FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Is this the norm?
Is this the norm?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ?"
100% normal. We are a verified couple, and have suffered the sudden ice cold block from many single males/females and couples. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ?
100% normal. We are a verified couple, and have suffered the sudden ice cold block from many single males/females and couples. "
Why would singles males block you guys ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"They are here either for the wank chat or ego boost.
It's why I don't talk sex. "
I like to chat to people first to see what they are like. I let them make the first move towards sex talk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ?"
Yup the 16 year old claiming he is Helen, size 10, nympho has just cum in a Kleenex... welcome to fab x
ps: if the conversation has got into ‘what I’d like to do to you’ in my experience they aren’t gonna meet anytime soon x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its the internet
Its people
Internet + people = fantasy
The trouble with the internet interactions is that people tend to fill in the gaps. You get a response so you think they are interested. Wrong. They start talking sex ( cyber ) so you think it means they will do it for real. Wrong.
A lot of people on here are not who they say they are, some because they are having a laugh ( at your expense of course ) and some because they have personality disorders or even just want attention.
Some are on a journey of escalating behaviour - it might take them months and MANY close-call interactions of eventual no-shows before they actually do meet.
If you enjoy the chit chat and know the likelyhood that its not going to happen then its all less of a shock or disappointment huh.
The best results are from intelligent people whos requirements match and who will rapidly arrange to meet...even with a social at first.
My/our experience of this site is that very few understand how to conduct themselves. We have been appalled on a daily basis but know ( and have met) some lovely people.
The internet is a throwaway place. Remember that.
Good luck. |
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"Its the internet
Its people
Internet + people = fantasy
The trouble with the internet interactions is that people tend to fill in the gaps. You get a response so you think they are interested. Wrong. They start talking sex ( cyber ) so you think it means they will do it for real. Wrong.
A lot of people on here are not who they say they are, some because they are having a laugh ( at your expense of course ) and some because they have personality disorders or even just want attention.
Some are on a journey of escalating behaviour - it might take them months and MANY close-call interactions of eventual no-shows before they actually do meet.
If you enjoy the chit chat and know the likelyhood that its not going to happen then its all less of a shock or disappointment huh.
The best results are from intelligent people whos requirements match and who will rapidly arrange to meet...even with a social at first.
My/our experience of this site is that very few understand how to conduct themselves. We have been appalled on a daily basis but know ( and have met) some lovely people.
The internet is a throwaway place. Remember that.
Good luck."
That's a pretty good explanation of the situation. Basically I said there is nothing to do, just move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had the chat with someone, lots of it. All seemed good they were desperate for a meet. I had a free long weekend, mentioned it.
Person read it and then disappeared until the tuesday.
Acted as though nothing had happened.
One of only two weekends free last year. So to say i was gutted was an understatement.
But just drew a line under it, blocked them and moved on.
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"Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ?"
The guy came. Was a bloke, mate. |
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"Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ?
The guy came. Was a bloke, mate. "
We think we are courting one at the momment too |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
I don't get involved in wank chat or exchanging pictures as I find the minute I do chances of a real meet vanish.
I'd say you were probably chatting to a guy who was getting his rocks off |
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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago
In a sleepy little village |
"Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ?
The guy came. Was a bloke, mate.
We think we are courting one at the momment too "
Are you going to wind him up ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its the internet
Its people
Internet + people = fantasy
The trouble with the internet interactions is that people tend to fill in the gaps. You get a response so you think they are interested. Wrong. They start talking sex ( cyber ) so you think it means they will do it for real. Wrong.
A lot of people on here are not who they say they are, some because they are having a laugh ( at your expense of course ) and some because they have personality disorders or even just want attention.
Some are on a journey of escalating behaviour - it might take them months and MANY close-call interactions of eventual no-shows before they actually do meet.
If you enjoy the chit chat and know the likelyhood that its not going to happen then its all less of a shock or disappointment huh.
The best results are from intelligent people whos requirements match and who will rapidly arrange to meet...even with a social at first.
My/our experience of this site is that very few understand how to conduct themselves. We have been appalled on a daily basis but know ( and have met) some lovely people.
The internet is a throwaway place. Remember that.
Good luck."
I always come to every new encounter on Fab with a positive frame of mind (everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt and cynicism isn't sexy anyway). As such, I always hope for the best. But, in my heart, I know everything you wrote above is totally true. So I never expect anything. That way it's always a delightful surprise when something actually transpires.
However, lol, nothing yet has transpired |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"100% normal. We are a verified couple, and have suffered the sudden ice cold block from many single males/females and couples.
Why would singles males block you guys ?"
Because they ain't what they say they are (single, female, a couple). Once they realise you are serious about meeting it is no lomger a (usually male) wank fantasy and they block as the easiest way out. |
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"Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ?
The guy came. Was a bloke, mate.
We think we are courting one at the momment too
Are you going to wind him up ? "
As if we would do such a thing it unthinkable |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If a guy mentions meeting prematurely I go cold, especially if they ask a few times. Usually I’ll tell them it’s a bit soon let chat to see if we get to that point, but then if they continue to ask I’ll just block with no explanation |
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Good post and replies. Some of this is making sense now. Thanks. Get this shit happening too often and could not understand it. I get my kicks from actual meets. Don’t understand what people get from playing games except maybe a minor ego boost. Not soul satisfying though, is it? |
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By *isty286Couple
over a year ago
Dorset |
"I've just been chatting to someone, been 'matched' on one of those wank chat threads - convo going well then suddenly the 'user is no longer on site'
What the hell is that about?!"
