FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > How NOT to behave at a club

How NOT to behave at a club

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

This is my personal opinion and preference, however, if I am at a club, and a complete stranger comes up to me and ask if I am on my own or with someone, and after I reply I am on my own, he suggests for us to get a room and have some fun, with no attempt to make any polite conversations, I would be inclined to tell him to piss off in a polite way.

This happened to me last night at Chams, and I replied with a firm "no", pulled my usual face of displeasure, and walked off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i had this last night too

i said i wasnt alone with a friend and then i was told " u can do so much better" fancy a fuck!!

i looked at him up and down and laughed and said sorry u dont measure up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i had this last night too

i said i wasnt alone with a friend and then i was told " u can do so much better" fancy a fuck!!

i looked at him up and down and laughed and said sorry u dont measure up

Nice one!

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"This is my personal opinion and preference, however, if I am at a club, and a complete stranger comes up to me and ask if I am on my own or with someone, and after I reply I am on my own, he suggests for us to get a room and have some fun, with no attempt to make any polite conversations, I would be inclined to tell him to piss off in a polite way.

This happened to me last night at Chams, and I replied with a firm "no", pulled my usual face of displeasure, and walked off.

You see if i was at a club, i see nothing wrong with that.Its a sex club after all.He is not to know what your criteria are and i think pulling a face is far ruder than anything he did.

What matters is that he took your no with respect.A simple no thank you wud have done.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

You see if i was at a club, i see nothing wrong with that.Its a sex club after all.He is not to know what your criteria are and i think pulling a face is far ruder than anything he did.

What matters is that he took your no with respect.A simple no thank you wud have done.

I appreciate where you are coming from, however, I am not one that can hide my displeasure easily.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

You see if i was at a club, i see nothing wrong with that.Its a sex club after all.He is not to know what your criteria are and i think pulling a face is far ruder than anything he did.

What matters is that he took your no with respect.A simple no thank you wud have done.

I appreciate where you are coming from, however, I am not one that can hide my displeasure easily.

Actually,what really matters is that you felt able to say no!

Poor single blokes dammed if they do dammed if they dont!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So pulling your usual face of displeasure, and walking off is how to behave in a club.¿ So what about a polite thanks but no thanks ?

Or you think your above all that ¿

* S¡Ts iN CrYp¡T * -|-

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"i had this last night too

i said i wasnt alone with a friend and then i was told " u can do so much better" fancy a fuck!!

i looked at him up and down and laughed and said sorry u dont measure up

"
......

best keep it @ that

* S¡Ts iN CrYp¡T * -|-

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I would like to believe I said no in the polite way, however, I know I would have showed my contempt in my usual manner, as I do not hide my emotions easily.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Actually,what really matters is that you felt able to say no!

Poor single blokes dammed if they do dammed if they dont!

I could go on about what else he got up to. Put it this way, I doubt if he got very far with many, if at all last night!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Everytime I've been there he's asked followed me around so he needed the blunt aproach. Sometimes somepeople see a no as a maybe!

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

Actually,what really matters is that you felt able to say no!

Poor single blokes dammed if they do dammed if they dont!

I could go on about what else he got up to. Put it this way, I doubt if he got very far with many, if at all last night!

I would have thought after your "face of displeasure" he would have scurried off with his tail between his legs never to try and ask anyone else if they fancied swinging in a swingers club!

Those single blokes always expect way too much, eh?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Another gent pinched my bum as I walked down the stairs.

I stopped, turned round, and said please don't do that, and he backed off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

There were reports of a handful of idiots who moaned about not much action for themselves within a couple of hours after they walked through the door.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We got a room not long after 1030 and was thankful for some quiet time (ok I mean groaning and fucking)

But was a good night

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By *LBishCouple over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

You get the guys in clubs who have this aproach then wonder why they never get to play. I wouldnt like a guy to say fancy a fuck or that whoever i was with wasnt good enough. If only they take a little time to make at least some kind of plight conversation, instead of following ppl around with the hope of joining in. Clubs are great if you take some time to socialise first.

Come on guys, would you aproach a lady in a pub and ask that same question.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sounds more like feeding time at the zoo...

Wolf :L

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"You get the guys in clubs who have this aproach then wonder why they never get to play. I wouldnt like a guy to say fancy a fuck or that whoever i was with wasnt good enough. If only they take a little time to make at least some kind of plight conversation, instead of following ppl around with the hope of joining in. Clubs are great if you take some time to socialise first.

Come on guys, would you aproach a lady in a pub and ask that same question. "

Its not a pub

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I like the direct approach to be honest.

If we used clubs, I would rather it be direct.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

Come on guys, would you aproach a lady in a pub and ask that same question. "

I know a few friends that do use that approach in pubs and although it doesn't work everytime, they never seem to go home alone at the end of the night.

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By *atisfy janeWoman over a year ago

Torquay

"I like the direct approach to be honest.

If we used clubs, I would rather it be direct."

Me too....if guys can't be direct in a swingers club where can they be?

It isn't hard to say 'No thanks', I have said it plenty of times at clubs and parties.

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By *ong_legs2Couple over a year ago

essex

what was the club??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

chams

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By *LBishCouple over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

I just think a little bit of chat first is nice and some flirting. I know its not a pub, but all the same some conversation before hand is always nice. We find the reg guys at clubs do great and they are the onces who seem to socialise a little first. Guess everyone is different some like the line fancy a shag, personally i like a hello first lol.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"what was the club??"

It sounds like it was a Tea Dance Club, those pesky single males will try and get a shag anywhere these days!

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"There were reports of a handful of idiots who moaned about not much action for themselves within a couple of hours after they walked through the door.

i have seen that in clubs and it is one of the things that really irks me.....

these would normally be the same people who wouldn't say boo to a goose, then wander round patrolling the plays areas, then whenever anyone gets near to playing they suddenly are there with cocks out playing with themselves... like silent assasins....

and then they ask me what is my secret because i seem to be having a good time....

i just say "i actually talked to them" and walk off.....

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By *atisfy janeWoman over a year ago

Torquay

It's not a case of some women liking the line 'Fancy a shag'....it's just some women wouldn't be offended by such a line as they know how to say 'No thanks'.....without it being a big deal, considering where you are at that particular time.....Chams isn't exactly a church is it?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i have seen that in clubs and it is one of the things that really irks me.....

with great cheezy grins on their chops too...

LMAO

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

No it is not a church, and I was in a club.

However, I do not believe it is unreasonable to expect small talks prior to getting hot and sweaty with a total stranger.

