FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Messages and profiles getting worse.
Messages and profiles getting worse.
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By *entenTea OP Couple 5 weeks ago
Buckley North Wales |
Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity. |
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"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity."
Lot of big words in that last chapter haha.
Us single men aren't all the same don't get too down on us  |
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By *enelope2UWoman 5 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
I've been ghosted twice this month and it's just the 7th.. it's a shit show
Unless you're fucking for drugs/money/ or to be cum buckets then you stand no chance of being taken seriously on here..
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"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity."
We find the same with messages from couples profiles (though the messages likely come from the Man). |
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Wife has recently decided to give this up as it was too hard to find people with an element of decorum.
Most guys we met seemed to be straight off a building site and most couples our age seemed to be overweight Wetherspoon types. Nothing like the manners or class of our vanilla friends. There are exceptions but hard to find those. |
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I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone |
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I think this applies to fab in general, not just single guys. I get one word messages from couples like "hi" or "now", look at the profile, no info whatsoever just "will fill this later". I ignore them and then get a follow up message with abuse about being arrogant lier🤣 |
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I find it so frustrating at times that when you do put the effort into a message ( and I do read the profile before messaging so as to try and pick up on something we have in common) only to it either not being ready, or read and no reply. The latest thing I find to be quite common is to have a perfectly good conversation with someone over a couple of days to then get ghosted without explaining. Yes I know people will bang the drum quoting that we don't have to give any explanation, but I was brought up on manners and politeness, common decency. So your post does go both ways OP . After around 3 plus years and god knows how many unread or deleted messages you just become numb to it. There are some amazing single guys on this platform, but we are unfortunately tarred and feathered by the same brush because of the few. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
In a way I like bad profiles and messages.
They're a useful filter. It's easy to spot a lack of effort, tap that little block button and ensure they never cross your path again.
It also cuts down on the volume of messages coming in.
If there was a requirement for all to photo verify, have a set number of photos and a minimum profile word count it would be much harder to separate the good from the bad.
Be careful what you wish for......🤷♂️ |
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Filters people, filters.
Use them wisely they're there to make your use of the site easier and to allow you some respite from the messages you don't like.
Set your search filters to exclude people you don't want and your mail filters likewise. You can search for profiles you think you might be compatible with and approach them. If you get responses you don't like it's an easy block and your mail box will be much easier to deal with  |
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By *lusherCouple 5 weeks ago
bodmin |
As a bloke who was a bachelor for many years, you get used to rejection. That is ok, the attraction has to be mutual and no one is entitled to your time. I have no time for rude, be it male or female, and I think there Tate attitude is prevelent today.
The guys who do this need a bit of a reality check.
And yes, I do look at some lady's photos and think "I would love to fuck that hard and dirty!" I am a bloke after all |
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"In a way I like bad profiles and messages.
They're a useful filter. It's easy to spot a lack of effort, tap that little block button and ensure they never cross your path again.
It also cuts down on the volume of messages coming in.
If there was a requirement for all to photo verify, have a set number of photos and a minimum profile word count it would be much harder to separate the good from the bad.
Be careful what you wish for......🤷♂️"
With the very greatest of respect it is very different to filter messages when you are a man compared to a woman’s profile
I currently have 2970 unreads in my inbox. I would guess at least a third are pointless / fake profiles / chancer profiles but trying to reply or simply read all is impossible to find the genuine ones
Rather than be careful what we wish for I think we all actually do wish for it ….
Surely safety is paramount ? |
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You are absolutely correct, a person's safety is the most important thing on this site. My last meet was so nervous even after wed been meeting for a couple of months, I kept saying, if you don't trust me just don't come with me. I always say with every meeting, even if we are mid sex if you or I say no stop then it stops immediately and I take you home. No question asked. |
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By *harAndBryCouple 5 weeks ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"We find the same with messages from couples profiles (though the messages likely come from the Man)."
Absolutely this. Probably 70% of the messages we get from single guys are one word, no profile. With couples it's more like 95%.
(Bry) |
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"I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone "
__
The problems you mention are all happening but need different solutions to each.
For example, no point to photo verify single male accounts: no couple or woman is going to pretend to be a male. But It may help with preventing uploading fake photos pretending they are more attractive than reality.
And even if they were photo verified, and they pay to subscribe, the quality of their messages would still be the same awful.
Or should we assume that once verified and paid these men and couples and women will suddenly become all Shakespeares and poets?
Not opposed to your ideas Scarlett, just questioning if they would actually help at all with the quality of communication in Fab, which is poor on average. |
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"We find the same with messages from couples profiles (though the messages likely come from the Man).
Absolutely this. Probably 70% of the messages we get from single guys are one word, no profile. With couples it's more like 95%.
(Bry)"
___
Lol. I guess the one words are Hi Hello, "Fuck?" etc etc. Any funny ones? Any weird ones?
Reading your "one word" comment made me think of an angry Father Jack (Father Ted) browsing on Fab and messaging women and couples... "Fuck!", "Arse!", "Tits!". |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"In a way I like bad profiles and messages.
They're a useful filter. It's easy to spot a lack of effort, tap that little block button and ensure they never cross your path again.
It also cuts down on the volume of messages coming in.
If there was a requirement for all to photo verify, have a set number of photos and a minimum profile word count it would be much harder to separate the good from the bad.
Be careful what you wish for......🤷♂️
With the very greatest of respect it is very different to filter messages when you are a man compared to a woman’s profile
I currently have 2970 unreads in my inbox. I would guess at least a third are pointless / fake profiles / chancer profiles but trying to reply or simply read all is impossible to find the genuine ones
Rather than be careful what we wish for I think we all actually do wish for it ….
Surely safety is paramount ?"
I have a couples profile. This one was a couple profile for a decade.
I've known plenty of single women in my 17 years here, some of whom get hundreds of messages. Others don't, because they use their filters tightly, have no issue with blocking as a permanent filter and as such have easy to manage inboxes.
If there's a couple of thousand messages in an inbox then I imagine many will be from repeat senders. It's easy to solve that. Likewise it's easy to stop pictureless profiles, newbies and unverified people from contacting you.
The tools are there should people choose to use them. 🤷♂️ |
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By *irsSubCouple 5 weeks ago
Darlington |
In my view it's better and worse in different ways. The couples scene seems better than ever and we've met a lot of really sexy chilled couples and had great experiences.
