FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Cheaters of Fabs
Cheaters of Fabs
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
Greetings married or otherwise attached people of Fabswingers. I mean people who are on here without the knowledge of their partner. Why are you here? What's your motivation?
I will start: In all fairness I haven't had a meet since I got married and I am not actively looking but I suspect if an opportunity comes up I will go for it. I think I've rationalised it as "what she doesn't know can't hurt her"
What about you? |
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By *ihmMan
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Greetings married or otherwise attached people of Fabswingers. I mean people who are on here without the knowledge of their partner. Why are you here? What's your motivation?
I will start: In all fairness I haven't had a meet since I got married and I am not actively looking but I suspect if an opportunity comes up I will go for it. I think I've rationalised it as "what she doesn't know can't hurt her"
What about you?"
I think this subject may not go down too well in some quarters. Things could get a bit shouty....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Greetings married or otherwise attached people of Fabswingers. I mean people who are on here without the knowledge of their partner. Why are you here? What's your motivation?
I will start: In all fairness I haven't had a meet since I got married and I am not actively looking but I suspect if an opportunity comes up I will go for it. I think I've rationalised it as "what she doesn't know can't hurt her"
What about you?"
I sometimes wonder at the bravery/stupidity *(delete as appropriate) of some posters |
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Everyone have their own reazon and should be respected independently if are in a relationship or not if are cheating or not , they have the same right as you and me in be in here.
If someone would meet someone who know they are cheating , that is a personal choice of each individual
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"I think this subject may not go down too well in some quarters. Things could get a bit shouty......."
I don't see why. If people don't want to discuss it they don't have to. I was just thinking about it myself. I mostly come on here to look and enjoy the forum. But like I said, if someone attractive and willing pm'd me and it was convenient there's a good chance I'd go for it. This thought went through my head seconds after remarking to myself how good my life is and how great being married is. I wonder if others are also of two minds about it like I am. |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"
I sometimes wonder at the bravery/stupidity *(delete as appropriate) of some posters "
Perhaps in my case, it's the latter. Clearly, this thread is a sore spot for some. I wonder why? There's no judgement from me as that would be hypocritical. |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"I think I've rationalised it as "what she doesn't know can't hurt her"
And what about the hurt it could cause if she did find out....can you still rationalise that???? "
You underestimate the power of a man to delude himself: I do not believe I will be caught. |
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By *ohn KanakaMan
over a year ago
Not all that North of North London |
People have their reasons, I don't overly judge and their morals and decisions are their's to deal with.
But I struggle when a partner is being disrespected, that's not an attractive trait, and this thread and your reasons do seem disrespectful. |
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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago
Gapping Fanny |
People are here for many reasons and many of the vehement “anti cheaters” are not so clean cut themselves, but they have a rep to uphold.
The only concern I have is being upfront so people can choose to meet you or based on their own morality. There was a guy who posted fairly recently that he met a married lady, and since then he had felt guilty. |
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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago
inverclyde |
Simple...married wife dont know its cheating no matter what...never say never on being caught I know someone who was on here who thought he would never got caught..he did and lost everything he had...house, kids and respect from his friends..even to this day his kids have very little to do with him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The trouble you'll have OP is that people can't read a thread and move on. You ask a question and they will pretend you asked a different one and answer that instead.
'Hey everyone, what is your favourite cereal?'
'Cereals disgust me with all the sugar. You need to rethink your life OP' |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"Everyone have their own reazon and should be respected independently if are in a relationship or not if are cheating or not , they have the same right as you and me in be in here.
If someone would meet someone who know they are cheating, that is a personal choice of each individual
"
I agree. There is no judgement from me. I am just curious. Every person is free to make their own decisions. But as a single male on Fabs, especially one who isn't dishonest about their relationship status it's fairly easy not to meet anyone |
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"
I sometimes wonder at the bravery/stupidity *(delete as appropriate) of some posters
Perhaps in my case, it's the latter. Clearly, this thread is a sore spot for some. I wonder why? There's no judgement from me as that would be hypocritical."
Try finding out your spouse has been cheating on you & your world falling apart. The worry about splitting assets, possibly losing your home, kids etc… it’s absolutely heartbreaking & I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I sometimes wonder at the bravery/stupidity *(delete as appropriate) of some posters
Perhaps in my case, it's the latter. Clearly, this thread is a sore spot for some. I wonder why? There's no judgement from me as that would be hypocritical."
It's a swinging site. Swinging is about honesty and mutual fun times.
I often wonder why attached and cheating folk choose a swinging site rather than an affairs site.
Perhaps it's the myth that Swingers fuck anyone who asks. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If people want to sleep around, fine, IF you are single OR have permission of a partner. I can never understand why people cheat, just bloody leave them and be single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Greetings married or otherwise attached people of Fabswingers. I mean people who are on here without the knowledge of their partner. Why are you here? What's your motivation?
I will start: In all fairness I haven't had a meet since I got married and I am not actively looking but I suspect if an opportunity comes up I will go for it. I think I've rationalised it as "what she doesn't know can't hurt her"
What about you?"
