FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swinging Support and Advice > Too forward when approaching couples?
Too forward when approaching couples?
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By (user no longer on site) OP 5 weeks ago
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When we message couples we tend to;
Send pics in first message
Say we like the sound of their profile sometimes picking out something specific. A little small talk.
If they reciprocate or reply positively back we provide;
A method to contact (cellphone) number Ask when they are available for a meet or social or L=let them know when we're free.
It seems to put people off, it doesn't feel pushy to us? The way we see it is you get a better feel for someone in person and if they can't even talk on a phone then a meet isn't going to happen.
This site can't have that many flakes on it can it? |
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I wouldn't call it pushy but a lot of people prefer a slightly slower approach.
I guess if it's not working for the majority of people you contact then I guess you have a choice of carrying on as you are and waiting until you find someone who likes that kind of approach or you change how you do it |
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I'd provide the offer of Telegram so no number is needed. I also would exchange a handful of messages prior to that. It doesn't have to be yonks, just long enough to know if there's mutual interest.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 4 weeks ago
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"Personally wouldn't be for us giving phone numbers so quick especially for a profile that isnt meet verified but whatever works for you."
Shouldn't really place too much in verifications. We don't believe you can tell what a person is like at all without actually speaking to them. If that what is working for you though, fair play. 
On that topic, when we look at verifications we look at what is actually said about them and by who. Verifications give a good indication of the company a person likes to associate with. 'Loved being balls deep in her' is a right turn off for us. Likewise, if the same people keep leaving verifications on each other's profiles it indicates a clique behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 4 weeks ago
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"On a positive note, we'll never have trouble with time wasters. 
If clubs interest you try those instead? Obviously any interactions will be in person then "
Thinking that's the best way to be honest. It is odd how folk are happy to let another man fuck their wife but won't give out a cellphone. |
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For us, it'd be a no.
We don't share our phone numbers at all. We offer Telegram if a profile heavily interested us but usually we just end the conversation instantly if phone numbers come up too soon as we've found it's usually pushy people who take this approach from personal experience (others ofcourse will have had a different experience).
If that's how you wish to continue though, keep going. Currently, you're just ticking off people who aren't compatible which isn't a bad thing. |
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"On a positive note, we'll never have trouble with time wasters.
If clubs interest you try those instead? Obviously any interactions will be in person then
Thinking that's the best way to be honest. It is odd how folk are happy to let another man fuck their wife but won't give out a cellphone. "
I suppose it could be seen as odd. It becomes less so once you experience people who blow up your phone, send abuse, dox your phone number etc. |
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"On a positive note, we'll never have trouble with time wasters.
If clubs interest you try those instead? Obviously any interactions will be in person then
Thinking that's the best way to be honest. It is odd how folk are happy to let another man fuck their wife but won't give out a cellphone. "
Everyone does things their own way. It doesn't make it odd if it's different to how you do it. |
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"We also wouldn't play more than once with most playmates, so no point them having our numbers.
Some would say it's odd for anyone to share their wife period. To us it's not though is it? 😉"
Hey! Don't add pressure! At some point, I'd love to steal Brunette away for play so I've gotta make sure it's explosive lol
Xx |
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"We also wouldn't play more than once with most playmates, so no point them having our numbers.
Some would say it's odd for anyone to share their wife period. To us it's not though is it? 😉
Hey! Don't add pressure! At some point, I'd love to steal Brunette away for play so I've gotta make sure it's explosive lol
Xx"
Wellllll..... 😉
We will be resuming nights out after new year.
X |
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"We also wouldn't play more than once with most playmates, so no point them having our numbers.
Some would say it's odd for anyone to share their wife period. To us it's not though is it? 😉
Hey! Don't add pressure! At some point, I'd love to steal Brunette away for play so I've gotta make sure it's explosive lol
Xx
Wellllll..... 😉
We will be resuming nights out after new year.