His missus got back from the bingo. |
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"If a guy mentions meeting prematurely I go cold, especially if they ask a few times. Usually I’ll tell them it’s a bit soon let chat to see if we get to that point, but then if they continue to ask I’ll just block with no explanation "
Yeah. It's basically ignoring my no. Repeatedly ignoring my no is a red flag, and so I'll be out of there. If someone can't respect my "I'm not ready to meet yet", why should I trust that they'd respect my safety or consent in person? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy mentions meeting prematurely I go cold, especially if they ask a few times. Usually I’ll tell them it’s a bit soon let chat to see if we get to that point, but then if they continue to ask I’ll just block with no explanation "
But that’s a guy.....pretending to be a guy....?
OP seems to be talking about guys pretending to be couple/fem etc... |
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"Its the internet
Its people
Internet + people = fantasy
The trouble with the internet interactions is that people tend to fill in the gaps. You get a response so you think they are interested. Wrong. They start talking sex ( cyber ) so you think it means they will do it for real. Wrong.
A lot of people on here are not who they say they are, some because they are having a laugh ( at your expense of course ) and some because they have personality disorders or even just want attention.
Some are on a journey of escalating behaviour - it might take them months and MANY close-call interactions of eventual no-shows before they actually do meet.
If you enjoy the chit chat and know the likelyhood that its not going to happen then its all less of a shock or disappointment huh.
The best results are from intelligent people whos requirements match and who will rapidly arrange to meet...even with a social at first.
My/our experience of this site is that very few understand how to conduct themselves. We have been appalled on a daily basis but know ( and have met) some lovely people.
The internet is a throwaway place. Remember that.
Good luck."
Exactly this - thanks Bromsgrovers. The other factor to take into account is with a couple dynamic often one of the pair may be hesitant / needing convincing (or even being bullied into it) they may feel they are ‘taking one for the team’ or not as thrilled about swinging as the other or sometimes the male of the couple may be intimidated by the prospective male, same for the ladies (‘she’s so beautiful and I’ve got a horrible body’), so lots of positive chat from the enthusiastic member of the couple then when the meet is scheduled.... the less enamoured partner digs heels in and says no! |
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"If a guy mentions meeting prematurely I go cold, especially if they ask a few times. Usually I’ll tell them it’s a bit soon let chat to see if we get to that point, but then if they continue to ask I’ll just block with no explanation "
Totally get this
Or if they get too graphic ,puts me off too.
Miss |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the same with people who want to chat on Kik. I've only met 1 person who I spoke to on Kik; the other 100 or so disappeared when they realised I don't do fantasy wank talk or naked pics. My block list on there is huge. |
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By *greygorCouple
over a year ago
birmingham |
ha ha .we well stopped caring .we been on here a while .its all part fab life .but you will meet great people on fab if you just keep going and dont take any knock backs to heart .its part of the fab game |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy mentions meeting prematurely I go cold, especially if they ask a few times. Usually I’ll tell them it’s a bit soon let chat to see if we get to that point, but then if they continue to ask I’ll just block with no explanation
But that’s a guy.....pretending to be a guy....?
OP seems to be talking about guys pretending to be couple/fem etc..."
There was no mention of that in his original post, I got the impression he was asking why this might happen and other people seem to suggest they might be a fake. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a guy mentions meeting prematurely I go cold, especially if they ask a few times. Usually I’ll tell them it’s a bit soon let chat to see if we get to that point, but then if they continue to ask I’ll just block with no explanation
Yeah. It's basically ignoring my no. Repeatedly ignoring my no is a red flag, and so I'll be out of there. If someone can't respect my "I'm not ready to meet yet", why should I trust that they'd respect my safety or consent in person? "
Exactly this, I’ve said this on many occasions. Sometimes I ignore or say no to people I might like, to gauge their reaction. If it’s negative I know I’ve made the right decision, if positive we sometimes get chatting. Anyone who doesn’t respect my decision to wait or say no is definitely not someone I’d like to meet in person. And as someone else said too graphic is definitely a red flag. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"It's the same with people who want to chat on Kik. I've only met 1 person who I spoke to on Kik; the other 100 or so disappeared when they realised I don't do fantasy wank talk or naked pics. My block list on there is huge. "
That's why it's best to keep the chat on here, stops the pic collectors etc. |
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"Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ?"
Welcome to Fab lol. |
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Sadly I enter every new communication with doubt in my mind. The times in the past when I used to get butterflies from getting a new message out of the blue from someone has told me not to get exited. Most lead nowhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always find it best to stay respectful until meeting.
I make it clear from the start. Three reasons.
1) Once the fab fun timer starts there's no getting off it. And if you can't meet for a few weeks and it's all sex chat it gets dull.
2) We all know what we're here for. It doesn't need dissecting
3) If you can't meet, it's a waste of time and there's nowt worse than starting something that you can't finish.
Just my thoughts. |
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"Well you get chatting to a lady taking it easy and dropping gentle hints. Both of you are now messaging what you want to do to each other. You suggest meeting and it all goes colder than ice. No messages, ignoring totally and sometimes blocking.
Anyone else have this ?"
Hahaha the men can be just as bad for this |
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