A fuck with a stranger would be a major motivator.
Wanking over pics and chats with real people about potential meets (that will never happen) is another. |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"And why are you on fab op"
I had this account a little over a decade ago when I lived in the UK. I moved away and visited on occasion. I met someone and got married and we're in the UK together. I had wanted to meet someone but frankly, single male profile being what it is that impulse lasted a month. Now I just read the forums and post in a thread or two. Read the local updates fab a photo here and a video there. And generally amuse myself with what could be while I enjoy what I have. But like I said. I suspect if I was inundated with offers I might bite. |
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By *eano78Man
over a year ago
Worthing |
Has anyone answered the question yet? Life is often far more complicated than some people can grasp, particularly those who already know everything. Like everything in life, there are grey areas in between and tolerance on both sides is often wise, especially when you don't have all the facts. At least I'm not Russian, I guess... |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
I have amended my profile to say I won’t meet married or attached men. That’s not due to any judgement on others just my own personal experience.
I met someone on fab and they had been on here for a few years. We started dating and he said he’d been separated for over 3 years. I’m sure you know where this going.
Anyway to get a message from the wife and then talk to her on the phone was not an experience I’d like to repeat.
Cheating wrecks lives and is hugely disrespectful . |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"
I sometimes wonder at the bravery/stupidity *(delete as appropriate) of some posters
Perhaps in my case, it's the latter. Clearly, this thread is a sore spot for some. I wonder why? There's no judgement from me as that would be hypocritical.
Try finding out your spouse has been cheating on you & your world falling apart. The worry about splitting assets, possibly losing your home, kids etc… it’s absolutely heartbreaking & I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. "
I agree, it wasn't fun when it happened to me. But we moved past it. I realised the biggest issue was that she was detached from the relationship when she was seeing this other guy. However, I think it would hurt less if it happened again and so long as I wasn't neglected I'd turn a blind eye. But I do see your point |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"I have amended my profile to say I won’t meet married or attached men. That’s not due to any judgement on others just my own personal experience.
I met someone on fab and they had been on here for a few years. We started dating and he said he’d been separated for over 3 years. I’m sure you know where this going.
Anyway to get a message from the wife and then talk to her on the phone was not an experience I’d like to repeat.
Cheating wrecks lives and is hugely disrespectful . "
Fair enough that's a very reasonable position I think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have amended my profile to say I won’t meet married or attached men. That’s not due to any judgement on others just my own personal experience.
I met someone on fab and they had been on here for a few years. We started dating and he said he’d been separated for over 3 years. I’m sure you know where this going.
Anyway to get a message from the wife and then talk to her on the phone was not an experience I’d like to repeat.
Cheating wrecks lives and is hugely disrespectful . "
Noooo.... Say that you are very happy to meet married and attached men as long as they let you know.
Then they will be honest with you and you can tell them to fuck off before you meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just want to say that it should be OK on this specific platform to raise & ask opinions & share thoughts/experiences on delicate subjects like this.
This issue will always have so many various differing opinions. Some very strong feelings either side with some indifferent.
But surely a site such as Fab Swingers is one of the few ways people can openly discuss things like this that you probably wouldn't be able to otherwise.
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By *eano78Man
over a year ago
Worthing |
"I have amended my profile to say I won’t meet married or attached men. That’s not due to any judgement on others just my own personal experience.
I met someone on fab and they had been on here for a few years. We started dating and he said he’d been separated for over 3 years. I’m sure you know where this going.
Anyway to get a message from the wife and then talk to her on the phone was not an experience I’d like to repeat.
Cheating wrecks lives and is hugely disrespectful .
Noooo.... Say that you are very happy to meet married and attached men as long as they let you know.
Then they will be honest with you and you can tell them to fuck off before you meet them. " How many guys here do you think are attached and are lying about it? And how many would you happily meet in blissful ignorance? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have amended my profile to say I won’t meet married or attached men. That’s not due to any judgement on others just my own personal experience.
I met someone on fab and they had been on here for a few years. We started dating and he said he’d been separated for over 3 years. I’m sure you know where this going.
Anyway to get a message from the wife and then talk to her on the phone was not an experience I’d like to repeat.
Cheating wrecks lives and is hugely disrespectful .
Noooo.... Say that you are very happy to meet married and attached men as long as they let you know.
Then they will be honest with you and you can tell them to fuck off before you meet them.
How many guys here do you think are attached and are lying about it?
And how many would you happily meet in blissful ignorance?"
How many are attached and lying? *Loads*
Meet in blissful ignorance? None. |
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We have no secrets as a couple, we met on tinder and decided to give swinging a go before we even met, we are now married and enjoy a full swap swinging lifestyle, our relationship just gets stronger and stronger with time. Our honesty towards each other isxwhat makes it work for us. Happy swinging guys |
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I'm on FAB with my girlfriend. We meet as a couple and solo if possible ....(a lot easier for her than me). And we discuss everything.
I was talking to a woman a while back things started to progress and then she told me she was married, I told her no judgement from me everyone's lives are different but I couldn't meet because I wouldn't be comfortable with that situation. The fact her husband was a 2nd Dan karate expert helped make that decision easier shame because she was lovely |
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"Just want to say that it should be OK on this specific platform to raise & ask opinions & share thoughts/experiences on delicate subjects like this.
