FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Ethnicity, more specifically Oriental men
Ethnicity, more specifically Oriental men
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
I used to have a fair amount of luck on a now defunct hook up website. The site placed itself as a place for people searching for something inbetween relationships and casual flings. But on here I am unable to garner even a response despite an incredible amount of carefully written messages. Is this to do with the fact that people on Fab lean more towards aesthetics? On the other site I was able to just chat and be myself but on here I feel I need to sell myself completely as a single male but the competition is just overwhelmingly against my favour.
I have posted previously asking for advice and was advised it is just a matter of patience. I am not convinced that I am right for Fab but would be interested in opinions as to whether Oriental males are just too niche as a preference? White, black, asians all have their followings but oriental males seem to be a minority within a minority. I am not saying that people are racist but simply there is no appetite for oriental guys. I learned of a fellow oriental male who had been on here for 2 years+ and still not had a meet! Thnx |
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I wouldn't worry nor put all your eggs into 1 basket.
What i mean by this is to not only rely on this site. It is 1 of many.
You and I are both men of worth and if females can't see that here it says more about the kind on such a site than it does about us.
Remember this is the cheapest site online so you'll get very many varieties here.
Keep your chin up as I do and keep plodding along bro! |
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OP there doesn't seem to be many oriental men involved in the swinging scene. I've only seen a few on fab and never seen any yet at clubs. I'm not sure that people would be prejudiced against meeting oriental men, they just don't see them around the scene.
I don't see anything particularly in your profile that may be putting people off. You've obviously given it some thought and made an effort. Your photos are good too. The only thing that may make people think twice is it seems you are looking for more than nsa sex and many don't want that.
I think the biggest problem most men on fab face is just that they are men! You are just one in a vast sea of many thousands so no matter how good your profile is it will be difficult to gain attention.
Have you considered attending an organised social? They are a great way of getting to know people in the swinging scene. It's much easier to build connections in person rather than trying to do so through messages. |
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There are many people here who legitimately have no racial preferences.
People will find you attractive or they won't, will like your messages or not, etc. We get so many messages that it's sometimes also a question of timing: if I've got a dozen prospects, a first message has to be pretty exceptional. (and that's purely subjective and determined only by me/ the person getting the message) Some women get so many messages that your message may not even be seen.
It's not your race, it's just the numbers here. |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
Thanks for replying. I understand I am a relatively new member. I am not expecting a meet already however to not get any replies is quite astounding despite carefully written responses sent to both women and couples. |
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"I used to have a fair amount of luck on a now defunct hook up website. The site placed itself as a place for people searching for something inbetween relationships and casual flings. But on here I am unable to garner even a response despite an incredible amount of carefully written messages. Is this to do with the fact that people on Fab lean more towards aesthetics? On the other site I was able to just chat and be myself but on here I feel I need to sell myself completely as a single male but the competition is just overwhelmingly against my favour.
I have posted previously asking for advice and was advised it is just a matter of patience. I am not convinced that I am right for Fab but would be interested in opinions as to whether Oriental males are just too niche as a preference? White, black, asians all have their followings but oriental males seem to be a minority within a minority. I am not saying that people are racist but simply there is no appetite for oriental guys. I learned of a fellow oriental male who had been on here for 2 years+ and still not had a meet! Thnx"
Only 2 years?! That's early days!  |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"OP there doesn't seem to be many oriental men involved in the swinging scene. I've only seen a few on fab and never seen any yet at clubs. I'm not sure that people would be prejudiced against meeting oriental men, they just don't see them around the scene.
I don't see anything particularly in your profile that may be putting people off. You've obviously given it some thought and made an effort. Your photos are good too. The only thing that may make people think twice is it seems you are looking for more than nsa sex and many don't want that.
I think the biggest problem most men on fab face is just that they are men! You are just one in a vast sea of many thousands so no matter how good your profile is it will be difficult to gain attention.
