FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here?
Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here?
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"I think of it more in terms of "does the site meet my expectations" than "success" as "success" to me implies that it's about having got what YOU want more than anything. " Good call. I do start threads about things that I want answers to but I try to generalise so others can get benefit from. | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Being able to read and write helps. Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" | |||
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"Just be yourself " That's why most men on here can't get meets.. | |||
"As you get older, the number of people who find you attractive will diminish. That's a fact you can do anything about. Nevertheless and despite this, it is possible for us old farts to get action. My top tips would be. 1. Be in reasonable shape: it's also a fact of life that as you get older, you naturally get a bit pudgy. To have any chance on here to have to fight that. The reality is if you are over fifty and significantly overweight, your chances are minimal. 2. Be able to talk to women like they are human beings. Yes, I know we're all here for fucking, but it's a serious turn off for most women if men treat them like some kind of sex doll. Be able and willing to chat about non sex stuff. 3. Don't be like someone whos on the sex offenders register. Which means don't send unsolicited cock pics and don't launch into filthy talk unless you have a pretty strong indication a woman wants it. 4. Don't come across as pathetic or desperate. Women find that incredibly unattractive. Saying how unfair it is no one wants to fuck you will guarantee no one will. My personal view is that the men who have no success on here are ones who are unable to treat women as people and essentially view them as some kind of machine that enables you to get your jollies. Dont be like that... " 
I agree with all the above. Be courteous, as honest as you can be and read the profile of the person(s) you are corresponding with. If you are meeting or talking to a MF couple don't forget the M half.. | |||
"Just be yourself " That's possibly the worst advice | |||
"Just be yourself That's possibly the worst advice" ... and don't I just know it. OP: read Mr Perfect's profile and veris above! And FFS don't take any notice of mine | |||
"As you get older, the number of people who find you attractive will diminish. That's a fact you can do anything about. Nevertheless and despite this, it is possible for us old farts to get action. My top tips would be. 1. Be in reasonable shape: it's also a fact of life that as you get older, you naturally get a bit pudgy. To have any chance on here to have to fight that. The reality is if you are over fifty and significantly overweight, your chances are minimal. 2. Be able to talk to women like they are human beings. Yes, I know we're all here for fucking, but it's a serious turn off for most women if men treat them like some kind of sex doll. Be able and willing to chat about non sex stuff. 3. Don't be like someone whos on the sex offenders register. Which means don't send unsolicited cock pics and don't launch into filthy talk unless you have a pretty strong indication a woman wants it. 4. Don't come across as pathetic or desperate. Women find that incredibly unattractive. Saying how unfair it is no one wants to fuck you will guarantee no one will. My personal view is that the men who have no success on here are ones who are unable to treat women as people and essentially view them as some kind of machine that enables you to get your jollies. Dont be like that... " Number 4 - completely! | |||
"Just be yourself That's possibly the worst advice" Works for me, besides, I don’t want to meet someone who’s looking for something I’m not. I approach people the same way I would out in a pub. So if we’re a good match that’s great, if not, no hard feelings. | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" I’ve been here since January and I don’t think I’ve succeeded or failed for that matter ...I’ve met some lovely people, chatted to some lovely people. You should just be yourself...then you don’t have to pretend. Make yourself as good as you can do. If you feel good, then you’ll portray that in your profile, pics, messages... X | |||
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"As you get older, the number of people who find you attractive will diminish. That's a fact you can do anything about. " How have you established this 'fact'? | |||
