info-dump on and too spend a lot of time laughing at ourselves. This has made me happy Oh I love this! I'm glad you're at a place where you can you can openly be you and not feel the need to hide your ND. If you we're hiding it you might not have found that connection with your colleague, It's lovely to read I'm glad things are improving for you.
Thank you I really appreciate that
I'm so releaved things are improving for me and that I've found a work environment where I can be myself. What's sad is there are so few adjustments needed, it's just a genuinely supportive environment ahdvthsts ll any of us really need
It just goes to show there are opportunities out there for us, where we can be ourselves and flourish.
"Yes definitely. And employers who don't treat us as a problem and a pain in the arse do exist! | |||
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"Hi Autistic here im newish to this and looking to make new friends to in in south wales " Hi
I think we are all scattered location wise but you never know who might pop up next. | |||
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"On a cheerier note, one of my colleagues in my new job is ND (I told everyone from the off that I was) but she told me just before Christmas, and it's great having someone at work to randomly info-dump on and too spend a lot of time laughing at ourselves. This has made me happy Oh I love this! I'm glad you're at a place where you can you can openly be you and not feel the need to hide your ND. If you we're hiding it you might not have found that connection with your colleague, It's lovely to read I'm glad things are improving for you.
Thank you I really appreciate that
I'm so releaved things are improving for me and that I've found a work environment where I can be myself. What's sad is there are so few adjustments needed, it's just a genuinely supportive environment ahdvthsts ll any of us really need
It just goes to show there are opportunities out there for us, where we can be ourselves and flourish.
Yes definitely. And employers who don't treat us as a problem and a pain in the arse do exist!
"Openreach is one such employer. | |||
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"Is it perhaps a tad unrealistic to expect fab to be all things to all people? I'd have thought there would be many other online forums that would offer more specific support " Do we say the same about gamers? Or campers? Yet, they get their own forum, over what is essentially quite trivial things. A good number of neurodivergent people are interested in swinging and unconventional relationships. I would bet my house that there are more ND folk using this site than gamers or campers (apart from where they overlap, of course). I have no problem at all with e.g. campers having their own forum. Yet, why not NDs, who would likely encounter specific and common issues when it comes to swinging and life in general? | |||
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"Is it perhaps a tad unrealistic to expect fab to be all things to all people? I'd have thought there would be many other online forums that would offer more specific support Do we say the same about gamers? Or campers? Yet, they get their own forum, over what is essentially quite trivial things. A good number of neurodivergent people are interested in swinging and unconventional relationships. I would bet my house that there are more ND folk using this site than gamers or campers (apart from where they overlap, of course). I have no problem at all with e.g. campers having their own forum. Yet, why not NDs, who would likely encounter specific and common issues when it comes to swinging and life in general? " Let's go on strike, everyone else is.  | |||
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"On a cheerier note, one of my colleagues in my new job is ND (I told everyone from the off that I was) but she told me just before Christmas, and it's great having someone at work to randomly info-dump on and too spend a lot of time laughing at ourselves. This has made me happy Oh I love this! I'm glad you're at a place where you can you can openly be you and not feel the need to hide your ND. If you we're hiding it you might not have found that connection with your colleague, It's lovely to read I'm glad things are improving for you.
Thank you I really appreciate that
I'm so releaved things are improving for me and that I've found a work environment where I can be myself. What's sad is there are so few adjustments needed, it's just a genuinely supportive environment ahdvthsts ll any of us really need
It just goes to show there are opportunities out there for us, where we can be ourselves and flourish.
Yes definitely. And employers who don't treat us as a problem and a pain in the arse do exist!
"I'm very lucky my employer are great, as are my boyfriend's and several of my ND friends - after all we move in packs
There are however plenty of companies that say they are accepting but in the end are far from it. | |||
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"On a cheerier note, one of my colleagues in my new job is ND (I told everyone from the off that I was) but she told me just before Christmas, and it's great having someone at work to randomly info-dump on and too spend a lot of time laughing at ourselves. This has made me happy Oh I love this! I'm glad you're at a place where you can you can openly be you and not feel the need to hide your ND. If you we're hiding it you might not have found that connection with your colleague, It's lovely to read I'm glad things are improving for you.
Thank you I really appreciate that
I'm so releaved things are improving for me and that I've found a work environment where I can be myself. What's sad is there are so few adjustments needed, it's just a genuinely supportive environment ahdvthsts ll any of us really need
It just goes to show there are opportunities out there for us, where we can be ourselves and flourish.
Yes definitely. And employers who don't treat us as a problem and a pain in the arse do exist!