Have you considered attending an organised social? They are a great way of getting to know people in the swinging scene. It's much easier to build connections in person rather than trying to do so through messages. "
Thanks for replying. I have considered this. There is an east london post just up. It seems it is heavy on the male numbers as expected. I attended a social years ago out of curiosity. There were 3 females in attendance, all of whom were 15+ years above my age and about 20 men and I was the youngest. It was not sexy and just felt random and odd! I am sure the women felt that way too if I am honest. This was my sole social experience granted but this is my expectation of how most socials would be. Am I totally wrong? |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"I wouldn't worry nor put all your eggs into 1 basket.
What i mean by this is to not only rely on this site. It is 1 of many.
You and I are both men of worth and if females can't see that here it says more about the kind on such a site than it does about us.
Remember this is the cheapest site online so you'll get very many varieties here.
Keep your chin up as I do and keep plodding along bro!"
Cheers for replying. This is what I mean tbh. Not in a critical way necessarily but perhaps when people are just looking for pure sex people have a certain expectation and some of us don't fit into any of those categories. Whereas on a different site which is more 'relationship' driven even if it is casual, the personality counts for more perhaps? |
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"Thanks for replying. I understand I am a relatively new member. I am not expecting a meet already however to not get any replies is quite astounding despite carefully written responses sent to both women and couples. "
It just might not be what they're after. I'm afraid it's just the way it goes. |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"There are many people here who legitimately have no racial preferences.
People will find you attractive or they won't, will like your messages or not, etc. We get so many messages that it's sometimes also a question of timing: if I've got a dozen prospects, a first message has to be pretty exceptional. (and that's purely subjective and determined only by me/ the person getting the message) Some women get so many messages that your message may not even be seen.
It's not your race, it's just the numbers here. "
Again, thanks for replying. My messages do get read and/or deleted so they aren't all simply ignored. Also I have tried messaging at various times including late at night or early in the morning when site activity is lower but same result. As a former couples profile briefly, I was able to experience what sort of messages men would send on here. I think sense of humour and politeness was the only thing which was seen as a positive from us as recioients which I try to implement in my own responses. Other than that I have no idea what makes something exceptional which causes me to think it is based much more entirely on appearances which we may not like to believe. |
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"I wouldn't worry nor put all your eggs into 1 basket.
What i mean by this is to not only rely on this site. It is 1 of many.
You and I are both men of worth and if females can't see that here it says more about the kind on such a site than it does about us.
Remember this is the cheapest site online so you'll get very many varieties here.
Keep your chin up as I do and keep plodding along bro!
Cheers for replying. This is what I mean tbh. Not in a critical way necessarily but perhaps when people are just looking for pure sex people have a certain expectation and some of us don't fit into any of those categories. Whereas on a different site which is more 'relationship' driven even if it is casual, the personality counts for more perhaps?"
My take.
When it comes to sex and ethnicity, I think people divide into three broad categories.
1. People who prefer to have sex with people of the same ethnicity as them. This is the majority, as we see that most people end up in relationships with people of the same ethnicity.
2. People who fetishise certain ethnic groups. . Not as big a category as 1, but significant on here.
3. People who genuinely have no ethnic preference. This is the polite position lots will say they have, but it's actually rare in practice.
As I see it, your issue is a combination of the disproportion between men and women on here, the fact that the vast majority of women on here are white and the fact that East Asian men are not generally subject to a "positive" sexual fetishing (ie, black men are stereotyped as potent and oversexed, East Asian men as effeminate and passive - note I don't agree with these stereotypes, just pointing them out).
So, there won't be many who want you from category 1 or 2 and there aren't many people in category 3.
It socks, I know.  |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"Your post could have been written by a man of any ethnicity. Your problem isn't your ethnicity it's your gender.
