FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Rejection so difficult
Rejection so difficult
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
I speak from my pov but why is this site and my experience my long experience of the swinging lifestyle full of sensitive women (or men in your case I'm sure) that take rejection however politely phrased so difficult.
For 6+ I've bitten my lip on this issue.
I'm always polite and careful when letting someone down gently and yet females on here always take it harshly or have to have the last word.
A couple not so long ago did this they wouldn't shut up no matter how many times I said it's ok I'm not interested and they then had to get all personal.
I have a limit for me its 6years it seems but today I just thought why is it like this.
I joined fab hoping to meet open minded mentally stable unbroken mature people yet it seems the vast majority ive come across are just mad.
Rant over.
What's your experiences? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm here a year and a few months and I've never had a woman take it thick when I've said I wasnt intersted. To be honest though, you could count the amount of times that has happened on one hand and still have change lol |
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By *eesideMan
over a year ago
margate sumwear by the sea |
"I speak from my pov but why is this site and my experience my long experience of the swinging lifestyle full of sensitive women (or men in your case I'm sure) that take rejection however politely phrased so difficult.
For 6+ I've bitten my lip on this issue.
I'm always polite and careful when letting someone down gently and yet females on here always take it harshly or have to have the last word.
A couple not so long ago did this they wouldn't shut up no matter how many times I said it's ok I'm not interested and they then had to get all personal.
I have a limit for me its 6years it seems but today I just thought why is it like this.
I joined fab hoping to meet open minded mentally stable unbroken mature people yet it seems the vast majority ive come across are just mad.
Rant over.
What's your experiences?"
All I've ever got or had is a social.
What's it like being wanted ?  |
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It’s like any walk of life you have some more secure than others and all each one of us can be is true to ourselves. Some people will accept it and some won’t. The fact you are mentioning the effect it had on others suggests you’re a tidy fella so keep smiling |
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If someone tells me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone deletes a message to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone blocks me to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
This isn't the place to be if you're going to take rejection to heart. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's rare enough a woman messages me or replies, but lately I've found myself not finding anyone really attractive on here.
I just see this as a bit of potential fun, but I dont see it as the only way to search for friends or lovers.
Usually I go out into the world and meet people that way.
This place is just for a bit of fantasy |
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Been here 8 years. Only had one bad experience with a lady. It wasn’t about rejection more just being generally rude to me after I had given them a long period of support. Also wanting a photo even though I made it clear there would be no point in it.
Everything I said on the forums would be dissected over Kik and DMs. I just ignored it in the end shame as I was happy to help initially. |
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We’ve never had anyone get upset that we’ve rejected them.
But that could be because it’s only the polite well written messages we receive that get replied to, and they ‘tend’ to be from people that have common sense and a brain. These folk realise that not everyone finds every other person attractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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rejection and swinging do not mix if someone can not handle a simple no thanks then how the hell can the expect to be part of a scene full of choices ??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rejection is all part of it - it’s just about overcoming it & not taking it personal!
I got a lot of Not interested, messages deleted over my time on fab! But, just wish them well and carry on with your day.
You’ve just got to think “Yano what, I just wasn’t their type. I’m someone else’s though!” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I speak from my pov but why is this site and my experience my long experience of the swinging lifestyle full of sensitive women (or men in your case I'm sure) that take rejection however politely phrased so difficult.
For 6+ I've bitten my lip on this issue.
I'm always polite and careful when letting someone down gently and yet females on here always take it harshly or have to have the last word.
A couple not so long ago did this they wouldn't shut up no matter how many times I said it's ok I'm not interested and they then had to get all personal.
I have a limit for me its 6years it seems but today I just thought why is it like this.
I joined fab hoping to meet open minded mentally stable unbroken mature people yet it seems the vast majority ive come across are just mad.
Rant over.
What's your experiences?"
i haven't had any really negative experiences for years now and i think its because of my very laid back approach to it all and thats the secret to any internet domain, patience, manners, personality and self awareness    |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
Well I just had another one. Thought a maturer aged person would have had more composure however I was wrong.
