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Sad
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Have a beautiful friend from another site - shes kind, caring, good looking and very sexi. Cant believe what some guy did to her and now he's on this site.
She became very good friends with a man who said he was single - their friendship lasted about 2 years. They had daily phone calls, txts, emails, msn etc. But because of the distance, it wasnt until recently they finally met.
She got on a plane and flew up north to meet him - they got on so well that they decided she should stay another night. So she missed her flight home. She had to book another flight for the day she finally went home. So the expense for her is all adding up.
The guy did pay for the hotel room for the 1st day (9am - 6pm) but she picked up bill for the night she stayed. He had to leave the first evening as he was working nights. He came back the next morning and they spent that day and night together. She picked up the bill for the 2nd night as the hotel charged her card for the first night she stayed alone and the second day and night.
Everything went well and they were txting saying how much they wanted each other and couldnt wait to see each other again.
She then finds out he wasnt single, he was married. When she found out, he disappeared - he wont answer her calls, txts etc. he just disappeared.
How sad is that? 2 years wasted and she's heartbroken and the trip cost her at least £500. It cost him about 70 quid.
Is it just me or does this sound a really mean and nasty thing to do to someone?
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"yes that sounds very nasty and very mean thing to do
peaple like that give the rest of use a bad name"
I've never understood why what some other bloke does "gives the rest of us a bad name"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As bad as that story sounds trust me i have known of worse encounters, am afraid lots of cheating in general not just in the swing scene.
I hope your friend takes it with a pinch of salt and learns the hard way and as the saying goes and am a firm believer in this , ‘what goes around will come around and bite his ass’!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is sad, but what can be done? Some people will always lie, yes it cost her some money, spent on her own volition, she had a nice time, or it appears she did from the post. But, well the guy was cheating.
I am guessing that this was a lie that run away with the guy, he got caught up in all of it but, well now he has been exposed, to some degree.
I guess what I am trying to say is, that better she found out now than have the wife calling or knocking the proverbial door. It's a shame, but that's trust and people, we can't stop trusting people just because we have been let down. I know it's difficult to pick yourself up again, she will though, and perhaps because she has friends like you.
Internet "relationships" will always be prone to disappointment, because of the relative anonymity, that's not to say that they all end bad, just this one did. She had two years of friendship, unfortunately based on a lie, but still.....
It would be best if she took the positives from a negative situation, and then moved on, I wish her luck
P xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for replies - my first post too x
I think my friend is hurting just now - like I said, they were in contact every day for 2 years. Its really horrible seeing a friend so sad and nothing I say can cheer her up. I think she loved him, completely and cant believe he's gone. She keeps asking me why he did it, I dont know what to say  |
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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago
near kings lynn |
Just be there for her. Its horrible to be let down by someone you trusted and cared for. It may take her time to feel back to normal again. Its sort of a relationship in itself when you speak daily as you bond with that person.
Endless hugs and kisses x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"why is the cost of her stay important to the story? "
Its not important really but she went to so much trouble to meet this guy and now he wont even speak to her. Just wanted to get across all the effort she put into meeting him.
To be honest, I dont understand why he disappeared after 2 years of being in close contact with her. They used to txt each other as soon as they woke up in the morning and this wld go on until they went to bed at night. |
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"why is the cost of her stay important to the story?
Its not important really but she went to so much trouble to meet this guy and now he wont even speak to her. Just wanted to get across all the effort she put into meeting him.
To be honest, I dont understand why he disappeared after 2 years of being in close contact with her. They used to txt each other as soon as they woke up in the morning and this wld go on until they went to bed at night."
The danger of cyber...people can be what they ever they pretend...it happens in BDSM alot.
i hope your friend feels better soon,and remember she just lost money,far worse happens to some women who trust men they have never met. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I keep telling her she hasn't lost anything, she doesn't agree. She says its like she's lost her best friend and then gets upset because he couldn't have been her friend after all because he lied about being single.
I dont know what to say to help her if im honest. |
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"I keep telling her she hasn't lost anything, she doesn't agree. She says its like she's lost her best friend and then gets upset because he couldn't have been her friend after all because he lied about being single.
I dont know what to say to help her if im honest. "
Right now you are helping by listening,let her get over the betrayal,being a shoulder to cry on is underated but vital |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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" how doyou know he is on this site? have you seen him and does he play away a lot?"