"
But being male was not an issue for me in the past! It is always problematic to a degree for sure on any app or site. But blanket radio silence is not something I have had happen in the past. I am just trying to rationalise what is happening that's all rather than complaining for the sake of it. Thanks for your reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Heys OP. Glad to meet a fellow Oriental (I personally prefer Asian/Chinese) on here.
I'd say that the issue isn't about your race as much as it is about the sheer amount of competition us single males face from each other on sites such as this. Personally I found my break on Fab back in the past with attending regular parties in my area and building up a regular presence at them, and basically just going on word of mouth from there. Getting well-crafted messages read and then simply deleted is unfortunately par for the course on here. Over time I guess you just end up not taking it personally; after all that's far better than having a one-off meet that doesn't go as well as both parties hoped and then have that as a negative on your social swinging reputation!
I have come across plenty of profiles that state no Asians/Orientals, then again you get the same for other races too (no whites for BBC chasers, no blacks for BWC chasers, etc etc). On Fab here race and nationality play very much into the fantasies of swingers who want to see specific ones fulfilled, hence the exclusionary criteria on their profiles. Then again, I've had couples and single women approach me in the past precisely because I was Asian/Chinese, and they wanted to be with someone new and "exotic" (their words not mine) at least once in their lives. So I guess it works both ways!
You've been on here as a couple before. So I'm quite sure you understand how much work it takes for couples, let alone single women on here to vet and go through the multitudes of men flooding their inboxes! My suggestion is for you not to bank so much on just messaging profiles online seeking for meets, and building up connections and playtime more with actual socials or even visiting swinger clubs if that catches your fancy. Words don't say as much as looks, physical chemistry and touch. Use them to your advantage!
Good luck, hope you get your break soon enough. |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"I wouldn't worry nor put all your eggs into 1 basket.
What i mean by this is to not only rely on this site. It is 1 of many.
You and I are both men of worth and if females can't see that here it says more about the kind on such a site than it does about us.
Remember this is the cheapest site online so you'll get very many varieties here.
Keep your chin up as I do and keep plodding along bro!
Cheers for replying. This is what I mean tbh. Not in a critical way necessarily but perhaps when people are just looking for pure sex people have a certain expectation and some of us don't fit into any of those categories. Whereas on a different site which is more 'relationship' driven even if it is casual, the personality counts for more perhaps?
My take.
When it comes to sex and ethnicity, I think people divide into three broad categories.
1. People who prefer to have sex with people of the same ethnicity as them. This is the majority, as we see that most people end up in relationships with people of the same ethnicity.
2. People who fetishise certain ethnic groups. . Not as big a category as 1, but significant on here.
3. People who genuinely have no ethnic preference. This is the polite position lots will say they have, but it's actually rare in practice.
As I see it, your issue is a combination of the disproportion between men and women on here, the fact that the vast majority of women on here are white and the fact that East Asian men are not generally subject to a "positive" sexual fetishing (ie, black men are stereotyped as potent and oversexed, East Asian men as effeminate and passive - note I don't agree with these stereotypes, just pointing them out).
So, there won't be many who want you from category 1 or 2 and there aren't many people in category 3.
It socks, I know. "
Thanks! This is exactly the insight I was looking for. I have my own preferences and dislikes or prejudices so it is a 2 way street and I don't hold it against people when they have their own preferences. When it comes to simply appearances and sexual attraction, my race is an acquired taste I feel to westerners. I mean I see Caucasian men with oriental females but very rarely the other way round. Even rarer with any other races. In fact I can't even be certain I have witnessed such a couple before. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your post could have been written by a man of any ethnicity. Your problem isn't your ethnicity it's your gender.
"
I'd say it was perhaps a mix of both
Whilst oriental females are popular with caucasian males, you see far less mixed couples where the male is oriental and the female is caucasian
I don't know the reason behind this, but it's similar to seeing slim guys with bigger women. You see that mix more than you do slim women with bigger men (and by bigger I mean fat, not tall & 'built')
That's a whole new (already overdone) thread though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to have a fair amount of luck on a now defunct hook up website. The site placed itself as a place for people searching for something inbetween relationships and casual flings. But on here I am unable to garner even a response despite an incredible amount of carefully written messages. Is this to do with the fact that people on Fab lean more towards aesthetics? On the other site I was able to just chat and be myself but on here I feel I need to sell myself completely as a single male but the competition is just overwhelmingly against my favour.