As my opening line said, it is my own person opinion/preference, so please feel free to agree to disagree.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"It's not a case of some women liking the line 'Fancy a shag'....it's just some women wouldn't be offended by such a line as they know how to say 'No thanks'.....without it being a big deal, considering where you are at that particular time.....Chams isn't exactly a church is it?"

* nods *

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"No it is not a church, and I was in a club.

However, I do not believe it is unreasonable to expect small talks prior to getting hot and sweaty with a total stranger.

As my opening line said, it is my own person opinion/preference, so please feel free to agree to disagree.

Exactly, we all like things differently....and obviously that man likes the direct approach.

There isn't anything wrong with either, we all do what suits us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Agree, good job we don't all like the same things, or it would be a very dull world!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thanks, a good post, learnt a lot.

I've read the club section because I've never been to one. I'm close to Bristol, can anybody recommend a club for a nervous beginner?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Thanks, a good post, learnt a lot.

I've read the club section because I've never been to one. I'm close to Bristol, can anybody recommend a club for a nervous beginner?"

I have heard good reports about Bath Swingers Club, however, I have not been there myself.

Chams at Newport is good, however, it is not as good as their other branch in Darlaston, IMHO.

The bar is long and narrow, and not easy to socialise around that area, and it only has 1 jacuzzi.

Have fun!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

thing is we all go to a sex club for mainly sex

but i have to be in the mood to play and sometimes "fancy a fuck " wont work

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It happens a lot i think

I get it quite regular when guys ask me if im alone and as soon as i say yes its almost like im fair game

Guys make far more of an efforet with couples as they know they have to get past the fella, in most cases, to play with the woman

where as they see single woman as a easy option, and that they do not have to make any effort as they have no fella to 'look after' them

having swung as a couple with my ex husband and as a single, now we have split up, it was the thing that has always stood out to me the most, the difference in the way men treat you being alone as apposed to being with a guy

Ive had i on private meets too, me and the ex used to meet single guys together, but if when we met i didnt like them and we said ...thanks for the drink but we arnt going to take it any further, we never had a problem, the guy would say ok, thanks etc and be on his way, as a single woman, i have met guys in pubs, had a drink and said, your not my type etc and i have got a right load of abuse off some

which i never had when i had a guy sat at my side!!!

not saything all single guys have this attitude but a fair few do

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I agree with Pearl, the 'fancy a fuck' with no preamble does little for me either.

And like Pearl, I don't need their life history, just a bit of small talk, first.

It gives me a chance to decide if I like them enough to want to play, and makes me less likely to feel like a piece of meat!

Also, if I decide during my little chat, that I don't want to play, its much less painful for them when I excuse myself and go elsewhere, so kinder, alround, methinks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This happened to me last night at Chams, and I replied with a firm "no", pulled my usual face of displeasure, and walked off.

You see if i was at a club, i see nothing wrong with that.Its a sex club after all.He is not to know what your criteria are and i think pulling a face is far ruder than anything he did.

What matters is that he took your no with respect.A simple no thank you wud have done.

i also understand where you are coming from, what i dont understand is why he felt the need to ask if she was single?

was it because if she was with someone he fells he need to ask the partner is its ok to play? or was it because he thought i'll try the singe woman saves talking to their fellas who he has no interest in?

I know its a question most people will ask but seems a very odd first question, almost likes hes just getting it out the way so he can get on with it

if you like a person you talk to that person and ask them if they would like to play wether they single or not surely?

thats just my opinion tho, and opinions are like arse holes...we all have one

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

I never give out a good look when offered the fancy a fuck offer in a club nor the man who follows me round once realising I am single.

I do think it important to ask if the lady is alone or with someone as maybe the single male doesnt enjoy playing with couples as it isnt everyones thing. Some people like just 1 on 1 meets and not 3 somes.

If he is asking, only wanting to see as others have said :fair game then no that isnt ok. Wether she is alone or with a single fem/male friend I still expect some chatter first before being offered sex.

The man that chats first with me,maybe asks my name and smells good (yum)is the one that is more likely to get some naughty fun than the one that follows around and offers sex as pretty much the first words.

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By *ittlemorespiceCouple over a year ago

North Cornwall

Hm...I understand what the ladies are saying for sure although..... what if he was absolutely gorgeous, sweet smelling with a charming smile. Your eyes meet and.... not expecting complete honesty here but doesn't it just boil down to semantics in a swinging club? Just wondering.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sometimes i have gone to chams really gagging for some good sex and i never find noone that appeals

YET

when im not at my peak i find sexy people all the time x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i could never be that forward. to ask someone i have barely spoken to to go to a room, regardless if that was a single female, or a female part of a couple..

but then i dont go there to see how many woman i can fuck in one night.. i'm quiet happy to spend the evening chatting, and 9/10 thats all it is.. but then, that can be down to the fact, i never know if i have "pulled" or not.

the way i see it.. treat people people in a club, the same way you would if you was to meet them in a vanilla club or bar... good old fashioned "hello how are you....." does no harm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Great thread this!

Having not been to a club yet it made me wonder if a woman approaches a guy there and asks for a shag?

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Great thread this!

Having not been to a club yet it made me wonder if a woman approaches a guy there and asks for a shag?"

Yes!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

if i liked the look of someone yes i would ask x

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

"Hm...I understand what the ladies are saying for sure although..... what if he was absolutely gorgeous, sweet smelling with a charming smile. Your eyes meet and.... not expecting complete honesty here but doesn't it just boil down to semantics in a swinging club? Just wondering."

Then i would still (honestly) need to chat first and say hi and see if the chemistry i am feeling is taking more effect as we chat then would ask if he would be interested in some fun maybe?

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

...then if i am mid shag lol and a gentleman comes to join in while a few of us are busy and like the look of him then yes,wont stop play to chat with him first...but if i am walking around/sitting having a drink then yes am gonna chat first.

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By *ruitWoman over a year ago

near kings lynn

"i could never be that forward. to ask someone i have barely spoken to to go to a room, regardless if that was a single female, or a female part of a couple..

the way i see it.. treat people people in a club, the same way you would if you was to meet them in a vanilla club or bar... good old fashioned "hello how are you....." does no harm"

Am loving this man xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Great thread this!

Having not been to a club yet it made me wonder if a woman approaches a guy there and asks for a shag?"

I have never approached a complete stranger on FAB via PMs or at a club whether they would like to play or not, it is not something I would do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Am loving this man xxx"

He is a lovely gentleman.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This happened to me last night at Chams, and I replied with a firm "no", pulled my usual face of displeasure, and walked off.

Sorry Pearl am I missing something? One of the reasons I don't do clubs is for that reason...total strangers approaching you for sex without preamble. What did he do wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Sorry Pearl am I missing something? One of the reasons I don't do clubs is for that reason...total strangers approaching you for sex without preamble. What did he do wrong?