The single guys scene is just a dumpster fire. More abusive messages, more blank profiles than before and guys who don't read profiles. We've stopped meeting single guys outside of clubs because 95% either don't turn up or disappear off fab. Our personal favourite is when you get called fake or timewaster by someone with no photos and no veris. |
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Have to agree with the OP, it does wind us up when they clearly haven't read our profile.... even though they say they love it. Messages that are obviously copy n paste, send to all are lazy and do nothing for us. Something that is also bugging me (male) at the mo are messages that are directly aimed at the lady as though its a fem profile. If we met in a club, would they blank me completely? You'd hope not. We don't want to rule out guys completely as there are some decent ones but they're in the minority. |
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"In a way I like bad profiles and messages.
They're a useful filter. It's easy to spot a lack of effort, tap that little block button and ensure they never cross your path again.
It also cuts down on the volume of messages coming in.
If there was a requirement for all to photo verify, have a set number of photos and a minimum profile word count it would be much harder to separate the good from the bad.
Be careful what you wish for......🤷♂️
With the very greatest of respect it is very different to filter messages when you are a man compared to a woman’s profile
I currently have 2970 unreads in my inbox. I would guess at least a third are pointless / fake profiles / chancer profiles but trying to reply or simply read all is impossible to find the genuine ones
Rather than be careful what we wish for I think we all actually do wish for it ….
Surely safety is paramount ?
I have a couples profile. This one was a couple profile for a decade.
I've known plenty of single women in my 17 years here, some of whom get hundreds of messages. Others don't, because they use their filters tightly, have no issue with blocking as a permanent filter and as such have easy to manage inboxes.
If there's a couple of thousand messages in an inbox then I imagine many will be from repeat senders. It's easy to solve that. Likewise it's easy to stop pictureless profiles, newbies and unverified people from contacting you.
The tools are there should people choose to use them. 🤷♂️"
Not really what I leaning towards
I don’t really want to block new people or single men or even faceless accounts but should the site verify these accounts before they can message us users surely it would surely be a safer environment for all
Simply by blocking accounts that maybe don’t want public photos up or new people is not addressing the root of the problem that we all face on here
Stupid messages I can deal with , abusive ones I can block but men posing as women , men posing as couples and the like could be a potentially dangerous situation waiting to happen should a less seasoned woman arrange a meet unknowingly and something happen to her
I have had a stalker on here for over 10 years that has opened couples and single fem accounts left, right and centre to get close to me simply because he can. And yes sometimes I very nearly have arranged a meet because he’s very convincing using photos from other fabbers etc
Photo I.D etc would definitely help combat this and therefore the quality of messages would be better too as more genuine people opposed to chancers
Just a suggestion as I love this site and as time moves on so should the technology used for making it even better for us to love it more and keep our swinging community swinging lol |
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" Our personal favourite is when you get called fake or timewaster by someone with no photos and no veris."
We've had that... because we had no veris at the time and didn't want to send a face pic, the suggestion was we were fake. |
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To be honest, we're finding it with couples as well.
They don't read your profile and just send messages when they are totally incompatible.
The number of 1 word messages....just saying "Hey"
Why bother. |
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" Our personal favourite is when you get called fake or timewaster by someone with no photos and no veris.
We've had that... because we had no veris at the time and didn't want to send a face pic, the suggestion was we were fake."
A daily occurrence for me.
Bothers me not one bit.
There's plenty of ppl know me ( & hubby ) from the cpls profile and in clubs to keep me happy.  |
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“Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no response”
There’s the reason why your inbox is full to the brim with messages that are nothing but drivel. As it’s been mentioned already and also on countless of other threads, that’s what filters are for. Would be more productive to actually use them to block unwanted messages and seek out people yourself that fit what you’re looking for.
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By *harAndBryCouple 5 weeks ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"To be honest, we're finding it with couples as well.
They don't read your profile and just send messages when they are totally incompatible.
The number of 1 word messages....just saying "Hey"
Why bother. "
Genuinely think that there's a large percentage of couples that think that because they're in demand by all the single guys, that they're above the "rules" and don't think profiles and preferences apply to them.
(Bry) |
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By *harAndBryCouple 5 weeks ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"“Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no response”
There’s the reason why your inbox is full to the brim with messages that are nothing but drivel. As it’s been mentioned already and also on countless of other threads, that’s what filters are for. Would be more productive to actually use them to block unwanted messages and seek out people yourself that fit what you’re looking for.
"
Set filters is always the answer given but it's not always the right answer. We have filters set - not verified and no public pics. Think the first one works but the pics one doesn't work at all.
There's no option to set filters for distance which would help enormously.
We do t want to block all single guys.
(Bry) |
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By *harAndBryCouple 5 weeks ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"I guess the one words are Hi Hello, "Fuck?" etc etc. Any funny ones? Any weird ones?"
"Hi" and "Hey" are definitely the most common. Best today has been "does she meet alone"....four words. Oddly enough answered by the first four words of our actual profile!
(Bry) |
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"I guess the one words are Hi Hello, "Fuck?" etc etc. Any funny ones? Any weird ones?
"Hi" and "Hey" are definitely the most common. Best today has been "does she meet alone"....four words. Oddly enough answered by the first four words of our actual profile!
(Bry)"
"Free?" Lol |
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"“Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no response”
There’s the reason why your inbox is full to the brim with messages that are nothing but drivel. As it’s been mentioned already and also on countless of other threads, that’s what filters are for. Would be more productive to actually use them to block unwanted messages and seek out people yourself that fit what you’re looking for.
Set filters is always the answer given but it's not always the right answer. We have filters set - not verified and no public pics. Think the first one works but the pics one doesn't work at all.
There's no option to set filters for distance which would help enormously.
We do t want to block all single guys.
(Bry)"
A lot say they don’t want to block all single guys because it then frees them up from the responsibility of having to put in the effort on making their experience the best it can be. It’s a lot easier to complain than do that. Just my opinion. 🤷🏾♂️ |
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By *harAndBryCouple 5 weeks ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"A lot say they don’t want to block all single guys because it then frees them up from the responsibility of having to put in the effort on making their experience the best it can be. It’s a lot easier to complain than do that. Just my opinion. 🤷🏾♂️"
Honestly, it *is* easier to receive messages than search and send them ourselves. But we've tried that.
From our profile, we *hope* that someone can get a feeling for us and that we might be able to hold a conversation. We'd then expect someone who messages us to be able to do the same. If it's obvious from the first message that they can't then we know not to take it further. None of our time wasted.
If we search for a single guy, we rarely have anything much in the profile to go on, other than what they look like. So we make the effort and put together a message introducing ourselves and what we looking for, etc, only to get a message back saying "yer".
We understand it seems one-sided expecting guys to put together a message for us, but we figure we've done/do the work creating a profile and keeping it up to date.