Ive seen him on cam in the chat room on here and on the other site. Everyone on the other site knew they were made about each other, they were like a couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have a beautiful friend from another site - shes kind, caring, good looking and very sexi. Cant believe what some guy did to her and now he's on this site.
She became very good friends with a man who said he was single - their friendship lasted about 2 years. They had daily phone calls, txts, emails, msn etc. But because of the distance, it wasnt until recently they finally met.
She got on a plane and flew up north to meet him - they got on so well that they decided she should stay another night. So she missed her flight home. She had to book another flight for the day she finally went home. So the expense for her is all adding up.
The guy did pay for the hotel room for the 1st day (9am - 6pm) but she picked up bill for the night she stayed. He had to leave the first evening as he was working nights. He came back the next morning and they spent that day and night together. She picked up the bill for the 2nd night as the hotel charged her card for the first night she stayed alone and the second day and night.
Everything went well and they were txting saying how much they wanted each other and couldnt wait to see each other again.
She then finds out he wasnt single, he was married. When she found out, he disappeared - he wont answer her calls, txts etc. he just disappeared.
How sad is that? 2 years wasted and she's heartbroken and the trip cost her at least £500. It cost him about 70 quid.
Is it just me or does this sound a really mean and nasty thing to do to someone?
"
surely she must have had bells ringing when he asked her to come see him but he couldnt accommodate?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I did ask her why they went to a hotel and she said it was easier to book a hotel as he had to drive for an hour to get to the airport. They had been close friends for 2 years, she trusted him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"why is the cost of her stay important to the story? "
i think its important
if i had to pay to travel to meet someone id expect them to accommodate me either at home or in a hotel
same as if guys travel a long way to see me i always pay for the hotel
i think thats fair, one does the traveling and the other accommodates
theres no way id travel across the country and pick up the tab, bugger that
tho to me the whole story dont make sence
firstly a single guy who had been chatting to someone for 2 years would accommodate surely?
if you had arranged for someone to come see you you'd book the night off work?
if he'd really been at work all night he;d be to fooked to spend the day and night with her
the fact hes expecting her to travel and pay for the met to me says hes taking her for a twat
the whole thing is just so obviously not genuine im suprised alarm bells didnt ring straight away |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"why is the cost of her stay important to the story?
i think its important
if i had to pay to travel to meet someone id expect them to accommodate me either at home or in a hotel
same as if guys travel a long way to see me i always pay for the hotel
i think thats fair, one does the traveling and the other accommodates
theres no way id travel across the country and pick up the tab, bugger that
tho to me the whole story dont make sence
firstly a single guy who had been chatting to someone for 2 years would accommodate surely?
if you had arranged for someone to come see you you'd book the night off work?
if he'd really been at work all night he;d be to fooked to spend the day and night with her
the fact hes expecting her to travel and pay for the met to me says hes taking her for a twat
the whole thing is just so obviously not genuine im suprised alarm bells didnt ring straight away"
This is exactly what I think, thats why I dont know what to say to her - shes heartbroken and this guy has just disappeared. And to top it all, shes a lovely person, really nice looking, wouldnt hurt anyone. |
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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago
dirtybigbadsgirlville |
"Have a beautiful friend from another site - shes kind, caring, good looking and very sexi. Cant believe what some guy did to her and now he's on this site.
She became very good friends with a man who said he was single - their friendship lasted about 2 years. They had daily phone calls, txts, emails, msn etc. But because of the distance, it wasnt until recently they finally met.
She got on a plane and flew up north to meet him - they got on so well that they decided she should stay another night. So she missed her flight home. She had to book another flight for the day she finally went home. So the expense for her is all adding up.
The guy did pay for the hotel room for the 1st day (9am - 6pm) but she picked up bill for the night she stayed. He had to leave the first evening as he was working nights. He came back the next morning and they spent that day and night together. She picked up the bill for the 2nd night as the hotel charged her card for the first night she stayed alone and the second day and night.
Everything went well and they were txting saying how much they wanted each other and couldnt wait to see each other again.
She then finds out he wasnt single, he was married. When she found out, he disappeared - he wont answer her calls, txts etc. he just disappeared.
How sad is that? 2 years wasted and she's heartbroken and the trip cost her at least £500. It cost him about 70 quid.
Is it just me or does this sound a really mean and nasty thing to do to someone?