Nothing I guess, except his approach did not suit or agree with me.

Each to their own at the end of the day, and I have my own funny peculiar likes and dislikes!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Giving the lady here a smack across the bum as she passes by you at chams!

More than often results in her smacking the quilty party across the face and a telling off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

After seeing a group of guys acting like animals aound a single girl last weekend I would advise all single guys that being polite and respectful to a lady is much more likely to get you somewhere than "fancy a shag".

However much the ladies do or don't like that direct approach they will almost always prefer the polite male.

A few minutes polite conversation and a gentle request to play is much more likely to end up with you getting what you are after.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"After seeing a group of guys acting like animals aound a single girl last weekend I would advise all single guys that being polite and respectful to a lady is much more likely to get you somewhere than "fancy a shag".

However much the ladies do or don't like that direct approach they will almost always prefer the polite male.

A few minutes polite conversation and a gentle request to play is much more likely to end up with you getting what you are after."

People can be direct AND polite, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

Your last sentance won't apply to everyone though.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

However much the ladies do or don't like that direct approach they will almost always prefer the polite male.

A few minutes polite conversation and a gentle request to play is much more likely to end up with you getting what you are after.

People can be direct AND polite, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

Your last sentance won't apply to everyone though."

i agree rugby...as i keep saying there are no universal rules...it is about personal choice. Tbh i hate being chatted up,its fake and insincere. Polite conversation is a total turn off for me.

Use body language,social skills and direct observation to judge a situation,rather than generalizations.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"People can be direct AND polite, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

Your last sentance won't apply to everyone though."

I agree you can be direct and polite, but my intention was to emphasise the be polite part, it costs nothing and always puts you in a good light.

If the person you are approaching doesn't fancy you you will not get any further, but you have also been respectful to her.

We are all at clubs to enjoy ourselves, don't spoil someone elses visit by only considering your own desires

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"Great thread this!

Having not been to a club yet it made me wonder if a woman approaches a guy there and asks for a shag?"

Yup. i chat with friends...i shag men i fancy and i ask

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

there seems to be in effect 2 different types of guys and they go about it two different ways...

the good thing about the club I go to locally is that they have different nights to cater for them... i know which night to go for me, and i don't bother going on the others nights.....

the other guys do it in reverse...

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By *habsMan over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"I like the direct approach to be honest.

If we used clubs, I would rather it be direct.

Me too....if guys can't be direct in a swingers club where can they be?

It isn't hard to say 'No thanks', I have said it plenty of times at clubs and parties."

In my early years of swinging I learned one thing: the direct approach gets you slapped. Took a few slaps for me to get the message.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks, a good post, learnt a lot.

I've read the club section because I've never been to one. I'm close to Bristol, can anybody recommend a club for a nervous beginner?"

There is one in Bristol called The Office. Clubs aren't my thing really, so I can't tell you what it's like.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

On the flip side, I have been in Chams as a single man and I was asked to play by a woman I didn't fancy and when I said 'No thank you,' I copped a load of vitriolic verbal from her ending with being called a 'gay wanker'.

It's almost as if single men should be honoured to be asked to play with a woman and crank the old chap up regardless of whether she looks like the back end of a bus or not.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"There were reports of a handful of idiots who moaned about not much action for themselves within a couple of hours after they walked through the door.

sounds familiar!?!?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Actually I'm with pearl on this

I realise that some women may like the direct do you want a fuck attitude

But I myself like to treat ladies as ladies when I first meet them and polite conversation ta start with was my approach style

If after I know them they want rough and ready used and abused then fair enough

But the direct approach in clubs or mails IE fancy a fuck

Is actually a you are a

Piece of meat attitude to me and I'm sorry if that seems old fashioned but that's my personal attitude to swinging

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

ps.. people use this site and clubs for a variety of reasons...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@_abio, fair enough everyone is different but all the OP had to say 'no thanks' and not make a big deal of it as it was for her and to have a moan on the forum here.

This is a storm in a teacup over nothing really!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@_abio, fair enough everyone is different but all the OP had to say 'no thanks' and not make a big deal of it as it was for her and to have a moan on the forum here.

This is a storm in a teacup over nothing really!"

Lol wait a few years when ya been to a few clubs (I see ya been to one so far)

When you have had what we used to refer to as puppies IE groups of single males following you around all night wanting ta shag ya mrs

See what ya answer is then

Ain't been sarky or putting you down in any way shape or form but belive you me you will think differently

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By *umpkinMan over a year ago

near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack!

"Actually I'm with pearl on this

I realise that some women may like the direct do you want a fuck attitude

But I myself like to treat ladies as ladies when I first meet them and polite conversation ta start with was my approach style

If after I know them they want rough and ready used and abused then fair enough

But the direct approach in clubs or mails IE fancy a fuck

Is actually a you are a

Piece of meat attitude to me and I'm sorry if that seems old fashioned but that's my personal attitude to swinging "

This sums it up for me too. I`d sooner miss the chance of fun with a lady by not being outright blunt in my approach rather than losing an incredibly difficult to obtain single male club membership, let alone upsetting ladies who would be absolutely entitled to report you or if you were a member or guest invited by a member by losing your membership here too, assuming of course they hold a membership either at the club or here.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"Actually I'm with pearl on this

I realise that some women may like the direct do you want a fuck attitude

But I myself like to treat ladies as ladies when I first meet them and polite conversation ta start with was my approach style

If after I know them they want rough and ready used and abused then fair enough

But the direct approach in clubs or mails IE fancy a fuck

Is actually a you are a

Piece of meat attitude to me and I'm sorry if that seems old fashioned but that's my personal attitude to swinging

Report you for asking them if they want to swing on a swinging website or at a swingers club?

Hmmmm I best stop asking others on here if they want some mutual fun - I wouldn't want to lose my membership!

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By *hiluk1ukMan over a year ago

Prescot

"@_abio, fair enough everyone is different but all the OP had to say 'no thanks' and not make a big deal of it as it was for her and to have a moan on the forum here.

This is a storm in a teacup over nothing really!