(Bry) |
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"A lot say they don’t want to block all single guys because it then frees them up from the responsibility of having to put in the effort on making their experience the best it can be. It’s a lot easier to complain than do that. Just my opinion. 🤷🏾♂️
Honestly, it *is* easier to receive messages than search and send them ourselves. But we've tried that.
From our profile, we *hope* that someone can get a feeling for us and that we might be able to hold a conversation. We'd then expect someone who messages us to be able to do the same. If it's obvious from the first message that they can't then we know not to take it further. None of our time wasted.
If we search for a single guy, we rarely have anything much in the profile to go on, other than what they look like. So we make the effort and put together a message introducing ourselves and what we looking for, etc, only to get a message back saying "yer".
We understand it seems one-sided expecting guys to put together a message for us, but we figure we've done/do the work creating a profile and keeping it up to date.
(Bry)"
Easier to receive messages yes, for the reasons I stated above. There’s handfuls of blokes on here who have great profiles & can string a coherent sentence together. There’s also many guys who get the same one word replies to their crafted and tailored message which is equally as frustrating. Also many profiles of women and couples who have little to nothing to go by off their profile too but never are the told they have to do X,Y,Z
I’m glad you at least can acknowledge that going about things in the way you choose to is one-sided. If a guy said what you’ve just said in terms of what you “expect” no doubt the discourse would be very different. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 5 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone "
Even photo verification are fake. They don't care if admin see them they still play those who they message. |
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"I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone
Even photo verification are fake. They don't care if admin see them they still play those who they message."
I was meaning more that men can’t pretend to be women or couples
There’s all sorts of crazy people out there |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone
Even photo verification are fake. They don't care if admin see them they still play those who they message.
I was meaning more that men can’t pretend to be women or couples
There’s all sorts of crazy people out there "
The option to block unverified profiles is there.
Photo verifications are checked by mods. If the image meets the rules and requirements it will be approved, if not, it won't.
It's not as easy for a single person to set up a verified couples profile as some seem to believe. |
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By *enelope2UWoman 5 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone
Even photo verification are fake. They don't care if admin see them they still play those who they message.
I was meaning more that men can’t pretend to be women or couples
There’s all sorts of crazy people out there "
Same applies unfortunately... Look at the amounts of ladies don't pass him by.. someone had to write that. They'd simply pose as a TV to get photo verification then bam they can create a couple profile. |
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By *harAndBryCouple 5 weeks ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"I’m glad you at least can acknowledge that going about things in the way you choose to is one-sided. If a guy said what you’ve just said in terms of what you “expect” no doubt the discourse would be very different. "
It absolutely would. We also very much appreciated what a compliment it is that guys (and rarely couples!) think we're attractive enough and nice enough people to actually want to spend time with us, so we do try and be kind and polite in declining those that aren't for us. It's not often we end up in any kind of argument with people on our messages
(Bry) |
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By *enelope2UWoman 5 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone
Even photo verification are fake. They don't care if admin see them they still play those who they message.
I was meaning more that men can’t pretend to be women or couples
There’s all sorts of crazy people out there
The option to block unverified profiles is there.
Photo verifications are checked by mods. If the image meets the rules and requirements it will be approved, if not, it won't.
It's not as easy for a single person to set up a verified couples profile as some seem to believe. "
So are BOTH COUPLES required in the same photo at the same time? Because I've had SEVERAL messages ohh I'm no longer with her or she's allowed me to play and it's "single/cheating guys..no couple |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone
Even photo verification are fake. They don't care if admin see them they still play those who they message.
I was meaning more that men can’t pretend to be women or couples
There’s all sorts of crazy people out there
The option to block unverified profiles is there.
Photo verifications are checked by mods. If the image meets the rules and requirements it will be approved, if not, it won't.
It's not as easy for a single person to set up a verified couples profile as some seem to believe.
So are BOTH COUPLES required in the same photo at the same time? Because I've had SEVERAL messages ohh I'm no longer with her or she's allowed me to play and it's "single/cheating guys..no couple "
Those profiles should be reported.
If a couple splits and nobody tells admin how are they to know. 🤷♂️ |
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By *host63Man 5 weeks ago
Bedfont Feltham |
It's a journey in parts.
Start off full of optimisation.
After being ignored stood up or after talking politely and then cut off for no reason on feels disappointed but still hopeful.
As time goes on and more and more women on here are really trying sell sexual services get start to get cynical, and the effort yiu wantbto put in for a lost cause gets less.
I agree there is no reason to send unpleasant messages but after a while thehuge amounts of effort are often not worth the results
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By *host63Man 5 weeks ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"I've been ghosted twice this month and it's just the 7th.. it's a shit show
Unless you're fucking for drugs/money/ or to be cum buckets then you stand no chance of being taken seriously on here..
To be honest looking at your profile you come over as pretty aggressive.
"
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"It's a journey in parts.
Start off full of optimisation.
After being ignored stood up or after talking politely and then cut off for no reason on feels disappointed but still hopeful.
As time goes on and more and more women on here are really trying sell sexual services get start to get cynical, and the effort yiu wantbto put in for a lost cause gets less.
I agree there is no reason to send unpleasant messages but after a while thehuge amounts of effort are often not worth the results
"
This is exactly what we’ve heard from guys too. |
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" It absolutely would. We also very much appreciated what a compliment it is that guys (and rarely couples!) think we're attractive enough and nice enough people to actually want to spend time with us, so we do try and be kind and polite in declining those that aren't for us. It's not often we end up in any kind of argument with people on our messages
(Bry)"
Fair play to you both for that. You’ve certainly gained my respect off the back of this conversation we’ve had. Me either, very rarely have ended up in any arguments with people in my messages, quite the opposite in fact more positivity is needed on here |
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"Filters people, filters.
Use them wisely they're there to make your use of the site easier and to allow you some respite from the messages you don't like.
Set your search filters to exclude people you don't want and your mail filters likewise. You can search for profiles you think you might be compatible with and approach them. If you get responses you don't like it's an easy block and your mail box will be much easier to deal with "
You can't filter out all the idiots and a clear inbox isn't the point.
It's the increase of profiles with zero avatar/one or no public photos/blank interests and "ask me" as their whole blurb. 
Yes I can ignore them
Yes I can block them
However I would like some to actually be decent because strange as it seems I am looking for people.
 |
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By *enelope2UWoman 5 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"I've been ghosted twice this month and it's just the 7th.. it's a shit show
Unless you're fucking for drugs/money/ or to be cum buckets then you stand no chance of being taken seriously on here..
