FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > the expectation and the reality
the expectation and the reality
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
"The man who says he has experience of, and a high level of ability in, domination. The reality is that he thinks domination is about being nasty and abusive." I agree with that totally,theres a lot of those on here  | |||
 | |||
 | |||
| |||
 | |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"The man who says he has experience of, and a high level of ability in, domination. The reality is that he thinks domination is about being nasty and abusive." Been there  | |||
| |||
| |||
"The expectation/ideal scenario You receive a polite e mail with a clear face picture attached from a guy who has clearly read your profile and is within your age range and is fairly local to you. He is verified genuine, has plenty of good clear, recent pictures and has also returned his verifications – this is very important. His profile states that he is single, can accommodate/will provide or go halves on a hotel, he likes the same things as you, he is not bi, sub, dom, and he doesn’t do pain blood or poo. You swap msn addys and chat online for a while, you cam just to verify that you are genuine, you swap phone numbers and arrange to meet for a drink. He arrives on time, he is clean and has clearly made an effort, he is smart and smells good. You chat for a while, talk about your likes and dislikes, you get on very well, both want the same thing – nsa fun. And so you arrange a play meet soon after. He stays in touch until the day of your meet, when he confirms that he is still available and is looking forward to playing with you. You spend the afternoon getting ready, shaving, showering, make up hair, nails, clothes, underwear etc. you leave in plenty of time, furnished with condoms and lube. You arrive in good time and are greeted at the door by a fresh looking, sweet smelling horny man who is about to show you a very good time. You start kissing in the hallway because you are so horny for each other and the fun is taken to the bedroom, where he proves to be a clean enthusiastic repeat performer who is not afraid to explore a womans body and fully satisfy her. Not only does he provide condoms but he is happy to wear them and can perform in them. You have a drink and a chat and decide to keep in touch and arrange another meet soon. Now girls if the above happens to you, you have met a true gem on here and you should feel very very lucky as the reality – most of the time if far different. The reality In reality it rarely runs that smoothly, in my experience I have met men who use old pictures and I mean decades old, these particular men either don’t have msn or their cam has broken!! Then there is the young guy who is all over you like a rash until you meet – you have fantastic sex – though you realise after that you did all the work!! After this – probably his first meet, you will not hear from him again for weeks because he thinks he is now gods gift, and that you are clearly in love with him because you are older and you sucked his cock!! In a few weeks it will dawn on him that in fact he was onto a good thing with you and he will do his best to get back into your pants, my advise is steer clear, or if he is particularly good give him another go but be aware that the same thing will keep repeating itself, I know this because I have been there – I am a very gullible woman and cannot resist a pretty boy!! Then there is the married guy, he will be in touch when he sees you online, he can only arrange brief meets at short notice, he cannot accommodate and will turn up in his leathers and perform once for and expect you to feel grateful that he made the effort to get to you. He will insist on no kissing or perfume because he won’t want wifey smelling you on him, he will want a shower before he goes – either that or he will wipe his cock on your curtains. He will not provide condoms as he didn’t have time to stop at the garage on the way or if he did he only had enough time to rinse his cock in the gents – these guys will expect you to be available to them at the drop of a hat and they rarely verify you. There are also attached guys who think it is not cheating if they just let you give them a bj!! Then there is Mr it’s all in my head, he is the one who will want cyber, text, phone sex with you, he will arrange meet after meet but always cancel at the last minute – if your lucky – otherwise he just won’t show and will come up with some elaborate excuse afterwards and when he wants more cyber sex from you. Personally I can’t be doing with these types and delete them very soon. Then there is Mr cling, he thinks that because you had good sex together that you are secretly in love with him and don’t really want to have sex with other men, he will be in contact constantly and will want the full rundown of all your activities and he will be gutted if you admit that you do see other men, he will at the very least expect you to tell him that he is your favourite and to see him at least twice a week, these guys can seem sweet but in reality they are a pain in the arse and you are probably better off without them. Then there is the serial shagger, he would shag a frog if it stopped hopping!! He is probably very good in the sack, he turns up on time, after confirming just when you thought he had blown you out!! He looks and smells good, usually but not always has a big cock, he is a repeat performer, in between checking his phone for text messages from his harem, he will compliment you and he will verify you, he will then expect you to inform all your mates as to how good he is and want you to arrange meets for him with every female you know, preferably all at the same time!! Next is Mr guilt trip, he will say he isn’t married, but when it actually comes to performing, he can’t because his guilt at cheating on wifey has got the better of him!! He will want to wear 2 condoms and not kiss or hug you in case he goes home smelling of you. These guys are best avoided, they do sometimes contact you again once they realise they have gotten away with