Lol wait a few years when ya been to a few clubs (I see ya been to one so far)

When you have had what we used to refer to as puppies IE groups of single males following you around all night wanting ta shag ya mrs

See what ya answer is then

Ain't been sarky or putting you down in any way shape or form but belive you me you will think differently "

This is very true. I had my first experience at a club on Saturday with a lady that I went with. We were basically followed round all night by single guys, wanting to go in any room that we were in, and if we went in the couples room they went into the _iewing room. We were asked politely by some if we wanted to play which was fine, however, some took to approaching only when I had gone to the bar or toilet and approaching my partner on her own, which she can deal with, but it's still a little cheeky! We had a problem when we started playing in one dark room, word got round within seconds and after about a minute we had 7-8 guys crammed in to the room wanking off, all asking if they could join in, and it felt a bit claustrophobic so we moved out of there. We only had a major problem with one single man who grabbed my partners arm in the jacuzzi to pull her towards him and to sit next to him.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Actually I'm with pearl on this

I realise that some women may like the direct do you want a fuck attitude

But I myself like to treat ladies as ladies when I first meet them and polite conversation ta start with was my approach style

If after I know them they want rough and ready used and abused then fair enough

But the direct approach in clubs or mails IE fancy a fuck

Is actually a you are a

Piece of meat attitude to me and I'm sorry if that seems old fashioned but that's my personal attitude to swinging "

To be fair, asking are you alone and do you fancy some fun isn't the same as " fancy a fuck " and I am not sure why people are twisting what was said.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

PS keep it civil please when you post.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Actually I'm with pearl on this

I realise that some women may like the direct do you want a fuck attitude

But I myself like to treat ladies as ladies when I first meet them and polite conversation ta start with was my approach style

If after I know them they want rough and ready used and abused then fair enough

But the direct approach in clubs or mails IE fancy a fuck

Is actually a you are a

Piece of meat attitude to me and I'm sorry if that seems old fashioned but that's my personal attitude to swinging

Lose your membership for asking for sex ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't actually feel as if I twisted anything I was mearly using the fancy a fuck as an example relating to "oh ya on ya own do you want to get a room"

Ad I said MY personal opinion is simply you talk to a female as you would in a pub for instance not just dive in there

That's the way Ido it and always have

People have THEIR own way

And there may be no right and wrong but I do not feel I was twisting anything

My appologise to anyone that thought that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@_abio, fair enough everyone is different but all the OP had to say 'no thanks' and not make a big deal of it as it was for her and to have a moan on the forum here.

This is a storm in a teacup over nothing really!

Lol wait a few years when ya been to a few clubs (I see ya been to one so far)

When you have had what we used to refer to as puppies IE groups of single males following you around all night wanting ta shag ya mrs

See what ya answer is then

Ain't been sarky or putting you down in any way shape or form but belive you me you will think differently

There are nights, where clubs don`t allow the single chaps in...

Could make it a different experience fer you...

Sure does sound like an awkward moment, when the chap grabbed yer girls arm...not sure my tolerance levels would have been condusive to a serene outcome...

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

However much the ladies do or don't like that direct approach they will almost always prefer the polite male.

A few minutes polite conversation and a gentle request to play is much more likely to end up with you getting what you are after.

People can be direct AND polite, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

Your last sentance won't apply to everyone though.

i agree rugby...as i keep saying there are no universal rules...it is about personal choice. Tbh i hate being chatted up,its fake and insincere. Polite conversation is a total turn off for me.

Use body language,social skills and direct observation to judge a situation,rather than generalizations. "

I missed this one first time around.

Yes Jem , I feel the same way. I would know they were only chatting to get what they wanted, I would rather they cut out the middle man and just asked did we want fun.

As I said previously, there is no right and wrong way to do things , it is just what suits you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is exactly the reason why I/we would never ever go to a club. If I'm going to be watched or pawed, it'll be only with people I have chosen to do so with...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In a club you have to play it by ear so to speak. Some guys will be direct and I have no problem with that. I dont get guys coming up just asking me if i fancy a fuck when im with my partner, but if I go a walk around the club on my own I do get asked. They are usually nice about it, they will say something like, 'you are gorgeous, Id love to get to know you better', then I smile, say thank you very much but Im not playing at the moment, thank you and leave it at that. Mostly it works, I feel Ok, they feel ok, noone is offended.

I have had times when Ive been grabbed and asked to play. I have smiled, said no thanks and gently detached myself. Ive had guys who've held on and not wanted to let me go, then ive pulled back more firmly and just said, excuse me, they let go, I walk away. They are being a bit daft but Im not overly offended by it.

There is a lot of naughtiness and things said in a club that is not acceptable in the outside world. Maybe its cos I go to clubs more than I have private meets so Im used to the behaviour. Ive never been offended by it.

But there are guys that are very pushy and inappropriate, even in a swinging club. There are gits everywhere in life.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

This is exactly the reason why I/we would never ever go to a club. If I'm going to be watched or pawed, it'll be only with people I have chosen to do so with..."

to be fair tho.... the touching of the ladies may have been wrong, bearing in mind we have one side to the story... no offence meant to the person posting it.

but the _iewing and wanking thro the window overlooking a room.. that's why there is a window.

and dark rooms are exactly that.. for people to approach and touch.

am sure there were private rooms for 121 encounters.

single guys there are being dammed if they do and dammed if they don't.....

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By *abioMan over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

This is exactly the reason why I/we would never ever go to a club. If I'm going to be watched or pawed, it'll be only with people I have chosen to do so with..."

see hearing that is a shame... because it is in cases like this when you find out that the biggest impediment for single men is really how other single men behave...

I can see how it can be absolutely imtimidating... and then you wonder why people run for couples only rooms....

the only thing i can say is that not all singles are like that and not all nights are like that.....

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

lady's arm*

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

ps.. they asked to join in..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well..tis just me...but if someone grabbed hold of Sharons arm, and persisted....he wouldnt be swinging fer a very long time..

We prefer a house party...whereby everyone is on the same wavelength....the guys are known to be decent, respectful..witty etc...

That comes thru knowing the peeps over a period of time ...trust is built....adds up to honest, simple fun..

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

for sure, if someone grabbed another person they should be reported..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is exactly the reason why I/we would never ever go to a club. If I'm going to be watched or pawed, it'll be only with people I have chosen to do so with...

to be fair tho.... the touching of the ladies may have been wrong, bearing in mind we have one side to the story... no offence meant to the person posting it.

but the _iewing and wanking thro the window overlooking a room.. that's why there is a window.

and dark rooms are exactly that.. for people to approach and touch.

am sure there were private rooms for 121 encounters.

single guys there are being dammed if they do and dammed if they don't....."

Oh no, I completely understand that that is the purpose of all of those areas and if I chose to do so, that is what would happen, but it's just not my thing-call me a control freak and we do meet single men...bi ones...lol, but it would be too out of my control to be able to relax...or maybe I'd be scared nobody would fancy me...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is exactly the reason why I/we would never ever go to a club. If I'm going to be watched or pawed, it'll be only with people I have chosen to do so with...

see hearing that is a shame... because it is in cases like this when you find out that the biggest impediment for single men is really how other single men behave...