To be honest looking at your profile you come over as pretty aggressive.
"
You spelled direct wrong... I'm not the fab type I make no dispute about that. I communicate to those who TYPE one thing and appear to have similar interests, but come to find it's a lie.
So by aggressive yes if you mean honest and direct. And if that's aggressive for liars then I'm honestly glad they avoid me. I wish those who think it didn't apply to them would do the same. I'm only after guys who are capable of being genuine. |
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By *ojanMan 5 weeks ago
Bedford |
I find it it weird that some ask for a chat first and I totally agree with that when you try you get blocked or no response sometimes it’s pictures of you when you request a chat and again the same problem I am always polite and courteous I am not sure of the right thing to say or ask anymore tbh |
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"I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone
Even photo verification are fake. They don't care if admin see them they still play those who they message.
I was meaning more that men can’t pretend to be women or couples
There’s all sorts of crazy people out there "
__
Scarlett, agree with you. It should not be that complicated to photo verify just women and couples profiles. Numbers are lower. Men profiles would not be necessary. No one is going to pretend to be a man here. |
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"Scarlett, agree with you. It should not be that complicated to photo verify just women and couples profiles. Numbers are lower. Men profiles would not be necessary. No one is going to pretend to be a man here."
The site constantly say its not going to happen. But let's say we get photo verified; then 6 months down the line we're no longer a couple. That verification is null and void. So you then end up having to re verify every say 12 months or so.
Also we only meet at clubs we tell people our profile name they verify us. We are real!!
Just block contact with non verified. So in effect your only contacts on here should be photo verified people and then you've accomplished the goal you set out.
Finally; nothing stays the same. People change, habits change. The relevance of the site changes. |
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"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity."
Nice pussy faf? |
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This has been a very interesting read. As someone fairly new to this whole scene (and who struggles a bit with his confidence), I’ve found it very hard to make a start and it’s in many ways because of the issues described in this thread; that is, trying to cut through the literally hundreds of messages that are cluttering up the inboxes of women I would be interested in getting to know.
As it says in my own profile, I will always take the time to read a profile. I’ll write a short introductory message and include a face pic, as well as any special words etc that I’m asked to use… and then it gets left unread I’m obeying the rules and the wishes of prospective contacts and being ignored anyway, leaving me with a mountain to climb and only a pair of slippers with which to do it.
Of course the practical consequences are that it seems impossible to make contacts and, therefore, to get verified which seems to be something of a gateway. As a paid subscriber and photo verified myself, it seems that those tools aren’t enough to make headway any longer. I get that there’s probably a bit of work I can do on my own profile, but if you’re not even being noticed, having a good profile isn’t going to help much.
It does seem like a sensible suggestion to make sure that we filter out messages from profiles that haven’t made the effort at least, that might help those of us who feel like we’re screaming into the void I would be interested to know how many women/couples are actively searching for new contacts or are perhaps sitting back and waiting for people to come to them? |
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I agree with your comments we only chat to people that shows the green flag and the green tick at least with photos verify you have to both be on the picture holding up your profile name. This never gets shown to anyone else so why not make it a condition on here |
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"Have to agree with the OP, it does wind us up when they clearly haven't read our profile.... even though they say they love it. Messages that are obviously copy n paste, send to all are lazy and do nothing for us. Something that is also bugging me (male) at the mo are messages that are directly aimed at the lady as though its a fem profile. If we met in a club, would they blank me completely? You'd hope not. We don't want to rule out guys completely as there are some decent ones but they're in the minority. "
We often get messages like that, and also, ones who claim they're bi etc and then after a bit of conversation they forget and start talking as though it's just the woman.
We've had a couple of guys where they claim to be bi but are only interested in the male half of the couple but no where near as many that do it and are only interested in the female half.
It becomes apparent after a few messages though so we just block at that point |
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By *entenTea OP Couple 5 weeks ago
Buckley North Wales |
"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity.
Nice pussy faf? "
That pretty much summerises, what we get daily. |
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Too many people put far too much into all this online stuff.
They want every box ticked when they see a profile and if it does not meet their standards...it's a write off!
And that is fair enough. If that's how someone wants to do business, let them.
However, the reality between a fab profile and the real person or persons can often be quite different.
It's the metaphorical equivalent of seeing your dream car in Autotrader but when you come to take it for a test drive, you find that the engine clanks, the roof sags and there is a funny odour when the heaters are on!
As a tool, it's just there to connect people but in reality it fails because people are inherantly trying to find something that possibly does not exist, ergo, it will never ever beat meeting people in real life. Dont get me wrong, it clearly works for some but for others...not so much.
I mean look at it this way. Women can make a bare minimum 1 sentance profile, slap a picture of their cleavage on there and get 100 messages a day. A man however can go out of his way to make a well written profile (in his eyes) with some nice photos (in his eyes) and he's never going to match that.
Just the nature of the game.
But it's a bit different in real life.
Stick 50 people in a room and sooner or later they'll all interact one way or another and some interactions will go better than others.
And someone who may not take the best photos or be the most litrate might shine in that enviroment.
Therefore, it's always going to be better getting out from behind the keyboard in my opinion. Deal with the person in front of you rather than box ticking whats written down. May not change the outcome and you still may not be interested but at least you've got a realer picture of who the person is.
|
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"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity.
Lot of big words in that last chapter haha.
Us single men aren't all the same don't get too down on us "
We can vouch for P! One of fab’s good guys for sure x |
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"I agree with your comments we only chat to people that shows the green flag and the green tick at least with photos verify you have to both be on the picture holding up your profile name. This never gets shown to anyone else so why not make it a condition on here "
I don't understand why it's not a condition either. I know you can block unverified users from messaging, it's not really about them messaging, I just think it sends a better message and although its not a cure all, it would deter some. There's literally no real excuse to not be photo verified IMO. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I agree with your comments we only chat to people that shows the green flag and the green tick at least with photos verify you have to both be on the picture holding up your profile name. This never gets shown to anyone else so why not make it a condition on here
I don't understand why it's not a condition either. I know you can block unverified users from messaging, it's not really about them messaging, I just think it sends a better message and although its not a cure all, it would deter some. There's literally no real excuse to not be photo verified IMO."
I finally photo verified last year. 16 years after joining the site and only because it was necessary compost videos.
Prior to that I'd picked up one or two verifications, was obviously real and the lack of a green flag didn't affect my life on site at all.