This issue will always have so many various differing opinions. Some very strong feelings either side with some indifferent.
But surely a site such as Fab Swingers is one of the few ways people can openly discuss things like this that you probably wouldn't be able to otherwise.
"
That's very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I've rationalised it as "what she doesn't know can't hurt her"
And what about the hurt it could cause if she did find out....can you still rationalise that???? " my thought on this is when my wife cheated she told me for her own selfish reasons and it crucified my what i would say if you love your partner and still feel the need to look elsewhere keep your gob shut |
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By *rettyflamingoWoman
over a year ago
Where the flamboyance of flamingos live |
"I have amended my profile to say I won’t meet married or attached men. That’s not due to any judgement on others just my own personal experience.
I met someone on fab and they had been on here for a few years. We started dating and he said he’d been separated for over 3 years. I’m sure you know where this going.
Anyway to get a message from the wife and then talk to her on the phone was not an experience I’d like to repeat.
Cheating wrecks lives and is hugely disrespectful .
Noooo.... Say that you are very happy to meet married and attached men as long as they let you know.
Then they will be honest with you and you can tell them to fuck off before you meet them. How many guys here do you think are attached and are lying about it? And how many would you happily meet in blissful ignorance?"
I’m under no illusions that I may well meet and might have met some that are attached but if i know then That’s different. I have at times told myself it’s not my conscious not me deceiving anyone but I still feel uncomfortable about it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We wondered when we first came on Fab if married men may be more careful about STI’s and potentially be more discrete.
We quickly realised that’s all generalised bollocks of course.
We wouldn’t knowingly meet one for the much more real possibility of some very angry woman trying to kick a hotel door in having followed the idiot. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I am married and no she doesn't know I'm here, I became interested in the lifestyle after watching a documentary and then listening to a podcast that's how I found out about fab, I am not looking for sexual meets but socials, and chat, since finding out about the swinging lifestyle it is something I would like me and my wife to be part of not necessarily swapping but being in that environment of having sex with each other whilst others are having sex I find sexy, but I just don't know how to speak to her about it which is another reason I joined but all I have gotten is pretty much shamed |
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"And why are you on fab op
I had this account a little over a decade ago when I lived in the UK. I moved away and visited on occasion. I met someone and got married and we're in the UK together. I had wanted to meet someone but frankly, single male profile being what it is that impulse lasted a month. Now I just read the forums and post in a thread or two. Read the local updates fab a photo here and a video there. And generally amuse myself with what could be while I enjoy what I have. But like I said. I suspect if I was inundated with offers I might bite."
So do you think you are missing out on something your wife can’t give you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont judge others with what they do none of my business ... its alway been a problem for others with knowing who married or not and the truth is many who say they wont meet married do unknowingly ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I am married and no she doesn't know I'm here, I became interested in the lifestyle after watching a documentary and then listening to a podcast that's how I found out about fab, I am not looking for sexual meets but socials, and chat, since finding out about the swinging lifestyle it is something I would like me and my wife to be part of not necessarily swapping but being in that environment of having sex with each other whilst others are having sex I find sexy, but I just don't know how to speak to her about it which is another reason I joined but all I have gotten is pretty much shamed"
i really dont understand how people marry each other yet dont know each other or talk to each other your supose to know each other inside out ...we see on here often guys saying they dont know how to ask the wife but if you gont know her then yer fucked as your supose to be the closet thing to her ??? how can you be married and not know her ???
or is it a case you do know her and you klnow 100% she will say no so you do it behind her back anyway ?? |
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By *ihmMan
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I think this subject may not go down too well in some quarters. Things could get a bit shouty.......
I don't see why. If people don't want to discuss it they don't have to. I was just thinking about it myself. I mostly come on here to look and enjoy the forum. But like I said, if someone attractive and willing pm'd me and it was convenient there's a good chance I'd go for it. This thought went through my head seconds after remarking to myself how good my life is and how great being married is. I wonder if others are also of two minds about it like I am."
Because some people have a problem with cheating and people who do it. Do you not think maybe for the sake of a shag you are putting all of that at risk? That is what I don't understand about people who cheat, is it worth it? Surely you are undervaluing the life you have with your partner or over valuing getting your dick wet?
Do you think about the possible consequences while you are doing it? Is that part of the thrill?
Suppose your wife is thinking the same? But what you don't know won't hurt you right?
All genuine questions, having been on the other side of it in the past, I have often wondered what appeals to people who do it and as the discussion has started no better time to ask
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes I am married and no she doesn't know I'm here, I became interested in the lifestyle after watching a documentary and then listening to a podcast that's how I found out about fab, I am not looking for sexual meets but socials, and chat, since finding out about the swinging lifestyle it is something I would like me and my wife to be part of not necessarily swapping but being in that environment of having sex with each other whilst others are having sex I find sexy, but I just don't know how to speak to her about it which is another reason I joined but all I have gotten is pretty much shamed
i really dont understand how people marry each other yet dont know each other or talk to each other your supose to know each other inside out ...we see on here often guys saying they dont know how to ask the wife but if you gont know her then yer fucked as your supose to be the closet thing to her ??? how can you be married and not know her ???
or is it a case you do know her and you klnow 100% she will say no so you do it behind her back anyway ??"