No names being given but what I wrote was taken negatively and out of context and then I wrote well ok thats what has happened however its enough to not want me to continue so good luck and goodbye and then that person just had to justify themselves in a reply which is boring im not here to play such games so I explained and again wished them all the best and said that there is no reason to reply.
if she replies again ill block.
I tend not to block anyone as I always felt that you never know people may mature and grow up further down the line but seriously this is getting silly.
as a sensible well educated mature and well grounded individual im thinking swinging may be more hassle than its worth hahaah
another rant over - so glad this forum exists or id end up ranting to my neighbourhood cad hahaha |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
lol I get the men too and they seem to believe that just because they have a fantasy of having my cock in them or are horny it means that I may do or be which is silly.
and the only reason that I am in a position to turn women down sometimes not always is because I believe ive been here for a long time and im fairly active and jovial.
I also contact as many as I can to strike a conversation and then its from that that I realise if any are not on my wavelength.
unfortunately so many seem to be broken, sensitive or negative that I worry haha |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
Not everyone finds me attractive in daily life therefore I wouldn't expect everyone on here to either.
I've not had anyone be rude when I've said no. One has struggled with it and I worry about his mental health but I'm not sure I can help him.  |
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"I speak from my pov but why is this site and my experience my long experience of the swinging lifestyle full of sensitive women (or men in your case I'm sure) that take rejection however politely phrased so difficult.
For 6+ I've bitten my lip on this issue.
I'm always polite and careful when letting someone down gently and yet females on here always take it harshly or have to have the last word.
A couple not so long ago did this they wouldn't shut up no matter how many times I said it's ok I'm not interested and they then had to get all personal.
I have a limit for me its 6years it seems but today I just thought why is it like this.
I joined fab hoping to meet open minded mentally stable unbroken mature people yet it seems the vast majority ive come across are just mad.
Rant over.
What's your experiences?"
My experience
Block and move forward  |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
well as expected she replied back and ive opened read and ignored to be a bigger person and just not entertain her justifications.
seriously its silly. in normal everyday life I meet people we all seem to get along and there isnt anything thats remotely taken out of context or sensitively and yet on here i seem to attract some of the opposite.
curse you Apollo Lynx!!! haha |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
I've been told I'm not someone's type, I just said no problem, happy swinging.
There's another guy I met in person at chams and he said he felt no spark between us, we still speak when we are out and there's no awkwardness of hard feelings. People just need to grow up and understand that everyone has their preferences. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I've been told I'm not someone's type, I just said no problem, happy swinging.
There's another guy I met in person at chams and he said he felt no spark between us, we still speak when we are out and there's no awkwardness of hard feelings. People just need to grow up and understand that everyone has their preferences. "
Or, not of. |
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"If someone tells me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone deletes a message to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone blocks me to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
This isn't the place to be if you're going to take rejection to heart."
This. |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
From the other end of the argument I have absolutely no problem with a polite + honest rejection. A simple “thank you for your interest but it’s a ‘no’ from us” will always do the trick! What I do take personally sometimes [and perhaps I shouldn’t] is when people are n o t honest about the fact that they are not interest in me. |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Not quite believing the OP if we’re being really honest 
Seems to be a slightly ironic tone to this semi rant  "
Same. It's unusual I would say for a woman to get silly over being rejected. Why should she when there are so many other, more suitable, men on here?
I think I smell a rat 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not quite believing the OP if we’re being really honest
Seems to be a slightly ironic tone to this semi rant
Same. It's unusual I would say for a woman to get silly over being rejected. Why should she when there are so many other, more suitable, men on here?
I think I smell a rat
"
Uh oh
They’re onto you! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I would like to know how I would react but I've not been rejected yet as I don't message first.
Perhaps I should.
Ok I reject you (for arguments sake haha) so how do you feel? Lol"
Considering you're not my type anyway I'm actually alright  |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"And the award for Fab's Longest Profile goes to...
Sorry, OP, couldn't resist! No-one could accuse you of a lack of detail!
Sorry you're having a tough few days. Ignore, block and chin up! "
lol thanks mate! and yeah im due for an update on there I may do that now actually |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"I would like to know how I would react but I've not been rejected yet as I don't message first.