I have posted previously asking for advice and was advised it is just a matter of patience. I am not convinced that I am right for Fab but would be interested in opinions as to whether Oriental males are just too niche as a preference? White, black, asians all have their followings but oriental males seem to be a minority within a minority. I am not saying that people are racist but simply there is no appetite for oriental guys. I learned of a fellow oriental male who had been on here for 2 years+ and still not had a meet! Thnx"
you could be right only you can say for sure, if it's not working it's not working, the people constantly change mind you can never say never  |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"I thought your profile is well written, your pics look good, and if I saw you in a club I'd definitely have a chat and see where it went. "
This is the closest thing I have had to an offer so far! (besides the half dozen offers for me to be wank buddies or be sucked off by middle-aged blokes) |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"Heys OP. Glad to meet a fellow Oriental (I personally prefer Asian/Chinese) on here.
I'd say that the issue isn't about your race as much as it is about the sheer amount of competition us single males face from each other on sites such as this. Personally I found my break on Fab back in the past with attending regular parties in my area and building up a regular presence at them, and basically just going on word of mouth from there. Getting well-crafted messages read and then simply deleted is unfortunately par for the course on here. Over time I guess you just end up not taking it personally; after all that's far better than having a one-off meet that doesn't go as well as both parties hoped and then have that as a negative on your social swinging reputation!
I have come across plenty of profiles that state no Asians/Orientals, then again you get the same for other races too (no whites for BBC chasers, no blacks for BWC chasers, etc etc). On Fab here race and nationality play very much into the fantasies of swingers who want to see specific ones fulfilled, hence the exclusionary criteria on their profiles. Then again, I've had couples and single women approach me in the past precisely because I was Asian/Chinese, and they wanted to be with someone new and "exotic" (their words not mine) at least once in their lives. So I guess it works both ways!
You've been on here as a couple before. So I'm quite sure you understand how much work it takes for couples, let alone single women on here to vet and go through the multitudes of men flooding their inboxes! My suggestion is for you not to bank so much on just messaging profiles online seeking for meets, and building up connections and playtime more with actual socials or even visiting swinger clubs if that catches your fancy. Words don't say as much as looks, physical chemistry and touch. Use them to your advantage!
Good luck, hope you get your break soon enough. "
I appreciate your thoughtful reply too like the many others. I have tried a club as a couple and we just didn't feel it was our environment. My partner was only 23-4 at the time and even though I was over 10 years older, even I felt young there. Maybe another club would offer a different experience but I feel that being online, expressing myself is where I am able to display my strong points best but clearly not! Nice to know that you have had some luck as a Chinese though. I know that SOME females do find me attractive as a Chinese person as I have had flings and relationships before but wondering if the swinging scene is a different landscape and I don't really have the right criteria to really flourish. |
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"On the plus side, you look good for 38 mate
Asian genes mate. Sometimes it is a positive, sometimes a curse! Lol."
I just did a double check at your profile. Looked first time and saw well written text and nice photos of a good looking man. Wasn’t till I saw the post saying your age that I had to go back and check, I completely overlooked that bit.
I’ve not been interested in single men since meeting hubby, but if I’d met you in a club as a single lady I would most definitely have tried to get to chat with you. |
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It can be seriously hard work for single males on here.
My advice would be visit a club or a social even if you only chat to people someone will be willing to verify you. With my last profile that helped me a lot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I used to have a fair amount of luck on a now defunct hook up website. The site placed itself as a place for people searching for something inbetween relationships and casual flings. But on here I am unable to garner even a response despite an incredible amount of carefully written messages. Is this to do with the fact that people on Fab lean more towards aesthetics? On the other site I was able to just chat and be myself but on here I feel I need to sell myself completely as a single male but the competition is just overwhelmingly against my favour.