X "
Yay! Be good to catch up! Let us know when you're planning to trip out x |
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We don't have an issue exchanging phone numbers or speaking on phone but usually (in our experience) people who ask for numbers etc. too soon are just time wasters wanting to exchange endless messages with no intention to meet or sometimes it is just one half of couple collecting content for wank bank. Such profiles also have a higher rate of no show or cold feet last minute.
Lack of any meet verifications will certainly put us off but everyone got to start somewhere, with such couples we simply advise when we are free for social and leave the ball in their court. We would rather know someone over a social than speaking on phone.
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"On a positive note, we'll never have trouble with time wasters.
If clubs interest you try those instead? Obviously any interactions will be in person then
Thinking that's the best way to be honest. It is odd how folk are happy to let another man fuck their wife but won't give out a cellphone. "
The trouble is these people don’t know you from Adam.
We picked up a stalker fairly early on but we had a burner phone so it didn’t really matter but if we’d given a regular phone number lots more information can potentially be extracted from it if you’ve used it for a login on socials etc. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 4 weeks ago
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"Out of curiosity the number you give out is a shared number or his or her?"
Hubbies of course, but we'd like to think that anyone we do share a number with aren't thick. We know full-well that if both of us haven't introduced ourselves in the first few seconds then we would expect the other couple to hang up and block.
For all we know, maybe hubbies a bit young looking for some? Who knows? Keep in mind some of our messages are replies to people who've sent pics to us to introduce themselves.  |
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I'm half a couple and this wouldn't appeal to me, it would feel too fast.
I don't want to be giving my number out after a message or 2, plus I'd have no idea if I wanted to meet someone based on 1/2 messages.
Clubs are probably better for you, you can turn up, if you see a couple you like you can play that night.
People work in different ways and are some will be more comfortable with your approach, than others. |
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"Out of curiosity the number you give out is a shared number or his or her?
Hubbies of course, but we'd like to think that anyone we do share a number with aren't thick. We know full-well that if both of us haven't introduced ourselves in the first few seconds then we would expect the other couple to hang up and block.
For all we know, maybe hubbies a bit young looking for some? Who knows? Keep in mind some of our messages are replies to people who've sent pics to us to introduce themselves. "
Why do you say 'hubbies of course'? Quite a lot of women take the lead.
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I'm not your target audience, but I prefer the majority of my contact with others to remain on here. If I find things are looking promising then I'll move to an in-person social meet.
I'd never give out my phone number to someone before I've established that I might actually be interested in meeting them, not only for safety reasons but also because I hate talking on the phone.
Someone prompting me to call them in their initial messages would be a hard pass from me.
We all do Fab differently. If your way is what you feel comfortable with, that's grand, but you must also respect that it may be the exact thing that will put others off. They're doing Fab their way, just like you |
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By *ouple49Couple 4 weeks ago
Cheshire near Whitchurch, Shropshire |
"When we message couples we tend to;
Send pics in first message
Say we like the sound of their profile sometimes picking out something specific. A little small talk.
If they reciprocate or reply positively back we provide;
A method to contact (cellphone) number Ask when they are available for a meet or social or L=let them know when we're free.
It seems to put people off, it doesn't feel pushy to us? The way we see it is you get a better feel for someone in person and if they can't even talk on a phone then a meet isn't going to happen.
This site can't have that many flakes on it can it?"
Sadly it probably does nowadays, fakes, wannabes that can’t actually brave communication or meeting up and worse the egotistical who think nearly everyone is beneath them. So different from how things once were. There were always non genuine people on here but only a few. |
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By *ouple49Couple 4 weeks ago
Cheshire near Whitchurch, Shropshire |
"When we message couples we tend to;
Send pics in first message
Say we like the sound of their profile sometimes picking out something specific. A little small talk.
If they reciprocate or reply positively back we provide;
A method to contact (cellphone) number Ask when they are available for a meet or social or L=let them know when we're free.
It seems to put people off, it doesn't feel pushy to us? The way we see it is you get a better feel for someone in person and if they can't even talk on a phone then a meet isn't going to happen.
This site can't have that many flakes on it can it?"