Perhaps I should.
Ok I reject you (for arguments sake haha) so how do you feel? Lol
Considering you're not my type anyway I'm actually alright "
lol likewise hence why I was able to do it so quickly haha |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Not quite believing the OP if we’re being really honest
Seems to be a slightly ironic tone to this semi rant
Same. It's unusual I would say for a woman to get silly over being rejected. Why should she when there are so many other, more suitable, men on here?
I think I smell a rat
"
that would be the smell of my lynx - if you have read the thread you will see what i mean |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"I would like to know how I would react but I've not been rejected yet as I don't message first.
Perhaps I should.
Ok I reject you (for arguments sake haha) so how do you feel? Lol
Considering you're not my type anyway I'm actually alright
lol likewise hence why I was able to do it so quickly haha"
Lol update done...thanks for being part of the inspiration - boom! drop the mic! lol |
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"If someone tells me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone deletes a message to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone blocks me to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
This isn't the place to be if you're going to take rejection to heart."
100%, why worry about someone who isn't interested in you? I don't see that as rejection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And the award for Fab's Longest Profile goes to...
Sorry, OP, couldn't resist! No-one could accuse you of a lack of detail!
Sorry you're having a tough few days. Ignore, block and chin up!
lol thanks mate! and yeah im due for an update on there I may do that now actually"
Agreed! I get complaints that mine is too long. OP what kind of reception does yours get? I'll be honest, I couldn't even make it through a third. I'm genuinely interested in hearing how most people react to a profile of that length
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone tells me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone deletes a message to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone blocks me to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
This isn't the place to be if you're going to take rejection to heart."
Well said, we have to be pretty thick skinned on here and just let it wash over you. |
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"I speak from my pov but why is this site and my experience my long experience of the swinging lifestyle full of sensitive women (or men in your case I'm sure) that take rejection however politely phrased so difficult.
For 6+ I've bitten my lip on this issue.
I'm always polite and careful when letting someone down gently and yet females on here always take it harshly or have to have the last word.
A couple not so long ago did this they wouldn't shut up no matter how many times I said it's ok I'm not interested and they then had to get all personal.
I have a limit for me its 6years it seems but today I just thought why is it like this.
I joined fab hoping to meet open minded mentally stable unbroken mature people yet it seems the vast majority ive come across are just mad.
Rant over.
What's your experiences?"
I hear your pain. We women suffer this abuse. I once told a guy "no thanks" and he called me a fat c**t etc. I'm size 8 and I gym goer so not sure how he thought that of me but it hurt me that he was so abusive. I let him rant for about 3,4 messages then told him I'd reported him to fab admin, which I did. X |
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I was told by a woman in a couple i was being rude not replying to her messages. I think there's somewhere in fab guidelines, if you're not interested, don't reply... Right? (btw I'm not interested in women or threesome with couples) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I speak from my pov but why is this site and my experience my long experience of the swinging lifestyle full of sensitive women (or men in your case I'm sure) that take rejection however politely phrased so difficult.
For 6+ I've bitten my lip on this issue.
I'm always polite and careful when letting someone down gently and yet females on here always take it harshly or have to have the last word.
A couple not so long ago did this they wouldn't shut up no matter how many times I said it's ok I'm not interested and they then had to get all personal.
I have a limit for me its 6years it seems but today I just thought why is it like this.
I joined fab hoping to meet open minded mentally stable unbroken mature people yet it seems the vast majority ive come across are just mad.
Rant over.
What's your experiences?
I hear your pain. We women suffer this abuse. I once told a guy "no thanks" and he called me a fat c**t etc. I'm size 8 and I gym goer so not sure how he thought that of me but it hurt me that he was so abusive. I let him rant for about 3,4 messages then told him I'd reported him to fab admin, which I did. X"
The sad thing there is he was taking his own insecurities out on you and that's not fair nor right, and leads to people just deleting and blocking without a polite no thank you, which in my opinion is a little rude in itself, it's a break down in civil communication and that can only be a bad thing in any society.