I haven't meet anyone or done anything behind her back I became aware of this through a documentary whilst we where together and like I said it's something I wanted to find out more |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"Well here we go again,another cheat looking for approval of others and wanting attention and yes getting it,cheating is cheating end of no excuses and have my heartbroken reasons outside fab for saying this so won't be replying to any sob stories. All attached cheats both men and women use this site for own selfish desires and cause waaaaaaay to much drama.byeeeeeeeee!!!!!
"
You should try not to read your own experience into what others are doing. I haven't sought approval from anybody nor do I deny that if I actually slept with someone or even started flirting with someone on here it would be morally wrong. I acknowledge my rationalisations. I am sorry you were hurt in the past though |
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"Well here we go again,another cheat looking for approval of others and wanting attention and yes getting it,cheating is cheating end of no excuses and have my heartbroken reasons outside fab for saying this so won't be replying to any sob stories. All attached cheats both men and women use this site for own selfish desires and cause waaaaaaay to much drama.byeeeeeeeee!!!!!
You should try not to read your own experience into what others are doing. I haven't sought approval from anybody nor do I deny that if I actually slept with someone or even started flirting with someone on here it would be morally wrong. I acknowledge my rationalisations. I am sorry you were hurt in the past though "
And there you go looking for approval and trying to rationalise your dishonesty of being her behind wife's back.
Why don't you bring her into the life style or are you worried she'd find it more fun than you.
I'm having a blast in life whilst my ex lives alone without the love of me or kids so happy days PMSL.bring her into fab mate if your love life isn't doing it for you !!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people want to sleep around, fine, IF you are single OR have permission of a partner. I can never understand why people cheat, just bloody leave them and be single "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people want to sleep around, fine, IF you are single OR have permission of a partner. I can never understand why people cheat, just bloody leave them and be single
"
This is what I don't understand. No judgement but if they're unhappy and they clearly are to be looking behind their partners back in the first place just leave. As soon as simple things like Snapchat messages start getting hidden the relationship is as good as over. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can’t abide cheats, it’s disrespectful and shows an utter disrespect for your partner who most claim to love.
Might seem judgy but IDGAF. I’ve actually never been cheated on as far as I know so it doesn’t come from a place of past hurt. |
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"So having a fantasy you want to explore with your wife that you only recently discovered is wrong, doesn't everyone get new fantasies "
The op isn't talking about sharing fantasies with his wife involved though is he!!!
Much like your profile suggests you're looking to share these times with your wife why is yours a single guys account,show pics of wife if you want interest PMSL(drops Mike and closes door). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So having a fantasy you want to explore with your wife that you only recently discovered is wrong, doesn't everyone get new fantasies
The op isn't talking about sharing fantasies with his wife involved though is he!!!
Much like your profile suggests you're looking to share these times with your wife why is yours a single guys account,show pics of wife if you want interest PMSL(drops Mike and closes door)."
How many more times I got to say I just don't know how to go about talking about it hence why I joined to see if someone else has been I my position |
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"
So do you think you are missing out on something your wife can’t give you
I think if I felt that way I might be more active in trying to meet people."
So why are you here then if you are happy and not missing out? |
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What cheats have to understand is that why would anyone meet them when they obviously have no respect for their own partner, so they are hardly going to have any for random strangers.
Same goes for whatever sob story they come out with, if they are are capable of lying to their partner then they are more than likely going to lie to anyone they hope to meet.
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"So having a fantasy you want to explore with your wife that you only recently discovered is wrong, doesn't everyone get new fantasies
The op isn't talking about sharing fantasies with his wife involved though is he!!!
Much like your profile suggests you're looking to share these times with your wife why is yours a single guys account,show pics of wife if you want interest PMSL(drops Mike and closes door).
How many more times I got to say I just don't know how to go about talking about it hence why I joined to see if someone else has been I my position "
You do keep on saying how many more times yet you're not listening bro lol.
Just be open with her,check t.v listings and engage in conversation about swinging and sex not that any of that matters as your on here posting meets so profile is just bull and you've no intention of bringing wife into the lifestyle.dont take this as a personal character assassination it's aimed at all the cheats,I've seen the drama both male and female cheats bring because of their own egos and get soooooo defensive when the truth comes out.blah blah blah yawn. |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"
So do you think you are missing out on something your wife can’t give you
I think if I felt that way I might be more active in trying to meet people.
So why are you here then if you are happy and not missing out? "
I popped on here after years away from it. I quite enjoy the forum. Even when I am getting roasted and angering some of its users. |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"You’ve said you like being married and you’re happy, you have a face pic on here, your wife doesn’t know.