"
I dont think its fair to wash dirty linen in public, if he is on here then it isnt fair  |
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just been on hear this isnt the worst thing that could of happend.
your poor friend though, the single part was a lie but the friendship may have not been. when you lie your trapped in that lie and the longer it goes on the harder it becomes your friend may take this as comforms. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Have a beautiful friend from another site - shes kind, caring, good looking and very sexi. Cant believe what some guy did to her and now he's on this site.
She became very good friends with a man who said he was single - their friendship lasted about 2 years. They had daily phone calls, txts, emails, msn etc. But because of the distance, it wasnt until recently they finally met.
She got on a plane and flew up north to meet him - they got on so well that they decided she should stay another night. So she missed her flight home. She had to book another flight for the day she finally went home. So the expense for her is all adding up.
The guy did pay for the hotel room for the 1st day (9am - 6pm) but she picked up bill for the night she stayed. He had to leave the first evening as he was working nights. He came back the next morning and they spent that day and night together. She picked up the bill for the 2nd night as the hotel charged her card for the first night she stayed alone and the second day and night.
Everything went well and they were txting saying how much they wanted each other and couldnt wait to see each other again.
She then finds out he wasnt single, he was married. When she found out, he disappeared - he wont answer her calls, txts etc. he just disappeared.
How sad is that? 2 years wasted and she's heartbroken and the trip cost her at least £500. It cost him about 70 quid.
Is it just me or does this sound a really mean and nasty thing to do to someone?
I dont think its fair to wash dirty linen in public, if he is on here then it isnt fair "
Isnt fair on who? If you mean him lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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by the way i was down south when this all happened, i know im a total sponge...but not guilty this time.
anyway...anyone up for lending me a fiver...bring it back honest.... |
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"I did ask her why they went to a hotel and she said it was easier to book a hotel as he had to drive for an hour to get to the airport. They had been close friends for 2 years, she trusted him."
very to sorry to hear about your friend .never easy when people let you down or lie no matter on here or in normal day to day life. i have to say though as pointed out alarm bells would be ringing why after such a build up that shed have to book a hotel. if someone makes that much effort to travel youd would if any decent person be insistent on showing your hospitality to that person and open your home to them .
sometimes im afraid we dont wish to see all the signs in frount of us as easier to not want to spoil what seems to be perfect .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have a beautiful friend from another site - shes kind, caring, good looking and very sexi. Cant believe what some guy did to her and now he's on this site.
She became very good friends with a man who said he was single - their friendship lasted about 2 years. They had daily phone calls, txts, emails, msn etc. But because of the distance, it wasnt until recently they finally met.
She got on a plane and flew up north to meet him - they got on so well that they decided she should stay another night. So she missed her flight home. She had to book another flight for the day she finally went home. So the expense for her is all adding up.
The guy did pay for the hotel room for the 1st day (9am - 6pm) but she picked up bill for the night she stayed. He had to leave the first evening as he was working nights. He came back the next morning and they spent that day and night together. She picked up the bill for the 2nd night as the hotel charged her card for the first night she stayed alone and the second day and night.
Everything went well and they were txting saying how much they wanted each other and couldnt wait to see each other again.
She then finds out he wasnt single, he was married. When she found out, he disappeared - he wont answer her calls, txts etc. he just disappeared.
How sad is that? 2 years wasted and she's heartbroken and the trip cost her at least £500. It cost him about 70 quid.
Is it just me or does this sound a really mean and nasty thing to do to someone?
I dont think its fair to wash dirty linen in public, if he is on here then it isnt fair
Isnt fair on who? If you mean him lol"
thing is you only have one side of the story and his side may not be the same as hers
he could say he isnt married and has decided not to meet her for another reason
and if hes on this site what your doing is border line naming and shaming which isnt allowed so be careful |
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"I did ask her why they went to a hotel and she said it was easier to book a hotel as he had to drive for an hour to get to the airport. They had been close friends for 2 years, she trusted him.
very to sorry to hear about your friend .never easy when people let you down or lie no matter on here or in normal day to day life. i have to say though as pointed out alarm bells would be ringing why after such a build up that shed have to book a hotel. if someone makes that much effort to travel youd would if any decent person be insistent on showing your hospitality to that person and open your home to them .
sometimes im afraid we dont wish to see all the signs in frount of us as easier to not want to spoil what seems to be perfect .