It's not a cure for most of the issues people think it is. |
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By *bi HaiveMan 5 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I agree with your comments we only chat to people that shows the green flag and the green tick at least with photos verify you have to both be on the picture holding up your profile name. This never gets shown to anyone else so why not make it a condition on here
I don't understand why it's not a condition either. I know you can block unverified users from messaging, it's not really about them messaging, I just think it sends a better message and although its not a cure all, it would deter some. There's literally no real excuse to not be photo verified IMO.
I finally photo verified last year. 16 years after joining the site and only because it was necessary compost videos.
Prior to that I'd picked up one or two verifications, was obviously real and the lack of a green flag didn't affect my life on site at all.
It's not a cure for most of the issues people think it is. "
'To post' - not compost.
Ducking autocarrot.........🤦♂️🤦♂️ |
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I can't complain iv had some great meets on fab.
While back on fab. Met a few couples, a women and now we are fwb.
Enjoy going to clubs too.
Women get tons and tons of messages so can be really hard to connect with a women and couples there has to be a three way attraction, which is hard to find too.
Been swinging 8 year on and off abd very much enjoy chatting, making friends, fwb, play meets and socialising
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"I don't understand why it's not a condition either. I know you can block unverified users from messaging, it's not really about them messaging, I just think it sends a better message and although its not a cure all, it would deter some. There's literally no real excuse to not be photo verified IMO."
We only meet at clubs. We're not interested in arranging meets on here. Being photo verified means nothing to us.
Let people run their profiles as they want to and what works for them. |
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"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity."
Every single day we get straight guys messaging us, despite a cursory glance at our profile would inform them we’re not interested.
It’s not difficult is it.
If you’re looking for an Indian takeaway you don’t want pizza! |
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By *entenTea OP Couple 4 weeks ago
Buckley North Wales |
"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity.
Every single day we get straight guys messaging us, despite a cursory glance at our profile would inform them we’re not interested.
It’s not difficult is it.
If you’re looking for an Indian takeaway you don’t want pizza! "
I like the way you put that.
Good profile, yet you still face the frustration of men completely ignoring it. |
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"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity.
Every single day we get straight guys messaging us, despite a cursory glance at our profile would inform them we’re not interested.
It’s not difficult is it.
If you’re looking for an Indian takeaway you don’t want pizza!
I like the way you put that.
Good profile, yet you still face the frustration of men completely ignoring it. "
Absolutely, it took Frankie 2 days to write. All I ask is someone read it before they message us!
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We find most not all single guys don’t read your profile anymore
If they did it would let them see what we are looking for
At the moment we are unable to meet which is stated on our profile but guys still message asking us to meet
All we ask is please read profiles |
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By *andora2Woman 4 weeks ago
South somewhere |
"We find most not all single guys don’t read your profile anymore
If they did it would let them see what we are looking for
At the moment we are unable to meet which is stated on our profile but guys still message asking us to meet
All we ask is please read profiles "
I often think if I put an update to say I was in ICU after major surgery I’d still get messages asking if I was free to meet 🙄 |
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It's the entitlement that's bewildering.
I sent a polite no thank you, not looking for single men.
Got a reply back that said along the lines of "but I'm interested and want to meet".
Sorry. My bad. How dare I have an opinion. I'll get my coat and what time do you want me  |
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With the volume of people here, there's enormous levels of choice. I'm assuming that as so many are here for years, that single men won't degrade their profiles, turning great ones to rubbish so you'll probably have to stick with older-established users, rather than newer ones.
If you're deluged with dross, you might need to use filters and just search for those who have been here longer and have the right expressive qualities.
There's always an influx of lazier men who come and go achieving little.  |
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"We find most not all single guys don’t read your profile anymore
If they did it would let them see what we are looking for
At the moment we are unable to meet which is stated on our profile but guys still message asking us to meet
All we ask is please read profiles
I often think if I put an update to say I was in ICU after major surgery I’d still get messages asking if I was free to meet 🙄"
I was online, in Sydney once and a guy in the UK wanted an immediate meet. I told him where I was and so he deduced and demanded I'd meet him 'tomorrow' . Clueless |
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i agree with a lot of opinions on here - being here many years - i always read profiles and being verified etc get a buzz just from being read let alone a reply - never expect anything from women or couples as per above women must be getting 100s of messages a day in some instances - i havent even been viewed more than a hundread times as yet |
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By (user no longer on site) 4 weeks ago
|
"I have been on here over 10 years and it it has definitely changed
Personally I feel everyone should have to be photo verified and pay a subscription
I have had some very abusive messages and somewhat frightening experiences from men pretending they are couples or single fems.
Was only this week an account offered to pay me to verify them as real - reported obviously but that’s how fake veris happen and potentially putting people at risk
Live Photo verifying would make it so much safer for the genuine swinging community on here
I would be happy to aid in the vetting process to make it safer for everyone "
This ☝️ |
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My profile clearly says not to message me if your profile pic is your dick and/or that's all your public pics consist of.
Got two messages within an hour last week where the above applied. I messaged both to tell them what my profile says - I can only assume they didn't bother their asses to read it.
Both came back to me saying "but you have your tits outline your photos, so what's the difference?".
I love the Block button   |
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By *andora2Woman 4 weeks ago
South somewhere |
"
I often think if I put an update to say I was in ICU after major surgery I’d still get messages asking if I was free to meet 🙄
I was online, in Sydney once and a guy in the UK wanted an immediate meet. I told him where I was and so he deduced and demanded I'd meet him 'tomorrow' . Clueless "
It’s actually mind boggling at times. Word blindness at its finest! |
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By *andora2Woman 4 weeks ago
South somewhere |
"I often think if I put an update to say I was in ICU after major surgery I’d still get messages asking if I was free to meet 🙄
Don't be kink shaming the medical fetishists
(Bry)"
Believe it or not that went through my mind as I pressed the post button 😂 |
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By *enelope2UWoman 4 weeks ago
Doesn't matter cant block distances |
"I often think if I put an update to say I was in ICU after major surgery I’d still get messages asking if I was free to meet 🙄
Don't be kink shaming the medical fetishists
(Bry)"
They'd message they'd keep you warm
Or that the assed out gown was sexy |
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"Totally agree. Then they get funny with you if you reply no thank you or delete messages. "
I have had one bloke harrass me this week because I said no. I blocked him but men not taking no for answer via message leaves me seriously questioning thier behaviour in real life |
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We are seeing strange behaviours towards us - hubby sending decent messages with face pics to single females, one accused him of being a man posing as a couple when our profile is clearly run by me; another guys asked for a meet no conversation then said it was a guy pretending on our profile! The fab world is feeling a little mad atm. We have been let down by single guys on three occasions but our own free time is more the issue  |
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"In a way I like bad profiles and messages.