Mind you the cannot accommodate and cannot travel is usually a put off for starters especially as you’re not verified in any way |
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By *an1978Woman 4 weeks ago
GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please) |
It would be too forward for me,
If I met someone in a bar, and the conversation went
Them: hey nice dress, I've been watching you dance, you look fun.
Me: Why thank you, I love to dance.
Them : heres my number I can fuck you Tuesday at 3, or Saturday before 11. Let me know.
It would completely throw me, but for others they will love the directness, you are being yourself, you explain that on your profile, so you will hopefully find like-minded people who want the same 
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By (user no longer on site) OP 4 weeks ago
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"Mind you the cannot accommodate and cannot travel is usually a put off for starters especially as you’re not verified in any way "
Well spotted, corrected that, its been like that since registering!  |
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By *ugby 123Couple 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
When we used to meet we liked the more direct approach too but we would never have given a number out straight away, only after deciding to meet and then it was a burner phone as that can be turned off when not meeting.( as we got stung when giving out a normal number)
We only met single men when we met but if we were meeting a couple, the husbands number wouldn't have been the one we wanted , it would have had to be both or a video call with both of them.
You will find people who like your approach and some that obviously won't, it doesn't mean a different approach is wrong.... it just means it may take time in finding a match
Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP 4 weeks ago
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Judging by some of the replies here, we think we'll stick with our tactic. It's frustrating but if it gets rid of time wasters and chatters it's all good. Learned under a previous account not to waste time with chatters that go nowhere.
In clubs we openly ask folk if they're looking to and if they say yes invite them to play. It filters out those who aren't interested or want to watch other folk for their own tittilation. Always ended up having a great time in clubs but this site is just frustrating. |
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By *ugby 123Couple 4 weeks ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Don't be confused with people who want to chat before handing over numbers as it being for months.
There is a middle ground, some people have shortish chats and then decided to give numbers out or meet up for a social. Some people go straight from heres my number lets meet up and have sex, some may chat for longer.
There is no right or wrong way, it is just finding who matches your way, like anyone who is looking for meets, they may have to send a few mails out to find someone who matches |
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"On a positive note, we'll never have trouble with time wasters.
If clubs interest you try those instead? Obviously any interactions will be in person then
Thinking that's the best way to be honest. It is odd how folk are happy to let another man fuck their wife but won't give out a cellphone. "
This!!! |
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"Judging by some of the replies here, we think we'll stick with our tactic. It's frustrating but if it gets rid of time wasters and chatters it's all good. Learned under a previous account not to waste time with chatters that go nowhere.
In clubs we openly ask folk if they're looking to and if they say yes invite them to play. It filters out those who aren't interested or want to watch other folk for their own tittilation. Always ended up having a great time in clubs but this site is just frustrating."
The thing is though - you can exchange numbers, chat, realised actually you don't get along after all still
Often I've exchanged numbers with cold who then want to chat loads/exchange pics. Then they drift with zero intentions of meeting anyways  |
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"When we message couples we tend to;
Send pics in first message
Say we like the sound of their profile sometimes picking out something specific. A little small talk.
If they reciprocate or reply positively back we provide;
A method to contact (cellphone) number Ask when they are available for a meet or social or L=let them know when we're free.
It seems to put people off, it doesn't feel pushy to us? The way we see it is you get a better feel for someone in person and if they can't even talk on a phone then a meet isn't going to happen.
This site can't have that many flakes on it can it?"
Just because someone else has a different way of going about this doesn't make them flakes
We all use fab in totally different ways. You just have to respect that and if you don't want to adjust your way then add something to your profile to help set your expectations and move on to messaging the next person.
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By (user no longer on site) OP 4 weeks ago
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Thanks for the input everyone. Filtering time wasters is important but on reflection toning it down a tiny bit seems to yield better results.
Message with pics...then if they reciprocate suggest happy to meet at a club and let them know availability. Also suggest WhatsApp but leave it up to them. Boom!
Either they get back with firm suggestions on moving forward to a meet, or they suggest speaking via their preferred method. Either way is a win because if they don't get back that's less time wasted for us.
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