What could possibly go wrong……"
It's a photo from 2013 uploaded around then, years before I had met my wife. The messages are all forum topic related. I'd let her browse the account if she found out about it and face whatever consequences came of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So having a fantasy you want to explore with your wife that you only recently discovered is wrong, doesn't everyone get new fantasies
The op isn't talking about sharing fantasies with his wife involved though is he!!!
Much like your profile suggests you're looking to share these times with your wife why is yours a single guys account,show pics of wife if you want interest PMSL(drops Mike and closes door).
How many more times I got to say I just don't know how to go about talking about it hence why I joined to see if someone else has been I my position
You do keep on saying how many more times yet you're not listening bro lol.
Just be open with her,check t.v listings and engage in conversation about swinging and sex not that any of that matters as your on here posting meets so profile is just bull and you've no intention of bringing wife into the lifestyle.dont take this as a personal character assassination it's aimed at all the cheats,I've seen the drama both male and female cheats bring because of their own egos and get soooooo defensive when the truth comes out.blah blah blah yawn."
A meet for a social with a couple states coffee and chat |
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"If people want to sleep around, fine, IF you are single OR have permission of a partner. I can never understand why people cheat, just bloody leave them and be single "
Yeah this, if the relationship ship lacks that just move on, why fuck around..? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Cheats are cunts, simple as that. No matter how it's dressed up, and no matter what the marital status, cheating on your partner is not cool. This is especially true when there's children in the household. Anyone who is willing to break up a home does not respect the lives of the children who have to suffer the consequences. It's abhorant. I'm sure cheaters will be outraged by this assertion, but in all honesty they can fuck off. It's wrong no matter what they might tell themselves. Why not go to Ashley M and leave Fab for good old fashioned swinging and unattached fuckery.
Mr. |
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"So having a fantasy you want to explore with your wife that you only recently discovered is wrong, doesn't everyone get new fantasies
The op isn't talking about sharing fantasies with his wife involved though is he!!!
Much like your profile suggests you're looking to share these times with your wife why is yours a single guys account,show pics of wife if you want interest PMSL(drops Mike and closes door).
How many more times I got to say I just don't know how to go about talking about it hence why I joined to see if someone else has been I my position
You do keep on saying how many more times yet you're not listening bro lol.
Just be open with her,check t.v listings and engage in conversation about swinging and sex not that any of that matters as your on here posting meets so profile is just bull and you've no intention of bringing wife into the lifestyle.dont take this as a personal character assassination it's aimed at all the cheats,I've seen the drama both male and female cheats bring because of their own egos and get soooooo defensive when the truth comes out.blah blah blah yawn.
A meet for a social with a couple states coffee and chat "
Yes it does,you've no need to state the obvious for your own peace of mind,I do know what a social is bro.dont forget to tell the wifey though.xxx |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"
I sometimes wonder at the bravery/stupidity *(delete as appropriate) of some posters
Perhaps in my case, it's the latter. Clearly, this thread is a sore spot for some. I wonder why? There's no judgement from me as that would be hypocritical.
Try finding out your spouse has been cheating on you & your world falling apart. The worry about splitting assets, possibly losing your home, kids etc… it’s absolutely heartbreaking & I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I agree, it wasn't fun when it happened to me. But we moved past it. I realised the biggest issue was that she was detached from the relationship when she was seeing this other guy. However, I think it would hurt less if it happened again and so long as I wasn't neglected I'd turn a blind eye. But I do see your point"
Just to be clear, are you saying that your current wife cheated on you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Yes I am married and no she doesn't know I'm here, I became interested in the lifestyle after watching a documentary and then listening to a podcast that's how I found out about fab, I am not looking for sexual meets but socials, and chat, since finding out about the swinging lifestyle it is something I would like me and my wife to be part of not necessarily swapping but being in that environment of having sex with each other whilst others are having sex I find sexy, but I just don't know how to speak to her about it which is another reason I joined but all I have gotten is pretty much shamed"
Google 'mojo upgrade'. It's a sex quiz where you tick things you like or want to try. It only shows answers where you both tick 'like'. |
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"Greetings married or otherwise attached people of Fabswingers. I mean people who are on here without the knowledge of their partner. Why are you here? What's your motivation?
I will start: In all fairness I haven't had a meet since I got married and I am not actively looking but I suspect if an opportunity comes up I will go for it. I think I've rationalised it as "what she doesn't know can't hurt her"
What about you?"
For a man it’s pretty simple. They are here to fuck some pussy no strings Think that’s about the level of motivation |
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I can’t help wondering about how your wife would feel about your logic and questionable morals.
You say you’re happily married, and your headline is ‘No longer meeting’ but you admit you’d probably ‘go for it’ if an opportunity comes up.
Seems you’re trying to justify your cheating, and I sincerely hope you discover your wife is on here with her own profile and dozens of her own veris.
I suspect, though, she has absolutely no idea that she’s married a man who she doesn’t even know. |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"I can’t help wondering about how your wife would feel about your logic and questionable morals.
You say you’re happily married, and your headline is ‘No longer meeting’ but you admit you’d probably ‘go for it’ if an opportunity comes up.
Seems you’re trying to justify your cheating, and I sincerely hope you discover your wife is on here with her own profile and dozens of her own veris.