They're a useful filter. It's easy to spot a lack of effort, tap that little block button and ensure they never cross your path again.
It also cuts down on the volume of messages coming in.
If there was a requirement for all to photo verify, have a set number of photos and a minimum profile word count it would be much harder to separate the good from the bad.
Be careful what you wish for......🤷♂️"
Spot on!!! |
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The latest interesting one that just hit my inbox is would I like to have a cat fight with another woman in a fancy hotel room....
The mind boggles as to what is going through people's minds when they write these messages.
|
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"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity."
My god what a fancy word salad .. can I have chips with that ?
Is this an attempt at intellectual snobbery by the use of big words ? Seems quite prevalent on this site, this use of a thesaurus to thicken out an otherwise easy to read paragraph with superfluous fancy big words??.. pretentious.
You are right though. As a decent single guy i don't bother sending many thought out messages now .. it takes a bit of time to craft such perfection as required to have it unread, deleted, not replied. It really is a waste of time. Fab "rule" it's ok to be ignorant to nice guys. So I wouldn't be surprised by the quality of messages going downhill. |
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"The latest interesting one that just hit my inbox is would I like to have a cat fight with another woman in a fancy hotel room....
The mind boggles as to what is going through people's minds when they write these messages.
"
That one pops up on ours from time to time, I’m not gonna yuck someone’s yum but I think there are other sites he could find takers for that! |
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"The latest interesting one that just hit my inbox is would I like to have a cat fight with another woman in a fancy hotel room....
The mind boggles as to what is going through people's minds when they write these messages.
That one pops up on ours from time to time, I’m not gonna yuck someone’s yum but I think there are other sites he could find takers for that! "
It's the safety aspect of it, for me to agree to have a fight with someone in a hotel room. What exactly am I consenting to? |
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"The latest interesting one that just hit my inbox is would I like to have a cat fight with another woman in a fancy hotel room....
The mind boggles as to what is going through people's minds when they write these messages.
"
Oh we have had that a few times I reported the profile and blocked them |
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Absolutely unfortunately they are. And there may be genuinely decent single guys on here but the attitude and behaviour of most ruin it for the minority.
We took our filters off one weekend to allow them to message, purely out of curiosity more than anything. Wow, what an eye opener.
99.9% of the messages were directed at the Mrs, from either demanding to "meet now" to promising her a "great time, I've got a huge cock compared to what your Mr has, you can't be satisfied" to straight up videos of them wanking over her pictures. Some went even more extreme and clearly thought their messages littered with insults would be exactly what she was looking for and she'd be hopping on their cock pronto.
I think the issue is so many guys on here presume this is no different to T*nder and the likes and every woman on here is a slut and gagging for sex 24/7, so they'll be able to get a fuck with very minimal effort. Obviously when they find out this site isn't like that and they actually have to put some effort in, then all the posts whinging and whining start. |
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"Absolutely unfortunately they are. And there may be genuinely decent single guys on here but the attitude and behaviour of most ruin it for the minority.
We took our filters off one weekend to allow them to message, purely out of curiosity more than anything. Wow, what an eye opener.
99.9% of the messages were directed at the Mrs, from either demanding to "meet now" to promising her a "great time, I've got a huge cock compared to what your Mr has, you can't be satisfied" to straight up videos of them wanking over her pictures. Some went even more extreme and clearly thought their messages littered with insults would be exactly what she was looking for and she'd be hopping on their cock pronto.
I think the issue is so many guys on here presume this is no different to T*nder and the likes and every woman on here is a slut and gagging for sex 24/7, so they'll be able to get a fuck with very minimal effort. Obviously when they find out this site isn't like that and they actually have to put some effort in, then all the posts whinging and whining start."
Wonder how many of those messages came from guys who had/are one of, or all of the following:
- no photo or meet verifications
- no public pics (silhouette account)
- do not even know where the forums are, let alone come to post on them |
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"Absolutely unfortunately they are. And there may be genuinely decent single guys on here but the attitude and behaviour of most ruin it for the minority.
We took our filters off one weekend to allow them to message, purely out of curiosity more than anything. Wow, what an eye opener.
99.9% of the messages were directed at the Mrs, from either demanding to "meet now" to promising her a "great time, I've got a huge cock compared to what your Mr has, you can't be satisfied" to straight up videos of them wanking over her pictures. Some went even more extreme and clearly thought their messages littered with insults would be exactly what she was looking for and she'd be hopping on their cock pronto.
I think the issue is so many guys on here presume this is no different to T*nder and the likes and every woman on here is a slut and gagging for sex 24/7, so they'll be able to get a fuck with very minimal effort. Obviously when they find out this site isn't like that and they actually have to put some effort in, then all the posts whinging and whining start.
Wonder how many of those messages came from guys who had/are one of, or all of the following:
- no photo or meet verifications
- no public pics (silhouette account)
- do not even know where the forums are, let alone come to post on them "
You would be suprised. A few come from those with proper verifications and fully fleshed out profiles. |
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"Absolutely unfortunately they are. And there may be genuinely decent single guys on here but the attitude and behaviour of most ruin it for the minority.
We took our filters off one weekend to allow them to message, purely out of curiosity more than anything. Wow, what an eye opener.
99.9% of the messages were directed at the Mrs, from either demanding to "meet now" to promising her a "great time, I've got a huge cock compared to what your Mr has, you can't be satisfied" to straight up videos of them wanking over her pictures. Some went even more extreme and clearly thought their messages littered with insults would be exactly what she was looking for and she'd be hopping on their cock pronto.
I think the issue is so many guys on here presume this is no different to T*nder and the likes and every woman on here is a slut and gagging for sex 24/7, so they'll be able to get a fuck with very minimal effort. Obviously when they find out this site isn't like that and they actually have to put some effort in, then all the posts whinging and whining start.
Wonder how many of those messages came from guys who had/are one of, or all of the following:
- no photo or meet verifications
- no public pics (silhouette account)
- do not even know where the forums are, let alone come to post on them
You would be suprised. A few come from those with proper verifications and fully fleshed out profiles. "
I’ve been on here long enough now that very little to nothing at all surprises me. |
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By *andora2Woman 4 weeks ago
South somewhere |
"
I think the issue is so many guys on here presume this is no different to T*nder and the likes and every woman on here is a slut and gagging for sex 24/7, so they'll be able to get a fuck with very minimal effort. Obviously when they find out this site isn't like that and they actually have to put some effort in, then all the posts whinging and whining start."
Your last paragraph sums up the problem perfectly.