"
my thoughts exactly when i read the OP,but they asked how to help their friend...her failures and idiocy are a different thread, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for replies - my first post too x
I think my friend is hurting just now - like I said, they were in contact every day for 2 years. Its really horrible seeing a friend so sad and nothing I say can cheer her up. I think she loved him, completely and cant believe he's gone. She keeps asking me why he did it, I dont know what to say "
But what she loved wasnt real..... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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He did book the hotel room for what was origionally planned, a 1 day meet, but they decided to see each other the day after, this is where her payment came in.
As for near naming and shaming, shes not on this site, he is and no names have been mentioned |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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She spent 2 years in a friendship like that, then planned an expensive visit and he wouldn't even take a night off work to be with her!
Sorry but shes a fool! |
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Why was two years wasted? Was he the only guy she was in contact with. Also she was the one that chose to travel up and put the hotel on her card.
It is a nasty and mean thing to do but she was the one that chose to stay the extra night. Think they should of sorted the cost thing out before she travelled up. ie, she pay for flight he pay for the room or such like |
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"I did ask her why they went to a hotel and she said it was easier to book a hotel as he had to drive for an hour to get to the airport. They had been close friends for 2 years, she trusted him.
very to sorry to hear about your friend .never easy when people let you down or lie no matter on here or in normal day to day life. i have to say though as pointed out alarm bells would be ringing why after such a build up that shed have to book a hotel. if someone makes that much effort to travel youd would if any decent person be insistent on showing your hospitality to that person and open your home to them .
sometimes im afraid we dont wish to see all the signs in frount of us as easier to not want to spoil what seems to be perfect .
my thoughts exactly when i read the OP,but they asked how to help their friend...her failures and idiocy are a different thread,"
No,what op actually asked was doesn't it sound a mean and nasty thing to do . My repsonse to that and to regards the hotel are relivent to this thread . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Poor Lady she give her heart and he played her like a fool ....... she trusted him ...... with out really knowing him ...... and most was on the net in cyber land or phone and he can be who ever he likes , Real life is very diffrent for some when thay meet face to face ...... selffish is what i call people like him ..... its all take take take even her heart. You live and learn and i would think she has ... from this . x |
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By *adchickCouple
over a year ago
Cyprus |
"Why was two years wasted? Was he the only guy she was in contact with. Also she was the one that chose to travel up and put the hotel on her card.
It is a nasty and mean thing to do but she was the one that chose to stay the extra night. Think they should of sorted the cost thing out before she travelled up. ie, she pay for flight he pay for the room or such like"
+1
Also, If I'd flown somewhere to meet a guy....... I'd have demanded that I had his address and at least visited his house.
And in two years, she never thought it 'odd' not to be able to ring his house phone? (I'm assuming she never did in case the wife answered).
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Have a beautiful friend from another site - shes kind, caring, good looking and very sexi. Cant believe what some guy did to her and now he's on this site.
She became very good friends with a man who said he was single - their friendship lasted about 2 years. They had daily phone calls, txts, emails, msn etc. But because of the distance, it wasnt until recently they finally met.
She got on a plane and flew up north to meet him - they got on so well that they decided she should stay another night. So she missed her flight home. She had to book another flight for the day she finally went home. So the expense for her is all adding up.
The guy did pay for the hotel room for the 1st day (9am - 6pm) but she picked up bill for the night she stayed. He had to leave the first evening as he was working nights. He came back the next morning and they spent that day and night together. She picked up the bill for the 2nd night as the hotel charged her card for the first night she stayed alone and the second day and night.
Everything went well and they were txting saying how much they wanted each other and couldnt wait to see each other again.
She then finds out he wasnt single, he was married. When she found out, he disappeared - he wont answer her calls, txts etc. he just disappeared.
How sad is that? 2 years wasted and she's heartbroken and the trip cost her at least £500. It cost him about 70 quid.
Is it just me or does this sound a really mean and nasty thing to do to someone?
surely she must have had bells ringing when he asked her to come see him but he couldnt accommodate?
"
That was ny thought too.
I don't mean to be harsh but two years and not meeting, then it's in a hotel and he doesn't stay over should have made her suspicious.
If you're on a swinging site you can't be naive.
Lesson learnt, don't jump through hoops for people who aren't prepared to meet halfway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Have a beautiful friend from another site - shes kind, caring, good looking and very sexi. Cant believe what some guy did to her and now he's on this site.
She became very good friends with a man who said he was single - their friendship lasted about 2 years. They had daily phone calls, txts, emails, msn etc. But because of the distance, it wasnt until recently they finally met.