I can see how it can be absolutely imtimidating... and then you wonder why people run for couples only rooms....

the only thing i can say is that not all singles are like that and not all nights are like that.....

Nope ..we mustn`t ferget the decent single chaps..mature and grounded and no complications..

Its always the bums who fuck things up...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It can get intimidating in a dark room or a public playroom or a couples room with a _iewing window. But we are all adults, those rooms are specifically for that purpose. If you dont like being watched, dont go in a room with a _iewing window. Clubs cater for all, not just couples and single women. In fact its the guys who make up a large percentage of their profit, higher fees, more of them.

It must be very difficult as a single guy trying to get the right balance. Sit there like a wallflower waiting for ladies to come and sit next to you and talk about your granny for two hours before asking to play, well I would imagine it wouldnt be a particulary busy night for you. Have the right attitude, respectful but still a little forward, smile a lot, make her laugh, be a bit cheeky, then these are the successful guys.

Like others said, I dont want to be romanced in a club, I am not stupid enough to think it isnt bullshit as a means to an end. I dont want chapter and verse of how sensitive they are.

People need to learn ways of being a little direct and confident, but being polite and well mannered and respectful too, and if necessary say no thanks, but do so in a way that doesnt belittle or make someone feel uneasy.

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By *omcoupleCouple over a year ago

Bristol

there is a good newish club in Bristol

Romeos on an industrial estate in Hengrove in Bristol My fb has been there 3 times and says its well run, friendly and so clean and tidy ...well worth looking at and regular cheap nights ..good hosts too so Im told

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's the single guys that pay the most to keep these clubs running.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why is chatting to someone regarded as bullshit....

As a single chap once...it wasn`t always about the shag....could be I was interested in the gal and her vibe..

Mabye its expectations....I wouldn`t have high expectations entering a club...I`d go fer the crack...

Liasons outside of a club, where never much of a problem..

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I have seen a d*unk bi fem paw and grab str8 females and had to be ejected.

I have seen couples bring in drugs

I have seen a wife tell her hubby she was going on a girls night out and come to the club instead, hubby clicked, came down said he was to join her and kicked the door in of the private room she was playing in..

yup there is bad behaviour from all groupings...

quelle surprise

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is exactly the reason why I/we would never ever go to a club. If I'm going to be watched or pawed, it'll be only with people I have chosen to do so with...

see hearing that is a shame... because it is in cases like this when you find out that the biggest impediment for single men is really how other single men behave...

I can see how it can be absolutely imtimidating... and then you wonder why people run for couples only rooms....

the only thing i can say is that not all singles are like that and not all nights are like that.....

Nope ..we mustn`t ferget the decent single chaps..mature and grounded and no complications..

Its always the bums who fuck things up..."

And the newbies too who don't know the rules, like the guy last night that tried dp without asking if I do anal and kept touching (with his fingers) my friends nuts, not his thing at all so he wasn't happy

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By *entadreadMan over a year ago

Essex

"There were reports of a handful of idiots who moaned about not much action for themselves within a couple of hours after they walked through the door.

i have seen that in clubs and it is one of the things that really irks me.....

and then they ask me what is my secret because i seem to be having a good time....

i just say "i actually talked to them" and walk off....."

Silent assassins,nice term, I call them Zombies, you need eyes at the back of your head to ward them off.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Silent assassins,nice term, I call them Zombies, you need eyes at the back of your head to ward them off.

And a cricket bat?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is exactly the reason why I/we would never ever go to a club. If I'm going to be watched or pawed, it'll be only with people I have chosen to do so with...

see hearing that is a shame... because it is in cases like this when you find out that the biggest impediment for single men is really how other single men behave...

I can see how it can be absolutely imtimidating... and then you wonder why people run for couples only rooms....

the only thing i can say is that not all singles are like that and not all nights are like that.....

Nope ..we mustn`t ferget the decent single chaps..mature and grounded and no complications..

Its always the bums who fuck things up...

Thats true....and I sympathise with yer friend...I`ve had the unwelcome attention, it sure spoils things...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is exactly the reason why I/we would never ever go to a club. If I'm going to be watched or pawed, it'll be only with people I have chosen to do so with...

see hearing that is a shame... because it is in cases like this when you find out that the biggest impediment for single men is really how other single men behave...

I can see how it can be absolutely imtimidating... and then you wonder why people run for couples only rooms....

the only thing i can say is that not all singles are like that and not all nights are like that.....

Nope ..we mustn`t ferget the decent single chaps..mature and grounded and no complications..

Its always the bums who fuck things up...

Thats true....and I sympathise with yer friend...I`ve had the unwelcome attention, it sure spoils things...

Sorry....

I`m trying to do 3 things at once here, and just fired a nessage of..

I should add...its fucking inappropriatte to advance towards you, without asking..more distressing potentially...definitely thinking bout it ...

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

We visit clubs on a regular basis, and although we do like to chat for a bit before we decide if we want to have fun, i certainly wouldn't pull a face of displeasure in any situation, in my opinion that's pretty rude. It sounds like the guy was polite and surely politeness should be reciprocated? Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"@_abio, fair enough everyone is different but all the OP had to say 'no thanks' and not make a big deal of it as it was for her and to have a moan on the forum here.

This is a storm in a teacup over nothing really!"

My original post was posted with good intention, as there had been many posts from peeps asking for advice how to behave in clubs.

I do not believe I am making a storm in a teacup, and a reflection what actually took place in a club last night.

You were not there to witness the event, nor were you involved in the exchanges, so I do not believe you could flatly claim it as a storm in the teacup.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"@_abio, fair enough everyone is different but all the OP had to say 'no thanks' and not make a big deal of it as it was for her and to have a moan on the forum here.

This is a storm in a teacup over nothing really!

My original post was posted with good intention, as there had been many posts from peeps asking for advice how to behave in clubs.

I do not believe I am making a storm in a teacup, and a reflection what actually took place in a club last night.

You were not there to witness the event, nor were you involved in the exchanges, so I do not believe you could flatly claim it as a storm in the teacup.

A genuine question -

Was the guy nasty in the way he asked, or were you just offended that he didn't want to chit chat beforehand?

Not that I am saying chit chat is wrong it's just sometimes others don't do things the way you do.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@OP no, we wouldnt want to witness your show, your post is a moan actually over nothing.

On the funny side, we think you have scared the men off now

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

A genuine question -

Was the guy nasty in the way he asked, or were you just offended that he didn't want to chit chat beforehand?

Not that I am saying chit chat is wrong it's just sometimes others don't do things the way you do.

As I had said before, his approach was not my cup of tea.

Compounded by his later actions/approaches that I had witnessed, I believe I made the right decision to decline him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"@OP no, we wouldnt want to witness your show, your post is a moan actually over nothing.