Again, in my humble opinion. |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"I speak from my pov but why is this site and my experience my long experience of the swinging lifestyle full of sensitive women (or men in your case I'm sure) that take rejection however politely phrased so difficult.
For 6+ I've bitten my lip on this issue.
I'm always polite and careful when letting someone down gently and yet females on here always take it harshly or have to have the last word.
A couple not so long ago did this they wouldn't shut up no matter how many times I said it's ok I'm not interested and they then had to get all personal.
I have a limit for me its 6years it seems but today I just thought why is it like this.
I joined fab hoping to meet open minded mentally stable unbroken mature people yet it seems the vast majority ive come across are just mad.
Rant over.
What's your experiences?
I hear your pain. We women suffer this abuse. I once told a guy "no thanks" and he called me a fat c**t etc. I'm size 8 and I gym goer so not sure how he thought that of me but it hurt me that he was so abusive. I let him rant for about 3,4 messages then told him I'd reported him to fab admin, which I did. X"
I dont understand why anyone needs to behave like such.
What did fab admin do? |
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"Not quite believing the OP if we’re being really honest
Seems to be a slightly ironic tone to this semi rant "
Same. Last veri in person apart from a guy. Was 2014. He is defo beating off the women |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Not quite believing the OP if we’re being really honest
Seems to be a slightly ironic tone to this semi rant
Same. Last veri in person apart from a guy. Was 2014. He is defo beating off the women "
 last visible verification duh! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Dude, go to a club.. If you get rejected there and that pisses you off then this site really isnt for you.. This is the internet ffs.. Havent you ever had someone ghost you on tinder? |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Dude, go to a club.. If you get rejected there and that pisses you off then this site really isnt for you.. This is the internet ffs.. Havent you ever had someone ghost you on tinder?"
What are you talking about was that me dude? |
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By *arpet manMan
over a year ago
resorts world tonight say hi ! |
Skimmed through messages so sorry if I go over what's said before but I did notice a few women saying how easy it it's to move onto the next and get over rejection and it maybe if you are female and you could pick up anyone of several meets offered to you if your a man on here especially starting out and I rem_mber it well it can literally get soul destroying
Lady's imagine sending out request after request for meets and scrolling down half are never read at all some say deleted when I'm sure they'd not even been read then it gets worse you get a reply and chat for a while going great you think ok face pic time you send yours wait for a reply go to send a simply message asking what they thought and get the dreaded message
"Sorry it seems the user you have messaged is either no loner on the site it they may have blocked you!"
Lady's have their problems digging through 100s of mages to find someone decent we how to get noticed .
Opposite problems but sometimes it's so worth it
Get mad about it, maybe upset , maybe pissed off a little then try all over again
I sometimes wish everyone would rem_mber sometimes we all have a real life ,bills ,work, awkward families and personal problems please this is meant to be fun let's treat it that way more often
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"Rejection is only difficult for the first one hundred times.
After that it's a piece of cake. "
i must be into the 1000s with my rejections after 11 years. Its long since been a big deal. I expect it with every message i send these days, and thats what happens. |
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"Skimmed through messages so sorry if I go over what's said before but I did notice a few women saying how easy it it's to move onto the next and get over rejection and it maybe if you are female and you could pick up anyone of several meets offered to you if your a man on here especially starting out and I rem_mber it well it can literally get soul destroying
Lady's imagine sending out request after request for meets and scrolling down half are never read at all some say deleted when I'm sure they'd not even been read then it gets worse you get a reply and chat for a while going great you think ok face pic time you send yours wait for a reply go to send a simply message asking what they thought and get the dreaded message
"Sorry it seems the user you have messaged is either no loner on the site it they may have blocked you!"
Lady's have their problems digging through 100s of mages to find someone decent we how to get noticed .