She got on a plane and flew up north to meet him - they got on so well that they decided she should stay another night. So she missed her flight home. She had to book another flight for the day she finally went home. So the expense for her is all adding up.
The guy did pay for the hotel room for the 1st day (9am - 6pm) but she picked up bill for the night she stayed. He had to leave the first evening as he was working nights. He came back the next morning and they spent that day and night together. She picked up the bill for the 2nd night as the hotel charged her card for the first night she stayed alone and the second day and night.
Everything went well and they were txting saying how much they wanted each other and couldnt wait to see each other again.
She then finds out he wasnt single, he was married. When she found out, he disappeared - he wont answer her calls, txts etc. he just disappeared.
How sad is that? 2 years wasted and she's heartbroken and the trip cost her at least £500. It cost him about 70 quid.
Is it just me or does this sound a really mean and nasty thing to do to someone?
surely she must have had bells ringing when he asked her to come see him but he couldnt accommodate?
"
That was ny thought too.
I don't mean to be harsh but two years and not meeting, then it's in a hotel and he doesn't stay over should have made her suspicious.
If you're on a swinging site you can't be naive.
Lesson learnt, don't jump through hoops for people who aren't prepared to meet halfway. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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They had planned to meet for one day only - she arrived at 8.30am and was meant to catch her plane home that evening at 7pm - they decided she would stay another day and nite. That's why he went to work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know this sounds harsh, but your friend needs to take a long hard look at herself. If someone is single it does not take 2 years to meet them. End of. Yes it is a sad story but I think that I am interpreting sad in a very different way to the OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this sounds harsh, but your friend needs to take a long hard look at herself. If someone is single it does not take 2 years to meet them. End of. Yes it is a sad story but I think that I am interpreting sad in a very different way to the OP. "
i agree with this ^^^^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know this sounds harsh, but your friend needs to take a long hard look at herself. If someone is single it does not take 2 years to meet them. End of. Yes it is a sad story but I think that I am interpreting sad in a very different way to the OP.
i agree with this ^^^^^^"
Yes...me too I'm afraid. |
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"I know this sounds harsh, but your friend needs to take a long hard look at herself. If someone is single it does not take 2 years to meet them. End of. Yes it is a sad story but I think that I am interpreting sad in a very different way to the OP. "
errrr.....just to piss on your fireworks a bit, i met someone last year that it took 3 years to arrange a meet with and we were both single
combination of work, traveling, and distance mixed with maybe a bit of nerves
ok your friend was duped slightly and hopefuly she will learn from this but there really is nothing more that can be done or said to her, its happened, what is going to change the fact that she got seduced by a married man? nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well you live and learn i would think she has from all that. Maybe she picked not to see it how it was as happy in dream land and she must have known somthing was not right 2 years knowing a person he must have slip up over that time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"errrr.....just to piss on your fireworks a bit, i met someone last year that it took 3 years to arrange a meet with and we were both single
"
Had you fallen in love with him though? And had you not met him would you have _iewed it as 3 ears wasted... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"errrr.....just to piss on your fireworks a bit, i met someone last year that it took 3 years to arrange a meet with and we were both single
Had you fallen in love with him though? And had you not met him would you have _iewed it as 3 ears wasted..."
Who's got 3 ears and does it make him any better at oral?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well you live and learn i would think she has from all that. Maybe she picked not to see it how it was as happy in dream land and she must have known somthing was not right 2 years knowing a person he must have slip up over that time."
The woman I am talking about is by no means a soft-touch or an idiot when it comes to men. She met this guy on-line and a close friendship developed over time. I dont think for one minute when she swapped mobile numbers with him, she would end up feeling the way she does about him.
At the end of the day, whatever they used to talk about, message etc. it made her feel good, he made her feel good and she misses him.
I do think however, after reading some of the threads, us women give guys the green light to carry on like this. Shes been called an idiot etc. in some comments and taken for a mug in others but no one has remarked on the guy involved.
Guys reading this thread probably think if she was stupid enough to believe what he said to her, she was stupid to spend a lot of money to meet him, its her own stupid fault shes been hurt by the whole thing.
Thats why shes so upset, she does feel Stupid, she believed everything he said to her, she fell in love with him and now hes gone, shes missing him. Thats what I find sad about the whole thing. He should be ashamed of himself in my _iew |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People have commented on the guy, but you presented your post about the situation your friend is in so naturally that is is the focus of the responses. And, at the end of the day, threads on cheating men have been done to death on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well you live and learn i would think she has from all that. Maybe she picked not to see it how it was as happy in dream land and she must have known somthing was not right 2 years knowing a person he must have slip up over that time.