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"I think of it more in terms of "does the site meet my expectations" than "success" as "success" to me implies that it's about having got what YOU want more than anything. So coming at it from my perspective, yes it meets my expectations and I enjoy my time on the site - have met some lovely people and had some great mutually rewarding experiences. Those have come about because my expectations are, I think, set correctly as is my approach - I've a decent profile and pictures in my opinion, am not pushy, not desperate for a meet and like to take my time to establish a connection and chemistry with people before even considering suggesting meeting them. I get involved in the forums and make the effort to attend organised socials when I can and in general view Fab as an add on to my life rather than being my while life (despite the amount of time I spend on here!! )"Very, very true. The vast majority of the men I know and meet on the scene are in their 40’s and 50’s and are just like you G. We will get that social sorted! | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" Are you going to transfer the responses to spreadsheet? I’ve a thing for spreadsheets | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success? Are you going to transfer the responses to spreadsheet? I’ve a thing for spreadsheets "Bear with me then. | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" Socials, socials and more socials. Invite everyone and accept all invitations that come your way. Happy fabbing | |||
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" Met people through clubs? Yes, nearly always ." Can I ask about your success in the club scene? Do you stick to just one place in particular, to get yourself known, or target specific events, which are more likely to be single guy friendly? Asking for a friend who struggles in clubs  | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" I do ok I'm fit, not bad looking so I'm told and have a personality, the secret here Patients is the quay  | |||
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"I’m very patient and pleasant to all ladies and couples but hardly ever get even a reply. Perhaps they like men who treat them like **** " I hazard s guess it's your profile pic | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? I don't complain about the number of meets in here. Ability to accommodate? Yes, shows you are not married. Kept yourself fit? No, propper dadbod Are you attractive? Wouldn't say so but attitude seems to be important. Met people through clubs? Yes, nearly always Or just been here a while? On and off for about 3 years Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success No secret, just a good attitude and staying active. Meet for socials, use social media like the kicking one which has plenty of rooms. Be prepared to be nocked back. Stay positive and never expect more than is reasonable." I’m not married and cannot accommodate as my children live with me. It’s not always black and white | |||
"I’m very patient and pleasant to all ladies and couples but hardly ever get even a reply. Perhaps they like men who treat them like **** I hazard s guess it's your profile pic " | |||
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"I’m very patient and pleasant to all ladies and couples but hardly ever get even a reply. Perhaps they like men who treat them like **** " The logical explanation for your lack of replies is that your messages must be ****. | |||
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most of my veris are from socials but not all - met some lovely people from here | |||
"I’m very patient and pleasant to all ladies and couples but hardly ever get even a reply. Perhaps they like men who treat them like **** " Actually we don't like men who treat us like ****. Most of us will look at a profile first before deciding to message back. Fabs faq section states no response means no interest and that it is considered rude. | |||
"I’m very patient and pleasant to all ladies and couples but hardly ever get even a reply. Perhaps they like men who treat them like **** Actually we don't like men who treat us like ****. Most of us will look at a profile first before deciding to message back. Fabs faq section states no response means no interest and that it is considered rude. " that no response is considered rude | |||
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"It’s difficult to say. I’m over 45, married, bisexual, can’t accommodate. I do ok on here. I attract some people and disgust others. " Im same age and married and im having trouble just getting any messages back, im always polite etc, it seems a bit of a mystery...maybe ive got a face like a box of frogs ?? | |||
"Not doing ok at all, 3 years and not one meet. Cant get verfied untill a meet but most wont meet coz im not verified. The old catch 22" I'll be absolutely honest and say that this is a great example of a single guy on here looking to blame anything and everything for a lack of meets when they should perhaps look a little closer to home. There are plenty of things within our own control on here, rather than looking for things outside your control to blame, why not look at the things you can control and change them? For example: Is your profile interesting and appealing, and invites the reader to find out more? If not, change it so it does!! Do your pics show you in the best light or are they just close ups of your cock? If they don't and they are - take some new ones! Do you go to organised socials and clubs? If not give them a try!! Are you active in the forums contributing to many and varied threads on a variety of subjects, which is a great way to get to know people and get yourself known? If not, you know what to do. Are your expectations of a meet set too high? If so lower them!! These and many other things are ALL within your control, so if you're not getting enjoyment from the site, try doing something about them, it won't guarantee anything, but it'll certainly improve your chances and will surely be better than blaming things you can't control!! | |||