Opposite problems but sometimes it's so worth it
Get mad about it, maybe upset , maybe pissed off a little then try all over again
I sometimes wish everyone would rem_mber sometimes we all have a real life ,bills ,work, awkward families and personal problems please this is meant to be fun let's treat it that way more often
"
Some good points here. I know I came here because whilst in love I feel lonely and rejected at home in terms of intimacy. Figured this would help build confidence and have fun. But just reinforced the feelings at home of never being enough |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Skimmed through messages so sorry if I go over what's said before but I did notice a few women saying how easy it it's to move onto the next and get over rejection and it maybe if you are female and you could pick up anyone of several meets offered to you if your a man on here especially starting out and I rem_mber it well it can literally get soul destroying
Lady's imagine sending out request after request for meets and scrolling down half are never read at all some say deleted when I'm sure they'd not even been read then it gets worse you get a reply and chat for a while going great you think ok face pic time you send yours wait for a reply go to send a simply message asking what they thought and get the dreaded message
"Sorry it seems the user you have messaged is either no loner on the site it they may have blocked you!"
Lady's have their problems digging through 100s of mages to find someone decent we how to get noticed .
Opposite problems but sometimes it's so worth it
Get mad about it, maybe upset , maybe pissed off a little then try all over again
I sometimes wish everyone would rem_mber sometimes we all have a real life ,bills ,work, awkward families and personal problems please this is meant to be fun let's treat it that way more often
"
The problem with that is alot of men just send messages to everyone with a vagina, we can spot a chancer easily so those messages get ignored, our profiles often aren't read so we get the men that are nothing like what we are after, tell me why we should spend our time on that? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Dude, go to a club.. If you get rejected there and that pisses you off then this site really isnt for you.. This is the internet ffs.. Havent you ever had someone ghost you on tinder?
What are you talking about was that me dude? "
Yeah dude.. No offence but youve only got one shit photo and a profile so long not even jk rowling would want to read it. You cant be beating off the requests from that surely.. x |
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"If someone tells me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone deletes a message to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone blocks me to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
This isn't the place to be if you're going to take rejection to heart."
This is the only way to be on here. Cant please everyone. Weve been told no and tell others no. As long as it remains civil it's all good. |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Dude, go to a club.. If you get rejected there and that pisses you off then this site really isnt for you.. This is the internet ffs.. Havent you ever had someone ghost you on tinder?
What are you talking about was that me dude?
Yeah dude.. No offence but youve only got one shit photo and a profile so long not even jk rowling would want to read it. You cant be beating off the requests from that surely.. x "
im not sure if you read the thread this was about me rejecting females and 1 couple that took it far too sensitively and wouldnt let go.
This isnt about me being rejected nor have I even remotely mentioned anything akin to being rejected.
My 14 odd verifications show im ok as I am as well as the fact that my lack of verifications over 6years show both my choice in being picky and my lack of time due to my contact travelling as always explained in my profile.
comments from dudes and dudettes as yourself will only make others see me in a negative and that wasnt the purpose of this thread nor necessary.
kind critiques or advice would be better served being directed to my personal mailbox not here as all this has done is take time away from the thread and for those that have read this thread (and maybe read my profile if they can be bothered)
thanks for the advice mate but it wasnt needed as im not the one feeling butt hurt from any kind of rejection im speaking about those that I have rejected over 6 years that just dont friggin let it go!
im allowed a rant once in the forums in 6years surely.
besides if any cared to click at the arrow next to my name and seen the various random forum posts I create i dont recall ever having ranted.
so will you all just chill and let a man his moment of rant and for those im ranting about chill out too lmao
and yeah this also addresses those that dont believe me its not about whether you believe me or not its about me letting myself blow at the craziness of some females and a couple on here.....sure there are bad sheep amongt the good I just had to let this one rip today as I thought oh come on send me someone normal lol
As my profile shows today with the update I was saved by 1 normal female I actually seemed to have a normal adult mature and clearly understood conversation with so hoorah!! |
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By *arpet manMan
over a year ago
resorts world tonight say hi ! |
I know women can't read every message and answer everyone it's not your fault if I message you and you look at you in box and think I can't be arsed I'll just delete I actual blame the people who are on the site who have no intention of meeting who clog up the system fill the inboxes!