I suspect, though, she has absolutely no idea that she’s married a man who she doesn’t even know. "
I'm not justifying anything. And I changed my profile from its decade old text this morning. It's hard to rationalise when aggressively called out on it.
You assume much. Did I mention this profile is over a decade older than my marriage? |
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"
You assume much. Did I mention this profile is over a decade older than my marriage?"
I’m assuming nothing. I read your profile and directly quoted it. I stand by my comment, which you effectively invited by starting this thread. Why not ask your wife what she thinks? |
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Having seen the number of divorces in my family through infidelity it is an act I will never condone. My wife and I decided early on in our relationship that Monogamy was not for us and we have been ENM ever since and we do everything we can to ensure that those we are seeing are in a similar situation, we do not knowingly enable cheaters. |
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"I can’t help wondering about how your wife would feel about your logic and questionable morals.
You say you’re happily married, and your headline is ‘No longer meeting’ but you admit you’d probably ‘go for it’ if an opportunity comes up.
Seems you’re trying to justify your cheating, and I sincerely hope you discover your wife is on here with her own profile and dozens of her own veris.
I suspect, though, she has absolutely no idea that she’s married a man who she doesn’t even know.
I'm not justifying anything. And I changed my profile from its decade old text this morning. It's hard to rationalise when aggressively called out on it.
You assume much. Did I mention this profile is over a decade older than my marriage?"
Browsing for what though? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Having seen the number of divorces in my family through infidelity it is an act I will never condone. My wife and I decided early on in our relationship that Monogamy was not for us and we have been ENM ever since and we do everything we can to ensure that those we are seeing are in a similar situation, we do not knowingly enable cheaters."
Great attitude and approach. I have had sisters and friends who were married and cheated on, it shattered them. As for people saying what they do not know cannot hurt, well, you would be surprised how things are found out |
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"Great attitude and approach. I have had sisters and friends who were married and cheated on, it shattered them. As for people saying what they do not know cannot hurt, well, you would be surprised how things are found out "
Thank you, and you are absolutely right, the truth will often come out in the weirdest of ways and won’t end well for the cheater. I hope the OP understands how much his divorce will cost him. |
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Let he who is without sin etc etc etc
I've only ever cheated on one person and that was my ex wife. She never caught me but it didn't stop what I did from damaging the relationship.
All my relationships are now ENM and I'm all the better for it. I'm currently being chased by a married woman who's husband doesn't know she has affairs.
Hands up because I haven't been with my poly partner since the beginning of June I'm tempted as fuck but as per usual because her hubby doesn't know I will find a way to talk myself out of meeting her again (we did kiss). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You say you’re not trying to justify anything but clearly you are trying to justify it.
Why men start these threads and get offended that they’re being judged I don’t know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You assume much. Did I mention this profile is over a decade older than my marriage?"
So you already set the relationship up to fail by keeping your profile without her knowledge instead of deleting it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Greetings married or otherwise attached people of Fabswingers. I mean people who are on here without the knowledge of their partner. Why are you here? What's your motivation?
I will start: In all fairness I haven't had a meet since I got married and I am not actively looking but I suspect if an opportunity comes up I will go for it. I think I've rationalised it as "what she doesn't know can't hurt her"
What about you?"
What she doesn't know can't hurt her?
When she finds out she will be devistated and eventually she will unfortunately find out.
And are you happy keeping secrets in your marriage.
Good luck to you and I hope for both of your sakes she doesn't find out. |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"
Just to be clear, are you saying that your current wife cheated on you?
Yes"
It sounds to me that you two need to bring a bit (a lot) of honesty into your relationship, or perhaps you both don't consider honesty as being that important. Have you considered having a discussion with your wife about opening up your relationship to something that's consensually non-monogamous? |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"
You assume much. Did I mention this profile is over a decade older than my marriage?
I’m assuming nothing. I read your profile and directly quoted it. I stand by my comment, which you effectively invited by starting this thread. Why not ask your wife what she thinks?"
I took exception to "she has no idea who she is married to. Because there's a leap from "he has account on swinging site from before he was married" to "he's active on a swinging site". |
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"I took exception to "she has no idea who she is married to. Because there's a leap from "he has account on swinging site from before he was married" to "he's active on a swinging site". "
Yet here you are active on a swingers site, and writing a thread about cheating. Your intent is perfectly clear to everyone but yourself. |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"
Yet here you are active on a swingers site, and writing a thread about cheating. Your intent is perfectly clear to everyone but yourself. "
So there's no difference in your view between looking for people to meet and shooting the shit on the forum? |
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By *J-87Man
over a year ago
Donington |
I've been with my partner 5 years, and only had sex with her in that time. She's older than me and has done the swinging thing, I haven't but I'm curious. I want the thrill of having sex with someone else.