They view it as a sex site rather than a lifestyle.
Can I just add before I’m accused of tarring all men with the same brush, I’m not. There are many very decent guys on here. |
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As many of you have already mentioned, the site has gone massively downhill with regards to the quality of messaging and profiles, in particular from the vast majority of single guys, although it’s not exclusively limited to them they are the majority of the problem.
What also irks me is the lack of imagination or thought when it comes to the forums now too.
Endless repeats of the same topics, continual fantasist posts in everywhere EXCEPT the Stories and fantasies section, and in pretty much every single thread a single guy (or multiple singles) taking someone’s post in a thread as an opportunity to bombard them with messages.
An indication of this is that the Introductions thread has actually been completely overrun by fantasist posts, I’ve not seen an actual introduction in there in months.
Perhaps some of the mods need to get a grip of this? |
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We’ve had 2 no show’s this weekend, one said still ok to meet 2 hours before meeting and we add a mobile number with the message so he come text on arrival. we arrived and wait for a hour he didn’t open message sent on fab to ask if he was still coming has he didn’t sent a number.
Heard nothing from him all weekend and then today has the nerve to message saying sorry.
The other one made arrangements to meet at hotel with a pub attached(big hotel chain) and then heard nothing since.
We also had 2 no shows while on holiday down south.
3 of them verified profiles and 1 not verified
Messages from guys who don’t read the profile so getting regular and at the moment it’s now put her off meeting guys off fab after this weekend
At least at a club they are there.
Maybe the good guys on fab need to start trying to rid the bad ones out cause even they must get frustrated with all the fakes.
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By *harAndBryCouple 4 weeks ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"We’ve had 2 no show’s this weekend"
Same here. Ghosted by last night's, informed with two hours notice that this morning's wasn't happening.
They were our two opportunities for the week, wasted. Both guys had recent meet verifications, too.
Don't know what more we can do!
(Bry) |
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"We’ve had 2 no show’s this weekend
Same here. Ghosted by last night's, informed with two hours notice that this morning's wasn't happening.
They were our two opportunities for the week, wasted. Both guys had recent meet verifications, too.
Don't know what more we can do!
(Bry)"
Why the hell would people ghost you? I’d be grateful to meet you, I can’t understand why people would cancel at the last minute |
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"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity."
Ah yes, the struggle of the single man on here—where crafting a thoughtful, engaging message feels like composing a Shakespearean sonnet, only to have it vanish into the digital void like a politician’s promise.
I totally get the frustration. I mean, if I see one more profile that just says ‘Hey’ or ‘DTF?’ I might start an outreach program for single guys in need of basic communication skills. Maybe even a support group: 'Hi, my name’s [Your Name], and I actually read profiles before messaging.'
But hey, not all of us are here to contribute to the ‘smegma of masturbatory mediocrity’ (amazing phrase, by the way). Some of us are here to intrigue, engage, and—if all goes well—leave people grinning for all the right reasons. So tell me, what’s the secret passphrase to prove I’m one of the good ones?
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"As many of you have already mentioned, the site has gone massively downhill with regards to the quality of messaging and profiles, in particular from the vast majority of single guys, although it’s not exclusively limited to them they are the majority of the problem.
What also irks me is the lack of imagination or thought when it comes to the forums now too.
Endless repeats of the same topics, continual fantasist posts in everywhere EXCEPT the Stories and fantasies section, and in pretty much every single thread a single guy (or multiple singles) taking someone’s post in a thread as an opportunity to bombard them with messages.
An indication of this is that the Introductions thread has actually been completely overrun by fantasist posts, I’ve not seen an actual introduction in there in months.
Perhaps some of the mods need to get a grip of this?"
Get a grip how?
Yes there will be repeat questions asked in threads because new people post them who haven't asked it before.
The Introductions forum is used both for actual introductions and people looking to make contact with others. Yes, some of the posts make me cringe (especially when concerning the subject of swapping photos/knickers/wife chat from single male profiles) but if they don't break the rules then there's little that can be done.
As I said earlier - profiles with minimal effort are easy to spot and avoid/ignore. Likewise dull messages.
Filters and the block button folks. 🤷♂️ |
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By *entenTea OP Couple 4 weeks ago
Buckley North Wales |
"Just a bit of a rant. I know all too well how rough a time single men have of it here. Many have given up trying to send reasonable messages as even those get no responce. But lately it seems like the quality of messages and profiles has declined, significantly so.
There is no hint they have read or comprehended the profiles they are responding to or any attempt to address a couple as a couple. Their own profiles have all the clarity and depth of a Trumpian edict.
We have no desire to block single guys but it seems like the quality of aspirant depravity has degenerated to the point of depressing insipid brevity and banality. We are condemned to be spattered by communicatory smegma of masterbatory mediocrity.
Ah yes, the struggle of the single man on here—where crafting a thoughtful, engaging message feels like composing a Shakespearean sonnet, only to have it vanish into the digital void like a politician’s promise.
I totally get the frustration. I mean, if I see one more profile that just says ‘Hey’ or ‘DTF?’ I might start an outreach program for single guys in need of basic communication skills. Maybe even a support group: 'Hi, my name’s [Your Name], and I actually read profiles before messaging.'
But hey, not all of us are here to contribute to the ‘smegma of masturbatory mediocrity’ (amazing phrase, by the way). Some of us are here to intrigue, engage, and—if all goes well—leave people grinning for all the right reasons. So tell me, what’s the secret passphrase to prove I’m one of the good ones?
"
A clear indication that you have read the profile and addressing your message with reference to something in the profile. |
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By *andora2Woman 4 weeks ago
South somewhere |
"They'd message they'd keep you warm
Or that the assed out gown was sexy
"I'd give you some intensive care!"
"Need a bed bath?"
"Don't worry, you can just lay there and do nothing...."
(Bry)"
😂🫣 |
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By *an8iMan 4 weeks ago
Bilston |
I always use the profiles word to say I've read the whole profile then leave a polite message saying I seen your looking for.... leave a face pic if requested say I'm none pushy so if I don't get a reply I'll take it as a polite no thanks. 90% of the time the message doesn't get read anyway. |
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Jeeso .. how come all you couples end up chatting to so many guys who don't turn up .. ?? What are they saying that draws you to them for chat in the first place to then actually not be who they say they are at all, yet completely genuine honest signed men with a decent education and not full of shit don't get replies to 95percent of my hellos and getting as far as a meet is like rocking horse shit .. I follow all the advice yet so many women and couple seem to entertain others and their chat instead, and what do you know, they turn out to be time wasters.. genuinely puzzled as to what these guys chat is in the initial stages to get your attention so avidly .. ?? ..