I have posted previously asking for advice and was advised it is just a matter of patience. I am not convinced that I am right for Fab but would be interested in opinions as to whether Oriental males are just too niche as a preference? White, black, asians all have their followings but oriental males seem to be a minority within a minority. I am not saying that people are racist but simply there is no appetite for oriental guys. I learned of a fellow oriental male who had been on here for 2 years+ and still not had a meet! Thnx"
I think you might find it quite hard here as it just isn't something many women I know talk about, however at clubs would be very different. I know a Hong Kong Chinese guy who guys to Chameleons and Libertys and does VERY well for himself
I would just go to clubs, chat and present yourself well and I'm sure you will end up having a lot of fun. |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"I used to have a fair amount of luck on a now defunct hook up website. The site placed itself as a place for people searching for something inbetween relationships and casual flings. But on here I am unable to garner even a response despite an incredible amount of carefully written messages. Is this to do with the fact that people on Fab lean more towards aesthetics? On the other site I was able to just chat and be myself but on here I feel I need to sell myself completely as a single male but the competition is just overwhelmingly against my favour.
I have posted previously asking for advice and was advised it is just a matter of patience. I am not convinced that I am right for Fab but would be interested in opinions as to whether Oriental males are just too niche as a preference? White, black, asians all have their followings but oriental males seem to be a minority within a minority. I am not saying that people are racist but simply there is no appetite for oriental guys. I learned of a fellow oriental male who had been on here for 2 years+ and still not had a meet! Thnx
I think you might find it quite hard here as it just isn't something many women I know talk about, however at clubs would be very different. I know a Hong Kong Chinese guy who guys to Chameleons and Libertys and does VERY well for himself
I would just go to clubs, chat and present yourself well and I'm sure you will end up having a lot of fun."
Thank you for your replies everybody. I think this is only ONE part of the problem also. We have not even taken into consideration that I need to find some attraction to any responses that I may get also. But getting any response of any nature would be a prerequisite for that before I get carried away. In my mind I don't really think I have the mindset/patience/mental fortitude to endure this search. As some have suggested, I may just try to use the rest of my time on here engaging in the forums and will just see what happens from now until the end of my site supporter period this year with diminished expectations. Appreciate all of your input. |
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By *m389Man
over a year ago
Bromley |
I think it’s particularly hard for us Asian men in general in western society. There are many people women who don’t mind race but that is the not the point, in aggregate Asian men are among the least desired.
In fact you tend to find Asian females also by late prefer to be with white males. Nothing wrong with that, they’re in a white society after all but the subliminal message this is sending is that Asian men are inferior. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes aesthetic to play a role in this but that doesn't mean you won't get a meet as what everyone finds attractive is different.
But as swinger's our self's we would only ay with someone we found attractive not just anyone and that's the case for all swinger's we know personally.
But clubs and socials would be a good idea as with such a new account it can put people off this would let you meet others and possible get verified as well.
P.s. remember that the person you have messaged probably had loads of messages the same day of other guys.
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as an oriental guy myself, I've certainly had better luck in a club and social environment.
people naturally want to meet the person they are potentially fucking.
when it comes to fab, it really is the luck of the draw even if you are a good looking guy, such as yourself. people will more than likely weigh up their options.
I've certainly been passed over or rejected in the club scene, but that definitely makes the wins so much sweeter.
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"as an oriental guy myself, I've certainly had better luck in a club and social environment.
people naturally want to meet the person they are potentially fucking.
when it comes to fab, it really is the luck of the draw even if you are a good looking guy, such as yourself. people will more than likely weigh up their options.
I've certainly been passed over or rejected in the club scene, but that definitely makes the wins so much sweeter.