She doesn't know obviously. |
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So why am I, a married man, on here as a solo male? I've been with my wife for 36 years. During that time we had a great sex life. Unfortunately she has always suffered with mental health issues stemming from childhood emotional neglect. Over the years they have developed into body image issues, despite my constant reassurances, which made her feel undesirable and felt uncomfortable being touched. This has been made worse following the menopause when it became extremely painful when we tried to have sex. So we haven't had sex for over 10 years. She knows I still desire it and as much as she wants it, she feels unable to. We are both still deeply in love and do not want to split up, so she has said that if I need to, I can see others as long as she doesn't get to know about it. Does that make me a cheater? I suppose in some eyes it does, but on some ways it keeps our marriage strong as I look for nsa sex rather than risking an affair where I could be emotionally torn and lose our marriage.
|
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"So why am I, a married man, on here as a solo male? I've been with my wife for 36 years. During that time we had a great sex life. Unfortunately she has always suffered with mental health issues stemming from childhood emotional neglect. Over the years they have developed into body image issues, despite my constant reassurances, which made her feel undesirable and felt uncomfortable being touched. This has been made worse following the menopause when it became extremely painful when we tried to have sex. So we haven't had sex for over 10 years. She knows I still desire it and as much as she wants it, she feels unable to. We are both still deeply in love and do not want to split up, so she has said that if I need to, I can see others as long as she doesn't get to know about it. Does that make me a cheater? I suppose in some eyes it does, but on some ways it keeps our marriage strong as I look for nsa sex rather than risking an affair where I could be emotionally torn and lose our marriage.
"
I think even the ethics police here would agree that you have her permission. |
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"So why am I, a married man, on here as a solo male? I've been with my wife for 36 years. During that time we had a great sex life. Unfortunately she has always suffered with mental health issues stemming from childhood emotional neglect. Over the years they have developed into body image issues, despite my constant reassurances, which made her feel undesirable and felt uncomfortable being touched. This has been made worse following the menopause when it became extremely painful when we tried to have sex. So we haven't had sex for over 10 years. She knows I still desire it and as much as she wants it, she feels unable to. We are both still deeply in love and do not want to split up, so she has said that if I need to, I can see others as long as she doesn't get to know about it. Does that make me a cheater? I suppose in some eyes it does, but on some ways it keeps our marriage strong as I look for nsa sex rather than risking an affair where I could be emotionally torn and lose our marriage.
"
You've missed the whole point of the topic. If she's aware and allows you to then there's nothing wrong with that and it isn't cheating. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yet here you are active on a swingers site, and writing a thread about cheating. Your intent is perfectly clear to everyone but yourself.
So there's no difference in your view between looking for people to meet and shooting the shit on the forum?"
Except you said you’d meet given half the chance! |
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"I've been with my partner 5 years, and only had sex with her in that time. She's older than me and has done the swinging thing, I haven't but I'm curious. I want the thrill of having sex with someone else.
She doesn't know obviously."
"Honest & genuine" |
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By *la87 OP Man
over a year ago
acton |
"
Except you said you’d meet given half the chance! "
What I said was "I suspect I'd go for it if the chance presented itself". It's a small difference. It's resignation to one's own weakness rather than enthusiastic expression of interest. |
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" What I said was "I suspect I'd go for it if the chance presented itself". It's a small difference. It's resignation to one's own weakness rather than enthusiastic expression of interest."
Let’s ask your wife if she thinks there’s a difference… |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Just to be clear, are you saying that your current wife cheated on you?
Yes
It sounds to me that you two need to bring a bit (a lot) of honesty into your relationship, or perhaps you both don't consider honesty as being that important. Have you considered having a discussion with your wife about opening up your relationship to something that's consensually non-monogamous? "
This OP if your wife chested on you then clearly she's open to fucking other people. You have kept this profile throughout meeting and marrying your wife even if it's just for forums.
Why don't you explore with your with swinging together?
KJ |
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"So why am I, a married man, on here as a solo male? I've been with my wife for 36 years. During that time we had a great sex life. Unfortunately she has always suffered with mental health issues stemming from childhood emotional neglect. Over the years they have developed into body image issues, despite my constant reassurances, which made her feel undesirable and felt uncomfortable being touched. This has been made worse following the menopause when it became extremely painful when we tried to have sex. So we haven't had sex for over 10 years. She knows I still desire it and as much as she wants it, she feels unable to. We are both still deeply in love and do not want to split up, so she has said that if I need to, I can see others as long as she doesn't get to know about it. Does that make me a cheater? I suppose in some eyes it does, but on some ways it keeps our marriage strong as I look for nsa sex rather than risking an affair where I could be emotionally torn and lose our marriage.
You've missed the whole point of the topic. If she's aware and allows you to then there's nothing wrong with that and it isn't cheating."
I agree to a certain extent, but some ladies on here won't meet a married guy unless they talk to his other half for confirmation that he has permission. So they view no confirmation as cheating.
|
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"
What I said was "I suspect I'd go for it if the chance presented itself". It's a small difference. It's resignation to one's own weakness rather than enthusiastic expression of interest."
You might be fooling yourself, but you’re not fooling anybody else. |
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We won’t meet cheaters or anyone attached and cheating. For us it show the man or woman.. no spine… if they can cheat what other ways are they deceptive. There is that old saying cheaters never prosper |
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Is this thread still running with guys using every excuse to win favour lol.