I'm very lucky my employer are great, as are my boyfriend's and several of my ND friends - after all we move in packs
There are however plenty of companies that say they are accepting but in the end are far from it. "I wonder whether ND people generally have a better experience in the private or public sector. | |||
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"I wonder whether ND people generally have a better experience in the private or public sector." Personally for me the private sector has been far more accepting and understanding than the public or the third sector. | |||
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"On a cheerier note, one of my colleagues in my new job is ND (I told everyone from the off that I was) but she told me just before Christmas, and it's great having someone at work to randomly info-dump on and too spend a lot of time laughing at ourselves. This has made me happy Oh I love this! I'm glad you're at a place where you can you can openly be you and not feel the need to hide your ND. If you we're hiding it you might not have found that connection with your colleague, It's lovely to read I'm glad things are improving for you.
Thank you I really appreciate that
I'm so releaved things are improving for me and that I've found a work environment where I can be myself. What's sad is there are so few adjustments needed, it's just a genuinely supportive environment ahdvthsts ll any of us really need
It just goes to show there are opportunities out there for us, where we can be ourselves and flourish.
Yes definitely. And employers who don't treat us as a problem and a pain in the arse do exist!
I'm very lucky my employer are great, as are my boyfriend's and several of my ND friends - after all we move in packs
There are however plenty of companies that say they are accepting but in the end are far from it.
I wonder whether ND people generally have a better experience in the private or public sector."I was put through hell by the public sector yet. I'm not sure my experience is typical though. I'm in the not for profit sector now and they are a different world. I'd assume private sector would mainly care about efficiency/profitability | |||
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"I've worked in all 3 sectors and I think its really down to your immediate managers and what your individual job is. The third sector should be more accomodating, but they dont have much money and some jobs in that sector are hard, unforgiving, jobs . A friend worked looking after disabled adults and she had to phone the police occasionally because the adult she looked after could be violent. The employer didnt have any support for her and the staff manual just said "call 999". I work in an office and saw the way a colleague with Bipolar was pushed out. They only want you as long as you work as hard and fast as everyone else, as soon as youre 'difficult" or make other people unhappy they will start to target you. This was a large UK employer and, even though she also having chemo for stage 3 cancer at the time, they went through with a "performance improvement plan" that eventually led to her losing her job. I was actually in HR meetings about timekeeping with her where her chest chemo port was sticking out over the top she was wearing while she was in tears speaking to an HR rep. " Oh my goodness! I guess it is down to the individual employer but does that mean people just need to job hop until they find a suitable position in the right company? | |||
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"I have wondered whether "neurodivergent" folk can be very passionate? Outside the mainstream and lacking the ability to chat and be amiable in a general sense while being lovers who light you up in a way which is rare otherwise? Have you met someone with a current special interest? It's neurotypcals who aren't passionate. We are passionate to the point of obsessive sometimes. " I can vouch for you here and am living proof of this too!! Current interest/obsession is energy work. | |||
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"Well,an update. I knew the shit was gonna hit the fan. Got called in by my manager yesterday, and been put onto performance management again. Fir play though, she wasn't a dick about it. Case notes, risk assessments, harm reduction is the best she's seen. Admin is 'fucking horrific'. I've completed forms and right to choose paperwork and will try to get the ball rolling before the weekend." I've been in similar shoes, time to look around? | |||
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"Well,an update. I knew the shit was gonna hit the fan. Got called in by my manager yesterday, and been put onto performance management again. Fir play though, she wasn't a dick about it. Case notes, risk assessments, harm reduction is the best she's seen. Admin is 'fucking horrific'. I've completed forms and right to choose paperwork and will try to get the ball rolling before the weekend." Sorry to hear you're on performance management again. Glad you're sorting your assessment out though, it least you'll have some proof of your brand of wonk. | |||
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"I think with me I just kept looking until I found my niche where I can function well at work. For me that was a technical position doing something that I am actually interested in, being able to work unsupervised under my own initiative, not being tied to one location and with a bare minumum of admin work required. That keeps my ADHD on the useful side as I have no trouble focusing for the most part. It took some getting there though! I think so long as I can continue to work like that it wouldnt really matter which sector I was in." Been thinking about this, I think it takes a lot of self awareness, it's not easy to do when you've spent most of your life masking. It's really difficult trying to fight self imposed ableism and revealing who you really are. | |||
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"Well,an update. I knew the shit was gonna hit the fan. Got called in by my manager yesterday, and been put onto performance management again. Fir play though, she wasn't a dick about it. Case notes, risk assessments, harm reduction is the best she's seen. Admin is 'fucking horrific'. I've completed forms and right to choose paperwork and will try to get the ball rolling before the weekend. Sorry to hear you're on performance management again. Glad you're sorting your assessment out though, it least you'll have some proof of your brand of wonk. " Thank you. Not too worried, just try and plough through the boring shit for a couple of weeks and they'll take me off for a while