it!! But usually they go home unfulfilled and delete their profiles which frankly makes you feel like a failure – which is far from the truth. We must not forget Mr stud, he looks fantastic in his pics and is very eager to meet you, when he does he is probably not quite as toned as his pics implied and is a good 3 inches shorter, he will perform very well until it comes to putting on a condom - which he conveniently forget by the way – at this point he will either expect you to go bare back or he will try to shag you and pump away until the cows come home until eventually you either finish him off orally or he wanks onto your tits! Now I know some ladies don’t mind this and I am not knocking you for it, but one of my pet hates is a guy who can’t cum in a condom!! It drives me mad and makes me feel inadequate. I have also experiences the Adonis, he is the guy who looks just like a model, beautiful in every way, he is worth a meet just to look at!! You meet him and are eager to please him – which he lets you do , you are then told oh god is that the time, so sorry baby I need to be somewhere, I definitely owe you one, next time we meet I am going to make you cum sooo hard!! In reality he will text you at 1 am – when he has realised no one else is awake - and ask if you fancy popping round to give him a bj. He will never actually get round to giving you what he owes you and what you deserve, so unless you really can’t resist his good looks and cracking cock I suggest you give him a wide berth, it will just frustrate you otherwise. All of the above is based on experiences that I have had. " nice little group of fuckdo? characters, anyone for a game ... in the shower with a cucumber? | |||
"What a fab post on the forum... and yes i know where your coming from made me smile about the young men ,, lol god its lovely when you meet one that tick all the boxes .. xxx well done for this post here one of the best i have seen on a forum xx jo" Oh yes I wholeheartedly agree that when you do meet a good one it is well worth all the effort here here to the good guys on fab!!!! | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Thank you everyone for your comments, and i have to agree that there could be a list equally as varied for the women on this site!! however all the ladies I have met/know on here have had similar experiences to me. and well done to sprite for managing to out the slackers at an early stage - do you have any tips?? lol. Im not having a bad day I have been thinking about this for a while and have only just had the time to put fingers to keyboard "no tips, i've just been damn lucky i think... my time will come i'm sure of it lol xx | |||
"The expectation/ideal scenario You receive a polite e mail with a clear face picture attached from a guy who has clearly read your profile and is within your age range and is fairly local to you. He is verified genuine, has plenty of good clear, recent pictures and has also returned his verifications – this is very important. His profile states that he is single, can accommodate/will provide or go halves on a hotel, he likes the same things as you, he is not bi, sub, dom, and he doesn’t do pain blood or poo. You swap msn addys and chat online for a while, you cam just to verify that you are genuine, you swap phone numbers and arrange to meet for a drink. He arrives on time, he is clean and has clearly made an effort, he is smart and smells good. You chat for a while, talk about your likes and dislikes, you get on very well, both want the same thing – nsa fun. And so you arrange a play meet soon after. He stays in touch until the day of your meet, when he confirms that he is still available and is looking forward to playing with you. You spend the afternoon getting ready, shaving, showering, make up hair, nails, clothes, underwear etc. you leave in plenty of time, furnished with condoms and lube. You arrive in good time and are greeted at the door by a fresh looking, sweet smelling horny man who is about to show you a very good time. You start kissing in the hallway because you are so horny for each other and the fun is taken to the bedroom, where he proves to be a clean enthusiastic repeat performer who is not afraid to explore a womans body and fully satisfy her. Not only does he provide condoms but he is happy to wear them and can perform in them. You have a drink and a chat and decide to keep in touch and arrange another meet soon. Now girls if the above happens to you, you have met a true gem on here and you should feel very very lucky as the reality – most of the time if far different. The reality In reality it rarely runs that smoothly, in my experience I have met men who use old pictures and I mean decades old, these particular men either don’t have msn or their cam has broken!! Then there is the young guy who is all over you like a rash until you meet – you have fantastic sex – though you realise after that you did all the work!! After this – probably his first meet, you will not hear from him again for weeks because he thinks he is now gods gift, and that you are clearly in love with him because you are older and you sucked his cock!! In a few weeks it will dawn on him that in fact he was onto a good thing with you and he will do his best to get back into your pants, my advise is steer clear, or if he is particularly good give him another go but be aware that the same thing will keep repeating itself, I know this because I have been there – I am a very gullible woman and cannot resist a pretty boy!! Then there is the married guy, he will be in touch when he sees you online, he can only arrange brief meets at short notice, he cannot accommodate and will turn up in his leathers and perform once for and expect you to feel grateful that he made the effort to get to you. He will insist on no kissing or perfume because he won’t want wifey smelling you on him, he will want a shower before he goes – either that or he will wipe his cock on your curtains. He will not provide condoms as he didn’t have time to stop at the garage on the way or if he did he only had enough time to rinse his cock in the gents – these guys will expect you to be