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"Luck... location... laidback attitude... non pushy... open and an 'it's all about them and not me attitude'. I've also been lucky enough to be recommended by others or have recieved verifications from people they know" This. And its how I met Miss. | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" Husband is over 40, closer to 50 and he does just fine. He doesn't have a single guy profile on fab, but attends clubs with and without me and meets people, socialises etc. I think he gets 'more' than most because he's old school in his approach and attitude. Too many profiles on here that want to 'fill you with jizz', or 'want to fist a pussy till it cums'. Profiles with spunking cocks next to a sky remote indicating a total lack of etiquette and is very uncouth. Single guys wanting to fuck on here rather than pay for a whore, totally not what swinging is about. | |||
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"As you get older, the number of people who find you attractive will diminish. That's a fact you can do anything about. Nevertheless and despite this, it is possible for us old farts to get action. My top tips would be. 1. Be in reasonable shape: it's also a fact of life that as you get older, you naturally get a bit pudgy. To have any chance on here to have to fight that. The reality is if you are over fifty and significantly overweight, your chances are minimal. 2. Be able to talk to women like they are human beings. Yes, I know we're all here for fucking, but it's a serious turn off for most women if men treat them like some kind of sex doll. Be able and willing to chat about non sex stuff. 3. Don't be like someone whos on the sex offenders register. Which means don't send unsolicited cock pics and don't launch into filthy talk unless you have a pretty strong indication a woman wants it. 4. Don't come across as pathetic or desperate. Women find that incredibly unattractive. Saying how unfair it is no one wants to fuck you will guarantee no one will. My personal view is that the men who have no success on here are ones who are unable to treat women as people and essentially view them as some kind of machine that enables you to get your jollies. Dont be like that... Number 4 - completely!" All of these plus pictures, men are communicating to women through pictures and a few lines of text what it is going to be like with them.... before we start to talk, they have got to entice | |||
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"MRS TRELLIS’S TEN TOP TIPS FOR FAB SUCCESS FOR MEN: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do ALL of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Lots of men are not gym fit but have lovely pics. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for if you haven’t already: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Good luck. " Awesome! Thanks for taking the time to do this | |||
"MRS TRELLIS’S TEN TOP TIPS FOR FAB SUCCESS FOR MEN: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do ALL of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Lots of men are not gym fit but have lovely pics. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for if you haven’t already: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Good luck. " oh my a fountain of knowledge you must have been here years | |||
"oh my a fountain of knowledge you must have been here years " Ha ha. I’ve been on a year but get a fair few messages. I started to mentally note the behaviours of the men who do well and I thought I’d gather it in one place, for what it’s worth. | |||
"oh my a fountain of knowledge you must have been here years Ha ha. I’ve been on a year but get a fair few messages. I started to mentally note the behaviours of the men who do well and I thought I’d gather it in one place, for what it’s worth. " just one year damn quick learner | |||
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"oh my a fountain of knowledge you must have been here years Ha ha. I’ve been on a year but get a fair few messages. I started to mentally note the behaviours of the men who do well and I thought I’d gather it in one place, for what it’s worth. " And we are grateful for it. I agree that overthinking can happen and as I started the thread and similar ones, then I'm guilty of that. But for every man who comes here and asks "what's wrong with my profile" it would be easier to direct them to these threads. | |||