I always read profiles I try and write a personal message even put the weird words in the subject box yet still left unread I get over it I can handle it but every unread or deleted message is a small rejection justified or not |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Skimmed through messages so sorry if I go over what's said before but I did notice a few women saying how easy it it's to move onto the next and get over rejection and it maybe if you are female and you could pick up anyone of several meets offered to you if your a man on here especially starting out and I rem_mber it well it can literally get soul destroying
Lady's imagine sending out request after request for meets and scrolling down half are never read at all some say deleted when I'm sure they'd not even been read then it gets worse you get a reply and chat for a while going great you think ok face pic time you send yours wait for a reply go to send a simply message asking what they thought and get the dreaded message
"Sorry it seems the user you have messaged is either no loner on the site it they may have blocked you!"
Lady's have their problems digging through 100s of mages to find someone decent we how to get noticed .
Opposite problems but sometimes it's so worth it
Get mad about it, maybe upset , maybe pissed off a little then try all over again
I sometimes wish everyone would rem_mber sometimes we all have a real life ,bills ,work, awkward families and personal problems please this is meant to be fun let's treat it that way more often
The problem with that is alot of men just send messages to everyone with a vagina, we can spot a chancer easily so those messages get ignored, our profiles often aren't read so we get the men that are nothing like what we are after, tell me why we should spend our time on that? "
Surely everyone here is a chancer? there is nothing wrong with a man sending multiple messages hoping to strike it lucky. Isnt that the same with females that want attention wearing attire or make up or whatever to garner that attention and yet we dont say that female is a chancer for lying about her height with heels or attenuating her breasts with that extra special magic bra.
Its natural for men to chance it to try and get attention here that doesnt mean they are good or bad so yeah men im standing up for us all whether were the chancers or not lol.
In regards to your profiles arent read do you know how many females read profiles, I bet you its same or less. The only difference is is that due to there being more men on here were more obvious in trends than the women are.
No you shouldnt spend your time on anything except what you want however how you choose to judge men is where you are lacking.
Sure if you seek a BBC or an ITV and yet the man messaging you is from channel 5 instead sure ignore or delete or block thats your perogative.
if a man hasnt read your profile either sure upto you.
However it could also be that there is a man just like what you desire but not exactly 100% - we arent all lucky here just because a woman has nice tits doesnt always mean we got gold, we all have to be rational in what we expect but what is truly out there.
However there is no need for anyone to be rude especially from being rejected and that was the purpose of this thread.
amen! |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"I know women can't read every message and answer everyone it's not your fault if I message you and you look at you in box and think I can't be arsed I'll just delete I actual blame the people who are on the site who have no intention of meeting who clog up the system fill the inboxes!
I always read profiles I try and write a personal message even put the weird words in the subject box yet still left unread I get over it I can handle it but every unread or deleted message is a small rejection justified or not "
well said bud! nailed it! |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"If someone tells me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone deletes a message to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
If someone blocks me to tell me they aren't interested it's fine, no worries.
This isn't the place to be if you're going to take rejection to heart.
This is the only way to be on here. Cant please everyone. Weve been told no and tell others no. As long as it remains civil it's all good."
exactly its all about being civil! those that are rude or want or need to have the last laugh need to sling their hooks.
I joined here 6 odd years ago hoping that this place being a swingers site would mean mature open minded far more respectable and understanding people but it seems both men and women that are these things are being over crowded by the numpties and sensitive ragdolls that just arent.
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Skimmed through messages so sorry if I go over what's said before but I did notice a few women saying how easy it it's to move onto the next and get over rejection and it maybe if you are female and you could pick up anyone of several meets offered to you if your a man on here especially starting out and I rem_mber it well it can literally get soul destroying
Lady's imagine sending out request after request for meets and scrolling down half are never read at all some say deleted when I'm sure they'd not even been read then it gets worse you get a reply and chat for a while going great you think ok face pic time you send yours wait for a reply go to send a simply message asking what they thought and get the dreaded message
"Sorry it seems the user you have messaged is either no loner on the site it they may have blocked you!"
Lady's have their problems digging through 100s of mages to find someone decent we how to get noticed .