"
To me it is like being the Orange Creme in a chocolate selection box. People do eat them when all the good ones are gone. But if there is a plentiful supply of Hazlenut Swirls or Salted Caramels, nobody will wanna eat the Vanilla Nougat first let alone the Orange Creme. You may come across an Orange Creme fan if you wait long enough and haven't turned mouldy, but then you might not fancy the Orange Creme eater automatically and so the wait continues.
In my experience I always simply throw the Orange and Coffee and liquer ones straight into the bin! Can't even give those fuckers away I swear! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"as an oriental guy myself, I've certainly had better luck in a club and social environment.
people naturally want to meet the person they are potentially fucking.
when it comes to fab, it really is the luck of the draw even if you are a good looking guy, such as yourself. people will more than likely weigh up their options.
I've certainly been passed over or rejected in the club scene, but that definitely makes the wins so much sweeter.
To me it is like being the Orange Creme in a chocolate selection box. People do eat them when all the good ones are gone. But if there is a plentiful supply of Hazlenut Swirls or Salted Caramels, nobody will wanna eat the Vanilla Nougat first let alone the Orange Creme. You may come across an Orange Creme fan if you wait long enough and haven't turned mouldy, but then you might not fancy the Orange Creme eater automatically and so the wait continues.
In my experience I always simply throw the Orange and Coffee and liquer ones straight into the bin! Can't even give those fuckers away I swear! "
But then orange cremes are my favourite, but only female orange creams, lol. |
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"There are many people here who legitimately have no racial preferences.
People will find you attractive or they won't, will like your messages or not, etc. We get so many messages that it's sometimes also a question of timing: if I've got a dozen prospects, a first message has to be pretty exceptional. (and that's purely subjective and determined only by me/ the person getting the message) Some women get so many messages that your message may not even be seen.
It's not your race, it's just the numbers here.
Again, thanks for replying. My messages do get read and/or deleted so they aren't all simply ignored. Also I have tried messaging at various times including late at night or early in the morning when site activity is lower but same result. As a former couples profile briefly, I was able to experience what sort of messages men would send on here. I think sense of humour and politeness was the only thing which was seen as a positive from us as recioients which I try to implement in my own responses. Other than that I have no idea what makes something exceptional which causes me to think it is based much more entirely on appearances which we may not like to believe. "
I am indian asian, lots of my well written messages go unread or deleted or read not replied or read and blocked. I soon realised that single females and couples get hundreds of messages daily, so they tend to be very very picky. So i don't take it personal. I been on fab for about four months, had seven meets, they all been genuine Swingers. You just have to be patient and positive, you will get blocked for no apparent reason, its all being part of fab. I am sure you will start meeting people soon. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"OP there doesn't seem to be many oriental men involved in the swinging scene. I've only seen a few on fab and never seen any yet at clubs. I'm not sure that people would be prejudiced against meeting oriental men, they just don't see them around the scene.
I don't see anything particularly in your profile that may be putting people off. You've obviously given it some thought and made an effort. Your photos are good too. The only thing that may make people think twice is it seems you are looking for more than nsa sex and many don't want that.
I think the biggest problem most men on fab face is just that they are men! You are just one in a vast sea of many thousands so no matter how good your profile is it will be difficult to gain attention.
Have you considered attending an organised social? They are a great way of getting to know people in the swinging scene. It's much easier to build connections in person rather than trying to do so through messages.
Thanks for replying. I have considered this. There is an east london post just up. It seems it is heavy on the male numbers as expected. I attended a social years ago out of curiosity. There were 3 females in attendance, all of whom were 15+ years above my age and about 20 men and I was the youngest. It was not sexy and just felt random and odd! I am sure the women felt that way too if I am honest. This was my sole social experience granted but this is my expectation of how most socials would be. Am I totally wrong? "
Op I have been to many socials up and down the country, some I have enjoyed and some I have felt totally uncomfortable with as the couples were distinctly suspicious of a single female as if I was going to steal their man, all social gatherings are different, so you can't judge them by just attending one so don't give up on them! |
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By *.D.I.D.A.S OP Man
over a year ago
London/Essex... ish... Romford to be exact |
"OP there doesn't seem to be many oriental men involved in the swinging scene. I've only seen a few on fab and never seen any yet at clubs. I'm not sure that people would be prejudiced against meeting oriental men, they just don't see them around the scene.