I mean do I need to fake up a monster cock pic or something ??!! Lol  |
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"Jeeso .. how come all you couples end up chatting to so many guys who don't turn up .. ?? What are they saying that draws you to them for chat in the first place to then actually not be who they say they are at all, yet completely genuine honest signed men with a decent education and not full of shit don't get replies to 95percent of my hellos and getting as far as a meet is like rocking horse shit .. I follow all the advice yet so many women and couple seem to entertain others and their chat instead, and what do you know, they turn out to be time wasters.. genuinely puzzled as to what these guys chat is in the initial stages to get your attention so avidly .. ?? ..
I mean do I need to fake up a monster cock pic or something ??!! Lol "
We must be really lucky as we have never organised a meet where the guy doesn’t turn up |
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By *harAndBryCouple 4 weeks ago
Peterborough / Stamford |
"Jeeso .. how come all you couples end up chatting to so many guys who don't turn up .. ?? What are they saying that draws you to them for chat in the first place to then actually not be who they say they are at all, yet completely genuine honest signed men with a decent education and not full of shit don't get replies to 95percent of my hellos and getting as far as a meet is like rocking horse shit .. I follow all the advice yet so many women and couple seem to entertain others and their chat instead, and what do you know, they turn out to be time wasters.. genuinely puzzled as to what these guys chat is in the initial stages to get your attention so avidly .. ?? ..
I mean do I need to fake up a monster cock pic or something ??!! Lol "
Unfortunately you need to find the couples that find you attractive. For us, physical attraction is key and I'm sure that of the guys that Char doesn't fancy, a huge proportion of them are genuine guys that will turn up.
(Bry) |
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We have been on here for around d 3 months now and we have to admit at times it can be overwhelming. The amount of message and friend requests from guys who haven't taken any time to read our profile is crazy.
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I think last night I hit the lowest of low. A guy tried to bully me into meeting him because if I didn't, I wouldn't be "open-minded" and he able to look beyond his disability! That he has zero mention on his profile about! I don't care whether you're disabled, poor, rich, or how your body is shaped. My profile is very clear I'm not looking for men! |
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"A lot say they don’t want to block all single guys because it then frees them up from the responsibility of having to put in the effort on making their experience the best it can be. It’s a lot easier to complain than do that. Just my opinion. 🤷🏾♂️
Honestly, it *is* easier to receive messages than search and send them ourselves. But we've tried that.
From our profile, we *hope* that someone can get a feeling for us and that we might be able to hold a conversation. We'd then expect someone who messages us to be able to do the same. If it's obvious from the first message that they can't then we know not to take it further. None of our time wasted.
If we search for a single guy, we rarely have anything much in the profile to go on, other than what they look like. So we make the effort and put together a message introducing ourselves and what we looking for, etc, only to get a message back saying "yer".
We understand it seems one-sided expecting guys to put together a message for us, but we figure we've done/do the work creating a profile and keeping it up to date.
(Bry)
Easier to receive messages yes, for the reasons I stated above. There’s handfuls of blokes on here who have great profiles & can string a coherent sentence together. There’s also many guys who get the same one word replies to their crafted and tailored message which is equally as frustrating. Also many profiles of women and couples who have little to nothing to go by off their profile too but never are the told they have to do X,Y,Z
I’m glad you at least can acknowledge that going about things in the way you choose to is one-sided. If a guy said what you’ve just said in terms of what you “expect” no doubt the discourse would be very different. "
Well said |
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"To be honest, we're finding it with couples as well.
They don't read your profile and just send messages when they are totally incompatible.
The number of 1 word messages....just saying "Hey"
Why bother.
Genuinely think that there's a large percentage of couples that think that because they're in demand by all the single guys, that they're above the "rules" and don't think profiles and preferences apply to them.
(Bry)"
I’m fairly confident in saying that solo guys come in to Fab looking for solo women. Based on my own experiences over the 12 years I’ve used this site, I only met couples because there were so few solo women, and I would say this will be the same for the majority of guys in here.
It’s not much different in the club scene either, for those who chant “Just go to a club!”………a club is just Fab condensed in to one building
So while some couples may be in demand from some solo guys looking to meet couples, the vast majority of guys are only really interested in meeting solo women |
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I use a few filters to reduce the people that could message me, if they wanted to.
I filtered couples out too as sometimes they are as bad for not reading profiles or seeing what it is you're looking for too.
If someone sends me a crap message and it's clear they've not read my bio I delete. If it's cringey graphic, I block them too.
I always take time to respond to a decent message, even if it's with a no thanks, because I know it can be really hard on here for single men.
They're not all bad, my partner was a single bloke on here when we met and is respectful of others. I chat to a couple of men regularly, who are easy going and do OK on here.
It's the person who is an idiot, not always down to the gender. I don't chat to women, but I'm guessing there's some of those who are rude and entitled too.
Maybe use your filters to block men for a bit and search for some yourself op. |
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There are genuine signals on here and yes we do get despondent when trying to interact especially when reading profiles and responding in a non generic way actually trying to make conversations with the individuals or couples and getting no response is what feels as a kick in the teeth. That may be why you are finding that messages you receive are somewhat generic and not thought out .
I guess what iam trying to say is communication is key and with out a response how can anyone moan. Obviously this is my opinion and I don't know what messages or what's been said .
I wish you all the very best |
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By *bi HaiveMan 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
It's always worth remembering that 95% (if not more) of people on here won't be compatible with eachother.
You might be the right age, height, weight, body size and sexuality, share (on paper) many of the same interests, be in roughly the same geographical location and at first, brief glance - potentially a good fit for eachother
But then there's attraction. Both physical and mental.
You can't tell that til you see/meet/speak to them.
Photos aren't always clear and sufficient to make that decision. Words on a screen are just that - words.
You can tick a lot of boxes based purely on profile content and still be a million miles form being someone they actually want to meet and get naked with. Such is life.
Recognising and realising that early on in your swinging/fab life and accepting it will go a long way to making life on here and in the scene waaaaay less stressful and disappointing. |
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We dont tend to message first but when we do, its always in response to something thats caught our eye, an interesting status, a photo, something in their profile etc. I think it shows that the message is written for them rather than a "send to all" message or a generic "hi", "what you upto" etc. We dont expect a reply and it doesnt always turn into a conversation but at least we've shown an intetest in that individual or couple.
Mrs will reply to pretty much any message whereas I delete more one word ones.
I suppose the tip is... you only make one first impression so make it an intetested one that we want to reply to. |
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