"oh my a fountain of knowledge you must have been here years Ha ha. I’ve been on a year but get a fair few messages. I started to mentally note the behaviours of the men who do well and I thought I’d gather it in one place, for what it’s worth. " It's an extremely good list, to be rightly lauded, and one to place alongside the equally good one that MsGivesWood has on her profile - to be honest most of it is common sense, but sadly as the forums and messages regularly show that seems to be the first thing a lot of people leave at the door when signing up!! | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? Yes What do you think is reasin for your success? Know who/type I want to meet and being very choosy and ONLY meet those interested in repeat meets Ability to accommodate? No Kept yourself fit? Yes but never go to a gym, just boring. Are you attractive? I'm told I am, so I guess so. This is rather subjective though. Met people through clubs? Nope. Two bad experiences so never going back and not needed too for meets either. Or just been here a while? On and off over 3 yrs. Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success? Attitude and expectations. " | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" The worse you look you will get more veris very few decent women on site its easier on Pof and more choice. | |||
(That's internet inches) | |||
"The worse you look you will get more veris very few decent women on site its easier on Pof and more choice."  | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?The worse you look you will get more veris very few decent women on site its easier on Pof and more choice." Yes, it's obviously the women's fault | |||
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"MRS TRELLIS’S TEN TOP TIPS FOR FAB SUCCESS FOR MEN: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do ALL of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Lots of men are not gym fit but have lovely pics. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for if you haven’t already: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Good luck. " While I agree with the points ... I've always thought ...if anyone can't produce a profile that encompasses those points or message in a way that interests those folk .... spoon feeding them a blue print is likely to make things harder for folk to differentiate between those that can and have done so themselves and those that have to be led to the proverbial or copied someone else's ways... | |||
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" While I agree with the points ... I've always thought ...if anyone can't produce a profile that encompasses those points or message in a way that interests those folk .... spoon feeding them a blue print is likely to make things harder for folk to differentiate between those that can and have done so themselves and those that have to be led to the proverbial or copied someone else's ways... " I agree to a degree, and as I said further up, most of what Mrs Trellis has suggested is stuff that I would suggest is common sense - however there are some who come on here who genuinely do struggle to know how to approach the site and I don't think there's anything wrong with providing a little advice, guidance and education. However while providing generic advice is one thing - it still takes someone to interpret that advice and put it into their own words and actions so if they really are lacking or have the wrong attitude it will still shine through | |||
" While I agree with the points ... I've always thought ...if anyone can't produce a profile that encompasses those points or message in a way that interests those folk .... spoon feeding them a blue print is likely to make things harder for folk to differentiate between those that can and have done so themselves and those that have to be led to the proverbial or copied someone else's ways... I agree to a degree, and as I said further up, most of what Mrs Trellis has suggested is stuff that I would suggest is common sense - however there are some who come on here who genuinely do struggle to know how to approach the site and I don't think there's anything wrong with providing a little advice, guidance and education. However while providing generic advice is one thing - it still takes someone to interpret that advice and put it into their own words and actions so if they really are lacking or have the wrong attitude it will still shine through "Generic is one thing giving folk a description of a fantasy is likely gonna be copied and pasted .. My advice to folk of any age any gender if fab isn't providing you with the fun or other aspects you're looking for..look closer to home and not at what either the site or others are doing for your failures .. how you fix it is up to you. | |||
" While I agree with the points ... I've always thought ...if anyone can't produce a profile that encompasses those points or message in a way that interests those folk .... spoon feeding them a blue print is likely to make things harder for folk to differentiate between those that can and have done so themselves and those that have to be led to the proverbial or copied someone else's ways... I agree to a degree, and as I said further up, most of what Mrs Trellis has suggested is stuff that I would suggest is common sense - however there are some who come on here who genuinely do struggle to know how to approach the site and I don't think there's anything wrong with providing a little advice, guidance and education. However while providing generic advice is one thing - it still takes someone to interpret that advice and put it into their own words and actions so if they really are lacking or have the wrong attitude it will still shine through
Generic is one thing giving folk a description of a fantasy is likely gonna be copied and pasted ..