On the funny side, we think you have scared the men off now

I shall not apologise if my post came across as a moan, as it was not intended as such.

I shall say it again, it was a personal observation of what worked and not worked for me, in the hope that it may help those who need a pointer or two in future.

As for scaring the men off? I do not believe it is only the men that I scare off, on or off FAB!

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

A genuine question -

Was the guy nasty in the way he asked, or were you just offended that he didn't want to chit chat beforehand?

Not that I am saying chit chat is wrong it's just sometimes others don't do things the way you do.

As I had said before, his approach was not my cup of tea.

Compounded by his later actions/approaches that I had witnessed, I believe I made the right decision to decline him.

Cheers for the answer, so it wasn't your cup of tea but he wasn't nasty/ abusive about the way he asked.

We still have a thread though with people thinking that he must have been; he asked, you declined & threw him your face of displeasure and he moved on, the end. Well you would have thought so but still people speculate and say how bad he was for even thinking he might get sex at a swingers club!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

The forums are free for all.

If one does not like the thread contents, one does not need to read or participate.

I repeat, it is a personal observation, and it was posted with good intention.

People are entitled to their own opinions and _iews.

However, some appear to believe their own opinions and _iews matter more than the others.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

The forums are free for all.

If one does not like the thread contents, one does not need to read or participate.

I repeat, it is a personal observation, and it was posted with good intention.

People are entitled to their own opinions and _iews.

However, some appear to believe their own opinions and _iews matter more than the others.

No where did I say I didn't like the content of the thread, I am just putting a different point of _iew across to yours. Whether you like that different point of _iew is entirely up to you.

I will continue to post my _iews as I see fit.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

I feel that manners and treating other people politely should be the norm - in a swinging club or wherever you are, I'd be really offended if some one threw me a 'face of displeasure' in any scenario! Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Life would be very boring if everyone agrees with everyone else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I feel that manners and treating other people politely should be the norm - in a swinging club or wherever you are, I'd be really offended if some one threw me a 'face of displeasure' in any scenario! Z"

I guess not everyone appreciate MY direct approach!

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

"Life would be very boring if everyone agrees with everyone else.

Yes it certainly would! In life there has to be a mix of people, those who know how to behave in any context and those who don't, manners versus no manners, sweet versus sour etc. it's all part of life's very rich tapestry! Z

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wish I had a pound for everytime I've been told to fuck off

It's only displeasurable if she squeezes your bollocks with one hand, and twists your nipple with the other as she says it

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

Wish I had a pound for everytime I've been told to fuck off

It's only displeasurable if she squeezes your bollocks with one hand, and twists your nipple with the other as she says it

lol - I've never felt the need to tell any one to fuck off in a club! and ball squeezing/nipple twisting can be quite nice! Z

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

I guess not everyone appreciate MY direct approach!

"
I have always been quite direct myself Pearl, if it works for you then go with it xxx

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

I guess not everyone appreciate MY direct approach!

I have always been quite direct myself Pearl, if it works for you then go with it xxx"

There's nothing wrong with being direct and I am very direct myself! However, I feel that to pull a disdainful face is quite out of order. To the OP, how would you feel if you approached someone and they didn't want to engage with you and gave a forceful 'no' then pulled a face of displeasure? I know I'd feel pretty upset! Z

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I would not feel upset, just blame myself for choosing my target wrongly, that's all.

Afterall, nothing ventured nothing gained, and I cannot predict how others would react to my unwanted advances.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

"I would not feel upset, just blame myself for choosing my target wrongly, that's all.

Afterall, nothing ventured nothing gained, and I cannot predict how others would react to my unwanted advances.

I applaud your attitude, however, I prefer to be a little kinder to folk myself! Z

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"I would not feel upset, just blame myself for choosing my target wrongly, that's all.

Afterall, nothing ventured nothing gained, and I cannot predict how others would react to my unwanted advances.

Exactly the same as the bloke probably thought last night too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

It does not appear to have deterred him in the slightest, based on what I observed later in the evening.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple over a year ago

Bolton

I have to say that recently we have chatted to quite a few very new people to the scene, single guys and couples, in some clubs and have found that if you actually take the time to interact with them, answer their questions etc they have a good understanding of ettiquette etc - far better than putting some one down, IMHO, we feel that we can have social intercourse even if we don't fancy having sexual intercourse! Z

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By *yrdwomanWoman over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I would not feel upset, just blame myself for choosing my target wrongly, that's all.

Afterall, nothing ventured nothing gained, and I cannot predict how others would react to my unwanted advances.

I applaud your attitude, however, I prefer to be a little kinder to folk myself! Z"

I have to agree with this. When I say no, its with a quick smile, and the guy gets my meaning.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"It does not appear to have deterred him in the slightest, based on what I observed later in the evening.

Why would you saying no to him, even after throwing him your face of displeasure, put him off trying to find fun with others?

Afterall, nothing ventured nothing gained

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Just to show it is not easy to change the spots on a leopard.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"Just to show it is not easy to change the spots on a leopard.

Another genuine question -

Would you change your way of showing displeasure to another similar approach at another time?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Just to show it is not easy to change the spots on a leopard.

Another genuine question -

Would you change your way of showing displeasure to another similar approach at another time? "

Nope, as that is the way I am.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"Just to show it is not easy to change the spots on a leopard.

Another genuine question -

Would you change your way of showing displeasure to another similar approach at another time?

Nope, as that is the way I am.

And that will be the way he is also. Leopards keep their spots for life!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Indeed they do!

I can't help it that I am like Marmite to some.

Likewise he could not help being the way he is.

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

9 hours later and all we have found out is that they let leopards into swingers clubs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

@OP, if it happened again at your next visit in the club, knowing you still act the same as before.

Will we hear another moan again in the forum next day from you?

This thread should be closed, the OP is not going to change and there is nothing to say about it, just unlucky for the chaps to ask her! lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

If the previous poster hang around in the forums long enough, he/she would know I am not a moaner.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@OP, if it happened again at your next visit in the club, knowing you still act the same as before.

Will we hear another moan again in the forum next day from you?

This thread should be closed, the OP is not going to change and there is nothing to say about it, just unlucky for the chaps to ask her! lol"

Don't exactly see the need for personal attacks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry if you see a personal attack so we apologise for it, we will stay out of it, it's going nowhere.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"@OP, if it happened again at your next visit in the club, knowing you still act the same as before.

Will we hear another moan again in the forum next day from you?