Opposite problems but sometimes it's so worth it
Get mad about it, maybe upset , maybe pissed off a little then try all over again
I sometimes wish everyone would rem_mber sometimes we all have a real life ,bills ,work, awkward families and personal problems please this is meant to be fun let's treat it that way more often
"
the other problem is that women and im sure us men do it it stereotype people.
Asians here are heavily stereotyped ive seen it so often and thats just an example.
So when we stereotype we may let go of a true gem and thus whats left is at times the fodder we simply dont want and then we get the blame game and the rants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can please only some of the people only some of the time but never all of the people all of the time, prob sums this up best.
If someone turns out to be rude after I’ve gracefully rejected their advances then I just think ‘boy, lucky escape’ & keep it moving.
There’s far too much choice on here to get hung up on the ones you will ultimately have no interest in  |
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"You can please only some of the people only some of the time but never all of the people all of the time, prob sums this up best.
If someone turns out to be rude after I’ve gracefully rejected their advances then I just think ‘boy, lucky escape’ & keep it moving.
There’s far too much choice on here to get hung up on the ones you will ultimately have no interest in "
So very true its when they dont let you go that you think what the frak haha |
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I've had a few rejections on here and you just have to look at it as nothing personal, you wont ever be attractive to everyone and often not to the people you really hope will find you attractive either.
You wont be everyone's type.
Theres no need to get shirty about it so just carry on chatting and dont be a dick, if you liked them enough to talk to before they said no then why stop there, you could be missing out on making a good friend regardless of not getting laid.
It's also hard being the one doing the rejecting as you never know what the response will be. Some are fine but others turn nasty sadly.
Their loss if they do.
Move on from it and dont get dragged down by it, there are plenty of lovely people on here to interact with
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By *sianManc OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"I've had a few rejections on here and you just have to look at it as nothing personal, you wont ever be attractive to everyone and often not to the people you really hope will find you attractive either.
You wont be everyone's type.
Theres no need to get shirty about it so just carry on chatting and dont be a dick, if you liked them enough to talk to before they said no then why stop there, you could be missing out on making a good friend regardless of not getting laid.
It's also hard being the one doing the rejecting as you never know what the response will be. Some are fine but others turn nasty sadly.
Their loss if they do.
Move on from it and dont get dragged down by it, there are plenty of lovely people on here to interact with
"
Exactly so hope you shirty people are taking notes! lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Skimmed through messages so sorry if I go over what's said before but I did notice a few women saying how easy it it's to move onto the next and get over rejection and it maybe if you are female and you could pick up anyone of several meets offered to you if your a man on here especially starting out and I rem_mber it well it can literally get soul destroying
Lady's imagine sending out request after request for meets and scrolling down half are never read at all some say deleted when I'm sure they'd not even been read then it gets worse you get a reply and chat for a while going great you think ok face pic time you send yours wait for a reply go to send a simply message asking what they thought and get the dreaded message
"Sorry it seems the user you have messaged is either no loner on the site it they may have blocked you!"
Lady's have their problems digging through 100s of mages to find someone decent we how to get noticed .
Opposite problems but sometimes it's so worth it
Get mad about it, maybe upset , maybe pissed off a little then try all over again
I sometimes wish everyone would rem_mber sometimes we all have a real life ,bills ,work, awkward families and personal problems please this is meant to be fun let's treat it that way more often
"
it is life, all this is is an internet domain and happy is as happy does, women rule here and they get the tiny benefits this website has, if after sending a face pic they don't fancy you or dare i say it he doesn't fancy you then how should they justify deleting and blocking, unfortunately the site backs the no reply not interested philosophy, this site in terms of replies is very frustrating but many guys could improve their chances by making their profiles the best they can be eg great write up and great pics and by sending well thought out messages based on target profiles, the Op on this thread is somehow winding the women up hes interacting with and getting a negative reaction, i never get a negative reaction I'm always a gent and never feel the need to be ungentlemanly even if I don't fancy them |
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"And the award for Fab's Longest Profile goes to...
Sorry, OP, couldn't resist! No-one could accuse you of a lack of detail!