My advice to folk of any age any gender if fab isn't providing you with the fun or other aspects you're looking for..look closer to home and not at what either the site or others are doing for your failures .. how you fix it is up to you. "We're on the same page albeit slightly different paragraphs 
See my earlier posts in the thread | |||
"MRS TRELLIS’S TEN TOP TIPS FOR FAB SUCCESS FOR MEN: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do ALL of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Lots of men are not gym fit but have lovely pics. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for if you haven’t already: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Good luck. " Never, never, ever, follow point 8 | |||
"MRS TRELLIS’S TEN TOP TIPS FOR FAB SUCCESS FOR MEN: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do ALL of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Lots of men are not gym fit but have lovely pics. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for if you haven’t already: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Good luck. Never, never, ever, follow point 8 "No offence to MRs T ! These points are a bit OTT though ? They are more lke what you need to do on plenty of fish or dating site etc ? I am not sure if anyone ls wanting deep meanngful stuff . Of course whatever ‘ works’ you should use . However, not the way I liketo do things . Good luck though | |||
"MRS TRELLIS’S TEN TOP TIPS FOR FAB SUCCESS FOR MEN: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do ALL of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Lots of men are not gym fit but have lovely pics. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. H f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for if you haven’t already: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Good luck. Never, never, ever, follow point 8
No offence to MRs T ! These points are a bit OTT though ? They are more lke what you need to do on plenty of fish or dating site etc ? I am not sure if anyone ls wanting deep meanngful stuff .
Of course whatever ‘ works’ you should use . However, not the way I liketo do things .
Good luck though "I think this points are relevant for you personally . Verified does not mean nothing to me, verified guys let you down too! sayIf they are involved in the forum or not is not important to me . Profile is important to me but not speaking about their favorite place in the world ! If a person can't accommodate to me does not suggests they are married. Sometimes they are sharing or caring or have young children at home .not everyone want strangers in their home , I don't ! Status does not get a meeting for me ! I don't even notice them ! How guys will know who is doing well ? Because I could not care ,how other people are doing in here ! Top tips not for me !!! | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" I know a guy on here who is 51. He would happily admit he is not a good looking guy. However he has bags of personality and is very funny. He does quite well on here. | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success? Are you going to transfer the responses to spreadsheet? I’ve a thing for spreadsheets "I can create a magic spreadsheet structure Could meet and share if your interested Alex x | |||
"MRS TRELLIS’S TEN TOP TIPS FOR FAB SUCCESS FOR MEN: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do ALL of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well. 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Lots of men are not gym fit but have lovely pics. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for if you haven’t already: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Good luck. " Sound advise Than you for taking the time to detail it out Nice to see that help and advise is around There are always gems out there but they sometimes don’t sparkle Alex x | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" I am not male, but thought I would give you my opinion. I think that just using fab to meet people it such hard work. Even as a couple it's a nightmare. There are far too many fakes and dreamers. So my advice is go to clubs. Its the best way of meeting people. You don't have to a ribbed Adonis or hung like a donkey. You just need to be able to talk to people and have a bit of banter. I know loads of single guys who do incredible well in clubs. Because they are amusing and funny and know how to just strike up a conversation with people and if they are talking to a couple they talk equally to both people. Mrs B | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success? I am not male, but thought I would give you my opinion. I think that just using fab to meet people it such hard work. Even as a couple it's a nightmare. There are far too many fakes and dreamers. So my advice is go to clubs. Its the best way of meeting people. You don't have to a ribbed Adonis or hung like a donkey. You just need to be able to talk to people and have a bit of banter. I know loads of single guys who do incredible well in clubs. Because they are amusing and funny and know how to just strike up a conversation with people and if they are talking to a couple they talk equally to both people. Mrs B" so youre advocating spur of moment meets for sex or are you suggesting older guys can afford to pay £40 odd a time just to find out they will or will not be acceptable? | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" I'm 42 and doing very well here. Became active October last year and never looked back! I put a lot of effort into my profile and the way I engage with people. The rest then follows naturally. Can't accommodate at the moment but will certainly travel for the right people. Physical fitness always! I'm told i'm rather handsome
Have met lovely people in clubs but more through organised socials.