available to them at the drop of a hat and they rarely verify you. There are also attached guys who think it is not cheating if they just let you give them a bj!! Then there is Mr it’s all in my head, he is the one who will want cyber, text, phone sex with you, he will arrange meet after meet but always cancel at the last minute – if your lucky – otherwise he just won’t show and will come up with some elaborate excuse afterwards and when he wants more cyber sex from you. Personally I can’t be doing with these types and delete them very soon. Then there is Mr cling, he thinks that because you had good sex together that you are secretly in love with him and don’t really want to have sex with other men, he will be in contact constantly and will want the full rundown of all your activities and he will be gutted if you admit that you do see other men, he will at the very least expect you to tell him that he is your favourite and to see him at least twice a week, these guys can seem sweet but in reality they are a pain in the arse and you are probably better off without them. Then there is the serial shagger, he would shag a frog if it stopped hopping!! He is probably very good in the sack, he turns up on time, after confirming just when you thought he had blown you out!! He looks and smells good, usually but not always has a big cock, he is a repeat performer, in between checking his phone for text messages from his harem, he will compliment you and he will verify you, he will then expect you to inform all your mates as to how good he is and want you to arrange meets for him with every female you know, preferably all at the same time!! Next is Mr guilt trip, he will say he isn’t married, but when it actually comes to performing, he can’t because his guilt at cheating on wifey has got the better of him!! He will want to wear 2 condoms and not kiss or hug you in case he goes home smelling of you. These guys are best avoided, they do sometimes contact you again once they realise they have gotten away with it!! But usually they go home unfulfilled and delete their profiles which frankly makes you feel like a failure – which is far from the truth. We must not forget Mr stud, he looks fantastic in his pics and is very eager to meet you, when he does he is probably not quite as toned as his pics implied and is a good 3 inches shorter, he will perform very well until it comes to putting on a condom - which he conveniently forget by the way – at this point he will either expect you to go bare back or he will try to shag you and pump away until the cows come home until eventually you either finish him off orally or he wanks onto your tits! Now I know some ladies don’t mind this and I am not knocking you for it, but one of my pet hates is a guy who can’t cum in a condom!! It drives me mad and makes me feel inadequate. I have also experiences the Adonis, he is the guy who looks just like a model, beautiful in every way, he is worth a meet just to look at!! You meet him and are eager to please him – which he lets you do , you are then told oh god is that the time, so sorry baby I need to be somewhere, I definitely owe you one, next time we meet I am going to make you cum sooo hard!! In reality he will text you at 1 am – when he has realised no one else is awake - and ask if you fancy popping round to give him a bj. He will never actually get round to giving you what he owes you and what you deserve, so unless you really can’t resist his good looks and cracking cock I suggest you give him a wide berth, it will just frustrate you otherwise. All of the above is based on experiences that I have had. " Brilliant post and spot on too | |||
| |||
I've only had "bad" experiences when I've ignored my inner voice! | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"me and sausage have shared many a story and gripe and giggle since i joined fab and discovered we have a mutual playmate. she has been a friend and a swinging mentor for me, for which i will be forever grateful. she's a wondeful, friendly woman who does get more than her fair share of twats so kudos to her for sticking it out for the good'uns on here x" Thanks honey!!! mwah xx | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
 | |||
"Oi!.. blokes aren't like that.. or are they? "God thay so are LIKE THIS,,,,,, this letter should be there on tips for swingers on this site lol Things to look out for and you may come across. I was thinking some man may do a letter like this about the woman. All i know is she got it so right x ITS A 10/10 | |||
Mercedesx | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"i would actually like to see the guy version of this just for comparison! xx" Now that would also be intresting to read lol :D | |||
| |||
"I think single men have a hard enough time getting meets without alienating everybody with their version of events Although for one i would love to hear... " they would just be saying there side of how things are same as us single girls! and a couples one would be good too its good to get an insight!! x | |||
| |||
| |||
"Couples, trust us you don't want to hear it... Some of our experiences are so bad they are funny" Go on please give us a couples version. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"What a fantastic post! I started to write a single guys version as a response but bottled out when I started to read it back lol......don't think it would go down well" ohh please do i would love to read it x | |||
"What a fantastic post! I started to write a single guys version as a response but bottled out when I started to read it back lol......don't think it would go down well" Oh do do!!! Would LOVE to read it x | |||
| |||
 you sound very polite and full of good manners | |||
"hi ladies,i use the term very loosely,believe me.this is the 3rd time myself and my partner have been on here and this week alone on the same day i was let down by a female from edinburgh(married) and then at night 9PM ish a couple from dunfermline never turned up,time waster`s and they were`nt men,and i just happen to be allergic to perfume scented anything so to me a woman or man that splatter`s perfume all over the place obviously stink`s down below so they need it to mask the stink of B.O. i am alway`s polite and proper when messaging a female and yet they still dont answer,that is nothing short of pure bad manner`s and we get you`se saying that you are slim etc.etc. when clearly in the pic`s they are FAT!! YUK!!  "Is this supposed to be an example of "polite and proper"? | |||