Sorry you're having a tough few days. Ignore, block and chin up!
lol thanks mate! and yeah im due for an update on there I may do that now actually
Agreed! I get complaints that mine is too long. OP what kind of reception does yours get? I'll be honest, I couldn't even make it through a third. I'm genuinely interested in hearing how most people react to a profile of that length
"
Yours is practically a Ladybird Easy Reader compared to OP's War and Peace!
No judgement, but I think there is a sweet-spot in profile length: enough to be interesting and say more than 'looking to meet', but on the right side of unwelcoming or impenetrable! Not saying I've achieved that, by the way, but you know it when you see it! |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"
However it could also be that there is a man just like what you desire but not exactly 100% - we arent all lucky here just because a woman has nice tits doesnt always mean we got gold, we all have to be rational in what we expect but what is truly out there.
"
If he's not meeting the minimal criteria mentioned on my profile then he definitely isn't like what I desire.
I understand what the thread is about and I totally agree, there's no need for rudeness from anyone, regardless of their gender. My response was to the guy saying 'think how it feels to be ignored all the time' etc. There's no excuse for rudeness, even if you're ignored all the time. |
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We weren’t piling in on OP lol, and I don’t think anyone else was either. He’s started a thread that is interesting if a little wordy, presumably expecting some feedback or ideas.
We don’t feel we can help much, particularly because we’re still not even clear if OP is talking about internet type rejection, or real life or club life type rejection.
Still following though |
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"I speak from my pov but why is this site and my experience my long experience of the swinging lifestyle full of sensitive women (or men in your case I'm sure) that take rejection however politely phrased so difficult.
For 6+ I've bitten my lip on this issue.
I'm always polite and careful when letting someone down gently and yet females on here always take it harshly or have to have the last word.
A couple not so long ago did this they wouldn't shut up no matter how many times I said it's ok I'm not interested and they then had to get all personal.
I have a limit for me its 6years it seems but today I just thought why is it like this.
I joined fab hoping to meet open minded mentally stable unbroken mature people yet it seems the vast majority ive come across are just mad.
Rant over.
What's your experiences?
I hear your pain. We women suffer this abuse. I once told a guy "no thanks" and he called me a fat c**t etc. I'm size 8 and I gym goer so not sure how he thought that of me but it hurt me that he was so abusive. I let him rant for about 3,4 messages then told him I'd reported him to fab admin, which I did. X
The sad thing there is he was taking his own insecurities out on you and that's not fair nor right, and leads to people just deleting and blocking without a polite no thank you, which in my opinion is a little rude in itself, it's a break down in civil communication and that can only be a bad thing in any society.
Again, in my humble opinion. "
Totally agree. Being civilised especially on a swinging site is key x |
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I used to try and answer all messages and if not interested say sorry not meeting anyone new rather than just say ur not my type.
Iv had anything from "thanks fornthe reply" to "didnt want to meet a fat cunt like u anyway".
I never wink or message first so why send abuse like that if u were the one to message me?
Met one guy for a social and decided not for me so he messaged anyone I knew/verified/ verified me including a few people from a big social telling them lies ( very nasty stuff) about me. Eventually after blocking him on about 10 profiles hed made and contacting admin i had to threaten him with police for him to then say ur on a sex site u slut theyl laugh at u.
Eventually had to reduce myself to his tactics and say I'd contact his work cos he was on fab on their time on a company fone and wd contact his wife ( was separated on profile but found out otherwise).
So when men moan about women in here think on there are quite a few like him we have to thro to find decent guys x
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"I speak from my pov but why is this site and my experience my long experience of the swinging lifestyle full of sensitive women (or men in your case I'm sure) that take rejection however politely phrased so difficult.
For 6+ I've bitten my lip on this issue.
I'm always polite and careful when letting someone down gently and yet females on here always take it harshly or have to have the last word.
A couple not so long ago did this they wouldn't shut up no matter how many times I said it's ok I'm not interested and they then had to get all personal.
I have a limit for me its 6years it seems but today I just thought why is it like this.
I joined fab hoping to meet open minded mentally stable unbroken mature people yet it seems the vast majority ive come across are just mad.
Rant over.
What's your experiences?"
Good, don’t project. |
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