I don't see anything particularly in your profile that may be putting people off. You've obviously given it some thought and made an effort. Your photos are good too. The only thing that may make people think twice is it seems you are looking for more than nsa sex and many don't want that.
I think the biggest problem most men on fab face is just that they are men! You are just one in a vast sea of many thousands so no matter how good your profile is it will be difficult to gain attention.
Have you considered attending an organised social? They are a great way of getting to know people in the swinging scene. It's much easier to build connections in person rather than trying to do so through messages.
Thanks for replying. I have considered this. There is an east london post just up. It seems it is heavy on the male numbers as expected. I attended a social years ago out of curiosity. There were 3 females in attendance, all of whom were 15+ years above my age and about 20 men and I was the youngest. It was not sexy and just felt random and odd! I am sure the women felt that way too if I am honest. This was my sole social experience granted but this is my expectation of how most socials would be. Am I totally wrong?
Op I have been to many socials up and down the country, some I have enjoyed and some I have felt totally uncomfortable with as the couples were distinctly suspicious of a single female as if I was going to steal their man, all social gatherings are different, so you can't judge them by just attending one so don't give up on them!"
Thanks for the encouragement. Though I remain unconvinced. A female turning up is still going to have more choice than if a man turns up. I'm not closing the door on the idea merely remaining sceptical! I am a moaner I know lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with the comments about it being a numbers game. Your profile is really good and I don’t think there is anything that would dissuade me from responding if I was local to you. Keep plugging away and it happen xx |
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"I wouldn't worry nor put all your eggs into 1 basket.
What i mean by this is to not only rely on this site. It is 1 of many.
You and I are both men of worth and if females can't see that here it says more about the kind on such a site than it does about us.
Remember this is the cheapest site online so you'll get very many varieties here.
Keep your chin up as I do and keep plodding along bro!"
How would the ‘females know you are men of worth’? You’re coming over as a touch entitled. |
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By *uggs71Man
over a year ago
london |
"OP there doesn't seem to be many oriental men involved in the swinging scene. I've only seen a few on fab and never seen any yet at clubs. I'm not sure that people would be prejudiced against meeting oriental men, they just don't see them around the scene.
I don't see anything particularly in your profile that may be putting people off. You've obviously given it some thought and made an effort. Your photos are good too. The only thing that may make people think twice is it seems you are looking for more than nsa sex and many don't want that.
I think the biggest problem most men on fab face is just that they are men! You are just one in a vast sea of many thousands so no matter how good your profile is it will be difficult to gain attention.
Have you considered attending an organised social? They are a great way of getting to know people in the swinging scene. It's much easier to build connections in person rather than trying to do so through messages. "
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By *uggs71Man
over a year ago
london |
"OP there doesn't seem to be many oriental men involved in the swinging scene. I've only seen a few on fab and never seen any yet at clubs. I'm not sure that people would be prejudiced against meeting oriental men, they just don't see them around the scene.
I don't see anything particularly in your profile that may be putting people off. You've obviously given it some thought and made an effort. Your photos are good too. The only thing that may make people think twice is it seems you are looking for more than nsa sex and many don't want that.
I think the biggest problem most men on fab face is just that they are men! You are just one in a vast sea of many thousands so no matter how good your profile is it will be difficult to gain attention.
Have you considered attending an organised social? They are a great way of getting to know people in the swinging scene. It's much easier to build connections in person rather than trying to do so through messages. "
A good thoughtful response. |
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