This thread should be closed, the OP is not going to change and there is nothing to say about it, just unlucky for the chaps to ask her! lol"

i do find your posts rather rude.

i have met pearl many a time and i assure you she isnt a moaner, in fact the last time i was in her company in the jacuzzi at chams it was awful. i was sitting next to her just chatting and men where touching without being asked. it was such a pain that in the end i got out because they obviously couldnt take a friendly no thanks for a answer. so perhaps i should have gone for the "pearl" attitude and been more firm

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple over a year ago

London

Not read through all the above posts (Just as well sounding from the last one)

At the end of the day, as with anywhere in life, some people on The Scene have better social skills than others.

We had the team up at ourplace4fun the other night on the mixed night. Some greek guy thought the best way to get our womens attention (after 4 seconds of conversation) was to get his cock out and start to pull his pud, which did nothing for them, the guy who actually spent time talking to the girls, (and the rest of us) was the one who actually got lucky.

Says alot really.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not read through all the above posts (Just as well sounding from the last one)

At the end of the day, as with anywhere in life, some people on The Scene have better social skills than others.

Says alot really."

haha is that the name of a new porno....greek pulling pud lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm just surprised that the poor guy is still alive!

I've seen Pearls look of displeasure before- usually over one of my bad jokes and nearly been turned to stone lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm just surprised that the poor guy is still alive!

I've seen Pearls look of displeasure before- usually over one of my bad jokes and nearly been turned to stone lol

You calling me Medusa?!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm just surprised that the poor guy is still alive!

I've seen Pearls look of displeasure before- usually over one of my bad jokes and nearly been turned to stone lol

You calling me Medusa?!

Erm.... but not to your face lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is really difficult at times to judge a situation. Whilst I am pretty direct myself, I would hope I would be polite when declining a guys request to play.

However we do not know exactly how the guy asked, we have an idea of the words he used, but we dont really know how he put those words across.

I think though if you have the approach of being direct and forceful and pulling faces which may be construed as rude, then that is fine if that is your way. But people who do this must expect the same attitude back. Thats why I try not to be rude so I dont cause a possible conflict situation. Most of us would do our upmost to avoid any bad feeling.

People, if treated rudely, will respond in kind and thats to be expected. Theres not many who would shrivel up and hide in a corner. Sometimes you have to try and quell the urge to show distain, we all want a win win situation where noone feels put out, as it can escalate to abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Of course my _iewpoint is not directed at the OPs situation, as I cant comment on that, I didnt see the interaction.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"I'm just surprised that the poor guy is still alive!

I've seen Pearls look of displeasure before- usually over one of my bad jokes and nearly been turned to stone lol

You calling me Medusa?!

Erm.... but not to your face lol

You are too kind!

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

the beach party was my first visit to chameleons, though i'm not a club newbie. I had a fantastic time and even stayed around for bi night tonight. But i have to say that even though the atmosphere was fantastic i have never had so many instances where guys have grabbed me without any invitation or even chat first. I have no problem with the direct approach - i'm a very direct woman! But hands grabbing my arse as i walk up the stairs, stroking my breasts as i pass people in the corridors and even feeling my tits or thighs when i'm engrossed in play with another guy! And as for the man who appeared from nowhere and tried to put his cock in my mouth when i was enjoying some one on one fun with a friend! Any verbal approach can be declined civilly. But this kind of handsy behaviour is, in my opinion, way out of order. The club i usually frequent would boot people out for this kind of thing and though i am very confident and not afraid to say no this was the only downside to a fantastic visit. So, single guys - who btw i love and are all i play with! Take note: always ask first, give us the chance to say yes, no, maybe later... I am always going to be more receptive to a guy who tells me he is having a hard time resisting my ass as he climbs the stairs behind me - catch me at the right moment and i may well let you have a grope! But please, ask first!

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"@OP, if it happened again at your next visit in the club, knowing you still act the same as before.

Will we hear another moan again in the forum next day from you?

This thread should be closed, the OP is not going to change and there is nothing to say about it, just unlucky for the chaps to ask her! lol"

They have left,but i feel the need to say that no one shud ever post to have their _iews changed...what kind of forum wud that be

Pearl has her way, i have mine,the great thing is swinging accommodates us both!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i understand that people want a little conversation and a little bit of socialising and that is great however i must point out that it is a swinging club and mot a church social and for the record i do look around when i have been in a club and watched a cpl in a _iewing room but if anyone every said no or stop whatever i was doing i would im a respectful adult

i must point out that once you enter an open play area or a _iewing room ppl will watch and if you dont like to be watched get one of the private rooms all good clubs have but if your in an open room dont moan if ppl watch or ask to join in if they ask they using their manners so ppl use yours and say NO THANKS NICELY

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have to agree with Temptingdevil that their did seem to be a lot more of the 'hands on' approach at a social than their would be on a normal club night. People who interact on a forum may think that the rules don't apply to them and that as we are all fab members, communicate via the forum and attended the beach party, that we had therefore 'did away' with the usual manners and assume that people are fair game. Perhaps people thought that as they had spoken on the forum, that they had indeed already got to know someone and therefore move onto 'second base' without the preliminaries was acceptable.

I'm certainly not prudish and lots of people, women as well as men, had a quick fondle of my boobs in a jokey way. I myself had a fondle of a certain lady's shell bra and fondled a sexy guys smooth ass and even signed my name on a guys ass. A lot of the things we do at socials are fun silly things and I'm not offended by any of that.

So maybe because of the nature of the forum. Banter, guys felt more inclined to be a little more direct, a little more touchy feely than usual.

I have to point out that the vodka punch was free flowing and it was strong. I don't drink but I managed half a cup and that was enough. Those who were driving wouldn't have b een drinking it either. But those who were taking their fill of alcohol would obviously have been affected. We know the effect of alcohol, louder behaviour, inhibitions lowered, speech becomes slightly less appropriate, people lose a little control - that would have been a factor.

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By *empting Devil.Woman over a year ago

Sheffield

after reading the above post and the new thread i felt the need to add further clarification. I have no issue at all with the 'silent army'. Both at the beach party and at bi night all my playing at chameleons was in public rooms. In all cases the choice of room was ultimately mine, in a couple of instances i changed the venue from uh original suggestion to another because i wanted a quieter/cooler room. In all cases of being watched the only annoyances were the uninvited guys who climbed on the bed and who began touching/pushing cocks against my mouth/asking my friend not me if they could dip their wick! The watchers behaved with decorum and didn't intrude. They saved vocal appreciation, and in one case a round of applause, for after the event and it was very nice to receive compliments and appreciation from them. My only advice then, and this goes out to just the watchers amongst you - the uninvited have already been discussed - is don't heckle, cheerlead or criticise during the performance. If you're moving to get a better _iew try to do so quietly so as not to distract. And if you do like to pass comment during, stay outside by a window rather than doing so from the foot of the bed. And may i say again to my appreciative audiences of the last two nights awwww shucks guys i do like a compliment!