"hi ladies,i use the term very loosely,believe me.this is the 3rd time myself and my partner have been on here and this week alone on the same day i was let down by a female from edinburgh(married) and then at night 9PM ish a couple from dunfermline never turned up,time waster`s and they were`nt men,and i just happen to be allergic to perfume scented anything so to me a woman or man that splatter`s perfume all over the place obviously stink`s down below so they need it to mask the stink of B.O. i am alway`s polite and proper when messaging a female and yet they still dont answer,that is nothing short of pure bad manner`s and we get you`se saying that you are slim etc.etc. when clearly in the pic`s they are FAT!! YUK!!
Is this supposed to be an example of "polite and proper"?"yes, my thoughts exactly. Fat - Yuk. Fat people can lose weight my dear, rude people rarely change their spots! | |||
"hi ladies,i use the term very loosely,believe me.this is the 3rd time myself and my partner have been on here and this week alone on the same day i was let down by a female from edinburgh(married) and then at night 9PM ish a couple from dunfermline never turned up,time waster`s and they were`nt men,and i just happen to be allergic to perfume scented anything so to me a woman or man that splatter`s perfume all over the place obviously stink`s down below so they need it to mask the stink of B.O. i am alway`s polite and proper when messaging a female and yet they still dont answer,that is nothing short of pure bad manner`s and we get you`se saying that you are slim etc.etc. when clearly in the pic`s they are FAT!! YUK!!" How lovely | |||
| |||
Thanks for the giggle xxx | |||
"hi ladies,i use the term very loosely, believe me." I would use the term gentleman loosely as you appear to have started off by slating ALL women on here, unfounded of course. "this is the 3rd time myself and my partner have been on here" You are on as a single man........ Partner? oh dear. "and this week alone on the same day i was let down by a female from edinburgh(married)" Serves you right for having no morals and meeting married and cheatings. and 'i'? surely, if you have a partner that should be 'we'? Oh, I forgot, you are on as a single man. " and then at night 9PM ish a couple from dunfermline never turned up," Have they given you an explanation or have they gone off meeting you for some reason? "time waster`s and they were`nt men," Yes.... couples and women time waste but in general, its the single (or married) male that is the time waster purely cus they see swinging as an easy shag, then bottle it or have to go home to the wife. (generalising here of course) "and i just happen to be allergic to perfume scented anything so to me a woman or man that splatter`s perfume all over the place obviously stink`s down below so they need it to mask the stink of B.O." You are a real charmer, aren't you!! What has that got to do with people not turning up? Or... maybe..... it's got everything to do with it. Ie, are you coming over this obnoxious to your future meets? in which case....... I can't see them wanting to meet you. "i am alway`s polite and proper" Not from the evidence above you aren't. " when messaging a female and yet they still dont answer,that is nothing short of pure bad manner`s" It's not bad manners........ it's choice. You don't answer all your junk mail do you? That's your choice. No one can be forced to answer all their mail...... including yours! "and we get you`se saying that you are slim etc.etc. when clearly in the pic`s they are FAT!! YUK!!" Have you finished ranting now? I am sure we can't all live up to your perfect expectations...... but there is no need to be that rude or obnoxious to anyone, let along as a sweeping statement on the forums. I would suggest, that the people you were meant to meet have had a lucky escape and maybe, until you learn to grow up, swinging is not the hobby that you should be delving into. Constructive critisism....... but waiting for the backlash! | |||
| |||
"hi ladies,i use the term very loosely,believe me.this is the 3rd time myself and my partner have been on here and this week alone on the same day i was let down by a female from edinburgh(married) and then at night 9PM ish a couple from dunfermline never turned up,time waster`s and they were`nt men,and i just happen to be allergic to perfume scented anything so to me a woman or man that splatter`s perfume all over the place obviously stink`s down below so they need it to mask the stink of B.O. i am alway`s polite and proper when messaging a female and yet they still dont answer,that is nothing short of pure bad manner`s and we get you`se saying that you are slim etc.etc. when clearly in the pic`s they are FAT!! YUK!!" men in thongs.... is it the cheesewire pant causing your anxiety. with a loose fitting boxer you will be giddy with excitement. and possible a tad more pleasant. | |||
| |||
| |||
"Dammit - I'm in that list! (runs and hides...). .. when's the female variety coming? I can't wait "oh yes please do one!! i would love to read it!! | |||
"hi ladies,i use the term very loosely,believe me.this is the 3rd time myself and my partner have been on here and this week alone on the same day i was let down by a female from edinburgh(married) and then at night 9PM ish a couple from dunfermline never turned up,time waster`s and they were`nt men,and i just happen to be allergic to perfume scented anything so to me a woman or man that splatter`s perfume all over the place obviously stink`s down below so they need it to mask the stink of B.O. i am alway`s polite and proper when messaging a female and yet they still dont answer,that is nothing short of pure bad manner`s and we get you`se saying that you are slim etc.etc. when clearly in the pic`s they are FAT!! YUK!!