In short, I love the whole experience! | |||
"Going to a club is not guaranteed sex for anyone!!! If you want guaranteed sex go vist a prostitute. I am saying to anyone regardless of age the best way to meet is in person at clubs. If you don't like how much clubs cost then don't go. " Or chat, be respectful, humorous, use your intelligence (see what I did there), and gain her trust and with all that a connection happens. Something that's actually looked for by 750% on here the other 35% its about themselves and what they will get out of it. Whats free...Your time and interest. Not saying either is wrong just an observation. | |||
Be a gentleman with a little wit and a oh so naughty twinkle in the eyes. | |||
"MRS TRELLIS’S TEN TOP TIPS FOR FAB SUCCESS FOR MEN: Ok - here goes – ten steps to success! There are so many men on Fab that you need to be better than about 80% of them. Do ALL of these steps over six months and you’ll be doing well 1. Verification - Get verified and display those veris. Cam verified is a start before you’ve met anyone. This will make you seem more trust-worthy and will mean your profile is visible to people who have blocked unverified men. Women are constantly managing the risk of meeting internet strangers so veris help us to assess whether you’re likely to be safe or not. 2. Pictures – it’s NOT about being gym fit. Lots of men are not gym fit but have lovely pics. Black and white and arty. Avoid cock pics. A smiling face pic is great if you’re able to be that open. 3. Forum - a bit of a presence in the forum will put your profile “out there” (be only ever positive, chatty, literate and kind). But forum women (the really pretty ones who post a lot) get MASSIVE amounts of mail so don’t be disheartened if they aren’t interested. Lots of other women read the forum without posting. Never EVER moan or be critical. You search for a person’s posts using this link (replacing my username with theirs and using underscores for spaces): https://m.fabswingers.com/forum-poster/_rstrellis 4. Your profile – a. You need a detailed but not too long profile. b. Start with something unpushy. “Fancy a cuppa? Pull up a chair!” “Fancy seeing you here!” c. Spelling and grammar really, really matter (apostrophes in the right places, discreet/discrete, their/there/they’re, you’re/your have different meanings so pick the one you mean. d. Have something to hang a conversation on. “My favourite place in the world is x” or “I love Game of Thrones and Countdown”. “If I could be anyone it would be Kermit the Frog”. Anything. e. Weave a fantasy: “I like hard, passionate sex, pulling at each other’s clothes and kissing to the floor. Sex that leaves us both panting, with a wild look in our eyes” or “I love sensual touching, stroking and massage. I love to see goose pimples appear as my fingers flow over you”. They’re really different in tone but it helps the reader understand you. 5. Get out there – go to Fab socials and to clubs. Be chatty, smiley and don’t cling to anyone. Make yourself go six times before you give up. Always smiling, always chatty. Make contacts, get more veris. 6. When you’re messaging – a. for couples, talk to both in every message. b. for women, never mention sex before she does. If she mentions sex or meeting then changes the subject, wait until she brings it up again. c. aim to be a friend. That’s the tone. Sprinkle lightly with flirting. d. keep messages short and chatty. End on a question every time. e. consider a gimmick to allow regular contact. One guy brings me “tea” each morning. It’s means we chat every day. f. don’t pull women up on being slow to respond or for disappearing. It can be a full time job to deal with messages so some get a bit “direct” or overwhelmed. If she’s talking to you at all, she probably likes you, so don’t mess it up by getting grumpy with her. 7. Understand how the “updates” tab works a. you’re in the local updates for your area. If you travel somewhere else, change your postcode in the “my details” tab on your profile. Then you’ll appear in that area. b. use your status update every day. Something chatty, funny, always positive. Never ever “why don’t women reply”. The reason for doing it is that it puts you onto people’s local updates, and, if relevant, onto their friend updates and hotlist updates too. “I’m going to the ice cream van. Who fancies a 99?” or whatever. c. Don’t be afraid to put up a meet if you have your place to yourself. List the meet and mention it in your status. “Free for coffee and cake and a chinwag tomorrow”. 8. Learn from guys who are doing well. Consider “hotlisting” some successful men to watch how they manage their profiles. It’ll drop them into your “updates” section so you can see what they’re doing. Hotlisting is private so they won’t know they’re hotlisted but you’ll see how they do status updates and things. 9. Some people are nuts. Prepare yourself for the odd one to turn bunny-boiler on you. It’s usually rooted in vulnerability but played out as aggression or passive aggression. Try to respond with kindness but don’t let anyone take the piss. Kindly distance yourself. 