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By *adchickCouple over a year ago

Cyprus

You lot wanna think yourselves lucky.

I was at the Beach Party and no one approached me for sex at all.

And...... I'm not joking!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We're behind Pearl on this one.

A "fancy a fuck" type question is very demeaning, like your a piece of meat.

There is a way of being direct without being so vulgar. "Hi there, I really like you, would you be interested in playing later?" It allows for you to get chatting, or a maybe, lets chat for now type scenario.

It so much more respectable whilst being to the point.

Single guys would get a far better rap, if they were polite in their manners, which many aren't.

We no longer go to clubs were single guys are allowed, because of so many that have no respect.. and think its ok to talk so rudely and touch without asking.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is exactly the reason why I/we would never ever go to a club. If I'm going to be watched or pawed, it'll be only with people I have chosen to do so with...

see hearing that is a shame... because it is in cases like this when you find out that the biggest impediment for single men is really how other single men behave...

I can see how it can be absolutely imtimidating... and then you wonder why people run for couples only rooms....

the only thing i can say is that not all singles are like that and not all nights are like that.....

Nope ..we mustn`t ferget the decent single chaps..mature and grounded and no complications..

Its always the bums who fuck things up...

Thats true....and I sympathise with yer friend...I`ve had the unwelcome attention, it sure spoils things...

Sorry....

I`m trying to do 3 things at once here, and just fired a nessage of..

I should add...its fucking inappropriatte to advance towards you, without asking..more distressing potentially...definitely thinking bout it ..."

Its okay I knew what you meant. He did ask my friend first if he could play with me, then asked me. It was when he came behind me that things fell apart and my friends rock hard cock shrivelled completely

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By *b430Man over a year ago

Tayside

"We're behind Pearl on this one.

A "fancy a fuck" type question is very demeaning, like your a piece of meat.

It so much more respectable whilst being to the point.

Single guys would get a far better rap, if they were polite in their manners, which many aren't.

We no longer go to clubs were single guys are allowed, because of so many that have no respect.. and think its ok to talk so rudely and touch without asking.

There was no "fancy a fuck" type question, everyone is reading into this way too deeply, as the OP said herself "he suggests for us to get a room and have some fun" she said no, he moved on - The end.

And in answer to my questions, she has said he wasn't nasty in any way at all when he asked it.

It was a night at a Swingers Club and if people can't ask others for sex at the Club then what's the point of the Club?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Is there a parrot in here?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

as a natural subbie i find it hard to just ask so often sit waiting and making polite chat , but then the other guys walk in say 'wanna fuck' and off they go with the ladies ,

ohhh well will wait for a kind hearted lady to take me under her wing and deal with me , xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We're behind Pearl on this one.

A "fancy a fuck" type question is very demeaning, like your a piece of meat.

It so much more respectable whilst being to the point.

Single guys would get a far better rap, if they were polite in their manners, which many aren't.

We no longer go to clubs were single guys are allowed, because of so many that have no respect.. and think its ok to talk so rudely and touch without asking.

And in answer to my questions, she has said he wasn't nasty in any way at all when he asked it.

It was a night at a Swingers Club and if people can't ask others for sex at the Club then what's the point of the Club?

try being a girl, being asked that question 20-30 times a night, with single guys butting others coversations and thinking they can feel when they want, say what they want when its a "sex club". Yes it may be a sex club, but if us girls are interested we'll say so.

Single guys need to learn, just because were in a sex club, doesn't make it ok and for you to assume everyone wants sex with "you". Some are interested in couples or girls only.

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

where in Pearl's original post does it mention single guy? and not the husband/partner of a couple.

of course, the result is the same

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

just goes to show that there is no one size fits all approach

no matter what your approach sooner or later you're likely to 'offend' someone you are interested in

that's the thing i like about the men only sauna's

no socialising and not a lot of talking (pre-shag at least).

plenty of eye contact and a smile if interested, averted eye contact and a move away if not.

any attempt to touch, just knock their hand away if not interested and let um keep at it if you are interested.

animalistic i guess but far less pissin about and no worry about 'how do i approach this ?'

i've had my hand knocked away loadsa times and have similarly knocked other peoples hands away on more occasions than i care to mention.

gotta say, the idea of going to a mixed club scares the living daylights outta me

not because i would behave like i do in a men only situation, but moreover coz i wouldn't know where to start if someone caught my eye

this forum has done nothing to allay my fears, just led to further confusion

so thanks for that folks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We're behind Pearl on this one.

A "fancy a fuck" type question is very demeaning, like your a piece of meat.

It so much more respectable whilst being to the point.

Single guys would get a far better rap, if they were polite in their manners, which many aren't.

We no longer go to clubs were single guys are allowed, because of so many that have no

respect.. and think its ok to talk so rudely and touch without asking.

There was no "fancy a fuck" type question, everyone is reading into this way too deeply, as the OP said herself "he suggests for us to get a

room and have some fun" she said no, he moved on - The end.

And in answer to my questions, she has said he wasn't nasty in any way at all when he asked it.

It was a night at a Swingers Club and if people can't ask others for sex at the Club then what's the point of the Club?

No there wasn't I was just coparing the two situations as being simalar in my opinion

But that's just the way I see it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For Gods sake you all went to a Swingers Club not a convention on etiquette.

It is a sexy environment and single guys are around - think biology, think human nature and get off the high horse before you fall off.

We have been going to Clubs for years single nights and couples nights and NEVER had a problem that a look or a friendly word didn't put right.

Just think about where you are and either have some tolerance or be as direct in return as they are being with you - it's not difficult.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i went to club the other night was in an open play room and touched a ladies arm to ask if i could do more and lets say she moved away real quick so i left her alone and moved out the room till they had finished so i was not seen as being pushy i ask another lady earlier in the night and had got a yes please do all the wanking fellas looked shocked lol just ask and talk fellas and you will get some

all those wanking guys missed out because they could not ask have lots confidence talk to ppl interact be pleasant and dont be pushy and when you go to the play rooms you might getr some and if not relax you will get the hang of it

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By *ibrosMan over a year ago

harrow

At clubs I try to talk first and think about sex later. I suspect I'm in the group that are not pushy or direct when it comes to asking to play. Having read some of the above, I am encouraged to try a more direct approach and see how that is received.

My take on asking whether the lady is there alone, isn't to identify 'prey'. The answer helps direct where the conversation goes next.

If I am talking to a lady there with her partner, I am going to ask at some point if they play with single guys or only with couples. And if the lady is alone, I may well ask her the same question.

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