The woman I am talking about is by no means a soft-touch or an idiot when it comes to men. She met this guy on-line and a close friendship developed over time. I dont think for one minute when she swapped mobile numbers with him, she would end up feeling the way she does about him.
At the end of the day, whatever they used to talk about, message etc. it made her feel good, he made her feel good and she misses him.
I do think however, after reading some of the threads, us women give guys the green light to carry on like this. Shes been called an idiot etc. in some comments and taken for a mug in others but no one has remarked on the guy involved.
Guys reading this thread probably think if she was stupid enough to believe what he said to her, she was stupid to spend a lot of money to meet him, its her own stupid fault shes been hurt by the whole thing.
Thats why shes so upset, she does feel Stupid, she believed everything he said to her, she fell in love with him and now hes gone, shes missing him. Thats what I find sad about the whole thing. He should be ashamed of himself in my _iew "
she was in love with a man she never really new ..... and yes thay had a friendship and was close on the phone ... but really could never have been that close for him not to tell her the truth ....... married is married and lies are lies him working nights him not paying alot... his wife would ask where there money had gone if he had been speeding 100s of pounds. He played her for a fool sorry he did and thats what i would be mad about ... she give her heart and for what a man who was not being truthfull. She will learn as i say not to be taken in so easy as she comes across here as a sweet lady . |
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the same happened to me.i fell for a guy and was with him 3 years .little did i know her had a double identity double life or a newly wed life.the emotional abuse and the not knowing nearly killed me.i always asked why but he ran off when i found out,and yes it was through facebook also.but now after a year in therapy i am far stronger and far more confident and will never ever let any man do that to me ever again.its a big big danger of the internet.i was in love with him.talked about marriage and it was all a big game to him.well i got the last laugh but thats another story lol. tell her chin up.time is a great healer and the pain does faid.trust me i know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"the same happened to me.i fell for a guy and was with him 3 years .little did i know her had a double identity double life or a newly wed life.the emotional abuse and the not knowing nearly killed me.i always asked why but he ran off when i found out,and yes it was through facebook also.but now after a year in therapy i am far stronger and far more confident and will never ever let any man do that to me ever again.its a big big danger of the internet.i was in love with him.talked about marriage and it was all a big game to him.well i got the last laugh but thats another story lol. tell her chin up.time is a great healer and the pain does faid.trust me i know"
I think the difference is this is someone you met, knew and were planning a life with: some of us have been duped at some point in our lives I think.
I don't mean to be cold to the lady mentioned in the op but I feel the same as I do to those women who send thousands of pounds to men they've fallen in "love" with over the internet: what were you thinking?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People have commented on the guy, but you presented your post about the situation your friend is in so naturally that is is the focus of the responses. And, at the end of the day, threads on cheating men have been done to death on here."
a similar situation, a wife basically pretending to leave her husband. my friend(its not me come on lol!),basically doesnt see he's being either played or just has a needy liar.excuses after excuses of her not relocating, month to month nonsense.
ranting here but my point is,
people become pretty blinkered and lack hearing when it comes to things like this, friends and family sit hoping for the best but know the thing isnt gonna work out.
but surely in this day and age, people really need to be less gullable..to me its just that childish teenage 'love' thing... grow up is my advice, getta backbone and only blame urself for getting into that position.
so to the OP, ur friend wasnt entirely duped by the perfect playing away husband- all the indicators were there...she just refused to look properly
harsh lesson that some people never learn and do it again and again... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People have commented on the guy, but you presented your post about the situation your friend is in so naturally that is is the focus of the responses. And, at the end of the day, threads on cheating men have been done to death on here.
a similar situation, a wife basically pretending to leave her husband. my friend(its not me come on lol!),basically doesnt see he's being either played or just has a needy liar.excuses after excuses of her not relocating, month to month nonsense.
ranting here but my point is,
people become pretty blinkered and lack hearing when it comes to things like this, friends and family sit hoping for the best but know the thing isnt gonna work out.
but surely in this day and age, people really need to be less gullable..to me its just that childish teenage 'love' thing... grow up is my advice, getta backbone and only blame urself for getting into that position.
so to the OP, ur friend wasnt entirely duped by the perfect playing away husband- all the indicators were there...she just refused to look properly
harsh lesson that some people never learn and do it again and again..."