10. Final bits: a. “Cannot accommodate” suggests you’re married and playing away without permission. Explain why you can’t accommodate if it’s a different reason. b. Narrow the age range you’re looking for if you haven’t already: 18-99 is too broad. c. In your profile title, don’t have anything crude or grumpy. “Happy, chatty, smiley, funny cheeky chappy”. Or something. Nothing about sex. Good luck. " Brilliant advice, thank you. I already use some of these. We don't have many clubs here in Ireland, so most interaction is online to begin with. I have a very unusual offering so I get some enquiries, which often lead to meets, and then to massage. I rarely contact a woman or couple, preferring to chat on the forum. Anyway, I can only handle one or two meets a month, so I'm realistic and happy with Fab. I'm in my 50's, keep fit, don't drink alcohol at a social,don't smoke, I'm confident, and present well, oh and being Irish, have a way with words and love to chat. It works for me. | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" Mate the site is shite being honest and its down to luck only.Better fun on pof and they after the reall thing to many dreamers on here . | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here?" Then come fuck me | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?Mate the site is shite being honest and its down to luck only.Better fun on pof and they after the reall thing to many dreamers on here ." Fab is as good as you make it | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? Then come fuck me "42 and on my way | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? Then come fuck me
42 and on my way"Fuck yes | |||
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"As you get older, the number of people who find you attractive will diminish. That's a fact you can do anything about. Nevertheless and despite this, it is possible for us old farts to get action. My top tips would be. 1. Be in reasonable shape: it's also a fact of life that as you get older, you naturally get a bit pudgy. To have any chance on here to have to fight that. The reality is if you are over fifty and significantly overweight, your chances are minimal. 2. Be able to talk to women like they are human beings. Yes, I know we're all here for fucking, but it's a serious turn off for most women if men treat them like some kind of sex doll. Be able and willing to chat about non sex stuff. 3. Don't be like someone whos on the sex offenders register. Which means don't send unsolicited cock pics and don't launch into filthy talk unless you have a pretty strong indication a woman wants it. 4. Don't come across as pathetic or desperate. Women find that incredibly unattractive. Saying how unfair it is no one wants to fuck you will guarantee no one will. My personal view is that the men who have no success on here are ones who are unable to treat women as people and essentially view them as some kind of machine that enables you to get your jollies. Dont be like that... " If this is male half's vision, you're now on my hotlist!! Spot on x | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?Mate the site is shite being honest and its down to luck only.Better fun on pof and they after the reall thing to many dreamers on here ." Still here though | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? Then come fuck me "Ooh ooh! May I be so bold? | |||
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"I do just fine here. However, I didn't have wild expectations. Being courteous, flirty and friendly seems to work. " | |||
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"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" Yes I am over 40 and male Can't/won't accommodate Keep reasonably fit and think I am fairly decent looking. Pretty sociable, intelligent, chatty and polite but the main reason for my success on Fab.... I am married to a gorgeous wife | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? Then come fuck me
Ooh ooh! May I be so bold? " | |||
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"Just be yourself That's possibly the worst advice ... and don't I just know it. OP: read Mr Perfect's profile and veris above! And FFS don't take any notice of mine[/quote I hazard a speculative, wild, off the cuff guess and say your pics 'aint cutting the mustard' " | |||
"Are you male, over 40, doing ok on here? What do you think is reasin for your success? Ability to accommodate? Kept yourself fit? Are you attractive? Met people through clubs? Or just been here a while? On my case a all the above. As a matter of fact I am more successful now then when I was on my 20s and 30s. Recently I decided to sticky to club meets and private parties as I was let down for couples few times. Good luck! Do explain... The Secret Of Your Success?" | |||
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) rather than looking at every girl around just for ding dong | |||