Is this supposed to be an example of "polite and proper"?
yes, my thoughts exactly. Fat - Yuk. Fat people can lose weight my dear, rude people rarely change their spots!"well said cheeky!! and hey each to their own, and i have absolutly no doubt that there are women and couples on here who waste time, but having had no experience of that I can only comment on the men | |||
| |||
"What a fantastic post! I started to write a single guys version as a response but bottled out when I started to read it back lol......don't think it would go down well Oh do do!!! Would LOVE to read it x" First part of a response has been written, please remember it's just a light hearted read! If it stays in the light hearted spirit, I'll write a meet 'part' from the perspective of each of the types of single guy listed in the authors post. | |||
"What a fantastic post! I started to write a single guys version as a response but bottled out when I started to read it back lol......don't think it would go down well Oh do do!!! Would LOVE to read it x First part of a response has been written, please remember it's just a light hearted read! If it stays in the light hearted spirit, I'll write a meet 'part' from the perspective of each of the types of single guy listed in the authors post. " Thank you I look forward to reading that xx | |||
| |||
| |||
"Sausage - what a brilliant article!! Just read it again for the 4th time and laughed my sox off xx" Thank you, | |||
"lmfaoooooooooo.. round of applause babe...thats the funniest (but very true) thing ive ever read... i was bored rigid till i read this.. thanks xx "Thank you!! ha ha love it!!! | |||
| |||
"lot to be said about couples on here too you know...the things we have been told, the escuses re phones and photos and more,the mishaps when meeting, all sorts...and to be honest this is so simple, a couple of piccies ,a phone call or two and meet for some sexy fun. SIMPLES !!!! youd think." Oh yes i agree it should be simple, I would be intere4sted to read a couples version of my post, Blackspice has done a reply - which was an eye opener for me, and he has also done a female version, a very interesting read. | |||
| |||
| |||
"fab, just saw this. very, very good. you missed the ones who instantly want to create a couple profile... a golden passport for more meets for him." Ah yes your right about that one, he comes in under serial shagger, and I do not mean someone who dips his cock in his cornflakes LOL | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"The original poster writes a remarkable true life experience. Such a pity she is no longer a registered member ..very intelligent, witty and sure brought swinging into reality very thought provoking post indeed " It was written by a friend of ours who hung up her swinging corset and deleted her profile mainly because of meeting too many of the guys listed in the reality part of her profile. I'm still in touch with her and see her socially occasionally and I'm sure she will be tickled to learn that this posting has reemerged to such critical acclaim!! | |||
"Who wrote this post - it is brill "You should have realised it was Granny Crumpet completely her own style and very much missed | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Who wrote this post - it is brill
You should have realised it was Granny Crumpet completely her own style and very much missed"Well thats why I asked, because I had seen various other people suggesting it was Sausage Jockey and then your post saying it was Granny. I never knew Sausage Jockey, but on reading this thread, I wish I had joined fab earlier so I had the pleasure | |||
| |||
 | |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"Interesting but it sounds a little bitter though I wonder if anyone has bothered to write a equivalent from a male POV " Actually I wouldn't say its bitter at all. A touch sweeping at times but entertaining, unlike most single male threads. Would be funny to flip it around but as long as it was as well thought out as this one !
Steve | |||
| |||
"Interesting but it sounds a little bitter though I wonder if anyone has bothered to write a equivalent from a male POV " I did write a single man version as a response at the time. | |||