What indicators were there? Do you mean that the meet was at a hotel and not his home? Cause, apart from that, I dont see any other indicator and to be honest, I prefer hotel meets as its mutual territory, more comfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People have commented on the guy, but you presented your post about the situation your friend is in so naturally that is is the focus of the responses. And, at the end of the day, threads on cheating men have been done to death on here.
a similar situation, a wife basically pretending to leave her husband. my friend(its not me come on lol!),basically doesnt see he's being either played or just has a needy liar.excuses after excuses of her not relocating, month to month nonsense.
ranting here but my point is,
people become pretty blinkered and lack hearing when it comes to things like this, friends and family sit hoping for the best but know the thing isnt gonna work out.
but surely in this day and age, people really need to be less gullable..to me its just that childish teenage 'love' thing... grow up is my advice, getta backbone and only blame urself for getting into that position.
so to the OP, ur friend wasnt entirely duped by the perfect playing away husband- all the indicators were there...she just refused to look properly
harsh lesson that some people never learn and do it again and again...
What indicators were there? Do you mean that the meet was at a hotel and not his home? Cause, apart from that, I dont see any other indicator and to be honest, I prefer hotel meets as its mutual territory, more comfortable."
2 years OP...2 years... now that IS a long time for whatever purpose of the meet, either a quick shag or something more... I repeat 2 years |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"People have commented on the guy, but you presented your post about the situation your friend is in so naturally that is is the focus of the responses. And, at the end of the day, threads on cheating men have been done to death on here.
a similar situation, a wife basically pretending to leave her husband. my friend(its not me come on lol!),basically doesnt see he's being either played or just has a needy liar.excuses after excuses of her not relocating, month to month nonsense.
ranting here but my point is,
people become pretty blinkered and lack hearing when it comes to things like this, friends and family sit hoping for the best but know the thing isnt gonna work out.
but surely in this day and age, people really need to be less gullable..to me its just that childish teenage 'love' thing... grow up is my advice, getta backbone and only blame urself for getting into that position.
so to the OP, ur friend wasnt entirely duped by the perfect playing away husband- all the indicators were there...she just refused to look properly
harsh lesson that some people never learn and do it again and again...
What indicators were there? Do you mean that the meet was at a hotel and not his home? Cause, apart from that, I dont see any other indicator and to be honest, I prefer hotel meets as its mutual territory, more comfortable.
2 years OP...2 years... now that IS a long time for whatever purpose of the meet, either a quick shag or something more... I repeat 2 years"
Sorry, yr wrong, she was the one who chose to wait that long, not him.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Sorry, yr wrong, she was the one who chose to wait that long, not him.
"
So your mate was in love with a guy she had never met, but in no rush to meet him? 
Like I said previously, she has to take more than a little responsibility for this herself and I find it odd that you can't see that and seem unhappy that not everyone who is replying is showing nothing but blind sympathy and support to her.
If she had met him countless times then yes, I would have nothing but sympathy for her situation. But she hadn't. For 2 years. What part of that sceanrio was ever likely to have a happy ending? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Sorry, yr wrong, she was the one who chose to wait that long, not him.
So your mate was in love with a guy she had never met, but in no rush to meet him?
Like I said previously, she has to take more than a little responsibility for this herself and I find it odd that you can't see that and seem unhappy that not everyone who is replying is showing nothing but blind sympathy and support to her.
If she had met him countless times then yes, I would have nothing but sympathy for her situation. But she hadn't. For 2 years. What part of that sceanrio was ever likely to have a happy ending?"
She was in no rush to meet him because she is not the complete idiot some of you are making her out to be. She is a single women in the Swinging scene so she wasnt about to go running off to meet this guy. Like I said, they were in close contact daily and the relationship grew over time.
Lets hope he dosent read this thread because its replies like yours that will make him think its ok to do what hes done and he will go on and do it again to some other poor woman, I hope its not one of your friends!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Sorry, yr wrong, she was the one who chose to wait that long, not him.
So your mate was in love with a guy she had never met, but in no rush to meet him?
Like I said previously, she has to take more than a little responsibility for this herself and I find it odd that you can't see that and seem unhappy that not everyone who is replying is showing nothing but blind sympathy and support to her.
If she had met him countless times then yes, I would have nothing but sympathy for her situation. But she hadn't. For 2 years. What part of that sceanrio was ever likely to have a happy ending?