So i know a woman on here who shall remain nameless yet i know who she is and we have had conversations in which she absoulty runs her partner down as a lazy shit who doesn't do anything for her yet i know him and he is a top guy,provides for family and kids whilst she takes guys into the family home and fucks whilst he's putting a roof over her head.Is that cheating or what,
I'm confused by why all cheats keep coming up with sob stories,go on BGT you'll stand more chance winning on there lol. |
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"So why am I, a married man, on here as a solo male? I've been with my wife for 36 years. During that time we had a great sex life. Unfortunately she has always suffered with mental health issues stemming from childhood emotional neglect. Over the years they have developed into body image issues, despite my constant reassurances, which made her feel undesirable and felt uncomfortable being touched. This has been made worse following the menopause when it became extremely painful when we tried to have sex. So we haven't had sex for over 10 years. She knows I still desire it and as much as she wants it, she feels unable to. We are both still deeply in love and do not want to split up, so she has said that if I need to, I can see others as long as she doesn't get to know about it. Does that make me a cheater? I suppose in some eyes it does, but on some ways it keeps our marriage strong as I look for nsa sex rather than risking an affair where I could be emotionally torn and lose our marriage.
You've missed the whole point of the topic. If she's aware and allows you to then there's nothing wrong with that and it isn't cheating.
I agree to a certain extent, but some ladies on here won't meet a married guy unless they talk to his other half for confirmation that he has permission. So they view no confirmation as cheating.
"
I can understand why they ask for confirmation though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP, You are not helpless in this situation, it is of your choosing. If you have needs unfulfilled, share them to either get a solution at home that works, be honest that you will be open to satisfying them elsewhere or leave. Just because she cheated on you, you think you can do the same? Only you don't see that you did it first keeping this profile behind her back when you got together/ got married. You should have deleted it & tied off all loose ends for the commitment to your marriage. Maybe she got the idea to keep options open from you. |
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"
I sometimes wonder at the bravery/stupidity *(delete as appropriate) of some posters
Perhaps in my case, it's the latter. Clearly, this thread is a sore spot for some. I wonder why? There's no judgement from me as that would be hypocritical.
Try finding out your spouse has been cheating on you & your world falling apart. The worry about splitting assets, possibly losing your home, kids etc… it’s absolutely heartbreaking & I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. "
exactly this |
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"Cheats are cunts, simple as that. No matter how it's dressed up, and no matter what the marital status, cheating on your partner is not cool. This is especially true when there's children in the household. Anyone who is willing to break up a home does not respect the lives of the children who have to suffer the consequences. It's abhorant. I'm sure cheaters will be outraged by this assertion, but in all honesty they can fuck off. It's wrong no matter what they might tell themselves. Why not go to Ashley M and leave Fab for good old fashioned swinging and unattached fuckery.
Mr."
Absolutely this
HW |
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I met 2 married people in the past (obviously 2 separate female lol)
Anyways they told me they are married ... I listen to their story ... They are unhappy , not satisfied at home etc etc etc
I only then based on their story will have reg meet... But I wouldn't if I'm being used to break a relationship or cause more pain for the couple... That ain't fair
... But on the other subject... They both where amazing in the bedroom... God know how their man's are not enjoying what they had |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
Unwillingly met one lady from here couple of times. She told me she is divorced with kids (actually same as I) so we met at hotel that was perfect for bot of us. Few days after our last meet her husband texted me from her phone while she was asleep.
Had very awkward feeling. Was really sorry for him and uncomfortable. Block her everywhere possible. Dont want any interaction of this kind at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I met 2 married people in the past (obviously 2 separate female lol)
Anyways they told me they are married ... I listen to their story ... They are unhappy , not satisfied at home etc etc etc
I only then based on their story will have reg meet... But I wouldn't if I'm being used to break a relationship or cause more pain for the couple... That ain't fair
... But on the other subject... They both where amazing in the bedroom... God know how their man's are not enjoying what they had "
You realise women lie too? Just because they told you a sob story doesn’t mean it’s true! |
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"Cheats are cunts, simple as that. No matter how it's dressed up, and no matter what the marital status, cheating on your partner is not cool. This is especially true when there's children in the household. Anyone who is willing to break up a home does not respect the lives of the children who have to suffer the consequences. It's abhorant. I'm sure cheaters will be outraged by this assertion, but in all honesty they can fuck off. It's wrong no matter what they might tell themselves. Why not go to Ashley M and leave Fab for good old fashioned swinging and unattached fuckery.
Mr.
Absolutely this
HW"
|
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"I met 2 married people in the past (obviously 2 separate female lol)
Anyways they told me they are married ... I listen to their story ... They are unhappy , not satisfied at home etc etc etc
I only then based on their story will have reg meet... But I wouldn't if I'm being used to break a relationship or cause more pain for the couple... That ain't fair
... But on the other subject... They both where amazing in the bedroom... God know how their man's are not enjoying what they had
You realise women lie too? Just because they told you a sob story doesn’t mean it’s true! "
Yes very true ... Long learning curve ... Got into a tangle ... But I backed out at the right time |
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