Got GP appointment today and right to choose paperwork completed | |||
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"Well,an update. I knew the shit was gonna hit the fan. Got called in by my manager yesterday, and been put onto performance management again. Fir play though, she wasn't a dick about it. Case notes, risk assessments, harm reduction is the best she's seen. Admin is 'fucking horrific'. I've completed forms and right to choose paperwork and will try to get the ball rolling before the weekend. Sorry to hear you're on performance management again. Glad you're sorting your assessment out though, it least you'll have some proof of your brand of wonk. Thank you. Not too worried, just try and plough through the boring shit for a couple of weeks and they'll take me off for a while
Got GP appointment today and right to choose paperwork completed"Oh ok just a tick box procedure for them then! Hopefully you won't have long to wait on the right to choose | |||
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Much love! You all matter, you're all needed in this world, stay crazy!  | |||
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"Omg Have I found my peeps? Peeps that understand? Hello! I (Mrs) am on the autistic spectrum. I find it effects my swinging life quite considerably. I hate late changes: so to the average person: if someone is late or has to make changes of time or location, they cope. Nope! Not me. Melt down in my head. So to minimise the after effects of going slightly insane and no one really understanding- I just go- ok! And block! - extreme! Yes ! But total self preservation after having stress knock me sideways. I appreciate this isn’t normal and harsh. But it reduces worry and anxiety for me, and this more peaceful for my husband. I over think things. Yes, the normal woman actually is thinking about a hundred things whilst about to get kinky. But- I’m thinking of a 1000- and that includes the ticking clock in the room that I can’t hear and is so FUCKING annoying. And the curtain that isn’t quite hanging right, so that means people may be watching and the only way I know they’re not, is to straighten it. Or that the biscuits in the room are only shortbread and choc chip; which do I have first; and would that mean I can’t have one later? The list goes on… you get the drift how my mind is drifting? All the time! Try to focus on sex? The man / woman with me? I’ll be lucky. A solution: keep me physically busy. I find it easier if I am wanking something or massaging something. Sounds heavenly right? No; because it means I rarely get to lie back and just enjoy someone pleasuring me. Control: my mind annoys me as it will pre empt any situation and will have thought it out fifty times before it happens. I can’t do spontaneous things. They freak me out. But this leads to disappointment- as they obviously don’t go the way I want and THINK they should in the bedroom. - solution found: take away my power. I find I have enjoyed sex most when I have trusted my partner to take the decisions for me. I’m held, tied up, whatever. It seems to work, so far. But obviously that takes time and trust. Repetitive movements piss me off! Harsh! Yes! But don’t try stroking my leg over and over and over. Don’t touch me like that after I’ve cum. My body just wants ti lash out and kick you! Over reactive! Sure! I’m really trying to work on that; but I’m deeply uncomfortable. My mouth: it’s blunt! Sorry! I say it the way it is. I hate it. I just don’t GET being sympathetic at times and I’m sorry. But when it comes to you being shit at kissing or licking me out; You’ll soon know as I’ll not want you to do it. Move on. This may seem normal: but maybe I’m not explaining this part too well at how harsh my body and mind will reject you in the act. So; that’s just a few of my weird things that put having sex to the test. Irony is; I adore sex! Adore having sex, talking, giving, playing… but boy! Is it a challenge for it to be good. Thanks for this group. I’m going to go look at other threads later. For now, can I ask for any other girls to reach out to me to say hi! I look forward to hopefully someone being a pathetic (oh the irony). Peace to you all X" Welcome welcome welcome! Yes we are your people! (I reacted the exact same way when I found these threads in fabs forums. Restores your faith in prople/humanity (and if you're like me, restores faith in yourself, kinda, I guess that's more not feeling alone with it all | |||
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"Hi all, I've been on fab for years under a few guises, but this is my first proper contribution to the forum. I have acquired neurodivergency. This is caused by trauma over 15 years ago. My short-term memory is the biggest thing I struggle with along with organisation and concentration. I know acquired ND is different to Applied and Clinical ND and that the symptoms can be very very different. Does anyone else have Acquired ND? I will gladly speak to anyone who needs to talk to someone to offload. R " Hi
We're an inclusive bunch here! You are more than welcome.
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"Omg Have I found my peeps? Peeps that understand? Hello! I (Mrs) am on the autistic spectrum. I find it effects my swinging life quite considerably. " Hi welcome
Thanks for popping in! I find it fascinating reading about other people's wonky experiences.
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"Welcome to the wonky corner of fab "Hey lovely, hope you're ok. I tried to message you but you have couples blocked. | |||
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"Hello everyone. I've been offline for a couple of weeks because life things. Good life things though! I feel like I've levelled up and more significantly, I have some confidence I won't fuck it up. Confidence is something of a novelty! I hope everyone is doing well. Shocking and so very sad to read about Thumper. It does feel very close to home as others have said. " Love this for you! Thumper | |||
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"Hey all, been away for a bit and now back for a bit " Hi welcome back. | |||
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"Does anyone fancy starting part 12 ? As it's not far off now. Should we do a theme for the next thread or carry on with random chat? Any ideas at all?" Done. | |||
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