She was in no rush to meet him because she is not the complete idiot some of you are making her out to be. She is a single women in the Swinging scene so she wasnt about to go running off to meet this guy. Like I said, they were in close contact daily and the relationship grew over time.
Lets hope he dosent read this thread because its replies like yours that will make him think its ok to do what hes done and he will go on and do it again to some other poor woman, I hope its not one of your friends!
"
Quote me where I have in any way shape or form condoned his behaviour? I haven't. So maybe you could retract that please?
All I have done is questioned your friend's role in this and that is what appears to have got you annoyed. So apologies that I and others on this thread aren;t fawning over her and saying "there, there you poor thing" and are taking a slightly more cynical _iewpoint that she needs to take some responsibility for this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
She was in no rush to meet him because she is not the complete idiot some of you are making her out to be. "
In all honesty when, in your opening post, you said that she felt she had wasted 2 years and was heartbroken, you were probably in someway laying the groundwork for any posts on this thread where that _iew has manifested itself... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Sorry, yr wrong, she was the one who chose to wait that long, not him.
So your mate was in love with a guy she had never met, but in no rush to meet him?
Like I said previously, she has to take more than a little responsibility for this herself and I find it odd that you can't see that and seem unhappy that not everyone who is replying is showing nothing but blind sympathy and support to her.
If she had met him countless times then yes, I would have nothing but sympathy for her situation. But she hadn't. For 2 years. What part of that sceanrio was ever likely to have a happy ending?
She was in no rush to meet him because she is not the complete idiot some of you are making her out to be. She is a single women in the Swinging scene so she wasnt about to go running off to meet this guy. Like I said, they were in close contact daily and the relationship grew over time.
Lets hope he dosent read this thread because its replies like yours that will make him think its ok to do what hes done and he will go on and do it again to some other poor woman, I hope its not one of your friends!
Quote me where I have in any way shape or form condoned his behaviour? I haven't. So maybe you could retract that please?
All I have done is questioned your friend's role in this and that is what appears to have got you annoyed. So apologies that I and others on this thread aren;t fawning over her and saying "there, there you poor thing" and are taking a slightly more cynical _iewpoint that she needs to take some responsibility for this. "
Totally agree, I thought this was a swinging site. Surely if your looking for love this isn't the place to look for it? I have to say she sound like a very nice woman but very naive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry op but I can't see anywhere where anyone has said what this man did was right: it's downright despicable.
However, your friend has to take some of the blame. You claim she's not an idiot, but falling in 'love" with someone she's never met after years of living in a virtual fantasy world does make her seem naive at best. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I shall pass your comments on to her - i'm sure they will cheer her up and make her feel a whole let better about herself and the whole thing. She knows she's been played good and proper and she's trying hard to cope with that now. So thanks for your opinions/_iews x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I shall pass your comments on to her - i'm sure they will cheer her up and make her feel a whole let better about herself and the whole thing. She knows she's been played good and proper and she's trying hard to cope with that now. So thanks for your opinions/_iews x"
Well you were the one that brought it to the attention of the forum, maybe that will make her feel better?
Anyway sorry to labour a point, but can I refer you back to my earlier post asking you to substantiate or retract your ascertation that I was condoning his behaviour please. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I shall pass your comments on to her - i'm sure they will cheer her up and make her feel a whole let better about herself and the whole thing. She knows she's been played good and proper and she's trying hard to cope with that now. So thanks for your opinions/_iews x
Well you were the one that brought it to the attention of the forum, maybe that will make her feel better?
Anyway sorry to labour a point, but can I refer you back to my earlier post asking you to substantiate or retract your ascertation that I was condoning his behaviour please."
No |
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By *b430Man
over a year ago
Tayside |
"
Anyway sorry to labour a point, but can I refer you back to my earlier post asking you to substantiate or retract your ascertation that I was condoning his behaviour please."
I wouldn't let it worry you that much as none of us actually know the full true story and probably never will.
And before I get slated for "sticking up for the bloke" I aint as I don't know the truth! |
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call me a cynic but i just dont buy any of it, the initial 'story' just does'nt sit right, imho
too much 'sensitivity' from the op to what must have been the expected scrutiny of the 'story'
and why would anyone with a 'friend' in such a situation air the said friends dirty laundry on any 'swinging' site?
people frequent more than one site and use chatrooms also
just a question to the op, have you contacted the male who you say is on here to let him know what an absolute scoundrel and a cad he has been?
feckin sure i would if he had treated my 'friend' in such a way |
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